An Open Talk About My Depression

[@andrewofaiur]

I'm a healthcare professional and one thing is clear; doctor's manage sickness, not enrich our lives. What Martina is doing is absolutely better than taking pills and staying at home. Thank you for sharing this as this will undoubtedly help thousands of people with depression

[@eatyourkimchi]

+Andrew An thanks for the positive response!

[@I_am_Lauren]

Martina: If you ever feel bad when you cry, or think that crying us unattractive, just remember that I think your eyes turn the most VIBRANT and beautiful green when you cry! So out of red, crying eyes this negative thing enhances a beautiful and positive feature about yourself!

[@annedavis3340]

Andrew An it makes me sad to see blanket statements like that. If meds help someone manage the pain and live more enriched lives, please don't judge them for that. Why should they be forced to feel all the pain they have when there is something that could give them a better quality of life? I'm homebound due to pain from my EDS. I'm hoping a wheelchair might help. But even if it doesn't, I'll still have a rich life. Just cause "taking pills and staying at home" isn't what works for Martina, please don't use her as a baseline to judge others with. I'm sure that isn't what she wanted your takeaway to be.

[@andrewofaiur]

A blanket statement would be: "Everyone would be better off if they didn't take pills" but I said "What Martina is doing..." Drugs obviously help many people but unfortunately there are downsides to medicalization and over prescription as well. I meant no offense whatsoever to people benefitting from modern medicine, but on the flipside, there are people like Martina who benefit more from finding their own coping strategy via support groups, finding one's own purpose...etc than prescription drugs. I hope you understand my comment was in reference to specifically Martina's case. I wish you the best of luck

[@GerthuyaRana]

Andrew An l

[@eatyourkimchi]

This was a very difficult video to shoot, but I felt the need to talk about this. I'm sorry if this made you sad :/

[@lommenvanhagen3340]

Just stay strong. You are beautiful and amazing❤️❤️❤️

[@jasmincampbell8208]

Simon and Martina No this is great you're a great role model you both brighten my day whenever i get that notification i'm glad you feel so comfortable with us.

[@CaKeBDA]

Simon and Martina Its fine martina. Only a min or so in and I already am relating to this.-love from a fan in bermuda who deals with depression.

[@Chellepell]

Simon and Martina this doesn't make me sad! it's an inspiring video and I think it will help many people. Thank you for making this Martina!

[@tinycandypanda]

No please. Can't even begin to imagine what you deal with, and my thoughts are with you. You are so brave, so strong, a wonderful addition to this world. AND YOUR HAIR IS FAB.

[@mhcmhco]

omg working out so that he can carry you that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard

[@yopi_yopi]

Macspleen Get yourself a partner who can do that or no one 😭💓

[@soulsearcher9530]

You're awesome for sharing this!! My husband suffers from PTSD and chronic depression and he too tried to do the worst thing but failed. (Thank you God!) after several years of pure crap (bad neighbors, being laid off, repoed car because of it, more Depression issues, etc) finally one day I said F THIS!!! And I packed up our entire house into 8 suitcases. If it didn't fit, it went to Goodwill. And I bought us one way tickets to Hawaii. We've been here on Oahu for almost 3 years now and he's actually laughing again. He is spontaneous again. "Hey! There's a farmers market at the base of the crater. Wanna go?" Heck yeah! Let's go! You're not alone. And I know it took a lot of courage to say this so publicly when you didn't have to.

[@eatyourkimchi]

+Tigerlilycoconut thank you for sharing this amazing story! That leap to Hawaii sounds epic and life changing. 😘

[@soulsearcher9530]

Thank you Martina and Simon! Things are going very well now. I've finally been able to step out of the home more because I don't have to worry about him as much. I am now finishing my degree at the university here and we hope to move to Japan next!! We lived there for several years while he was in the military, then when we left Japan the troubles started. Japan is like the last happy memories he has before things went downhill so we think we shall try to go back soon. I'll start looking for work in my area of study probably this next year. Heck, maybe I'll score a job in mainland Japan and you and I can go to that donut shop I about had a heart attack watching.🤙🏽

[@dxddypsychoe5878]

Damn you’re a beautiful woman and he’s so lucky to have someone like you❤️

[@MA-gn5nl]

Wow! Amazing story ❤️ I live in Hawaii and honestly living in Hawaii made me so much happier too :) You’re an inspiration

[@i_love_rescue_animals]

Wow! You are so brave! And such a wonderful wife as well! Really glad to hear your husband is doing better and you are finishing your degree!

[@silviemonk5556]

This wasn't a pity party, it was totally inspirational. Thanks so much.

[@jademarie2992]

Dear Simon and Martina, I want to say thank you for everything you have done, not just for me, but for millions of others. When I first started watching your videos, I was extremely depressed, as I suffered from MDD, Anxiety disorder and PMDD. I loved your videos and your happiness really rubbed off on me. I would be all alone in my bed, in the dark, feeling like crap but still had a smile on my face thanks to your videos. I had a long journey of recovery and sadly I'm still on that journey. I've tried to kill myself, I still have scars on my arms, I was placed in a psychiatric ward but on the outside, apart from very close family, nobody knew the pain I had to go through. That being said, you gave me hope that I can become an English teacher and teach in Japan. There are many days I don't want to live, but the idea of going to Japan and meeting you and seeing everything has pushed me through. It's my second semester that I'm taking Japanese, all in an attempt to be able to stay there a year. Again, I would have never had this wonderful dream if it wasn't for you two. From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you. You don't know how much you all mean to me and I can never forget the positive impact you have had and still have on me. Love you

[@eatyourkimchi]

+Jade Marie I'm so happy to hear you are building that ladder! Learning a language or having a goal to move or visit Japan is a fantastic idea! Now you get some some cute notebooks and colourful pens and start a bright study book where you aim to memorize a word a week, for example! Fill it with lots of doodles and positive thoughts about what you want to see and do! I hope to meet you in Japan a some point! Build that ladder!!

[@jademarie2992]

Thank you so much! You don't know how much your comment means to me!!

[@WaterspoutsOfTheDeep]

+Simon and Martina Martina there is a device called a I C E S machine its about 400 dollars that virtually eliminates inflammation in a local site where its used and it works very deep into tissue down to the skeleton. It was developed by NASA. Its a hand held device and its like a battery pack with cords that go to these flexible circles you place where you want the treatment and use a bandage to hold it in place. Its something you can leave on as long as you want like 12 hours all day and night if you want. Vets even use it on animals to heal broken bones and spinal injuries and so on. I think you would get ALOT of use out of this thing. Its an extremely therapeutic device not some hokey thing. www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2050601.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.H0.XICES.TRS0&_nkw=ICES&_sacat=0

[@veeru7634]

Jade Marie o

[@tyrantravealpha]

Make my good day end? NO WAY. I just got an intimate video from a person I really admire and respect. I'm glad you're amongst us Martina. You're hilarious and gorgeous and the world is a lot more lively and colorful with you around.

[@Suolakissa]

Simon saying "don't apologize, girl" gets me teary-eyed every single goddamn time, because I can just hear all the love behind those words, and the words "you're perfect the way you are and you shouldn't have to apologize for it". Love you both

[@darceeanthony5489]

Katri Salomäenpää I agree! I love to watch all their videos because the two share an amazing, healthy, supportive, “real” marriage! Wish there were more people like the two of them here in this world!!

[@0XiDiZE]

well damn this aged like milk

[@thecrystaljoy]

Martina, you are so brave for posting this. Opening up about these types of things is hard and vulnerable even if you trust someone. The fact that you opened up to the internet just shows us how much you love and trust us and *that* makes *me* cry. I feel weird being vulnerable in front of people too. I default to humor to avoid awkwardness and I don't even like my husband seeing me cry, but I can assure you that isn't anything to be embarrassed about. You may have never met most of us, but we follow you because we genuinely love you and it's ok to cry in front of people who love you. We all, myself included, needed to hear to inspirational things you had to say. People like myself look up to you so much, not only because you're a super cool unicorn of magic, but because you live your life in such an inspirational way. It might not take the pain away on the hard days, but you are so loved. P.s. I really enjoyed the internet hug. I totes needed it.

[@naicella]

You have said so many of the same things that i feel as well Crystal Joy. Thankyou for sharing this Martina.

[@hhu8288]

I agree😄😍

[@vicortiz6011]

Crystal Joy Please read "Grain Brain" by Dr. Perlmutter. our body cannot process carbs and sugars efficiently so it goes into inflammation. One of the side effects of inflammation is depression. Then I discovered keto (keto reddit for more info) and became gluten-free. My anxiety disappeared and my depression became better. Now, I would only get depressed when I have my period for a day or two and not as severe as before. My daily aches and pains also diminished. OMG, this is my 4th time typing this out...Will you be able to read this???😔😔😔😔😔😔

[@rellemesweet]

*VIRTUAL HUGS* ♥♥♥♥ (づ｡ ◕‿‿◕｡) づ(◕‿◕✿) ⊂(・ヮ・⊂) ༼♥♥♥♥

[@falisharamizbrown]

Crystal Joy your comment is my sentiments exactly!!!! Martina I would like to add this to my comment to you!!!! I love y'all!!!!

[@takeontena]

I've been laying in bed all day, depressed... And while you cautioned me not to watch this if I'm looking for something chipper, this video convinced me to get up. Thank you, Martina! Love from Ontario.

[@kahinafifi7406]

hello everyone tis videois just wonderful, all the hope that you try to spred is amazing, stay strong, it's not easy i am sure about it,it's been 5 yearn now that I am interessted about the humain been body , and all what it can cause all this deseases and illness, i ll recommend one youtube channel ( i am not sponsured, i am algerian and this men he is americain so i have no relation with him at all , i just want to share what ifound and helped me to passe through my deseas ) his name is ROBER MORSE : plus.google.com/102470875518543584025 i hope it will help you like it did with me , just one thing " stay open mind, and never say never " all the best i hope that every one will be in great shape and healthy

[@beebop1402]

I completely relate. I also have chronic pain (CRMO) and chronic depression. Right now, it's 12pm on a weekday and I'm not at school, because every time I stand or move my legs at the slightest, I get awful pain. My immune system attacks my bone for no reason so most days I can't walk. My illness is incurable because it USUALLY goes away with age. I was diagnosed when I was 8, I'm 15 now and it hasn't gone away. Martina is so inspiring to me, and I look up to her. She makes me feel like I can do whatever I am going through.

[@stinw.9226]

BeccaBear ❤️❤️❤️

[@mhayah]

BeccaBear ❤❤❤❤

[@kelseykurke8579]

BeccaBear ❤️❤️ yes!

[@tater9303]

Even though we've never met a day in our lives I love you and I'm rooting for you

[@Noradne]

BeccaBear Sorry to hear that but as you said: You can do what ever you want! You can do it and I wish you all the best

[@Recklesslime2811]

Had to rewatch this because I'm in a really bad place right now. Thank you Martina, you have no idea how much this helps me :)

[@UnicornApocalyps]

I just did the same, I'm also in a bad place, I hope you are doing better now 6 months later

[@ItsJustMars]

that orange story made me cry because I suffer from chronic pain and say no to everything. I stopped leaving my house for years. this video put my life into perspective. thanks for sharing. Simon thanks for being an awesome human being and marina's support system.

[@UsagiYusura]

Its Just Mars Big hug!

[@lostinmyheadx3671]

Its Just Mars you go girl!

[@T3hD4rkKn1ght]

Its Just Mars I did the same thing for years and my crisis was purely existential. I can't really imagine what it's like to have physical pain on top of that. Just know that there's hope, and people like us that know what the bottom looks like have the gift recognizing how never to go back there. Much love.

[@TheGlassJubilee]

Omg I was tearing up the whole time but when Simon came into frame and hugged Martina and said "Don't apologize, girl. I'll always take care of you, girl" I started blubbering so hard.

[@PN-sk3ve]

OMG... and here I thought that I was the only one, I feel so sorry for people who have to deal with this situation day in and day out 24/7. ='(

[@river1Nparadise]

I've seen so many destructive relationships that I almost don't believe in love and marriages, but seeing the both of you restores my faith. You guys are my definition of true love and I wish all the happiness and health to the both of you. Thank you so much for putting a smile to our faces when everyday is a struggle for you. Your strength gives us strength and from the bottom of my heart, thank you Simon and Martina.

[@artsy__heart7972]

Khalilah Abdul Rahman I couldn't have said it any better.

[@OneAngryAsian]

I'm trying hard to be a Simon

[@gettingfatfitter9952]

We appreciate the fact that you are trying at all! :)

[@xyinterrupted]

[@1SarahBeth]

The fact that you're trying is all your partner would ever ask for. We who suffer from chronic pain know that we're not always great company, and the fact that you are willing to do all you can to be there is more than enough.

[@bkgw8287]

This didnt age well

[@OneAngryAsian]

@@bkgw8287 You are 100% right, it didn't. But things change, so I'm trying hard to be a better me.

[@itssunnyp]

I love you Martina! you're an inspiration I'm crying and I'm a 23 year old dude. I went through the same thing due to bullying and attempted suicide. I'm so glad I'm still alive because I ended up being school captain, graduated with honors and now going on to study medicine. I strive for this because I want to help others and hopefully others who are suffering the same condition as yourself ❤❤

[@Happylilsushi]

You sound awesome ! Way to turn that horrible experience around into something life changing

[@BANAplus]

It's great to hear that you've come so far from your dark times! As a 4th yr med student, medicine is going to be tough journey and there may be times you face difficulty again, but keep that motivation and drive and you'll get through it all! Congratulations and enjoy the ride!

[@GakkedOutStrategy]

It's so great that you're so vocal about these things because your advice and outlook on life are so valuable! I hope millions of people that need to hear this watch this video. Proud of you (and Simon) for being so strong. Looove you guys!

[@GakkedOutStrategy]

Raj Jb I feel like this video isn't the place for negativity.

[@цветок-ш7п]

Yewdytube love ya dude well done for never giving up!

[@skippykipper101]

I wouldn't say I felt sadness after watching this. Honestly, I felt inspiration and love. So much love, especially after seeing that moment at the end between you and Simon. I love the ladder concept. I don't have chronic depression, so I can't empathize in the same way that others in the comments may, but this still helped me just in life. When I do have those moments where I can't take the stress and demands of life, I'll think about the ladder and how I can add a step to pull myself out of whatever difficult situation. And Simon - you are continuing to inspire me on how to be a loving and caring partner. I'm getting married soon, so your contribution to this video also helped me a lot.

[@saracabitza4503]

[@onlytheflowerknow]

skippykipper101 omg skippy ur getting married? :o congrats!

[@skippykipper101]

Asli Rubin Aww thank you!

[@pashe01]

This isn't a pity party. It's a healing. Cry as much as you want.

[@catrina3909]

pashe01 that is so true

[@chantalvautour4659]

To someone that suffers from chronic depression, this was not a sad video. It was relatable, and uplifting. Your depression and chronic pain does not define who you are. It’s just a side note of you. Keep doing you. You guys are awesome!

[@bluBlaq33]

As someone who doesn't have chronic pain but severe depression, this was incredibly positive and inspiring and makes me want to get out and invest in more positive experiences

[@eatyourkimchi]

Thank you so much to Mateo Arbelaez Patiño and Fleur Wolters for the English subtitles, as well as Piticule Pufuleți for the French subtitles, and normina125 for the Hebrew subtitles. Thank you! I'm sure it wasn't fun to caption this, but I really appreciate it :D

[@stephaniericardez158]

Simon and Martina you go girl you have inspired me so much

[@elizabethlittle1291]

Hi Martina, my name is Sarah i want so shocked when i read the title of the video ,and when i cliked on it and watch it I started crying as the same time you started crying...... relating to a little bit of what you're going through and i was wondering if you could if you could let me use your story four comic I'm writing / drawing. seeing you and videos motivated me to be happy ,you releasing this video motivated me to talk to you and reach out and do something that I've always wanted to do which was drawing a comic .I just wasn't inspired enough until it was a video.before that I kind of had forgotten that you how much your going through this video remind me that you're a real person and I want you to and your story to be the the story I tell an artistic form. I would much prefer to email you. I don't know if I'm not looking hard enough or I can't find ya'll email. PS I responded to this, because I thought there's a higher chance of you responding to it. thank you - Sarah here's my email please contact me if you're okay with me using your story [e-mail]

[@vicortiz6011]

Simon and Martina Please read "Grain Brain" by Dr. Perlmutter. Our body cannot process carbs and sugars efficiently, and our body reacts by being in inflammation. When I tried to go on a Keto diet (keto reddit) and became gluten-free, my anxiety disappeared and my depression lessened. Now, I would only get depressed for a day or two when I have my period. It also lessened the daily aches and pains that i used to have...This is my third time posting this because I really want you to see my message and help you get better 😔😔😔

[@mousers21]

If you feel like you're neglecting your youtube audience, you should supplement videos with live shows. I'd watch. Maybe Periscope or facebooklive would be easier. It might also help you with your depression. I miss the reliable content no matter if it isn't a planned video or random live chat.

[@deniseinpeace1170]

do s self care exercise daily like a face mask or painting your nails i would do a major item once a month like hair visit to a salondepends onur budget but if you find a beauty school u get discounted prices and the service is usually pretty good

[@Taylor_R]

Thank you so much for this video and speaking out on this topic. It really touched my heart❤ you're so wise and inspirational, can't wait to see all the things you accomplish in your life on this channel 😊

[@ddrz09]

What Taytay said

[@Rikuphi]

Awww Tay!

[@AnnaRvlogs]

Both of you ladies are inspirational to others and its hard to go through things like that

[@aquariuslocs7208]

This video saved my life. Literally, thank you for sharing. One of my biggest models in life now is "if you're bold enough to end all, then you're bold enough live however you please". Thank you Martina you saved hundreds possible millions with this one video. ☺️ Stay strong girl. Also thank you Simon for being that beautiful rock that you are ❤️. You show me that I can be loved despite my pain. You both give me hope.

[@jennteal5265]

I also unsuccessfully tried to end my life a year and a half ago after a lifetime of struggling with clinical major depression (I'm 35). After this, I did the same thing. I had always wanted to dye my hair crazy colors and piercing my nose... so I did it. It's a bit silly to be in y mid-30s and being cat obsessed and colorful and silly...but it has brought so many small joys in my life and I just focus on each small joy, rather than all the small pains. So I contract like a shrimp and feet/hands curl...I can still laugh at the absurdity of it all. Love you and thanks for sharing

[@MsMelonhat]

it doesn't matter what others say, do the things you are happy with! live your life to the fullest

[@WalkingWoman-k7x]

Jenn Teal living in peace and unapologetically isnt silly is spectacular! And sexy☺️

[@ParamoreLoveROCK97]

Jenn Teal Happiness has no age! Do what makes you happy and be proud. Have a good day! Btw.

[@fantasyk87]

I don't think it's silly at all, little things are very very important. Keep up

[@criptonite0hour]

can we get a video with Simon talking honestly about being in the role of a caregiver? Huge respect to Simon for being there and understanding. Being in that role can be so stressful and support is sometimes minimal. GO SIMON! You rock!

[@kiibaba]

I love how she's not so dramatic and negative like other youtubers on this topic, she tell us how she finds the Anwsers to all the pain she's going through. I respect her a lot! Much love, keep making amazing video's. I love you.

[@annas7847]

Some people simply haven't found the answers, and that's fine, too. Not everything in life can be all "happy-happy sunshine rainbows" and not every story can be told in an up-beat and/or "positive" manner. We should stop invalidating other people's experiences because we don't deem them "happy". From famous people who have talked about it recently, Pewdiepie has touched upon his own experience and started a bigger conversation upon the social concept of "happiness" being deemed socially superior across KZbinrs the other day. It's good for a starting point, watch it, if you still haven't seen it. (BTW, I 'm not his fan nor do I agree with his stance on the recent Fiverr drama, but that doesn't make his "happiness" video any less good or valid, or not right for him to have started a conversation about it.)

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

The problem I have with some other videos is that many other suffering with depression or mental health issues will watch, some may get the wrong idea & think that staying in the bottom of the pit is inevitable. It is good to open up about suffering & let people see what struggles you go through but they also need to acknowledge that no-one is completely helpless, you can all do something to improve your situation, even a tiny thing like watching a youtube video you like. It is unrealistic to think that everyone is happy 100% of the time, and social media has contributed to this false sense of reality, but everyone deserves to be as happy as they can be. When you are in the depths of depression is is also hard to see the clear picture, to acknowledge the positives, so may give a more bleak report than is true. Obviously everyone is affected differently & for some their mental health problem it is acute & other chronic but people need to benefit from not just hearing the worst case scenarios. Hope can make a huge difference & help motivate people to get better, that is one of the reasons I think this video is so good & helpful.

[@SpiderxPunk]

Martina, I hope you get the chance to even just glance at this. But as someone But I've struggled with depression my entire life. And I am not even that old. Early 20s. But a few years back, in my VERY early teens, my depression nearly got the best of me as well. Tried and failed. I spent about two months in a hospital for psychiatric evaluation. But everything we discussed is nothing compared to what you've said in this video. "Be sure to talk it out next time you feel depressed," and junk like that. But there is just so much more that goes into depression. Things you don't want to talk about. Things that you can't. It was basically the run around, talk about it and you'll feel better. And what I love most about this video is the fact that you go into - how to move past depression. Even if it's just something small, that will lead into something larger and so on. I'm sure no one's interested in my ramblings so I will end this here. I watch your videos when I am feeling down. Not TOO down, because I feel I may not be able to enjoy them, but still. Knowing this, seeing this, I feel so close to you. (Not in a creepy way.) But in the sense; Hey. This marvelous person, who makes several people laugh, and happy, DESPITE HER PAIN, knows what it's like to struggle with depression. Knows what it's like to be on the brink, and come back. So - You and Simon. You're both simply amazing, and it makes me so happy to see you going out on a limb to share this, to try and help people. And I hope it does. I sincerely do. If you've read this; Thanks for doing so. And thanks for making this video.

[@emilyebinger4559]

J Olson There is always someone interested in your ramblings. Thank you for sharing!

[@bunnyday1473]

hugs :D

[@anamoreira6882]

I'm rewatching this for the 3rd time and it still hits me like a ton of bricks. It's still hard as hell, somedays I'm a little bit more up but the Black Sun (I don't like the sun and warm weather) it's still there specially with epilepsy and taking meds it just takes me down a lot. People think that being a bit up that means your cured but it's not true. And it hurts, I didn't try to off myself because I'm a weakling and I would break my parents heart which would make it more of a burden. So I bake to make me distracted.Sorry for rambling, thank you for your statement. #buildaladder

[@rabbiruka]

thank you for existing martina, thank you.

[@zombiebunnyposse4273]

I'm a "partially disabled" veteran. I jacked up my legs being Airborne. I'm in constant pain and see a pain management specialist. I started watching your videos a little over a year ago. Honestly, I would turn them on when I got home from work, (usually midnight) and washed the dishes from the morning. I fell in love with the infectious joy and love which both you and Simon share. Now I subscribe to all your KZbin channels actively seeking content, (I'm partial to food and game segments). I too have shitty days where the throbbing aches and pains are...I have moments where I breakdown as well 😢. While your pain is yours to learn to live with, please sincerely know that you and Simon help me forget about mine. Much gratitude to you for so many things, but regarding this video, your honesty. The saying, "Pain is weakness leaving the body" takes on a whole different meaning when your living with it daily. Stay strong and be well.

[@kailovesfreedom]

ZombieBunnyPosse I send you my best wishes and positive energy ★✩★✩★✩★

[@eatyourkimchi]

Ah shit. I just took a shower and got ready, and then I read this comment and now I'm all teary eyed. I'm glad we can help out on your tough days, and I hope we can continue to help you forget about your pain, whenever you need it :D

[@GildedCurls]

This video is SO important and WILL save lives. Thank you for your candor and kindness Martina. You're a hero.

[@pochamo03]

Martina I just discovered this video today and I want to say thank you so much because I needed it! I was just diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer back in May 2017 I'm a single mother of two beautiful children and I also suffer depression and what you said really helps a lot because I know I'm not the only one. Even though our chronic pain and situations are different we share a common battle that requires us to get out of ourselves to move forward so thank you I enjoy your videos they are therapy for me.

[@MyKoreanHusband]

Talking about it as a ladder is one of the best ways to describe it. I remember being in that dark deep pit and slowly taking steps to get out of it. I remember my psychologist challenging me to not let my life be defined by my illness because I was always saying "I can't do this because of my illness" and she was like "but what if you tried?" Like you said, there is always a payoff in physical pain, but now I'm collecting all these experiences. I live in Korea, I'm married to a wonderful man, I trained as a zookeeper, I did volunteer work in Borneo, I now make money from making comics and videos and have a pretty amazing life. If my psychologist had never challenged me like that it's possible I could still be living at home with my parents and being miserable and never trying anything. Even on the hardest days I'm so happy where my life has ended up.

[@oddlyozel]

MyKoreanHusband what's your comic? I love comics :0

[@MyKoreanHusband]

I have 2 series, one is real life situations with my husband and the other is a fictional webtoon series on WEBTOONS platform called Nicholalala. The My Korean Husband comics can be found on our blog and on our social media (just google My Korean Husband) and the webtoon can be found on WEBTOONS site or app in the Slice of Life section, or there are links on the blog :)

[@Evanandrachel]

[@Dorisv]

Don't ever apologize for being emotional or crying. I like how cheerful and optimistic you are. But I know that comes with effort. Depression and chronic pain generally go hand in hand. So it isn't a huge leap to guess that you have struggled. I am glad that you can be so candid about it. Because I'm sure that you are a lot of people's reason to carry on and not only get through the day, but to make it a great one. You are inspiring. Your drive, your passion for life and food, and the love you inspire in others is part of your legacy. I will remain a loyal subscriber whether you put out one video a week, or one a year. I'm happy to bear witness to your journey. Big hugs to you and Simon. I love how you both take such good care of each other, and laugh together. The world needs more of that.

[@don0nami788]

Wao! You...madam...you are words are full of empathy and that is powerful. You are a beatiful human!!

[@larsstoerloes6619]

Thank you so much, Martina. For being open not just about your EDS but also about your depression. Sadly there is still a stigma surrounding mental illness, and the only way those of us suffering from it can break down that toxic wall of stigma is by talking about it and informing those who do not suffer from it. That can be hard, and painful. But if you and me, and her and him and them keep being open about it and just clawing at that wall untill our nails break and our arms give out we WILL break through it some day. I do not suffer from a physical malady like EDS, but I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and chronic high-level depression since I was about twelve years old (I am now 27). And what slightly turned it around for me as well was my first suicide attempt at age 19. I realized that even though I was getting treatment from doctors and psychiatrists I was still miserable and very lonely because my illness was just something that was washed over in my family and circle of friends. No one wanted to talk about it. They all knew, they just looked at it like "Well, the doctors are taking care of that, so let's just leave it alone" which made me feel incredibly lonely. It's one thing to talk to a professional once or twice a week and take your meds, but when it's three days until your next appointment and you are suffering all you really want is someone to talk to. Doesn't need to be a professional. Just someone who knows you and who will listen to what you have to say. So I just started a war on the "ignore the illness, the doctors are handling it" thing and started just talking to friends and family even though they didn't ask to hear it. I also started being open with strangers about it if it somehow came up in conversations. Then I started writing a small blog about mental illness and what it is actually like to suffer from it. And before I managed to publish four posts I was called and offered a book-deal which I am happy to say I am almost done with. Sadly my book will be in Norwegian at first, but if I'm lucky and someone wants to translate it into English, I will happily send you a copy. Sorry for the long comment, I just had a lot to say. Anyways - Thanks, Martina. Stay strong. Stay fabulous. Stay YOU.

[@haluboice92]

Your video inspired me so i had to translate it to arabic. I hope all your arab subscribers get understand what you're saying and help those who have Depression

[@colino9mam]

شكراً

[@haluboice92]

العفو

[@مشاعلعبدالله-ت9ش]

شكرا

[@abandoningomelas]

You don't have to be ultra strong or a super genius or save puppies from burning buildings to be brave. You just have to keep going when it seems like all is lost. Because that's the real definition of courage. If you can go on when you're scared out of your mind or at your body's limits or with your demons on your back weighing you down, you have done something truly brave, even if you sometimes still feel small. I think that makes you a hero, Martina. I think a lot of people here would agree. There might be a deep dark hole beneath but you keep climbing anyway, and that makes me feel like I can too. Thank you.

[@MinjiLindsey]

"You have to become a mountain." That was by far my favorite thing you said. You and Simon should write a book, with that concept somehow. Like, 'She asked me to become a mountain, so that I could lift her up and she could see the world. So I became that mountain, and I saw what she saw." Good job, kid. Keep trying.

[@viyernooi2557]

Hello Martina, I've been a fan of you and Simon for years now, I watched all your videos but I never commented because I was too shy >< but after seeing this I felt like I wanted to give you the warmest hug and bake you cookies and thank you for all the times your videos have made me laugh when I was crying, gave me hope when I didn't see any and made me hungry at 2am in the morning. You're the best ! Lots of love, V.

[@eatyourkimchi]

Thank you for the warm hug and the lovely cookies!! :) 🍪

[@ziggystardust6418]

Simon and Martina I have suffered from depression too, I would like Martina to get better. I know Martina is a strong lady. Simon and Martina fighting!!!! ( this is the first time I used this expression I always try to avoid it ) GET WELL SOON MARTINA YOU CHAMP

[@nessiesy3241]

breaks my heart to see her cry

[@rebel_at_stagnation]

You basically figured out cognitive behavioral therapy on your own. Takes an incredible amount of wisdom and will power. That is incredible and you should be proud. Wishing you strength and resilience. And much respect for Simon.

[@Fruitypebbles489]

There is nothing to be embarrassed about crying. Millions of people suffer from depression including me. Crying just shows you are a strong and brave human with emotions. And it shouldn't be a "pity party" because there is nothing to pity about. People should emphasize or sympathize not pity.

[@loc5559]

I started crying when Martina did. I've been battling depression since I was 11 and when I was 20 I attempted suicide. These videos have kept me going throughout the years. I'm so inspired by you Martina. Thank you for everything you have given me.

[@LeannYa]

big hug Lily!

[@loc5559]

Leann Lev Aw, thank you!

[@SeeKaysee]

Lily, I'm sending you virtual hugs from my end of the screen!

[@kajitani13]

Lily O i really hope you can get suitable treatment for you and get out of that loop soon, it must been very hard for you. *virtual hugs*

[@loc5559]

***** Thank you :)

[@tylergoodridge7782]

This is honestly THE best youtube video i have ever watched, and i have watched thousands... The way you spoke about the depression just made so much sense to me and put it in a light that i had never thought of it before. I suffer from major depression and i'm currently in that 'pit'. But this video has honestly inspired me so much, which i know is so cringy and cheesy, but i have never said anything else has inspired me before and this video truly has. Thank you.

[@eatyourkimchi]

+Tyley Goodridge I'm really happy to hear that. :) #buildaladder

[@GeorgiaGeorgette]

I have EDS too. Although it is something sufferers are born with, mine did not manifest itself until I was in my twenties, so I have had to transition from the bright light I was to the shadow I have become. I am classed as housebound at best, bedbound at worst. I rarely leave my room and barely leave my home. I go out only a few times a year in order to attend healthcare appointments. This video has given me hope. Through your strength, you have helped me find my own. Your honesty is vital, not only for yourself, but for all of us with this condition. It is said that tigers have to earn their stripes, but I know that every one on us zebras is a badge of courage. On behalf of us all, thank you, Martina ❤️️

[@GeorgiaGeorgette]

I want to say that today I did housework for the first time in about a year. I don't think it was a coincidence that I was able to do it the day after seeing this video. It motivated me to work through the pain instead of avoiding it. Yes, doing chores may not rank high in life experiences, but it does in achievements. I also showed the video to my Mum, and it made my situation easier for her to understand. It was like you spoke the words I couldn't find on my behalf. You helped us, Martina. More than I can say ❤

[@greentness]

NotMostGirls Each little action takes courage. Keep adding ladder rungs! Wishing you the best 💕 #buildthatladder

[@GeorgiaGeorgette]

Thank you so much, bless you. All the best to you 💞

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

I am glad this video helped you, hopefully you can work on building more rungs on the ladder & be able to live & enjoy life more :)

[@GeorgiaGeorgette]

Sammy Ariel, thank you very much 😊

[@InternetFad]

I've been suffering from depression for 14 years. I'm 24 right now...I've been considering suicide for weeks. Hearing you talk so openly about this was honestly something I needed more than I knew. Thank you, Martina. This video is going to contribute to saving lives.

[@marinab548]

InternetFad Hang in there hun xx

[@mandanam.m.1745]

Yes, this one of the most positive things about social media. People can share their negative experience with a broad audience which will be a ray of light to many who're stuck in a black hole...

[@InternetFad]

I'm actually going outside now to tame a walk because this inspired me. I haven't left my house in weeks. seriously glad i clicked this

[@zlioness]

InternetFad Please realize you matter to someone and they would miss you with their entire body, soul and heart. My friend attempted suicide last year. She says after she recovered, she is glad it wasn't successful, because she would have missed out on some great experiences. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

[@Sisley96]

InternetFad keep fighting, there is alot of people around you that cares and loves you. don't give up.

[@cleodello]

This might seem dark to some people, but to me this is incredibly motivational. I've dealt with depression/anxiety for over a decade now and it has really affected every aspect of my life.. From school, to work, to relationships. And I honestly often feel massive amounts of shame and embarassment. Oftentimes people tend to sugarcoat situations with slogans like, "It gets better!" and it honestly just adds fuel to the shame spiral. So to hear someone I've looked up to for years come forward and basically say, "Do shit anyway."... Is really inspiring. Even if nothing gets better, even if things get worse... Do shit anyway. I'm going to try, I'm going to try.

[@tylerredding75]

I totally understand that Cleodel. My friends are all happy, and I've broken down in front of them. It was me kind of opening up to them about everything. They all told me to focus on the positive. Sometimes I can't. The "negative" or whatever they say is my reality. There are parts of my life that are really shitty and that I just can't look past. I now have to fake and act happy because that's what people expect. It creates a feeling of isolation. This loneliness is eating me alive. I like what you took away from the video. Thank you for sharing that "do shit anyway" I'm going to take that to heart and keep pushing on.

[@Emmiiii267]

Cleodel im going trough the same thing i have severe Anxiety which leads to bad panic attacks. i also have depression which led me to.not be able to attend college...i really want my life back because i know this is hurting my family i live with it also. i found your comment inspirational because im the same..i hope we both get better soon and were able to do the things we enjoy again !

[@angela9555]

this is exactly what i wanted to say lol thanks for verbalizing my feels

[@AthenaSaints]

Not cheerful, but this is very motivational.

[@EvelynGuerra20]

Thats exactly how I feel about this video. To see someone sharing the reality of the problem is way more motivational than saying "it gets better". I try to go out even if I feel down, I try to do my shit even if I dont want to. Because at the end of the day, even if I dont do anything, I would still feel down.

[@SethInNYC]

This should be a TEDtalk 💖❤️💖

[@punxie8982]

I have EDS too, the hyper mobility type 3 (off the top of my head, there's 12 types lol), and I have had periods in my life where my pain was so bad that I was crying and couldn't even sit down on the toilet to go pee, and it was horrible. I was 23, and no one that I knew my age could relate. Sometimes I have similar thoughts. EDS is genetic mutation I guess, and there's no cure since it's in the DNA of our bodies. My whole family has it on my dad's side, and there have been days where I've felt depressed about it. Like you said, I won't get better, I'll most likely get worse. I feel pain every day, but I'm one of the luckier ones and it's manageable most of the time. I'm sad to hear that your depression was that bad (I cried lol). I'm really glad that you failed and that you're still here, and that you decided to dye your hair rainbow and get tattoos and go to Japan etc. I totally agree with your standpoint. We're going to have pain regardless of what else happens in our lives. Either be in pain stuck at home or be in pain having tons of fun and learning about the world etc!!

[@growingb11]

punxie89 I'm sure I have a minor form of EDS but not to the degree of pain. I'm just really flexible, to the point that I can pop most of my joints without pain. Clearly its much worse for women like you and Martina. Anyways, stay strong and know that your not alone.

[@Rikuphi]

A man like Simon is so rare... I'm happy she found someone like him.

[@angabee]

long time watcher. I have been watching since before I was diagnosed with EDS. when i found out i felt 2 things. SO FREAKIN' happy, because i finally knew what the heck was going on... and ABSOLUTE doom. i felt so alone. and then YEARS later you made a video about your condition. i didn't feel alone anymore. I had already created a bond with you from watching your videos from before, so finding out you also had EDS was just a HUGE shock. it's nice so have someone else just as sassy as me have a similar outlook about their pain. i'm sick of doctors telling me to just lay there and wait to die. I have a pain therapist, and if you don't mind i'm going to show her this video. you say what i have been feeling. The words are hard to put together. so thank you for doing what i could not.

[@ScoscobabyOGO]

I have sickle cell anemia and these past few years have been getting harder and harder for me to deal with my pain while in school. I really want to say thank you for making this video because you have encouraged me not to give up. For the longest time I felt that I was unable to do what I want in life but I will keep trying to reach my goals I just have to take it one day at a time.

[@P_steez]

Simon was put into your life for a reason, a truly, truly incredible person

[@P_steez]

And I was waiting for Simon to come into the video and comfort you, and of course he did❤️

[@JCXP123]

Parker God Martina was also put into his life for a reason :) Martina was the person who pulled him out of his shell :) They're both meant for each other ♡♡

[@nastassjahall9111]

hey Martina, I have even following you guys for like 4 or 5 years and ironically I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he was addressing my depression. ...I don't know what it's like to be in pain all the time but I do know what it's like to attempt to take ur life because of depression. ...I suffer from chronic depression as well.....when I saw u cry. ..I started crying. .. u have been what's gotten me through a lot of my low moments... I now see that u are human as well...u and Simon have made me laugh and escape from sadness during my moments of disparity in my depression. ....I wish u didn't have to feel such pain......and I am inspired by your courage and selflessness. ....u have masked majority of ur pain from the camera and put on a brave face for everyone. .....and I'm very happy to see such a wonderful companion like Simon take such good care of u .... my boyfriend is a sweetheart too....try not to be too sad love because u have brought so much happiness to so many lives. ....truly.... I watch you guys so much I feel like we're bffs...lol.....I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty because I definitely needed to hear this....you and Simon are amazing individuals. ... I hope to meet u one day... if not I pray for your comfort and less pain days... but keep doing you girl! you're doing and amazing job!....thank u... ♡, your loyal subscriber Nastassja :)

[@eatyourkimchi]

+Nastassjs Hall thank you for your wonderful comment. Please remember that you're not alone, people all around the world, including me, are feeling different types of pain. I hope that this confession of mine will help you to build your own ladder, it will be slow but one day you'll look down and realize how far away you are from your depression. Get started!! Lots of hugs!

[@nastassjahall9111]

Simon and Martina holy crap u responded to me....!!!!! omg.... this is the best day EVER!!!..SEE THERE U GO AGAIN MAKING PEOPLE HAPPY.....LOL♡

[@squeakz7329]

Nastassjs Hall This comment is amazing and you put how I feel to wards Simon & Martina in better words then I could of. ☺❤✨

[@nastassjahall9111]

Squeakz 73 wow... I just spoke from the heart. ... I really appreciate your kind words.... :) if u 3rd need someone to talk to u can hit me up :) I see now that we all need to comfort each other. ...expressing how I felt made me feel a lot better.....

[@D.G.00000]

As someone with EDS and depression, I cried when you cried. There's not enough words to explain, but in that minute, I felt like we understood each other a lot. *hugs* Love you Martina 💖

[@D.G.00000]

Also, Simon, it means so much what you're doing.. You're really amazing.

[@kiminopeters3859]

I totally identify with you, Martina! I'm 29 and have Arthritis since my 5... I don't know what is a day without a single pain... Everytime I go out shopping or go to a restaurant or whatever, I will be in bed for the next 3 days, full of pain, in diappers, and my mom have to give me food in the mouth... Sometimes I refuse to go out just to not have that much pain! Everytime someone asks me out I ask to myself if it worth the pain... Thanks for sharing your pain... it made me much more related to you! I also love Japan and everything about it! I wish I would be able to go there.... I would be sooooo happy... Keep looking up!!! Don't give up! 😘

[@samuelwong6448]

Kimino Peters don’t give up, i hope your arthritis goes away and the pain goes away 🙏🏻❤️

[@brittneymichelle4726]

Martina im 16 and I've recently been diagnosed with eds as well. It's been really hard and I've been really close to getting to the bottom of the pit, but you just gave me so much hope. I was thinking the same thing that if I'm going to be in pain anyways, I minus well just go and have fun and not let my pain and depression limit me. Thank you for making this video it has inspired me so much!

[@aisyaharshad7120]

Brittney Michelle you & Martina are strong people at heart. I know that you will be able to endure it. =) ♡♡♡

[@brittneymichelle4726]

Aisyah Arshad thank you so much your comment helps me stay strong!!

[@thesiiiiickest]

Simon has been working out to be able to pick Martina up on her bad days CRYING SO MUCH CRYING

[@slutforsana]

This really is true love ♥

[@verolfam4350]

i got teary eyed when he comforted you. we need a lot more simons in this world

[@UltimateFashionist]

Um, she asked for him to comfort her.. Isn't that something any boyfriend/girlfriend would do? Nothing special about it.

[@verolfam4350]

UltimateFashionist I know a lot of people who have a significant other, who dont do stuff like that even if it is asked by them. not everyone has a great realtionship. he shows he cares enough to comfort her when she needs it

[@talyajoy2622]

Same. I want one.

[@tb4954]

Remember that marriage video of Simon telling you how awesome you are and you were all bashful and modest and didn’t accept his compliments? You need to believe it because he is 100% correct. I know that without ever having met you. It shows in everything you do Martina. I am so glad you have found a way to build your ladder, because now it is helping me and so many others to build theirs. I can’t tell you how utterly thankful I am for this whole channel and for this video in particular. You should have more sit down talks like this. You have a great mind and your relationship and way of life sets SUCH a strong example for my husband and I. I needed this. I hope you realize how many people need this and how special that makes you. I am so glad to see you here today still making videos. I have been watching for about three years. Just. I love you Martina. I love you Simon.

[@Bahnzye]

Thank you for sharing your pain, and depression story, Martina. Depression is a thief. It steals time, happiness and color right out of our world. For those of us who would rather show a smiling face, and not be burdens on our loved ones it can also be a seducer. It will subvert our love for our friends and family into self destructive behavior that we can quickly justify. You are a shining example of how to overcome those moments. I wish that this didn't hit so close to home for me, but it does. Though I have never seriously considered ending it all, I have had moments that I thought darkly of my existence. Keep doing what you're doing, girl! You spread sunshine and happiness and unicorn rainbows...even when your feeling like shadows and inky glass shards would be more accurate. That is some hero level sh!#.

[@despairia]

_"Depression is a thief. It steals time, happiness and color right out of our world."_ Very true.

[@harperwyatt6]

this is 100% true. thank you for putting it into words

[@4evarwithU]

Martina. It's OK to cry in your videos, I feel a bit more closer to you than ever when I know you had this side to you. Please know that, I really admire your physical and mental strength for going through all of that insufferable pain. I look up to your strength and I'll make sure to remember you in my darkest days as my symbol of resistance. Thank you for being such an inspiration.

[@Stryder01]

Hey Martina, Thank you for your video. It really hit home because my girlfriend was nearly in the same position where she was considering to take her life as well and when she told me I was so shocked and didn't know what to do but as I calmed down I knew I had to do everything to help her in every way and similar to you, I tried to use comedy/jokes to keep her mind off of sad things while listening/taking to her seriously when she wanted a serious talk. Nowadays she has been a lot more active and happier but her depression does creep up once in a while but I feel better equipped to help her now. So saying this, I know Simon is a very strong person (physically and mentally) and I'm glad you found him to be your support as you are to him. I would love to hear his side of the experience as well.

[@eatyourkimchi]

+Stryder01 my side of the experience is too long to talk about in a comment. Long story short, I've found the most inspiring person I've ever met, and I'll do everything I can to keep her going.

[@charlotteweever4936]

Simon and Martina you guys are inspiring together! ☺️

[@MissMysteriousVee]

Awe yeeeeeah Simon, you go bro!

[@itsmeevelyn]

They're both building a ladder tgt

[@lochan8180]

Nice one, Simon!

[@ozzy1267]

Re-watching this video 3 years later, Was working at a dead end job I HATED with a passion, alongside untreated chronic depression (Non-EDS related) With this video and counselling I was inspired to quit my job and make a leap. Now in my 3rd year of Osteopathy school and managing my depression well. In fact, I was so inspired by this video and other similar videos you've made, I am now currently doing my final year dissertation on "how Osteopathy can help with the management in Ehlers-Danlos syndromes" and looking to work with Dr Janet Deane and Jane Simonds two top EDS specialists from the University College of London and The Imperial College of London. Came back to remember why I went down this path and get re-inspired. None of this would of happened if not for this video, Just want to say a HUGE thank you and #build-a-ladder

[@sarahlittleton7280]

Their relationship is so beautiful and inspiring

[@stryderfisher4106]

*big gentle hugs to Martina* *big thank you's to Simon for being the sort of partner every one of us wants* I also have a chronic illness and suffer from depression that has bad days because of the pain. The sheath that keeps the individual fibers of muscles bound together in my body doesn't work right because of a gene deletion (Merosin's Muscular Dystrophy). So I look like I could kick box with the Hulk and I can barely walk. I found a lot that I could relate to in your video today Martina. My diagnosis is also incurable, and progressive. I've also had a suicide attempt that was almost successful. I've outlived several life expectancies and have watched friends die. I think that was my turning point, when I started to not want to wallow at the bottom anymore. I acknowledged that I didn't have any time. None at all. I have to live now, because I was supposed to die at 16 and I've just recently turned 36. I know 37 is no more promised to me than the last twenty years have been. Three years ago, my last husband almost managed to use my illness to end my life. (Medical neglect/abuse.) I hit that bottom again. You and Simon saved me, you saved my life. I'm back in college with a dedication to becoming an EFL teacher that sometimes causes me to burst into tears in class. I'm here because when I hit that bottom again and didn't know where I was going, you had all these videos, where you were honest about life overseas and then I watched your EDS video and realized that if you could be that brave, then I could too. Sorry for babbling. I don't comment often, but I'm a huge devotee, because Martina you are 'my' Idol.

[@tinafinchum4099]

Stryder Fisher

[@cloudyangelx]

good luck in everything you do. Remember, never ever ever give up. You are so much more than what you have achieved so far, there's so much more things for you to experience out there. all the best!!

[@catrina3909]

Anabelle Chan thank you for that lovely comment you sent to her it reminded me of something that i dont tell myself often

[@iliaskatsifis4344]

First time I comment on a youtube video, but I feel I need to express my opinion publicly. Your open talk was truly inspiring and ,yet, very realistic. Instead of focusing on the many hardships of chronic depression you decided to emphasise the importance of fighting back which takes a lot of strength to do. Martina you are a truly amazing person!

[@eileeng2715]

I'm at the happiest I've ever been! I've built a ladder and you planted that seed in my life Martina. I've had depression and anxiety for the last 6 years and I've constantly built walls and boundaries for myself that only worsen my depression and anxiety. I've changed so much for the better in the last month. I've broken down many of the walls I built and I've created the best memories of my life! Thank you

[@unknown8805]

Ok, I cried throughout this whole video, but when Simon came in I SOBBED. I wish I could offer encouraging advice or some life wisdom from my 30 years of experience, but all I can say is thank you for being so brave, Martina. Not just your bravery for making this video, but your bravery to pull yourself out of the black hole and making videos with your beautiful personality that bring so much joy to myself and others. Your face, your enthusiasm, your LIFE makes my life better. The fact that you're alive changed so many other lives in this world. There will always be days where you will feel like giving up. But my hope is that on those days, you remember comments like ours. Because you living your life has helped me live my life, too.

[@unknown8805]

Also, reading all these comments has really helped my faith in humanity. Commenters, I love you all! What wonderful people you all are! 💜💜💜

[@fruitbythebecbec7165]

Martina, I'm so glad you're still here. You've made me, all your fans, all your friends, your family, and especially Simon so incredibly happy. Thank you.

[@TRXKPOP]

This is hands down the most selfless and honest depression video I have seen on youtube. The fact that it doesn't start with 'I feel like I have to get this off my chest" or "It's been playing on my mind" so and so forth, makes me appreciate you 292208 x more than I already did. I feel as though youtubers today find therapy in talking about their depression on youtube and enjoy having a platform to express their views and experiences with it on. However, I can't help but personally feel that Martina truely doesn't want to tarnish the bubbly and happy vibe of this channel which is why she truely feels guilty and bummed about having to talk about this topic, unlike other youtubers. I also appreciate the fact that this video is so raw and real with editing and cuts because a lot of other videos like this one seem to be filmed in one take to add the dramatic effect which makes it feel like they tried too hard to really showcase how they were feeling thus making it more of an art project than a genuine video about depression. This is just my opinion, but for the first time ever, I could watch someone cry in these kinds of videos and not cringe or skip it, but instead I cried myself T.T You both are absolutely amazing and deserve all the good you have but also handle the bad like champions. Thank you for being so selfless and giving all these years on youtube for the Nasties. LOVE FROM AUSTRALIA! ~

[@popgas3821]

Totally agree with how she avoided talking about it in the first place! Their channel is much fun to watch that you would not even realize one of them is suffering from a serious problem. I mean suicide? Martina is so strong to outwit that. Of course she didn't get through it without help; Simon, her family, the rest. But being here, trying to cope depression by exploring the world all the while making us laugh and get entertained just made me see people like Martina and Simon in a whole different level.

[@mishumydog]

TRXKPOP agreed mate! 🇦🇺

[@disneyfan9134]

YOU’RE NOT ALONE!!!!! We’re all human and it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious sometimes. A very wise mall Santa that I met, back in 2018, once told me that “even on the cloudiest day the sun STILL shines behind those clouds meaning that no matter how dark it looks, the sun is STILL there and the joy and happiness is there for you as well”. No matter how scary or how uncomfortable things get for you, just know that everything’s going to be okay because you deserve to feel safe, loved, comforted, encouraged and for those who loved you and who really want to help u and be there for you and stay by your side either way. Whether from friends, family or anyone you trust and feel safe with. I maybe an autistic women whose probably may or may not have had a lot of panic attacks but I can honestly tell u. I’ve had anxiety attacks due to my fear of failure in school or at work and not being good enough as a person and losing my job and I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression for quite a long time so I do understand perfectly well the feelings of worthlessness, lack of self esteem, anxiety, depression, self hatred, loneliness, feeling trapped, frustration, remorsefulness, insecurity and the feeling of wanting to get try to better yourself but always coming out as a failure. Plus having been through Covid and being forced to follow Covid safety protocols like many others, myself, has been deeply traumatizing and extremely difficult for me as well socially, mentally, physically and emotionally. The point is, your anxieties, your depression and everything mental health related DOES NOT define u for who you are, it’s what’s inside your heart and all the things we’ve accomplished in life and the kind of person u REALLY are in your heart that truly defines u for who u are. Some people are not gonna always understand what you’re going through and maybe they never will but as long as you have the people in your life who loved and cared about you or that special someone whom deeply loves u and genuinely cares about u and will do anything in the world to help u to overcome this, you’re gonna come out even stronger and more courageous than ever and before you’ll know it, you’re gonna surprise people by how far you’ve come in the end. The fact that you had the courage to make this video and open up about your inner struggles and your vulnerability REALLY MAKES U A MUCH STRONGER AND BRAVER PERSON IN MY BOOK and it say A LOT about you. Give yourself a pat on the back. U did an amazing job!! 😊😊 Stay strong, have courage, be kind to yourself, take heart and NEVER EVER give up hope because you ARE beautiful and practically perfect just the way you are in every way . ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@momariereads]

I'm beyond happy you shared this. I have horrible stomach issues and panic attacks almost daily, it's so hard to even get out of bed some days and it feels like people don't get it. Thanks for talking openly about it!

[@aedragon47]

MoMarie same

[@Blackrosered66]

MoMarie right here with ya. had to call out of work because of my IBS

[@momariereads]

Blackrosered66 it's awful, and so impossible to explain to people who don't understand. Not to mention embarrassing at time.

[@iamnotmelis]

Cut dairy out of your diet, i had awful stomach pain for years and it got so much better after i cut dairy and animal products

[@momariereads]

iamnotmelis I actually can't do dairy or gluten and if I have eggs I only do whites. My stomach is so stupid sensitive.

[@sayasukaindomie]

where can I buy a Simon? 😭

[@eatyourkimchi]

You can typically find us in your local supermarket, in the ranch aisle :D

[@natalieharrison5724]

And right next to the ranch and Simon and Martina section is the Korean and Japanese food section 😋

[@K13-v1t]

Simon and Martina 😂😂😂

[@NeoGee]

Dothraki Man Warriors R Us.

[@natalieharrison5724]

And that's section is right by the spudgy (bad spelling) meemers section

[@sharlainjapan]

You rock Martina, you're going to help so many people by sharing your story. Your strength is amazing, I love your view on life. Keep being inspirational af🙌🏻💞

[@BrideOfTheWind]

Hi! I've watched this video as soon as you uploaded it and I want you to know that I already came back to it a few times, because it doesn't ruin my day at all, it gives me strenght. You put into words what I already knew I had to do in order to cope with my own vulnerability, but forgot whenever I hit my "lows". Now "build a ladder" has become kind of a personal motto of mine. I also really want to show this video to my little cousin, who's just sixteen and has recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. She receives treatment but I rarely see her do something for herself, just for her own happiness, because she defaults to cynicism to hide her pain. Talking so openly and sincerely about depression can help others (and hopefully yourself) so much, but it's one of the hardest things to do. Thank you, both for this video and for all your other videos, which kept me company and cheered me up so often.

[@MsMamaTee92]

When I subscribed a few years ago I was in one of the darkest places in my life as my husband and I decided to separate after 16 years of marriage. I watched because you were living life and doing things I miss doing. I am slowly starting life over with my children as a single mom and it is hard at my age after giving up everything to raise a family. You sharing this had me crying. I don't have chronic pain, but depression I understand very well. You brought me a sense of peace today and I feel a little less alone. Thank you hon. God bless you both.

[@DroppingBeans]

My life was completely miserable from the age 8 to 15. I dealt with so much anxiety I spent two years locked up in my room. I'm not going to talk about what the causes are because that's a long story. Two of my older brothers dealt with similar feelings and committed suicide successfully. I was always kept under watch due to that. My mom was so scared I'd end up like them, so she let me stay home to keep me from anxiety. I am just now getting better I still have horrible days but I'm trying to get through this. I'm starting a new school, I'm talking about feelings and I laugh now. I know my future will be hard because I have to make up the credits I missed and I don't have much time left but I'll make it.

[@DroppingBeans]

Also on the funny side, last night I watched I am Sam and I was bawling like a baby. When Martina started crying I was making the cry sounds and reacting the way you should but I dont have any tears so I looked like I was in a constant state of sneezing.

[@sarahw5693]

Peachy Bean hey, I hope you are doing better. I know how you feel and I'm going through similar things right now. just wanted to share a little internet strength from a stranger.

[@heijeehei]

You sound like such an amazing human being. I've struggled with trust issues due to an abusive upbringing at the hands of my adoptive parents and it's been hard to move past this (I'm 30 years old it's been awhile haha). Like you I'm trying to get out more, live my life and not let those evil voices bring me back down. I hope that on your good days you understand how special and wonderful you are. On your bad days I hope you remember that people are rooting for you even those who may not know you -- like me! I believe in the resilience of the human heart. You are capable of the most wonderful things, just be patient and gentle with yourself. As George Eliot said, "It is never too late to be what you might have been.” I wish you all the best Peachy Bean

[@lilmaus11]

Peachy Bean I'm sorry your brothers were so low they did that and that it worked please know that even tho I most likely live half a world away from you I still care if you live I may not know you but I do care xxx keep fighting and continuing on #buildaladder you can do it !!!!

[@DroppingBeans]

Thank you all so much. A lot has changed for me these past few weeks. Although i feel like my life is starting to get better, Im still unbelievably scared. I moved to a new house and ill be going to a new high school. I wanted to go to an alternative school but they are all full. It will be one more week till i start. Im scared ill have a break down and go back to my old habits. I just need to keep trying.

[@apurvadudhe19]

When martina started to cry ,I started to cry cause I have never seen her cry ,I just hope she stays strong

[@Cheezybrie]

I was diagnosed with depression at the ripe old age of 11. I'm very greatful to have your channel to go to when I feel bad. Knowing how much you guys have gone through and seeing you guys still choose to be happy and do the things you want to do has been really inspiring.❤

[@caitlinbratton7781]

No pity party, just a lot of motivation and a lot of respect for you!

[@placenamehere4]

I love Simon for supporting her....

[@V327]

I'm a 70 year old disabled Vietnam war vet with PTSD/Depression. I drive a 1984 5.0 Mustang convertible for it's therapeutic value. You go girl! God Bless.

[@afalcon217]

V327 Thank you.

[@layray210]

Thank you, that is a nice car!

[@iharkins1]

V327 great comment sir, thank you for your service!

[@ashleylala4293]

Love it, and I agree that convertibles are SOOOO therapeutic!

[@marksigmundziolkowski4212]

Dr pegasus Not from US but most wars are fought by obligatory draft and during Vietnam war plenty opposed it but had no choice unless they wanted to be persecuted and the call was for civilians of age as well so you would not have been able to avoid it by not getting into army.

[@ghosttara]

Watching it again and again, when my depression gets worse. I‘m so thankful for this video, Martina and I‘m trying to built my ladder every day. 🖤

[@natashadarling5762]

I don't know you but I love you Martina. You are such a good example to me. Life can be so frustrating and disappointing sometimes and you're such a good reminder and example about choosing happiness and choosing to make memories even when things are disappointing. Simon...you are amazing! I'm so impressed with your strength and love. It takes a really big hearted, humble person to do what you do and I hope someday I can be half that person to whoever I'm around.

[@AyanamiRei5kyu]

i knew that this was gonna be heavy and i tried so hard not to cry because i'm at a public place but i'm bawling like a baby and i'm embarassing myself but i can't help it...... i've been with you guys for 7 years now and i still remember ordering merch and being so happy when you drew on the envelope or when you sent out personal notes and polaroids for supporting your projects.... you are my favorite internet people out there because your mentality is so admirable... you guys have such a positive and bright and fun outlook on life that i always feel so much joy watching you... i knew you weren't happy 24/7, i knew you had your hard times which you didn't share with us because you want to make us happy.... i didn't know about your depression and i never wanted to think about your worsening condition because thinking about you having a hard time pains me although i don't even know you personally... but i know from the bottom of my heart that you are such lovely and kind people and deserve all the happiness in the world.... life is not fair but it's what you make it so i wanna say i admire you so much for your strength and positivity and i am so proud of you for pulling through... i don't know if i ever suffered from depression but there were periods in my life i wanted to die each day.... everything seemed so dark and hopeless but somehow it got better... i still don't know about my purpose in life but i strive to be like you guys, making the best out of each day and living your life to the fullest

[@nb2983]

Contrary to your belief ... I was literally having the shittiest day *shittiest week* ... This actually made me so inspired.. Not sad I feel incredibly inspired by your zest for life regardless of your obstacles. Love you guys and support forever ❤️

[@trumpeteralex]

I hope the rest of your week only gets better!

[@stephiefairy06]

NarraSae sorry that you are having a tough week! I hope it will get better :)

[@patykboom]

Everytime I see this video and cry and and cry BUT makes me so proud of myself and you Martina, we have come so far. Thank you I watch this video every 3 months or so. Internet hug for you and everybody who needs it ♥️🍀🇨🇱

[@eddenoy321]

You are so fortunate to have Simon sharing your life. Never forget that and treat him like the treasure he is.

[@DearestRabbit]

that's true, but Martina is also the most fantastic treasure as well. they're both very lucky people.

[@laurenschechter9961]

you can invite me to any pity parties in the future. Please don't apologize for crying. You are wonderful, Martina!

[@huevon99]

Dear Simon, How do I become as supportive as you, someone so important to me fights chronic pain, anxiety and depression. I don't want to go into too much detail but I just want to know if there is something you found that helped you be a better companion. I want my important person to be as happy being with me, as I see Martina be with you. Both of you, never change. This person has told me many times that Martina is her hero, and that Simon is the coolest. Thank you for sharing Martina, its really helped me understand more of what it means to deal with something like this.

[@boiledsweet2396]

Trust me. Being with her is all she needs.

[@weneedjusticeinamerica]

DarkDovah My husband is very supportive. I know it's not easy when your loved one is depressed. At times my husband doesn't know what to do, but the way he shows his love and support for me is by always being there when I need him. He takes care of me. At times he seems tired, and becomes agitated with my mood swings. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks (other medical conditions I prefer to keep private). His tip: Be patient. Always choose your battles. Ask yourself if the issue is worth fighting over. Most of all, encourage your important person to do things with you to keep their mind busy. The way Simon and Martina do by having all these wonderful adventures. You can see, just by watching their videos, how supportive Simon is.

[@katiekawaii]

DarkDovah I'm no Simon, for sure, but this is my advice: take care of yourself. You have to be strong if you're going to be someone's support, so don't neglect yourself. Forgive yourself when you're not perfect. Forgive them when they're not perfect too. And wear sunscreen 😉

[@LittleAmyHe]

DarkDovah I have a physical disability (essentially the opposite of Martina's problem because I lack range of motion and my collagen are deteriorating away) along with generalized anxiety and depression. Communication is EXTREMELY important. I have a friend who is an amazing support, but we were only able to get to this point because we communicated. It might be really hard for her to communicate her needs and feelings, but encourage her to and make sure she knows you won't mind and that you care about her. Sometimes, I couldn't communicate until I was exploding with fear and pain, be patient with her if that happens and let her know she can feel free to voice how she feels before she reaches that point. There may be things you perceive as nothing, but it may be horrifying for her. For me, I have trust issues, so I would be terrified when he would stop replying to me and I don't know where he went etc. So now he makes sure I know where he's going or whatever before leaving. He also apologizes if he was gone for a long time or longer than expected, which is not needed, but adds to my feeling of safety and feeling that he cares. There's a bunch of tiny things like that. I also listen to him if I've upset him and see what I can change or reassure him that I care about him too and it's okay if he's worried he's done something wrong. We take care of each other emotionally the best we can through lots and lots of communication with a side of small and big gestures.

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

It is hard to say as it depends on the medical conditions & the personality of the person, but for me, someone who is physically ill & disabled & my family cares for me: Make sure that they have the power, as someone else said communication is key. It can be incredibly frustrating not being able to do everything for yourself, so when someone else has to do it for me, they listed to how I want it done & when. (For example when bathing, I had to explain what shampoo & conditioner I use, how often I rinse, where I want my body washed first, how not to get shampoo in my eye! Etc, now I don't need to say so much as my carer knows what to do but they often double check anyway.) Don't just do stuff without asking, let them set the boundaries. (but if they find it hard to ask for help first, doing some things without asking might be ok. Or partly starting it, so rather than saying 'do you want me to get your coat?' go & get their coat & say 'do you want this') but a lot of that sort of thing depends on the person & personal preference, it will take a bit of sussing out. They will probably need to repeat stuff a lot but both of you need to be patient, my sister still doesn't know what draw I keep my pyjamas in, but she will remember eventually! An important thing that all of my close friends & family do is treat me exactly how I was before my illness, they do not talk down to me, & respect me, they talk to me like any able bodied person. Finally, laugh, making jokes has made my entire horrible experience better, finding joy & laughter in day to day things adds up to overall happiness :) You are doing the right thing reaching out for help, your significant person is lucky. There are also forums specifically for carers, it can be a good place to talk to other who understand. I hope I have helped, even just a little.

[@endlessblue2073]

This was the most frank, humorous yet heart wrenching video I've ever watched about someone talking about their personal struggles. I'm always that person in the room with a straight face while people around me cried, but I really had to hold back the tears for this one. I don't know you Martina, and all I know about you are videos you've released but I truly wish for your happiness. I'd hug you through the screen if I could. :(

[@rosehyunjae]

Martina, Thank you for uploading this video. I suffer from anxiety attacks and I feel hurt when people say that you don't look like you suffer from it. They don't understand the mental state you are in and at times I find myself really good at hiding it. Some days I just want to hide under the covers and sleep it off because it tires me out when the panic attacks come. But I know I can't let that feeling run wild in my head. Your videos are a source of joy for me. Thank you for opening up to all your subscribers! Love you Martina! *internet hug*

[@mailia2874]

I totally feel your pain Martina. I Got Diagnosed With EDS at 5 weeks Old and When I see your videos it makes me happier. I went to the hospital last week and I watched your maid cafe video and it made me smile while I was getting blood work. I think you should do like a day in the life of someone with EDS video. Your hair and everything about you is awesome. Hope you feel better and I support you! 😘👏👌🙏🙌👐🤛🤜👍💪🤞

[@celestecastellanos1028]

Martina, you are amazing! I just wanna say that. You've taught me so much. From how to do my eyeliner to how to stay or get happy. You're amazing. When I watch your videos I strive to have your outlook on life. Keep on keeping on, girl!❤️❤️❤️ And quit apologizing to us! You keep me motivated to see the best in the world.

[@eatyourkimchi]

+Celeste Castellanos thank you!!! Let's push through our lives positively while having spot on eyeliner, :)

[@I_am_Lauren]

I love how supportive the NASTY community is!

[@delfinamaria2595]

You're a warrior! I suffer headaches and migraines all days and know what it feels like. Lots of hugs for you! keep fighting! kisses from Argentina!

[@KimchiTaco]

I attempted suicide last year and I've always felt embarrassed and hated myself for it, specially because the person I love had to witness it and stop me. But when I heard you say that you have been through the same thing, I couldn't stop crying. I never told anyone about this because I feel like everyone is going to think I'm crazy or send me to a mental hospital, but knowing that I am not the only one and that someone as bright and inspirational as you has experienced this makes me feel a little less alone than before. I don't have chronic pain so I can't relate to that, but regarding depression, I can tell you that no matter how dark it may seem, the rainbow always comes after the storm. It's cliche-y, i know, but sometimes it makes me feel like maybe there's still a little bit of hope for me (and people like us in general) and that we are in this world for a reason. I still don't know why I'm here, but I want to keep living and find out even if days like today, are dark and sad. Let's not give up. Thank you for making this video Martina.

[@michd86]

KimchiTaco 😭 Me haces llorar...otra vez! Primero Martina y luego tú 😿 Las sigo a las dos y las amo y sus vídeos me hacen muy feliz, todos los que pasamos por momentos difíciles, en los que algo dentro nosotros se quiebra, nos hace pensar que no podremos salir adelante y sin embargo, debemos aprender a valorar y a agradecer los pocos o muchos momentos de felicidad que se nos han dado, personas que nos aman, momentos inolvidables...cada pequeña cosa, así que recuerda que hay gente que te ama y personas que te admiran y para quiénes eres un ejemplo a seguir, nunca te dejes vencer!!! Aún q a veces nos sentimos así😿 No están solas...No estamos solas 😿 Y hay que seguir adelante. Mil abrazos hasta donde estés 🌸😽💖

[@benjaminmorales1305]

KimchiTaco I know this might sound cliche-y but i am here to tell you, and Her and anyone who reads this that we as human beings have difficult moments. I for myself have had those also. until i decided to start taking in consideration what people that loved me and people i didn't know had to tell me ended being 100% true because i actually gave it a chance and i took it for myself to take that chance to believe instead of letting other people tell me what is real and what is not. so for the few or many that read this, it's no coincidence you've read this far to know that God... YES, GOD created you for a purpose and that's to have a personal relationship with Him and is only through repentance of your sins ( I myself am sinful but i am justified by the blood of Jesus. Being a Christian doesn't make me perfect, and also for those who judge quickly, it also doesn't make me hate Gays, i love gays infact i love them, just not the sin they commit according to what the bible says Romans Ch.1) and believing and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and Died and rose again in the third day. Please before you hate on this comment take your time to believe. I dont know how i saw this video but i know it was to deliver His message His good news to you. God bless in the name above all names Jesus Christ.

[@benjaminmorales1305]

KimchiTaco By the way, i took time to see a video of yours i think its called " la razon que vivo en Corea" something like that, awesome video, and amazing courage to travel to a foreign country. bummer that the video cut short. Any who, great chanel keep up the great work. one last thing, Eres bonita.

[@brucesavell8843]

Abraham Isaiah Morales, I can say with out a doubt that my faith in God through Jesus Christ has stopped from taking my own life. God is good.

[@benjaminmorales1305]

Bruce Savell Amen!

[@KathleenAndEmmaShow]

Hi Martina. I just wanted to say a big huge thank you for sharing this with us. I'm on week 17 of a hospital admission because of my EDS. I'm in intestinal failure and now need TPN (IV nutrition) to be able to live. During this admission, I got the bad news of 2 aneurysms. I spent Christmas, my favourite holiday here. The longer the admission drags on, the further I feel that I fall into the pit. The days are full of pain, both emotional and physical, and they drag on forever. I feel like of been condemned to a meaningless life because I cant't work because I need the social assistance to cover my TPN. Watching your videos has inspired me to start vlogging and to find happiness and fun and love and meaning in just my day to day life. If I can help one person like you have helped me, then I have reached my goal

[@NotAnotherKuromi]

I am sorry you are dealing with such gastro problems, I really hope than when your TPN is sorted you will feel better. Like Martina said, life can be better, hopefully with a new attitude you will be able to do more fun things :)

[@EdwardNigmaSL]

*HUG* "These aren't scars and mended bones, these are reminders of the times life tried to break me....... AND FAILED!" Old Viking Proverb... Veterans use it now... I am both, and I think you are awesome and brave.

[@jasminaalm]

I'm a four-time cancer survivor. I'm in an extended chemo now. My pity parties are brief, life is so short. Why are people treating each other like shit? There is greed and poverty. I try to be an activist, sometimes I take a step back. But I'm still wild on less pain days. Now I'm trying to re-invent myself, new career. I must work, here in the crazy ass states, where people act on their stupidest impulses, and think anyone different is a personal threat. In their midst, I'll be working, rescuing earthworms and beetles. Sending you guise love and healing!