【Apple】My ex-husband and his sister thought I was useless and kicked me out. Then reality kicked in.

[@AFriendVA]

I'm a 24/7 caregiver to a loved one with dementia. Thank you guys for actually portraying how hard caregiving truly is. Love to all the caregivers here. God knows we need it.

[@jazzyjonas6646]

I agree. My grandmother had it and it was really tough for us. I was the only one out of my siblings that helped care for her. They were really uncomfortable so my parents, my other grandmother and her friend helped out

[@coralmaynard4876]

@@jazzyjonas6646 This might sound crappy of me, but... I don't blame them. Some people just don't have the skills, patience, love or dedication for certain things. When my nan was in a nursing home with dementia (or Alzheimer's, can never remember which), I was afraid to even visit her - I wanted to remember her as I knew her! And I know that working with those kinds of people can involve violence, shouting, swearing... plus the idea of bathing or changing the nappy of an elderly person just creeps me out... I'd do it for a baby easily, but I just couldn't with an elderly person... those who can handle all of this do a great job, so while I don't blame your siblings, the fact you could do it was great and to be commended.

[@thecelticcrone7927]

I was Blessed that I could take Family Emergency Leave from my 2 jobs & so I was able to be the Caregiver to my 2nd Mom in her last 2 yrs with us. She didn’t have Dementia, however she was quite the Handful. Early on, her husband tried to Hire Home Healthcare Ppl…she just chased them off. And while it Was HARD Physically & Emotionally, I never regretted taking care of her. ❤

[@coralmaynard4876]

@@thecelticcrone7927 And NEVER regret it! I sometimes wonder if I should have seen my nan before she passed... it's not something I can take back, I was too scared to see her though. Taking care of your mum may have been hard, but no doubt she appreciated everything you did for her ❤

[@thecelticcrone7927]

@@coralmaynard4876 It truly felt like a Blessing to be able to spend so much time with her. She was my 2nd Mom… My Birth Mom, who raised me, died suddenly when I was 14, so I was ever More Blessed to not only be Gifted a 2nd Mom, but to have the opportunity to be there For Her & to be given the chance to say goodbye.

[@tracynorth2275]

Looking after someone with dementia is very difficult. He has zero idea what it is truly like. 🤦‍♀️

[@jaclynsanture6643]

My uncle on my mom's side had dementia, he and his wife my aunt both passed last year.

[@trixmania]

He would if he actually helped out

[@Gazing-09]

​@@jaclynsanture6643My deepest condolences.

[@jaclynsanture6643]

@@Gazing-09 Thank you

[@tylerjones6104]

It really is difficult. I remember looking after my own grandmother when she had it. She just got worst and worst.

[@vtoon5901]

As a CNA, I see Dan's behavior and attitude towards his mother with dementia as both deplorable and criminal. I'd get my license revoked and arrested if I did anything like that. Good on Jess for doing to proper thing and calling the authorities to report this.

[@melissawood1506]

Everything is always "easy" when they aren't the one doing it

[@txquilter608]

As a previous caregiver, thank you for showing how difficult it really is. So many caregivers get no support.

[@BIGBLOCK5022006]

Dan: "Are bed sores a big issue?" Me: "Yes, shit for brains, bed sores are a big issue. They can become infected or necrotic and possibly require surgery to resolve the problems along with the need for intense antibiotics."

[@annanderson7]

So very true!

[@tracydimond3759]

Having been a cna, i've seen residents come from hospitals with bedsores and some with decube's. Once i assisted my nurse while he took pictures of a tiny little gentleman's decube, and then he did woundcare. He held his fist near the wound and they were pretty much the same size. My nurse sent me to get the administrator and D.O.N. when they showed up, suffice it to say all heck broke loose. Police were called, family too. And the reaidents Doctor.

[@eileenperez5311]

. ....

[@Nitro89]

My little sister works in home care for the elderly and shes had to deal with bed sores from what she has told me the smell is absolutely horrendus

[@julie.1081]

@Timothy Robertson I'm glad you're taking such good care of your Gma. Do you mind a little suggestion or 2? A couple years ago, I had cut my leg several times when I shaved my legs. The injuries just refused to heal for almost a whole year & I had tried everything I could think of. I finally wised up & asked my Mom for advice. She told me to try diaper rash ointment (like Desitin ointment). I tried it & my legs healed completely in days! It works especially good when someone older has thin skin. If she scratches a spot over & over, it may be because the nerve in that spot is "misfiring" for want of a better descriptor. If the skin is open & before it gets worse, use the ointment then cover it with some gauze pads. Then use an Ace bandage to cover. Make sure you keep checking on it. Try to avoid using things like Band-Aids. Her skin may be so thin that taking a Band-Aid off may tear her skin even more. Also, give your Gma something to keep her hands occupied. My Gma used to scratch herself if she didn't have anything to concentrate on. My Gma used to love holding a doll as a suggestion. If she's non-verbal, try teaching her with flash cards. Even though she could no longer talk, my Gma could still tell us certain things by pointing to a card. Just get some blank index cards & some glue sticks. Then get busy making some up that could help. If you need any other advice, just let me know. I'd be more than help to help in any way I can!

[@briarvalley8309]

Omg, I've never felt so bad for a good mother-in-law has I have in this one. Poor thing....

[@imaniislander755]

Gezz getting kicked out was probably the best thing they did for her

[@imaniislander755]

28 minutes in

[@mothertrucker936]

That pos saved himself at least 100k in care for dad then mom and has the audacity to kick her out laughing. She should’ve sued the pants off of him.

[@quix66hiya22]

And she missed having kids due to him tricking her.

[@mothertrucker936]

@@quix66hiya22 yep. Don’t mess up your dreams for anybody. You never get that time back

[@audreygoode9321]

I was a medical worker before I retired and I have the upmost respect for people who work in the medical field ❤️💯

[@BonnieSetliff]

Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash...

[@DarylSimpson58]

amazing,i am kinda in a similar situation,how did you handle it?

[@BonnieSetliff]

@@DarylSimpson58 well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

[@DarylSimpson58]

@@BonnieSetliff please how can i get in touch with the spiritual adviser?

[@BonnieSetliff]

@@DarylSimpson58 her name is *Victoria Lee Hess* ,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

[@BonnieSetliff]

you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

[@evelynberrios8164]

OP you are a wonderful daughter in law. Calling the authorities was the right thing to do. MIL was abused by both her son and daughter. Selfish people no excuses.

[@steveroe6771]

Dan is the perfect example of an airhead who has to have his hand held. Also, he lacks any kind of compassion to even begin taking care of his mother.

[@glenpersinger3390]

Exactly 💯 who do these wives think they are, I mean really!!!

[@glenpersinger3390]

The ex should have been happy to clean up the dooky for free.

[@lesleyvivien2876]

@@glenpersinger3390 😆😆😆

[@lesleyvivien2876]

@@glenpersinger3390 😆 I had to look up dooky. Never say the internet isn't educational.

[@glenpersinger3390]

A polite way to say 💩 is dooky.

[@mleighqs]

This story made me both sad and upset. My brother and I take care of our elderly mother and neither of us would ever allow her to get to such a state. I feel so sad for that woman. Her adult children should be ashamed of themselves and they should both be arrested for elder abuse. It scares me to think what conditions that baby is in.

[@loris1620]

In the US, nurses are mandated reporters and must report abuse and neglect. The visiting nurses should have done so, and so should Jess. But wow, are Dan and Miriam are in a world of legal trouble. Edit: I should have waited for the end before commenting. Yay Jess!

[@hookedonreactions7649]

I also would like to point out for any young people that there are caregiver respite services available in some areas of the US.

[@michaelgum97]

Question, what kind of consequences could Dan be facing for elder abuse and neglect?

[@diannechapman3673]

​@@michaelgum97 I would say prison for what he and his sister did to their mother

[@Icyangel10]

@@michaelgum97 I tried looking it up, one page mentioned at the very least in Florida third-degree felony punishable by 5 years in prison & $5,000 fine while a second-degree felony carrying up to 15 years of jail time & $10,000 in fines. New York has it that assault of someone 65 or older is second-degree assault if the victim is 10 or more years older than the abuser. There was some others such as in Ohio charges for financial abuse the abuser has to pay full restitution plus fines of up to $50,000 but yeah pretty much there's a large likelihood of heft fines & he's probably getting fired from his job.

[@susanhansen1290]

Feel sorry for the mom who lost the only person she knew and trusted.

[@KN3LL]

You cant just Ignore elders you must protect them at all cost even when your tired i watch my grandpa everytime I visit him i love him and i watch him if he has no food i pay with my own money i dont care if he wants to pay me back i tell him no im just helping you i dont need the money he watch me as a kid so i at less would help him out even if it cost me $500 a month.

[@z.stone9016]

A nurse is a mandated reporter. Jess should have called when she first started to get her ex husband's calls. Letting the situation get out of control was wrong. I'm glad the day nurse called.

[@ellenhage3611]

I hate that it took them so long with the assessment. They should have been there immediately.

[@Madhattergal]

As someone who went through this with my own grandmother it makes me mad hearing a husband who doesn't understand how it is taking care of someone who can't do anything anymore. Spend 24hrs with them and see how that goes. People who don't understand who is it should just shut up and say nothing!

[@glenpersinger3390]

Good 👍 point, God bless you 🙏.

[@sandrahertel6282]

I’m glad this issue of seniors with dementia is being discussed. It is a serious problem. With a lack of care facilities for people. Just heartbreaking. This guy is a moron and should be charged with elder abuse.

[@thatonegirl4676]

You'd think that the home healthcare nurse would have already called the authorities about the elder abuse. Nurses are mandatory reporters (along with doctors, teachers, caregivers, caseworkers, etc.).

[@lindahill7315]

Good evening, everyone. Bedsores are not something to sneeze at. Yes, a person can die from a infected bedsore. Unfortunately elder abuse is common

[@aliciachristensen4418]

i would submit an invoice for all my labor taking care of the parents. reality check.

[@kinasakuraba]

That's what I would title it, too 🤣 "Dan, I have left the reality check next to the divorce papers in your study. Please promptly pay it in addition to the alimony."

[@susanhansen1290]

So he only married her so he didn't have to pay for a caregiver for his dad first then his mom.

[@francishunt562]

He did pay but without realising it, because Jess got half the inheritance.

[@kinasakuraba]

And then he was dumb enough to let his sister kick her out and he divorced her. Way to let your master plan fall apart in the final stretch 🤦‍♀️ I thought for sure the SIL was gonna be texting her for a million things and it might get resolved with the mom passing and Jess getting all the inheritance money. I know they've done that already but that's why I thought it would go that way lol

[@glenpersinger3390]

Yes exactly 💯 👏 🙌 👌 😄 😌 💯 👏 🙌

[@lesleyvivien2876]

"Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself."

[@briannamcdaniel266]

What Dan and Miriam did was straight up *ABUSE.* ETA: Spelt the scumbag sister's name wrong.

[@melaniebishop480]

ETA estimated time of arrival?

[@susanhansen1290]

The visiting nurses should report him for elder abuse.

[@susanhansen1290]

The nurse did report him.

[@diannechapman3673]

Yes, she definitely needs to get the authorities involved as that is just abuse what both Dan and Miriam did I should know because I was a carer

[@mambomta]

​@@melaniebishop480Edited To Add

[@grandmakaren4680]

So, locking the doors from the inside that can only be opened with a key sounds like a prescription for disaster in case of a fire?

[@ss.surprise]

It might not be optimal for a fire, but most people don't live completely optimally for a fire at night, they have their doors locked and windows locked because robbery is a more common risk. The key doesn't have to be hidden far away, just needs to be somewhere she can't get it like in a hidden compartment ornament or in a book nearby, somewhere she won't think to look or won't know to.

[@snidecommenter7117]

Dan: Wow... That's pretty cold of you to say... I'm really disappointed in you, Jess. Jess: You know, that is a pretty lame ass attempt at social engineering, don't you think? Hmm... I'm feeling generouse. I'll even let you try again. See if you can do better. Go ahead.

[@michaelzona9880]

Sister Mirium should be held equally responsible for lack of care and abandoning her sick Mother

[@lauraaustin5378]

As a caregiver she is a required reporter. If she doesn't report him she can get into serious trouble.

[@jonborchardt5548]

The moral of the movie, er, story, is: Careful who you kick out. Once they're gone, it's too late.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Oh good grief why would you have to take care of a pregnant adult? Pregnancy isn’t a disease, people been taking care of themselves for centuries. It’s ridiculous to expect someone to take care of you. Unless it’s high risk or your really sick, especially your SIL that’s not your job.

[@juneannbrusie2042]

Why does a pregnant woman not having any problems need someone else to take care of her? Also, why wouldn't the mother take care of her own baby after it's born?

[@tooth2887]

this guy reminds me of my cousin. he did the bare minimum and basically left my aunt to rot. another difference is my aunt didn't have dementia and she also couldn't move but the state she was in was horrid and her room was an absolute nightmare..... we called 911 twice and then one last time a lot later where she ended up in the hospital and then passed in said hospital. we moved in before she passed and lived with her for like a year or something before that and all I can say about that time was I learned to feel nothing but hatred for him. he caused her to tell me she wished I was her son because of how little he did. I DID THE BARE FUCKING NECCESITIES. I BARELY HELPED. I DID ALMOST NOTHING AND SHE SAID THAT. he is worthless to me for what he did to her. I wish I did more and kept her alive but I wasn't yet an adult so not much I could do other than clean and help her with food. here are some little.... highlights of how he proved he was worth absolutely nothing. one is how when she almost got sepsis and needed a shit ton more rest/needed to quit the job he was forcing her to keep (which she actually had retired from but he forced her to get back) instead of being understanding and trying to help his own mother he said "whats going to happen to MY money!" not HER money, HIS. apparently she had no money and it was all his. also this wasn't concern about how he was going to live and have food and pay for the household, it was money for his near infinite spendings in fast food and video games. did I mention he also refused to get a job because he had to "focus on school" that he WAS FORCING HER TO FUCKING DO THE HOMEWORK FOR!!?? HE IS IN FUCKING COLLEGE AND HE DID THAT TO HER. people like this are disgusting. great video though, really evoked anger for how shitty a person he was being. little edit to add on something that adds more reasons why he is a asshole, while he was gone and his mom passed he nearly got sent to jail in a foreign country and forcing him (and or his mother) to pay for both a ticket home and bail. he's also crashed 3 different cars and gotten into 2 lawsuits for them and nearly got arrested both times, one because he ignored the court order and the other it's cause he was driving without a license after it was revoked from the other crash. you'd think someone would learn after the first crash, he didn't. you'd think someone would learn if it happened again if they didn't the first time, he didn't. and the third time? still didn't even though he was driving without a license again and got caught. all of the cars were bought by his dad who has no job and 3 or 2 cats to take care of. all while his house is a wasteland that could be in a fallout game. I got 3 from my aunt and the ones he has are all his.

[@tswain92_]

Kudos to you for having a good heart and a good brain. He's definitely going to get what's coming to him one day.

[@rhio-ohki6107]

I'd bill him for all the Hours she spent looking after his parents 😂 that would see how valuable she was

[@margaretadam2222]

Well this was a bit different. Covering a serious topic and well written. My mother had dementia and caring for her at home was hard. I just wish they had given the ex-husband some kind of punishment in the ‘after that’ section because it was definitely elder abuse. Well done Air texts.

[@shaynellmesadieu]

Always respect healthcare workers

[@georgiegal6745]

My grandma's got dementia. I won't even lie, I heard "The walls are stained from where she's thrown her dirty diapers!" and I started chortling and said "Oh, yeah. I know those times!" Only, my Gramma will either toss the dirties in the shower, under the bathroom sink, or wash them in the toilet, then tear them up and flush them. It took us a while to figure out that last one!

[@georgiegal6745]

And let's not forget when I discovered that she was taking the dishes and washing them in the toilet. Or how she will pour whatever juice or tea or whatever on the floor and use her napkin to clean it. Honestly, I just let her do it, then go behind her and clean up. Except for the toilet dishes! That I nipped in the bud!! Limits, People!!

[@paperkay]

Guess "I only married you so you'll be a free nurse to my ailing parents and now you can pack and leave" wasn't the best strategy.

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Enjoy the rest of your day everyone 👋🤗 From Louisiana 🐊

[@Mrstigger747]

👋🏼🇨🇦. Hey Bridget

[@steveroe6771]

Good evening from West Michigan.

[@lolarowe4604]

Hi from ohio❤

[@shaundagaffney8335]

Good evening from Northern Indiana everyone 😀

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Good evening from Louisiana 🐊

[@Mrstigger747]

Evening from Chilliwack BC Canada 🇨🇦

[@jenniferbeyer6412]

Taking care of a disabled person is very hard. And mental illness is the hardest. So glad mom was finally given the care she deserved. The day nurse was helping where she could. It's very hard to put a family member in a nursing home, but it's an unfortunate necessary option. It's sad but most people can give that type of care to a parent and the parent is the one who suffers. Dan and his sister are idiots. They will get what they deserve someday.

[@candycore5747]

Sending hugs all the way from the UK 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@warrirornunluv801]

If you're good at something...never do it for free

[@ruthgriffiths7365]

I just Googled Decubitus Ulcer... please don't! Anyone who could let an elderly or immobile person get into such a state should be publicly whipped and then locked up for thirty years... at the very least. I am utterly horrified. I assumed that I was viewing post mortem photographs, I was wrong. It seems incredible that anybody could be in such a dire state yet still be alive.

[@carolroberts4614]

It is counted as neglect in nursing homes( in the UK anyway) if a resident has bedsores!

[@AuntLoopy123]

"Pretty busy"? PRETTY BUSY?! He has NO IDEA how busy she is, already, with housekeeping for a family AND caretaking for a dementia patient. He has NO IDEA.

[@janapeterson5967]

I hope she asked for compensation

[@JohannaNazareen1225]

Taking care of a dementia patient is extremly hard. It's a 24/7 job. And it takes more then just one person. And you need to know how to do it. It is a hell for only one person to do.

[@youmadhuh6375]

I would've reported them both for Elderly Abuse and neglect.. he isn't equipped or smart enough to take care of her.. he doesn't give a crap about his own mom, he's not going to care about you.. .. he would've made a crappy father.. them kicking her out was the best thing for her.. she was released from hell

[@loudelk99]

He hasn't got a clue how hard it is to deal with a dementia patient.

[@sherrygrobaski7615]

Why would Miriam need someone to take care of her? She's pregnant, not an invalid. The vast majority of women take care of themselves, their homes and MANY also work while pregnant. And they also manage to take care of their own baby afterwards.

[@gnitsaf]

Admitting that you married someone for free elderly care... I can't help but feel that in real life, that alone would merit an ass chewing from a judge in divorce court.

[@AuntLoopy123]

"I mean, it's just sores, right?" This for the woman who BORE him and raised him. I HATE HIM SO MUCH! OK, deep breaths. In... out... in... out...

[@Allantitan]

It’s been said before and I’ll say it again. Caregiver burnout is real! It’s alot harder than it looks

[@lindadiedrich3162]

Why would his ex wife even speak to him. He's a jerk with no heart.

[@raindancer1872]

Even though she had a baby she can still get her butt up and clean and take care of the baby.

[@renee176]

He doesn't want strangers in his house, but he don't mind putting your mama in a house/facility surrounded by strangers. I'm quite sure he didn't know those daynurses that come to the house either.

[@tammyminder833]

I feel sorry for the mom😢😢

[@annaeller5884]

I hope they put both brother and sister in jail for what they did to their mother!

[@glorywr]

"she's old and weak"....only a person who has never worked in memory care would ever think that meemaw isn't the most dangerous person in the room when the dementia kicks in

[@paden1865able]

My daughter is a CNA and had to stop working in the memory care unit after one of the residents broke two of her ribs during an incident. My daughter is very slim and the place didn't want her to be injured again. She loves her residents, though, and cares for them well.

[@KCmetwo]

We took care of my Grandmother because she didn't want to go into a facility and we made sure that she was taken care of. If she didn't want to get into the shower, then a pan of water and a washcloth would be taken to her and she would take a "spit bath" as she called it. Everyone was surprised I didn't go into nursing. Nah, I have been doing it since I was 4, I'll pass thanks.

[@kimmccarthy7747]

What, no report about Dan getting arrested?

[@tswain92_]

Unfortunately, because there was at least a nurse hired, it wouldn't have qualified as criminal intent. He was just highly incompetent and a moron.

[@haubenmeisewillow-tit331]

Very good story and text. I always like it, when I can learn something along the way! 🙂

[@santos11ish]

Hello from Lansing Michigan!

[@anastasiabonnet26998]

As an in house care for disabled/elderly/toddlers, it's gutwrenching to see family treating others so poorly. The next steps of dementia, from the mother's stage already, are : forgetting/not feeling the urge to go to toilets (she feels something but can't process what it's requiring her to do) and then anger outburts + confusion + fear that can turn against the caregiver very quickly. She needs proper care, the best is a full-time carer or a medical facility able to take care of people with dementia.

[@Iris_Collins]

Gods bless all the caregivers. Hardest job you'll ever love.

[@AuntLoopy123]

I haven't had MUCH experience with dementia patients, but I've had SOME, and I know enough to think LONG and HARD about introducing a baby to the mix. I saw a dementia patient attack a woman in bed, because she was moaning in pain, and he couldn't stand the noise. Imagine if the mother lost her mind about the baby crying. It could be REALLY bad. Not to mention the danger of having a child running in one direction, and a confused senior heading off in the other. There is a REASON they keep those dementia wards LOCKED. You can't keep a baby locked up. Wello, maybe for the first year, or so, but eventually, that kid has to be free to go outside! Even if everything is strictly supervised, you'll practically need an air lock to be able to take the kid to school, without the mother making a break for it. Here's the thing: They don't just get stupid. They get CONFUSED. They forget where they are, and why they are there. But they still remember things, like "I know how to use a hammer, and I know where the toolbox is," and "I know how to use this screwdriver to pop the hinges on the door," and "I know just what household good to slip into my jailer's tea to make her have to run to the bathroom, and stay there, long enough for me to make my escape!" How do I know that they know those things? Well, "sweet little" (I'll call her Victoria) told me ALL about her escape plans. They changed every day, so I heard a LOT of them, and I was only there for a couple of hours, three times a week, for a couple of months. But, yeah, she had a LOT of ideas. Meanwhile (I'll call her Daisy) kept forgetting where she was, and couldn't find her bed, and (I'll call her Mary) just wandered, ALL THE TIME, asking questions. Not a lot of questions, really. Just the same five or so, over and over and over and over and over. And she needed someone to walk with her, so she wouldn't fall. They needed to offer her their arm for her to lean on. And don't get me started on the theft. I don't know if she was an actual kleptomaniac, but (Darlene) just could not keep track of what was hers and what wasn't. Maybe she had been like that forever, thinking "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine," or maybe she just had NO CLUE. I couldn't tell. She wasn't MY mother. I was just there for my mother, you know? We never did get that watch back. It was heart-breaking, visiting the dementia ward. But, you know what? When someone there decided that I was their daughter or granddaughter, I just rolled with it. It made them happy, for a little while. But, no, I would NOT introduce a new baby to that mix. MAYBE bring a baby for short visits, like a half hour, or something, where I held the baby the whole time, AND there was someone there, keeping guard, so that nobody who freaked out could actually reach me and the baby. But LIVING together? NOOOOOOOOO! Dementia is SERIOUSLY special needs! And you NEVER know what they're going to do next. You don't know when they'll decide that it's a good idea to strip naked, scream about how cold they are, and make a break for it! I'm 2:22 in, and I'm APPALLED and HORRIFIED that this family would even CONSIDER this. Look, I get that you want to support the single-mother sister. But pool your resources and rent out a small apartment for her! The smaller, the better, while the baby is young, because babies don't need much space, and you want as little housekeeping as possible, because those tiny humans require an ENORMOUS amount of effort, time, energy, and money! But give it a year in a tiny place, and you can slowly upgrade, you know? And for goodness' sake, PLEASE do not tell me that these people expect the caregiver for the dementia patient to ALSO take care of the mother-to-be and the baby, right? No, PLEASE, NO! I'm afraid I can already see where this is going, and it's horrifying.

[@ellenhage3611]

I would call adult services so that poor woman can be taken care of. I would make sure he was arrested for how poorly he took care of his mother.

[@johexxkitten]

Report them for elder abuse... For the sake of the mother...

[@julie.1081]

Anyone who thinks taking care of someone with dementia is easy is so ignorant they deserve to get community service helping other dementia patients (under supervision of course).

[@cheekychicka]

This one really angered me. The very notion that a woman who had given her life to raise her family wears ignored and abandoned by them when their mother needed them both. I hope charges were filed and that she was able to regain her dignity in the care home. I would never hesitate to call authorities to do wellness checks. We owe it to ourselves and others to be contributing members to civil society. What they did was ABUSE, no sugar coating or excuses.

[@dudra2469]

Why is it an issue of taking care of his sister even on the table?

[@aliciachristensen4418]

dan you take care of your mom by yourself for a week.

[@nancyjay790]

Mercy, this story makes me cross. Mainly because of what happened with the mother/MIL. My grandfather wanted to be independent for as long as possible, including living in an apartment about five miles from my parents' house, and for nearly two years, my mom (only child) and I regularly came round to clean his place and make sure he was doing okay. It wasn't easy, and when he started having troubles with regular things, we began looking for a place where he could be looked after. Fortunately, his health was mostly okay, but I had to help him with bathroom stuff a few times etc. Can't say I enjoyed that at all. But this story! To allow any member of your family to live in filth and soiled diapers and rotting food? I almost wish this pair of abusive siblings could be in that position themselves one day, unable to move and surrounded by the mess they couldn't help make and that no one else would clean up.

[@jolenebauser408]

Why on earth does a pregnant woman need someone to wait on them hand and foot? That’s rediculous! You’re not helpless just pregnant!

[@lhuynh731]

Dan and Miriam just wants the money and not caring for mommy dearest.

[@tammyminder833]

I'm glad that she got away from that toxic family

[@Luvenia48]

What is NOT being addressed is the need for care classes for people who care for parents or grandparents at home. We live in America, the so-called greatest country in the world but the people who NEED the most help are the most neglected. The nurses and caregivers are God sent but they are overwhelmed. If we took care of the working, the poor, and those in need as much as we take care of the rich we all be better off.

[@kentjensen4939]

Actions have consequences and Dan is getting hit hard; again the usual ending, throw a new twist into the midst.

[@mjnoir1]

Taking care of a elderly person with so many issues is so hard if you don't have the money you are stuck in a no way situation

[@BabyKangaroo279]

This one made me so sad.

[@lauracatha3625]

No one ever told me about not doing anything for a month. I had a c-section and two tumors removed. My son was in the NIC U because he was born early. I went back and fourth to the hospital every 3 hours to feed and change him myself. Then I went back to work as a construction worker. Maybe that's why my menopause is all out of wack.

[@robfriedrich2822]

I can imagine that if the mother died, the careless ex husband would have blamed the person, who he married to get a nurse for free.

[@ghostwritter1075]

Im a hospice nurse and I also took care of my family members whenever any of them were sick. (Joys of having a nurse in the home i guess!!!) For some reason I was the AUTOMATICALLY APPOINTED CARETAKER of anyone who got sick and when my grandmother started to get dementia for some reason she didn't want ANYONE ELSE but ME to do anything for her and even though I didn't mind because she did the same for me and my siblings when we lost our mom as young kids I put my life on HOLD for her and my grandfather. I never went out, i never took any time off, i was a home body anyway so it kinda didn't bother me but whenever I did want a DAY to myself no one would ever step in until i would literally CRY my EYES OUT!!!! It took me to literally have to WALK OUT the house and force them to help for them to understand what I was feeling and going through. So 1. Thank you guys so much for this story. It touched on so much stupidity of others and how they sometimes feel about caregivers. 2. I REALLY WOULDNT TRADE ANYTHING THAT I DID FOR MY GRANDPARENTS FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!! I LOVED EVERY MOMENT OF IT!!!!! 3. I LOVE when people get their JUST DESSERTS in the end. I love when they come crawling back like they didn't do ANYTHING and it bites them in the butt!!!!!! Much THANKS and LOVE to ALL my FELLOW CAREGIVERS!!!!!!!!! WE ROCK!!!!!!!!!!

[@helenworley5903]

Ignorance is a super sad condition

[@dimandmage123]

Evening everyone

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Evening 👋

[@heyitzaimee]

good evening 😊💙

[@Mrstigger747]

Hi 👋🏼🇨🇦

[@carolroberts4614]

Hello!

[@Iris_Collins]

Howdy!

[@robfriedrich2822]

In these type of stories I would use the advantages of chat communication and quote the old postings by screen shot. "Here, read for yourself, what you said. Some things you said, you can't take back. When you play the game by some specific rules, why do you expect that I follow other rules?"

[@MariaVasquez-rq7rp]

I liked the different colors "Caption Bubbles" for each speaker.

[@lopsided518]

So what happened to the son, was he arrested?Fined? Lose his job? And the no good sister?

[@iaishajohnson]

Being bathed only 2/wk when urine and feces are left on her for hrs on end isn’t enough bathing. I hope he does peri care at least every morning before he leaves and as soon as he comes home. That’s awful to hear. Poor woman has 2 awful children who would kick out the only person that was caring for her. That’s heartbreaking.

[@AuntLoopy123]

And what happened to Dan?! He can't stand to go into her room, but expects her to LIVE in it?! Locked in, yet?! He deserves to be arrested, and so does Miriam, in my opinion. I want to see Dan get his REAL comeuppance, and not just him realizing that OP was right, all along. Dang! But I am VERY glad that the mother was sent to a home, where she'll receive PROPER care. And I hope that OP goes and visits her there. And I'd love to see the mother tell her where her will is, just in time for the mother to die peacefully, safe and happy in the knowledge that the woman who spent years serving her will receive a big chunk of change (once the will is found and executed, that is). Hopefully while Dan rots in prison.

[@susangamble6888]

Make him do everything and mom for one day

[@n.a.8050]

Dementia, post partum and a newborn. Karma really kicked Dan in the nuts hard, no? 😂

[@timmoffat3182]

My mom had dementia I was sleeping on the couch in the living room because I was afraid of her walking out the door . One time she got up and walked around the house and she didn't recognize it

[@susanhansen1290]

Doesn't Miriam have a husband or did he kick her out? Isnt the kid his or does she know?

[@allicooper8641]

The ex-nurse in me wants to chat to Dan. With a rusty nail encrusted baseball bat.

[@tswain92_]

In the U.S., if you ever come across an instance where an elderly or disabled person is not being cared for. Before it gets bad, please call Adult Protective Services. They are a branch of the Department of Social Services. Call them, give as much information as you can, and they'll take it from there. Do not hesitate!.

[@joansamuels3241]

Jess should take a day off and leave Dan home alone with his mother for 24 hours...and with her phone off.

[@veronicajules844]

The money is your exwife own❤❤ and i love love it

[@susangamble6888]

You could make ex pay you so you will not worry about your exMil.

[@barbaraunderwood1762]

Just cause sister is pregnant doesn’t mean she can’t take care of herself before & after the baby comes. I had other children to take care after u came home with the newborn. I had 5. My mom came for a week each time & than I was on my own but I didn’t lay n bed all the time. He’s finally realizing how hard it is. 😂😂😂😂😂He’s getting what he deserves.