Anhedonia - Living Without Pleasure (Psychological Explanation)

[@Sillywabbit5]

Every time I try, I wish I hadn’t. For me, I’m just existing till I die.

[@CMoore8539]

Please don’t give up!💞

[@vixsterino]

​@@CMoore8539but why when in doesn't get better

[@NamezJae]

@@CMoore8539why

[@grodd2040]

Fr

[@NamezJae]

@@Sillywabbit5 exactly

[@donnykyoto1519]

What if you're tired of trying? You're good one day and sometimes not, it's an endless cycle. You're sick of worrying or feeling, and just want yourself to end

[@fludderkiddie]

Real talk? If you’re truly feeling that way you need to call your mental health professional (if you have a therapist) and tell them. If you don’t, and you’re Truly having thoughts of ending everything? Walk into your local er (or one farther away if the close one feels too close) and tell THEM. I mean, if you’re feeling so incredibly numb, what does it matter where you feel it anyways, right? I mean, the only thing you have to lose is a little bit of that burden by Letting someone else help you…and if it doesn’t help, no harm no foul… I believe your worth it, but I’m a stranger on the internet going thru similar so I know my words have little weight. So I’m just going the logical route. You can be empty at home stuck in a cycle, or be empty in the audience of ppl who know how and want to help you…it doesn’t matter anyways, right? So nothing to lose and everything to gain, right? Even if you have 90% of the days where you don’t care regardless and you’d rather stay empty at home. The other 10% of those days? Grab one and tell someone. Even the ending it all stuff.

[@donnykyoto1519]

@@fludderkiddie valid

[@user-ee4xu9lh4k]

I just tried Ketamine Therapy and TMS and it shifted something in my brain so now I experience joy just because and all that hard emotional work I’ve been doing actually matters. If you can get access to it, there isn’t any better treatment imho. It also works super fast.

[@user-ee4xu9lh4k]

And until then, study self-compassion/self-love. Listen to playlists in the background until your brain starts doing it. And narrow your time frame down to the length of time you can feel self-compassionate about whether that be a day or 10 minutes at a time. That’s how I started.

[@donnykyoto1519]

@@user-ee4xu9lh4k yeah I do, what I found interesting, self esteem wise, is low and high self esteem runs parallel. Some people that grow up with more low sometimes won't be able to completely absolve the negative biases and that's ok. Neurologically and physiologically it makes sense naturally why we have this programmed. It just takes constant reassurance that I gotta stay consistent with. It's still pretty new to me, being nice to me. But I definitely know nothing is permanent and I gotta adjust accordingly to anything

[@sweetlaughter78]

Life is just a constant struggle for some of us. I drowned when I was 5, our home burned down when I was 7, My dad died when I was 10, most of my 8 siblings were older than me and most were drug addicts and alcoholics, mom died when I was pregnant at 21. Divorced at 28. Brother was murdered during the pandemic, as well as other family members passing away from lack of self care. Everyday, I chose not to suffer, but if I don't consciously make the attempt, I return to a base and this is it. I didn't even realize it. I thought I was being spiritual, but really I'm just disconnected from people and tired of disappointment in life. I'm mostly a recluse, and spend most of my time alone.

[@kelseykjarsgaard5774]

Yeah it's messed up world. Why think God may be malevolent at times if there is one

[@jo-annahicks3324]

My God!..you've been through Hell!!!...I'm not surprised you shut down, cut off, numb out and have become a recluse...who wouldn't having dealt with all that!!!! Have you ever considered, or tried EMDR work?

[@annehoskins5795]

I think you are a normal person reacting to abnormal situations. Sometimes a mental illness is defined as one who can't cope with their environment but that is in a normal environment. In your case, it would be normal to feel as you do. If you felt good during all that turmoil, then there would be something seriously wrong with your mental health. You would not be living in reality.

[@oORiseAboveOo]

If you are a Christian, please look up some deliverance prayers, and cleansing the generational bloodline prayers. Here’s a simple one you can say: “In the name of Jesus, I break all curses, hexes, spells, witchcraft, black magic, voodoo, sex magic, and deceptions sent against me. In the name of Jesus, I renounce any ungodly oaths I or my ancestors made.”

[@a.d.b535]

It can be too hard and painful to continue to care. I'm looking to take a vacation to light a spark of something. Hoping to change this disinterest.

[@emilyknowlton8602]

it doesn't get better with time. Becoming older just solidifies this bleak reality. I dislike weddings, holidays birthday parties, birth announcements. There is no point. I no longer have the energy to go through the motions esp at work. Irritation is the primary feeling.

[@aceclarksatx]

Same here. Nothing makes me happy anymore it seems. I was going to therapy and was doing very well in my mood. I was told we had one more session left and that ruined all the hard work. Mind you, vi had quit meth for a few months and got depression under control. I'm absolutely furious about this

[@sperez3275]

@@aceclarksatxyou can see another therapist bro! I know it sucks, but don’t stop going. For real. I stopped after moving cities and have had real trouble finding ANYONE doing anything in person. My life has really really gone off track ever since… Get another therapist there, or find a different location. Honestly. Life gets better with therapy. It really does. Not perfect or fixed, but Definitely better. And sometimes just having something , anything like that makes all the difference.. towards progress, change, acceptance, awareness, daily mood, goals, and lots of other things.

[@suepowell2097]

This is me, I feel no happiness, no one understands me. It gives me comfort to know there are people like me.

[@DesiLumsden]

You explain it very well. Know it's so hard to get out of the hole. Everyday fight.

[@TravelinRosy2025]

I agree

[@davidconnor8000]

I’m in my first ever deep depression, and its terrifying. And your description is exactly where I am now, every waking minute, sleep is the only escape

[@ЙоанаТерзийска-й6д]

I feel absolutely the same way..

[@tylero8595]

Its OK how you feel brother. It will pass with time. Depression is your body telling to rest. It will take time to recover. But you will recover. Everything you need you already have. Any questions you have you already know what the answers are. You just need to rest. You deserve to go to sleep when you feel the depression taking over. Dont fight it. Accept it. Your body and mind need it. And when you start to feel somewhat better, know that there will be more of that soon. I have been there. A few times. And it will get better. It just takes time. Peace and love. Never stop dancing bro.

[@Moneymagi]

He's bloomin' right ya know ^

[@wendymitchell4004]

It's horrible but you will always have times when you feel better than now and can build on that

[@Bran317]

Yes I definitely have this and I never laughed fo 30 or more yes and definitely understand and my dp never went away but anyways I do get it I want to get high as fuck and then I might feel some joy

[@chchwoman9960]

After decades of depression, i have found in my 60s i dont care as much. So the anhedonia continues but the pain is minimal. So in comparison, i am content, as long as i can have peace

[@penneyreed7316]

I'm at the 60 age now, your right. We have learned to keep our world how we like it and avoid the rest. At this point, I think I've learned to control my environment.

[@bxxmb80]

Trauma and severe stressful events in life can cause a person to shut down and survive on a very basic level so as not to trigger any new stress inducing problems.. We just cannot deal with the problems of the world and it's People.. In a way the body shuts down its needs, urges, wants and spontaneity to protect itself.

[@bxxmb80]

@@Maria1Fernadasilva1979 Would love to read your comments but no way to translate to English

[@doctoruttley]

Yep 💯

[@bxxmb80]

@giacomo7113 I feel safer to just exist than actually live and flourish.. That would involve too many risks and unknown factors, yet at the same time I'm aware that to just exist is a very fragile state where if we take one wrong step, one mistake one trigger and we will fall over the edge of the precipice into that black hole.. I made my children my focus & identity but now the last one is leaving I feel I will combust and explode into a million pieces bcos I don't exist as myself only as as someone else's need, purpose. It's the freefall of self destruction I fear

[@Bob-b7x6v]

Pit of Despair, The Stanford Prison Experiment, and The Skinner Box...

[@dianageorgieva952]

This is the most profound and accurate explanation so far.Thank you❤

[@janedupree2327]

I'm turning 40 next year, and I'm so incredibly fed up and tired of life.

[@lesliesantos8595]

Im barely 25 and sick of the dating apps and how fake ppl are. Only real ppl are on KZbin..😢

[@mikespike2099]

Yeah I hear you … to me a lot of people are recognizing how sick society has become in hyper capitalist societies… depression and anhedonia are natural human reactions to this experience! I propose two main causes … rise of globalization and the rise of technology/social media … we compete against the world … at no time has this occurred in human history… and technology replacing human work … a source of meaning for a lot of humanity!

[@mikespike2099]

Yeah I hear you … to me a lot of people are recognizing how sick society has become in hyper capitalist societies… depression and anhedonia are natural human reactions to this experience! I propose two main causes … rise of globalization and the rise of technology/social media … we compete against the world … at no time has this occurred in human history… and technology replacing human work … a source of meaning for a lot of humanity!

[@Tadesan]

Me too

[@Chuyitamm]

Same

[@consciouswriter6531]

I’m 62. And an empath. I have severed ties with almost everyone in my life except my daughter. I even let my therapist go recently because she constantly scrolled on her phone during our sessions. I believe that there are a growing number of people who can no longer put on a socially acceptable mask and play their NPC roles in a world that promotes that. Welcome to spiritual awakening. It’s not all rainbows and fairy dust. It’s seriously hard work to go within. But when everything and everyone else feels like a void, we eventually have no other option. My hope for my future is that I will find likeminded souls and live my best years yet with people who are willing to dive deep and soar higher. I’m frankly over small talk, meaningless games and shallow relationships.

[@Loyal2Jesus]

I am 60. Same.

[@suepowell2097]

I am 63. I understand. My granddaughter keeps me going. This is me.

[@kathleensaenz4717]

71...was just contemplating the 'why' of how I feel....

[@michellegosnell5534]

Totally agree I,feel the same ,all I can say is thank god,I'm not alone in feeling this, safety in numbers😮

[@consciouswriter6531]

@@michellegosnell5534 agreed. Thank you for saying that. 💕 I wish it were easier to find likeminded people locally. I believe it’s changing but it’s not without pushback that’s for sure.

[@scottmckay9535]

"This World is Not My Home". That sums up my outlook. When I heard that song, I knew it was written for me.

[@Bob-b7x6v]

This right here... 👆

[@gossimer3]

I'm 58, and I have literally felt this way my entire life, ever since I was a small child. All my life I've just gone through the motions of what's expected of me by others, with no heart to it. I can't wait for oblivion.

[@fifitheflowerpot]

I get you 😮

[@jeanhelms2621]

I get you too. But just because we don’t FEEL it, doesn’t mean we did no “good” during life. Go back through the facts & data you can remember. You’ll find some contributions - probably lots of right moves & value added to the lives of other people & animals. It matters, even if you don’t feel it. Yeah, feeling is so important. But it is not everything. It’s just feeling. May you be blessed & comforted. I recognize your courage - daily! - going through the motions for decades! You’re a true warrior.

[@inquisitorMence]

Yeah, I feel that.

[@TheSultan1470]

I bet you're actually 12 and a dog.

[@Medietos]

@gossimer3: I am so sorry , that sounds so very hard for you. I feel angry that you haven't got help, you are not supposed to feel and live like that. I think I have kept busy so as not to meet and feel all of mine. Tehy say we have to sit down for 15 mins a day and not do anything, but sit and meet our feelings. I "think" i don't have the time and the peace to get into peace, hahaha! Even though I thoretically know that the peace comes while practising the same. In the moment I am too worked up, too aroused to stop. Typical burnout craze. I feel better when I get healthy food at regular times, at least some 70% of needed Sleep at night, 30 mins. daylight, outdoor movement, good human connection, doing something for others, prayer and church, singing psalmsetc sometimes. Sometimes nothing helps and I can't make myself do anything. I think irtbis because of hope lost and isolation.Hypothyreosis as a response to chronic burnout,, Liver dysfunction, weakened heart energy, lowered lung function, Kidney functional damage. I want you to get through and get your feelings.

[@jimmyb3333]

I don’t remember what happiness feels like.

[@rubyinaraindrop9825]

When you are empathic life can make you feel SO empty because it takes so much from you. When your spirit still longs for a purpose and we can't find it, we feel bereft.

[@Sadune85]

Then stop being empathic but don't become a bad person

[@Patricia-ok1cd]

Thats me

[@magadiendor]

The "everything becomes a performance" really hit me. It's so exhausting. And if I do it too much people think I'm ok and expect thing from me. If I show how I really feel they abandon me or tell me to suck it up, everybody suffers, and quickly do the things I have to do, just as if my depression could be switched off like a tv.

[@glacey4906]

You and me the same

[@Cubelixa]

That's me as well. I'm so incredibly tired. 😢

[@Koushumii]

Yes we should be getting the lifetime acting award from Oscars

[@doctoruttley]

Agree 💯

[@LiftBTC]

Couldnt agree more

[@DoraMinoe]

I can totally understand that you can logically know you love someone or something, but not have the feelings.

[@fujitsu-no]

I used to make birthday and holiday cards as a kid for my mom saying "you're the best mom in the world". But in my heart I didn't feel it. When I was around ten, I felt like I didn't really love my mom, and I thought that there's something wrong with me, because how is it not possible to love your mom, everyone else does! Every time I would say "I love you" to her, it felt forced and fake. But I do love my grandma. She's my hero and inspiration to keep going. She has suffered through a harsh life during Soviet Russia regime, living below the poverty line, dealing with her husband going to jail, and still raising two kids and working every day, so naturally depression settled in. Subjectively I have it way better and I believe I can beat my depression too.

[@StephenBridgett]

I'm 74. I have suffered for 74 years. Never has anyone explained so clearly, so susccinctly and so poignantly the monster I deal with every day of my life

[@tinydancer36]

I'm 69 and existing is exhausting. I care about nothing in my life...going through the motions makes every day a chore. I'm tired.

[@martinkirk1]

@@tinydancer36same. I’m 52, every 3rd moment is one trying to decide if its all worth it

[@jedimastertrije6351]

34 and i dont know if i have another 30 years of this crap in me

[@judyogrady7886]

Agree. You are not alone.

[@skyelippert6710]

​@@jedimastertrije6351 same. 34 years of wanting to die.

[@arabellacox]

For me coming from a trauma fuelled childhood its a defence mechanism. As a child, neglected of love - i believe my brain said "don't bother, there's nothing out there!"

[@cannibalcatgirl]

You nailed it. I think that might be it. It’s like my brain turned off feelings to survive, but now that I’m safe I can’t get it back.

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

As a child I used to I smack myself hard in the face every time I began to cry because crying showed weakness among the redneck troglodytes I was forced to go to school with. Only thing that helped me regain my emotional self was hard and dedicated work in professional acting programs and performances. Oddly enough it was through method acting that I began to ReDiscover how to express emotions with any authenticity.

[@pambennett8967]

Life has always sucked . We get extremely brief glimmers of happiness and that's it

[@ella1125]

I’m a 19 year old girl and I’ve had this since I was probably 12/13. Literally everything I have done during my teen years was just to avoid scrutiny from my parents, like finishing high school with pretty good grades and getting a casual job. I have no friends, no relationship. And it’s weird because I deeply crave friendships, but then whenever I socialise with people I leave the situation feeling disappointed, self conscious, and drained. But somehow I still crave it. It hurts watching everyone else my age live out their youth having fun, having experiences, learning about life and themselves. It hurts rotting away in my room by myself and having my mum be my only friend. I tried antidepressants and saw psychologists for 2 years but it never helped. I get pleasure from literally nothing - reading, watching tv, socialising, eating. It feels like I’m crazy, watching everyone else enjoy these things and me not being able to.

[@sperez3275]

Literally same here. Especially with the friends… I think we have to “get out there more”… Which I’ve tried, all this year of college. Yet I feel like, maybe it’s me, but like I don’t have the immediate desire to like contact and hang out with the people I meet afterwards… It’s not that they’re not “good enough” for me.. but idk. I’m just not making like actual, genuine Connections with people, or I’m not meeting my people, my “tribe”, that I relate to and connect with… I’ve been thinking about it the entire past year, But I think I might just move. I see online as well the concept that, sometimes your location, physically, can ruin or make your experiences and social connection.

[@BeyondExtinctionLove]

Have you practiced EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), nicknamed tapping? Without explaining how my life devolved, I found EFT at age 50. It literally transformed my life. I began to feel again. I still practice EFT at least once or twice a week to stabilize myself. Brad Yates on KZbin has LOTS of great videos on KZbin, there are plenty other free coaches. When we have been traumatized in childhood, we create a traumatic adulthood, because it's normal. EFT helps us feel again, helps us rewire our brains to change how we respond. I'm 68 now and can say that thanks to EFT I actually enjoy my life, and now have the tools to help myself when I inevitably fall into the numbness I developed as a response to my trauma. And yes, I still do see a therapist, EFT helps me reset and shake off the emotional leeches that attach, it is not a replacement for qualified help to unpack the baggage piled on me by a severely abusive childhood. I cannot impress how much I'd suggest it. Just go to KZbin and type in "EFT ____" (fill in the blank w your feeling, "numbness", "depression", "anxiety". It is a practice. When you first start (I mean the very first times), give yourself time. Your first round of tapping will make you feel worse because it frees your buried emotions. You measure your emotions on a scale of 1-10, you keep repeating the tapping session until you are 6 or above. My first session took 2 hrs. After that, it took 1/2 hr, now it's only a 15 minutes reset. I will pray you recover yourself. Our traumas do not need to be a life sentence. ❤

[@debbysimon120]

You will pass thru this time, you seeing people talking to each other really isn’t a deep friendship, people come and go, sooooooo many girls your age are going thru the exact same thing. Believe me. So many people living this same place. DONT FEEL ALONE.

[@debbysimon120]

Omg!!!! ANETONDONIA IS MY LIFE!!!!!

[@jimschuman9926]

Most people are going through similar things as you. They’re just good at hiding it. Don’t be fooled by the “ grass is greener on the other side “ mentality.

[@MelanieDeMaar]

This is where I am in my life right now. I’ll be 60 in Dec. I’ve suffered with depression my entire life. Have been in therapy since the early 2000s. I’ve come to the conclusion that it never gets better, the medication doesn’t work, life is just filling time between naps. I take a lot of naps now.

[@UglyFaceOnAStick-iz8bt]

Yep. I'm in bed now. What is wrong with us? I changed jobs and moved across the country, bought some nice stuff for me, tried to make friends, and then I wind up in bed with crippling depression anyway.

[@annamack5823]

You have to find the right medication. Therapy doesn't work on biological malfunctions but the medication does. I was prescribed several drugs that had no effect whatsoever until I was prescribed the one that did.

[@Timayy]

@@annamack5823plz what’s the med name

[@Grendel-td5nf]

@@UglyFaceOnAStick-iz8bt56, did same thing with same results😞

[@pratikamatya5190]

@MelanieDeMaar Do u think going to a village in asia and homestaying to experience new life, culture, tradition might rejuvinate u ? I dont know u but i dont like seeing u like this

[@LoneWolf-sy5ht]

This is exactly what I am feeling every single second of every day. I did not know there was a name for it or what I can do😞. Everything in life just feels like a chore.

[@CamStubbs]

“I did not know there was a name for it” … right! I have been on a journey of self understanding for well over 10 years and this is the first time I have come across this term… wtf

[@GiegueX]

@@CamStubbs It's more commonly used in academic spaces

[@katygirl9221]

Chronic pain in my back and neck. There's nothing left good in my life. God, please either heal me or take me away peacefully in my sleep.

[@bunsenn5064]

I see my friends work at jobs they don’t like, and then go home to loving families and friends that give them the strength to do it all over again tomorrow. I work at a job that’s tough and tiring, and then I go home to nothing. This mental illness takes away the emotional rewards for the hardships I put up with on a daily basis. If I had good days and bad days, it would be tolerable, but the lack of good and the presence of suffering is consistent.

[@DrScottEilers]

I understand what you’re saying and I’ve been there too. But you never go home to nothing. You come home to yourself, and although that may feel like nothing it’s actually a relationship with the person who has the capability to understand you, validate you, and support you better than anyone else could ever dream to. If that relationship isn’t currently functioning in that manner I would suggest that this is where your main area of focus should be right now ❤️

[@truescotsman4103]

I'm 58. I've lived this life the whole time. I was abandoned by my parents in the street as a teenager. I never got married I never had any children and this is actually a blessing. I realized that life is empty when you don't expect anything of yourself and you don't expect more from life. I decided to live for me. I'm a musician and I like skateboarding and mountain biking. I decided to fill my life up with that. I decided to make my own health and well being my personal priority. I'll be my own child my own wife. It's not that simple and clear cut but you get the idea. I love myself. I have tons of killer toys to play with. I use stoic philosophy to rationalize and understand my depression so I can cope. I stay out of my head as much as possible because it's toxic there it always will be. My music and my electric skateboard and my mountain bike give me what I need. You can fill up your life and you find yourself distracted from the background noise of suffering. To me this is the formula. You occupy yourself with meaningful activities and constantly try to improve your quality of life. Do the stuff you wanna to fuck it. (no heroin or crack) Nobody else cares it's all up to you. You have to realize you're alone you just think you need others. You will suffer greatly from lack of human contact but you will learn to cope and you might be better off for it you can't know. You have to make the best of your situation. You're all you have. It is what it is.

[@truescotsman4103]

A little bit more advice. Take charge of your time and your days. If you have to quit a job and make personal sacrifices because you lose a job and a place to live maybe you need that to make you strong enough to write your own agenda in life. It's the scariest thing you will ever do. When you jump you're free and when you land you realize you survived. This is how I became my own man and stopped the cycle of depression and mania. I stopped dreaming and procrastinating and I started living for today. I go for what I want and nothing is going to stop me until my heart stops beating. How bad do you want it.

[@feduppatriot7647]

That’s me to , working myself to death . 60 hours a week sometimes, that’s all I do , only thing I got . No joy , no happiness, so why ?

[@jacquelineross5453]

😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@johnnyscorpio8522]

I would agree it is a side effect of depression. I think it's also connected to what they call Groundhog Day Syndrome. Everyday is joyless and you get to do the same meaningless things again and again. I've experienced it for extended periods of time and it makes life a burden to be endured with no hope in sight.

[@Bob-b7x6v]

"Every Day is the Same" by NIN...

[@cannibalcatgirl]

I don’t want to live my life like this. I take the vitamins, exercise, have a good man, try to do my hobbies. And I feel nothing. And what hurts most is remembering how everything used to make me feel. It makes you not want to do anything because there’s no satisfaction in doing a good job. Like the part that makes me human has died

[@klanderkal]

Wow,..... you worded my feelings and thoughts exactly. I walked of the gym lately. I just don't feel it anymore. I used to be so excited, going from machine to machine and being happy for the results !... I froze on the machine before. I just didn't want to be here,.. and I didn't want to go anywhere,... not even home. It's horrible. All because of a traumatic event, I couldn't handle, and made a personally fatal mistake. I hope we can recover ASAP!🙏🙌

[@DaRealistDG]

Same here. I used to have excitement and unbridled joy in life. And then one day it just vanished. I asked friends and family if something was wrong with me and they just thought I was depressed. I didn’t even know of anhedonia or that it was a thing so there’s that I guess. Every now and then something will happen and I’ll feel that spark of life but it fades eventually and I’m brought back to this pit of emptiness. I feel dead inside and I hate it, knowing what I used to be and the person I was, but I’ve come to terms with this and have accepted it as my path of endurance. Just know, even though you may not feel anything that your friends, family, and most importantly God loves you. Prayers to both of y’all.

[@carolmcdowall108]

Terrible life

[@debbiesday8270]

Wow, this is me right now. At least I know there's a name for this. I feel like a disembodied spirit just floating around watching everybody else live while I just exist. There's no point to anything anymore. After a forty year marriage, my husband told me he had been cheating for twenty years and that he was no longer attracted to me and does not want to be a family man anymore. Then he packed up and left. It came totally out of left field. This happened six years ago and since then I don't feel much. I don't feel joy ever. I feel like a ghost. I feel like I died but my body is living on. So...this is my life now. The worst part is nobody understands what I'm experiencing, so I can't even talk about it with anyone.

[@Grichal1981]

I think a lot of people understand, judging by the comments here, you aren't alone.

[@racheldillinger6881]

I understand and I went through the same thing, please tell me there is a cure? I've went to doctors they say I'm depressed? I'm like no I'm hollow and numb I feel nothing ,enjoy nothing? I even think about suicide alot, but I don't want to go to hell. I'm sorry your not alone tho I promise 😢❤

[@Looneybin]

Even the same TIME FRAME as me... six years. Some ppl' - I would venture to say that MOST ppl' - are wired in such a way that they are capable of finding either things or other ppl' to replace the things or ppl' who leave or that gave their life an Earthly meaning (I am a Christian, so there is a difference, but I disgress). Then there are ppl' like us: we found out Earthly purpose and once it was taken, the rest is like socks on the Hooters waitress. Once a catipillar has become a butterfly, it can never again be fulfilled in any way by being a worm.

[@Looneybin]

Depression is a big word. Our depression is usually CAUSED by something, it isn't otherwise with a lot of us suffering form this. @@racheldillinger6881

[@joysachs9032]

Your description is so relatable for me. Thanks for putting into words how I feel (though for different reasons). And take care. 🙏🌻

[@DGraham-i3y]

Narcissistic abuse can trigger this. Divorced from emotion, a form of despair and depression. I'm speaking from personal experience. I suspect it involves withdrawal from trauma bonding, which is probably similar to narcotic withdrawal in the brain processes. In both types of withdrawal, you feel like you will never feel joy or happiness again.

[@boomeradvocate]

I have been in trauma bond with my mother my entire life. It's always been emotionally abusive. She's 91 yrs old, and still manages to hurt me deeply. I do think there's a connection here.

[@James-mc5hc]

I am going through this exactly Abused used thrashed divorced properties stripped children coached to alienate me every thing is now empty.

[@shastina5493]

I got CPTSD from Narcula over 3 decades. Been a decade since and dealing with issues body and mind from it! Trauma is horrific on our bodies! 🫂

[@livebydesignlaurie]

Glad to see someone respond with trauma bonding and ptsd. Clearly, this is my own explanation. After repeated trauma and partner betrayal, you eventually stop trusting, and hence little or nothing brings joy. I don't even know who I am anymore.

[@rebeccamontague9811]

I never experienced anhedonia in my life until my husband unexpectedly died in our home a year and four months ago. I've been experiencing dual anhedonia ever since. My world is flat. My days are flat and grey. No joy or appreciation for anything. I suspect PTSD plays a big part. Since I was never this way prior, I'm hopeful one day the color will return to my life.

[@unkleturpis9253]

Finally, a way to describe what my life has become.

[@Rainbow-love-hope-shine]

I never understood this until going through a recent trauma. I think post traumatic stress can definitely make you feel this way. Something in me has changed. It’s like something is broken. I live in Lahaina Hawaii. We just had a major natural disaster. I was already dealing with stress before this but now I don’t feel the same anymore

[@sharynmain2432]

Many of us are aware of the devastation in your home land. And feel for you. Please find some one to genuinely connect with, and help carry each others ‘load’ . Remember to find solace in your day, for you… whether it’s hugging a pet, sitting in nature or … just being. Natural disasters can take a while to work through the body, it’s a grieving process. Be kind to yourself.

[@JaimzNichol]

I agree. A hurricane in Florida displaced me years ago. It really feels like a part of me died or has been lost every since. It’s a disturbing feeling that I can’t shake, like I’m always uncomfortably numb & idk how to make it stop. My heart goes out to you & yours in Lahaina, I hope you all can emotionally recover from the recent & ongoing trauma being experienced there. I really don’t have any advice other than to please take things day by day & to mindfully be there for the others who are also suffering around you ❤

[@grammyrosethompson650]

Oh my heart has ached for all of you in L. HAWAII since I heard of the fire. Am so sorry for your struggles. I know words seem empty but I guess I do tend to "feel" more than I knew because I have certainly felt very sad for you folks. Hold on and take care.

[@mjblue84]

Born and raised in Hawaii and my heart goes out to all of you guys in Lahaina. I cannot imagine what all of you went through!!!!!!!

[@rivenraven1]

That fire was extremely sus in many many ways

[@DMills-un1tl]

Part of me wants you to stop calling me out, but I’m also glad someone has finally described what I’m experiencing. Hell, there’s even a name for it.

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

You've just described my entire life. I feel nothing anymore. I don't know that I ever really did.

[@pratikamatya5190]

Oh no. 😢

[@amyt6254]

I am crying with relief to know that someone understands. Never have I ever heard this explained more clearly. Thank you so very much! This is extremely helpful.

[@DildoBorchiato22c]

Psych meds caused my anhedonia

[@chuck3999]

Excellent presentation. I experienced a traumatic childhood. Those imprints still have a impact on the emptiness that I experience daily.

[@jamezbrian4135]

agree, too many horrible things then I joined the USMC

[@brianj.841]

"A winter's day In a deep and dark December I am alone Gazing from my window to the streets below On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow I am a rock I am an island I've built walls A fortress deep and mighty That none may penetrate I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain It's laughter and it's loving I disdain I am a rock I am an island Don't talk of love Well I've heard the word before It's sleeping in my memory I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died If I never loved I never would have cried I am a rock I am an island I have my books And my poetry to protect me I am shielded in my armor Hiding in my room safe within my womb I touch no one and no one touches me I am a rock I am an island And a rock feels no pain And an island never cries" - - - Simon & Garfunkel; 'I am a rock'. My life anthem.

[@Ostipherous]

I wish otherwise for you.

[@sharynmain2432]

Seeing it written like that …wow. Hauntingly beautiful. I knew I knew it from somewhere and then the tune popped into my head. Music for me is a life saver. Having recently lost Olivia Newton John, Tina Turner and Sinead O’ Connor and their talent within the music world has been incredibly heart breaking. Strong and brave women in different ways that have opened the world for us younger (myself 52yrs) women to believe in ourselves more and allow ourselves to live for us, not what is conventionally expected. I took a detour - but music connects us to ourselves… when no one else can… or cares enough to do so.

[@Emilybeja]

I’ve said this about myself for years. My theme song to my life. During my hardest times, I repeat “I am a rock, I am an island, and a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.” After watching this, I’m motivated to turn things around. Thanks for your comment - I appreciate knowing others understand.

[@brendagoodman5078]

I remember thinking that this would be how I would live my life when I was about 13. A self fulfilling prophecy?

[@Rosemarysummers2]

❤

[@chriscampbell7776]

Wow. Severe anhedonia for last ten years, and I’m a tough sob, and this is by far the best description/explanation I’ve ever seen, which is saying something because I have had some excellent doctors and therapists. I’ve had major treatment resistant depression for 25 years. Compliant patient. Tried literally everything. Countless meds, ect, name it. Very good work. I would share this with people who love me but I don’t want to depress them or make them feel (more) sorry for me.

[@BlackieNuff]

This resonates with me so much. It has identified so much of what I've been feeling and living with for so long in recent years (about a decade or so now). Lack of interest or dissatisfaction with all my interests that I used to live and breathe for, now just leave me empty and sometimes wondering what I ever saw in, or got from, these things in the first place. Just listening to music and losing myself in it was the best therapy I could have ever had for anything troubling me, there was nothing that a good "music fix" could not conquer... but that has not been the case for a very long time. I still LIKE my music and have NO desire to just get rid of my CDs or files *I may as well end it all if it comes to that), I'm just not getting the same "fix"from them that I used to. I think it's cos when it was working, I had many years ahead of me, there was still hope and potential for the future no matter how crappy my life was at that moment, and the music was like an inspiring soundtrack for those visions of the future and the exciting possibilities thereof... but now all my best years are behind me and there's simply no hope, no looking or moving forward. The current state of the world contributes heavily to that, so I guess music (or anything else I used to find solace in, like karaoke) just doesn't have enough power to counter all of that.

[@DrScottEilers]

This might seem obvious but have you tried finding new music? Like REALLY new, different genres and such? Part of our enjoyment of activities comes from novelty, and all of the bands in the same genre tend to borrow heavily from one another. Sometimes you can listen to a song for the first time and correctly predict most of the notes because you’ve heard so many songs with similar progressions. I really enjoy your comments ❤️

[@BlackieNuff]

@@DrScottEilers Fair question, but here's the thing (with me) : 1. I already listen to a vast array of genres ; I was exposed to a lot country/western growing up (from my parents), and this included some 50s/60s oldies rock ; then as I reached the age of adolescence and was exposed to more social situations and peer groups, I learned of the mainstream rock & pop (radio hits & top 40 and whatnot), and soon after discovered metal (which became my primary and favorite), and as time went on I slowly began to develop appreciation for the other genres that I previously did not care for at all until they were somehow incorporated into the rock & metal genres that I loved, including jazz (if anything featured brass or horns, or wind instruments), classical (strings and orchestras), and even a touch of rap (lyrical delivery). So I think I'm covered with genres, lol. 2. Discovering new artists is something I have had to draw a stern line in the sand with, cos I am such a music addict (even if I am not listening to much of it anymore), the avid collector in me wants to obtain the entire catalog if I decide I like X number of songs by them (it can be as few as 3-5) it's like a sense of FOMO. It's just too expensive to do that, and, I'm older, so to keep acquiring new stuff is not prudent. I already have WAY too much stuff in general, and as per the aforementioned collector impulse, I still buy the latest albums from the artists I have listened to for years, if only for "the collection" (I buy the album, rip it into the computer, and maybe preview each song but rarely take the time to listen to anything all the way through - but fully "intend" to do so, "later"). So the short answer is, I have plenty of genres to put into rotation, and to branch out to anything brand new (to me) means potential expense that I cannot afford.

[@Wife_Mother_Failure]

Since Covid, everything that i LOVED, holds no interest for me anymore. In 2017, I had a heart attack. I decided that at the grand old age of 51, I would quit the smokes (went cold turkey and never looked back), lose the weight (20kgs- 10 more to go) and become an actress…. I was determined to do the acting because good little Greek girls do not do such a thing! But it was a lifelong dream and I was determined to make a go of it. Then Covid happened. It’s as if a switch has been set to off in my head. I no longer go to classes. I used to wear makeup and play with hair styles - I just could not be bothered anymore. There is zero joy left in my life. I rarely leave my house and I no longer care to go anywhere. The only joy I have is my little dog. When she leaves, so will I.

[@BlackieNuff]

​@@Wife_Mother_Failure Props to you for quitting smoking and losing weight! That's just a good thing no matter what, so I hope you are keeping up with that much, at least? I know what you mean about the damaging effects of all that covid jazz. Even now that it's over and it's been exposed for the evil scam that it was, I just don't feel I can TRUST anything outside of my home anymore... and even that is a ticking time bomb, as I rent a condo and these pricks are hounding me for a $250 fine on a "second noise violation" which they cannot and refuse to prove - because they can't ; I did not make the noise they described at all, much less on the day and time they cited (I was dead asleep). So I'm constantly on edge about what tomorrow will bring. I used to love karaoke, and always had a bit of a wee glint of hope that I could get back out again. But then covid wrecked everything, and even before covid, I've been away from it all for so long, that I've gained enough weight that NONE of my clothes fit anymore and I have to wear stretchy "jammie" rags (I call them rags cos I hate loose-fitting clothing, like sweats and workout gear). I've lost that glint of hope. I'll probably never be able to lose the weight, and my voice is so out of practice AND still a little ratched from some vocal strain I suffered a few years back ; I've lost my range, projection power, and control, I run out of breath so much quicker. But on top of all that, I also worry about the LUNATICS out there. Partly the radical WOKETARDS who still freak out about masks and vaccines and the ones who no longer fear the law cos the law let's them do whatever they want - unless you're white, then you're automatically guilty of everything. I'm in my early 50s and I was never much of a scrapper even in my youth, so if I go out there and encounter a "problem" I'm afraid it's gonna come down to kill-or-be-killed, and I'm not kidding. Even the "normal" people have become tedious and annoying. I fee llike I'm in some Twilight Zone alternate reality. I have probably experienced more Mandela Effect situations than I ever have. So I get how covid just sucked what little wind we all had in our sails.. and now our sails are torn, tattered, and full of holes, that even if a proverbial gust of northwest winds came along, it wouldn't matter anyway. We're all just bobbing about lost at sea. I get it about your dog... when I had rabbits, I said I was only sticking around for them. When the last one passed on (over 10 yrs ago now), I decided that there's nothing really keeping me here now, so I'll just trudge through life, keep my head down, avoid drawing attention to myself from "the universe" so it doesn't remember I exist and decide "It's been a while since we kicked this loser around...", but the minute anything BIG happens to turn my world irreversibly upside-down, that's it. And it came close a couple of times. I got evicted in 2017, 6 months shy of a 10-year tenancy that was immaculate save for the bogus complaints made against me by dirty illegal imported racists, which included the new management, squeezing out ALL the white people (not just me). Then about 3 years ago, I suddenly developed a bizarre skin infection that to this day I still do not know exactly what it is or what caused it (even the stupid doctors could not tell me what it was or what caused it... or maybe WOULD not tell me), and caused me so much pain and difficulty, it took 2 or 3 rounds of antibiotics to deal with, and it's still not entirely cleared up. Now it costs me a fortune in medical supplies just to keep things under control, and these "Bidenomics" and "Trudeaunomics" make the expense even worse. Just "going to see a doctor" is NOT as easy for me as it is most people. I already had to put myself through all kinds of psychological torture, and force myself to go out - first for the move of house, and again for this skin issue. It was a close race as to what would kill me first ; homelessness, a skin infection, or being out and about when I can barely handle it. See, if I did not mention it before, I'm a recluse with all that wonderful social anxiety and body dysmorphia crap, rooted in (or stemming from - possibly both) a lousy self-esteem and lack of confidence whatsoever, where I cannot stand my own visage, despise my looks, and am ashamed to be seen in public ; especially now that I am older, fatter, and lost whatever redeeming physical attributes I ever had (a cool, perfectly coiffed thick mane of hair, which is now thinner and so lifeless now). So, I can't even just "go out" when I need to. I have groceries and provisions ordered online and delivered, and pay bills online. I leave my unit ONLY to take out trash/recycling, and collect mail... usually scheduled for around 3 am, when no one is around. So, to make this long story even longer, I'm in a very precarious situation where I am just trying to "exist"for what few years I have left before I am forced to check out at age 65 - the age of retirement in Canada, when my living benefits get slashed to a pittance (cos, you know, old people can get by on cat food and wiping our asses with junk mail flyers). By then, I may as well just call it a life. But with all this post-covid damage and woke-world agenda crap, I doubt I'll even last that long. We have that bizarre assisted suicide thing here now, too... but that's probably a scam, too. I don't trust anything or anyone anymore. Anyway, I blathered on enough. I hope you are sticking with the lifestyle changes of no smokes and shedding the kay-gees (kg), and I hope something will allow you to pursue your acting interests again. All we have now are woke movies with woke scum like Rachel Zegler! Please rescue us from that! 😀

[@tmm226]

I'm going through the same things, I feel the same as you..

[@simonjj7397]

It's a peculiar sensation when somebody articulately outlines precisely the mindset you have. "Indifference" is an excellent description. It's reassuring reading the comments and realising this is going on with many other people so it's obviously a 'thing'. This has been very helpful because it's given me some explanation, some order and reasoning for this. I feel like I'm waiting for something, living in 'No Mans Land', like I'm missing some important instructions or something and I'm stuck until they appear. I'm now following your channel, thanks.

[@n1lknarf]

I live with dysthymia which is a result of anhedonia. The way I've found to manage it is by understanding that pleasure only has value because of discomfort, so I purposely seek discomfort whenever I want pleasure; for example: I deprive myself from water just so the water feels good, I deprive myself from sugar just so the food feels good, I do voluntary work so any unexpected retribution feels good. It's a great condition for a monk life. It also helps understanding that there's no reason to delete yourself everyone gets deleted eventually automatically, but there's also no reason to try any harder than the minimum required; that removes a lot of frustrations when unable to find value in putting effort. No one wants to delete themselves but the part of themselves that feels like the black hole.

[@evonne315]

Wow thats very eye opening thank you for sharing.

[@jamezbrian4135]

maybe that is why I over work myself looking forward to laying down in the fetal position

[@avertingapathy3052]

Did that as well. Sounds like some kind of philosophical lifehack of the hedonic treadmill but in the final analysis it's just masochism. Actually considered monkhood but it felt dishonest. In the absence of real meaning or real striving the suffering of monotonous labor and strenuous living is one way to experience exertion and therefore connection to life on your terms.

[@natalieg2976]

Well said. Very well said.

[@avertingapathy3052]

Then you must dissociate yourself from aspirations which could serve you, so as not to try hard. Some can only function in this fight or flight achievement oriented mindset. It's certainly better than complete resignation which is the other side of the coin if all you know is on or off.

[@charruz]

This here. This is it atm. For years now. I suspect the remnants left from Narcissistic Abuse trauma. I pray here and now for clarity of vision for creating my sustainable, progressive and profitable future. Annihilate the fears and Bless All

[@Trintrin20]

Didn't know what I have been feeling for last 4-5 years, has a name. I think it all started when I lost both my mom and dad back to back, especially being the sole caregiver during my mom's last days in terminal cancer. My dad refused medical help when I knew he was suffering from depression. I no longer want to socialize, go on trips, plan anything or enjoy things I once enjoyed. I have lost touch with most of my friends. My job does not feel interesting anymore either. Future looks dull. My only joy is my 2 cats. I am grateful for how I feel the love and affection in my heart for them, they are my reason to keep going.

[@kennethepps3425]

I've always described it as observing the world. I'm observing people, things, activites around me, but have no influence on them and they have no influence on me. I am removed. I've lived this way for most of my life. I've kept my secrets well. Now I'm at the point of not even caring about my physical well being. Therapy hasn't done anything and I find myself curating my responses even to my therapist. I really dislike virtual therapy visits and that's what everyone seems to be going to now.

[@Labn3rd]

Yes very impersonal like text messaging

[@anubiswerelupe]

My father has beaten all the joy and emotion out of my life. Not physically, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He is a school bully that never left the schoolyard. He can expertly cut you down until you feel less than nothing. At his job, he has brought full-grown men to tears. These are big, tough machinists too. Nothing I've done has allowed me to escape his abuse. I am almost 45 and my life has been without hope or joy for a long long time.

[@beverlykandraceffinger3764]

Anubis, we don't have the leisure to choose our parents...your suffering was real, but the narrative--the voices we carry within our own thoughts-- repeats the harm that was done earlier in life if we give too much credence to it. Hear your own voice. The situation was anything but fair, but you have the courage to change the effect.

[@Sadune85]

You can!! I did it with my parents. You have to use baby steps to say no. Begin with small thinks to destabilise him.

[@steyv]

Did u ever feel like whooping his ass? I do with my dad sometimes. My thinking is even if he may not like me, he will respect me

[@justinahole336]

Your description is reasonably close to my experience with anhedonia. My most recent bout started a few years ago - I refer to that time as "when the colors died." The only emotional connection that I continue to feel is for my kids (school age). I still miss enjoying food - I mostly eat to make the gnawing and light headedness go away; what I eat is what is least offensive to me. I stopped mising sex a long time ago. Given how long it's gone on, I've kind of come to accept that it's jus thow things are.

[@DrScottEilers]

I’ve heard multiple therapy clients describe the sensation of an absence of color during anhedonia. It’s something I’ve experienced too, although I didn’t realize it at the time. A few years ago my wife and I moved back to the place where I lived during my worst years. I remarked at how much more green the city looked and she looked at me like I was crazy and said “it’s always looked like this.” I remember it being mostly grey and brown.

[@steffenbrix]

I lost my ability to feel anything beyond a superficial level when I as 17! I am now 43...the most important half part of my life...totally wasted. And I long forgotten any feeling of depth and I have given up many many years ago. But I'm still so unhappy with this lost connection that it search here suddenly.... it came suddenly one afternoon as a teenager during a stressfull and a little depressive time. And the feelings have never come back. Any help or advice would be really appreciated even though I have lost all hope long ago.....

[@justinahole336]

@@steffenbrix I have an appointment with a therapist in a few weeks to begin trying new meds. I'll post if we hit on anything helpful.

[@steffenbrix]

@@justinahole336 I just read that ketamine has provided some real change for some.....

[@BlackieNuff]

"when the colors died" That's a very apt description. I like that. I may have to use it myself to describe certain things and feelings going on with me.

[@isabelltecaxco-yd3lw]

I'm 62 now and I've never had children and I chose not to because I told my mom if she wasn't around I would be too scared without her. Well she died when I was 23 and my dad died when I was 11, all my brothers passed away, oldest brother was 44 11/11/91, second brother died at 55, 5/18/2008,& then our youngest brother died 07/6/2015. I've lost all my friends gone, last one to suicide he was 64, 5/10/2017. My oldest sister died last year in July 15, 2022. Plus lots of nephews and nieces I am so lonely and isolated. I only have one sister left and she's 67 I'm 62 and we look at each other and wonder who's next? I'm tired of my life and all the losses I've dealt with and I have no Joy,no one who really needs me, except my sister. Dear God please help me! I don't want to come back here to earth ever again!! I want to be with my loved ones and all my pets I've lost...

[@janeokeeffe5297]

Sending you love light and warm hugs to you 🤗

[@CatherineBHopkins]

I watched your video about PSI about an hour ago. Your presentations are deeply insightful. I have been diagnosed with anhedonia and major depression. I've been suffering like this for 43 years, since I was 20. I recognise the factors contributing- untreated childhood grief; major injuries; chronic pain; depression....I feel like life has just floated right over my head. the way you just described "something bad might happen"as an element if anhedonia...I have always expressed it as existential anxiety.

[@DrScottEilers]

I hope you continue to find them helpful. I’ll keep making them! ❤️

[@alsogut3152]

Your description of anhedonia is utterly accurate and matches my personal perception of it

[@DrScottEilers]

I’m glad I could put words to your feelings ❤️

[@MansaX]

I've never heard of this yet it resonates with me. This is exactly how I feel. Just the other day I was like I'm tired of going to the gym yet I continue to go bc it's what I've been doing. Just going through the motions of "life" feeling meh.

[@alsogut3152]

@@MansaX This is exactly what I’m going through right now. The gym has at least somewhat helped me make my days more bearable. Now I have a lower back injury that doesn’t heal, I can’t keep training for powerlifting and have to use boring machines and now I have that emotional numbness kind of attitude even towards the gym. I still keep going

[@veronicaannland]

Thank you for this. i barely recognize my life. Every morning as I wake, there is a moment of home and peace, and as swiftly as I open my eyes that feeling disappears. i don't recognize my life and everything is wrong. I have become numb. It is nice to know I'm not alone,

[@klanderkal]

Same here. I feel like it's only me. We told by Dr. Scott,.. we have to continue on. 🙏🫶

[@thestruggler776]

I am 2 minutes in and I already see myself in every point. I was at therapy but it helped just a little bit. I just feel like I don't feel any positive emotions but I do feel sadness and anger. It's frustrating.

[@DrScottEilers]

It’s incredibly frustrating and it can take a long time to break through. I’ll keep making content on this, hope it helps! ❤️

[@freshliving4199]

Positive emotions are just as bad as negative ones. Most folks think love is a feeling when it’s really not. It’s a state of being.

[@caitlinshields3472]

Can’t this be ptsd?

[@doublehsword6508]

Same

[@lindaprince1179]

It’s nice to know there’s a name for it. I’ve had some very traumatic events in my life. Always suffered with depression as well and about 10 years after losing my daughter to suicide I was diagnosed with Lupus. Which there is a theory that lupus can be triggered after a traumatic event. I don’t feel anything anymore. I have given up trying to find joy and pleasure. I simply do what has to be done. Get up, go to work, pay the bills and do it all over again day in and day out. I don’t think at this point there’s anyway back to a somewhat happy or joyous life.

[@stevefolan3481]

Jesus, that sounds awful..So sorry about your daughter..I cant imagine the amount of sheer strength you must have to keep going. I don't expect this text to make you feel any better but for what its worth you got my respect.

[@jacquelineross5453]

💖💖💖💖💖

[@rebeccabrown251]

Yes getting up everyday just to be the same as yesterday is sad. I am not getting any younger and I have lived like this for way too many years now.

[@CMoore8539]

It looks like Everyone in America is experiencing Anhedonia. Ever since the pandemic hit, Society has Changed. Please keep talking Dr. Eilers! You were made for a Time like this!!♥️ You are helping us!!♥️👍

[@joanneurbanowicz4994]

I was pretty happy till about 18 months ago ( Australia) woke up.and not been myself since head problems as well.not sure if anything to do with vax

[@kseniafrolova4670]

Watched a few of your videos, I think I' ve never felt so understood before. Even though I get all the medication, have therapist and psychiatrist to talk to, have friends who struggle with depression like me, no one has ever put it the way you do. Thank you, it's valuable and important.

[@boomeradvocate]

This video describes how I feel, and I have been perplexed by the numbness I'm experiencing. Like you said, nothing brings me joy. I go through the motions, but have cut myself off from socializing and people. No pleasure in anything lately. Isolation started with Covid, then Long-Covid. Somehow I lost myself since then. Had to stop working from illness, and lost my sense of purpose. I know that the real me is still inside. So I keep trying...hoping I will feel joy again.

[@John-d9e4x]

I have this severely, post COV 18:17 ID, no sense of smell, extreme anhedonia, frontal cortex damage?,

[@k4TO_lols]

Cool name tho :)

[@Vv71780]

Keep fighting. Your soul is beaming through this message. If the desire to a better feeling is there, even the smallest ounce, you're better off with that then entertaining the alternative. Stay strong. Try things you used to do as a kid even if it feels silly. Something about that helped me find my way back.

[@Vv71780]

P.s. and I tried a bunch of things from my childhood, not everything stuck and that's okay, the things that did after weeks of trying reminded me of how it felt to enjoy things purely and it grew from there. Try to go on with no expectations and see what pleasant thoughts or feelings come from the experience, the smell, the feeling, the texture, the sound, the way it feels when you close your eyes and smile. Be a kid again, literally. It helped me.

[@johnwilkinson5910]

Hi, I'm John and 54 years old. I have suffered through mental health issues(depression) since my teenage years. I have experienced anhedonia in the past and still have to deal with it in the present. I just want to say thank you for this video. It is one of the best I've viewed on a serious mental health issue and I've see a lot. The video was very informative and easy to follow. It made a lot of sense. I agree that the key is not to stop trying to get better. Things may seem bad at times but, nothing lasts forever. The "real" you is always there. Thanks again, JW

[@dcpc5980]

I described it years ago as me being tired of living. Just everything is blah. Food doesn't taste as good as it use to. I don't really look forward to things. I was even thinking about taking a vacation soon but didn't feel like I would enjoy it so why waste money. I tried getting out and meeting new people and didn't get much out of that. I have basically thrown myself into work and I do get moments of satisfaction when I achieve goals. Also, my cat is cute and hilarious so I do get enjoyment from that. 🤔

[@DrScottEilers]

Cats are often a reliable strategy to break through Anhedonia ❤️

[@goshenqueen]

I’m literally about to adopt a cat next week! I realized that it was the first spark of unforced excitement that I had felt in a while and I really needed to encourage that feeling.

[@mrpitiful27368]

I’ve felt this on and off since I was 7 years old. I’m 54 now. I always felt like something was wrong with me. I’ve even thought just ending it all. At least I have a name for it now. It’s not much, but it’s a start.

[@gailland5308]

I understand

[@Thagy1973]

I have watched a few of your videos lately and I just have to say you have a way of explaining things to me that really make a lot of sense. I truly enjoy your content and I can relate so much to what you say and how you say it. Please don't stop making content. It feels like there is at least somebody out there who understands things that I am going thru, and you present these topics in a very logical and easy to understand way.

[@DrScottEilers]

I definitely will not stop! In fact I am hoping to start posting twice a week in December once my work schedule changes a bit 🤞

[@user-om5gk1dv7j]

I have been struggling with this for over 14 years. It has been gradually destroying my life. It takes step by step, every part of your life. Believe me, by any standards I had an amazing life, even, taking under consideration that complete lack of pleasure caused so much damage to my life, by any standards it’s not bad. The worst part is… it doesn’t take everything at once, it takes pleasure part by part, it’s like being addicted to lacking pleasure, it’s destroying anything else. We are driven by pain and desire, once you don’t feel any desire it gets worse and worse. I think the only part left is my willingness to be around my family but believe me, they don’t see it like this many times. The thing is, being depressed you may often feel overwhelmed and devastated but there are better and worse moments, with anhedonia forget about this, it’s like empty page all the time. You may sometimes try different things just to quickly learn that it doesn’t help.

[@tsundasphere]

I see these videos, and I see the length of them and think 'nah ain't no way I'm watching such a long video' but as soon as I click on I can't click off, I love it :) I love how passively you word everything, like a friend hearing you out on something

[@acidreign6944]

This happened to me when I gave up my bottle a day of vodka. For 3 sober years now this is how I feel. If your on a road to recovery expect this. It makes so much sense too. So thank you Dr Scott for articulating this feeling. But I'd rather feel nothing than fear, guilt, anger etc all the things I felt while being an active alcoholic.

[@klanderkal]

You just said it ✨️... I experienced #3. Traumatized 😮, a foolish mistake, and I lost my career job! My job was connected to my whole life. I experienced shock, and a mental breakdown. My Stress was extreme and uncontrollable. Anxiety prompted insecurities, fears. Depression sunk me into a dark spiral of dread. I lost all interests in interests? And no pleasure in anything. ... im not doing well 🥀

[@cl0wnsh0es27]

This has ben such a welcome revelation. Thought I was living a life sentence of numbness. thank you so much. you're doing great work.

[@TheDowntownHermit-xj6rq]

This is why I Am a Hermit.

[@NextWorldVR]

Yeah it is better to be alone in a way. I lived alone for years,. Now I have multiple roomates and I never felt more alone in my life. It is hard to live with people who don't really care about you, or even worse who merely TOLERATE you, when they are not avoiding you,..

[@sleepygirlmae]

I can't feel excited about things anymore, I wear a mask to hide my lack of emotions. Life feels like it doesn't have a purpose anymore, it's like hitting a wall and not being able to even stand back up. I also have a fear of intimacy and love, which makes it difficult to create new feelings

[@LiminalDrag]

I had such a hard time trying to explain how I felt to a therapist and they didn't pick up on it. I was at the point where I didn't want to go to bed at night or sleep in at all because I couldn't feel "cozy", comfortable, or take any kind of pleasure in it. Medication helped somewhat, but still, I have no desire to do the things I once loved to do. I think I'm stuck like this🤷‍♀️

[@DrScottEilers]

Sounds like you’ve never had a therapist who is a good match for you. I hope you keep trying!

[@mci6830]

Perfect description of my existence. I still go to work, clean the house , do everything for my kids. Even go to gym to stay healthy. I look at everything like its my job and have to do it. I think its just working 5 days a week for decades, combined with ageing.

[@constance4065]

I can’t believe how similar I feel to what Dr Eilers is talking about. That is EXACTLY how I feel just about everyday of my life but I did not know what was wrong with me. It is a Horrible way to live everyday! I have complete Anhedonia I think is what Dr Eilers said if you have both physical & emotional symptoms.

[@constance4065]

The more I listen to you, the more I want to listen to you. So down to earth & I like that

[@klanderkal]

Same here..... he explains things so well. I'm the #3. I had a horrible traumatic event,.. that I haven't been able to handle.

[@limeprime9059]

To Dr. Scott, Loved this video. Suffer from this pretty bad as a result of MDD. Used to get so much joy from video games, school and feeling like I’m accomplishing things (I’m working on my masters and just graduated with my bachelors in psychology) but now none of that feels like it matters and gives me joy. I have that purpose of doing it but it doesn’t make me feel accomplished or proud it’s just like “hey I did that, cool” and everything becomes a chore essentially. Even playing a video game. The struggle is real and it’s so hard to find that enjoyment. Thank you for this video. It helped explain a lot more. I’m working on my masters in mental health counseling and thought about getting a PsyD.

[@universetraveler2159]

I can relate so much! I also study psychology (master), and I used to love video games, reading books or watching tv series like Doctor Who, but now I just feel nothing when I engage in those things. I also lost almost all motivation for studying. I still do the things I have to do, like doing exams or writing essays, but I don't feel any joy when I completed something. I just hope that someday I will start feeling good feelings again.

[@Bob-b7x6v]

I can't remember the last time I was actually happy. Now it's nothing or anger...

[@spg77777]

Well, this shines a light on the last 25 years of my life.

[@Nicana68]

17:50 I could relate to everything you said up to this point. But after this timestamp.... I've tried all of the things you mentioned, numerous times. You could say that one of the final 'emotions' I have lost is 'hope'. Now there is only one thing to 'look forward to'. I have been attempting to get my affairs in order, but even that seems an insurmountable and pointless goal at this stage.

[@virtualsolomon]

I am very sorry this has happened to you. Many of us have heard the medication, cognitive behavioral therapy ,exercise, meditation, prayer remedy solutions a million times... Like you, I have not gotten relief from them. I have even tried TMS magnetic brain stimulation therapies. No luck. Never tried magic mushrooms or ketamine therapy but some people seem to have been helped by them. BUT, I am not yet ready to say that there is only "one thing to look forward to". Having a friend or family member who cares about you can sometimes keep the beast at bay. If you don't have one, try to make yourself get involved in some kind of community where you can have social interaction. Even if you are not theologically inclined, churches can sometimes be a good source of community. Being all alone with this condition is the worst thing you can do. Wish I could help you but I cant help myself. I would just encourage you to keep up the fight. Victory may one day appear !

[@janicecass2713]

At least you have affairs to get in order. I try to think positive, and if i meet someone while walking my dog, I'm bright and smiling, it's a front.because of childhood s/abuse, I'm scared to trust ppl so have spent my life Alone. I felt no one will find anything worth while staying with me. I'm pretty but most men only want sex, even at my age 58, I've only ever had young men ask for a date. They mean S**. But that's what i was used for from 5 to 13. I've often said why doen only see that in me. They don't care about how loyal, loving,caring, intelligent. So i gave up trying to get men to see me.

[@brandonwalker-l7g]

I have been struggling for many years seen many doctors. I have to say you are the best I have experienced. I know I’m losing this battle 96% of the time but even if it’s just 4% you your understanding, communication and personal truths gives me hope if only for a bit longer. Thank you for that.

[@jessetaub7458]

I’ve been struggling forever with depression and with this exactly as described. I have been self hating because I thought it was lack of willpower, self discipline, laziness. Vicious cycle of fueling self loathing and depression. Maxed out on meds in therapy and on meds since early teens I’m 63 now. The only good part is you care less you’re playing in the 4th quarter

[@klanderkal]

I'm in the 4th quarter also... That's such a long time for meds, and with variety?.. wow. I hope you can find some joy in the 4th! 🙌 ....

[@jessetaub7458]

@@klanderkal thank you very much

[@Sg4809]

Omg will you be my doctor? You just described what ive been trying to say for years, this is what makes going to therapy seem worthless, i have felt this way my entire life, it hasn't been a come and go thing and i will be 39 years old this yr, ive been addicted to opiates and now suboxone because it's the only way i can feel anything at all, i know it's wrong but at least i can feel something, anything to make me feel alive and like a human on my own without needing to mimick other people to get through life, i am in therapy now so after watching you i know i can at least get the right words out, thank you so much

[@DrScottEilers]

I wouldn’t say addiction is “wrong.” I don’t like mixing morality with mental health. I think it’s better say to that, in the end, opiates won’t be beneficial for your mental health. But beating yourself up about it usually just makes it worse.

[@lauraestes9304]

Same here. When i was 40 i broke my arm and it was literally crooked and i was given an IV dose of dilaudid in the ER and i turned to the Dr and said OMG what the hell was that drug? He said,"drug store grade heroin". I said to him" so this is what its like to be happy". Now 15 years later....i have been addicted to heroin and also am now on suboxone. The suboxone gives me none of the pleasure that heroin did....im trying desperately to get off of it Suboxone makes me feel like a machine.

[@chrissearcher3563]

Ive heard psilocybin therapy might help. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[@candyheartsart]

I feel this and I have a lack of support. Im 33 a mother to an autistic child, i myself have autism and adhd. I'm very intelligent and study psychology myself. I have cptsd from an abusive/negligent childhood with an npd mother and abandonment issues from my absent father. I've spent years working through this trauma and with meditation only to come to this point of everything you describe here. I know I love my child but i feel none of the parental rewards for parenting him. I'm told by many therapists that I'm a good mum. But i just feel nothing except negative emotions like anxiety, and sad. Or nothing.

[@luz1959]

The description you give of anhedonia summarizes my last ten years of life, after I had my first stroke in 2013. It's got even worse after my second one, last year. I just feel nothing. It's so sad.

[@monalisam1]

Finally your talking about it. this is about what is going on for me. I am fighting to keep going. It's difficult, specially when food loses it's helpfulness. You can be so depressed that you skip food and it is difficult to decide what you should eat.

[@glrinc7756]

I appreciate your transparency. I learned today what I was experiencing was called Hedonia. I have no desire, no pleasure. I tell my husband I have no peace or joy. I know I have PTSD because of ongoing abuse by a narcissistic neighbor. Doing things, I used to find pleasure in are no longer. I am in my 60's but experienced this in my 20's and 30's off and on. More off than on thank goodness. Now, it's every day. Unfortunately, my PTSD is triggered everyday by this narcissist. Until that situation changes, there is no "cure".

[@user-ry1vi1jc7o]

This is one of the reasons I have never bought a house. I always felt the need to be able to move quickly and easily if I had to. If moving would make your life better, maybe it's worth any financial loss.

[@Quadrant14]

Dr Scott, I saw this video 3 weeks ago, and after watching and reading more, I knew that I just was not just suffering Combat Related PTSD , with its components Anxiety disorder, Depressive disorder, Strees/Panic disoder and bad Chronic pain,,,,, I did it, I communicated with my Psychiatrist on last Friday and by Monday thisweek I was in a Clinic he set up specifially of Veterans. We spoke at length about Anhedonia annd my High grade Passive SI. After 4 days my medication is changing, and this is a safe place to do this, Appointments with Clinical Psychologist, and Mental Health Nurses { wonderful}. I may finally be able to go home and also use your book , I bought before I came to the Clinic. I now have or we are fleshing out plans here, I am going on a 5 day Ketamine Infusion drip. Thanks for the work you have done, your are a kind man, I have been told {being ex Special Foces} that I am not kind to myself... but anyway, thanks Chris Perth, Western Australia

[@thehighwayman78]

This is the most spot on description of how I feel most of the time i have heard in a long time. It feels like I'm playing a role. Following a script. Life us just hollow. Anhedonia. The beast has a name.

[@WheresBillie104]

I can’t believe you did not mention people who are in a dopamine deficit due to addiction and are in recovery. I think low dopamine levels are the cause of all anhedonia.

[@tomsakurai3620]

I tend to agree. I see that it's fairly common in the ADHD community. My ADHD medication alleviates the anhedonia. People with ADHD have lower levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. Stimulant medications increase dopamine.

[@pamelabarone5868]

@@tomsakurai3620 I think you are right. Same adhd I have not been taking the meds due to expense

[@Moneymagi]

Yeah hey he basically says that in another video There is so many angles to it so yeah your probably spot on there too.

[@EdithBrown-v2d]

After being in the Mental Health System most of my Adult life. I have learned more from you in two or three videos then from all the other Mental Health Providers i have talked to. I believe the reason you are so good. Is that you "Livrd It" Not just read about it..

[@krazykirl1129]

This happens with me when my life becomes monotonous and relationships are just superficial. The weather in winter when there's dark nights early and dark mornings. I also feel this when I'm not around inspiring people or places.

[@asheemmishra2405]

Feeling Anhedonia since a long time and I believe the quantum kept increasing with time and since last 1 year or so I am unable to do anything except eating, sleeping and other extremely necessary work. This video has helped me diagnose the disorder I'm facing but now I've to find a way to get out of this terrible place I've fallen into.

[@donna6376]

I stopped here because I saw the words and it's exactly how I've felt for the past 3 years since I saw my son hit and killed by a truck 3 years ago. I've been caring for my one year old grandson daily for 10 months. I just don't feel what I should. I don't want anything. I don't hope or wish for anything. I smile and hug, but don't feel.

[@klanderkal]

🙏so sorry for your loss,.. that is extremely traumatic. 🎉. Hope you can recover, enough to feel some happiness again. 🙌

[@millacolic]

All I can say is I am happy I found this podcast because I finally understand something that I never understood on my own. I’m happy you are discussing emotions and feelings that I didn’t know how.

[@jakelee7639]

Feeling nothing is a momentary break from fear and worry

[@lorenvaldes4829]

Just bought your book arrives tomorrow! You are the only person I’ve ever heard speak on this and it is me for the past 7 years

[@evonne315]

You describe it perfectly. Sometimes, I think I am only here because I have a strong sense of logic, and I know logically things can change. For me grief and loss erased my emotions. Trauma, excessive stress. Except anger I would feel anger typically. I didn't want to have sex for years, lost tons of weight because I had no appetite, lost interest in everything including music, the outdoors, friends. I felt life was a betrayal. Prozac has helped. I am currently upping them. It helped a lot with the anger, subsiding it so I could deal with the underlying sadness and be able to process it all better. But I still have no motivation. I wish I could be free of it, but it used to be a lot worse. And my logic side of my brain keeps telling me to keep going. Things can and will change. Thats the course of nature.

[@albertkinney8021]

Man I hate it finding a video that completely explains my life to bad it's not fixable. Chronic pain can do some weird stuff to your brain I use to be happy go lucky now I'm just going to keep that to myself. Thanks for the video

[@goshenqueen]

I feel a little silly sitting here with this big smile on my face because you’re talking about such a serious intense thing but my feelings have been dimming for a while now and I didn’t know it was a thing! It feels like certain dials are being turned down like food, work, some relationships, etc, and I just thought something was wrong with me. I guess technically something IS wrong with me. But I feel so much less alone. It’s like finally finding a mirror where I can see my reflection. I’ve just felt invisible and confused before. Thank you for this video!

[@michellepierce4716]

This is exactly where im at . Been here for 5+ years now.

[@johnbillings5260]

Have had it off and on throughout much of my life, but the pandemic and chronic pain have really hit me.

[@MicheleDamato-co7vh]

I've been feeling like this for 30 years, the first 5 to 10 years were really tough these last 20 not so bad, but I remember when I turned 34 years old, and I knew that nothing was going to give me any pleasure or joy in my life like I experienced since I was born, and man was I right...... some people peek when they're young and have nothing left afterwards, I could be worse off..... like solitary confinement in a supermax.

[@jacquelineross5453]

😙😙😙

[@TheErika711]

I am laying in bed another day....although ive lifted out of Anhedonia life slips back towards it. First THANK YOU I thought I just simply became dead inside but because of this you tube youve done i finally know what i suffer - I had a total of 6 losses over a little more than a year and it profoundly affected me the worse loss was my Mother we were very close. My body and mind just shut down

[@klanderkal]

🙏for you..... 💔 ... that loss is so unbearable. I know you're asked to be strong..., It's so difficult. I'm suffering from 3 losses in October,... then I foolishly retired from my long time career job. I realized 😳 what I done,.... and collapsed. I had a mental breakdown. My job was my life, besides my loved ones... I lost everything. I don't sleep anymore. My stress, anxiety is extreme. I sunk into depression. .... im really in bad shape., mentally and physically. Hope we can recover 🙏 💐

[@TheErika711]

@@klanderkal It's a choice we either survive this or we don't - but surviving I want happiness ughhh it's a struggle it's having a life now without the people that were happiness for us - we have to find new happiness but can we (?) I pray we do - hugs and take care

[@klanderkal]

@TheErika711 T.Y. ... Yes., we do find happiness. I'm still looking.! It's such a struggle, I had to call crisis line,.. for support. 🙏Yes, pray we do.!!!! 🫶🫶🫶🫶hugs, Take care

[@stevekopcial129]

I have this, I lost my whole family to Cancer in the past year, I'm the only one standing. My value system has changed.

[@Ostipherous]

Thank you for being so candid. Authenticity and vulnerability make everything beautiful.

[@DrScottEilers]

Thank you for the kind words’ ❤️

[@CodyHomes]

Jedi Code: "There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is The Force." This is the way, so say we all. That's become a very real reality for me, how I feel, how I live. I'm waiting until I feel safe, am self reliant, and living The American Dream. Thanks for helping me understand and verbalize what has happened to me.

[@LG-nn4tr]

Whoa how could I have so many therapists over the years but not know about this?? This is so helpful

[@DrScottEilers]

Sadly there are a lot of lazy therapists out there ❤️