An ADHD Sign That You're Focused on the WRONG Things

The biggest ADHD sign that stands out for me, is the decisions I made on what to focus on (or what NOT to focus on). The way I made choices in my life were often based on what I thought I "should" do, because I got to a point where I no longer trusted myself to make my own decisions.
As a kid with undiagnosed ADHD I made so many random and impulsive decisions that got me kicked out of school and trying to make ends meet on a bartender's salary. In retrospect, these were all signs of my ADHD that I'm only now starting to unravel.
But this story has a happy ending, because today all those ADHD signs have made me the person I am today - well rounded, worldly and deeply knowledgable about the things I find interesting.
What about you? What was your first or biggest sign that you had ADHD?
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[@work_in_progress161]

Once I found my passion I still found it very hard to study consistently, find motivation to get out of bed and take care of myself. I don’t want to to be surviving I want to be thriving. I have so much I want to do and share, but my adhd paralyses me. I wish one day I can support my family and be proud of myself. I am in my final year at university and am dreading seeing my grades. I know that I can get a first but so much of my work it’s so confusing to read that I have been stuck between 50 and 60%. I am a talker though and am happy that I will be remembered by my teachers and classmates

[@nannenymous]

I needed to hear this!! I felt like I was so driven back in university and had become a mess from all the job hopping I did in the last 5 years which is pretty much my whole working life so far. It’s probably too early for me to tell what I’ll eventually settle on so I should just focus on enjoying the ride, not just waiting to get to the destination especially if I don’t even know what that looks like!

[@CarenMagill]

I would encourage you to get clear on what's interesting to you, what your strengths are and start there. You don't have to be a job hopper, but if you're young and only 5 years into your work life, give yourself time to figure out what works for you and what doesn't.

[@lisbethvandennieuwenhof153]

Thank you, Karen. Your words brought a tear to my eye. All my working life I’ve been struggling. To keep focus on the tasks at hand as well as the career I so desperately wanted. But if you are not one track minded, get bored easily, have many interests ánd you’re smart enough to learn and absorb new things fast, you find yourself like me, at age 52 still starting a new study because ‘this time this is what I definitely want to do’. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching in the last year of illness, and I really think I found my path now. I’ve initiated a powwow with my boss to talk about my future and that it’s not what I’m doing right now. Fortunately I work for a big municipality that allows for internal job hopping. And I am certain this study will move me forward and has the potential to keep me fascinated for years. So here’s hoping. And thanking you so much for all your helpful tips and insights about ADHD ❤

[@sandradonald4051]

I just turned 60 and am miserable at my job. I keep changing jobs and still haven’t found my niche yet! 😢

[@desireco]

It is not too late... seriously. You deserve to be happy so whenever you get there, you will feel great.

[@user-vq3dy9jf3q]

I could not care less if i ever found my dream job as long as i am enjoying my private life😂🎉

[@MongoGamer]

i feel like sometimes so ashamed that i cant seem to keep a job they all get boring and if i stay longer they get annoying/ same goes for school i just stop doing the work. feel like im broken and hearing that you went to school and were able to choose different jobs n stuff was not helpful. i still apreciate the video and the sentiment tho

[@marshalllundberg5607]

Thank you for this. Going thru a rough patch of depression and adhd mania. This helps.

[@CarenMagill]

sorry to hear that. Glad I could help.

[@LSarah36]

Thank you for this video. It’s so relatable. I could make a full long list of all the things I wanted to be or to start 😅all the jobs I’ve left and studies I haven’t finished. Even knowing what my passion is, it’s so difficult not to get out of the track to something “new or shiny “ and at the end feeling burnt out and discourage. I will definitely write down the dots in my journal, introspection is something that has helped me a lot so thank you for the tips ❤️💕

[@CarenMagill]

My pleasure! As steve jobs says - the dots only connect in hindsight. You will figure it out.

[@supersteve2040]

Hit the nail on the head. I’m now 22 was diagnosed a few months ago with ADHD. From a young age I would always start hobbies and after a few weeks get board and quit. Football, kickboxing, twekondo, boxing, drawing, singing, KZbin, acting and always quit them. But the part of I should vs want is very true. Every time I wanted to do something I would quit but it would take me longer to quit then if I done something because I should. Great video, lot of food for thought and I think I might try and trace my steps back and see if I can notice a pattern.

[@CarenMagill]

Awesome!!! I'm so glad this provoked some introspection for you.

[@TiffanySoulbird]

Thank you very much. This comes at a very good time.

[@lisbethvandennieuwenhof153]

Thanks Karen, so good to hear this. Although I know I have ‘a good head on my shoulders’ I never seemed to get a promotion! But not being able to focus on one career path doesn’t help 😮 With the help of meditation I found what interests me most. I hope to finally make some steps forward in the near future! 0:30

[@sjl00c1]

Experimentation can actually be a sign of health. It's how we discover who we are. This vid rocks!

[@CarenMagill]

thanks!

[@missfeliss3628]

i love ur humour about ur life, its so attractive ❤

[@deannadolan5119]

Lol! Listening to you reminds me so much of myself, from the intersts to the things I pursued. We're pretty close in age so your journey inspires me to keep digging at what I really want.

[@CarenMagill]

That's good!!!

[@economics12]

thank you as i have had a similar experience in life and it makes more sense

[@CarenMagill]

I'm so glad it resonated with you!

[@donaw1]

I so understand your education history!! It’s not until I listen to you that I realize all of this is typical of ADHD. I always just thought it was a malfunction in my brain! 68 and finally getting it!

[@CarenMagill]

I wish I knew all this sooner, but better late than never!

[@TiffanySoulbird]

Oh yes it was really affirming to listen to her. I never got through college but now I understand that it wasn't my fault.

[@wild_cub_times]

I should exercise so I feel healthier and can actually become a ninja, but it really sucks most often and nobody does it with me. I mean I could be running like 5 hours, if we were playing catch the flag, but nope :D and I could stretch if it weren't hurting so much and felt exhausting... I've also had 4 different plans during the summer, but somehow I can't stick to anything... I'm just waiting for something else to start so I'd get some sense of dailyness.

[@yuk498]

Caren, don’t you feel regret? I have been feeling massive, debilitating, soul crushing regret and sense of failure for almost a decade. I haven’t managed to move forward. I am surprised at how you or other people can talk about these setbacks with such genuine joy and acceptance on your face. I am really really struck in regret and shame.

[@CarenMagill]

No, I've never been one to dwell in the past. WHat's the point? We only have a limited amount of energy and attention. Why spend it thinking about things you can't change?

[@Heyu7her3]

I didn't realize this until I was applying for grad school. I was afraid that the interviews would expose the fact that I've changed jobs a lot. I made it through the process! I also wasn't evaluated until this year. I think this has gone under the radar for so long because I'm a young Millennial and we tend to not stay in jobs as long as older generations, and because my jobs have all been in the same field (education).

[@CarenMagill]

Yay for getting into grad school! I really do think this mindset is changing. No one stays in one job for their entire career. Although I can imagine that might be different in education....

[@KavithaNarayanaswamy]

I relate to this

[@CarenMagill]

I'm glad :)

[@johnkelly720]

Hi Caren, you remind me a lot of my late sister!!!

[@CarenMagill]

Hi John! I'll take that as a huge compliment! How are you?

[@multipassionproject]

I am going through it! I feel so lost! It doesn't help when everything is an epiphany. How can we use all the things we picked up in a single life path? I don't wanna wait to find out. I want a fulfilling life now. Does anyone know what I mean?

[@CarenMagill]

I do know what you mean. But I would encourage you to think more specifically. You say you want a "fulfilling life" now. What does that mean exactly? As ADHDer's we often think divergently and very fast. For you, the question is - what is missing from your life that makes it not fulfilling? How can you live a fulfilling life now? You don't have to wait. You just need to decide and move forward.

[@yennlee6913]

Do you think I can do HR Jobs? Like interviewing applicants? I got nervous a lot but I really want to try. I just resigned my previous job for 1month because I got overwhelmed and triggered. I heard that because of my small voice the position is not for me . Also, I got disappointed with my Psychiatrist. I feel that I have adhd but she said she not convinced with it because I'm good in school. She did not even know Im troubling memorizing. I don't have any songs that I memorize.