i'm just not as hard on myself after diagnosis | porch coffee

[@flyygurl18]

The show and tell segment is so exciting 🥰😍😘

[@WoodshedTheory]

i agree!

[@MartyEliBowerMusic]

Hi Claire, thank you for another great video. I had a stressful day at work yesterday and was sad not to be able to watch until Tuesday morning here in the UK. Felt quite overwhelmed being in the office yesterday so it's nice to come back to this safe space. I have some house projects to continue with so will focus on those alongside work to help minimise my stress levels this week. Hope everyone has a great week

[@whitneymason406]

I am going on a trip to MT at the end of this week. I'm feeling a stressed right now getting everything in order beforehand. I'm also anxious leaving my 2 kids, but particularly my son. I know my husband can physically manage, but I'm the primary caregiver and my son is used to how I do things. I'm going to try really hard to unwind while I'm away and not worry too much. I hope you have a great week, Claire and friends! 💞

[@madberry]

I hope you can find the rest that’s much needed friend. ❤

[@whitneymason406]

​@madberry thank you, friend! 💞

[@jonathon5075]

I hope you can enjoy yourself. MT looks like a beautiful state

[@whitneymason406]

@jonathon5075 thank you, it really is!

[@ghill8587]

I hope you have a great time and that you can relax! Nobody does it like a mom, but a dad can handle it. 😉😎👊🏼

[@chatroom101]

Hahaha that intro "it's autism show and tell" i had to watch it like 5 times so good

[@WoodshedTheory]

thanks i love that clip too

[@simoneholenstein6977]

I‘m sluggish because of the warmth but trying to keep atop of housework and doggy training (my furbaby is a bit too friendly and lo and behold, some people don‘t like 40kg of black fur flying in their face). I‘m also knitting a cute summer dress and crocheting a blanket! lately my brain just needs me to switch it up a bit more so I have a few projects running at the same time 😅 also looking forward to my new diamond painting that will arrive on wednesday 😊 have a great week, everyone

[@WoodshedTheory]

i havent tried diamond painting but it looks like a lot of fun

[@madberry]

Couple of recognizable things again this week. I definitely have to get a tape measure out to check sizes. I’ve definitely ordered too much of something before. The last time I dit is was with a piece of leather that was an expensive mistake lol. The low calorie wine thing is something I would do too. Which is funny because my brain went low calorie wine isn’t that just watered down wine😂. Still would have picked the bottle up. Amsterdam was horrible as usual. Way to busy and my phone want done right away so I had to spend four hours there. And I fell of the stupid glass staircase the Apple Store had by missing a step. I spend the rest of the week resting up from that silly experience. Have a good week Claire and friends. PS I have a box full of washed shorts 😂

[@WoodshedTheory]

sorry to hear about your fall :(

[@madberry]

@@WoodshedTheory Yeah really something for me to do. The security guard had to announce it to the whole store to lol.

[@ladyamalthea85]

I've had a pretty rough day and it's making me feel better to hang out with you and my dog.

[@WoodshedTheory]

yay!

[@spencerdeumer-nt2eu]

Good Morning Claire. Not only do I sing along with your jingle. ( not well) I love that you have Karen on your show. I follow all of her videos. I relate to her journey so well. She is amazing as is your whole community. Very comforting. Looking forward to it

[@WoodshedTheory]

yay! she is great

[@jesusfollower5588]

I love this Show and Tell!! It brings the Autism community together!!

[@MyHumanSuit]

I don't know much about Taylor Swift, mostly because I'm jealous, But I loved your last Taylor Swift crocheted dress. I really think you should do something around a Taylor Swift dress with the rest of that fabric. You could name it after her or for her!

[@WoodshedTheory]

I dont know a lot about her either. Maybe I will do another Taylor video

[@donnellallan]

Thank you for the porch chat, lovely Claire. 💜

[@WoodshedTheory]

have a good week

[@donnellallan]

@@WoodshedTheory Thanks! 😊

[@crystallefay]

Meeeeeeeee!!! I'd love to go on your podcast and talk about my journey!!!

[@crystallefay]

I got my black porch coffee mug!!! How can I send you a picture of it??!!

[@WoodshedTheory]

email me :) email is in the description :)

[@furisjourney]

Good Morning, Clare - I'm glad that your week went well! And may the week to come be a wonderful one as well! My week was tough in many ways, but also had wonderful bits - the best was that my sons and their families, my sister and neice all went on a trip to an animal safari and petting zoo (despite the heat) and we had a ton of fun! I was able to claim some recharge time during the trip by taking a break from walking around. Not too long but long enough that I was able to keep going! I was still tired at the end but not as badly as It's been in the past. So that was great. 😊

[@WoodshedTheory]

glad to hear it was a mostly good week - sounds like fun

[@terrigoulding559]

Congrats on your podcast Michael!🎉

[@mjc2000au]

I would love to know your thoughts on it :D

[@TheCassierra908]

I am looking forward to your next podcast video. Sounds like it will be great! This week here. A lot of catching up to do after vacation. And trying to get all my summer projects done before then school year. All while trying to schedule downtime. 😊

[@irisl7817]

This week I will be savoring my last few days of freedom until the beginning of the school year. I'm not ready. But I'm just going to try to take things as they come. I was just getting used to my summer routine that I had created, now it's time to try to re-start my work routine, which I'm not sure if I remember. Transitioning is so hard.

[@WoodshedTheory]

sorry i get that the transition is really hard

[@irisl7817]

@WoodshedTheory yeah it makes me feel a little less adult but I'm trying not to get too down on myself. And whatever I don't remember, maybe my routine needed to be improved anyway.

[@kellyschroeder7437]

Morning ☕️

[@WoodshedTheory]

morning kelly!

[@BlueRoseHelen252]

Good morning Claire. 😊. I am looking forward to listening to the podcast when it's posted. The material you bought makes a lovely backdrop, and you get a bonus dress out of it 😆. Not much planned for this week It's the first full week of our 3 kids being off for the summer hols so we are going out tomorrow to the Mercedes Benz Museum because they have a quiet hour specially for Autistic people, but it's an early start for us to get there. I dare say it will be a few days before we do anything else after doing that, recovery time will be needed

[@WoodshedTheory]

Good morning! have fun at the museum

[@hankiepankie5833]

I am spending the week in Canada with my bestie!!

[@LunarGlowMedia]

The blurry background is called Bokeh. It comes from the Japanese word boke, which means blurry. When something bright in the scene is out of focus it will show up clearly as bright spots in the shape of balls, stars or cats eyes etc. The entire out of focus portion is technically bokeh, but it's most often referencing the highlights since they pop. Different lenses will have different bokeh. I have one from the 60's that produces a swirly effect under the right conditions. Maybe I'll submit it for Autism Show and tell. :)

[@WoodshedTheory]

oh that would be a good submission!

[@jonathon5075]

Good morning Claire! This coming weekend I'm attending GenCon, which is the largest board game/tabletop RPG convention in the US. It's my first time going, so I'm very pumped!

[@WoodshedTheory]

that sounds like a lot of fun

[@AaronGrosch29]

Oh man. Based on the title and thumbnail I am going to glean as much as I can from this porch coffee. You mean being less hard on yourself is an option?! 😅

[@WoodshedTheory]

it really is!

[@hollieverafter]

Ah, the joys of uneven productivity (re: your podcast scheduling 'issue'). Right there with ya! This week marks our turn toward back-to-school. I'm looking forward to it because I grossly misjudged summer this year. There was very little 'chill', unfortunately. I had all these extra projects I wanted to do... 🤦🏻‍♀. "fall' for us here in Orlando begins as soon as the kids go back and I'm totally here for it. I'm a Halloween girl and practically live for Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. I can safely say it's one of my most special of special interests. Oh! Perhaps a video is in order! Have a great week, Claire!

[@WoodshedTheory]

i love halloween things as a special interest! spooky!

[@marisa5359]

Good morning, Claire! Sounds like you had a pretty productive week to me. I enjoy the podcasts so looking forward to giving that a listen. I do that with labels and such semi-regularly. Being more literary, I don't math well. I hate it when I wind up with less, but a bit of a surplus can be all right when a good idea springs to mind with it. Very much look forward to seeing the super sparkly flapper dress. As to my week. Trying for less emotional, more practical, though not always a raving success. lol Just two weeks remain till my only girl is off to college. We are working through the final prepping. Also continuing to tinker on homeschool curriculum. 9 weeks in. Enough for the start we are looking at next month but still a ways to go...Well, back to work. Blessings on your week, friend. ❤

[@WoodshedTheory]

off to college is an exciting time

[@lindaT82]

Not the old watered down wine trick!! Just joking. Thanks for another great porch coffee!! Looking forward to checking out Michael's podcast, and Karen on Woodshed Theory. Winter with occasional spectacular thunder storms continues here, terror for the cats. Hope everyone has an awesome week! ✨

[@WoodshedTheory]

yes the ol' trick got me lol. half the calories cause it's half water lol lol lol

[@lindaT82]

@@WoodshedTheory even fewer calories because it's undrinkable...they also did a beer like that here

[@sidewinderspiritweaver9405]

100% feel the same on the wanting and even really feeling as a need to make the perfect decision or at least try to do so much searching and researching (both meanings in this case lol) so you might not feel like you didn't do enough research and such. I'm also trying to get faster about it and such.

[@WoodshedTheory]

yeah i totally get it, i think i miss out on a lot because i wait so long

[@Pjolter365]

Last week was good. I came out for a burnout, and was feeling weary regulated. it would be awesome to see another episode with you and Ty just hanging out and goof around as you two did last time :)

[@WoodshedTheory]

Taylor? That would be fun

[@Pjolter365]

@@WoodshedTheory Yes Taylor :)

[@kahodel]

Merci bokeh! Looking forward to the next podcast episode. And I would agree that the best place to wear the dress made from the leftover fabric would have to be in front of the backdrop.

[@WoodshedTheory]

happy monday!

[@patryn36]

I am more 'strict' with myself than i am with others, it needs to be that way since i know my limits far better than i know the limits of others. It has to be that way since it is not like i have many, or any in some cases, people around me normally and if i do not hold myself to any sort of standards then there will not be any from anyone else. Couple that with what i understand and the level to which i understand them, i have to be harder on myself because of the saying of walking the walk instead of just talking the talk, i do not talk normally so i have to do the walking part by default.

[@simoneholenstein6977]

I do agree with the whole walk the walk thing but I decided that I will not hold myself to higher standards than I hold other people to anymore. basically, if everyone else deserves some slack, so do I! especially since I noticed that most people aren‘t as hard on themselves as I am on myself 😊 for me, this manifests in fae better mental health, less overwhelm, better physical health, higher productivity, less days I can‘t do anything 😊 I‘m not saying that you‘re wrong, I don‘t know your situation, but for me, being kind and understanding to myself as I am to others just works better 😊 have a great week!

[@patryn36]

@@simoneholenstein6977 it is not that i am not kind and i always strive to understand before i do something or anything, but the fact the nature of how i function coupled with the understanding i have amassed causes me to take paths many shy away from. I understand why the saying ignorance is bliss is a thing but i would never trade my understanding for ignorance. I always attempt to share my understanding and that costs me more times than it has helped. Bottom line is it is an isolating thing of itself before you factor in the nature of autism at all.

[@WoodshedTheory]

thank you for sharing your experience with us - i think many autistic people hold themselves to a strict standard that others do not hold them to

[@angimauri8092]

yeah diagnosis made it easier to get over that final obstacle of being patient for myself- and even more so- standing up for myself and vetting the people I befriend. since I deserve so much better than my past of people pleasing and cowtowing to only end up burning myself out masking to remain in a group of people that did not fit me. people who find it endearing if I stumble in speech or cognizants or comprehension, and don't even bat an eye are my buddies. people who know my need through experience as a neurodivergent or attentiveness are so much more- easy things are so much easier and more comfortable. and i can save my processing battery for my work and executive functions.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i find this comment very comforting and helpful. thanks for sharing your experience and good for you!

[@Kiersin]

I have had a nice, mostly calm week, but at the end of this week, there are plans to head home from vacation.

[@WoodshedTheory]

have a safe trip home

[@Beafree1975]

I'm currently trying to prep the exterior of our house (one story) to paint. Its been a long process because the house has that cheap siding that's was there before we bought the house. Anyways, a huge portion of it blew off when we had 90 mph gusts this spring. A lot of holes to patch and pealing paint because the siding was not friendly to this poor house. I do whatever I can when it's not as hot as hell (I hate summer with a passion). My husband has adhd so I have to "patiently" wait till he is motivated to remove the siding on the walls. Other than that, I take a morning walk as soon as I wake up (6am) when it's cool outside. I recently got into watercoloring, I bought all the supplies I need, I will be getting started on that today.

[@WoodshedTheory]

that sounds like a HUGE project

[@magnasgaming1061]

Scheduling people sounds as "fun" as making a bunch of phone calls. I certainly wouldn't blame you for taking time off between podcasts to recover from the stress of that work.

[@WoodshedTheory]

it isn't really that bad because it isn't on the phone, just a lot of moving pieces

[@Infinitesimal-ho7it]

Live and learn. That's how I move on from those kinds of mistakes.

[@Imperfect_Eric]

The voice over corrections were great 😂

[@pikmin4743]

have a great day and week, Claire!

[@WoodshedTheory]

Same to you

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

Late to the party today, but prepared with decaffeinated cafe´con leche de soja (it´s 6 p.m. here) and some pan tostado con mermelada de fresa☕🍓 Ahhh, cozy and exited to see You again😚

[@WoodshedTheory]

good morning

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

@@WoodshedTheory it midnight here, Claire, but I guess 4 minutes into tuesday could be very early morning😂

[@Dayglodaydreams]

I wish I could be as happy as you.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i'm not perfect, but i hope you all happiness as well.

[@AmandaSeacrist]

Heya Claire! You are doing great! I'm still trying to relax from getting done with my semester last week. On a positive note, I have more time in my hands. More R&R (rest and relaxation) this week. Proud of you!

[@WoodshedTheory]

yes get some r&r

[@lizzieb7373]

Hey Claire! First I have to say you look so healthy and lovely 😊 As usual I am late to porch coffee. I like the Autism Show and Tell segment. It’s fun to hear what others are into.

[@j-ivey]

Good morning! I really liked your drinking PSA 😂

[@WoodshedTheory]

thanks :)

[@withheldformyprotection5518]

Suggestion for the APT podcast - How about Neil from “Autistic not alien”? He has a fantastic sense of humor and has produced some very clever videos.

[@michaelpilgrim8131]

If it wasn't normal, typical, or common for others to misunderstand the wine, the product would not exist. You're not alone, Claire.

[@WoodshedTheory]

thanks for the reassurance

[@feralnonbinaryautistic]

Afternoon! I wasted loads of time on a bus trip to the dental hygienist, who called off sick. Not a total loss ,though. I took the opportunity to go round some charity shops I don't visit very often and I scored some cotton shirts that will do very nicely for patchwork. Lots of seam ripping ahead.

[@WoodshedTheory]

oh sucks that they canceled but nothing much nicer than getting to charity shops that you don't get to often and finding some good stuff.

[@PossumMedic]

too frustrated with life for autism content right now 😔 But still throwing the video on in the background and leaving a comment for the algo gods! 😝 Happy *Monday* everyone! 🍻

[@WoodshedTheory]

hi - i totally get it, please never feel any pressure

[@ParticleLarry]

Sew Lilah , she only has 9 videos and only maybe has three about autism but the one about saying she is autistic got me. Plus she also sews and makes outfits

[@WoodshedTheory]

thanks for the suggestion

[@CallMeAL1]

I struggled with friends for my whole life. Now I have mostly just other neurospiced friends who I’d do anything for and who don’t care when we both forget the other exists for 6 months because we hyperfixation on a new person or activity and just forgot to reach out it 😅 being Audhd with object (people) permanence issues and a constant rotation of craft hyperfixations that consume my free time, these compassionate friends are the bestest. Plus they accept my hand made gifts in stride. 😅 my ND love language is 100% pebbling.

[@WoodshedTheory]

i love giving hand made gifts too

[@Autisticheather]

Your hair looks really pretty.

[@WoodshedTheory]

oh thank you

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

And then got totally lost in a sudden sidequest-idea after typing in the first comment (thanks, ADHD😝). I tried spontaneously to put a picture in my profile, had to be instantly (It´s our argentinian Mafalda Quino created, love her and named my cat after her) and saw then I am also able to change those stupid numbers that suddenly occurred a while ago 🤣🤣🤣 I am quite happy about this☺I got it quickly (excluded to work on the downloaded picture), was not so difficult as I thaught. Nice! Okay, and NOW I can finally watch the video. And drink my cold coffee😂 Let´s go!

[@WoodshedTheory]

I totally understand the side quest thing too

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

@@WoodshedTheory I know, that's why I love sharing things like that with "my people"... Nobody else would understand, for us it's a thing😊

[@ghill8587]

I’ve tried Fitvine wine before. I remember it as being pretty good, but it has been a while. I don’t think it’s mixed with water, but now I’m questioning it. 😂. Good to see you!

[@WoodshedTheory]

It wasn't that brand so i'm not sure lol

[@mjc2000au]

Thank you so so much!!!! Love to do a Collaboration, or an interview on your channel if you are interested :D

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks for submitting! Hopefully we can make something work.

[@mjc2000au]

@@WoodshedTheory Can't wait!

[@Lady_Tism]

You should talk to Paune! (Paune's Journey) I love her videos. Also, love the video. :)

[@WoodshedTheory]

i can add them to the list

[@stephenie44]

THEY CUT THE WINE WITH SPARKLING WATER 🫢

[@WoodshedTheory]

i could have done that on my own lol

[@resourceress7]

Oh boy I will be happy to compile a list of people you could have on the podcast. I have so many favorites! But also I know there are tons more that the algorithm hasn't shown me, and I'm excited to see other people's suggestions and the future episodes. The algorithm tends to have a diversity problem, and I hope to discover even more folks to follow. Thanks for your podcast and the rest of your channel. :) P.S. It's gonna be a kinda long list. Do you want it here as a comment, or email, or something else? (Sorry I don't have Facebook, and that's the link I see in your KZbin bio.)

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi Please feel free to email me a list!

[@resourceress7]

@@WoodshedTheory Gladly. What's your email address?

[@resourceress7]

Hey Claire. What's the best way to send you that longer message?

[@katzenbekloppt_mf]

Ha😮. I was so sure You already DID talk with Karen on Your podcast. But no, I saw her on Orions channel 🙈 Ups. Then I am exited to listen to You both talking, in my imagination that vibes. If You are interested to talk to a german language creator who actually is figuering out to be maybe also autistic (additional to be late diagnosed ADHD), has a channel I found over Yo Samdy Sam featuring her (always will kiss her feet also for that) and now does YT, created a wonderful cozy online group and does specialized job/carrer focused counceling for neurodiverse people talk to @SimoneEppler from Swiss. After coming back from Sams Glamping-Neurodiverse-Retreat in Holland she will bring back a lot of interesting impressions on top of her even exiting story so far. Oh and I think her english is much better then mine. Also personally I find it interesting to hear more from NDs with other backstories having an additional impact on finding out late beeing autistic, beeing trans, POC, etc. But as I don´t know them personally I don´t want to coincidently pick one not knowing/beeing able imagining if they would like to do.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Thanks I can look into it :)

[@9crutnacker985]

How about Paige Layle or Chloe Hayden? you're not meant to notice what they do with food & drink (that boosts their profits). it's called marketing. no shame in getting stung they spend a huge amount researching how to fool their customers. I now have a provisional date for my next surgery at the beginning of Sept. Had my pre-op assessment today following my 2nd counselling session. I have to say that I feel the therapist is an exceptionally good fit for this situation. The 'model' she was taught works really well with my own experience & how I view how my head works. She was clearly very interested in my observations of my internal experience as well as this being a big personal interest in itself. Super validating of my own efforts to date. She's also ND so communication isn't a big problem either. I'm very hopeful that this next hospital visit won't be trauma hell the last one was. She's even suggested that this could be a opportunity to do some healing of that experience. Fingers crossed. (& this is looking like referring myself for counselling was a very good idea (It's not possible to be referred any other way. don't know why). I bought 3 more 12" Daleks (+ a K9) at the weekend ... and 2 more 8" ones today. I'm going to have to start stacking Daleks on top of other Daleks, I've no room left.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Those are two great names! Thanks for keeping us posted on your heath. Also keeping us posted on the dalek collection!

[@Rabaheo]

Fun facts about alcohol and calories! In nutrition there's this understanding that carbs and protein provide 4 calories per gram and fats provide 9 calories per gram. Well one gram of pure alcohol contains around 7 calories. So you can extrapolate that lower calorie might also indicate lower alcohol and it might be worth a label look to find out! Light beer? Lower calorie because lower ABV%.

[@WoodshedTheory]

interesting!

[@theresapizza]

I would love to see Lyric Rivera on Autistic people talking. They are Neurodivergent Rebel and recently published a book.

[@WoodshedTheory]

they would be a great guest!

[@withheldformyprotection5518]

The company I work for has invited Lyric to talk about neurodivergence and how to better understand and accommodate ND individuals. Looking forward to hearing what they have to say.

[@WoohooliganComedy]

💖

[@philipswann9753]

Yay

[@WoodshedTheory]

yay!

[@MrAtheistQueen]

Who sells watered down wine? LOL! Wow!

[@nifferscritters]

I don’t think it would ever occur to me to even look at the ingredients of wine… So it seems like an honest mistake if you ask me 😸

[@WoodshedTheory]

I think I didn't look because usually there isn't an ingredient list or a chart on the side with nutritional info cause it's just wine.

[@saffsholistichealth]

Doing my best to accept the fact that I can't work a full-time job I just can't I don't mind hours being kind of split up in the work schedule but a full-time job is just not suitable for me at all I easily get tired and need alone time otherwise

[@PlanckRelic]

beaucoup bokeh I'm still saying it at the end of the video, lol

[@ZSchrink]

The fuzzy background you referring to is called 'bokeh'! Pronounced like bouquet, though I've heard 'bow-kuh'.

[@ZSchrink]

Ohp, just got to editor Claire hahahaha Never mind 😁

[@WoodshedTheory]

editor claire out there educating herself

[@johnbillings5260]

I hope I can be 200. 🙂

[@WoodshedTheory]

that would be cool

[@johnbillings5260]

@@WoodshedTheory Did I make it? 😃

[@EricAllenGriff]

Boka

[@WoodshedTheory]

yes!

[@lizzieb7373]

Bokeh?

[@WoodshedTheory]

that is the term!

[@conniewagner4234]

Hi Clare! Is it expensive to get an Autism diagnosis as an adult? I’ve heard that it’s free if you’re a school-aged child, but not free if you’re grown. You’re fun. Take care. 😊🫶🏻

[@whitneymason406]

@conniewagner4234 my son and I didn't have to pay. I think it depends on your insurance and who you see. We both have Medicaid in the US.

[@faeriesmak]

I looked into it and it is a few thousand as an adult and it depends on how and where you get one done for school aged kids.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Hi Connie, as you can see from the other responses, it really depends on many factors. It can be very expensive, and can take time. But some people can have it covered under insurance.

[@eternalloveliness]

I would love you to interview Charlotte Elizabeth@charlotteelizabeth3000 😂❤