Dr. Daniel Amen's Simple Tip to Change the Dynamic in any Relationship

One of the most powerful tools Dr. Amen ever discovered to radically change relationship dynamics came from an unlikely source: a penguin named Fat Freddy. In this clip, taken from Dr. Daniel Amen's television special "Raising Mentally Strong Kids", Dr. Amen tells the story of how he learned this incredibly powerful lesson and as a result, became an entirely different type of father.
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[@wheaties1435]

It’s a true business management technique… “catch people doing things right”… and praise them for it.

[@kimhadley4446]

It’s also a Master Teaching technique that works miracles in instruction & achievement. 12:1. Twelve positives to every correction. “Catch them doing it right & Praise and Affirm!”

[@MrsRildaReads]

See the good in others. I'm hearing, "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you, and love one another." Jesus was right. Again. 😮

[@Sarah-psalm127]

Always is

[@maryc9312]

It’s interesting how focusing on the positive in others helped to heal Jesse’s brain. We really do have the power to heal by focusing on ourselves and our own choices

[@confusedwhynot]

Thank you Dr. Amen for this message. This is a very good lesson for my family. I love each one of them. They all have good qualities. The problem is they spend so much time focusing on each other's failures. They say things like you always and you never. It hurts my heart to hear those words and other similar phrases. I hope over time my family can heal from the past.

[@gratefulblessed4918]

Pray it into them!

[@Atikyne]

"focus on what you want to see more of" -visakanv

[@sharondoan1447]

I call this technique of only responding to the good, “ refusing to rise to the bait”. Fisherman will understand. But, it’s not only applicable to fish.

[@zibifranz2429]

Genius story but it also shows how simple is our mental construction, I will remember your penguin forever! 🙂

[@alcelynpedrique5069]

Dr. Amen, I wish I would have known of you twenty eight years ago. I admire what you do and your approach to Mind Health. Thanks for what you do!

[@marieem1648]

My 5 years daughter nailed alone. She tells me how much she loves me only when I do right with her and she’s so natural every time. She teach me to be aware of my behavior&care about myself 😢 I started to suspect me of ADHD : I multitask, I overreact I can’t focus when she’s all around…I am blessed she help me to be aware... Thanks Good

[@landyw5351]

😊

[@joannatyack8641]

??

[@christinekoenig5669]

Don't understand what you've texted.

[@barbaramariemua]

Wow this is game changing! I’m going to show it to my teen daughter, maybe we can improve things.

[@sunnystardust1008]

Thank you for working with your daughter for a better relationship!! 🤗

[@maddyruscoe2707]

Dr Amen you are such a gift to humanity

[@jerkov420]

My god what a touching story. It was a touching story within a touching story. Made me reflect on my relationship with my mother (non-existent at best) and with my daughter (amazing) and how I can make them better. Thanks dr. Amen!

[@faithevolution552]

This is brilliant advise. Thank you for sharing this. God bless you all all those who are trying to repair their relationships ❤

[@pearlchang5775]

Change yourself and show appreciation

[@eftsoulpath333]

So simple and yet so powerful period thank you❤

[@Cassiaski]

Thank you for making it available! ❤

[@KimberlyKelly2000]

Praise is the only thing that teaches love

[@julianagregori5888]

Dr Amem is a present to society!

[@mikeskel45]

He really is. They need to teach his program in every high school.

[@trudysoole1447]

This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Thank you Dr. Amen!!!

[@lsmith8659]

raising mentally strong kids requires mentally strong parents 💪😂 having kids has taught me how wrongfully I was raised lmao I definitely have a conflict seeking mother of my own.. along with a dad who is conflict avoidant 🤣 married over 50yrs and still cant figure it out smh.. if u ever have to live with your parents as an adult, how quickly you will realize the origin of your mental problems 🤯🤬🤣🤣 but this video was very helpful 😇 breaking the cycle is crucial!! so much great psych content on yt! keep up the great work dr Amen! 🙏💗💯 (penguins are also my favorite 😁)

[@KellenAdair]

Mine, too. 🐧 No wonder I think so of Dr Amen and all of his wonderful advice

[@sunnystardust1008]

We lived with my mother for a mere 4.5 months while we cleaned and unhoarded the house and learned more about my mental health, triggers and trauma than I could cope with.

[@wqrf940]

Noticing the present moment is the key ...

[@echoes8]

Wow this hits deep. So true. so grateful for the advice/reminder 💜

[@tamb7587]

Thank you for a good reminder of what we need to do!

[@slkonnaris8477]

Brilliant! Very wise words❤

[@kulturfreund6631]

Wonderful. - Dear Dr. Amen , thanks so much for sharing your knowledge and experience and the guidance. You’re outstanding 👍👍👍

[@lisajane4330]

So glad I came across this, great advice ❤

[@edierhoads5880]

That was deep

[@rebeccar4971]

This is amazing. Going to implement today. Appreciate you!! And BTW you helped me heal when I had very had panic attacks by reading your books and understanding the brain.

[@ancientwisdom108]

Good stuff for any relationship.

[@nelanigoonawardena9149]

This is really helpful. Thank you 😊

[@bemadewhole]

Thank you, Dr Amen! 😍

[@katjuliano5105]

You made me cry Dr Amen. 🐧🐧🐧

[@izabelamagierska5457]

Thank you Dr Amen 😘

[@leighd301]

What an amazing story! I love it, thank you!❤

[@cherylpereeia1756]

What great advice Dr. Amen! ❤❤❤

[@Sylvia_Aparicio]

Great Reminder🌷

[@michaelynmanarang9740]

Catch them being good!

[@kimberlyknight3011]

Oh my heart ❤ beautiful story. Thank you Dr. Amen. I appreciate you moreover your brain 🧠

[@jackieR8983]

Wow, thank you so much!

[@Captaincrunch280]

Love this guy

[@paulvoas3328]

What if you do that, notice what they have done well, as a teacher or coach but then they keep doing things that are negative. This is the approach in many schools, PBIS schools especially, and all this social and emotional training and curriculum and yet behaviors are still out of control? Sincerely a frustrated teacher/coach

[@laurafay2796]

Adults should be doing this also. With each other. It is not a child's job to train their coach or teacher. This technique is useful and effective however if the negative behavior continues it needs to be addressed by their superiors

[@dolce9876]

Thanks. So true.

[@thehautergroup]

SO good. Thank you.

[@jasminejojoellerton9647]

Beautiful, thank you ❤

[@sb733]

Thank you Dr

[@earthdakini]

Right on Dr. Amen. 💕🥰🌟🕊

[@aliyam5291]

Super!

[@anastasiatrushkinaxelrod6544]

❤thank you

[@blanchehanstein3450]

Very interesting one...

[@dianemoril7612]

thank you!

[@user-et3tm2mg4m]

Brilliant

[@xamaqueen1902]

💯 hence why I’m not talking to my mother atm for 2 months I’m having a BIG BREAK bc all she comments on is the bad /the negative! Like a covert narcissist/ malignant narcissist I’m not like this I see the best in everything and everyone and I’m the eternal optimist unless I actually see an obstruction that can’t be repaired, @danielamen god bless you on your great work!

[@tr9066]

That’s it. I’m buying a stuffed penguin today.

[@AlchemysMom]

Sold

[@rebeccaw1772]

❤

[@melissabeckham6917]

Wonderful talk, thank you. But I’m sad thinking about all the wild creatures in Sea World type situations. They deserve better from humans.

[@habibaroyees]

❤😊

[@simonar6492]

So now the kids have to have better emotional intelligence than the parents?

[@emmax0000]

My exact same thoughts

[@graceg3250]

They always have been expected to be more mature than adults. They can’t talk back, argue, do things with their own timing, etc.

[@washingtonroad6738]

No. The point is that positive reinforcement works better than punishment or ignoring. And, yes, you can teach and model emotional intelligence to teens. And the best way to learn is by teaching and modeling effective behavior.

[@courteneyhall9640]

I’ve tried this. Doesn’t work on everyone… and if it does, often not long enough to change much. I’m keep trying because I have no other choice.

[@zioncityinternational3757]

Isn’t this how to love xxx

[@gailfagan7579]

Works very well with wives, too. And husbands...

[@midlifemom5829]

My husband has focused on the negative not positive. He is hlass half empty. It has damaged the relationships within my family

[@kathleensmith644]

I agree with what he says, but you can’t praise everything. Sometimes children need to be told that wasn’t the right thing to do. Otherwise children become arrogant, entitled teenagers.

[@aveleedeleon7694]

Of course you must tell children when they do wrong. I don’t think that’s what he’s saying. He’s saying not to react to their bad behaviors but react to their good behaviors with love and praise. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t sit your kids down and have a talk with them during bad behavior, but to handle it wisely and not just get mad and yell at them and then don’t even notice them when they behave positively.

[@patmaurer8541]

Of course, we can help them identify problem behavior, and solutions for changing it. It simply needs to be about the behavior, not about their character or worth. Imagine you were addressing the same problem with another adult whose opinion you care about, and who you want to maintain a relationship with. What would you say to them? You'd use calm and respectful words to confront them. Tell them how their decision affects you. And have every confidence that, now that they know, they'll correct it themselves; because you trust they're a decent person and want to do better. This approach not only changes choices now; it will come into their mind any time a similar situation arises in future. Effective change comes from caring, not fear or avoiding punishment. We need to be someone they trust to speak truth, and that they admire so much that they'll master themselves to make us happy. 🥰

[@MrsIda]

Noticing the good and verbalizing it is an observational reflection…not a value judgement. “Wow! Look at all these matched socks.” “Look at all the dirty dishes brought back to the counter, let’s load them in the dishwasher and run it.”

[@golfer462]

This is ABA therapy.

[@laurafay2796]

This sounds like an extremely useful tool for relationships, teaching, raising kids, however it is not the job of the child to train the parent.

[@user-oc7ph2qs2e]

I had Teachers mock me for being a stay at Home mom, and when i had my second child, who absolutely LOVED, the new baby, and wanted to be Home all the Time and take care of "ME" & the baby. The Teachers would tell me how wrong this was, and that my oldest should be outside with Friends, not with us... . When i look back now, and found out that Teachers take child phycology classes, those nasty Witches meant harm to my family 🔥🗡️

[@mtets2459]

From Jordan Peterson

[@GiGi-nd5cx]

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

[@createa.googleaccount713]

How On Earth a Professional & Most Parents can refer to Children as Goats 🐐 is BEYOND ME!!! It is BEYOND DISRESPECTFUL!!! A Sentient Being, God's Divine Creation being referred to As A GOAT 🐐/ A kid, and then Wonder Why you're having problems with that relationship! Start by being Respectful! Ok, Ok, on OCCASION, "The kids are outside playing "... But to Refer to Your Child/ God's Child & Children as Kids/ Goats is BEYOND Demonic 😈🐐👿🐐

[@hollyweaver7292]

❤