How some people seem to bounce back from stress | The science of resilience

[@thefishdude1116]

I do tech support and what I always tell myself is “you gotta be more stubborn than the problem”. That gets me through the day and sure enough, my stubbornness has gotten me through some of the hardest tech support issues with sheer willpower.

[@french_toast_8644]

"What really raises one's indignation against suffering is not suffering intrinsically, but the senselessness of suffering"

[@EstoBreal]

Can you break this down for me

[@smokeandfears7546]

Suffering carries no meaning or purpose. You didnt suffer for a reason. You were just in pain.

[@kevinbenitez42]

@@EstoBrealsuffering without meaning = despair and hopelessness

[@growing.flowers]

Who said the quote

[@french_toast_8644]

@@growing.flowersNietzsche

[@michaelpassmore7839]

The more you want something, the more you’re willing to put up with to attain it. When your why becomes strong enough, you start to find a way to get through things you never thought that you could. Also, sometimes you don’t know how strong you are until you have to be. The Holocaust survivor like the one she mentioned here is a prime example of this.

[@GentleJungle]

This is so true! We've all heard about a mother lifting a car off of her child from an accident that she likely would have never believed she could do. That willpower and grit that comes from desperation and the most intense need or want literally gave her the strength to do it. I strongly believe that even with my neurodivergent nature, that Panic to do something at the last minute with its surge of adrenaline through that stress has gotten my ADHD ass up and off the couch many times when I couldn't sink straight and I was just sitting in a fog of indecision. Creating a newly framed belief surrounding a recognition of what might happen if we don't do it, but also the beautiful shining carrot ahead of us that was the original motivating factor in the first place, these driving factors truly need to take over and sometimes in a much longer term scenario than all of those last-minute project completions. We really do have to decide on what reality actually is and to be accountable for the consequences of our own actions Despite All Odds❤

[@Debble]

As a nurse i gotta correct you emotional pain can absolutely lead to physical pain. From back neck en schoulder pain due to contansly flexing your muscles in stress to stress induced stomach ulcers.

[@gorilla30100]

I mean she didn't say otherwise she just said that it's quite rare

[@ladibyrd]

I agree Debbie, she's young and. doctor, and had gua sha as a similie to Victor Frankl's meaning, she needs a bit more life experience yet.... emotions are the root of a lot

[@GentleJungle]

❤ Thank you for bringing this up. Indeed, trauma can actually show up as brain damage.

[@yaknowamsayin]

Being neurodivergent can, in a lot of cases, really affect the resilience of your nervous system from the beginning, even being more easily traumatised by life’s knocks and bruises. At least for me, getting out of my comfort zone or doing things that scare me have just pushed me further into dysregulation. I never got used to being around people and communicating, I’ve been doing it for 30 years. Still shake from most interactions.

[@PesoSmartPH]

One thing that helped me a lot when I was in a rut was the concept of Amor Fati or loving everything that happens. It's similar to the "it is what it is" mentality. It gives you the opportunity to play the cards that you've been dealt with.

[@jerr1160]

About the first mantra, I use to have extreme social anxiety, specially in class, I decided get out of my comfort zone and volunteered myself to talk in front of class and things like that, first time was terrible, but it got easier each time. Now I can actually go and talk to new people without shaking lol

[@cynthiasmith2334]

that's amazing :)

[@TheDragonSeer]

I hope I can get there one day

[@r.i.t.i.k.a]

I mean "this too shall pass" is a better mantra than "this is a temporary moment of pain"

[@GloryBlazer]

I like the second one better, because it acknowledges pain as something you accept in the present as opposed to something you are just waiting for to end.

[@merrylynnallison6922]

A friend of mine always told me this when I was going through very hard times. And he was right.

[@janzupanzu]

As someone who has autoimmune disease and migraines (there have been a year without a day with pain - not one day) I must say that sometimes you must understand when to surrunder to pain - my migraines have ended with collapsing because I tried to "be resilient" and work through the pain. Many people with chronic disease get a lot of hate because of their pain and also this same attitude thag "you did it youself" although it is not always so simple and I also find it not fair. And of course physical pain is also emotional but it is also physical nevertheless - these are real electric impulses in your nerves and real reactions in cellular level not something you just imagine in your head.

[@number2and3]

Frequently asking "why" has changed my life; at first it turned to heavy pessimism in a very classic young male mindset, but now I am changing that mindset. Videos like this help.

[@Scruffed]

Thanks, I think I've been applying much of this advice semi-consciously through much of my life, it's nice to see it articulated so well. I'd only add "You needed this stress", because for some people such as myself, the stress itself can be a powerful motivator to address a situation that I might've done nothing about until it started causing me stress.

[@JADE-ky3qz]

i think that is what she means with the "silver lining" :)

[@FloraSora]

I'm so used to listening to a bunch of just relationship this, situationship that, from my youtube peeps. But since discovering you, you're like, the first psych channel that seems to cover really important topics like these. This is so key! Like, this has so many applications in life. Love this.

[@Kimlol1]

Keep doing what scares you and pushes you outside of your comfort zone Increase your physical pain tolerance Make meaning of your pain Find the silver lining 1-It is what it is 2-why are you acting surprised? 3-this is temporary moment of pain 4-the present moment is as exactly as it should be

[@indigosnow_]

Came at a great time, thank you for your content. Helpful reminders and actionable advice. Appreciate your efforts to inform people about these kinds of things, especially now knowing it scares you in the way you described. Way to be resilient ! Ahaha Hope to pick up your journaling book soon. Cheers!

[@AnaPsychology]

Glad it was helpful! And thank you, I hope you enjoy :)

[@justvid366]

Plus 1 for cold showers. They were something that helped me strengthen my mental fortitude. It teaches you to tolerate uncomfortable sensations.

[@ayahmegdadi]

I loved the takeaway part at the end of the video I wish that you include it into the coming videos as well, it helps a lot with taking notes

[@bonaaq86]

Okay, I really needed to hear that nuance between traumas, thank you haha

[@vanessaprincesssa]

Important mantras to remember about resilience, thank you, Ana!

[@williescraftscorner1467]

Loved the video! One thing that works for me is also to consider potentially negative outcomes as not scary. But rather as a challenge to be overcome!

[@robertkomninos4220]

I’m definitely going to say that I’m a very resilient person because I’ve been through many traumatic situations, it’s all about how you react to a difficult situation and I’d say I react great!

[@robertkomninos4220]

You don’t need to be worried about any negative feelings because you know what you’re talking about and people like to learn from your experiences, cause you know what your talking about, if not, you have me fooled!

[@PinkFlip23]

Just finished reading Supernormal by Meg Jay a couple weeks ago. I walked away with the epiphany that I am resilient. She explains that many supernormal’s don’t think they’re resilient. Here’s one of my favorite quotes. “The supernormal are some of the most courageous and compassionate people-some of the best people-I have known, not in spite of the difficulties they have but because of them.”

[@Brazil-loves-you]

10:26 Ana I swear to you that you can be sure that your videos are helpful💚. I belive one of your main motivations is that you want to help people, right? Well, I want you to know that you have helped me realize a lot of things. About relationships. I love how I feel that everything that you say sounds so obvious (this is a good thing, I wouldn't have thought about that on my own. But you open my eyes to stuff that are obvious) I think that's because you study the psychological forces that give rise to behavior. All 200 million Brasilians are sending love to you😊

[@haileychowmein6167]

I recently went thru a breakup and i got reminded of it a few hours ago and this video gave me a lot of inspiration and i really appreciate the care and insight that you put into your videos. You help so many people. I will always support you

[@Dr.Jekyll_]

The core of resilience is emotional regulation. If you don’t know how to self regulate concepts and mantra won’t be very affective. I know plenty of people that know all the theoretical knowledge on paper but don’t have any practical techniques or practice to regulate emotions and they lack resilience just as much as the people that don’t have any of the theoretical knowledge.

[@lauraxrc7500]

Such a helpful video! Thank you. I‘ll print the transcript out and read it regularly.

[@rossamotte]

I was waiting for this video! I'm in my own journey of learning to accept life as it is and don't get paralyzed by fear. Thank you for your work ❤️ Other mantras that I find helpful are: - “How is this the best thing that has happened to me?” - I learned this from the KZbinr Struthless, he specifically used it for Trauma (with a big T), but I find it helpful in smaller situations as well. - “Reality is just this” - I don't remember the name of the KZbinr who shared this. Is similar to the “it is what it is”, but I find this one makes me feel more grounded and present. It also helps me with my idealism and to accept that life is not always rainbows and flowers, and that's okay. - “If you're in the dark, light a candle” - Maybe we don't have control on the whole situation but we do have some small control that can help us feel better. Anyway, hope this can help someone!

[@AnaPsychology]

I love these! Thanks for sharing

[@Apieceofgarbage]

So do I!!

[@nataliasegal8674]

I think that it's important to mention that pushing yourself outside your comfort zone can be damaging if you already have trauma and anxiety and also a diminished capacity when it comes to dealing with certain environments. It's important for exposure to stressors and potential threats to be gradual and it can be helpful to even have a support person for activity that exposes a person to something that might re-traumatize them. The "fake it until you make it" mentality (for example) can be damaging and can cause a person to withdraw completely from socializing...or even from things like being able to go to a grocery store or appointment alone. Sometimes the best thing a person can do is to give themselves a break, because rest increases resilience too...

[@TheEverGrowingRosey-333]

I haven’t watch the video yet, but has anyone else here developed resiliency to some things but not others? Like I’ve lost two Grandma’s within a year span, & like…I think I’m relatively okay? 🤷🏼‍♀️ Miss them but not feeling traumatized by the loss? But if I’m stressed about being prepared for a quiz I’m studying for? 😵‍💫 I’ll be having lots of crying spells & hyperventilating. Nightmares of missing classes or failing tests.

[@AnaPsychology]

That makes a lot of sense! I feel like people have different sore points in terms of what's harder to cope with. Maybe the sore points are a good place to practice some of these skills and push yourself outside your comfort zone? Also, sorry to hear about your grandmas :(

[@TheEverGrowingRosey-333]

@@AnaPsychologyoh wow you replied, & thank you for the condolences. I sincerely feel they’re both at peace now, even if one of their deaths was less expected. Neither of them are in anymore pain & that’s enough for me. And I like to think I’ll see them again someday. ☺️ I’ve heard cold water has been shown to help a lot with anxiety. Anna Akana talked about using cold baths to help with that!

[@nebuloushammer8773]

I had that for one class. I was working and studying so hard for that one class that my eye would twitch. Eventually, the semester ended and the twitch stopped. Whenever I was down on the class, I would say one thought to myself. "Happiness is a lie. There is only death, darkness, and Differential Equations."

[@katherineliriano6164]

Then I am a resilient person ❤ I learned pretty early on that I just have to keep pushing and if one way doesn’t work then I just have to get creative and find another way. Eventually things work out

[@Apieceofgarbage]

Thank you. Maybe this is my 1st time to leave a comment in your channel. It is not only interesting but also something I needed. Happy new year young lady

[@keithl3789]

You can also fabricate meaning for pain you didn't opt into. Whenever I'm in emotional distress I "channel" that energy into workouts and tell myself it's fueling me.

[@averyhargrave7343]

Very grateful for this channel. You’ve helped me look inward and challenge myself in a lot of ways. Thank you for sharing all of your insight.

[@mjn0052]

15:14 exactly......especially during this phase of my life, hoping to see the silver lining soon

[@cherrith_7381]

Thank you so much you're literally heaven sent. I've been experiencing some hardships in my life lately and this video is exactly what I needed. The first person I thought of was you when I felt the pain in my chest. THANK UUUU🙏🏽

[@Photik]

Would love to hear some personal experiences or anecdotes from your life in terms of all the topics you're making videos about. Thank you.

[@Brazil-loves-you]

Brazil as a whole loves you and your videos💚

[@Raven_05]

Thank you for making these videos, they really help me especially through my tough times and when theres no one to talk to. I take notes of what you say and apply it to my situations. Keep making videos i really appreciate it :)

[@light5634]

Hey, Ana :) Thank you for everything you put out there

[@Pssst.ByTheWay]

I found this vudeo corroborates other things I’ve heard and several independent inter displays sources is a good indication for truth And i enjoyed it was a more human experience, in that were wermt preaching at me, lecturing at me. You showed your own that you too struggle and that in turn im not a idiot for being of feeling or struggling this way. It doesn’t need personal relatability to do so, dr k manages really. But the fact he will tell you he suffered things things too, he was a gaming addict insol. It help actually even be open to what is being said

[@sofiaalfaro4094]

Props to you for challenging yourself! If its any help, I love your videos because your insight helps me reflect on myself as well😊

[@keltyfirebloom]

Another great video, relevant to life and easy to apply. I won’t go into detail because it would be a lot haha but the timing of this video is miraculously perfect for me. Thank you for your free, valuable and applicable content. 🙏🏼😁

[@AnaPsychology]

I'm so glad to hear that!! Hope all works out :)

[@erinliannaclare]

Great video. I’d love to hear your insights on coping with pain that DOES last- chronic pain, major health issues, etc.

[@hiitshaleyy]

Thank you Dr Ana, your videos are always so insightful and helpful!

[@Ligereoficial]

Your content helps a lot of people understanding themselves! Any tips for people that are naturally less organized on consistency? A video on that sorta topic would be great! Much love Dr A

[@mullcrumthesage6303]

Thanks for sharing your knowledge in this subject. Much appreciated Doctor.

[@GyobuTheDemonOniwa]

I've always had a hard time regulating my emotions, I know now it's because my parents didnt love me when I was a baby. And now I have no one at all to talk to. I don't think I'll ever get over it.

[@buriedtoodeep1508]

Excellent, expanded my self talk.

[@nick9254]

Thank you for this 😊🎉, I would love to hear more things like this.

[@KeenanJules]

This video came at such a crucial time for me

[@Paulfighteronline]

Interesting video 😄, especially the part about causes of resilience (including upbringing) and the frame of resilience as a process rather than a fixed quality. I think I grew up in an environment that fostered resilience and I consider myself pretty resilient today. My cousin struggles with abandonment issues and it is so hard to help him see that he is enough and that his pain is temporary (for example after a breakup). Any tips? Could you maybe talk about abandonment issues in a new video?

[@dinaml7448]

Hi ana, thank you so much for this video, I greatly appreciate your informative and high quality content❤

[@abby33211]

I wonder how pain tolerance changes due to positive exposure relates to masochistic tendencies or self harm. If there's anything for processing mental pain through physical pain or how it's a choice made this time while the pain inflicted in the past very likely wasn't the person's choice. If they think they deserve it?

[@klaudiawitek5300]

Your channel is extremely helpful. ☺️

[@AnaPsychology]

I'm so happy to hear that!

[@MrRatMommy]

6:10 resilience = emotions regulation ability 7:10 9:10

[@suzyd9999]

This was super helpful. Thank you Ana!

[@Dr.Jekyll_]

17:08 I use “this too shall pass”

[@rayneljred]

Great video, keep going Ana, I'm rooting for you. :)

[@jessegregoryCREEKSQUAD]

Thanks for all the time and effort u put in we all really appreciate it 🎉❤🇳🇿

[@cynthiasmith2334]

I can’t wait to watch this later! Also I like the thumbnail :)

[@AnaPsychology]

Thank you! :)

[@BrendaGarcia-ty2ml]

You look so pretty!

[@DannyBoy443]

Interesting. I always thought "It is what it is" was accepting fate and not doing anything about your own circumstances in that situation. I guess I need to change my view on that.

[@CorinthianIvory]

I like how you add in the intro "I'm also an author." Yeah, I see you flexing out here

[@santiagobiegler1588]

Great video. I loved it. I find it really helpful, thank u Anna

[@musicbrazilian7065]

Thank you for the uplifting messages.

[@laurag6879]

I love this video❤❤❤❤❤. I was wondering if you are planning on making a video on healing your inner child?

[@hungeroflions]

I would like more references in this video, you make alot of assertions that make me question how we got to those conclusions. I think the conversation of development is very 1) cultural and 2) nuanced. I would just like to know who's research informs those views and what was the process of drawing those conclusions, context is so important.

[@durandus676]

10:40 it is easier to waterboard myself than answer my mom what I want to eat when I drive down to visit.

[@AnaPsychology]

😂

[@seraphicliqht]

really helpful, thank you so much

[@kevintse2870]

About the silver lining. I’ve heard of two life-long smokers that became extremely ill, then quit smoking instantly.

[@m2pozad]

Where is the "neurons that fire together, wire together", stuff? Neuroplasticity is the key to building a resilient brain not only in trauma and ptsd but also in overcoming daily challenges. See- Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness, by Rick Hanson, Ph.D..

[@sarawilkerson8566]

Really good video , super helpful and easy to understand

[@hannahrial2820]

Love your videos Anna :)

[@AislingDonohoe]

I love your videos 💕

[@jjjjjjjjj3000]

I wish i could believe this fully but i have my doubts Been going through a lot of hardship , countries, problems, poverty, all with chronic depression and alone. and if asked to list traits of myself that i like i could only answer « the resilience that brought me here » But the direction you suggest , to increase and train, and growing resilience, not sure if it applies always. No matter how well trained and motivated i can feel one day, there are moments when everything collapses and there’s no energy whatsoever. In these moments pain and things i used to tolerate become impossible to deal with. Aging is definitely working against it. Accumulation of problems definitely can be a fertile terrain of growth but also the end of someone Life juice is not unlimited

[@BaronVeyer]

I love the content and this was an interesting episode, but the mantra of "it is what it is" triggers me on some primal level. I so despise bowing down to "fate" and to me this reeks of conceding defeat and succumbing to helplessness.

[@Ghost_23-k2l]

Can you do one about getting ghosted and how to overcome it?

[@GayKoule]

hi Ana, it's a bit off topic but I would love to know your take on "new treatment options" adressing BPD and depression in general. especially, I'd love to know what you think of light therapy glasses, vagus nerve stimulators (no the surgical one), cryotherapy and rTMS thank you for your content, it has been of immense help to me, I'm grateful to you doing these videos.

[@brunabarreto1637]

Very helpfull. Thank you!

[@flavio888]

Perfect video 🌟 How to stay focused for many hours and many days and months like long walking or study or workout or...?

[@mattiebarker6582]

Hi Anna. I'd love to see a video about what processing means. Ie processing past trauma, emotions, what have you

[@regularbloke7410]

can you recommend youtube video about how healthy mind works and what abusive people know about healthy mind so that they are capable of breaking people's healthy minds ? It makes me wonder why abuse works ? Abusers abuse people because they know abuse works on people. How is this possible that abuse works on people ? why people break under the influence of abuse ?

[@11undeadzebra]

thank you

[@Star-dj1kw]

✅ good video

[@DanteHaroun]

oohohhhh my god Frankl how original yeahhhh

[@celinepope]

What about trauma with an upside down t?

[@eagleC911]

Hi I am writing an NSF grant can I add you as a coach? I am building a mindfulness acute bipolar care application

[@harambe3363]

it is what it is until it is too much of is

[@Sky10811]

"it is what it is" is a dangerous coping mantra. because it leads to avoid addressing/facing and integrating the trauma. know first hand. it prevents experiencing proper emotions/experiencing proper reactions. so i would be concious to recommend this specific item

[@BigToinE976]

cautious or conscious ? (to recommend)

[@adamat4082]

Hello :) thanks for the cool video

[@mullcrumthesage6303]

Healthy forms of stress? Example?

[@user-nm6dr4uy3d]

You can also be more resilient in some areas of life than others. I'm very resilient at work but not so much in social relationships.

[@ericblack7379]

i hate the it is what it is..... bad boss used that one. lol i say life is pain... anyone saying different is selling something

[@Chosima]

굿👍

[@MysteryShack616]

Is it just me or are you getting more beautiful

[@Oo-tv366]

I need help

[@abcde8013]

👍

[@dr-ozone]

I'm sorry but mental strength = genetics. You can't change it any more than you can change your height. ^ is what I would say if I were to comment without watching. But I'll watch and keep an open mind.

[@AnaPsychology]

I respectfully disagree!

[@phuck8627]

I'm confused lol, lots of factors affect height

[@tjtessa8158]

I'm guessing you also believe reading and writing = genetics? What a sad mind you got😂

[@jaron3048]

not even tryna be rude but that’s a sad life if u think thts actually true

[@ms.terrious]

Hi, why are your tips for neurotypical people only? I'm ND with zero tolerance for pain, I have seisures for days, weeks, even months after dealing with harsh pain, and no matter what I do to myself, it doesn't build pain tolerance. I decided to exercise once, but the muscle pain from it was so bad that I lay on the floor in my apartment and screamed for days. 3 years after I decided to go back to exercising, but was taking a light painkiller pill before doing it, and now my muscled are stronger ang my posture is fixed. It took me 3 months before I could exercise without painkillers, but apparently I am weak and immoral for chosing a workaround rather than tilerating pain? I think I am resilient enough and smart because I found a wsy to get in shape psinlessly, but if I decided to "bUiLd tOlErAncE foR pAiN" instead I could have died. How about being more considerate and respectful towards ND people instead of ignoring our existence?

[@JustAlexeii]

What does this have to do with neurodivergence? It seems more related to physical disability. /nm

[@honeyhamlunatuna11]

Hi Ana, For some months now, your videos have been deeply helpful to me. I bought all of your books and await with excitement to pick them up after work today! 🎉 Thank you so much for all that you do. 🫶

[@galletasniper2584]

thank you