Anger and the False Villain Dynamic

What is Anger and the False Villain Dynamic? In this video, Teal Swan explains what the Anger and the False Villain Dynamic is.
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Teal Swan is a bestselling Author and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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[@Trippycat921]

I was recently describing this very dynamic between my mother and I to a friend. I said she would complain about me to other adults and then press every button on every bomb she planted in my small kid self and then act completely validated when I would have a meltdown in front of other people. I figured this out so many years later and feel so much heartache for my little self who had no idea and fell for it every time. “You see what I have to deal with?” No child should have to hear her mother say this so many times after she creates the painful experience just to please her own sick need to garner sympathy from people because she hated being a mother as soon as I became old enough to talk and not just her living doll.

[@TheGiantRobot]

That's so frustrating.

[@ebbyc1817]

Jeezus this sounds...awwful, Monica. I am so, so, sorry.

[@popcultureperspectives164]

I feel ya. I just wrote an entire book about my experience with my mom. Sounds like we had a very similar childhood.

[@zarishiqbal8043]

Yes that sounds like my mom as well. She isn't around, passed when i was 15. I'm still suffering from all the abuse i experienced throughout my childhood. She would break me down Infront of everyone!

[@TheGiantRobot]

@@zarishiqbal8043 It's kind of traumatizing to me just to read all these posts, but also nice in a way to know I'm not alone. I guess it's because when you are bullied like this and told you're the bad one you half believe it. Seeing other people called the bad one kind of breaks that illusion.

[@GrahamNificent]

'People can be pretty malicious, actually, but it doesn't matter, as long as the other person is the one that gets mad. A person can make themselves seem like the good guy as long as they're not the one that gets angry and the other person is.' This is why I love Teal oh my godddd this is so important to grasp

[@kellyquellar408]

Coming to terms with the fact that I am angered by injustice, and people who think they know how someone else should feel has been a rough journey. Anger is easily manipulated and I admire your impulse to bring up this topic. Thank you!

[@AstroSquid]

I think the worst aspect of comprehending injustice is the projection people do on others to see their lives of that of the victim. On a spiritual level, or even more importantly on an individual level what you think of someone's else life is more to do with your opinion and perspective than the other persons perspective. Example a race car drivers view of driving is much different than the average person's view of driving, a pro driver can perform at a different level. Another Example, a homeless person's perspective on the world is much different than a rich persons, on a spiritual level projecting who has a good or bad life is entirely subjective.

[@agathahofmann6977]

@Kelly ❤️

[@Nepthu]

Being angry at injustice makes you a slave to the news, which is highly biased. Injustice can often be based on perception.

[@Skatefasteatass]

All of you are crazy

[@LeratoM98]

Well said

[@pruedence110588]

This reminded me so much of middle and high school. I was being bullied relentlessly. And no adults were doing anything about it. And I was told to "ignore them, they'll stop". But they didn't . And so every couple months I would snap and go off, yelling at the other students to shut up and leave me alone. And then I got sent to the principals office for disrupting class and threatened with in school suspension. Which made me cry with frustration, and was humiliating, because what kind of mature teenager "gets in fights" and then cries in the office when they get in trouble. It completely destroyed my self esteem. And I became withdrawn and quiet and submissive to avoid getting in trouble. Now I'm a similar adult. I avoid my coworkers, can't make friends, and am constantly worried that if I don't keep my head down and work 3X harder than everyone else, my bosses will yell at me or even fire me.

[@Germanottisha]

its amazing that you are aware of that, and can say it like that! i hope that you'll be ready to start trusting people again, and im sure we will all benefit from it.

[@leezaloo]

You are not alone! I've also been bullied in school and didn't even know why. My parents also didn't do anything about it and left me alone with a huge load of emotional pain. I had to deal with it completely alone throughout the years. Work on yourself, be aware that the bullying wasn't your fault and that all of your emotions you've had back then and that you still have are totally VALID. Just because you didn't have someone to talk to doesn't mean that you were wrong. Express your true emotions, be aware of your boundaries, know your WORTH and don't accept anyone mistreating you.

[@pruedence110588]

Thank you all for your thoughtful and caring replies, it means a lot. I've been doing a lot of inner child reparenting, journaling, and meditations visiting my guide and inner children. I also started seeing a therapist for a while last year. When I would read these reflective journals to her, she kept telling me that I was extremely self aware and resilient. But all it was was talk therapy, and she was basically just reaffirming what I had already worked thru myself. And she kept rescheduling and canceling our sessions, so I stopped going. Now I seek out more informative sources, like Teal and others, to help me continue learning things like this so I can continue my self realizing journey because it seems more productive. I feel like talk therapy probably work better for people who aren't quite so self aware or who are still in a place needing external validation (which is fine, we are all in our own place on the journey). Through all of my research the last few years, it seems quite probable that I also have an autistic spectrum disorder that I was unaware of growing up, which helps me to understand myself even more. Thank you for all the support, and I send all of you bright blessings and healing love light!

[@alexandrataylor1989]

Same, same. But we will definitely recover. Watching this video is already a sign of that!!!

[@TheGiantRobot]

Here's what I think is happening. At your core, someone taught you that you are less valuable than others, and you swallowed it, and now people you meet believe what you subconsciously show them. Try to vomit that out, it's like a bad fish you swallowed - it's not you.

[@StarDelta9]

Covert narcissists behavior like that all the time. Switch they’re roles. So I’m always the wrong, the angered, etc. caused my spiritual awakening the amount of suffering. Great video ty teal

[@ebbyc1817]

Wow, I just posted a comment that mirrors yours. I'm not the only one, yayy.

[@StarDelta9]

@@ebbyc1817 nope your not alone 40 years married to him and I could t put my finger in the problem. Been alone and climbing myself out of pain with no support or help. It’s about killed me

[@StarDelta9]

@@ebbyc1817 your not alone my friend

[@brandy3573]

This has happened to me so many times. I have learned to control my anger to a degree but it still has a factor in how things are perceived by others. That in itself is maddening. A state of eternally damned feels inevitable.

[@volcano8043]

Thank you for being the first person I've ever witnessed in the healing sphere to talk about justifiable anger at someone else's behavior. In so many healing spheres I have been told that I am an unkind person with (clinical) anger because I had expressed myself when I could no longer tolerate being victimized by a stealth abuser. I always looked like the bad guy and since there is always a community associated with healing, I was the one accused of "just not getting it" and being an intolerant agressor because the abuser was able to frame me in the manner you describe. It's a lonely life standing up for yourself.

[@user-hp2li8hh7r]

☎ᴛᵉˣţ𝄍✉𝑾𝒉𝔮ᴛᵗ𝑠𝑨𝑝𝑝 ᴍʀ ᴅᴏɴᴀʟᴅ ᴛʏʟᴇʀ ✚𝟏𝟖𝟎𝟑𝟗𝟑𝟎𝟎𝟑𝟒𝟎 ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅɪɴɢ ʙᴛᴄ/ᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴠᴇsᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪᴅᴇᴀs👌

[@Followmybliss777]

Thank you Teal. In families where everyone wants to sweep it all under the rug you learn that anger isn’t safe and you end up in abusive relationships because you don’t trust your own feelings. My family rejects me because I bring up real stuff that is actually going on in the family and so I’m “dramatic” and the bad guy. Thank you for explaining something I’ve lived with my whole life. I felt so alone today this helps

[@korneliab8966]

Brilliant! And it’s the favorite tactic of narcissists to undermine others in this way. I recently confronted someone about their blatant disrespect, by basically standing up for myself and asking to be treated with respect, and the person had the galls to say I’m just “sensitive” and they can’t work with me because I’ll just take everything personal. Gaslighting.

[@lady_aquaria]

The "Im always walkmg on eggshells with you" line is the best 🙄🙄🙄

[@zion367]

How did you respond to that?

[@korneliab8966]

@@zion367 how did I respond? I asserted myself and removed myself from the toxic environment. I now work at a place where people appreciate what I do and are respectful. My health returned as a result. I have been thriving since I left the toxic environment.

[@zion367]

@@korneliab8966 I mean how did you respond to the last comment where they said "you were too sensitive and take everything personal". I am looking for ways how to respond to these type of comments...

[@korneliab8966]

@@zion367 I just statuted the obvious- not validating my feelings/experience and not taking responsibility for obviously rude behavior IS gaslighting…that does not make me sensitive. I’m standing up for something that was done to me that I believe is wrong. Not because I’m sensitive but because it’s wrong. Period.

[@aquariusstar7248]

I will also share that the Tatyana story made me 😳 for a moment. I almost went down that path in a recent job. My shadow self wanted to be a leader on the job and I was abt to create another authority power struggle entanglement. Luckily i came across a personality assessment that indicated i had leadership abilities. For the first time i saw this capability as clear as day. I then realized i had been falling out with leaders bc you cant have 2 leaders, there can only be one. So i had to decide, either get behind the leader and negotiate the possibilty of leading a project, quit and find another job where I can be the leader, or quit licking my past ego wounds from ego conflicts and get back out and work on my biz again, and see "failure" as stepping stones to progress and become resilient. The moral of the story is: yr shadow self can turn you into a victim time and time again if you dont work on yr inner self.

[@joyceadena]

Same!

[@stephlefort355]

Shadow self? Does she talk about this? This is the first time I've heard this term and im just finding Teal and she's amazing and dead on!

[@mary-2240]

My ex did this.. in return I’ve lost all my friends in a foreign country. I hope that many people can watch this x thank Teal!

[@TealSwanOfficial]

Incase you'd Rather Read About It Instead: tealswan.com/resources/articles/false-villain/

[@bloodymary3008]

We're Not Worthy, We're Not Worthy, We're Not Worthy

[@seykai]

Hi Teal!

[@oliviabell9691]

The narrative of a LOT of my life has been that I am bad and crazy, for being legitimately angry about real things. Thank you for naming what this is.

[@Account32548]

Timing literally couldn't be better - had this convo yesterday... but then again, there are no coincidences 💜

[@Skatefasteatass]

Wack

[@lesneilson5632]

I forgot to say you don't realise the power you have in staying calm and in control for it really is a superpower

[@emmacochran7781]

I cannot express to you how grateful I am -- Teal you're the best

[@susanpigeon6072]

Exactly. ...thank you!!! OMG I'm so relieved hearing you talk about malicious people using another's anger as an escape from their own behaviour. Like perposfully pushing your buttons to make you upset to deflect from what their doing to you...then bc your the one upset...your the bad guy...so to speak..meanwhile it's a reaction to unfair circumstances and gaslightin quite frankly...thank you Teal Swan....

[@lesneilson5632]

Suffered through my childhood unaware of this dynamic and got the problematic label and yet didn't see it in my own children either, but can understand it now enough to turn it around without harshness it is a great lesson to learn and grow from

[@brianb7869]

me too. thanks 🙏 💗

[@Skatefasteatass]

You all are brainwashed

[@ajaelnaser7049]

This was me all my life. My great intentions and all the great things I gave my family were always forgotten whenever I turned angry because I got hurt 😔 Thank you so much for always pointing out what is happening in our society. We need to change our approach to anger and truly investigate situations in order to understand!

[@thomaswaffle5121]

My problem has been not setting boundaries and people walking all over me until I explode. I've never been big and tough so my anxiety level is always on point.

[@brianb7869]

PTS is not a ‘dis order’. Natural reaction to the insane flying monkeys. They have no minds and will not enjoy their downward spiral roller coaster.

[@shrabanimukherjee9147]

so true 🥺

[@ebbyc1817]

Bingo.

[@lauren8627]

Same.

[@celestehernandez2000]

This is insane…I was just talking to my therapist about my horrible relationship with anger. The timing is perfect, thank you Teal ❤️

[@ConsciousOne369]

don't wast money on therapists...

[@shannonlucas4605]

I love you Sis. I saw you in the spirit. I am not over you but you are free.

[@healingwithhanifa5984]

me too now I now when I raise my voice am protecting my boundaries and what's important to me pff aha moment just now

[@randomelvis3359]

8 years of Teal’s teachings I am free/aware of the demonic (fiendish) behaviours of others. TEAL’s TEACHINGS ARE TRUSTED AND TRUE…. She gave me a freedom i enjoy within EVERY moment of my life. I now spread this love in my coaching work. Thank you again Teal 💜🙏🏻 Infinite gratitude ✨💫

[@peppersanches412]

Demonic lol, what a judgement 😃

[@csepke2]

I am free/aware of those behaviors in myself. Therefore in others as well. Does it work the other way around too?

[@beelove9910]

I noticed most of the comments are from people talking about the villains in their lives, rather than any introspection about times they do this, or are easily fooled by it. We are all capable of engaging in this dynamic from all sides. These patterns will never change if we only learn about them to accuse other people, and never look within.

[@sunshine7912]

This is true, but when does anyone want to recount when they were being a villain and operating in an unconscious state to open themselves to judgment from others? As I was thinking about this, I realized the fact that while you may want to see more personal accountability in the comment section, you did not start with a story of your own...and so there the issue continues, doesn't it? Nobody really wants to be the first.

[@beelove9910]

​@@sunshine7912 That's a fair viewpoint and I had this thought while writing my comment. Shouldn't we offer ourselves as an example? Yet we can all see why others don't. Your suffering is exploited before your own eyes. I genuinely want others to understand why it feels unsafe and dangerous to 'be the first' in a crowd that's out for blood and revenge. Why would I, or anyone else, feel like it's safe to be openly and publicly introspective in a world that is so clearly seeking the Villains and Heroes? That was one of the ideas I wanted to express. With my comment, I am trying to say that introspection (and self-compassion) are important and necessary. The condemnation and rejection I see reflected in the comments leads to our fear of openly sharing, learning, and finally changing. That's basically my point.

[@sunshine7912]

@@beelove9910 Right, I don't think anyone wants to offer themselves up for scrutiny. It's sort of "sinners judging sinners" but the spiritual version, "unconscious judging unconscious". I think shaming is the big culprit for lack of openess. I am not above these emotions myself, I still have to be aware of when I shame or judge. And, actually, it was Teal's other video on the Triangle from Hell (Victim/Villian/Hero Dynamic) that first caused me to look within when I am playing either person. If it was safer to share our sufferings with others more could relate to the other side of just being the victim. It is tough to be vulnerable when others aren't aware of the Triangle dynamic in themselves. Everyone wants to be the good person in their own story. Yes we need more self-compassion and less judgement of self.

[@sunshine7912]

As a seperate reply to the main issue here...I can definitely offer myself as an example. I have been the "false victim" many times in the past. I made a false villain out of a previous partner and to this day use that period of my life as a push to become a more conscious being and not subject anyone to those negative behaviors again. I was very wounded masculine reacting as wounded feminine to any wrongs done onto me that I caused or provoked. I understand I was only acting at my current level of consciousness at that time. Being more aware now, I do take accountability and at the same time, I know it wasn't "me", but the programs from my parents/collective behavior manifesting through me.

[@tammy6452]

Being capable of all and awareness would be work for integration?

[@IndigoHazelnut]

A couple years ago I was discussing the pandemic situation with a relative and their reply was ‘you clearly seem to be thinking very unclearly because you sound very angry’. Damn right I was angry, I saw things that many were blind too. And I could see this was causing a lot more suffering than needed. Funny that this video took me back to that moment

[@sugarkittymystic]

yeah you should be angry about that ! haha :)

[@caitlin2418]

That was what I thought of too! Plus my anger about other issues in the world...people think I'M the crazy one because I get so upset about certain things, but personally I think it's crazy (or just plain oblivious) NOT to be angry about them!

[@jacobjorgenson9285]

What if what you were seeing was wrong?

[@IndigoHazelnut]

@@jacobjorgenson9285 it could have been a possibility except unfortunately I was not. I would much have preferred to be wrong

[@jacobjorgenson9285]

@@IndigoHazelnut I’ll bet good money you have no real evidence for that you thought was right

[@Steve-jw6my]

This is the story of my life. Thank You for bringing this to light in such a brilliant and insightful way. 🙏❤️

[@brodiewilcox]

Finally I feel understood, I bring so much peace and loving intention to all of my relationships both existing and prospective. And yet when things turn sour I'm constantly labelled as the bad guy for reacting to the obviously sly and inauthentic approach taken by the other party.

[@sindy8223]

This is interesting. I was just having this conversation with a colleague of mine regarding two students in my classroom. The one will goat the other to the point of uncontrollable anger. The student that gets drawn in and can't control his anger gets in trouble because of the stiff he does while the student that is causing the problem gets told to go to her quiet corner and that's her only consequence. I was talking about how unfair that he is the only one that gets a consequence that is harsh while she gets off. She's the one causing the issue. He is only reacting to what she is doing. She knows nothing will happen and so she continues. I was able to find a solution that when she does this I go to him before he loses control and I ask him to remove himself from the situation. I allow him to go somewhere safe away from her. This caused her to get angry at me but I just shrugged and told her I refuse to allow her to get others in trouble. I'm still upset that she is able to have this power and it is definitely an issue.

[@peppersanches412]

THIS IS ODDLY SATISFYING LOL.

[@sandresimpsson9076]

SHE should be the one to get removed because she is causing the problem, don't you think? She should be the one to get punished for her behaviour. And therefor remove her so that she isn't geting any pleasure at all from her behaviour.

[@rababben]

This is so eye-opening. I got to a point where I have been rejecting my own anger emotions, thinking it is actually a defect! This video came out when I most need it. Thank you, Teal 💚

[@vikramm5908]

Teal's words are as beautiful as her physical beauty

[@sherlinefenelon818]

You are great and what are you teaching keep doing no matter what other people think of you

[@schafswiese]

Soooo important! I live in Germany and it's even worth over here since ppl are sooo afraid of anger and conflict for historic reasons. How can we make the whole world see this video?? And than all the other videos of teal too!

[@alexandrataylor1989]

Oh I lived in Germany and I noticed what you describe

[@mlansky7302]

passive-aggressive behavior is a high art in America today

[@vasilebaran6140]

Thank you Teal.

[@Somegirl811]

Love this woman and her exceptional insights and how she puts into words things that are so hard to explain. I have been needing to think about this.

[@cloackedsword8713]

BOOM HEADSHOT u got me there. never felt so connected to a discussed pattern. Thanks alot

[@_LulitaRibbon_]

My family used this against me all my life, but they didn't made me the villain, they made me the stupid, immature, incapable of speaking like a normal person, unworthy, bratty, spoiled one... and they made space for them to be the most mature, educated, eloquent, intelligent, etc... And I learned that feeling anger was wrong, so, I did the same thing that my family did to me to people I cared about in my life ... It turns out that they never let me had my boundaries and my "self"... I tried to fix every problem in my life by not being myself, resulting in horrible trauma towards being me... Now, I'm trying to be me, but that doesn't mean I'm achieving it, I don't even know where to start

[@pernillek5553]

❤️

[@sweetyy5203]

I also don't know who I am. My parents were never satisfied with anything so I could never even practice anything long-term. And they were also confusing. Said one thing one day and the opposite the next day. Resulting my brain being a complete mess, avoident of everything, living in constant fear and needing coping-mechanisms.

[@aquariusstar7248]

Yep! I got labeled as the bad guy bc i got angry on the job abt a work situation where my peer resisted doing her job for 18 months Superiors refused to do anything abt it and even i initiated several conversations with het to no avail. After i lost it in 2 meetings with the supervisors and refused to work with her or "forgive" her at the snap of a finger, she became the "good" guy and i became the problem. Truth is my anger had built up over 18 months bc no one wanted to confront her lack of cooperation. It never occurred to me until now that she triangulated me and my supervisors who were getting along with me just fine bf she showed up. However it worked out to my highest good bc i had a toxic codependent relationship with my managers and i started setting boundaries with them after that event.

[@joyceadena]

Same!

[@sugarkittymystic]

this video was so informative wow!!!!! I've always felt so bad at the fact that I get angry and express it, trying not to show it to others and often failing. This makes me finally feel relief from guilt like I'm just trying deepen a bond and knowing that I can look for constructive ways to use that energy when I experience it. woohoo so happy!

[@yousfiabdelali]

I absolutely love the responsibility frequency jacket you're wearing ❤️💙💜

[@katarinakirner9414]

Teal, I truly appreciate you. You have made such a difference for me in my life ❤️ sending you all my love

[@Musrusticus-]

Absolutely superb video. In over thirty years as a Police Officer (in the UK) it was so apparent that the offender was often not the problem (proper) but a near impossible argument as the system, and most in it, was/were totally blinkered and just ticked the boxes and then moved on.

[@chapeau62]

This needed to be said, thank you Teal!!! When men say it, nobody listens.

[@deepwaters7242]

Awesome. We needed this.

[@angycalista]

Thank you for this video Teal. Finally something that shows anger in the correct light. ❤️

[@blumenkraft2275]

This is a big one for me. So much gratitude for your ability to frame and share important concepts in a concise manner.

[@maevahernandez7252]

You are so brave for talking about this. I just admire you.

[@117MasterSpartan]

I was literally hoping you’d make a video about this, thank you so much ✨🙏

[@katiep7189]

I can see right through these metaphorical stories.

[@domeniquedelafield1278]

Amen 🙏 Blessings Teal! This is huge. Like someone else was saying here. I feel something and its like a happiness of validation or just happy to have words put to the phenomena. I have always known my anger has a protection mechanism for my spirit even when others dismiss, disapprove or snub me or think its rude when they drove me to it bonkers. Because I am a caring and nurturing person, so my anger is telling me something is not right. I have learned to ask my intuition for the message when in a calmer state. And sometimes, I have learned to intuitively feel that it needs to be expressed in the moment, with intelligence and truth sprinkled in to the observer as to why I am expressioning it. Ultimately, meditation is the grounding force of interpretation for all emotions

[@nicollejones6133]

On point feeling the pulse and speaking directly to the root cause

[@SammyVideoPlex]

The thing is how a person handle anger. If I get mad and it don't really matters and it's not about something important I can control my anger. But if it's a lie or something done to me that was wrong. Like other people I blow up and get mad and show my anger. Like my new neighbors they moved in they are loud and dirty and don't fit into the neighborhood. I show my anger love you Teal, thank you for the video. ❤

[@apcxpo]

This is genius! Thank you, Teal, for making this so relatable!

[@looloo960]

Thank you teal for another great video! You’re such a life saver! The more videos I watch of you the more it gets clear how literally everything relates back to childhood! I really appreciate your wisdom and I hope you’ll write a book on parenting one day! I would buy it off the shelf in a second

[@mesuhino]

Very thought provoking and enlightening. Also love the new hair style. Thank you

[@jpaulgetty8998]

Thank You Teal You hit the nail squarely on the head with that one .

[@cateellington6653]

I think this is true, in most people but not with those who suffer with a personality disorder like Borderline Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder. In the recent Depp V Heard case, we can see how those with a Personality Disorder like Borderline & Histrionic PD - weaponize anger & rage as a way to control the person they’re interacting with at the time. And they work hard to stifle any “reaction anger” the person they’re currently engaged in raging AT may have. It’s a form of coercive control.

[@cecilia1099]

Thank you Teal, this is exactly how my sister would drive me to bad outbursts. I am still scared of myself and that part of me coming out even today. The trauma of someone driving you to these outbursts and then having all against you is horrendous.

[@thelandofaud]

Wow. You described my situation with my mother. She managed to snap her fingers, have me force hospitalized, and then she got emergency custody of my children back in January while I was held against my will. (I'm a single mom, so I guess that gives grandparents more power when it comes to getting their grandchildren.) I have yet to even get into court to defend myself (even after paying a lawyer to help me). I have been staged as the bad guy for responding with anger to my mother disrespecting my boundaries, gaslighting me, and undermining my authority as my children's mother. She's been able to alienate me from my girls for over 4 months so far I think, and she's managed to completely disrupt the emotional bond I had worked hard to build with my children. She destroyed my reputation in doing so as well, all to protect herself. I got my degree in Early Childhood and now she has people convinced I'm not even safe enough to be around my own children, let alone anyone else's. It's horrible, but therapy has been helping tremendously and it hasn't broken me. I know someday I will be reunited with my girls and I will have the career I desire (working with children, teaching, and creating a better, less abusive world). The biggest lesson I learned... Anger can and will be used against you in this society if you don't gain control of it and express it in healthy ways. Expressing anger directly to the person who abused you isn't safe. 🖤AUD

[@lady_aquaria]

'Expressing anger directly to the person who abused you isnt safe' .... learning this the hard way as of last week and two nights ago. Working hard to get out.

[@thelandofaud]

@@lady_aquaria Sorry, I can never remember where I leave comments and I'm only just now revisiting the video. Hope things are looking better for you (if you ever find this message).

[@osbthecreator]

🙏 Thank you so much for creating this video and speaking to this, Teal. This pattern was one that was at play in my previous relationship and it was an absolutely maddening experience whenever it would play out. I understood my anger as a response to damaging behaviors, and yet those behaviors were never addressed because these situations always ended up being about my anger. This reinforced the feeling of powerlessness, and caused me to doubt myself and fall into deep despair. It was an excruciatingly painful cycle to keep living out, but fortunately I eventually chose to leave. Those of you who are reading this that might be caught in this same trap (over and over again), may you find your way back to your freedom and your worth.

[@shiarosenthal1335]

So true, thank you Teal. The worst thing you can tell someone legally angry is to tell them “don’t take it so personal” or “why’re you so angry” when this exactly is the reason they became angry because they cannot sit with the fact that you’re so blatantly denying the facts of a situation and you’re even ready to make the other feel bad about themselves. This video decodes that, to be looking at this all more truthfully.

[@dillonkelleher1078]

i love her look in this video so much her hair and earings and outfit and everything is slaying shes so cute

[@angelp9779]

Great timing as always. 🙏

[@viat4608]

After decades of being gaslighted by self-righteous narc family I have learnt to up my game and used other methods to set my boundaries instead of yelling because when they yell they are saints but if I yell I am the devil. I am determined to get my life back and live happy on my own terms. That is the only reason I have to survive.

[@dahlia6712]

Perfect timing Teal! Last night I was journaling about my anger and figuring out the exalted form of it and how to work with it. Thanks!

[@kevinlewis8162]

this topic makes me furies......cause it's so true, in society people love to point their righteous little finger at the angry and emotional person in conflict situations and never look at why that person is angry in that situation

[@hereforit2347]

You, Teal, are a REAL villain.

[@dcoci]

Still watching the video but just wanted to say TEAL IS SERVING LOOKS 👁️ 👄 👁️

[@bellaluna2220]

So true!! I am always made to look like the bad guy because I react to the abuse I go through daily. The abuser makes themselves look like the victim and martyr. I am so sick of this dynamic because I can not get out of it. As a child I was not and still not allowed to feel angry or upset because it is my fault for having a reaction and therefore a bad person. I was definitely made to feel unsafe and alone when as a child I was not only supported or helped when I was violated, but made to apologize to my peers and made to say I lied and did it for attention so that it would “solve the problem”. Obviously it did not and ruined the rest of my childhood and the last chance of ever having any self esteem or worth.

[@magalilouche6327]

Teal: 🙏🏻 but could you do a video about how to best respond to a child’s anger?

[@thisguy8106]

Esp anger over absolutely absurd stuff. Like...video games!!

[@mroxannevh]

seriously I never learned healthy ways to deal with my anger and I'm at a loss on how to instruct them with their tempers. I need reassurance it'll all be okay!

[@NJGuy1973]

How to respond to a child's anger? Don't.

[@lutherevans968]

Anger, while it can be unleashed from a person seemingly due to their inability to control something externally, such as a situation that isn't going their way, it actual indicates the person's lack of control of their inner world.

[@catherineo8689]

You say that because you fundamentally disagree with Teal and feel that negative emotion should not be expressed and if it is it shows inner weakness. But anger is one of many human emotions and is the only one we expect people not to show. We are kidding ourselves IMO. I think that in the long run, you cannot suppress that demon without harmful rationalization or other fallout like a big blowup layer or passive aggression or getting physically sick or of the anger is shared globally atrocities.

[@spacey118]

You are right. When individuals either pointedly and purposefully seek out harming another for personal gain, it is maddening. Through my ascension I have gone back and forth between what I know to be true and the perception as manipulated by others. Sometimes perception matches up with truth, and within that Venn diagram, the true villain has switched up the field. As I witness the expression of the world in this specific aspect of time/space, and look around and assess the damage. How could I not understand that the truth does not negate the destruction. I wish true peace and true security for all souls born of Gaia’s elements. May the seeds of pain, encoded into the spoken word, fall flat. May the heartstrings blow in the wind. May the heart space of Gaia and her babes purify the body once again

[@lisetteramos6415]

This is brilliant information. I lived a similar experience as a worker where the manager harassed everyone until the point that worker cry and explode until get fired for loosing their composure, the manager was never required because she was cold like ice, not emotions showed, of course behind all that were deep wounds not healed but society doesn't care, society just care about outcomes not about the sources of issues. The same happens in the dynamic bullying/victim and as consequence in bigger scale mass shooting happens. The whole society has to be healed and start by each one of us. That's why it's said... Healing yourself is healing the world one step at the time.... Thank you. 💯👏🔥👍

[@sarah9044]

Covert malignant narcissism at it's best, unfortunately. Had to learn this the hard way. He knew all my triggers and exactly how to dig into them at the worst time for me and the most opportune time for him to make me look like an unhinged fool. Beware of these malicious people. They will stop at nothing to destroy your life as a way to distract themselves from their own buried traumas and them refusing to heal emotionally. Instead they choose to stir up drama outwardly rather than heal the drama within their own mind. Sorry to scare, I'm speaking from experience. Good people are abundant but the bad people are wolves in sheep's clothing looking for an easy target. Mental health is the crisis of our time and it starts within our own hearts and minds. ❤🧠💎

[@evolvefly2981]

SO FREAKING THANKFUL that this is coming to awareness 🙏🏽 Thank you Teal. Those of us who are still resolving a scapegoat pattern need as much help as possible please

[@victoriasamayah]

i have definately been seen as a villain when im an angry victim, especially as a child. i just got told i had anger issues. my boundaries never mattered.

[@WidyCreep]

Time to learn!

[@franziskaweber3327]

thank you so much for bringing this up!

[@zarashah6142]

Really grateful that you made it clear ! Thank you 🙏

[@chiarag2733]

Thank you very much dear Teal 💝 It helps me a lot to understand my child...and myself.

[@upwardself]

I cant express how you know exactly what I need at any given point. 💯 thank you for always being there!

[@franzabananza]

This was my whole life. No wonder this comes to me now on a full moon in cancer when this was posted 7 months ago. It's all so clear now

[@moralebooster8437]

So organized and helpful as always, Teal! Thank you!!! 💙 Because my anger was quickly invalidated and mocked when I was young I've had terrible luck with partners who have toxic anger issues hahaha go figure. I'm attracting gentler people these days which I am so so thankful for 🙏

[@elliottseitz8734]

Teal your insights into anger are really great…. Helpful… I found all of your anger topics very insightful and helpful!

[@piamp1454]

Thank you, Teal, for another great and eye opening video! I love that you are again and again, very intelligently pointing out and exposing different aspects of our individual and collective shadows! Great and important contribution, thank you! 🕉🙏🏻♥️✨

[@demitriafallscon2732]

Thank you Teal, you give me hope when I feel like slipping away ❤️

[@katjamoltgen5452]

It reminds me on my childhood when I did this to my brother. I teased him with words to the point that he would hit me and outburst and then got punished. We are both containing this patterns, though not with each other, luckily. I feel the trigger points of people like big red buttons and love to push them and he holds the believe that there is no justice or solution for him in expressing his perception.

[@shambhalasagittarius]

Thank you for starting the day right🎇

[@jupiterjanes]

Thank you for all your guidance, time and energy, Teal 🙏♥️🙏

[@dianaboughner7977]

💖Thank you beautiful Teal Swan for all of your wonderful mentoring over the years. 🌹

[@Kilofa_tarot]

This is the best video i have ever seen on anger and i am so glad it exists, thank you Teal...i really feel inspired to learn about the purpose and reasons behind my anger.

[@alex-ander-13]

This is such an important distinction. Thank you so much.

[@jenniferanderson213]

Love hearing your side of the story, so sorry for what you are going through! #TeamTeal

[@SammyVideoPlex]

Love you Teal, thank you for the video. ❤

[@Whilemine]

Thank you Teal, I really needed to hear this 🧡

[@melissalee2522]

Thank you, this will completely change the way I view and deal with anger from my teenage daughters ❤️

[@brookegriego]

I feel so justified now lol

[@salyssakharis]

Your channel is THE One Stop Shop for humans that want to do and be better. I will never stop being amazed at how concise your videos are. I truly hope you get your flowers while you are here with us 💐💛🦢 Thank you Teal

[@the1betterpodcast84]

I love it Teal.. thank you as always

[@catherinebridges2541]

Thank you I really needed this tonight. I appreciate your teaching

[@McMilesE]

Girrrlllll, how can you speak about this SO FREAKING PRECICELY ---- So perfect!! Thank you for this video!!!