America’s culture war thrives on anger. Here’s how to escape it. | The Dilemma Ep. 2

[@bigthink]

For more tools to have honest conversations, go to moralcourage.org/tools.

[@sshender3773]

What a thoughtful and reflective person. A breath of fresh air in this day and age.

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

@GensisBe is in the house -- she'd love to hear more from you, as would I.

[@c.l.montoya2972]

This conversation brings hope, opens the door for understanding, and ultimately the necessary change that is meant to be. The young lady, Genesis(?), articulates clearly, she has the moral courage, and shares her tools; these are the qualities of a profound leader. Thanks to all who contributed in this video. I have saved it and will share it.💜

[@thepolishedwook]

I love that she said she questioned her own beliefs and considered whether she was dehumanizing confederates, too. It's insightful and brave. I live in a place where left activists would bully her incessently or threaten her with violence if she admitted that in front of them.

[@jdesert5036]

People in general distrust “groups” but are more open to individual people, even those on the other side of their beliefs

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

That's demonstrably true as long as individuals are open to engaging. Too often, people who claim to be misunderstood are either too cynical to have good faith conversations or consider it an "emotional burden" that involves "educating you, which is not my job." Nothing can change in a lasting way with attitudes like that. Mind you, cynics don't give a s*** if nothing changes. Misery is their oxygen; the more of it, the better. But self-styled agents of change need to learn the skills of relational leadership. That's why we made this series something of a "how-to."

[@davidlakes5087]

The cure for anger is food, shelter, healthcare, and financial security for the masses. You don’t need some bogeyman to blame your problems on when you haven’t got any problems.

[@ri-oj1ul]

All of those things can be solved with money. Instead of being angry, focus on making money. Simple.

[@gravestone4840]

@ri-oj1ul People can't make money when theyre sick, uneducated, too poor to afford a vehicle/transportation, already working every waking hour just to scrape by. You said nothing of value and took the time to edit it. A complete non-solution.

[@davidlakes5087]

@@ri-oj1ul In 1975, my grandfather, who had no college and worked in a warehouse for a living, was able to support my grandmother and bought his first house at the age of 28. Although it’s not impossible for an unskilled worker at 28 today to purchase a home, it has gone from a common occurrence to something extremely rare. The American Dream has largely left the average worker behind as wealth and income have concentrated at the top.

[@xibalbaNOW]

Bingo!

[@xibalbaNOW]

@@davidlakes5087seems we are merely able to rent the American dream

[@janjans1178]

Great job, Big Think Thanks!

[@TonyStPierre]

Wow Irshad Manji, please continue using your communication skills to help heal this world, you're hitting the nail on the head.

[@GenesisBe]

Thank you for having me ❤

[@ManyGhosts]

You are such an example to the rest of us. Thanks so much.

[@Raz31337]

🎉

[@pokemonmanic3595]

You're an inspiration.

[@RenegadeContext]

It takes integrity to really look at yourself and seeing what is yours in the conversation. It's not easy. Thanks for being a good example of it

[@TheFULLMETALCHEF]

Point you made about our political leaders actually being followers…exactly the truth. Where are the leaders that actually have enough integrity to be agents of change instead of echoing their voter base?

[@The10thManRules]

Think whatever you want. Just do it critically and with genuine intellectual honesty. The 5 Steps to Critical Thinking: What is critical thinking? In general, critical thinking refers to actively questioning statements rather than blindly accepting them. Critical thinking results in radical free will. 1. The critical thinker is flexible yet maintains an attitude of healthy skepticism. Critical thinkers are open to new information, ideas, and claims. They genuinely consider alternative explanations and possibilities. However, this open-mindedness is tempered by a healthy sense of skepticism (Hyman, 2007). The critical thinker consistently asks, “What evidence supports this claim?” 2. The critical thinker scrutinizes the evidence before drawing conclusions. Critical thinkers strive to weigh all the available evidence before arriving at conclusions. In evaluating evidence, critical thinkers distinguish between empirical evidence versus opinions based on feelings or personal experience. 3. The critical thinker can assume other perspectives. Critical thinkers are not imprisoned by their own points of view. Nor are they limited in their capacity to imagine life experiences and perspectives that are fundamentally different from their own. Rather, the critical thinker strives to understand and evaluate issues from many different angles. 4. The critical thinker is aware of biases and assumptions. In evaluating evidence and ideas, critical thinkers strive to identify the biases and assumptions that are inherent in any argument (Riggio & Halpern, 2006). Critical thinkers also try to identify and minimize the influence of their own biases. 5. The critical thinker engages in reflective thinking. Critical thinkers avoid knee-jerk responses. Instead, critical thinkers are reflective. Most complex issues are unlikely to have a simple solution. Therefore, critical thinkers resist the temptation to sidestep complexity by boiling an issue down to an either/or, yes/no kind of proposition. Instead, the critical thinker expects and accepts complexity (Halpern, 2007). Critical thinking is not a single skill, but rather a set of attitudes and thinking skills. As is true with any set of skills, you can get better at these skills with practice. In a nut shell, critical thinking is the active process of minimizing preconceptions and biases while evaluating evidence, determining the conclusions that can reasonably be drawn from evidence, and considering alternative explanations for research findings or other phenomena. CRITICAL THINKING QUESTIONS >Why might other people want to discourage you from critical thinking? >In what situations is it probably most difficult or challenging for you to exercise critical thinking skills? Why? > What can you do or say to encourage others to use critical thinking in evaluating questionable claims or assertions?

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

I'd like to offer a thought to your first step of being a critical thinker: Critical thinkers understand and are open to being wrong. About any and everything. (The pursuit of gaining understanding and knowledge (wisdom) is more important.) You're saying it without saying it, but it needs to be plainly stated. I have come to realize that almost everything we are taught is either brainwashing or backwards. Another thing about being a critical thinker is word choice. For the most part I'm a pretty literal person, but most people aren't and it can lead to a lot of confusion in dialogue. For example: I don't believe in free will because I take the word "free" literally. Nothing in life is by definition free. Yet, when I try to explain this to people they miss what I'm trying to convey so often I don't talk about it or other similar thoughts. I know the audience for the way I view life and my thoughts are rare. The last thing I would say is conversations with critical thinkers never stop. Nowadays most adults can't handle a thorough in-depth conversation with complexity. Let alone a conversation that never ends. To me, that's really all a relationship is: a conversation that never ends. Yes, I understand there is more to it. More effort that goes in than just talking. However, at the foundation, that's how it all starts and changes are made. Relationships end when the conversation stops and so does the hope of positive change.

[@The10thManRules]

@@ayemiksenoj5254 Agreed. Thanks for commenting. Be well.

[@stevecagle2317]

Regarding meaningful conversations, it first requires a common frame of reference. I was educated in the sciences and seek legitimate, verifiable facts and evidence. I then follow the evidence to learn, understand, and if necessary, change my mind with new evidence. Sadly, I live in a state overwhelmingly filled with people who follow "alternative facts," wishful, magical thinking and seeing things how they want to see things - not how they are. Without a common frame of reference, engagement is like "teaching a pig to sing. It'll frustrate you and annoy the pig " I don't need the aggravation and rise in my blood pressure.

[@RenegadeContext]

A common frame of reference can't be built without communication

[@David-jb5dv]

I so needed this and will continue to learn . Thank you.

[@taowiaawib9127]

Thank you this is such an important conversation. A lot of what you talk about I try to instill in my clients as a PMHNP.

[@Present4]

This was really well done. 🙏🏼

[@geoarambula139]

We’re constantly told to find common ground and meet the other side halfway. But what should we do when the other side doesn’t view you as an equal human being. How do you compromise with that? I won’t meet hate halfway

[@amarbattulga9079]

There is no we, usually the crazy people use we.

[@RenegadeContext]

If you never talk to them then any idea of how they view you comes from your own side. The point is open dialogue will teach you that most people don't think that way even if they don't think like you

[@xabiergranja]

This series with Manji is pretty interesting! It models great conversation styles and approaches for people who want to talk and disagree, but no longer know how to. Make more of these.

[@annejensen5704]

I believe there is no amount of anger that will resolve a conflict. Only compassion and peace can do that. This doesn’t mean rolling over and accepting abuse. We all have to evolve together through dialog and community. Individualism can only go so far.

[@sk8freak176]

This is the realest thing on Big Think so far

[@RenegadeContext]

It is time to teach people and to learn ourselves how to have open dialogue

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

I get it but also…. This is literally life-threatening political violence aimed at people who are 1,000% allowed to be angry.

[@RenegadeContext]

What is political violence?

[@SnakeSalmon8izback]

@@RenegadeContext What is google?

[@RenegadeContext]

@@SnakeSalmon8izback I'm asking for your definition

[@SnakeSalmon8izback]

@@RenegadeContext people choose their definitions now? Okay let me ask you this, how many genders are there, what is "your" definition?

[@Bronsard]

Curious heart, intelligence and with dialogue and critical thinking at work, hopefully it would expand to the masses and the systems. We be tired outcha, fr!

[@Mokkel73]

Angry people are drawn to activism - and activism is drawn to angry people.

[@Joseph-xx2mx]

A perspective of injustice or unfairness causes both

[@JillKnapp]

Take a step back: Why are they angry?

[@Mokkel73]

@@JillKnapp Because of some untreated mental trauma, and not the cause they believe in.

[@JillKnapp]

Some maybe fall into that category. But other people actually are on the shit end of a gross injustice, and after years of getting nowhere by following the proper channels (filling out the right forms, meeting politely with their representatives, signing petitions), then they feel like a more visible and disruptive form of activism is the only way to be heard. So there are multiple reasons-- and I'm sure even more than the examples I gave here.

[@jujjuj7676]

This isn't about comparing perspectives or self-reflection. There's no value in talking to the other side when they reject rational dialogue. The problem isn't the topic of debate, but the fact that reason fails in such cases. History shows us this-WWI, WWII, the Civil War, the Korean War-all follow the same pattern. When issues reach a certain point, force becomes the only way to resolve them. Dialogue can't change people with deeply entrenched beliefs, especially when they disguise their true intentions using tactics like "dog whistle politics," where surface issues mask underlying hatred. For some, especially beyond a certain age, their minds are set, and any challenge to their beliefs is dismissed as trickery. This inflexibility, sadly, leaves force as the only means of resolution. Supporting evidence of this pattern can be found in studies on cognitive rigidity, showing that the brain's adaptability decreases with age, reinforcing entrenched beliefs and making ideological shifts less likely. Historically, wars have often erupted when ideological divides become unbridgeable through peaceful discourse. So we all need to embrace that war and death is the only option in situations like we see happening.

[@Thejericko17]

I don't trust that people are well informed. I trust that most people are emotional decision makers who would prefer to be told rather than find out for themselves. It's the herd mentality that I people live in that makes me distrustful.

[@JeanDelucre2358]

I think there is an important line to be identified in this discussion that I don't feel is being addressed to the most thorough depth possible. In the video, it's saying that compromise is less likely to be reached when issues are voiced as demands. However, this doesn't take into consideration that differences in beliefs and opinions, and the impact they have on marginalized groups, aren't just limited in beliefs and opinions, but also in action and oppression. When confronted by oppression, such as in a fascist state, no amount of asking, debating, or requesting will stop the oppressors from executing their will. And at that point, force and demand must be implemented. Here we are in the US looking at a very real possibility of an authoritarian, fascist state executing their will against their own citizens whom they deem as inferior and sub-human. LGBTQ+ folk, immigrants, racial minorities, religious minorities, etc are all at risk right now and for the foreseeable future. There is no debating, compromising, or asking nicely of the people who wish to harm these marginalized groups. Force and demand have historically been the ONLY solutions when confronted with the removal of civil rights, liberty, and even our own lives. It was said in the video that everything must start with conversation, but what happens when once side refuses to start there? Once it crosses that line from belief to action, then action in return is the only solution. With all due respect to the panelists, interviewees, and the host, no amount of polite discussion, requests for compromise, or passive ideation prevented the Nazis from imposing their will against their perceived enemies.

[@Avraham420]

The dude who wants to shame people for not giving in to his demands is missing the whole point. I really hope this got through to him upon reflection.

[@brothermine2292]

It would help if states switched to a voting method that creates a strong incentive for politicians to support majority-preferred (median) policies. Primitive voting methods count only one majority (or plurality), which can often be a coalition of minorities on different issues... for example a minority who want to ban abortion, plus a minority who oppose gun regulation, plus a minority who want to deport or abuse people of color, plus a minority who want to cut capital gains taxes, plus a minority who oppose environment protection regulations, etc. This undermines majority rule and the stability of government policies, promotes political polarization, and empowers extremists by making their supporters' votes needed by the rest of their coalition. Contrast that with the world's most widely used voting method: the Robert's Rules procedure for voting on motions. It counts multiple head-to-head majorities (by voting on two alternatives at a time, to eliminate one of the two by majority rule). Counting multiple head-to-head majorities is what makes Robert's Rules reasonably effective at defeating minority-preferred policies. All of the head-to-head majorities could be counted using a single round of voting -- no primary elections or runoffs are needed -- in which each voter is allowed to express his/her order of preference. The order of finish should be constructed by processing the majorities one at a time from largest to smallest, placing each majority's more-preferred candidate ahead of their less-preferred candidate in the order of finish. Much of the anger discussed in the video is directed at people believed to have extremist views and enough political power to enact them or threaten to enact them. A good voting method would reliably defeat politicians who advocate extreme policies, instead of giving them the appearance of a popular mandate. By reliably defeating them, politicians who want to win elections would have a strong incentive to oppose those policies, and media pundits who don't want to associate themselves with losers would no longer have an incentive to promote those policies.

[@sciencesaves]

Anger and fear

[@RayG817]

My problem is that I don't respect people who love the confederacy and what it stood for. I don't respect people who voted for Trump. I talk to people like this all the time, but I have to hide my disrespect. If they ever try to convert me, I, respectfully, let them know how I feel. But the time for their ideology has passed. It's that simple.

[@dolphindenny5989]

This is hilarious. The dilemma of how to be a reasonable human

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

Right? And yet, here we are -- in need of skills to rediscover how to be reasonable. Hilarious it may be, but considering that our threat-seeking ego-brains are constantly amped up by various aspects of our technologically connected yet relationally disconnected culture, I'm not surprised that the "how" of being a reasonable human has been lost. Find it again, we must.

[@damienhudson8028]

I understand your comment but disagree that this video is hilarious because it aspires and promotes respect. Saying it is "hilarious" does not sound respectful. The reason I say I understand where you are coming from is that it affirms what many of us have been taught and do, inquire, think and self reflect and reject some false ideas presented by others as axioms. The world would likely be a better place with more informed critical thought and that what's she's promoting.

[@vashok]

​@@Irshad_MoralCouragerediscover insinuates we knew it at some point, which is blatantly not true.

[@tuckerbugeater]

@@damienhudson8028 respect isn't a permanent thing

[@esmas8423]

Is Mississippi Turning streaming anywhere?

[@bradleybowden3088]

People today are conditioned to protect their own worldviews at all costs. It's hard to have civil discourse when both sides aren't open to having their mind changed.

[@MrHopperkeith]

My one wish is that all people can truly see one another as human first. I know that is hard when we have so much programming that goes into us from birth. Perhaps one day we will fulfill the promises of the Declaration of Independence, if we truly view that as a foundational document, Life, Liberty, The Pursuit of Happiness. If we could only get money out of politics and shut down 24hr news broadcasting. Maybe that could be a start. However, talking without a building a sustained action plan is cathartic, but really kind of pointless. It's mental masturbation at its finest. Maybe we'll get there one day. We've come far, but we have a lot more ground to cover.

[@madamemotarey]

Knowing there's someone else like you out there gives me hope that we will get there one day

[@cashx370]

Not the direction I thought this video would go. I was hoping it was going to be more generalized and talk more about why everything turns into an Us vs Them mentality in America. I feel like this could’ve touched on how people have become so socially isolated. How the lack of Third Places existing removes a natural way for people of varying backgrounds to meet and have general conversations. Instead, people drive to work alone in their car, work in a setting around a similar demographic to their own, and live in a neighborhood similar to their demographic. When you’re presented with minimal opportunities to meet people outside of your demographic, it’s pretty easy for that Us vs Them mentality to take hold.

[@aster5031]

10/10

[@kastenolsen9577]

People see me as white. I am part Chinese, Hindu, Hebrew, French, German, and others. I AM HUMAN!!! We are ALL HUMAN.

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

Even more important, we're all SENTIENT beings - including nonhuman animals. Our species' specious supremacy complex will be our undoing.

[@c.l.montoya2972]

⁠@@Irshad_MoralCourage Beautiful perspective, and so true. This gave me good chills, the chills I get when I feel the Lord’s presence.💜

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

@@c.l.montoya2972 God bless!🧡

[@luguy8347]

We are human first before we are male or female, too. We all need to belong. To belong we let go of ourselves. It’s a trade off.

[@lIlIIIllIlIIIllIlIIIllIlIIIl]

black lives matter

[@TheDeepening718]

I'm a thief and please quell your anger. I want to get away with my crimes. It's ok to steal and cheat just don't raise your voice and use naughty words.

[@JillKnapp]

Why are you a thief? Is it because you are hungry? Would you need to be a thief if you and your family had food, healthcare, and opportunity?

[@YaoAnne-j7g]

I recently sold some of my long-term position and currently sitting on about 250k, do you think Nvidia is a good buy right now or I have I missed out on a crucial buy period, any good stock recommendation on great performing stocks or Crypto will be appreciated

[@DerickSams]

As a beginner investor, it’s essential for you to have a mentor to keep you accountable. Ruth Ann Tsakonas is my trade analyst, she has guided me to identify key market trends, pinpointed strategic entry points, and provided risk assessments, ensuring my trades decisions align with market dynamics for optimal returns.

[@FederickLeo]

I managed to grow a nest egg of around 120k to over a Million. I'm especially grateful to Adviser Ruth Ann Tsakonas, for her expertise and exposure to different areas of the market.

[@DerickSams]

I don't really blame people who panic. Lack of information can be a big hurdle. I've been making more than $100k passively by just investing through an advisor, and I don't have to do much work. Inflation or no inflation, my finances remain secure. So I really don't blame people who panic.

[@YaoAnne-j7g]

nice! once you hit a big milestone, the next comes easier. How can i reach her if you don't mind me asking?

[@YaoAnne-j7g]

I've just looked up her full name on my browser and found her webpage without sweat, very much appreciate this

[@kastenolsen9577]

It is time that we DON'T see each other as Black, Brown, Red, White, Yellow. It is time we see EACH OTHER as a PERSON and a PERSONALITY. The "people in power" want us separated for control,. They don't want us getting together as ONE PEOPLE. We are one people, children of Earth!!!

[@njay4361]

Powerful work. Thank you for this! 🫶🙏

[@maemilev]

She need to check on her ego.

[@Dullydude]

the problem is the people who hold bigoted views are often socially isolated in rural parts of the country and never interact with other views. sure it's great to say all you have to do is talk to these people so they see you as human, but our built environment and social structure aren't giving anyone the opportunity. It also makes matters worse when we have a culture of "dont talk about politics" in social settings. you SHOULD be talking about politics at work, at school, at family gatherings. what's the point of having a society if we don't openly talk about the problems we are all collectively trying to find solutions for?

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

Are you suggesting that bigots reside only in rural parts of the country? Or did I misunderstand you?

[@Dullydude]

@@Irshad_MoralCourage keyword *often*

[@TheSlenderGent88]

9:05 This part

[@Bronsard]

👏🏿🖤🙏🏿

[@zmoney4842]

as a cancer patient- anger is not cancer

[@puseletsotsilo]

😂😂😂 I hear you, sorry for laughing. May you 🙏 heal and get better soon

[@coathang3r43]

Sorry you have a disease, hopefully you are able to obtain treatment for it. There are other definitions for cancer of which they are using.

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

Big Think got rid of that word from the headline, FYI.

[@michaelp.3485]

It is metaphorical. I'm sorry you have cancer, but stop letting your insecurities and frustration restrict others from freedom of apeech.

[@patrickohara5925]

@@michaelp.3485 shut up michael

[@steveguti6452]

For whosoever calls upon The name of the Lord shall be Saved praise the Lord praise God praying for everyone Everyday God bless you all

[@xrast1215]

Hail Stan

[@mmerkley402]

"Happy is he who dasheth the babies against the rocks."

[@gravestone4840]

God is a monster.

[@makavelioutlaw7037]

Damn. I can't believe there's still states that allow tha rechid traitor, confederate symbol of proud slave owning flag 2 even b part of a state flag. I kno we racist but I thot we had taken that minuscule step.

[@themeangene]

Would you say the same about other failed independence movements around the world that weren't unquestionably perfect? There's certain tribes like the Caribs that practiced slavery so egregiously even Europeana were appalled. Should they have all historical symbolism erased?

[@chelseashurmantine8153]

Conversation vs political violence isn’t fucking action, sorry. “It’s not a hit and run” she literally can’t even speak about this without acknowledging that it’s a fight. It is a freaking fight.

[@kusheran]

Pale anger is the cancer. We all are effected, but there is a solution.

[@napesdrk1174]

All the meida - social meida too is about dark anger, don't see much of the other.

[@deadflight84]

What's pale anger?

[@deadflight84]

What's the solution?

[@napesdrk1174]

@@deadflight84 don't become a Race Ideolog

[@deadflight84]

@@napesdrk1174 who me?

[@MrBoomer-k6v]

GOD BLESS AMERICA🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@steveguti6452]

Urgent emergency please join me in prayer for all those affected families children animals massive cat 4 hurricane in Florida Georgia people are being rescued they desperately need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all

[@xrast1215]

Hail Stan

[@---Dana----]

Wow. You've just used people's tragedy to tell us what a good person you are. It is a sin to proclaim your righteouness, but to use human misery to do so is doubly bad. Shame on you!

[@coathang3r43]

Prayers aren’t going to do anything for the people affected.

[@mmerkley402]

Prayer is just a tool to trick yourself into thinking you did something to help. You did nothing.

[@mmerkley402]

@@coathang3r43 the prayer is for the OP to feel better.

[@steveguti6452]

Jesus Christ died for our Sins according to the scriptures and that he was Buried and he Rose Again the third day praise God praying for everyone Everyday God bless you all

[@xrast1215]

Hail Stan

[@mmerkley402]

@@steveguti6452 he sacrificed himself to himself to overturn a law he made. Weird blood magic.

[@Lohse_dos2]

Trump is your savior

[@brothermine2292]

Have you read in Revelations about the Antichrist?

[@coathang3r43]

One nation under Trump. 🤦‍♂️

[@mmerkley402]

@@brothermine2292 have you read revelation? Fever dream mixed with wild delusion lol

[@mmerkley402]

@brothermine2292 it's revelation BTW not plural.

[@brothermine2292]

>mmerkley402 : Yes, but so is the idea that Trump is a savior.

[@dookyshoes2684]

Increase Quality of life. Why are people so willing to accept the blatant war on this, in this country of all countries

[@deadflight84]

Goood lord! A college professor who is actually teaching communication?!?!!!!! Shes gonna get drummed out. wind up like the GOOD army officers stationed in alaska

[@Irshad_MoralCourage]

Nope. I left formal academia a few years ago precisely so I can teach what I believe is urgently needed without getting pulled into useless meetings or petty institutional politics. I'm healthier and happier than ever before.

[@deadflight84]

@@Irshad_MoralCourage it was a nice lesson. Thank you