Building Connections: How to Be A Relationship Ninja | Rosan Auyeung-Chen | TEDxSFU

Rosan presents the steps required to build and maintain good relationships. She proposes that the breaking points in our weaker relationships are not found in the other person, or even in the interactions amongst us, but rather in ourselves.
Rosan is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors and has been working for the last few years at Vancouver General Hospital. In her work, she provides individual and group psychotherapy treatment to adults dealing with depression, anxiety, adjustment and personality issues, obsessive compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorders.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@properpsychology1276]

"Each person is an island unto himself, in a very real sense; and he can only build bridges to other islands if he is first of all willing to be himself and permitted to be himself" - Carl Rogers

[@mrpeace7708]

Main Points: To know Others, Know Yourself Be Vulnerable Evaluate When you get bad vibes from someone It always takes TWO in a relationship Its all about Delivery: be honest but be kind and pleasant when saying it

[@ldsjfaithrideshareandinves6513]

Outstanding.

[@ThePartyScientist]

Yes it does take two in a relationship! Relationships are like driving a car with two wheels. There is open communication with every turn and decision we make. Relationships take effort and courage and understanding that it is not just one sided

[@notredox2]

Kudos for the Video! Forgive me for the intrusion, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you tried - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (google it)? It is a good one of a kind product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my friend after many years got excellent success with it.

[@jenznwachukwu4275]

I appreciated this talk so much, especially when she pointed to knowing yourself well, being aware of your strengths and weaknesses in order not to be offended easily.

[@olgatara3676]

So true, Jennifer! It takes two people to have a relationship, and we are part of those two. What else do you find challenging in relationships, for example at work?

[@embodiedauthenticity]

Point 1: "Know yourself." Probably the hardest thing to do, but definitely powerful for building authentic connections.

[@embodiedauthenticity]

@Mckahen Gatlin definitely agree. I feel knowing yourself is a continuous process, though, feeling and getting closer to that essence of who you really are by letting go of what you are not (beliefs, emotions, thoughts etc.)

[@amirulariffofficial8042]

3:07 - know yourself 5:00 - show good and bad side, people closest to us usually know our good and bad side 5:49 - dont take it personally -people said nad thing, actually not about us, it maybe because of what happen to them 8:16 - bad vibe -take some times, what is it about that person borders u? 11:04 judgement and assumtion

[@issh2049]

Thank you

[@user-cu7so2zs2b]

One of the things I appreciated about this talk was the fact that she said if someone doesn't want to connect with you you won't be able to connect. It doesn't matter what you do.

[@ethanbelle7059]

I see a lot of people saying in the comments that she was not clear enough, but I feel the lessons were in the stories she told of how she did things wrong and how she did things right. I think it’s up to us to decipher the best ways to keep an open mind though out our connections new and old.

[@rkw420]

There was zero content that was helpful information about how to build connections, waste of time 😞

[@Drewgonsalvesacro]

I have an issue with feeling like a failure and her comment about acknowledging and unconditionally loving our weakness was what I needed to hear.

[@maryjulius925]

I really connect with her opinion on being Vulnerable. I actually find it hard to be vulnerable with people because I think no one can actually like that part of me😔

[@success1866]

Agree U, I don't really like being vulnerable either. Sometimes i find myself too defensive, which gives the others the vibe that i dont like them or i am better than them. One tip i can give is to work on your speaking skills.

[@ThePartyScientist]

A relationship like driving a car with two wheels. There is open communication with every turn and decision we make. Relationships take effort and courage and understanding that it is not just one sided. Strong connections involve two different individuals who are fully aware of their strengths and weaknesses

[@onepercentruleeveryday]

building great relationships is the key to an amazing networking. And, networking is the key to finding the right people who you can help out, and who can help you in return!:)

[@ruthcoates6414]

This talk was not only great content wise but the delivery was so entertaining. It should have more views.

[@annieev171]

I loved this! I love her enthusiasm- it's contagious

[@cchristinaw]

One of the most powerful and practical talks I’ve ever seen. It’s empowered 1000+ people in our community

[@ReconUnPro]

Underrated. I love her delivery (but of course, the slides could use some work) The content is also something that everyone could use more of.

[@johnbehneman1546]

Thank you so much. I strive to have deeply committed relationships with others.

[@otshepengditshego2991]

The sad part is that the people we trust (family) are the ones who actually attack us

[@rashmirv8142]

And hurt us , because of the ability to hurt coz they know we love them.

[@abdulalmadi2210]

Dont say us because not all parents hate their childs

[@bear.1209]

@@abdulalmadi2210 stop being so defensive.

[@mounabnch6343]

toxic people tend to be the ones who are closer to us

[@tictoc5443]

Seeking healthy rather than strong connections maybe a better goal?

[@mindimonroe8]

Great stage presence, and enthusiasm. Thank you 👏🏽

[@corpdq1334]

Rosan Auyeung-Chen presents the steps required to build and maintain good relationships. She proposes that the breaking points in our weaker relationships are not found in the other person, or even in the interactions amongst us, but rather in ourselves. While watching the presentation complete the notes below. When completed, submit. According to the speaker, to become a relationship ninja takes 4 key components. List those components: 1. 2. 3. 4. Record the important “Take Away” for each segment of the presentation. Any interesting ideas, or “I hadn’t thought of that before” moments? Write them down below. Know Yourself Don’t Take It Personally Bad Vibes Judgements and Assumptions It’s All in the Delivery You Are Never Lonely, When You Connect

[@stephanieherman2861]

@@borntoslay3996 it is never wrong if you feel it! Question is, why did you feel mad? If it were to happen to me, i could imagine it makes me feel insecure when someone leaves me out. Next step would be: what can i learn from that, how could i improve the situation

[@stephanieherman2861]

@@borntoslay3996 most likely i would get sad. Then i would try to understand why they did not want to see me. Then i would guess that i do something that they dont like. Then i feel insecure about myself. Then i would try to find out how i can improve and then i would start to change something.

[@anyways4438]

Wait what is this comment wtf

[@adriemolk1120]

Thank you so much Rosan Auyeung-Chen

[@maedehparsi1355]

Amaaaazing Ted talk! Thank you!❤❤❤❤

[@charlesloxley7077]

Lovely talk. Very well presented

[@microsoftsarker]

Thank you so much for this video, what a great help. It works perfectly. My office is activated now. LIKED AND SUBSCRIBED

[@kristinanikolova4937]

I think she has read the four agreements by Don Miguel ruiz. :D Great talk!

[@TheSandsplash]

Pretend to like people, works everytime for short term. And be genuine and share problems, works for long term.

[@bakarephilip3827]

Thanks for sharing this. With this, I am a relationship Ninja already!

[@ghoto_777]

relationship with a ninja?

[@telsamorgan5369]

Thanks for all the detailed information you have provided in this video. I like your way of explaining every point. Keep sharing such great videos in the future also.

[@chocola4llusion]

Great Talk. I enjoyed it.

[@sonjagalyon-kamonika]

Thank you so much for a very humorous and fun dialogue. You make some great points about not judging. Nevertheless, this always depends on the situation you are confronted with. If you have met somebody in a work setting, it might be a good idea to reserve judgment until you've spent more time with them. If you come across somebody out in a dark alley or just you have a bad feeling about it, you might want to trust your intuition and trust your gut. It might be the difference between life and death. Many people who have been trafficked have not trusted their gut. Many people who have been scammed by contractors also did not trust their first impression and intuition. So, it's always a matter of perspective in the situation. Thank you very much

[@childofaphrodite1997]

Amazing Ted talk!

[@5MinutePsychology]

Building meaningful relationships is hard. Every relationship. I don’t believe a long lasting relationship can be built effortlessly. This is perhaps the reason why so many people break up. They search for a fairytale romance that would last a lifetime.

[@arfius6134]

The ending ! 🥰

[@verolee4493]

Excellent.

[@Aklilualemayehu-dk9yc]

I get good advise and comments,so best for me.

[@I_agree_with_you]

brilliant..thanks

[@AlbertaRealtorEddyTadesse]

great video, good content!

[@reawardintel]

great talk

[@mariyavatulko7922]

Well said I love it 😀

[@nomsachirwa8845]

Very nice delivery

[@lara.z7393]

Tony. It’s already here!

[@do-u-know-that]

good job!

[@noyb77711]

I hate Ted Talks but she was wonderful.

[@arfius6134]

Thanks

[@AshokKumar-ib4bf]

Yes, Ours communication and behavior just a vice versa with other.

[@indianfitnessguy9989]

Very nice.

[@Rich.Staples]

People need to STOP BULLYING people who look different and people who act different than them. Be nice to everyone not because you have to but because thats how you should be treated and we should encourage others to be kind through our example. People like this who blame the victims for what happens to them are reprehensible. But i am sure shee means well.

[@Panacea9]

Yes I respect the people in the group for doing what they do if it is in that direction. It sucks. Except when that guy had a panic attack and threatened to cut out my tongue. It wasn't me that blabbed.

[@bhagatramkovasi5839]

Thankyou mem wonderful 🤳

[@germankatalaha7656]

I didnt believe it untill it saw it by myself. Strong Network starts through knowig yourself

[@ShondaD_]

The thing is with me. Is that I have to find ppl to connect with. I don’t speak to family currently and I do not have any friends to converse with so it’s like I have to start from the bottom and move up.

[@davidwhitcher1972]

My weakness is the lack of social skills, hence i am watching this.

[@user-ex1dl3tx2p]

For me it is extremely hard to connect and create a family outside my blood relations as no 1 can take their place and I c no point.if u wee surrounded by loving n caring ppl then u were simply lucky as for me its not easy to connect with strangers and seek or expect that loge n understanding and when i do, I am always left disappointed and hurt for trusting expecting or investing in them

[@billydurham692]

I liked her talk. Slide game needs work. But not bad at all.

[@Selsabee]

it was really sad that no one popped in my mind when she said think of someone that's closest to you

[@coppersense999]

Gotta love Canada.

[@vinithosmane5283]

Communication gift wrapping

[@eliyasmoral7846]

Nice

[@michaelthomas7205]

You sound good!

[@Panacea9]

Yes I will do it, but no hard carries. I dont actually enjoy most of it. I process things though and I am fine for the most part.

[@md.islamuddin6161]

nice

[@justinnine4940]

she definitely has connected me

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

Building is the keyword...in this title.

[@tyler460]

🤙🏽

[@mohamadbokloch1238]

How to implement online partnerships

[@drebishop3296]

Just read the title

[@SonamSingh-sp6ey]

💙

[@anwarjahedroky2801]

Wow

[@aceways4771]

What did you start to say when they asked that same question? I thought you were going to give us an example of your new humorous response, can you tell us your new reply please? Did you try to blank them?

[@brakabrayka3494]

To builld a connection with someone u should. Build a connection with ur self

[@najichahni]

we need 2 people to build connections always. connection based on values will last forever.

[@SS-ds9lg]

Op💕

[@EF.music.]

👊✨

[@CandyLemon36]

This content is rich in insights. A book I read was equally enriching and life-altering. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@michaeljohn1323]

Thank you dr Abumere on KZbin being the reason why am smiling today, your herbal supplement is indeed an active one. keep saving lives sir

[@RaikenXion]

I just dont know how to connect with people, i wait in a queue in my local co-op store and the clerk may smile and say hello or something. And im like yeh im good and just pay for my shopping and focus on getting out there. Sometimes the odd person will try and chat with you as they're waiting. Why dont they just shut up and talk to someone else, im just minding my own business geez.

[@chiefinspectorkido2999]

Sounds like you‘re an introvert pal!

[@MuscleMixer]

you don't always have to engage but if your looking at this video it sounds like you want more relationships. Try to talk

[@BrainFoodCafe]

you have so much to improve. smile.

[@MissyLenaee]

Definitely could relate I started forcing myself to ask how is your day. It actually gets me a heartwarming feeling to see people light up and it actually started helping people view me differently.

[@ReconUnPro]

Rather than don't know how to connect with people, it sounds like you don't want to connect. And that's fine too, just live how you want to live. However, the downside would be that when you want support and love from people around you, there could be fewer people to offer that.

[@margarethartman639]

To secure a future for our children and unborn generation, thereby generating more income, it is time we learn and get more ideas by interesting in lucrative platforms such as Brandi J Adam's

[@jamesmunoz5876]

Absolutely correct bitcoin trading is a good one and most preferable amongst all.

[@mabastdarr9947]

Let's talk about it over and over again.

[@sharonashworth2546]

If you ask for my opinion, I think bitcoin has something promising for the world. But having a great mentor is the best.

[@darliacable4081]

Mr Brandi is a successful and recommended trader when it comes to bitcoin.

[@rebaduke4448]

How can I reach this expert Brandi?

[@olamidealiyu4504]

Remember Don't take it personally 😂😂

[@abacoejenks]

The propaganda against bad vibes particularly targets young 20 somethings women. And it ruins lives. Part of knowing yourself is listening to the bad and the good vibes and learning what they mean for you.

[@SharifulIslam-vn9kf]

i liked her kalk

[@tom4412]

Are you the child she showed in the videos , Chinese children learn so quickly

[@abeesabet2164]

The sound of your video is really Baf

[@mrpeace7708]

Not the BEST ted talk, and speaker could have gone deeper into the first two points. Less stories, and more useful info would have been great!

[@RaikenXion]

I guess its hard when they're talking on stage in front of many people, trying to remember all the points of their talk, seeing reaction off their audience, when they laugh at certain points in the story they make.

[@noyb77711]

I thought it was perfect. Glad you aren't giving a Ted Talk.

[@mrpeace7708]

@@noyb77711 I agree :)

[@villainarcttv8758]

I actually let this play and forgot it was in my headphones What a waste of time

[@blakeboyd7579]

Right

[@gordongray9166]

Appreciate you trying to share some wisdom but I think you missed the mark with this one. I feel you haven't discovered the truth behind the subject matter you're discussing. Thanks anyways though.

[@devorahacts]

I didn't like this at all. I was hoping for a lot more from this alleged expert.

[@olgatara3676]

Interesting, @devorahacts: what are you looking to learn more about when it comes to relationships?

[@lesteroliveros8322]

Yes it has less actionable steps.

[@BrainFoodCafe]

of course you would hope for more. But I think she did her best.

[@CuriousInquiror]

Agreed, this was more about the importance of building connections rather than how to actually build connections...

[@freshjuice457]

Asian ted talk on how to be a NINJA XD

[@prashantkumarparmanu]

she don't know what she is taking about . blah blah .

[@DangerousWordsPodcast]

I’m sorry but I disagreed with her. Sometimes when you see someone and you don’t like them there is a reason it’s not just you putting bad feelings towards them. It is a self defense mechanism and I have learned that it is pretty accurate.

[@maryjulius925]

I really connect with her opinion on being Vulnerable. I actually find it hard to be vulnerable with people because I think no one can actually like that part of me😔

[@artdzot]

I like your message) Please write more) 🎉😊