Are Autistic People More Vulnerable? | Autism Experiences

Hi! I’m Claire, and this is my channel, Woodshed Theory. Here you will find the awkward ramblings of an adult autist. I love being creative and sharing my experiences with you. Subscribe to see more DIYs, Discussions, and Bunnies on your feed!
I often get the comment that I am very vulnerable for talking about being on the autism spectrum. I've given it some thought to why and today we're talking about why I think ASD people are perhaps more vulnerable than neurotypical people.
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[@buttercxpdraws8101]

My vulnerability as an undiagnosed autistic woman led to a lot of exploitation, confusion and very negative experiences for me. Looking back, I realise that I’m genuinely fortunate to even be alive to tell the tale. It makes me cry to realise how vulnerable I was, and how poorly I was treated, and also how strangely I behaved at times. I’m really happy that the ASD diagnosis made me realise that these things happened because I was vulnerable. Not cos I was bad, or stupid. Tho I still sometimes feel that way ✌️🙃

[@WoodshedTheory]

Gosh I feel the same way - how did I survive cause I put myself into so precarious situations.

[@michelelovesbooks]

I think I was definitely more vulnerable when I was younger maybe even until my twenties. I would trust easily, I’d always see the best in people, and I would often overshare very early on. I was always shocked when these people would turn out to be totally different than what they seemed, or when they would take advantage of my kindness and willingness to be vulnerable. I am way more private and reserved now and I always try to proceed with caution.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi Michele this very much describes my experience as well. I'm much more careful than I used to be.

[@passaggioalivello]

Hi Claire, I hope KZbin doesn't delete my comment this time. I think this is one of the most important videos on your channel. Vulnerability in autistic people, especially during childhood, could be used by bad people to do horrible actions to us. My social life was always empty, so I seldom had the chance to show my vulnerability.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hey Pass, I am seeing your comment. I'm not sure what it was about the last one. I know sometimes if you used a flagged word or phrase they can filter it out but I didn't see it so I don't know. Thanks for liking the video. It takes me a while to write out the script for videos like this because the idea isn't as solid in my mind.

[@madcow3417]

I do the oversharing thing, but I have no idea what 'vulnerable' means in this context. Googling: "Vulnerability is a state of emotional exposure that comes with a certain degree of uncertainty. It involves a person's willingness to accept the emotional risk that comes from being open and willing to love and be loved." I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept, will ponder it today.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi friend, yeah I think I was having trouble explaining my thoughts on this so I understand why it is hard to pin down the context.

[@madcow3417]

@@WoodshedTheory No blame here, you just assumed we all understood basic English and human emotions. That's a reasonable assumption on an English language vlog with human viewers. Anyway, I think I understand now. Vulnerable is like a cat that rolls over exposing its stomach to petting. The best petting is on the stomach, but so is the most danger. The cat trusts you to not attack, and, between that trust and the petting your bond grows closer. Until it scratches the shit out of you for petting it one too many times. This analogy may have gotten side-tracked. Also, I'm bleeding now.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Haha I think you got it!

[@orionkelly]

Great insights. Great video. It / you look great.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Dude, I had to change my shirt after I missed my mouth and poured water all over my shirt before hand. Motor skills, who needs them?

[@orionkelly]

@@WoodshedTheory who has them?!

[@WoodshedTheory]

@@orionkelly who wants em? oh... me.

[@Daniel-vl8mx]

I guess that having been burned so many times when I was younger I am much more wary now. Bullying, betrayals, "friendships" that never were, they seem to be common experiences for many of us. I try to watch what I say, and I guess that can come off as a bit reserved (I'm actually hoping for mysterious and interesting, but lets not kid ourselves 😉). The thing that I have learned is that I really don't distinguish accurately between those I really can trust and those I can't. I have no instinct for it, and I have got it very wrong sometimes. I still do, come to that.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hello Daniel I completely relate to you on this.

[@raesyarnaddiction]

I have an 18 year old daughter who was diagnosed as having Asperger’s when she was 14. I also have a son who is 10 and was diagnosed as level 2 autistic at the age of 8. My babies(they will always be my babies!) are very vulnerable in different ways. My daughter is more emotionally open about the difficulties of social interactions and my son is more of the act like it doesn’t bug him. He wraps himself in an air of superiority. I know it bugs him though because I can see it in his eyes. Like he’s trying to solve a problem. I just want to squeeze him and tell him everything will be okay but he hates hugs. But I’m that weird mom that will force my love on him and hug him anyways. Not all the time but most. I just want them to know that they are amazing, smart, and so talented! And if other people can not see that it’s their loss! I love watching your videos! I wanted to let you know that you are amazing and talented! I have been sharing them with my daughter.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Well Rae if you have a yarn addiction then we are already fast friends. I relate to what you are saying about your kids. I know it can be difficult to not give hugs when asd people don't want to be touched when you really want to give them a squeeze. I also struggle not to.

[@whitneymason406]

Definitely agree that we are more vulnerable. I know from experience.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Indeed

[@CathyThwing]

I did nod my head yes at the over-sharing! Since I don't know what is too much, I'll usually share everything or nothing! It's hard to find the moderation that fits social norms. I like communicating through writing because I can edit, just like you mention with KZbin. You did a great job explaining this!

[@WoodshedTheory]

You know my husband and I did a lot of our courtship through writing, I think it helped a lot.

[@heedmydemands]

@@WoodshedTheory that's so interesting. I had a previous relationship where we met in a chatroom and never met for a year so we had mostly just written communication. I think it was really great to have that, it helps to be understood and not distracted by other things like being physically together and what you're doing

[@GemmasJourneyGrace]

Hey sis I watched this earlier and i totally agree with everything you have said and we are definitely vulnerable in many parts and people do not understand

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi Sis, thanks for your comment. I think we have all learned the hard way that this is true.

[@philipswann9753]

Yay! When will we get Claire action figures? :)

[@madcow3417]

I've secretly been carving potatoes into little Claire (and bunny) dolls. I mean action figures. Is this... is this something I'm allowed to do? Are Claire action figures socially acceptable?

[@smicketysmoo]

Maybe Claire could crochet them?

[@WoodshedTheory]

@philip swann ummmmmmmmmm let's make it happen. but only if you never play with it or take it into social interactions. lol

[@WoodshedTheory]

@madcow 3417 whoa that's intense. I think this is socially acceptable as long as you leave them out to rot in the sun.

[@WoodshedTheory]

@smoo smikety what a funny idea. if crocheting my own likeness didn't make me gag i would totally do it!

[@DaveTravelsinTime]

Yes I would say so which is why I'm cautious of new people now been bullied and judged by supposed friends who turn out to be fake mostly neurotypicals fake smiles fake expressions creepy indeed

[@WoodshedTheory]

It’s so hard for me to tell

[@DaveTravelsinTime]

@@WoodshedTheory well at least we can be there for each other people on the spectrum because we understand what it's like to not understand neurotypicals like they don't understand us at times

[@martinkaczynski8526]

@@WoodshedTheory ME TOO.

[@NiinaSKlove]

Yup, yup, and yup. 🤪🤪Great video 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😎

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Niina - yup yup and yup

[@andreaharmon8931]

This video pretty much describes me. Thanks for sharing. I information dump a lot and then I'm left feeling empty because the other person listening doesn't do the same. Then it feels like a one sided relationship. I have been told that it takes years to build relationships. I get that. But still...just skip the small talk and share, is how I roll. I also spent a great portion of my childhood being half or selective mute. I went from saying nothing to saying a lot. I'm trying to find a balance but it's frustrating

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi Andrea thanks for sharing your experience. I also have noticed that I think relationships are deeper than they are… I assume the other person feels the same and they don’t. Always learning I guess.

[@leilap2495]

Thank you for talking about this. I struggle with knowing how much to share. I want to share as much as possible, but I know to hold back. I just don’t know how much 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@WoodshedTheory]

That is so relatable. If I get the sense I can trust a person I start spilling my guts and later realize what I've done and then have to hope they were safe. I've become much more careful now.

[@thekajalflaneur]

Thankyou I get comments on my videos and music like this all the time also. Info dump is what I do heaps... Oh dear. Haha. Thankyou so much for sharing 💕

[@WoodshedTheory]

I love a good info dump 😅

[@9crutnacker985]

I learned fairly early on not to tell anyone anything as it would lead to a serious RS outcome at some point.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Yes, I have learned to be much more careful. Sometimes I still make mistakes but I know that's going to happen.

[@ellen_3]

Yes! Omg oversharing b4 becoming aware that I am autistic was such a norm.....lol I have to remind myself to just say the basics and DO NOT enter anyone else's conversation in line ups etc....they are not my besties 😆 Great video!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Same! I used to feel like I couldn’t hold in any info

[@getthefakepanda8334]

Everything you said resonate with me, I'm still learning and researching about autism. the thought of me actually just a very nice and trusting person to everyone instead of the don't give gives a damn strong person I think I was? base on this and to rethink my past, give me a lot of discomfort and pain. I'm Neurodivergent but I have a feeling that I might be autistic, thank you for making this video

[@sophiegolden]

Hi Claire, yes I was and am still a vulnerable woman. Many people took advantage of me, I was lucky to be not involved in serious problems... Now I take care about myself, my needs, than to be around people... It s my time now 😊

[@WoodshedTheory]

i consider myself lucky as well - things could have been much much worse for me

[@sophiegolden]

@@WoodshedTheory yes me too... We were lucky...👍🏻

[@heedmydemands]

I just wanted to say that you mentioned expecting other people to be good, I definitely do that. I think that's a positive thing. It can be dangerous to be wrong but also sometimes people aren't used to having people treat them like a good person and it can help them be one sometimes I think.

[@heedmydemands]

Also I still want to keep trusting people and that, I guess maybe I haven't learned my lesson. Well I don't think the way I'm acting is bad. But on the other hand I do try to be careful to not share things all the time that put other people close to me in a bad light. I try but I mess it up sometimes

[@WoodshedTheory]

I also want to trust everyone but I have also learned to be more careful

[@heedmydemands]

I'm so glad there are other people out there that are like me, it's such a relief.

[@anniewho4655]

When you yourself can be taken at face value, you tend to assume the same of others. It usually doesn't even occur to me that someone may have a hidden motive or be insincere.

[@WoodshedTheory]

good point

[@madberry]

I’ve had some assessments done as on late, I’ve always found that info dumping during one of those can help(only share what you have to of course keep on topic as much as possible). I find that assessors get overwhelmed with information and that’s helped me get the thing I was being assessed for in the first place. I believe that autistics often learn pretty fast what does and doesn’t work. For me at least if someone takes advantage of me I tend to catch on and clock that experience so I can store it for later use. There is no shame in it happening either I’ve talked to quite a few autistics that this has happened to it happens to a lot of us no matter where on the spectrum you are.

[@WoodshedTheory]

It's so hard not to info dump sometimes

[@Beafree]

I'm thinking the reason I think of you as vulnerable by sharing is because we are in a neurotypical society in which is very much hidden and dare I say fake. Meaning everyone is having a wonderful life and never struggle. So me (an autistic woman) is left wonderful what is wrong with me because I have this constant internal struggle. So when you talk about what you go through and others here share what they go through it's as though I found my family. All my life I've felt like I didn't belong but now suddenly I belong. I'm sorry I'm reminded of a twilight zone episode. 😄 if you were raised watching twilight zone you know which one I mean.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I love the twilight zone! Now I’m not remembering the episode but now I want to rewatch all of it

[@Beafree]

@@WoodshedTheory it's that one episode where the girl's face is covered practically the whole time. The doctor tells her they tried correcting her face because it was SO ugly. When they remove the bandage she's beautiful while everyone in the room is ugly. They then send her to live with her own kind where she's accepted.

[@rebeccathomas2573]

Loved this ❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Rebecca

[@user-zc9wx2pk8y]

I used to be vulnerable, now after being hurt several times, I am self-protective. That may be because I have many (69) undiagnosed 9:28 years under my belt.

[@WoodshedTheory]

I understand the swinging the other way

[@themirrorofthetruth2055]

I did go from being extremely trusting to having trust issues

[@sarahleony]

I was definitely nodding 🙃

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks Sarah - I am trying to share my truth and hopefully relate to others.

[@sunnylight5753]

Appreciate your channel & this Topic 🫶🏼 slightly Off topic, Love Your Hair!! 💚🌱

[@WoodshedTheory]

thanks i loved having green hair

[@VeldaIsababe]

This is so me. I cried as i watched

[@WoodshedTheory]

glad to have you here - you aren't alone

[@DaveTravelsinTime]

Which is why I'm general I'm a little harsher now more weary defensive

[@WoodshedTheory]

Interesting!

[@DaveTravelsinTime]

In general sorry Grammer mistake there lol

[@charlesloukas1946]

Vs. undersharing !?

[@WoodshedTheory]

Good point! I hadn’t considered that in this subject.

[@SilverMoonbeam2]

Maybe we are in the matrix and us autistic people are starting to wake up which is why we’re so different 😂 ha ha I’ve been in a bout of insomnia and I get weird sorry sorry 😅

[@WoodshedTheory]

You know I think I may have chosen to stay in the matrix 😅

[@SilverMoonbeam2]

@@WoodshedTheory at least the matrix is based on predictability and analysis 😂

[@Katiehughes-jd3vp]

I don't like being vulnerable

[@WoodshedTheory]

That’s ok!