Are Finnish People Rude? 🇫🇮

I ask Varpu, a Finnish creator living around Helsinki about how the gender equality has impacted life in Finland. Are Finnish men rude in not opening the door or offering to help with heavy luggage? What is "sisu" and what does it show about the Finnish mentality?

[@DatingBeyondBorders]

Full video here (Part 1 of 2): rb.gy/cs82yp

[@esn2130]

I am a woman and I was taugh to always open the door for the person behind you...either man o woman or cat...Has nothing to do with gender, its basic manners to my understanding.

[@daleweiss9507]

In Canada, you can be following a Hell's Angel into a store and he will hold the door for you.

[@roberth4395]

Do not try to change any foreign culture. That is your culture and what Varpu is saying is her culture. It should stay as it is.

[@anneshirley9560]

@@roberth4395how is her comment on KZbin going to change centuries of finish culture? 🤔 also, just because something is culturally acceptable , doesn't mean it's okay. 🤷‍♀️

[@roberth4395]

@@anneshirley9560 Finnland is in the top 1-3 countries in the world. Unless you come from Norway, Sweden or Finland your culture is inferior, so your advice can only hurt.

[@adriamillasluque]

I think learning aspects from another culture to adapt it to yours is something that has happened for millennia. When a culture has a deficit of warmth in terms of caring about unknown people through small gestures of daily kindness, I’d say best thing you can do is adapt, learn and change. Keeping individualistic manners (no matter how resilient you want to show you are) for the sake of tradition and culture makes zero sense at a level of emotional health. Being kind and showing it through gestures such as holding a door open shouldn’t be tied to a culture or a gender. If a culture doesn’t have this, they are missing on good stuff. We globalize and hybridize products, why not cultures and customs?

[@anpartheniou7585]

Filipinos can’t survive in Finland😄. It’s imbedded in our culture to help and be needed. Living alone specially if you are an elderly is not normal for us.

[@user-rg8jk4mj7i]

So nice...🎉

[@neonennui]

Thank god it is like that! Kindness, wanting to help others, taking responsibility are great values. And let's not forget that the elders are the ones who raised our generations, so they deserve to be cared for.

[@xaquison]

💯

[@xtelESC92]

We believe in the saying that "No man is an island."

[@choosyduchess25]

True but as a Filipino, it's best to strike a balance between helping neighbors and family and tolerating laziness, ungratefulness, and incompetentce in our society. Yes, we are known for being kind, friendly, and sweet but so many people also use that to manipulate and take advantage of others.

[@cqtaylor]

Just because someone doesn't ask for help, doesn't mean they don't need it. Even in Finland.

[@cupidok2768]

Plz.give me a fin bf Thx

[@user-yp4tp8gg4q]

Verbalise your needs - that's it

[@JmKrokY]

​@@user-yp4tp8gg4q🤔

[@arcabuz]

Yes, you need to be explicit and literal in Finland since they have not developed much of a social intelligence.

[@magicofshootingstar5825]

@cqtaylor That might be true but in Finland if you offer help to the stranger it might be taken as "You don't believe I can handle this situation? I will so you that I'm stronger than you believe!" without so many words said aloud 😃

[@Alexandros.Mograine]

Men might not open the door for you, but people usually hold the door open if someone is coming after them.

[@karolinawww6834]

Women nowadays don't care about it that much, because they're way ahead of men 😂

[@Alexandros.Mograine]

@@karolinawww6834 what does that even mean. you come off as a supremacist.

[@bigboss.800]

It common every were, in Delhi metro 🚇 we give seats to women and to old age people.

[@kimiko495]

That’s true. I lived in Finland for many years and people ALWAYS hold doors for those behind them. I think Finns are just not chatty and don’t have great social skills by global standards (haha). But they are very polite and nice and definitely offer help when someone looks like they may need it.

[@oldmedstudent1750]

​@@karolinawww6834just admit you hate men

[@jounisuninen]

There was some rubbish in this video. Most Finnish men would help a woman with a baby. Definitely.

[@villapulla]

True. When I have been with a stroller in Helsinki pretty much everyone opens doors for us and wants to help if they can.

[@pullaparoni4874]

I didn't recognize Finns described here at first and then I thought that she must be describing southerners because we do help each other here up north - even strangers and especially pregnant ladies and mothers. Then I read villapullas comment and now I don't have any clue what she is talking about .

[@angelat7957]

You can be self-sufficient, resourceful, rssilient, and still be helpful and kind to people, including strangers. It's weird how this simple thought has never occurred to a whole society. Cheers from Italy 🇮🇹😂😂😂

[@KiryubelleKazuma]

well resilient here is code word for "get out ot of your misery alone and if you are struggling dont cry like a baby, if you seriously mental broken then you have health insurance, consult a therapist and everything will be fine within 1 week". Its the same in Germany.

[@saskiavisser1279]

You have a point.

[@juholaitakari1305]

Yeah i hate it when people like her over simplify things. As a man i do help, offer help and get helped sometimes. Also more often than not people appreciate the general politeness.

[@roberth4395]

You do not get it at all. Finnish people are INDEPENDENT. If you ask a fin to help, they will help you, but you have to ask for it as they believe you are capable of managing in your own.

[@MissMoontree]

Sometimes it is seen as insulting to offer help, like they can't do it on their own. It is about agency. Always ask before helping!

[@MSA-yd2mz]

People in the comment section, don't judge a whole nation by listening some Helsinkian about her own surroundings...

[@krissysherrell6625]

I visited Finland and the people are all nice. I have a special needs son and all were warm to him and kind to him. Also, many children shared things with him which he didn’t ask for such as sleds (a lot). Maybe if you don’t come off needy they are kind because now they don’t feel used??? So the kindness was more genuine since I didn’t ask or demanded anything.

[@thunderkimchi]

I am hoping you had a positive experience overall and I am glad you had some nice experiences with the kids ❤

[@turpasauna]

Thank you. This is exactly it; we operate sorta "under the radar", not making a fuss about doing certain gestures but including the important ones in our daily life.

[@mikkos8636]

It's interesting that you say that they helped you because you weren't needy, not begging like a bum. In here bums are often treated with inhumane "you don't exist so I just walk past you without a word" treatment. Even though I won't give bums any cigarette or beer money unless they manage to trick me somehow, I still talk to them because they too are people. A lot of us finns would do well to take to heart the old saying: "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." It means, people like Gandhi slept with too young ladies and touched them to satisfy their desires. People like me have done things we would not do again really, but we still work for a better way to give more happiness to others. Bums can be heroes in life too.

[@thecollector5243]

I don't expect a man to open the door for me because I have two healthy hands. However, if I carry something heavy, I expect anyone to open the door for me or help with the door. I will always do the same.

[@loganhanson4681]

My friend is Swedish and he says that’s why there’s a lot of single Swedes 😊

[@chefrabbaigoldenbergsteins5018]

I don't get kt

[@carpenterAF-dz2zq]

He puts a smiley face at the end😂😂😂

[@Henry-sd7vd]

It’s true. All those lonely women and men. Equality is a scam.

[@arspoetica5479]

Too many feminists:(

[@chefrabbaigoldenbergsteins5018]

They not worth it its like going night club and try find one as ur future wife and expect she will not stab u from behind when u become weak Lol

[@neonennui]

This sounds sad to me. But I'm Italian, so my culture is diametrally opposite than theirs. But I love to help others and I'm grateful for a kind gesture from a stranger person who sees I'm in need of something.

[@blaackberry]

Italy has the nicest people Ive met abroad. If I move from the US Ill live in Italy

[@LittleLulubee]

I’m American, and I feel the same

[@neonennui]

@@blaackberry That's so kind of you, thank you!

[@zarifam1635]

That's interesting. I dated an Italian guy for a while. Even though I am Uzbek born and raised in Uzbekistan, I never felt much of cultural differences between us.

[@Octobris]

Genuine question: why do Italians get so hellbent over food?

[@qwertti]

This is not particularly Finnish culture, but rather Helsinki city culture. In other parts of Finland they do use polite words, open doors to strangers etc. daily polite things. It's just that Helsinki is quite rude place

[@lucasgundi]

I’ll open or hold a door for any stranger if the situation facilitates it

[@paolovalentini8017]

Happyness is real only when shared

[@karolinawww6834]

Not true. That only means you don't know how to be alone. Also, that's not how you spell happiness

[@justamustachewithoutaguy9370]

@@karolinawww6834not disagreeing but being alone without living friends, family, pets, or community might just be the fastest ticket to suicide. You don’t experience real loneliness until you actually have nowhere left to go. Knowing how to be comfortable alone is important, but we’re pack animals and we’re meant to be with others we care about

[@TheTekknician]

Pretty much the same for the Dutch. (I am Dutch)

[@Cyhcg5uhgb]

Yeah, and it is sad. I know people who don't want to buy their friends birthday presents, because they see it as an inconvenience. Dutch kids also really don't help their parents, even if the kid is 27 and still living with their parents. That is insane to me

[@justamustachewithoutaguy9370]

Is that where the phrase “going Dutch” comes from

[@NoctLightCloud]

​@@Cyhcg5uhgbthat's kinda extreme. sounds awful to me.

[@teoleno4019]

Same here in Latvia. People don't like when strangers bother them or make small talk.

[@TLW369]

I’m the same way. :)

[@herrprofessor]

Some people think this kind of behaviour is individualism at its best, a very common feature in Nordic countries, I guess Finnish people are not so fond of sugarcoating or fake politeness or pleasantries as a way of saving face because it's a waste of time and energy, but that's just my perception.

[@turpasauna]

To Finns, managing by yourself is an important life skill. There is no hidden agenda there, nor is it about coldness of character. Even during ancient times, many Finns did not live in communities. We would keep a distance when building, and only live with our own immediate family. It's our way and that's simply it.

[@herrprofessor]

@@turpasauna And what about greeting your neighbours or having small talk? They're supposed to be social skills and humans are social beings and not robots.

[@turpasauna]

@@herrprofessor Greeting is a social skill, small talk did not really exist in Finland traditionally. We are like the Japanese, comfortable in silence. If you want to chat up a Finn, weather is always a safe topic.

[@herrprofessor]

@@turpasauna Sisu also plays a prominent role in this kind of behaviour, it's better to be discrete, not to be flamboyant and don't stand out like Floyd Mayweather Jr when he flaunts lots of money while posing with lots of banknotes in front of him.

[@Ayo-Joyce]

Coming from South America, something I really appreciate from Slovenian culture is how much people try to help, specially if they see you with a small child. There are situations where one person can't handle everything and you see a big difference when societies are setting in collective values, instead of individuals. Even if you are strong and self sufficient, a bit of kindness is always a great relief.

[@NoctLightCloud]

you moved to Slovenia from South America? wow that is so rare! I hope you like it. :)

[@elenivantongeren7580]

They seem to behave as cold as their weather.............

[@roberth4395]

You would be surprised how refreshing it is. Finnish people are true while most other nations are fake. If you prefer to live in pretend land, good for you.

[@anneshirley9560]

🤣🤣

[@violets-for-roses]

The warmest thing about Finns is the amount of coffee they drink.

[@sledgehog1]

@@violets-for-roses Or their saunas.

[@TrashcanTroubadour]

Did you see the video about Dutch people though? Finns radiate warmth compared to them.

[@T3meee]

Being direct isn't the same as being rude, it's just a normal way of communicating. If you are constantly annoyed by someone presenting things in a normal (calm), direct way, then the problem is in fact you.

[@NandoDisco]

Ok but what does being direct have to do with what she said?

[@bobcharlie2337]

It's always good to be self-sufficient. But I like to use my self sufficientness to help others out to. We can be more efficient together.

[@Shan21.]

So asking for help is a weakness after all? I knew those therapist were lying to me

[@karinland8533]

Thats not at all what she said, is it?

[@redleeks6253]

​@@karinland8533She said that people are self-sufficient and dont need help. I don't know how did to correlate both things. You can be self sufficient and still need or request help.

[@specialnanobot]

no she said that offering help can be seen as an insult.

[@NoctLightCloud]

​@@specialnanobot And that's somehow supposed to be any better?

[@specialnanobot]

@@NoctLightCloud yeah it actually is, since asking for help is fine? Like I understand this is mostly trolls responding on this channel since most people aren't this culturally illiterate and if I get it -most people get it. judging an entire people from a few seconds of interview is generally not something people do, and it says more about those who do than the person appearing in a highly edited video. It's gonna be really interesting finding out what the reasons behind the making mountains out of molehills are tho, cheers!

[@Superbus753]

Well that sounds interesting. Im in Finnland every summer as my grandmother was from Finnland. I have experienced that when you ask someone they go out of their way to help you and at our summer house (kesämökki) when a neighbor sees or hears something that he believes you could need help they are immediately coming over and ask you if you need help. As for when a generator sounds strange or a boatmotor doesn’t start and stutters the neighbors suddenly appear next to you and offer their help.

[@alexisarrizon6083]

Mediocre manners are the hallmark of a rancid society. I'm from Spain and I wouldn't be caught dead being disrespectful to anyone with children who needed help. My children were taught to always be helpful to those who are in need.

[@santostv.]

You made vini jr cry

[@jumalankeskisormi]

I'm a Finn who has lived in Spain for years, and to me it is your culture which seems very backwards. A weird combination of dishonest socialism and belief that what your ancestors did hundreds of years ago somehow carry on to your weak society

[@roberth4395]

I know finnish people and spanish people and I find spanish people bery rude and the women often bully others. Finnish people on the other hand are kind and respectful. If you need fake kind words spoken to feel good, you wont enjoy the presencenof a finn.

[@kisikisikisi]

A "rancid society"? You're completely misunderstanding the Finnish culture, and being very rude about it. Finns give you space _because_ they are polite. They're quiet _because_ they are polite. Just because your cultural norms are different, doesn't mean they're good or ours are bad.

[@specialnanobot]

I've been to both finland and spain and experienced culture-shock in neither, our countries are more the same than they are different, people are more the same than different and it's kinda psychotic assuming a bunch of things based on you misunderstanding what a person is saying, should I judge every person from spain based on this ignorant comment? Did she say "we just loooove disrespecting people with children in finland hell yeah!" no. I assume everyone who thumbs up'd your comment also come from really -insert ignorant observation here- cultures and just have to -insert narcissism here- ?

[@Iddhi5]

Well, I don’t consider myself an unusual Finnish man. I always make sure to hold the door open for the person behind me, whether it’s a mother with a baby, a woman or man of any age/ethnicity/style...

[@noll7779]

I hope people don’t start thinking that we don’t want help. It’s more like if the person doesn’t need help, I don’t have help in gentlemen way but if someone is struggling we do ask if they need help or we need help. And we do keep the door open for the next person as long it doesn’t take them awkwardly long time to came.

[@specialnanobot]

There are entire youtube channels where people have moved to finland because they fell in love with finnish society etc Sadly when some people see a glimpse of another culture they interpret it in the worst way possible and don't listen to the person speaking. (the person speaking in this video is very humble and quite a few people seem to overlook that)

[@JaySports-kx7yb]

Once offered my seat on a train to a pregnant European woman I swear she looked at me like I was nuts,😂😂😂

[@4seasons546]

That’s funny I did the same and then afterwards even though it seemed obvious she was pregnant for five or six months at least I wondered if maybe she was just had a fat tummy!?! I was so embarrassed that maybe I mistook fat for pregnant and the woman maybe might be insulted & with surrounding people wondering why I offered this woman my seat? - as I didn’t want to insult the pregnant or fat lady that I got off the bus stop or two early. I still think she was pregnant though but the reaction of confusion with people around me is the only thing that made me wonder- this was in France !

[@bigboss.800]

It's pretty common in india. I see every day some one is given his seat to women ( Delhi metro)

[@NoctLightCloud]

​@@bigboss.800there aren't that many women getting pregnant in Europe as in India, though

[@lartist-jk8fp]

We are not not to be on our own. This is sad.

[@specialnanobot]

no, and she didn't say that. She said people rely on themselves which is actually a good thing, idk why people add so much of their own ignorance into it, ofc finnish people hang out and are friendly to people, they're human just like all other humans.

[@r.westerling4280]

Then why do you add so much of your own ignorance into it?

[@purplepigment4283]

Thr complete opposite of southern Europeans

[@TLW369]

As an American woman, I love everything about her energy and her dialogue. Be self-sufficient and stop waiting for dudes to do sh!t for you. ♥️👏

[@Kelly-pp1et]

As an American woman, you will be alone forever

[@TLW369]

@@Kelly-pp1et 😂…you really think that I need you to tell me that? Really? I’ll be JUST fine… believe me! ♥️👸🏻♥️

[@Kelly-pp1et]

@@TLW369 yeah sure 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@LancesArmorStriking]

​@@TLW369 Eventually you will get old and your body will degrade. At that point you've either saved up enough to pay for a nursing home all on your own... or suffer in silence. Enjoy

[@Truth_Hurts528]

not sure how you can claim people are self sufficient in a country with such an extensive welfare system. He may not open the door for you but he contributes to your health care etc.

[@Jamhael1]

Can you choose to not be sick?

[@bigboy6191]

The Japanese and Scandinavians keep looking for excuses not to talk to people😂😅

[@spotlessmind7681]

chivalry, not politeness

[@karolinawww6834]

Opening a door is chivalry? How the mighty have fallen 😂

[@sUi5Udos]

What she said about politeness is true. I fell out with a Finnish friend because l found her direct to the point of rudeness.

[@arcabuz]

I can tell you they are proud of being very independent. I lived in Finland for quite a while. One of my neighbours was a Finnish elderly lady who spent most of her life in Italy but she returned in her later years. One day that we happen to strike a conversation (because she locked herself out) told me that it was a mistake to come to Finland. She was completely alone, despite the company of two dogs. She was just alone all the time. Nobody came to visit her.

[@suevialania]

Scandinavians are Germanics and similar! Wunderbar 🇩🇪🇫🇮🇸🇪🇩🇰🇦🇽🇳🇱

[@teoleno4019]

Not really. Germans love to bother people. They get mad at you if you don't respond to their "hallos" or chitchat, even if the person is a complete stranger to you. Believe me, Germans have very different culture. They are still Western and have that "fake smile politness" going on.

[@NoctLightCloud]

you putting 🇳🇱? Then why not 🇦🇹🇨🇭 too?

[@suevialania]

@@NoctLightCloud i put by ethnic,flags Siwss are NOT ONLY germanic! As well Áustria, can BE germanic like Swabian Voralberg or Bavarian Salzburg and Tirol, and as well slavic, slovenians, slovaks, Czech and hungarian!And i don' t have a Frisian flag!

[@flowermedow]

I lived in Finland for 10 long years... I can say if you ask for help it's also looked down upon and people often do not help others even if you ask. As a foreigner who married a fin, you can expect it to be an issue culturally in your relationship. Especially if you ask for help or for them to do things. Their response will often be why can't you do it yourself... You can also be seen as lazy if you need help or can't do something yourself. Old people are often not cared for by younger ones and put to old people homes instead and never visited either is a norm. This culture in Finland has only been since the second world war. And the doors being not opened is only since feminism was so heavily pushed. I personally think it's a bit of a rude society and it comes across that way to people visiting also. Fins don't like Russians, but I personally find russians are more friendly than fins. Maybe they wanted to blast away anything of the russian culture on their own, including door openings. Maybe they felt that made them too much like Russians.😂

[@DatingBeyondBorders]

Very interesting! Thanks for sharing. Lots of truth to this. In Sweden, for ex. there are so many old people dying alone and staying in their flats for days, that there are services to help with the aftermath. As many as 1 in 10 are buried with no family or friends present. in Japan services for the dead are also very common.. It's definitely very alarming. I have heard the idea of "hiding old people" in the Netherlands. Not hiding exactly but they are made to feel they shouldn't interfere with the younger people. How true it is I am not sure but I heard it from the Dutch. Whereas going to parties in Portugal or Italy or Latin America etc you have friends and family and grandmas and grandpas all eating and dancing away together; being part of the fun. Makes sense there is less depression .

[@da-rude]

@@DatingBeyondBorders community makes you live longer and better. maybe that's something for them to have in mind since everyone gets older.

[@LittleLulubee]

@@DatingBeyondBorders Letting everyone enjoy life together sounds so much better!! 💗

[@rawman909]

Hmmm, what sad society

[@travelsofepicproportions]

​@@rawman909 I've never been there. I'm wondering if such a society is even worth visiting.

[@bjornstjernebjornson9046]

It's not self sufficent. It's repressed and cold. It's why most of the world was horrified about Swedengate in 2022.

[@Jonra1]

It is self-sufficient, just because you don't like it doesn't change the facts, if you want a different kind of culture there's plenty of other cultures to choose from in other countries.

[@alexanderthegreatoz5945]

The best part of Sweden is their neighbours. 😅heard this from another Danish guy video.

[@ImForwardlook]

Well, Swedes are known to be the most selfish people in the world.

[@specialnanobot]

the thing where people ran with "the country in the world with most laws protecting children actually love starving kids"? Yeah. That's what happen when there are very many confidently stupid people on the internet not knowing when they're wrong. it's great as a swede to be told that I have never been offered food as a child or that something so ingrained in our culture don't exist bc people who have never been here have really disturbing fantasies about Here. (also it ended up dragging all of northern europe down with it, so in the end people were horrified about quite a lot of countries for no real reason since they seem to not have the first clue what culture is)

[@lucaspierre9305]

It's not a country of polite and warm people. That's all i can say.

[@vop4813]

Finns are warm but not in a show off way. I have always get help here and if i have helped someone then suddenly +3 more people are willing to help, too. It is like finns are just shy to bother people and mindeing your own buisness is considered polite.

[@teoleno4019]

Yea, you're better off in West with fake smiles and useless chitchat.

[@judyperri9496]

@@teoleno4019triggered are you ???You must feel some truth in what they are saying

[@BusterCherry1]

​@@teoleno4019 Cynical people like you are the problem. Smiles for their own sake are great and can brighten someone's day, and that "useless chitchat" has led to more learning experiences than I can recall. Go have another drink, Erkko.

[@kisikisikisi]

You've completely misunderstood this. Finnish people are quiet and stay out of your way _because_ they are polite. Nothing has as much value as your personal space, and people go out of their way to respect it. Foreigners think we're rude but on the flipside, we think they're rude as well. Neither way is more correct than the other, but saying that Finns aren't polite just tells me you don't know anything about our culture.

[@jodydeleon3965]

It’s so weird how different things are here in TEXAS. I’ve never opened the door for myself, and even if I get there first and wait for a gentleman to come through, he refuses for me to open it (ALWAYS)and asks me to go through first. EVERY every single time. I think it’s important to preserve cultural differences😊I’m glad I’m on this side!

[@Spacemongerr]

That sounds infantilizing to me

[@FourSeasons04]

Some parts of the US are certainly better than others, but for the most part, Americans are very helpful.

[@Henry-sd7vd]

Sounds kinda misogynistic ngl. That goes against feminism. Women don’t need men opening doors for them, like they’re fragile beings. Let them be strong and independent.

[@Spacemongerr]

@@Henry-sd7vd Yea. It's nice whenever someone holds the door open for you when they are in front of you, regardless of gender. But what OP describes is just too much

[@ImForwardlook]

I have never entered my car without opening the door for the woman first.

[@LittleLulubee]

I wonder if that mentality also makes them more likely to be single? Are there a lot of people there who choose to stay single for their entire lives?

[@Nothingbutdust92]

Not many choose to, but people are too self reliant or too shy...

[@Jonra1]

You can be self sufficient and in a relationship, but it just means you don't want a partner that doesn't contribute. Families are generally expected to have two incomes, both bring in the money and share the financial burdens, rather than it solely being on men.

[@Nothingbutdust92]

@@Jonra1 It's sad.

[@marialindell9874]

​​@@Nothingbutdust92 Nothing sad about that. It shows that we are all in this together and we support each other in everything instead of harping one member of the family to do everything. We can all emphasise with our struggles and know how much gains mean, so we can celebrate each other without faking our feelings. Graduation is an important milestone. When a younger relative or friend graduates, we all remember how it felt to graduate ourselves. The feeling of accomplishment, joy and happiness along with the exitement for the future. We get together because we feel that sense of happiness for the gradtuated person and we celebrate their happiness too. I'd much rather have a partner that knows how awfull rude customers make you feel and how stafisfied you can be when you finish a project and it turns out well than one that doesn't have that understanding. I don't want a partner that belittles my discontent of soiled diapers at every turn since they never touch diapers. I want a partner that has the diaper in their hand before I ask them to, ready to make a soiled diaper burrito in mere seconds to be tossed into the bin, cause we both feel discruntled by the smell of soiled diapers. When you have shared life experiences, you can comfort and support your partner better. We all carry our needles into the anthill that is our shared lives. Being forced or assumed to be a sole provider or having sole responsibility of anything feels lonely, depressing stressfull and awfull in more ways than I can list here. "Samaistuminen", the capability to do that and how it feels is an incredibly important thing in human relationships.

[@marialindell9874]

​​@@Nothingbutdust92Nothing sad about that. It shows that we are all in this together and we support each other in everything instead of harping one member of the family to do everything. We can all emphasise with our struggles and know how much gains mean, so we can celebrate each other without faking our feelings. Graduation is an important milestone. When a younger relative or friend graduates, we all remember how it felt to graduate ourselves. The feeling of accomplishment, joy and happiness along with the exitement for the future. We get together because we feel that sense of happiness for the gradtuated person and we celebrate their happiness too. I'd much rather have a partner that knows how awfull rude customers make you feel and how stafisfied you can be when you finish a project and it turns out well than one that doesn't have that understanding. I don't want a partner that belittles my discontent of soiled diapers at every turn since they never touch diapers. I want a partner that has the diaper in their hand before I ask them to, ready to make a soiled diaper burrito in mere seconds to be tossed into the bin, cause we both feel discruntled by the smell of soiled diapers. When you have shared life experiences, you can comfort and support your partner better. We all carry our needles into the anthill that is our shared lives. Being forced or assumed to be a sole provider or having sole responsibility of anything feels lonely, depressing stressfull and awfull in more ways than I can list here. "Samaistuminen", the capability to do that and how it feels is an incredibly important thing in human relationships.

[@kanak4198]

I'm a woman but ive never cared about chivalry i dont mind it but i just think its weird cause opening a door does not require any effort but gives the illusion that a man is taking efforts for you.. everything ive heard about finland is awesome. People are self sufficient and mind their own business mostly. I love how direct they are.

[@redleeks6253]

I live in Portugal and holding the door for someone isn't a man or woman's job or chivalry but normal social conduct. If I'm walking into a building and notice someone is behind me I'll hold the door and the person who comes behind me will likely hold the door for whoever comes behind, doesn't matter gender or age, I'll even hold the door for the neighbors cat or dog. I also hold elevator doors in the building I live so like this the elevator does one single trip and we all save time and resources. Even yesterday i saw an old lady walking very slowly supported by a crutch trying to cross a very movimented street. I went to her and asked if she needed my help to cross the road she gave me her arm and said 'If you wont mind I really appreciate'. The i just put my hand up to the cars could see us while the lady was telling me she still can live her life and shes not in a rush but crossing the street is scary since she's afraid thar drivers run out of pacience and run over her. Being self sufficient doesn't mean that help isn't appreciated.

[@Ryan-eu3kp]

You think men don't open doors for other men? It's common fu!@ing courtesy. You really don't understand men do you.

[@danix4883]

@@redleeks6253 Agreed, I am from the USA and opening the door isn't us trying to say you aren't capable, its just us trying to be nice, its common manners

[@amadeuz819]

Its a different story outside the cities, like its city people that are rude and selfish. Go to a smaller town and people do speak about everything you do but we also help each other much more, we thank each other even the bus driver(they do not do it in the cities). Also when a city person moves to an area the "village spirit" goes down until the city person adapts because they just abuse the help from everyone not giving anything back(like you can bake some bread or something make something that you are good at, doesn't need to be expensive as long as the person knows you put effort into it but nothing is better than something bad tasting).

[@andreiturcanu9307]

The most difficult nation I encounter , I was last summer in Helsinki and it was bad experience !! People living in their own shell 🐚

[@sorbuspihla]

We Finns do help people and are extremely nice to people, but it always comes from a place of honesty. We went through hell during WW2 by the soviet so we value resilience (or "sisu" as it should be called) more than anything. And quite frankly if you're some rude and/or loud-talking foreigner who doesn't understand or respect our culture at all, there's no need to be nice to you or help you with anything. I've interacted with so many SCREAMING (they might think their voice is normal) foreigners and that drives me crazy. People expect small-talk, we don't do that here. People expect shallow gestures, we don't do those here. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with our culture.

[@froggygreen2876]

Thank you.. so helpful to know!

[@Gnomereginam]

I'm a Finn and we always hold doors for others. But offering your spot in the queue to someone with just a few groceries is unheard of

[@AamuAurora]

It's not missing, I'd say it's different and that's ok. Finnish people are very honest and respectful and I prefer this to fake politeness that is mixed with demands and high maintenance attitude. Maybe nobody opened doors for me but I didn't have to ask anyone to respect my private space, not to endlessly talk on the phone on a long train ride. Also, anytime I asked someone for help they were really nice and dedicated. Maybe they didn't indicate it themselves but I think it's ok to just ask.

[@toinenosoite3173]

This sounded very strange. People help one another if there seems to be a need for it, e.g. I think she is totally wrong with having it hard as a mother with a child in a stroller. I don't know how many times I have opened doors for them or let them go first etcetera. Another thing is helping as an automatic reaction, particularly when it come to "being a gentleman", which imo is a strange notion from olden times. As a man trying to do it, you can actually get negative reactions, i.e. it has to do with the last point: Do you think that I can't manage it myself...

[@kamogelok5315]

She looks like a Nordic woman fron the 1600s. She's extremely beautiful

[@reyna9805]

Their culture sounds like my personality 😅 I would thrive there ✨️

[@kriswielens2658]

Seems like a fantastic loving society

[@Meskarune]

I am an american living in finland and people always hold open doors for me here? Both men and women do it so it doesn't seem gendered either, just whoever goes first holds the door open.

[@smilingdog2219]

Interesting, I suspect it developed over the years as a defense mechanism to survive. Kind of how prisoners behave.

[@julienakazi9336]

Netherlands is similar

[@user-vl2jq1wx7w]

I've never resonated with something more than this.

[@r.westerling4280]

Common courtesy also includes giving someone the opportunity to show their chivalry by helping you.

[@anne241163]

Same in Norway

[@taavittee]

As a Finn from Western Finland, I do not agree or relate to any of this🤨

[@ainmartinez8186]

I'm Filipino, and this is shockingly different from our culture. Father's walk their babies when the mother is busy (cooking, laundry etc.) And it's quite rude for woman if the man didn't open the door for them. Gentlemen is common here.

[@chantypince1804]

Its not a sign of weakness to learn to accept help, it is a humble Action.

[@mjeff5050]

It's almost like Independence to a fault.

[@SiskoMaSu]

I would feel rude to expect someone to open a door for me or do my heavy lifting just because I'm woman. Or take someone's time just to move my lips but say nothing. But I'm a Finnish woman. I love that we have raised to understand that anyone can do about anything and it has nothing to do with your gender etc. We are loyal, warm and loving people when we get to know each others, but we don't say we are friends or that we love you after few hours. And we help people with kids regardless of the gender of the parent if there is need 🙄

[@optimize.]

It’s straightforward, those that needed too much help never made it through winter in the olden days. So now it’s culture for the Nordic’s to value self reliance.

[@woman178]

Finland is a very beautiful country people are very good friendly nice and polite people who are interested in visiting Finland can visit I also invite finnish people to visit here enjoy the hospitality nature food culture etc

[@MegaPierzak]

It's not bad to be self-sufficient, resilient etc. but not just for the sake of being. I think that humans as species got so far because of "team work".

[@maximilian9295]

😐that sounds really sad. So much warmth comes from helping others

[@villapulla]

Finnish people do help eachother. It's more of a mindset thing, where it's not expected culturally. So when you help you just do it because you want to help, not because you're expected to do so.

[@maximilian9295]

@villapulla I guess cause I always want to help, it's a gift to myself too. And if someone helps me, I'm so grateful and smile all day. To be deprived of that sounds sad. But I guess what you mean, is others might be helping because they feel they have to and not because they want to. In places in the US, like Seattle or San Francisco, people will not help anyone, they avoid you and everyone walks around with angry faces.

[@Brakballe]

Finland is amongst the top 3 in the world of everything! I as a Norwegian bow. They are better than us.

[@turpasauna]

And once again, people around the world are judging us based on their own culture. 🙄 Our reasons are not what you claim, you just don't get it. I'm happy to help if anyone has any sincere questions.

[@jasonbennett60]

The common courtesies of older times are long gone here in the States,too. If you try to help strangers you’re probably going to get the cops called on you 😢

[@karollavine4052]

Someone commented they seems cold as the weather I live in Norway border with Finland is hell they boring and cold

[@2xtreem4u]

Automatic doors are a great invention

[@jasmine.f3917]

accepting help is it's own kind of strength

[@alunoodalmheiri7028]

Im a woman, but id help a mother if she seems in need 😅 Why does it have to be a man who helps u carry stuff, or open doors? 😅

[@Abhiraj_Jana]

Thats better actually! self sufficiency is a better quality than dependence. Thats why nordics excel in everything, the culture is so rational.

[@LostAnFound]

Miss you, Carly

[@cassiopeiathew7406]

I think we should all practice reciprocity even in small actions vs just chivalry, there’s no reason men can’t hold the door for women AND women can’t hold the door for men. We should all be doing small good turns for each other I feel

[@akbrahma7739]

This is super interesting.

[@r.westerling4280]

If she doesn't want it, she doesn't deserve it.

[@mikehev222]

Good job Finland! Equal pay = equal rights

[@bloodtypena]

For me as a woman, I think only opening doors for someone just because of their gender is unnecessary.Opening a door to someone because you see them struggle or they are right behind you so the door would not slam right infront of their face that is helpful, kind and caring. Communication is important you can ask if someone needs help but if they say they dont need it respect their boundary.

[@timfronimos459]

We have many Finns here in michigan. Is especially in michigan's upper peninsula

[@FC-zx4ed]

I’m sorry I know a man is not obligated to hold the door open for a woman, but it’s considered common courtesy to do it.

[@turpasauna]

The topic is Finnish rudeness. In the comments hundreds of people are boasting about how their culture is superior to others, and that we appear lifeless. 😅

[@palanivisu1344]

This sounds shit. Come to india we will change you 😂😂. This cannot be in the top happy nation from what she says. They should release the depression data of this country

[@SandraT269]

This doesn't mean that all of Finland is like this. Maybe for her, but not for majority.

[@palanivisu1344]

I hope and would be really happy if what you mentioned is the reality. 👍

[@jumalankeskisormi]

The whole of India is a garbage dump, and there are zero reasons to ever visit there

[@SandraT269]

@@palanivisu1344 It's just Finnish personality to nag about anything- even students cry when they get free food on school. Everything is fine but people just don't admire it.

[@sorbuspihla]

As a Finn, there's nothing shitty about this. We do help people and are extremely nice to people, but it always comes from a place of honesty. We went through hell during WW2 by the soviet so we value resilience (or "sisu" as it should be called) more than anything. And quite frankly if you're some rude and/or loud-talking foreigner who doesn't understand or respect our culture at all, there's no need to be nice to you or help you with anything. I've interacted with so many SCREAMING (they might think their voice is normal) foreigners and that drives me crazy. People expect small-talk, we don't do that here. People expect shallow gestures, we don't do those here. That doesn't mean there's anything shitty about our culture.

[@creatorofgods1668]

That is why they were able to stand up against the Soviet Union when they tried to control Finland. Finland was like nope we can govern ourselves.

[@nurbergylmaz8478]

In this way of of life, its too easy to get depression, anxiety and so to commit suicide. These society norms of Scandinavian countries explain why they have highest suicide rates.

[@liv0003]

the story that Scandinavian countries have a high suicide rate is not true, if you look at the statistics they don't have a particularly high suicide rate. However, Finland is not even a Scandinavian country. The Scandinavian countries are Denmark, Sweden and Norway

[@angel794]

High suicide rates are common in regions and countries with long, cold winters. Lack of sun exposure is a big factor in seasonal depression.

[@specialnanobot]

They don't have the highest suicide rates.

[@iamjustsaying4787]

Sounds like Idaho.

[@anthia1156]

I am short, I always need help with my luggage on the plane. And there is nothing I can do about it!

[@JoiskiMe]

A culture that glorifies self-sufficiency to the point where it rejects the concept of relying on others is sick.

[@daleweiss9507]

She's gorgeous.

[@lavonnealexander6936]

I would survive in Finland 🇫🇮

[@Venom55704]

For the Indians :- She said, vjjgbjiggj jjjkljh njjv shskira vaka vaka aeee aee vaka vaka ooo.aaa 😂😂😂😂

[@Bernieperera14]

And It's the happiest country in this world. Really?? 🙄

[@arcabuz]

Not in the terms we all think of happiness. As I always tell to friends: Finland makes life possible, places like Italy make it worth.

[@alpialpiansyah4086]

Bisa sia ka hobir na okos di perahu ngobroll nya.

[@lalva5798]

I think opening and closing doors for the woman is sooo passé. Do women realize how ridiculous this ritual is?

[@Yams-Hams7734]

Um, no woman is asking for a man to open the door for them, it’s the men that are actually doing the action, and that’s your opinion, people can do what they choose.

[@lalva5798]

@@Yams-Hams7734 I never said they couldn’t. To each their own, just not for me

[@FourSeasons04]

To each their own indeed...I never turn down the gesture.😊

[@lalva5798]

@@FourSeasons04 yes, I was the chivalrous one at one time. Running back and forth to open and close car doors, etc. I then met a renaissance woman who saw how totally ridiculous the ritual was. I’ll open doors all day long if they pick up the dinner tab

[@alexisarrizon6083]

​@@lalva5798You must be miserably single 😂😂😂

[@shadrach6299]

I resist help but I always offer it. Don’t know why.

[@ashwinniamat8560]

Finland looks good to me. She can carry my stuff. Soft Guy Era

[@serpentine2444]

I try to appreciate cultural differences, and I can support self sufficiency generally, but the idea that anyone could be carrying a baby and ask for a hand with something and the other person would say "no you can do it yourself" strikes me as pretty awful. I am not sure from the video if that's something that *has* happened in Finland or *habitually happens* in Finland, but I hope the former. It takes a village, y'all.

[@Chandleresque]

Because Calvinism is in their blood.