Aphantasia - SDAM

Aphantasia and SDAM or severely deficient autobiographical memory as you could also say, it affects my memory and how I experience my past or historical thoughts and events in my life, a few people I know that have aphantasia have SDAM as well. I am writing a book to try and explain my experiences, I will possibly do a few KZbin clips on this subject as it’s complex to understand and even explain.

[@samanthal3766]

I’m pretty sure I have this too. All my friends have so many more memories than I do about their childhood and their daily experiences. I never really have stories to share about my life because I really don’t remember enough. Nothing really comes to mind if something asks me to tell them a personal story. It really sucks cuz it makes it harder to have a conversation since I don’t remember enough of my life to have much to say

[@jiujiulee2677]

You showed me why I don't like to talk to people

[@My-cat-Kimchi]

It’s something that bothers me all the time. I find that music will trigger memories but I re-read my diary and had no memory of anything I wrote about. My mother used to tell me I must have been a very unhappy child because I couldn’t recall any of our vacations. Only things I repeat or do all the time are locked in and even then I couldn’t tell you how I know them. It’s getting worse as I get older or I just have more that I don’t remember. 😢

[@alankendle]

Susan Hugill I think it’s getting more noticeable for me now i am in my late 50’s but friends around me struggle to access their own memories, so hard to distinguish between the condition and how i could be without it. I wish I had recorded more In writing when I was much younger, I literally remember nothing from my teenage years.I am writing a book about have SDAM to try and help explain it as it’s complex for people to understand

[@1monto1]

After a lot of research I am confident I have this SDAM.

[@Ashleyishafag]

I have aphantasia of all my senses and SDAM

[@mgray3130]

I've been looking into this for years now. After I developed epilipsy, I have lost all of mine, but a few. It's taking years to find something like this!

[@mangoblaze]

I have something kinda similar but it's moreso that my memories just don't have visuals (or have weak flickery visuals) but I do have some emotions and facts attached to it so if someone were to open a photo album in front of me I'd be like yeah I (vaguely) remember that day and roughly when it was taken and I have a sense of having been there. However, If you were to ask me without any visual aids like photographs to recall my most vivid memory - I have at best a few grainy snapshots that flicker in and out which I can't hold still in my mind - I remember what happened (kind of like a fact) and how I felt but the images in my head are extremely weak and barely there.

[@viktoria6717]

that’s exactly how i feel

[@nespith]

The whole thing is kind of confusing because I have a very good semantic memory but I can't in anyway see or hear memories.

[@mangoblaze]

me too

[@CaptainPIanet]

Shit, I didn't even thing about auditory memories. All my memories are soundless.

[@biaberg3448]

Amanda in the channel “ I am mind blind” talks about this. She says it’s like have a book with the index, but all the chapters are empty. I think there are different grades of SDAM.

[@a.evansrn107]

I have this and recently found out there is actually a name for it. I also don’t remember anything .... I, like you remember I had a dog but don’t remember how I felt having a dog or don’t remember playing with any of our animals. My mom will often say don’t you remember when .... example, we went to Disney World or camping. I don’t remember. To me I remember as much as if she were just to make up a story and tell me. I don’t remember the experience

[@z1mvad3r]

I feel like I have borderline aphantasia but not full on aphantasia. I don't have many memories but my visualization is almost non existent. I can just put together the description of something in my mind but I can't see it. It's hard to explain but learning that other people can visualize things as well as they can actually see blew my mind. The closest I've ever come to that is I could see blobs of colors, but no defined shapes or objects and only when I attempted meditation and really really tried to control my breathing and posture with my eyes closed. When you brought up the memory void of your dog, I know I used to have a dog but I can think I can visualize what she looked like? Idk this is interesting. Id say I have a very low visualization but I still see black? It's so hard to explain haha. But I did learn that most people seem to have a much better visualization component in their mind than my own.

[@dmphax]

I am pretty sure I have SDAM, I don't retain memories at all, but I can visualize in the moment current events.

[@animeshrastogi8315]

Do you retain factual information?

[@felixalexanderhasler596]

I (or we) don’t have a relationship with the past. So each little moment is everything and nothing. It’s sad to know that beautiful experiences are kinda worthless. I do know that I was happy and full of love this afternoon but it hasn’t got anything to do with now. (Falling asleep is really hard too. Now way of distracting yourself from thinking of your problems.)

[@felixalexanderhasler596]

No way*

[@ChloesanctuaryOrg]

I learned something else about SDAM. Friends took me to see the last hobbit movie which they chose to see in 60 frames per second. I walked out of the theater realizing that I had absolutely no recollection of the movie. It was too close to reality. I didn’t even make semantic memory of the movie or the theater experience itself . If you get a chance I’d like to know what your experience is of 60 fps.

[@erickrodrig.z7101]

you have aphantasia?

[@gga474]

Hiya, I found your vid researching a different topic, repressed memories. I'm curious to know if anyone with the condition experienced trauma as a child and if this has somehow affected how the brain manages memories?

[@youlleatamuffinandlikeit4596]

I'm quite certain I have SDAM and I did have what I feel to have been a traumatic childhood. I remember almost nothing, of course, but the emotions are there. I also wonder if SDAM and childhood trauma are linked- it certainly seems that way from what I've seen in other people's accounts. If you want to know more about SDAM/chat with people who have it, there's a subreddit dedicated to SDAM: reddit.com/r/SDAM

[@ChloesanctuaryOrg]

@@youlleatamuffinandlikeit4596 Recent research in Canada has shown that this is not due to trauma. Apparently we are born with this disorder.

[@hunter123grimm]

Are you glad that you figured out that you have aphantasia or would you rather it never be revealed to you? Also, extending to that question, would you have rather known earlier in your life or later? I figured out that I have it at a very young age and this has only caused worry and problems for me.

[@alankendle]

I took quite a few months to feel fine with it, and I am now totally ok with knowing. On the question of knowledge when much younger, I would have taken many, many more pictures and videos of day to day stuff, and other useful stuff, also I would have changed how I learn because now I am aware about what methods could be more effective in learning for me. Hope that helps understand me, just ask if you need more thoughts about what I think 💭

[@erickrodrig.z7101]

How you feel now, i wanna die