Do You Have To Come Out To Your Friends? (r/AmITheA**hole)

[@junoestro]

i f arted :(

[@AnnamarieForcino]

what the frick

[@marrrra]

lets go queen king captain

[@decayingfairy3996]

: (

[@princessonpu]

oh noes

[@Dangerous.little.carrot]

Icon

[@strangejune]

My heart goes out to all the lesbians who just learned they can't have female friends, all the gays who just learned they can't have male friends, and all the bisexuals who just learned they can't have friends.

[@kayenjee]

So this is why I can't have friends 😅

[@ChaoticWatcher]

​@@kayenjeeright? It's not because I'm socially awkward, it's because I'm bisexual!

[@mollymoynahan538]

My ex partner said that I made his life worse for being bisexual because now he can't trust me to have friends. Needless to say that relationship crashed and burned.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

@@mollymoynahan538 biphobia is so wild because it's always projection. and nah the only reason why his life sucks is because he's an insecure bigot.

[@haybale287]

​@@mollymoynahan538 YIKES

[@stackerz3332]

"why didn't you tell me you were a lesbian? I would have treated you differently" hmmm, maybe that's why 🤔

[@rachael8087]

literally... they're so close to getting it

[@MDNELLEY]

I fully expected the next line to be, “I would have treated you different. I wouldn’t have talked so much about guys or tried to set you up with so&so.” The “I wouldn’t have changed clothes in front of you” shocked the shit out of me! I thought the younger generation was more aware & accepting. Poor girl. I hope she get better friends.

[@lxmesoda]

​@@MDNELLEY that kid will be more accepting as he grows (probably)

[@Romanticoutlaw]

​@Mary Bean these kinds of people always assume anyone who technically could be attracted to them is and then get bent out of shape when it's proven false. Like, honey, I'm an omnisexual, I'm attracted to literally every gender presentation. But _you?_ Don't flatter yourself 😂

[@llamaturtle6979]

My parents:

[@mars_is_cooler]

I don’t come out to people, I leave it up to them to solve it like a terrible murder mystery

[@starparodier91]

I’m doing this from now on

[@decayingfairy3996]

lmao hell yeah

[@pencilpauli9442]

Erm... Colonel Mustard is the gay person in the billiard room with a candlestick? Or maybe the candlestick is gay, like in Disney's Beauty and the Beast... I'm not very good at this am I...😓😓

[@missdoirpy2870]

​@@pencilpauli9442 you weren't far off but it's actually the study. You're clearly underestimating yourself because you're much better at it than you think! 👍👍

[@taraboii7358]

Same. I look like if Timothee Chalamet got a makeover by Ken. I'll just leave it at that.

[@Mandrake_root]

When the dad says “please don’t insult my wife and call her weak or a baby” honestly is so sad because I bet his friends were calling her those things.

[@tay1064]

I think it’s more likely that he just knew how Reddit might take the story into the wrong perspective, and less that they call her those things haha that’s a bit of an assumption

[@letterborneVods]

If they were already upset about him leaving to take care of his wife and newborn … probably, yeah. Should get better friends.

[@ponyo3922]

idk Reddit can be unpredictable and very misogynistic sometimes. I can totally see the incel and alpha bro dudes on there being unreasonable and rude to her. can't assume everyone on the internet is going to have the same opinion as you even if it seems like common sense like this one. while I agree he was in the wrong for pouting about not having his friends over, I appreciate that he asked everyone to be respectful towards her

[@cc-x3]

​@ponyo3922 agreed!! She sounds like she might have separation anxiety which doesn't make her a controlling person or a crybaby, she just may have some stuff to work out. I only know because I used to have it and I got VERY sensitive when people weren't happy to be around me when I needed them

[@Acinnn]

To me it feel like he sort of understands it's painful to give birth and it's lot if work to take care of the baby while mom still healing. But still in his mind she is the one in charge of the care .. the active parent.. and he us there whenever she needs him. .. the passive parent. He just seems much less invested in the parenting of the baby.

[@ladynoluck]

I love how she probably came out like, “I’m a lesbian, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was worried that some of you might react badly.” And, then, the “friend” and “friend” group immediately proved that she was right to be worried. 😡

[@colonelweird]

As a cis man, I felt a surge of relief and pride when that father understood basic biology and defended his daughter. For once, we did the right thing! A rare victory in the common sense department!

[@AnnamarieForcino]

big W for your community!

[@slowlanegamer]

I mean yea honestly it’s crazier that the older mother in law who had daughters was oblivious to this information 😰… but yea it’s normally the men who have no idea how women’s bodies work for some weird reason! The amount of stories from my women friends and ex-girlfriends in the past of how poorly educated men/bf or husbands are about a ladies body blows my mind! Someone needs to be teaching these people clearly 😅

[@Weird-to-the-core]

@@AnnamarieForcino I was really dumb as a kid and I wiped in and at a young age had bladder issues because of it. Still affects me to this day. That grandma better hope she didn't fuck up her grand daughter's health.

[@thisisanaccountalright]

Well it's a great day to be aroace then 🤣

[@BakedBrain7100]

@@slowlanegamer no no she knew what she was doing wasn’t right and what she was saying wasn’t true 100% it was a form of control. Narcissists do shit like that. They’re practically insane.

[@kseniav586]

Of course you're supposed to tell people if you're a lesbian. I announce my bisexuality every time I meet new people. It's on my business card, too. This way they know I'm a threat not only to them, but their loved ones, colleagues and friends of all genders. Otherwise it's just not fair.

[@winniejung]

exactly! gotta tell the dude in my job interview I wake up in the morning at 9am and not 5am because I don't wanna put them at risk of a nuclear war

[@GoingSwimmingly]

Love the joke but like, some ppl out here acting as if your queerness isn’t gonna be brought up against you if they’re homophobic enough ^^” I think even anyone who’d tried gaming with pronouns in their discord gets shit on lol Got em tho bc I can pass for a young boy since my voice is so goddamn low, and I frankly would like to girlboss anytime I can

[@Youarewhatyoueatsonic]

Perks of being bi or pan

[@kayenjee]

I fucking love this comment so much

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

​@@GoingSwimmingly as a gamer I fucking hate those people. I wish they would find another hobby, preferably one that requires solitude and silence. They're the reason I tend to play online games alone and with no mic. It sucks when you meet someone and think they're cool, and then the Nazi shit starts coming out. I've been burned one too many times. It's just easier avoiding getting attached to people anymore. I hate it, but that's how I feel. I also know I'm a very strange person in real life so my opinions are not necessarily held by the vast majority of others.

[@Tac0bellhipster]

My mom once told me that she wished I knew I was gay when I was a child so that she could protect the girls I had sleepovers with. I told her that I'm gay, not a predator and she said I just don't understand her desire to protect people 🙃🙃

[@TheaterCryptid]

What would she have done? "Oh no your daughter can't come sleepover because mine is gay and you know... It's dangerous."

[@maruguida8056]

That's so fucked up I'm so sorry

[@galuxius1861]

I hope any guy friends you brought over knew your mom was straight, so you could protect the little boys!

[@ConstantChaos1]

So like where does she live? I just want to talk... with a claymore (I mean the sword not the explosive that would be too merciful)

[@stegothedino]

that’s horrible, i’m so sorry

[@doodleder9651]

The guy in the last story was trying to shame Hannah into going out with him. he got his answer and he kept pushing. The subtext is "I'm a great guy and your a bitch if you say no in front of everyone" he got what he deserved, if he didn't want the real answer then don't ask it in front of everyone. You don't get the privilege of being pulled aside to save face when your the one shoving the situation into the spotlight.

[@karlitatv]

Same with people who propose in public 🚩🚩🚩

[@ginbug7061]

One of the worst parts of coming out as Bi was having literally every straight girl assume I was attracted to them. One of the best parts of coming out as Bi was getting to tell them I didn’t find them attractive at all and that they are not special ✨

[@theshire9173]

I didn’t realize that I was respectful when my friend came out to me as gay. I didn’t really think anything of it and awkwardly tried to go back to the conversation we were having. I had no idea what to say to her “I’m gay” because I’m not a narcissist who assumes that she must be attracted to me.

[@DeathnoteBB]

It’s so funny cause they get mad about you ostensibly being attracted to them, but get even MORE mad when you assure them you’re not 😂

[@karlitatv]

That's hilarious, like I never understood why they feel so offended you didn't tell them but also get offended you're not their type when they never wanted to be your type in the first place because they're not gay🧍 straight logic always outstands me

[@sadsadtearsofaclown859]

@@karlitatvit’s giving “I could kiss a girl but I could never date one 😣” 😐

[@millie..]

I HADNT EVEN OFFICIALLY SAID I WAS LESBIAN BUT ONE DAY I WAS EATING A HOTDOG SND MY MOM SAID "its funny how much you like hotdogs considering you dont like weiners" OR SMTH LIKE THAT IT WAS HILARIOUS

[@Firebrace]

This reminds me of a vaguely similar story. I was having lunch and a guy comes up to me. He says he's been taking psychology classes and wants to know if he can ask me some questions as like a test of something he's learning in class, and I say yes. He would say to me statements and I would respond yes or no. Started with simple questions, colors, pets, asking about my classes. Then came the question I will never forget my answer to. He asked, "You like girls?" I thought for a moment, but my innocent naive brain went 'I mean. I don't dislike girls. I have friends who are girls, and I am a girl so,' I answered awkwardly, "I guess, yeah?" And he jumps for joy saying he's never gotten that one right before. As he starts explaining the point of the test *explained below*, I stare at him silently and think about that question longer. It takes me several minutes to realize he wasn't asking if I liked girls in general, but if I romantically liked girls. I basically said, 'yes, I'm a lesbian,' to this random stranger without thinking. And I didn't want to correct him that he was probably wrong (I was in denial for a long while) because he was so happy about getting this one correct for the first time since he started doing these tests. Worst part is that THIS incident, is what started the journey getting me from questioning to confirmed lesbian. So some random guy out there discovered I am lesbian before I truly did. *Iirc the whole idea of the test was that questions are spoken in a way that's never in confirmation, like he's not completely sure about it. But when I say yes or no, he responds in a way that's meant to gaslight me into believing that he knew these things about me as well. It would make him look psychic, trustworthy or knowledgeable if done correctly. I never looked it up and it's been years since this happened but I still can't believe what I said.*

[@genderfluidlygay7146]

LMFAOOOO. Ur mom's a real one😂❤.

[@karlitatv]

Lmao

[@xd._.28234]

😭🙏🏻

[@YaelTiferet]

...if you're from Australia I used to know your brother, because that is almost exactly the story he told me about his sister.

[@carocarocaro]

I’m very visibly queer, if people meet me and can’t tell, then it’s on them at that point

[@reckless_herb]

saaaammmmee

[@SkwithOv]

same.... never told my parents, i just dyed my hair rainbow and wore an entire rainbow outfit one day if they haven't figured it out in the decade since then, that's on them

[@HunterSlingbaum]

exactly! a great byproduct of my pink hair is that people that would be issues usually excuse themselves first☺️

[@rowanquynn9964]

I don't trigger the gaydar most of the time (I'm asexual, and biromantic I blame it on that lol) but I figure everybody should assume queer until told otherwise

[@somedude172]

same here.. tbh didnt even tell my grandparents, who i live with, that im trans, i just started binding and then eventually packing and using an STP when we go camping and stuff. i wasnt sure if they had figured it out yet until i was talking about my partner's family and my grandma asked me "do they know youre....?" lmfao

[@ThatHawksSimp]

The fact that “no” on it’s own wasn’t enough for “Mason” to back off makes me think he absolutely needed the public humiliation

[@norascarletempress]

The rule proves itself again, if he has to say that he is a "nice guy", he definely isn't.

[@AnneOmimus7531]

@@norascarletempress there's some incel warning signs there.

[@RABBYKx]

I had the opposite happen: I'm a cis woman and my best friend in school came out as a lesbian, cut me out completely and we reconnected about 5 years later, we hung out and she confessed she was so scared I'd hate her for being gay that she decided to end the friendship before I could. I was devastated. 20 years later (from starting being friends) we're still friends today and I've never felt that ridiculous stigma of "her hitting on me"

[@Stormada14]

Replying wayyyy later, but one of my close friends in school was scared to tell me because I’m religious and straight and stuff but ye since then I’ve wanted to be like a safe place for all of my friends to be who they are. She did tell me eventually, and we remained close until she switched schools

[@jordanlavers9316]

I immediately stopped feeling any respect or sympathy for Mason the second Hannah told him no and he heard “convince me”. Anyone who tries to coerce someone for any reason deserves to feel ashamed of themselves. Not to mention, why would you even want someone when you know they aren’t interested, it would only hurt you in the long run to know that person wasn’t interested in the first place but dated you out of pity

[@arianam6430]

The way he made it a big show in front of the class was a big ick to me. He clearly hasn't talked to her before- asking a bunch of questions to the friend prior. Didn't take the advice- cause it wasn't a hint. He didn't need to know she's a lesbian. Her friend said nah and he could've left it at that. Then to ask her anyway in front of a crowd just seems off. Like even if she was straight but he still wasn't her type anyway, just seems like a way of public pressuring her to agree. He could have easily just talked to her and gotten to know her more first.

[@I.C.Weiner6969]

@@arianam6430definitely agree about the public pressure thing!

[@karlitatv]

Sounds like graping behavior in the making, and it's terrifying to think men have that mentality since such a young age.

[@roselover411]

What got me on the bill issue is that the girlfriend ALONE made up nearly HALF the bill! That's excessive for anyone!

[@alysiaa.]

yeah if one person eats half the bill covering 8 ppl, they’re doing wayyy too much

[@lilyayn5185]

@@alysiaa. literally the fact that 7 other people were a little over the amount she as one person spent

[@RealBradMiller]

lEt'S jUsT sPlIT iT.

[@bee.ok666]

also the fact that this was apparently the poster's first time meeting her makes it worse to me. making somebody who's practically a stranger pay £100+ for your food??? that's insane.

[@SweetSelune]

Also it was op's first time meeting her too definitely makes it feel like she is the AH not op.

[@imissimeem]

In the last story, the friend explicitly told him that he wasn't her type and that she wouldn't want to date him. She shouldn't have to disclose her friend's sexuality to get the guy to respect this, its insane that he heard that and was like "Yeah, but I'm too awesome, so she'll say yes anyway." Honestly seems like the type of person who would assume that even if she was a lesbian she'd make an exception for him. (this is hyperbole, just fyi)

[@PumpkinRiku]

That's what I thought! And then he didn't back down when the girl rejected him, either. He really thought he could convince her. Kid needs to learn to take no for an answer, and that there doesn't have to be a "reason" like sexuality.

[@paulhammond6978]

@@PumpkinRiku Yeah, it sucks that he did the sulky comeback on the friend, because he felt embarrassed about how he behaved, and it made the friend question herself so much that she posted the comment. I mean, she did her best to put him off gently without outing her friend without permission.

[@theshire9173]

It’s so annoying that not only did he refuse to take the advice of her friend (because even if Hannah were strait that doesn’t mean she’s into any guy who asks her out) but he also asked in public in front of a crowd. As an aro-ace person, I’ve never understood why anyone would do that without a guaranteed yes (like asking your partner to prom). If the person you ask doesn’t actually want to date you then they’d either reject you in front of everyone or feel pressured to be “nice” by accepting your proposal and then tell you the truth later (I did this once, I didn’t want to hurt the guys feelings in front of the entire class).

[@astralcamisado648]

@@theshire9173 The reason some (not all, but some) people do that is because the other person might feel awkward or embarrassed rejecting them, or because rejecting them might make that person seem like an asshole when they went to all that effort.

[@theshire9173]

@@astralcamisado648 So that confirms my suspicions that asking someone out in front of a crowd is a manipulation tactic

[@Tuttifrutti1134]

As a Midwife student on the first post: Most bodily healing usually takes the first 6 Weeks after birth to complete (where we still are in the post). But for the baby it's completely fine to have people over (often a lot of family visits already in the first week!) you just should wash your hands before touching the baby. But otherwise it should be fine if it's healthy. The focus here should really be on the mother and how she is feeling mentally and physically because most people at this point maybe want family over but not random friends of the partner. And if she is not feeling comfortable with it, the husband shouldn't reach over her limits like that.

[@Tuttifrutti1134]

Oh yeah and I am studying and working in Germany so that's just my knowledge from here :)

[@emofurryboyfriendasmr]

also having a bunch of men over may be more emotionally stressful than having one or two of her close friends over so i don't blame her even if it wasn't for safety reasons

[@kayenjee]

I actually have an aunt who was insulted by people asking her to wash her hands before touching their newborn 🙄 it was prepandemic, but still

[@ConstantChaos1]

He didn't tho that's the thing, he asked and wad denied and thusly came here, at no point did he ever go against her wishes Ge wasn't unreasonable about this and I'm not going to pretend he was Remember bodily autonomy applies to men too. As an actual healthcare provider I can also tell you that having only family over is seriously detrimental to the child's cognitive abilities I'm not blaming her or anything post part um is a thing and should be taken seriously but at the same time he didn't actually do anything she didn't want all the way to bringing her meds which seriously should have been within reach if she was bedbound like is implied Also based off the text of the story it's HIS house idk why he specified thus other than maybe he is the owner of the building that they reside in without support from her Also if she is in that much pain she needs to be in a hospital not at home this is serious shit and has resulted in mor SIDs and SHAKEN BABY syndrome

[@haybale287]

​@@ConstantChaos1 Troll harder, dude.

[@commandercorl1544]

Men definitely need to be taught that "No" means "No". We're told this standard of, "Keep trying, they'll give in!" when that's awful and will definitely lead to breakup, or worst case scenario, an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. When your crush says "No" once, go away. If you insist, you can try again later, but if they say "No" again, just leave them alone, man...

[@letterborneVods]

I’m against trying again later. Unless the person specifically said “I’m not ready, I need some more time”, but even that could mean they were being nice out of fear. It’s already horrible to realize someone is interested in you that way and having to say no and them getting upset, imagine if you have to do that twice.

[@pk.18]

fr like no means no, not "convince me"

[@commandercorl1544]

@@pk.18 Common Wuz

[@commandercorl1544]

@@letterborneVods Exactly. I said "if you insist" meaning, it they're REALLLY trying, you can ask twice I guess. But I definitely suggest just once.

[@BooksandBuns]

But it's not just men who teach other men that 'no' means 'try harder'. Lots of women say this too, & then others say 'no means no'. Like, this belief exists for a reason, I've seen both men & women telling young, impressionable men 'if she says no, that means you have to try harder'. It's really fucked trying to navigate dating as an autistic man, because literally half of the women you meet want you to 'try harder' & the other half wants you to listen to them. I'm not even a 'try harder' guy, I'm a 'no means no' guy because I understand what it's like to have my bodily autonomy invaded, but the dating scene is absolutely fucked & you can't cast these broad statements across your entire dating pool when 99% of you allistics can't even give a straight answer as to what you want

[@indiecrowarts]

Okay as someone who’s treated my friends to dinner plenty of times, out of a group of EIGHT having one person be the cost of HALF the bill is absolutely insane and she’s blatantly taking gross advantage of his generosity. Even when I’m treated to food by my friends or their parents- I always order about the same cost as the other people at the table. Heck even when my friends mom paid for the most expensive meal I’ve ever had (about 50-60 bucks) she said it was okay because both her and my friend were eating about the same cost wise. It would be one thing if everyone’s meal was about $100 and they were out fine dining, but think of it this way: 260-113=127. Even if we were to divide this remainder by the 7 other people eating it’d be about £18.14 per person. Her food makes up 43.46% of the bill! Absolutely not. Just because someone can afford to treat you to something- it doesn’t mean you can take advantage of them (asking beforehand is one thing but she just went ham on that meal) Sorry for the paragraph but that story was so frustrating to hear

[@arianam6430]

This is the way. And honestly, if I knew someone was treating but I still want something expensive, I'm gonna make sure I either pay for it all, or make sure to pay most if the treater insists no. Or pay a generous tip (for us here in the states). At least make an effort to be a decent person. She knew what she was doing.

[@nsullivan9096]

Seriously though. I generally stick to about the same as everyone else, but if I want something a little extra I just ask the person that offered to pay if it would be alright. It really doesnt take much and being told 'no' isn't a bad thing. Usually people say yes to lettin you have a little somethin extra when you're not bein a dick about it.

[@TalkBack17]

260-113=147 but your point still stands. If someone is taking you out to eat you get one entree and one drink…NOT the most expensive item on the menu (I mean, I guess you can if other people are ordering expensive items too) and FOUR rounds of drinks. Dessert if everyone else is too. And offer to leave the tip in exchange for the tab being picked up.

[@TalkBack17]

@@nsullivan9096when my husband and I take people out we make sure they know that the sky is the limit, or we surprise them at the end by paying so they don’t feel pressured to conform to a specific budget. But if we are being treated, unless told otherwise, we keep it very conservative on what we order. We typically only get water to drink too.

[@ionabab7274]

She was definitely an asshole, but he kind of enabled that behaviour. He said that he noticed the gf ordering expensive food, but didn’t say anything because he just wanted to see where it would go. It’s not like he had no idea the price of what she was ordering. He should have told her something like “I’ll pay up to £30 for each meal, but any more than that and you’re paying the rest.” She sucks, but he saw where it was going and should have said something instead of acting like this was completely out of his control.

[@Chiraag-k1r]

For the 4th one, I feel like it understood you dont overspend when a friend is paying for your meal. The gf is definitely the asshole

[@MDNELLEY]

Seriously. Whenever my in-laws are paying, I won’t order an alcoholic drink. Sometimes I just get water. Like, who just goes nuts when they know someone else is on the hook for their bill? 🚩🚩🚩

[@inacatt]

Her cost was about half the bill, that's just.. too much. Like she was def doing the rude thing.

[@chantalreneehayles7976]

And if you do really want something on the menu that happens to be very expensive you can just ask if they’d be comfortable paying for something like that or just offer to pay for your own food if you know you’re gonna get something that pricey.

[@slowlanegamer]

I think like Annamarie that it’s basically both of their fault. If your not comfortable and in good a place to pay for everyone’s food and it’s going to be cutting it close maybe just don’t offer or say there’s a limit. But most people are not going to go crazy and order 7 drinks and $113 of food on someone else who’s being nice enough to pay. Personally I will walk up to the bar or get the drinks on a separate bill. But maybe she thought since he offered to pay that he was doing really well with money and wouldn’t mind 🤔 it’s not uncommon for some people to drink quite a bit while being out with friends. Maybe he should have said I will pay for the meals and one drink each or something lol if there was indeed a limit or an issue 🤔 plus I mean he had to have noticed her ordering more and more drinks and didn’t say anything then?

[@reckless_herb]

@@slowlanegamer yeah it was weird to me that he never mentions stopping part way through to set a boundary. no way he was completely out of the loop on her choices. she’s an asshole and he’s a bit of a pushover making him do “asshole” things me thinks.

[@mintysbowtie]

Why is it that almost every person on the AITA subreddit a delusional weirdo. Like no babe you aren’t quirky you have just committed a heinous crime against humanity and I’d be more scared if people thought you were correct in doing so! 💀

[@ConstantChaos1]

This is why I wasn't super fond of her statement about only judging by the written texts, like the story is going to be spun by op, they will modify it to get the best chance at karma farming. To actually have a solid understanding you need to know what they thing not just how they lie. For instance one guy had his mom keep him from dating other dudes because every time he had a date she "spontaneously" made a huge mess and made him clean it instead of going to his BF Like once is an accident but literally a dozen times followed by grounding even if he complied. There is nothing here saying the mother was a bigot but we all know she 100% is (bonus points, younger sister was allowed to date and was even given condoms by the mom so ors not premarital that's the issue its cuz he is gay)

[@DiMagnolia]

Or they’ve been so gaslit that they’re all “AITA for politely asking my partner and their family to stop setting me and my house on fire every day?” and it’s like bestie please run you’re being A B U S E D

[@TalkBack17]

The stories or mostly fake. But the commenters are delusional

[@Dinnyeify]

AITA is funny because you get people like "Uh so I spit on my sister and called her every rude thing in the world and stole all her money, and she said that was mean, AITA?" and you also get people like "My friend murdered my whole family and my dog and set my house on fire for being too tired to hang out, AITA?". Truly a magical place

[@afckingegg7585]

​@@ConstantChaos1 I mean, obviously people on the internet lie, but what is she supposed to do about that? Just imagine a different version of the story and pretend it's true? That would be ridiculous imo, since there's no way of proving anything.

[@merriebearz]

My best friend didn't tell me she was attracted to girls for like three or four years of our friendship (I'm a girl myself). I wasn't even _hurt_ when she came out to me. Honestly, back when we first met, I had a lot of internalized homophobia (despite later figuring out I was queer myself) and I could imagine she didn't feel comfortable enough telling me. And I absolutely got that. I never had any thoughts about her being attracted to me, I never felt weird about having changed in front of her before that, and afterwards. Nothing changed for me except that she could finally show me this part of herself too. I hope the woman from the third post can find more accepting friends, hopefully even queer friends! That helped me a lot figuring out how to be comfortable with my sexuality.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

internalized homophobia is so hard to deal with, i'm happy that you were able to deal with yours (it took me so long to deal with internalized transphobia and biphobia) and i agree, i hope the OP of that psot can get good friends in her life.

[@silverkyre]

Both my friends I've known since middle school. One is a lesbian and the other bisexual and they told me until like highschool or later. Which is fine they were still figuring it out and they told me when they were comfortable. I also told my friend whose a lesbian that I always pretty much knew anyway. I had feeling. They're my friends and I adore them. I cannot with other straight people being that narcissistic. Tour friend coming out to you is not about you. It's about them!

[@theshire9173]

I’m also a girl who had a friend come out as a lesbian. It’s so narcissistic of anyone to assume that your gay friend would always be attracted to you. Do you assume that every strait person of the opposite sex is attracted to you? I just want to talk about the awkward conversation. We were talking about a movie. She decides to tell me she’s gay. And I try to maneuver the conversation back to the movie because I’m not homophobic and had no comment on the gay stuff and neither did she.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

@@theshire9173 oh yeah people who say stuff like that are incredibly self absorbed, but in my experience bigots tend to lack introspection and are often self centered.

[@yukiandkanamekuran]

and like, even if she was attracted to you at some point, thats her own feelings, and they don't make someone a bad person for having them.

[@whoahanant]

The one with the guy asking the Lesbian out. I always hated those kinds of proposals. Because it's a "pressure fest". You're putting someone on the spot publicly to say yes. Initially she legit said no and then he pushed it and she then stated she was a lesbian. Whole thing could've been avoided had he just asked normally in private. Also could've taken the first "no" and hit to his pride but instead he pushed further and she was forced to give a "bigger" reason as to why she said no. Which is sad that "no" is not a good enough reason in the first place.

[@zachmatheys8416]

I absolutely lost it at the blunt coworker email ending in, "You are actively hindering my work. P.S. Are we still on for softball later?"🤣🤣🤣

[@Harudodo]

I usually do come out to my friends, but that's because I'm trans. I don't mention my sexuality until it's brought up (Ex: friends making gay jokes and me using my pan ones) Basically, if people don't tell you they're straight, why tell them you're gay? It's a complete double standard.

[@enasniec-neicsnoc9591]

I feel this comment so much. As an asexual, I don't usually tell people that because it seems like a completely random thing to talk about unless the topic of sexuality comes up in general. I've always found sex and sexual attraction to be a weird, nebulous concept that belongs with all the other stuff about human interactions I fail to understand. If someone asks, I feel no anxiety telling them and if they don't I don't usually talk about it...which is why, when someone gets weird about it I'm extremely annoyed. Usually I also have to explain I'm kind of aro because of extreme trust issues which makes it even more annoying because usually the kinds of people you have to explain this to have trouble accepting this as an answer. It doesn't help that I'm conventionally attractive and get the whole 'oh, you can't be [insert rainbow colors here], you're so good-looking' BS. I also don't appreciate the whole 'people don't tell you they're straight' double standard. Very unfair. Sorry for the long comment.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Seriously. I mean people only come out at all because people assume we’re straight… that’s their problem, not mine 🤷🏳️‍🌈

[@lisapeesalemonsqueezah3241]

OMG the story about the lesbian is EXACTLY why I haven’t come out to my family! Women change with other girls growing up at swimming lessons, summer camp, high school locker rooms etc and we don’t creep on each other the way men do (#notallmen, blah, blah, blah, it’s obvious I don’t mean all men and I shouldn’t have to say this) because: a)we’re use to seeing other women’s bodies b) we don’t objectify each other because we too are women and don’t see each other as objects c) we don’t view women’s bodies as inherently sexual because we too have a woman’s body and we know it’s not inherently sexual d) we weren’t raised with the normalization of “peeping Tom” mentality. We don’t see the presence of naked bodies as an excuse to be a creep. I’m out to all my friends, including my straight and bi girlfriends and I’ve NEVER had any of them get modest when we’re at a changing room or doing a clothing exchange. The fact that I’m bi never comes up, because WOMEN RESPECT EACH OTHER! It’s weird that I have to worry about how my FAMILY will feel! People I’m not attracted to because I’M NOT AN INCESTUOUS WEIRDO! But just because I’m not straight, it is assumed that I have ZERO morality and I must be attracted to every woman that walks the earth?!

[@gogobeebee963]

Absolutely yes!!

[@unicorn73212]

Yeah I've had this problem too especially if your bi sexual they think your hitting the club every weekend getting drunk when really most women stay home now and drink on their days off. Sometimes lesbian and bi sexual women are more civil than straight people too. I used to have a straight roommate that used to have a man over every weekend eventually one of them cracked and slept with me and she kicked me out afterwards but she kind of deserved it in a way because she was already cheating with some of them.

[@lemonmintcat4269]

Yes, it is so true. The most awkward moment of my life as a teen, I stared at a classmates chest during class ( I was 13 and didn't understand my sexuality) but then I made eye contact with her and I was like OMG sorry. I felt god damn awful afterwards because just felt bad to do. Obviously teens are going to be awkward and take some time to understand attraction, that isn't shameful or bad, but its more like society teaches girls to be ashamed of their bodies and boys to be creepy about girls bodies. Instead of hey, a body is a body, it doesn't have to be sexy. You can be attracted to people but you need to recognize they deserve respect just like you do. Thats why I hate it when people say "boys will be boys" like I like women and I treat them like people, its not that hard!

[@wormfoodd8]

tbh i lowkey disagree with this. the argument “i have never looked at any of my friends sexually bc i respect them too much” isnt rlly a representation of reality. i think it makes more sense to just normalize being attracted to people? obviously assuming that a gay person is perving on every person of the same sex is silly and bigoted but also like yeah sometimes gay ppl do look at their friends “sexually” its super normal especially during puberty like yeah when i changed with my friends in high school i found some of them attractive and i was also comparing their bodies to my own and thats such a normal human experience and i know for a fact they were thinking the same thing. and saying that because we are women we dont see women as objects is just not real because we are all influenced by the oppressive cultural and systemic standards of our society and it requires work to see past that even as women !! note: internet tone is wack so jsyk im not tryna come at u or argue, ur comment just made me think about this subject and that was my conclusion so i wanted to share.

[@wormfoodd8]

also i find it surprising u say that the fact ur bi never comes up bc almost my whole friend group is queer and so much of our humor is based in that

[@sibaibaiba]

For the second story I’m glad her parents are teaching her to wipe properly when she’s young I know so many ppl who weren’t taught and had to find out on their own

[@timburtonluver28]

Ikr? Even if what the MIL thought was true, was accurate… people with anatomy resembling her granddaughter’s get UTIs/Bladder infections CONSTANTLY because the urethras of cis females are much shorter than cis male’s. So when you clean the wrong way the bacteria (especially from feces) has a very short comparative distance to go before it gets into your bladder and you develop a huge issue. Pain from that kind of stuff is no joke and it can lead to complications - especially with repeat or untreated infections. That being said, it literally sounds like she doesn’t know what/where the urethra is - especially if she is justifying what she did by saying the sexual organs haven’t developed yet??? And so it’s fine????!

[@reckless_herb]

yep. so many parents are incapable of teaching their kids hygiene. the kids that would smell bad in school were probably just suffering from their parents failures

[@amandatownsend5132]

​@Ghosty to play devils advocate maybe the grandmother heard how hymens protect newborns from bacteria which I'm not sure if is totally accurate but I've heard it a few times so maybe she somehow twisted that to no vagina till puberty but like even if she was correct (very much not correct lol) it would still be better to teach the kid proper wiping early rather than have to learn later

[@timburtonluver28]

@@amandatownsend5132 I agree with that as well - that she should be teaching the grandkid a lifelong habit now because it’s REALLY hard to change later. Still the hymen thing isn’t accurate/real and needs to end. Yeah she’s probably got a crap education - but still it doesn’t make sense for her to think a hymen (as most people wrongfully picture it) will protect the kid from bladder infections because how are you going to think a kid can pee if a hymen covers everything including the urethra? If she thinks pee and everything comes out of the vagina (as in the vaginal canal, not a specific spot on a vulva) she’s further gone than we would hope because AGAIN how can you think a hymen covers everything but somehow a kid can still urinate if you believe that myth and misunderstand biology to that degree? She seems to really misunderstand a lot and that’s bad news for her grandkid : (

[@amandatownsend5132]

@Ghosty ya I more assumed it meant yeast infections if it was actually a thing though unfortunately most people don't realize there's 3 holes even women because of the absolutely terrible sex ed most people get and I imagine it was worse when the grandmother learned things but at her age she should've been able to figure at least that vaginas are there before puberty

[@grreeno]

When I got pregnant and needed my husband all the time ,because I was literally losing my mind and then gave birth and had pp psychosis, I would have him come home if I needed him and his friends always would act like I’m some controlling bitch. Fast forward years later to when they all chose to have kids….and guess who is never allowed to hang out becuase all their prego wives need them???? The same friends who acted like i was uneasonable!!!!! And half them women won’t let these dudes have a single night out like not one! But when it was me I let him have his nights all the time even when I felt like death or killing myself. I literally needed him to be there some times and that’s that. Luckily my husband always understood and never complained like this guy but his friends did and they finally learned the hard way. I guess don’t be the first in a friend group to have kids. You’ll be treated the worst 👌🏻

[@Alexis-tx5en]

Yeah his friend group was also terrible, like why wouldn’t they understand that his wife would need help? They’re more important than some game lol

[@grreeno]

@@Alexis-tx5en it was more like gaming till 9am while I’m trying to rest And his band mates. I was friends with them too that was the sad part but again they never understand till they’re walking in your same shoes

[@jontobin5942]

I'm weighing in on the first story. This sounds like a communication problem. I'm betting that the wife just felt a need for support in some way, emotional or otherwise, but sensed that her husband was irritated, felt bad about it, also felt that he should be there for her and isn't understanding the severity of the need, didn't have a perfectly logical explanation for all of this but was now in the position of feeling guilty for disrupting his plans, resentful that he isn't understanding, feeling physically vulnerable from pregnancy issues, feeling that the original need of support and validation wasn't fulfilled, and is unable to articulate this all succinctly in the moment, leading to an argument. She also might need to be more practical or bold in communicating and explain her needs better. Her husband was left confused. I'm also betting the husband feels disappointed to leave his friends and possibly resents the position he's put in as the one who's disappointing his friend group but seems happy to make that sacrifice for his wife. With the caveat that it's 'for a reason'. He went home to solve a problem and when no problem was apparent to him it felt like a waste. His wife didn't seem pleased and he wasn't 'doing' anything specific to improve things. He felt frustrated that his efforts were being wasted. He also might need to control his emotions better. If he was directing his irritation at her, (which the "laying in silence" seems to indicate.) she probably didn't feel the warmth and safety to open up. She needed support but couldn't articulate it. He needed to hear that he was helping and appreciated.

[@jontobin5942]

Also I'm assuming honesty. We haven't heard her side and it's possible this has a lot of spin on it.

[@jontobin5942]

Also, thinking about this more; I'm projecting myself onto this guy a lot. It's entirely possible that he's acting like a second child rather than a father. No mention was made of what the baby was doing during this time so I'm assuming the wife was handling that or it was sleeping the whole time? He's also very focused on the missed game time and "winning" that argument rather than being frustrated that he doesn't understand his wife. You do need time for other friend relationships but without further context this wasn't that large a sacrifice.

[@selimasadfi2331]

@@jontobin5942 postpartum is very difficult for a woman's body with the hormones changing and other medical conditions rising, it can be hairloss depression and in this case the tumor/ bump she talked about. She told him she wanted him to be with her and the newborn so putting his friends/game before them makes him a bad father and like she said "he should change his priorities" it takes around 3 months for woman to heal from childbirth so the father should definitely help out without her even asking it's the bare minimum.

[@jontobin5942]

@@selimasadfi2331 I completely agree. My perspective is just colored by my personal experience of dealing with an ex who is terrible at communicating their needs. It's extremely frustrating to be left in the dark about what your partner is thinking. I've been there, wanting to help, confused. Sometimes i'd get silence for weeks, intuiting that something was clearly stressing her immensely but she wouldn't tell me what it was or give feedback when I expressed my own needs. She would come over, shower, and just sleep for 16 hours straight. Her parents were both addicts and I knew she felt safe with me, hence the sleeping, but she wouldn't talk about her feelings. There's more but this will be a whole book if I keep going.

[@loremipsum2237]

You articulated how I saw things perfectly. The only difference is that I don't think he was directing bad vibes at her, he was just leaking them in general. This should be fixed, but I don't think it's really fair to blame him for that.

[@putaromason5234]

The story with Hannah, her friend was definitely not the a**hole. Because literally she told him that Hannah wasn't gonna be interested in him. For one people might feel like oh they need to know but like it doesn't matter because let's say she wasn't a lesbian, right? It's still not ok to assume someone will like you because of their sexuality. You should hope that person would maybe like or have interest in you but u shouldn't expect it.

[@jamiexit]

and even if he “had to know” or thought he could change her mind would you not do it more privately bc you’ve already been told she’s most likely gonna say no?? like he was told what the end scenario was gonna be and still chose to do it in front of the whole class with the dramatics

[@putaromason5234]

@@jamiexit Very true. Like doing all that to me is like honestly not respecting her word and not respecting her friends word. And doing that in front of the class is manipulative in multiple situations sense it pressures girls to say yes even if they don't want to. He felt like the friend embarrassed him but he embarrassed himself for one, not taking the hint and two, getting on one knee and trying to change her mind.

[@hawkeyescoffee6399]

@@putaromason5234 Exactly, the OP told Mason that he wasn't Hannah's type, so it sounds like he went for a very public and grandiose asking out (seriously, what idiot does that anyway in high school) in a manipulative attempt that she would be put in a situation where she would feel pressured into saying yes even if she didn't want to go. And that might have worked with a girl who wasn't so sure of herself or who wasn't ready to be out. Blaming OP for not telling him is bullshit because he would have still done the exact same thing if he'd been told...since he didn't believe the "your not her type" (or even Hannah's initial refusalbefore he pretty much put her in a position where she had to tell him to get him to back off) he wouldn't believe "she's a lesbian", he would have done everything exactly the same. Regardless, it's not OP's place to out her to someone who doesn't already know anyway (assume if she wanted them to know she would have told them already). Even though there were people who obviously already knew, there's no saying Hannah was ready for Mason/everyone else to know. As it turned out, he literally forced he hand on it. Mason is a giant asshole. OP is a good friend and did the best they could in he situation by telling Mason she wouldn't be into him, not their fault he's an egotistical asshole. Hopefully it did Mason a little good to be humbled, but I doubt it, given his response was to blame the OP instead of his own actions for his humiliation.

[@putaromason5234]

@@hawkeyescoffee6399 Lovely said 👏. I've seen many situations where girls would tell the guy she's not interested or tell him she's a lesbian. And the thing that those guys need to understand that even if a straight girl is saying she's a lesbian that should tell u to back off immediately because she's not interested in u. And people would say oh he's so young and it's like no he's not. Like you said, he's in highschool and he's acting like that, it's very disturbing and pathetic. The only one to blame would be himself and also his friends because I bet he told them what she said and still just ignored her word. Literally it needs to be taught that if you can't accept rejection then literally don't put urself out there. If u can't respect their words from someone u supposedly like then tbh to me you don't like them at all. You're just obsessed and need to use that energy on helping urself. I agree with that he's an absolute a**hole but he doesn't want to admit that to himself. Little boys and guys need to understand how they stand out and how much pressure they put on girls. They need to understand what's happening from a third perspective, understand what atmosphere their creating. If u truly did care for her, you wouldn't do that to her. EVER.

[@mhawang8204]

Heck, even after years of dating and knowing each other, most women still prefer not to be put in a very public situation for proposals, etc. Mason certainly has a lot of learning and growing up to do. Meanwhile, lesbians can only hope to be as bold as Mason. Where do clueless guys get their confidence, seriously? (Asking as a lesbian)

[@literallyafishhook]

23:06 reminds me of this story my sister told me in high school when she was in a theatre class and this really homophobic guy had just hit on her friend, but when she said no he IMMEDIATELY tried on my sister, but when she told him she's a lesbian he was laughed at by the entire class, and then later he called her a "lesbian sewing lady" (because she was really into sewing back then) as an 'insult' and she was just like "yeah... I am" and he just entirely embarrassed himself in front of everyone _twice_

[@Kitty-the-Bunny]

That's kind of hilarious to me as an attempt at an insult because it's just... her sexuality and her hobby? Which part of that would possibly be insulting to her? XD If someone called me "the queer fashion doll lady" I'd be like hell yeah, love filling my specific niche and being known for it

[@literallyafishhook]

@@Kitty-the-Bunny right?? like what did he think he was trying to do there

[@DiMagnolia]

I’m a lesbian dancing lady 😈

[@Tishanfas]

@@DiMagnolia Oooh, I could be a lesbian puzzle solving lady!

[@Kitty-the-Bunny]

I love all these titles for us~

[@StargazingDragon]

Public "proposals" or asking someone out is what I consider a peer pressure situation that you should be prepared to be embarrassed by. You're basically assuming they'll say yes if you're humiliated by getting a no. Mason is not entitled to any girls yes, lesbian or not.

[@Smiley_Fruitcake]

I'm happy that father doesn't shy away from talking about his daughters genital health. If she ever has issues and has trouble talking to a doctor, having a father thats comfortable and not weird about it could save her life. My dad had to yell at a doctor who wasn't taking me seriously and I'm so thankful for him. All dads out there, it's not creepy to talk about genital health when your children might be having issues, it could save their lives.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Seriously. It’s not inherently creepy or predatory to be aware of your child’s body and healthcare.

[@kusuossecretgf5401]

based pfp

[@ImAlwaysSirius]

This IS a judgement zone 😌💅🏳️‍🌈✨

[@ChristopherSadlowski]

Sometimes it has to be. 😏

[@paulhammond6978]

Oh noo! I'm the asshole!

[@clovesbian]

That grandma probably had so many UTIs in her life 💀

[@mica8701]

more like those 3 daughters of her probably had so many UTIs during their childhood 😭

[@MonsterZyx]

Letterboard of truth: ''this is a judgement zone'' also Annamarie: ''Not to judge-".

[@niyatheninja]

her alone was half the bill, and its EIGHT of them. hell no he isnt wrong, thats just ridiculous. she was obviously taking advantage of his kindness

[@Guro-Blue-kun]

The first lesbian story really got to me... I'm middle aged(so yeah...it wasn't super accepted when I was a teen) and pansexual. I always knew 'what' I was, and never tried to actively hide it or anything, even having sex with literally everyone since a young age, but apparently most people didn't know I was pan. I was living in a small town, and one day, my best friend realized I was going out with a person the same gender I was assigned at birth, which was also my friend's gender. They EXPLODED at me(in public haha...)...how disgusting & revolting it was! We had countless sleep overs, saw each other naked in the lockers room, etc....and they would have NEVER if they knew about me. I was really confused and shocked, since we were best friends for YEARS, and I was never predatory towards them nor any of my friends of any gender, for that matter...but for some reason, I was now a completely different person?? And of course, they were so DiSTrAugHT and disgusted by me, that they told everyone close to me. *In a fvcking small town.* I never had a single friend after that in that town. I moved out to a bigger city about 5 years later...feeling completely broken(other things happened since this, but it was still a big part of why). Since then, I _still_ can't make any cis-straight friends... Don't get me wrong, I love dearly all my LGBTQ+ friends, but the trauma is real...and I can never really let myself trust someone not in the LGBTQ+... Anywayyyy sorry for over sharing ^^; Thanks for another fun video, Annamarie! 💙

[@horrorpickles]

2:54 Just to answer this question: probably a hemorrhoid or something. Pregnancy gives a risk to hemorrhoids, and I’m assuming that’s why it is because she just gave birth 6 weeks ago lol

[@MDNELLEY]

Thank you 🙏🏼 that makes so much sense!!

[@AnnamarieForcino]

mystery solved (hopefully)!

[@majinpierce]

Okay so I think I might have an idea what the MIL that wiped wrong was talking about. Babies can have fused labia that blocks the vagina opening without blocking the urethra, so there’s no medical issues, and during puberty it unfuses and resolves itself. (This is what i was told by a pediatrician). My only thought is that maybe that happened to at least 1 of the daughters she raised, and she assumed that it was the case for everyone? Either way, poop in the urethra can definitely cause UTIs and probably other infections, so she’d still have wiped wrong. I know I was never taught how to wipe and didn’t learn until an embarrassing age though, so I can’t fault her for not knowing. It’s just arguing that she must be right that’s wild lmao

[@Cat-fz1uu]

For the first one I feel like if the guy had good friends they'd probably be willing to come over and help out with the baby as well while hanging out

[@tay1064]

I thought that too. I feel like A.M. and the comment section are being a little too harsh on the guy considering how much he tried to compromise

[@popejaimie]

Doesn't mean the wife wants them there when she's not feeling well

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

@@popejaimie well then she should communicate that to him

[@tay1064]

@@The-Busy-Beeeee exactly, then maybe they could’ve talked about maybe inviting over fewer friends or just rescheduling. Disregarding the guys feelings entirely and saying “he should just suck it up and want to be there for his woman” is so disregarding to his emotions

[@elalala576]

she clearly said she wants moral(emotional) support,what are the friends supposed to do for her in that department? if he lost his job or a family member died or some shit and wanted moral support from his wife should she just bring her girls over to hangout,cause she already had a plan and so every time he needs her to be there for him or a hug he can just call her over,does that make sense to you as a human being?

[@frankieloinandgroin]

I wouldn't have given the same judgment on the post about being unprofessional to a demanding coworker. If cussing someone out for repeatedly being too demanding & invasive is just as bad as being demanding & invasive, then screw professionalism.

[@carolinedelagarza2769]

I'm still stuck on the fact that the friends girlfriend explicitly asked "who's paying?" Assuming she never planned to pay for herself and made sure to rack up the tab (without her bf stopping her???) WHEN THE FRIEND HAD NEVER HUNG OUT WITH HER PREVIOUSLY?!?!? Also if this is a habit of hers why does everyone enable her 🤨🤨 like give a guy a warning b4 he regrets being generous in the first place

[@vixelscoffeehouse]

Yes, force them to come out. This is a judgment zone after all

[@merriebearz]

I feel sorry for the woman from the first post ... imagine finding out your husband acts like that _after_ having a baby with him. Edit: read the comments at your own risk. Somehow, some people will always find a way to defend bad actions and make assumptions. Didn’t mean to start a whole discussion with this comment lol

[@Reed5016]

Yeah. Because now, she’s stuck in a marriage with an irresponsible man who doesn’t help her with her needs. I can only imagine how much worse it will get later in their marriage, and how it’ll affect the kid. I worry about how neglectful he’ll be to his child, and how negatively that will impact their mental health growing up.

[@jnoelleart]

@@Tatertwat05 she had one singular friend over that she knows and trusts. he on the other hand was going to invite a whole group of people over to their house around a newborn baby and the mother who hasn’t fully recovered yet. that isnt the same thing at all. and like annamarie said, he would be complaining every single time he had to get up to help his wife out with her injuries and the baby and she’s already under enough stress as it is. having one singular friend over to help out is not the same thing as inviting a whole loud party of people who were gonna play a game

[@jnoelleart]

@@Tatertwat05 and yeah while he did help her out, he was complaining about it as if she was the issue. she’s literally 6 weeks postpartum taking care of their newborn child while also having to deal with the injuries (plus the weird bump she has) that she hasn’t even recovered from yet because its been SIX WEEKS

[@jnoelleart]

@@Tatertwat05 furthermore, people are more on the mother’s side and theres a reason why women get maternity leave. its probably because theyre the ones that gave birth to the child maybe?? i’m not saying men don’t have any negative side effects after the birth of their child but i think it’s safe to say that the woman who gave birth has it way harder than the man does 💀

[@kayenjee]

😫

[@bloomingalchemy6032]

Even if Hannah *was* straight, that wouldn’t automatically mean Mason would be her type or even want to go out with him anyways 🤦🏻 getting down on one knee to ask her out was doing the most too, OP definitely wasn’t the asshole, Mason was 🤷🏻

[@geneva8401]

My take as a nurse regarding the wiping from back-to-front vs the correct front-to-back or out-not-in: Obviously it’s just extremely gross and brings poop to/into the vagina like dad said, but it would also bring it to the urethra in front of the vagina and can pretty likely cause a urinary tract infection aka UTI. Female urethras are super short so pathogens can get into the bladder fairly easily. Those can be deadly if the infection travels up the ureters into the kidneys, then can cause sepsis aka blood stream infection, and that is extremely serious and deadly. Your kidneys filter your blood, so once an infection reaches the kidneys there’s a good chance the infection would get into the blood. She could also have permanent kidney damage from that before the infection is treated and resolves if it’s not treated right away. A small child might not realize some of the symptoms are something they need to tell someone about, or have trouble communicating what they’re experiencing, so it could get bad before anyone realizes she’s ill. So it’s not just gross or could cause vaginitis, but could be extremely serious if UTI occurs. Anyway dad was right for taking a stand about the importance of wiping correctly bc he had his daughters health in mind, it wasn’t petty.

[@azeleax]

I’m an open lesbian and I’m friends with mostly females because I’m severely uncomfortable with guys. I’m not predatory to my friends at all, if anything we all platonically flirt with each other, because a lot of them are secure in their sexuality and know that they can feel safe with me, but we’re all comfortable and consenting with it. The stereotype that people place on lesbians of being automatically into and predatory to every other woman they’re around is very upsetting.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

the third one is just that her "friends" are lesbophobic. i remember when that was first posted and i wanted to tear my hair out.

[@electronics-girl]

In college, there was a girl on our hall who came out as a lesbian. She came out to all of us on the hall (over 40 people) except her roommate, and told us not to tell her roommate. She was afraid of that sort of reaction, that her roommate would feel violated or something. Eventually she came out to her roommate, and the roommate was fine with it. That was 30 years ago. I can't believe lesbians still have to worry about that today.

[@beachwitch89]

I'm pretty feminine but a girl I knew a few years ago said I had an "undeniable bisexual aura" lol. Best compliment ever, and now I assume that anyone who can't tell is just dense

[@ellabiddy4741]

The lesbian story hits close to home because I’m bi and was super open in HS but a bit afraid of this particular situation in college. My friend and I were getting ready for the pool and I naturally went into her bathroom to change to be careful and she made it clear that it would be perfectly fine if I was in her room with her like along the lines of “you really don’t need to do that” and I’m so grateful for her. I don’t really come out to people unless it comes up that I’ve had a girlfriend in the past cause I currently have a boyfriend and it just feels like a big deal to come out, but with her she was like “I figured looking at your Instagram” when I made it clear for the first time.

[@notreallytommy3470]

when I came out as bi to one of my not-so-close friends she literally thought I was confessing my love to her and she looked so grossed out and scared 💀💀💀 legit clown behaviour, I said btch bi 👋🤡

[@rachelfouche6080]

dude, I came out as bi to my cousin when I was like 13? (she was at least ten years older than me) and she reacted almost the SAME WAY. like she said it made her uncomfortable because she was worried it meant that I might be attracted to her. talk about f*cking ridiculous.

[@notreallytommy3470]

@@rachelfouche6080 bruv--- that's the dumbest shit I ever heard of??? like that response in itself is ridiculous, but then she's a full grown adult saying that to a minor--- AND ALSO that minor is her cousin!? bro I hope you're okay, anyone would be traumatized by an experience like that 💀💀💀

[@Crow.Theodore]

14:16 I rolled my eyes so hard at this statement. I went to an all girls school and I was always so nervous changing in the same room as the other girls because I was so scared people would accuse me of staring at them while they changed. Luckily no one accused me of this (possibly because I was not exactly labelled as someone who liked girls but more as someone who had a different gender identity) but this hit me hard

[@westvirginiascoolestcanadian]

coming out to my (mostly gay) friends as aroace was actually very scary. i put a lot of effort into my hopeless romantic constantly crushing facade and it was more than enough to fool my friends let alone myself. i thought they’d all hate me for lying for so long about something so important and wouldn’t understand it wasn’t like that.

[@Brynwyn123]

Ughh. I'm a butch bisexual (pretty much everyone assumes I'm a lesbian) and I've been harassed and attacked, including by teachers when i was in school, because they could tell and thought I would in some way harm or turn the other girls. It was a whole thing in the 80s to 2010s, before they realised attacking trans women worked better. I had to leave school because they denied access to any bathroom or changing room and the girls started treating me like a creep. I did absolutely nothing to them! I'm just masculine and like women! There are plenty of good reasons not to come out (especially as a bisexual, highest rates of everything from rape and assault to homelessness and social isolation). Im in my late 20s and am always bout because butches don't get the "luxury" of the closet but if you can there are sotuations where you absolutely should

[@scully7385]

In case anyone is wondering for the first post, I think the bump is a cyst called a pilonidal cyst that grows on your buttcrack. Right at the top, like on your tailbone. I know this because I’ve had them before. They are very painful and occasionally require surgery.

[@flatbread42]

With the paying for meal one, that’s why I always say how much I can put up if I’m worried about that like “I can cover $50” something fair for the given people and space, so if people don’t want to pay, they stay reasonable.

[@charlotteboy6783]

I'm pretty sure a baby has the birth giving parent's immune system when first born and slowly start to develop their own immunities. Antibodies can also be transferred through breastmilk. So I don't think the mom in the first story was worried about the baby getting sick from people in the house. But she could have had another concern (or the baby could have additional health complications not mentioned).

[@SolarpunkVince]

I think it's mostly just that she wanted her partner to be there for her. Imagine being in pain on your own in bed while your husband is downstairs playing games with his friends basically ignoring that you're hurt and upset because he would rather hang out with his friends... I get that as a parent to a newborn he needs a break but when your partner is in pain is not the right time to be taking that break

[@charlotteboy6783]

@@SolarpunkVince I agree. Well said.

[@gogobeebee963]

​@@SolarpunkVince yes excactly

[@laurorrichie7788]

“You should have told me you were gay when we met so I could treat you different & worse” I feel so bad for that OP that her friends were so shitty. Being treated differently and badly is why she was worried to come out in the first place

[@helenn6551]

Someone telling me if I'm getting this wrong for the fourth story: the check was $260 and she was asked to pay $113(presumably what she got). So did she literally take up almost half of an eight person bill? How she think that was ok?

[@princelyprincess1002]

Literally! The fact that everyone else’s meals divide out to be around £21 a person… ma’am.

[@jinxyhexus]

Mason: How dare you be an ally to your friend and not ME! A 'good guy'! If I'd known she was a lesbian I wouldn't have tried to manipulate her into saying yes to a date by propositioning her in front of the whole class! YOU are terrible! OP: ... WHUT?

[@jadeschultz1449]

The first one about the father being mad at the wife about not being able to play games with his friends made me really appreciate my bf (that I don’t have a kid with) because he will not play games even if he hasn’t played games with his friends in awhile he will still respect me and give me his time because he actually cares for me and we don’t even have a kid yet.

[@zoeb3573]

If I had to reveal my sexuality to everyone, I would never have had the chance to listen to one of my classmates rant at me for about an hour about how "the gays" are going to ruin civilization just to immediately after hear another of our classmates mention my gf. Her expression was priceless lmao (Note: I didn't interrupt her/told her to make her stop because I wanted to listen to what bs she believed in. It definitely paid off when that happened right after. The timing was perfect)

[@rosie2871]

not to mention that for the first one, the "bump" was a pilonidal cyst. it's EXTREMELY painful and he had the audacity to go "boo hoo, i can't play games with my friends :((". also you were asking about the location, it's essentially right above the butt crack

[@xdarkwolf2255]

It doesn't sound like he was saying boohoo for the cyst. Sounded more like he couldn't understand why he couldn't have his friends over and help her when needed

[@rosie2871]

@@xdarkwolf2255 no i know he wasn't lmao, i didn't say the boo hoo was in accordance with the cyst

[@xdarkwolf2255]

@@rosie2871 fair enough but his reaction sounds reasonable considering he doesn't understand what she needed and wanted a chance to hang out with friends. If he's in a similar situation to me, I only get one day a week or maybe every 2 weeks to hang with friends and he even offered a compromise so he can still help and have a good time with friends

[@rosie2871]

@@xdarkwolf2255 and she doesn't want to have his friends over, he should respect that. she just pushed a whole human out of her and has an extremely painful cyst, but all he can think about is hanging out with his friends. it's one night. his reaction of getting upset when she asked for him to come home was not reasonable. if she explained and he still cannot understand, that's his problem not hers

[@xdarkwolf2255]

@@rosie2871 I think it depends on how often he sees his friends. I think he has the right to be upset about it. Not necessarily angry at her but I could understand being frustrated about the situation. We also don't know how much he helps out etc. This could have just been a bad night for him and I feel like that doesn't make him an AH.

[@madeleineruusu]

as a bi girl, if a guy like Mason proposed to me in front of class I probably wouldn't accept it either. it's a very awkward position. and sometimes you're just not interested in the person or in going out on a date, so rejection is perfectly fine.

[@flaetsbnort]

The last guy asked her out in front of the entire class so she'd be embarrassed to say no, and it blew back on his face.

[@critfrog]

Does anyone else get the feeling that Mason went down on one knee and asked her out in front of everyone specifically because he was told he wasn't her type and wanted use social pressure to make her say yes...

[@HannahJohnson-gi3tv]

3:02 Just a theory, but I think it’s postpartum hemorrhoids. I’ve never had a baby,but I do a lot of research in relation to postpartum, and the symptoms sound like it. Which makes this story all the more horrific because who in the world would be ok with having people over not only with a fresh newborn but also hemorrhoids 😭

[@supermariozackary5660]

I kinda felt the 3rd post. I came out as a trans fem that liked guys and I had some friends acting weird and not even wanting to sleep in the same room as me during sleepovers. I even had one "friend" refuse to pick a pencil up because he was worried I was gonna stare at him bent over. That's just gross. Why would I do that? They wouldn't act that way around cis women that liked guys so why do they act like that around me. I'm sorry but I just needed to vent and this sempt like a good place to do it.

[@WitchDoctorMegra]

For the last story, when the dude said “why didn’t you tell me she was a lesbian? I wouldn’t have asked her out if you warned me” OP should have said “I did warn you, I told you she wouldn’t be interested, but you thought you could pressure her by putting her on the spot in front of everyone. But now there is no way you can make her look like an asshole for turning you down, so now your trying to make me the asshole when your the one who made an ass out of himself”

[@qwqsenpai7373]

For AITA #3: (btw howdy, I’ve never commented before) I think the idea that Lesbians are gonna creep on their female friends comes from how women see straight men. They automatically attribute liking women to being persistent and borderline predatory- which is how many men come off(especially when they randomly approach you on the street). If you think you are your lesbian friend’s type, it’s always better to ask than assume. If they are interested in you, let them know how you feel about that. If they aren’t and just see you as a friend? That’s great too. I’m a pan woman and I’m aware that some people I know hold the idea that because you like women, you’ll harass them like they’ve experienced from men. Sexuality is not the end-all-be-all of attraction.

[@nervousbreakdown711]

To a certain extent, I feel for the MIL. My mom didn’t know the urethra and vagina were two different things well into her fifties. So you can imagine my own education 🙃🙃🙃

[@reckless_herb]

that’s super rough. my parents fell short with teaching hygiene, but my mom did teach me proper anatomy for the most part… it’s crazy how bad education is. definitely no individuals fault, still frustrating

[@zippityzoop1478]

Literally regardless of the vagina thing, even if she didn’t have one she still has a urethra???!!!

[@reckless_herb]

@@zippityzoop1478 which is easier to get an infection in!! it’s so short on female bodies

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@zippityzoop1478Not everyone even knows we HAVE a urethra so… yeah

[@gilbej91]

With the last story, he asked her and she said Hannah wouldn't be interested but yet he pushed it. That's on him. If I was Mason, I would have given up way earlier.

[@alexistheis8860]

ugh. the changing argument just makes me so mad. so much of the segregation of changing is just based on how bodies look, not sexuality, a big part of it is just being way more comfortable to do something so vulnerable around others who look like you/share in your identity i feel like. even then, i dont like changing in front of ANYONE, male or female - we just have to know each other to a certain level in order to be comfortable doing that, regardless of your identity, and i wish more people came at it from this perspective too lol

[@maem7462]

With the last story. It’s crazy to me that he thought he would get a yes to going out with someone from what seems to be someone he didn’t know that well. He has to ask the friend abt all her hobbies and things. It seems that he doesn’t know her super well or he’s maybe had a few conversations with her. Even if she was straight it would probably lean more towards a no bc of how little they know each other

[@J_Lynn]

I'm so terrified to tell people from my past that I'm bi for these same reasons. Other girls will just change in front of you and ask you about their breasts and stuff without a second thought lmao. I never looked at them that way, but there's no way they would believe me if I explained that. Straight women just refuse to believe you wouldn't be attracted to them. I'm so terrified of the kinda stuff in story 3 that I just make it passively obvious when I get to know new women.

[@billiee8035]

imo if people dont have to announce to me that they're straight, i shouldnt have to announce to them that im gay. simple

[@jordanmchighlander9365]

1st story: Originally, I was going to say NAH. The wife is sick and needs support, and I thought the husband might be going through social withdrawal since he'd have to help out a lot with wife and baby. Upon closer reading, he never said he hadn't hung out with the guys in a while or that he wasn't spending anytime with friends. It was just another social outing. So I'll have to say OP is AH. Edit: he could've used Discord to call his friends and game with them remotely.

[@NamiAne]

I hate it when guys are like ‘I help with the baby’. They are your baby too, you shouldn’t be ‘helping’ take care of them, you should just take care of them period. Not to mention wen your partner is not feeling their best??

[@savannahb8660]

That one women spent 55% of the bill as a SINGLE PERSON. literally 1 person spent the same amount of money as 7 other people's dinner combined. that's absolutely ridiculous. you should not have to communicate to someone to not spend the same amount of money as 7 other people on a single dinner.

[@Isadore-able]

It feels like the guy in the 1st story was just genuinely confused by what support his wife needed, cuz she wanted him home so he came home, she needed help with the baby so he helped, she's okay with him playing games at home. I can understand that it would be a little confusing like maybe he's thinking he's checking off all the boxes of what she needs, but there's still something else she needs that he just can't understand. He didn't seem very whiny to me either tbh, just confused. I think he just does not understand how much of an emotional impact having a kid has had on his wife and how he's feeling versus her. Like she's got so many chemicals and hormones going all over the road for her rn, and I don't think he truly understands the neurochemical and psychological mayhem happening in his wife's brain rn. So maybe not an asshole, but definitely ignorant.

[@Kitty-the-Bunny]

Yeah I kind of agree? Idk. I don't think he should have been mad at her, I think he should have tried harder to understand when they got to talking about it, but sometimes I have trouble with understanding what people want if it's not all 100% explicitly laid out in the request (like explained in detail to an extent that people don't typically do.) Like it sounds like she needed help as in having him with her in general as well as help with specific tasks, but he interpreted it as *just* the specific tasks so it didn't seem to him like what he was doing between the specific tasks she needed help with should matter. (And perhaps also didn't think of the fact that just having people in her house could be stressful.) I can see how he'd misunderstand, and I don't think it's wrong to feel frustrated/disappointed either bc your feelings are your feelings, but the way he kinda doubled down and like, asserted that it *would* make no difference to her rather than like "I *thought* it wouldn't make a difference" or "I'm confused as to why it makes a difference (and want to understand)" is what doesn't sit right with me.

[@jama3997]

Exactly. This is miscommunication. Neither one of them is the AH.

[@Rikigals]

Re: the placement of the bump from the first story. It would make most sense for the bump to be on her thighs or her labia, especially if she had recently given birth.

[@evanjuleen]

I am very proud that she didn't out her friend to that guy who had a crush on her. That decision is completely up to the friend. 😊

[@seiretzym]

story 1 sounds like the wife might have hidradenitis suppurativa, which is extremely painful. the swollen bumps tend to occur where skin touches skin, so they often occur around the buttocks, groin, and inner thigh, which is why it can cause pain both when sitting and when trying to walk. just since you asked

[@panflurr]

i honestly think the first guy isn't completely in the wrong, he would be if he brought friends over anyway, but he didn't. he asked his wife about inviting them and she got mad. he rushed over to her when she needed him and she was always the priority, and i get where people are coming from but she literally admitted that his friends wouldn't bother her. it's weird how everyone immediately says that the husband wants to hang out with friends more than he wants to help his wife - if he did and really was an irresponsible jerk he wouldn't suggest coming over to their house in the first place. i think the main problem for the wife is that she feels like it's unfair that she isn't the only person getting her husband's attention at the moment, and while i totally understand, it's kind of unfair. she is a grown woman just like her husband and it's not right to deprive your partner from their time with friends, especially when they do everything to be ready to help you any moment you need them. again, she admitted that the friends would not bother her and it's alright! it's literally all about the husband's attention.

[@miren9393]

when i came out to my dad as bi, he straight up (literally) asked me so what’s up w your friends now?? i was so confused. he told me, i mean since you like both girls and guys, how can you have friends of literally any gender? i was dumbfounded. apparently bi people just can’t have friends

[@wxrxw]

13:14 In my country, people believe you can't get an infection there if you're a virgin (and you'll lose your virginity if you use tampons) :|||

[@taylorjennings1374]

Story #1: His wife needed help taking care of the baby AND to be taken care of herself. How much spare time did this guy think he was gonna have?? Also, you’re right about newborn immune systems. To reduce risk, you typically want everyone who’s gonna be around the baby to be up to date on all vacations.

[@jama3997]

Thing is though, she had a friend over herself so where was that concern when she got to hang out with HER friend? She wouldn’t be able to use that excuse bc it’s a double standard. What she could’ve said is “I don’t want a lot of people over.” And compromised, as he was obviously trying to do and told him it was at max 1 friend or none.

[@FallenRosestorm]

@@jama3997maybe because it's one person who will help her? Not a group of people she might not even know well, he will be busy with his friends, friends who were upset he had to help his poor wife who was in pain

[@vanc3794]

I don't think the first guy was an asshole or being unreasonable. He said he was going to be there to help and to give her whatever she needs even when the friends are over. Its not even a compromise, the wife gets any help or emotional support she needs and the husband still gets to hang out with his friends. She still gets everything she needs. And the guy didnt put up a fight with his wife about it either. He expressed his feelings and that he was angry with her about while still coming home to help with anything she needed.

[@noplace3571]

Men who think they're basically Jesus re-incarnated for "helping" with a baby that is as much their responsibility as much as their partner's will never fail to make my blood boil

[@holliedalton5052]

Maybe I’m just weird but whenever someone tells me I’m definitely not someone’s type the scenario that they’re not attracted to me because of their sexuality is one of the first things that come to mind (not that I think people should/are always attracted to me I’m not Pedro Pascal 😂). It could be because I’ve been in OP’s situation before and that’s usually what I say too. I do think Mason needed some humbling and he should have known that him getting rejected was a possibility. Anyway, love you and your videos, Annamarie! 💜

[@reckless_herb]

imagine watching your wife give birth or go through a c-section, and be upset when you have to help her. YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS!!! You don’t get to choose to have a kid and not be a parent.

[@tay1064]

I don’t think he was upset he had to help her, but more that he came back to her without her being able to compromise at all and subsequently finding out that she wasn’t in pain for the rest of the day anyway.

[@Aaron-hv4hr]

@@tay1064 let’s be real. He was upset that he had to help, not because of the help, but because he had other priorities in mind. That guy needs to grow up.

[@reckless_herb]

@@tay1064 there was no guarantee that the ibuprofen that she took would have worked. and even if she was in less physical pain, that does nothing for the mental strain that having a newborn, and knowing you’ll be in pain again soon causes. I see no valid excuses for him to be upset at all

[@tay1064]

@@Aaron-hv4hr Yeah he had other priorities. He’d be the villain here if his wife hadn’t set a precedent earlier in the day by inviting someone over to the house, but she did. Given this, she should’ve been more compromising by saying, “I’ll be fine with 1 or 2 coming over” or “I’ll be fine with them coming over another day.” Her just not wanting to talk about and telling him to come home isn’t what I imagine a decent relationship looks like. If this situation was switched to some degree, like the man was in chronic pain from something but invited someone over, and then his wife wanted to do the same later on, I’m guessing most of the comments would say “you have to consider her feelings, if he was able to bring someone over then she should be able to as well.” I personally feel like a lot of the people siding with the woman unrelentingly are just biased against men wanting to find reprieve from childcare as well and think that their relaxation is less important than women’s. He expressed his empathy for his wife and seemed like he was genuinely looking for compromise.

[@tay1064]

@@reckless_herb I believe the precedent she set I citing someone over earlier that day gives him a reason to be a but upset. Although I don’t think he should’ve kept talking about it after he decided to come home anyway, as it was already over then and she was obviously in pain at that moment. My perspective is that we should always strive to keep things fair between partners, so if they had a re-established rule to keep people out of the house post-birth, but she broke that rule (or whatever it was, I don’t exactly remember) then there should be some reprieve for him as well. Maybe not while she’s in pain, but she should’ve made more of an effort to say “yo there’ll be other times where I’ll be alright with it, just not for today” instead of the whole “no just come home now idc about what you’re doing”

[@olivergregory5093]

That kid definitely had the totally wrong takeaway. Even if she was straight and single, no means no.

[@angryotter9129]

During my postpartum period, I did not want to be around crowds. What with a crying baby, pain, risks of illness…people being around was such a hassle. I needed silence and occasionally just one person to chat with or help out.

[@k.labpickle]

For the first story, the “baby bump” is called a “bump” when there’s no baby anymore He’s saying her stomach (either because of a C Section or from her organs repositioning themselves after carrying a HUMAN) is hurting her. If she’s 6 weeks along that means she’s out of her meds, or coming off of them, which is why the pain gets so much worse.

[@maeann7191]

When people are paying for me especially if it’s dinner and drinks I’ll let them pay my meal and a beer maybe a shot after that my desserts appetizers and remaining drinks I’ll pay for myself and vocalize that myself to the server because I’m an indulgent girl and that’s no one else’s problem but myself and my husband :o)

[@jayshmay]

I’ve been on the other side of the Hannah situation, sort of. Before I discovered I was actually a trans guy, I was sorta out but not really at school as a lesbian. A girl came up to my and my good friend Alex and giggled while asking if we were dating. Apparently everyone thought we were. He replied “no, Jay’s a lesbian.” I was absolutely mortified as the girl backed up from me very quickly. Then I got avoided by most of the girls at that school and ended up leaving at the end of the semester because of how isolated I felt there. The friend did the best she could think of in that instant while still considering how her friend would feel. (Also I don’t blame Alex at all, he didn’t understand the severity of doing that and it was in 2016, so people were starting to be more accepting but there were places where it wasn’t.) I’m just glad Hannah got to choose to come out to people in that class.