The one person you should date

[@shimmerisle]

Not everyone can afford therapy, but being with someone focused on personal growth through self reflection is so important. There are also many mediocre therapists out there

[@duskshadow25]

You don't need to be in a therapy to have a successful relationship. My parents have been married for 30+ years and they don't even have a ring and never went to a therapy either. Yeah, they argue from time to time, but at the end of day, they forgive and move on because relationship is not worth lingering over the small arguments. You don't need someone else to tell you how screwed up your relationship is. If you need someone else to tell you that, then this individual lack common sense. A lot of these are just common sense and you just have to think about it logically and think on how it makes you feel or react. It really just comes down to how you communicate with your partner. If it makes you feel certain way, you need to advocate in a way that they can receive and understand. There needs to be a progression of changes if it's something bothering you; otherwise, it'll break apart. You don't need to go to therapist for these kind of things, unless you're both just mentally incapable of determining what's right vs. wrong to you and others. There's always friends and family if you want to look for a third person perspective. A lot of times your family and friends will tell you things you may not notice about your relationship, so I would definitely consider those as well. You don't have to follow and do what they say, but I would definitely take those into consideration and pay attention to the things they mention to you about your relationship. That way, you can look for those things when actually do happen and go from there.

[@Araretoy]

My therapist is I. Lasagna. Mmmmm the Italian sausage wrapped around the garlic laden mixture of cheese and tomato sauce... Yes. It's quite therapeutic and always has time for me. :) Ok. All joking aside, it is important to evaluate your relationship as it develops. Not sure if a 3rd person is required but you give out all good points.

[@avs172]

Fr, I need to be my own therapist

[@anonymm6809]

Move to germany, we have a good health care system and most people can fluently speak english, so you will get trough with only english in a bigger city

[@monkeysk8er33]

Not enough people value self reflection. I do it every day, because that's the only way to consistently grow.

[@Chadblock]

This just made me even more positive that I'm with the person I want. She's really smart and we both agree on boundaries in the relationship.

[@pez4]

Very cool Chadblock

[@moveon1830]

I'm happy for you

[@duskshadow25]

All those go down the drain when you're 10 years into the marriage and they fart under the blanket and you just gotta deal with it while they sometime also forget to flush the toilet.

[@chillaxTF]

Blink twice if she's holding you hostage and made you write this.

[@serenityssolace]

@@sleepyash00 It's humor dude. Relax

[@mrspinky13560]

One big thing I learned from my last relationship (which was fraught with conflict, on and off situationship, etc) is that someone who doesn’t take care of themselves (physically or emotionally) most likely won’t be able to take care of their relationships in a authentic or healthy way as well.

[@mollusckscramp4124]

Absolutely true. You can't take care of anyone else until you learn to take care of yourself.

[@godnyx117]

My mother told me exactly that on why I should not date fat girls. Great advice and it's true 99% of the times!

[@ForButAgainst]

"It's not unreasonable to want that in someone else" - thank you for this! I am in therapy (over 2 yrs) and I was in a relationship with someone who didn't want to grow in any way and I accused myself of wanting "too much" or having too high expectations. Now I know it wasn't too much to ask. I needed that validation ❤

[@finnkuudere3516]

I'm replying to you because no on replies to me and hey, you're worth it!

[@ForButAgainst]

@@finnkuudere3516 Awww, thank you!

[@mollusckscramp4124]

@M A T This is completely faulty logic. The old doctrine of "Look for these qualities in yourself, not other people" is an entirely outdated mindset and the breeding ground for toxic and emotionally unfulfilling relationships. Like Anna said, it's not too much to ask, and the people who tend to say otherwise are far more likely not to show up as self-committed in relationships in the first place.

[@mollusckscramp4124]

@M A T Also, don't demonise therapy. What are you, 60?

[@SheOnEarth]

How are you feeling after 2 years? I started recently

[@TowerJunkie]

I can vouch for it! My partner is committed to always be open minded about how he can bring his best to our relationship. I am as well. We each keep our individual wellbeing at #1 so we can make a stronger pair as individuals. We both had very codependent relationships in the past and were unaware of how toxic it all was. I feel the most free and at the same time the most secure within this relationship. Feeling safe for the first time at 46 was revolutionary for me… I had not been made to feel safe until then. Your insights and flawless wit are so spot on Anna! Thank you for sharing yourself with us!

[@dianapop6054]

This is beautiful, and I have a similar background but I’m still in the healing phase so I’m hopeful I can find something like this. Happy for you!!

[@tdesq.2463]

Sounds like You're living that which is affectionately referred to as: The Good Life. Good for You! ... Both of You! 👍💪

[@tdesq.2463]

@@dianapop6054 You've definitely got the right mindset! You'll get there soon.

[@ribby109]

Someone doesn’t need to be in actual therapy to be committed to working on themselves and being a better person. This can look like so many different things. Therapy is expensive AF and insurance if you even have it is so iffy. my partner and I can’t afford it right now but we are definitely committed to becoming better people and we look at ourselves critically every single day.

[@serenityssolace]

Exactly. Also you usually go to therapy to find help about problem you have with yourself or with your partner together if you are in a relationship. Someone who just has flaws doesn't have to go to therapy to improve themselves. No need for everything to be spoonfed to us. I think that's just a smart way to condition/groom people into thinking that only therapy can do that and so therapists make more money

[@victorledezma6652]

Agreed

[@JohnM-ch4to]

@Task Master isn’t that kinda like self prescription though…

[@serenityssolace]

@Task Master Preach!

[@Vivi_9]

I think being open to therapy or having a history of having had therapy is important when looking for a partner but looking specifically for someone who is currently in therapy?! What a dumb requirement

[@priyankadeyray243]

The only one I would date who has self awareness, who has growth mindset, who wants to understand his triggers, who is immensely empathetic

[@breh9243]

Yes!

[@alancheng6206]

I think being with someone who's self aware and is open-minded to changing is super important.

[@amara560]

A growth mindset is so important. A potential partner once told me they didn't care for self development. You are so right this person kept complaining about things that were in their power to change. This person also seemed to looove arguing. Glad that didn't lead to an actual relationship. Bullet dodged.

[@talideon]

The one thing to keep in mind is that we shouldn't necessarily focus on finding somebody who's at the end of that journey, but somebody who's making active steps along it. None of us are perfect, and the best we can hope for is people who are trying to be better, because we can at best expect that of others for ourselves.

[@Samellon]

Well said!

[@lyinbobbycottonseed]

Well said, and the key is that they are not just talking about the journey to improve, or reading books about it - you can actually witness it in their actions as time goes along

[@deburke321]

I love your perspective on things I feel like I’ve learned a lot watching your videos, keep killing it Anna 💕

[@DaedNevar]

i appreciate the self reflection these videos grant/impose onto me. i know ill never be READY ready for a relationship, but they help me realize im not ready to jump into one. im not happy with the current state of myself and how id be presenting that to someone else, im not someone id want right now, but i will be. in time.

[@goodgriefff]

Self growth is always happening if we allow ourselves to take note and thrive with it. Its okay to say you’re not ready to give your best self to someone else right now because you have work to do. Im cheering you on in your journey!

[@dandarr5035]

I've been in the same boat over the past two years. Although now, I have the problem of feeling at least somewhat ready to attempt getting into a committed relationship, but I have no clue where to go in order to get my foot in the door. It doesn't help that I've never been in a romantic relationship before, have rarely actively sought out such relationships, and have rarely ever been approached in this context before. Maybe it has to do with my refusal to use certain avenues of meeting people (Tinder being the most prominent one)...

[@psylentknight]

This is more proof that I've been on a better path of self-discovery than I've ever been. My person and I have grown closer because we're on the same emotional growth paths, and it's been the best romantic connection we've ever had.

[@michaelfedora]

I like how she's said "speaking kindly to themselves and others MOST OF THE TIME" I see what you did there Anna ;)

[@sealwhiskers3515]

Love this phrase self-commitment. My biggest reason for looking for that is because it means the other person also understands that it's not my responsibility nor do I owe it to them to clean up their side of the street. The biggest thing that I find comes out of that is respect for other people, to both not demand they clean someone else's street, and leaving them to do to their own street what they want.

[@Wannabe-Cyborg]

Thanks for helping me realize the last person I was dating was in fact emotionally unavailable, had an inability to take emotional accountability, and a lack of self reflection, because I’ve been beating myself up for months thinking I screwed things up when really, she just couldn’t handle the conflict that came up (and didn’t even really try)

[@shainnolia2882]

Same my previous relationship was also emotionally unavailable & he wasn’t committed to have me in his life. However, I hope you find peace & forgive yourself cause life goes on without that person. Also, there’s a lot more things that the world can offer for you rather than just one person. Just keep going & I hope the right person will come along! 🌻

[@MagnificentDeeProd]

Your timing is impeccable Miss Akana. I just started a relationship with someone who is working on themselves and she wants to help me grow in my own ways as well. I currently live in Japan (which btw, would love to pick your brain about Japanese culture if you're willing). Thank you for ensuring me I'm dating the right woman Anna.

[@grayisgone]

i like how these videos are weirdly specific to whatever dilemma i’m in at that exact moment in time

[@kylebluch]

Great quote I need to remember in my daily living is from I think Richard Rohr? Yeah We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking. Same for relationships like mentioned at the beginning. The best way to learn is to learn from experience

[@Alex-f6i4m]

love your focus on whether a guy commits to themselves and has a growth mindset. i sometimes pay attention too much to just how a guy makes me feel. you made me realize i should also focus on how they help themselves grow and how we can help each other do that.

[@Alex-wo1bs]

YES YES YES YES YES on the last two years I've been on two different relationships where this wasnt the case and all the points you said hit hard. I was starting to worry that there would be noone akin to me enough to be in a longterm relationship but knowing this specific trait to look for gives me so much hope, thanks Anna!!💙

[@laviniasnow4494]

“Daddy Squarespace” is the only expression in which I accept “daddy” used with that certain meaning. 😅

[@TrueGuyT]

You just made me feel good about myself. I do have my insecurities and I've never found love to this day (age 34), but I do answer almost your entire checklist. Emotional Availability remains my greatess weakness, But not for long.

[@emilys.heather5089]

I LITERALLY WAS JUSTTT ASKING MYSELF IF I SHOULD DATE THEM

[@yngstix]

Do it Emily do it

[@flamingaish]

what'd you decide?

[@o.b.c.6377]

Mee too, i really like her but she got all the red flags anna mentioned, but i really like her and i miss her all the time

[@emilys.heather5089]

@@yngstix imma shoot my shot

[@emilys.heather5089]

@@flamingaish giving chances

[@yiravarga]

Thanks. This validates and diminishes the fears I have with relationships. They do act as a mirror, and usually, it is facing the own self that is the most mortifying and painful. I don’t avoid relationships out of fear or conflict. I avoid them because I don’t want to see or know myself.

[@jenniferbates2811]

Please understand that our mental, physical, emotional and sexual health are ALL connected. Relationships with other humans are beautiful, but the only Relationship that is the most important is with yourself. "Successful" relationships aren't time based, because quality doesn't equal quantity. Relationships are about growth as individuals, then together. It's ok for Relationships to end as well. Every human grows and mature differently. A couple of great books to read or listen to: "The Body Keeps The Score" By. Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk. " Controlling People" Dr. Patricia Evans.

[@heatherclark2701]

My partner is in the growth mindset and I've recognized they are a great person to be in a relationship with. The hard part is I'm still trying to get myself to adopt the growth mindset and we trigger each other a lot

[@ryanciani3324]

what does a partner have to do with this?

[@jaygarcia6079]

Lots of people will say they are doing self care, growth, but saying it and doing it are two different things

[@goodgriefff]

Preach, jay

[@jaygarcia6079]

@@goodgriefff a lot of the times people will say what you want to hear to let your guard down so they can get what they want from you. I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to see them working on themselves on their own not looking for a relationship, after that if theirs chemistry it’ll do it’s thing naturally

[@mita8229]

I'm glad I got to watch this. It's hard for me to commit to a regular exercise routine because of fear that it won't make any difference even if I do it everyday, but this changed my mind. I want to be better for myself so in turn, I can treat all of the people around me better too, especially my wife. Thank you so much for this.

[@alicialloyd5537]

Triggered by all the points of someone that doesn't self commit because I absolutely knew that person and I couldn't continue to be around them anymore. It's nice to have a name for it

[@iczyg]

Compassionate resolution is a concise phrase I didn't even know I've been looking for but just found. Thanks!

[@paolodepetris7034]

Thanks for books suggestion at 1:02! Just added all of them in my wishlist

[@ArtemimiOCE]

Oohh I've been curious on what type of people we should be around especially in serious partners

[@Andrejr316]

Self love and introspection is the key 🔑 you have to find yourself before chasing friends or a partner 💯💯💯

[@MayAstrid]

This breaks my heart. My boyfriend doesn't have a growth mindset at all, and it scares me so much because I love him but I don't see any evolution for our relationship. I feel stuck with him more and more frequently.

[@MayAstrid]

@@kickseek no but can someone with a growth mindset have a fulfilling relationship with someone "being happy who they are"?

[@MayAstrid]

@@kickseek my question is: is a long fulfilling relationship possible between someone who's into self improvement and the other person not?

[@jasminea.1401]

"Partnership is a trigger city" and I couldn't agree more. And yeah we mostly like/attracted to someone with some familiarity, so we could see a part of us in them sometimes.

[@ryanciani3324]

this has nothingto do with partnerships

[@megamagicmonkey]

As someone whose whole life has been about becoming a better person tomorrow than I am today, about being compassionate, and being extremely introspective, I can say none of these assure the person Anna here is describing. I will end conflict with understanding, I will be there for you, but I am not there for myself. I am not actively growing (it’s very hard in a lot of ways!) I am not super motivated, I do not nourish and take proper care of my body. I hate to say, but I’m pretty sure that combination of all those traits is either a myth, or unbelievably rare.

[@nicoleshan6410]

I'm going to remember this on therapy... and life itself. Thank you,Anna!!!❤️

[@mellowwizard]

This really helps me reflect and examine what I really value in a relationship. Was so useful to hear in words what I know I have wanted all along from my other half.

[@godofdestruction3446]

She’s done and ready to settle down

[@ArtAnime5]

NGL this is the first time I've watched a YT promo. That "Daddy" Squarespace had me spit my coffee out

[@theillennials5263]

Partnership is trigger city, Baby 😂

[@lyinbobbycottonseed]

The way she said it was so cute

[@ArseniySokolov]

Thank you for your kind words, Anna. It's mean a lot, it's touching, causing tears of appreciation and gratefullness.

[@zoryaprilova54]

Your videos are free therapy for me and I am so thankful

[@ryanciani3324]

no they arent

[@LauraAmanda8888]

Ah so true. Thank you Anna for wonderful content ❤️ I found a guy exactly like this. Feels like a dream ✨️

[@igchannel2174]

growth mindset 100 percent!! people who has not that trait are so boring to date fr...

[@MrSmashmasterk]

From someone who had all of these things and worked hard with someone for 6 years, both of us in therapy and always looking up for how to be better humans in ourselves and for each other, that all the work eventually is going to burn you out if this is what your whole relationship is like. If your relationship is all about navigating constant triggers all of the time, even with the best of intentions you will both burn out at some point. My hopeful suggestion is to find someone who is self aware and able to listen, who also feels good to be around the majority of the time. Just watch out for the "perfect person" who will work as hard as you without giving up on the relationship, who is also not the right match for you. In that case the love is real, the work is meaningful, and hopefully you will learn from this that there are people out there willing to do the work who are not a great fit for you. The flip side is that there will be a person who does feel to be around with these qualities out there as well. Don't settle for the committed wrong fit.

[@candicefaithv]

ANNA YOU'RE ALWAYS SO ON POINT WITH WHAT IM GOING THROUGH

[@goodgriefff]

Its actually mind blowing how the timing works out to my real life situations….

[@n0_n0]

@@goodgriefff saaaaaaaame

[@Josh-Yu]

Everybody's situation is different. We don't really know what's going on on their side of the street unless they tell us. It's a nice thought to have someone willing to reciprocate and show up

[@robe.2424]

Therapy is very beneficial. I think the problem with our society is they often assume therapy automatically means someone is “crazy” but therapy is actually very constructive especially if you have issues trusting family with sensitive topics. I’m glad she covered this because it’s extremely helpful.

[@Ikaros23]

You can be 100% sure that the people who think that people who go to therapy are crazy. Are either judgemental ( assholes), or ignorant. That is this is the type of person to stay away from. If they judge others, you can be sure that they are going to also judge you. Often they also have self esteem issues and turn that same nagging voice on them self to.

[@JustJaySama]

I love the way Anna explains things!

[@enyapreston4629]

Dude if you ever decide to make a podcast that maybe goes more in depth on some of these topics I would binge the heck out of it🥰

[@werzzfdss]

Anna, I really appreciate how open you are and admire your desire to improve yourself! If I knew you irl, I'd kill for a date. You said it, no one is perfect but just seeing people want to be better than they were yesterday is super inspiring and attractive imo

[@SplishSplashdash]

Why would your therapist tell you someone should be in therapy just because you are? What if they've already worked through their stuff or didn't have stuff to work through? She's telling you to project your issues on to others or she thinks someone is going to need therapy if they're with you.

[@rnbwyogi]

Thank you for this message. Needed to hear it. 👍

[@Itsnateeephotography]

Wow I realized this help open my eyes that I should look for what I want in a relationship rather then the standards I try to hold on someone else’s when it comes to the next relationship

[@GoldChocobo77]

Took me a while to find the right therapist for me (3rd try) but now I did I can say it helps a lot. I feel like a therapist plays the role of a mirror as well as that empathic voice we should have toward ourselves.

[@gabrielegranocchia]

I strongly agree with you on this. Ambitions and self-improving are the most defining factor of a person, and one of the most interesting for other to see in us. I would just point out that the final goal is to have and express high ambitions and a self-improving mindset, a therapist can help getting there, going to the therapist should not be the goal, therapy is a vehicle to reach the destination, not the destination.

[@ryanciani3324]

a therapist doesnt help you get anywhere.

[@DaveKeil]

You're videos are awesome! well researched, polished, and approachable. The way you use the screen space and articulate is next level though. Where and how did you learn that? Is it like a news broadcaster training course or something? Did you intuit it after some other technical training? I'm actually shocked at how engaging, clear, and un-distracting it is to watch. It's too good. You have to have trained to be a newcaster or presentation coaching specialist or something. I'm litterally bewildered as how good it is.

[@melissabenito1376]

Thank you Anna! ❤

[@chen-ql5ud]

"the one person you should date, DADDY SQURESPACE" i snorted

[@jeremygusi9949]

this is what i needed. thank you 😊

[@fortune_roses]

*Yes!* Preach. Seriously

[@168mooncakes]

Thank you Anna! Well said and much appreciated.

[@jakegreen2409]

This is great, Thank you Anna!

[@jakegreen2409]

Oh, also: I think some Patrons got left off... but that's ok!

[@luxeno_]

I really needed this ❤

[@StockySnail]

You're very wise. I wish I could find a lady to date with your emotional intelligence. I've read some of those books and enjoy learning about those things as well. Thanks from a hopeful man from Portland. One day I'll find someone.

[@khiaratt]

It comes back to looking for people who are able to take care of themselves cause that means they will be able to care for other people too.

[@AUnicorn666]

personally im dating someone who isnt self commited (depression and dysphoria) but we dont argue much, its not difficult to navigate, and we communicate a lot (they dont communicate as well as i do but they do pretty well =)

[@hollys6299]

We accept the love we think we deserve.

[@snackdragonn]

Oh, How Not To Die is one of my very favourite educational books!

[@fran5237]

This is the best dating advice I've ever heard

[@chazzyloveee]

I feel like the datable people Anna described are the ones who are single because everyone else is broken and settles into relationships. I noticed that as I work on myself, the people around me seem less datable because they are not at the same level of self actualisation as I am.

[@Ikaros23]

just remember to stay humble, and not turn into a narcissist. You are just a human.

[@ToriTija]

I wish I could have known this when I was dating 5 years ago. Now I'm working to help my long term partner develop these skills since I've worked to develop them over the last 5 years. It's tough and putting our relationship in a scary place.

[@ItsAsparageese]

Beware of being too willing to help them. Not saying this is you, but your comment felt too deeply familiar for me not to say something. I'm prone to the fixer/giver side of codependency, and it wasn't until well after breaking up with my ex (long, long, long after our relationship had been in that scary place) that I realized I'd fed our problems by helping too hard and carrying all the emotional labor just as much as he'd fed them by stagnating on growth. We're both in vastly better places now, and if I hadn't had to give up on saving him in order to save myself, he'd be much less likely to have experienced the growth he's had now. If you're trying to teach a partner to care about their own growth, often the cruel and tragic irony we have to recognize is that helping isn't just sabotaging our own best interest (after all, that's easy to rationalize and commit to when we love someone), but frequently also sabotaging _their_ best interest too. Nobody gets any stronger if someone else does all the lifting for them, and indeed, if you're always by their side, they will (especially people who don't show independent drive for growth in the first place) often easily acclimate to the idea that you'll always be there and always lift for them if they don't feel like it. And before long, if they don't already have this belief, they're inclined to internalize the idea that they _can't_ lift the weight themselves, because they never have. Just food for thought in case it resonates with you or another reader.

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@Ezra-wy7ux Aww thanks haha I'm no expert but I've done a fair bit of study & self-work in this vein, I suppose. Interesting question. I think that, in application, growth means something different for each individual, because we all have our own unique combo of problematic tendencies & issues to work through. For me it's largely had a lot to do with emotional independence & better boundaries & realizing that having sincere benevolent intentions isn't mutually exclusive to being a control freak who ultimately does harm. For the ex I referenced above, it was a few patterns & traits that mostly came down to him needing to quit drinking, for a litany of reasons but also because he was really cognitively & emotionally impaired by it in a deep physiological-damage way that takes extended sobriety (like months to years) to heal. But everyone is different & so is every relationship. If you can expand more on your question maybe I can give a broader or more useful answer, I hope anyway haha, I'm curious to understand more about what your current idea of growth is & what specifically about the idea you'd like to explore more :)

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@Ezra-wy7ux Yo I don't have braincells or thumb-tendon-status rn to go on at length about how good your poem is (subjectively & objectively, it's very good, for real), but I read it, I loved it, I love that you shared it, & I hope you don't remove it. I'm not gonna tell you you shouldn't remove it, because your comfort zones are your jurisdiction ... but if I were magically ordered to decide for you based on my own subjective values & opinions, then I would say you shouldn't.

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@Ezra-wy7ux Ahhh, valid reason I hadn't considered 😊

[@jamieoconnor1916]

Hello Anna this was just the thing I needed to hear thank you for your honest opinion on people and relationships, I am myself trying to make myself a better man but am I unrealistic to want be in a relationship with someone because I a physical disability much respect 🙏

[@verydenise]

One of your best videos.

[@toobalkain]

I dated myself for a while cuz everyone said if you wanna get something done right, you gotta do it yourself, but not gonna lie, it's not as easy as it sounds.

[@clairemabutol651]

I'm proud to say my man is self-committed, thank you for the reassurance I'm doing the right thing. I will be moving in with him after 7 months and can't wait to be with him.

[@wjrasmussen666]

Anna, you are doing great work. Keep it up!

[@shemarlosscott2656]

Anna Akana You're The Greatest

[@emilys.heather5089]

This is a sign for sure

[@nosoynadaoriginal]

Insightful and helpful as always

[@strawdoll]

Loving your recent videos :D Good subject matter!

[@SoulMission777]

Absolutely love your content, thanks for sharing your knowledge und wisdom with the world ❤❤❤

[@Daft_Sage]

My gripe with the self improvement is that it presumed there is an optimal way of being. I think there is a way of being for you that helps you get more out of life. But that is a personal journey. If someone likes all aspects of their life now, there is no reason they should be on a self improvement journey. They should still be open to the possibility of improvement. Think of it like a person that has a really good idea of how to make delicious meals. They should enjoy their own food without constantly critiquing ways in which its not perfect. But if someone comes along with a tip on improving, they should be willing to give it a try.

[@ichigouchiha7209]

Thanks for the wisdom anna💕 love u

[@clau_sing_]

Also someone who is willing to call you out on your unhealthy patterns

[@willyct207]

Love you Anna!!!

[@moveon1830]

by reading the comments I realise I wasn't crazy to have selfdoubt and to always thrive to get better and seeking for exterior knowledge.

[@vtr0104]

You going through all those negative traits had me listing them off like Bingo. It's why I've made my GFs life so difficult :(

[@goodgriefff]

Its good to be aware, but don’t stop yourself there, take it with stride to work on the things you notice you can do better, or things you want your true-self to be. You don’t have to wait til tomorrow, you always got today. 🤎

[@vtr0104]

@@goodgriefff Thank you, supportive Internet lady! I'm trying, I'm reading some self-help books, I'm going along with more of her suggestions instead of always finding excuses, I'm eating more salads.... I hope it's not too late though, we've been together 15 years and I feel like for most of it she was probably miserable and only came out to me about it a couple of years ago :(

[@fulltimeweeb]

I'm committed to becoming a better person each and every day and staying single till the one shows up. I'm done chasing. Stay safe everyone!

[@matfudge1143]

Most people want to improve themselves or their situation. It's just that some people do it without thinking about others or the effect of the behavior or action, good or bad as long at it helps them first. "Not all self improvements are good for others" like the lover that steals your heart to improve themselves and devalue you. Just because someone is going to therapy doesn't mean they are trying to self improve. Although yes it can help people break down inner thoughts or events in their lives. Doesn't mean that person is using it for that.

[@evedotcom]

Yeah, obviously just going to therapy alone isn't enough. The type of person you describe doesn't sound like someone who is self-committed. Conflict and triggers in relationship are inevitable so how they respond then will be a better measure of how self-committed they are. As well as all the other things Anna mentioned.

[@JustKylie]

æi could not have said this better myself. Thank you, everyone needs this message of yours!

[@jeenatekwani3299]

I am a psychology student, and just yesterday my class mates were laughing and saying "we are gonna make money by just listening to people" I personally found that so wrong, thanks Anna for this free valuable information

[@henryholsten8802]

Validation isn't always free, as long as they do their job you should stop being so self righteous

[@nowthenzen]

I am a totally committed person! But as soon as I answer the question right the doctors say they will let me out!!

[@queenieevergreen]

Yeah… no. you’re asking for too much in another person… lol. You described the perfect person. So many selfless people are excellent partners.

[@EnvyTraxus]

thnx for spreading the word abt me anna

[@anthonynhoy8653]

Thanks for sharing!

[@awesomeadamfrom2099]

Awesome job Anna

[@IiOnna222]

Therapy is a must.