Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation?

“Initially, helicopter parenting appears to work,” says Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult. “As a kid, you're kept safe, you're given direction, and you might get a better grade because the parent is arguing with the teacher.” But, ultimately, parents end up getting in the child’s way. In the first episode of Home School, The Atlantic’s new animated series on parenting, Lythcott-Haims explains how helicopter parenting strips children of agency and the ability to cultivate their own tools to navigate the world.
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[@TheAtlantic]

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[@ropro9817]

Well, our future is doomed then. 😆 Kidding. I work with some gen-Z people and they're not _all_ delicate little flowers. Some of them are quite capable and independent.

[@natbaker2561]

And then the parents sit back and say "oh, how terrible this young generation is!" Its your own fault for not raising them right

[@htoodoh5770]

Nat Baker They try their best.

[@sophiadavenport3959]

You must earn respect in any relationship.

[@htoodoh5770]

Do you mean the helicopter parent?

[@htoodoh5770]

You can't all blame your parent. Sure you probably weren't raised well, but by the time you are 20 you are stepping into adulthood. And when you are 25 you should already learned what those responsibility are even without your parent.

[@OrigamiMaster06]

@@htoodoh5770 To learn an entire lifetime of skills that you weren't able to learn due to your parents isn't a five-year task. Sure you may be a functioning adult by then but, there will still be many things that you won't be very good at. Also, forget trying to be a leader or having leadership qualities because you're still trying to figure out your own shit and that effectively keeps you from many STEM and business jobs. Sure you may develop them later but it takes a LONG time.

[@reika542]

As someone who is raised by helicopter parents, it's a complete nightmare to live with them even through adulthood. I'm currently in my early 20s living with my parents and they still feel like they need to hold my hand or bring me along which aggravates me a lot. Hopefully moving out in the near future, I'll finally be able to escape this torture.

[@danielsalvetti8085]

This is how we get you to leave ;)

[@bigbay1159]

It takes more than just leaving but standing up for yourself...

[@hossainayon9588]

I will bet 1000$ that u r from Asia 🤣

[@hossainayon9588]

@@bigbay1159 not possible in an Asian household

[@marianapretti19]

wait till they scold you in public like a kid, when I get out with my parents I have to think if it is really worth it.

[@madis0nfilms]

I wish you could show this to my parents

[@macbookproearly2011]

Show them by being responsible for your decisions and making a life of your own.

[@LowestofheDead]

"Mom I want to learn Japanese" "That's stupid, learn Chinese instead" I started learning Japanese secretly but my Mom found my book and told me to stop.

[@macbookproearly2011]

If I listened to my parents I'd be poor right now and angry at the world. Do you.

[@minecraftminertime]

Show your parents this video right now. I challenge you to do that.

[@Gerno_]

@@LowestofheDead why would your mom be mad at you for learning a difficult language? Jeez why would you even really need chinese if your not interested in china?

[@zanerobbins7604]

There are kids in my grade that dont know how to operate a washing machine. Most dont know how to wipe down and clean a table. Most dont know how to sweep. I know i kind of hate doing chores, but when i see the kids at my school "wipe" (wipe as in lazily drag the cloth across the table once, in a line, not even getting any bits of food or stains) the lunch table, and "sweep" the floor, it makes me appreciate my mother making me clean.

[@linusmlgtips2123]

That doesnt have to do with parenting skills directly. Kids are just lazy.

[@suzbone]

Amen, Zane. I hated chores too but even back then my parents made it clear how chores growing up teach the skills and knowledge we'd need as adults. A lot of house and yard work isn't really intuitive and requires coaching to do properly. I can tell that many of my friends weren't taught how to do basic chores efficiently/effectively, and that they were left to figure it out themselves. I have a very sweet friend (in her 30's) who actually has her own cleaning service, and watching her work damn near KILLS me. She doesn't know how to do ANYTHING properly; she spends twice as much time and effort doing everything and the results are *noticeably* poor. And guess what: she's lamented that her mother did ALL the chores and refused to let her and her sister do ANY. She was left to figure everything out on her own, and unfortunately it shows :( I bite my tongue a lot lol

[@minecraftminertime]

LinusMLGTips this actually does have to do with parenting skills. The kids don't seem to know how to clean, which can happen with other essential skills that kids should know before they become adults. Also, parents can actually use skills to make their kids less lazy. By getting kids to do chores and other things, kids learn to be less lazy.

[@KRIGBERT]

I've been reading about Waldorf pedagogy lately, and in one book, Steiner himself describes a Waldorf kindergarten in Russia, where some of the kids spent the first few months just repeatedly doing the dishes because they were so into it. I was recently also in a Waldorf kindergarten, where I was told about a particularly wild child, that they'd some times just set him to scrubbing a pot because he had so much energy. I washed the big wooden tables with some of the kids there as well - scrubbed them properly with soft soap - no lack of enthusiasm there either… and it's not just Waldorf kindergartens - where I normally work, we have to make lists for setting the tables, because most of the kids want to do it every time. Kids aren't lazy - they just aren't very motivated when things are mandatory and they don't deeply understand the point.

[@gm45_62]

As a kid I always loved staying home. I could cook what I want, watch what I want, and if I made a mess I always cleaned it up

[@videosdrive469]

Now that I'm eighteen i can see the way I've been raised has affected me negatively and i am trying hard to break out of it however when you have no clue where to start off it's even more difficult

[@francheska2113]

How are you now?

[@terak.j9587]

Late reply, but I’m also in the same situation currently. Sucks big time…

[@vrmpyr]

just about to start college and i feel the same way- my mom doesn't even let me pack my own things

[@Moikyuu]

It starts with small steps. Think about little things you want to do on your own-- cooking, laundry, cleaning. Start by saying, "hey mom, can you explain how you sort laundry?. Have her show you how she does it, then let her watch you. Ask any questions. And most importantly, don't be afraid to fail. No matter what, there will always be another way. If you wash a red sock with your white shirt, you can always bleach it--so on and so forth.

[@ladams5061]

I met my best friend when we are around 3 when our moms went to a parenting class. We can both agree that they didn’t go enough

[@Vospader21]

I’m 23, I have a masters degree and got my first job at a major company with a great salary right out the gate all completely through my own hard work. My parents still treat me like a child.

[@francheska2113]

that sounds really cool! what industry do you work in?

[@catsarelit5305]

Ouch

[@danypurnomo4817]

Some ppl are not supposed to having a kid, my mom is using narcistic parenting and my dad are hellicopter, my life is misserable

[@gm45_62]

dany purnomo maybe learning some grammar would make you feel better

[@janaekelis]

GM45 _ dude wtf. That person is having a serious issue and you're being a grammar nazi

[@gm45_62]

Ghost Shrimpe k

[@scarletramirez1784]

GM45 _ If that's how you'll play, please capitalize the first letter and use the correct punctuation.

[@herpderpy9445]

GM45_ English isn't everyone's first language, you know...

[@woodmxn.]

When I'm a parent, I'mma make sure my kids has social skills and experience, so they can have confidence

[@cbgh4637]

They never listen to criticism of their parenting ways and always believe in their delusion of doing good. I witnessed one parent letting his toddler walk on her own feet without holding her hand but supervising her at the back. That is good parenting not helicopter parenting. Let your kid fall down and get back up themselves. I had my parents accompany me to work for my first part time job. It was humiliating, disrespectful and disgusting. It hurts me but they never listen when they are confronted with their own mistakes and bad parenting methods. Set healthy boundaries with your child and not get overinvolved. They always use this phrase: 'All I did was for your own good.' to justify helicopter parenting. I had my mum crying when I told her the issues I have with her parenting ways. My criticism of her helicopter parenting hurt her so badly and it would sour any relationship you can have with your kid.

[@Rickey1]

"We teach our kids how to walk, how to pack up supplies, how to cross the street... But kids must be able to make their own mistakes when growing up." *gets hit by a car*

[@kaylanicole6229]

Why would you say that . That’s awful i hope ur kid won’t see this 😭

[@ryanjohnston1528]

He said that because these things do happen.

[@joannequinonesreed4501]

At age 17, 18, 19 - you’re worried about their getting hit by a car?? You have big problems.

[@hakandemir8382]

Getting hit by a car is still his responsibility

[@bigbay1159]

@@kaylanicole6229 God I hope this is a troll...

[@markfennell1167]

Teach. Demonstrate. Let them practice under supervision. Encourage when they do it on their own. Encourage when they have difficulties. Send them out again with love and confidence. Everybody needs coaching and guidance. Even Olympic athletes. But ultimately you encourage while they do it

[@trickyy5738]

This parenting is horrible, you can’t put a blindfold over your kids eyes and expect them to be perfect after you take it off, they haven’t even SEEN the world yet because you blocked it off, kids need to know how disgusting and horrible this world is and how it can punch you down and kick you on the ground, all they know is “where is my parents to do this, I need help”

[@trickster_198danny5]

My dad, ex baby sister and my teacher are so disappointed becuz i have changed to be more independent and socialable they said "you are not cute anymore. always play with your friend, not family, im so disappointed! I like more when you are so spoiled! No body want an independent girls!! Disgusting!" Meanwhile i hangedout with my friend just once amonth. Im so glad now im orphaned.!!

[@Seventh_Fail_hai_Wodi]

The most unfortunate life of a child is to have both parents who lack exposure, negligible courage, have personal relationship (PR) only at their level and are always fearful of children failure. My life....lost.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[@cajayson8301]

My mom is a helicopter parent. It's gone on too long and I'm finally getting a third party involved (therapist) as she doesn't know when to STFU. After trying so many years to get her to respect boundaries, my patience has finally dissipated. I believe this clip 100%. Helicopter parenting is counterproductive and toxic.

[@yoleeisbored]

Yes. This has ruined a generation... Kids need to be able to go out hangout and socialize normally...

[@Tinskap]

I never wanna be a parent like this. My parents were real nice and they gave me freedom but if i did some dumb shit they let me know.

[@eskay1891]

"moment they walk, they walk away from us".....

[@Seventh_Fail_hai_Wodi]

Being a split personality, I refused to marry with fear in my mind about my shortcomings. 1) Over Possession and extreme love. 2) Strict, Authoritarian, uncompromising. 😊😊😊

[@micahsux_]

At some point in adulthood helicopter parents will have to realize that children grow up and learn. Your kid is in their mid 20’s, they don’t need help. Not to mention the long term effects of this kind of parenting, like being more dependent on their parents for practically everything they would be able to do if they were just allowed to grow and learn. Now, I don’t know from experience and that maybe why I don’t know much about this parenting style, but it seems really overprotective and obsessive to care that much about your kid intro their early 20’s.

[@demo29125]

It’s horrible to have helicopter parents. I can’t even tie my shoes because they just do everything for me! Sure that may sound good, but never learning to do anything in life will ruin it.

[@Rakhilya]

Did make me recall one expert reply, "From birth" to a question of when should parents start letting their kids go.

[@Xiox321]

Someone briefly mentioned that I might be a helicopter parent yesterday, I had no idea what that meant, now all of a sudden this is in my recommended.

[@ReddAnimations]

If you have helicopter parents you get to play fortnite until 4AM XD

[@jesupcolt]

This is why a lot of millenials seem to flounder when they get out into the real world.

[@ysabellamedrano3360]

+Andy Williams well it's a little crazy, isn't it? either we're completely unprepared or had jobs since age 16. not a bad thing, but there's such a difference. imo it's always been here, ever since the US finally got children's rights. hopefully we'll find a good balance soon when it comes to parenting.

[@jesupcolt]

baby elijah wood, but we didn't see this style of parenting en masse until the millenials. That's why, I think, so many seem to be so mal-adjusted and immature.

[@miraak6763]

I apologise, i know these were posted a month ago but it seems that maybe there were other factors leading up to the millennial childhood that changed and snapped back on gen z, as other people in the comments have said the late baby boomer/early-ish millennial eras were let loose, a decent combination of careless and strict as technology advanced and many things became easier. Maybe as time passed this grey area between generations realized how dangerous things were, how careless and strict. Flexible in a way like a padded cell where the child is contained and monitered but kept soft, not exposed to much. Thought helicopter parenting does not apply to every single parent from the millenials/late baby boomers it is a problem that was made as a solution (which failed) and as Baby Elijah Wood said hopefully when the the late millennial/ gen z become parents (if they already weren't) something will have changed for the better, but honestly the way things are going right now it seems confusing based on the state america is in and how many terrible things are happening here and all over the world, we will have to wait and see. (I do hope none of this came from a place of ignorance, most of this is trying to piece together, make a hypothesis. I apologise for any bad writing because it is not exactly my strength)

[@mustasheolll2020]

I’m not a millennial, but my dad helicoptered me most of my childhood. It hurt me, I’m still recovering.

[@bigbay1159]

I guess a generation of bad parents causes that...

[@Angie-ny6ln]

What comes first, the helicopter parent or the anxious, developmentally delayed, dysfunctional child? A mom’s brain is designed to respond to their baby’s cry. These mechanisms evolved for a reason. So take these merely correlational or observational studies with a grain of salt. There is no bigger target than the ones we mothers wear on our backs.

[@colestrains1]

*cries in agonizing life 360*

[@Vallavender333]

How do you recover from having a helicopter parent

[@maty1594]

1:41 amogus reference??!😰😳😳

[@retr0854]

1:41 amogus 😳📮🆘

[@seemagrover4228]

How does the helicopter part come into the picture????

[@HughJason]

Am I right to think that it's mostly mothers, rather than fathers, that do helicopter parenting, and sons, rather than daughters, that suffer most from it ? Daughters seem to be better equipped to resist.

[@johnmarstonlives]

Yes.

[@BillyWright-xg6ig]

Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey

[@utleychase7]

*_”Children aren’t coloring books... you don’t get to fill them with your favorite colors.”_* -Rahim Kahn, “The Kite Runner”

[@crosskill4529]

Facts

[@changedfornoreason8199]

No,No they got the point

[@cheryltravis8616]

Almost like letting ya Son believe it's a Girl or ya girl thinkin it's a Boy 🤢 SAME SAME 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🚁

[@calforrai]

My parents will always use the same argument. They blame me for not appearing reliable or independent to them. And ask me do you think we like to control you every step of the way tirelessly? Yes you do. You enjoy that very very much you sicko.

[@jesseward568]

Abuse

[@uncannyvally7022]

Same here… I’m like dude you expect me to show reliability at 6 yo? YOU have to teach me that shit! LOL

[@catherinebirch2399]

My parents treated me like a baby when I was a teenager and then had the nerve to complain about me being immature. Who's fault was that?

[@numbercode2486]

I mean, don't get them wrong. They do want you to do things on your own, it's just the fact that they don't know how to teach you to be more independent because they're afraid of the risks of every learning opportunity, so they end up micromanaging. But blaming their kids is still a bold move.

[@SoulerClash]

I strongly relate.

[@FRISHR]

Step 1: I do, you watch. Step 2: I do, you help. Step 3: You do, I help. Step 4: You do, I watch.

[@KRIGBERT]

5: you do, I'm somewhere else

[@FRISHR]

6: I pick up gun, you go to school

[@KRIGBERT]

That escalated quickly! :l

[@supercellex4D]

@@FRISHR 7: you pick up gun, you go to school

[@anonymously-org]

@@FRISHR damn

[@labdjcxn3xy]

Growing up i was unable to hang out with friends outside of school because of my parent’s fear of their male relatives and friends, plus it was a hassle to bring me when it messed up their busy schedules. (Not to mention they didn’t trust anyone else driving me) This made me really depressed and my social skills dropped to rock bottom. I became a hermit not by choice and i thought it was better not to make friends if I couldn’t see them. I deleted my snapchat because I was jealous of the places my peers were going to and that I couldn’t be a part of it. I have a lot of social anxiety now-a-days because of my parents’ overprotectiveness.

[@4kmil]

Don't live with it. Give them a peace of your mind

[@kallievillarreal5946]

This is literally happening to me my friends started not inviting me to stuff cuz they know my mom will say no to everything ...I started thinking about it and the furthest I have been from my mom is like outside my house or my room

[@booboobunny5655]

Omg this was like reading an autobiography. My mom and grandparents were so scared of me going to friends houses because I would get “raped” and “killed” by their fathers, uncles or brothers. I was only allowed to visit my half brother’s house and other family members only. I could never relate to other kids/teens because of this. I only now realize how screwed up my childhood was, but hey it could be worse.

[@levibest2409]

Jesus Christ! Same my mothers ex was an extreme helicopter parent. He wouldn’t let us go outside to play with friends Bc he said they were bad children which he wasn’t wrong but still! And he dictated what I could and couldn’t wear to school and I had to wear ugly clothes to school for 3 years and I felt bad, developed very low self esteem, got bullied, I used to dress myself up and look nice, then he came and changed us, now that he’s got and I’m free to dress anyway I want be friends with anyone I want... I could, and I can’t Bc my pride and self worth was destroyed to the point where I care little for my appearance now a days Bc I wasn’t allowed to wear make up or cute clothes and I had to have my hair a certain length and no colors either, so I couldn’t be me. I had friends but was forced to distance myself from them Now I have a hard time making friends. My moms the complete opposite. She cares so little. She’s too involved in her own life that she rarely pays me and my brothers much attention, she works so much she can’t, she claims she wants to spend more time with ya but that’s not true. She hasn’t taught us much and hadn’t really raised us just took care of us... so now I’m starting o care more about my appearance recently I find I don’t have money to do much.. so I’m getting a job. I hope I one soon

[@ohthatschar]

omg same with my mom when i was growing up i couldnt do anything with friends, the last day of my 8th grade year she literally didn’t let me hang out with my friends and 2 days later we moved to a different state and i never got a chance to say goodbye to any of my friends.. so depressing and so hard for me at only 14 years old.

[@timontran2100]

Helicopter parents come from good intentions of securing their children lives, but their parenting skills are not good enough. Respecting the children is essential; they are human beings too.

[@babsdemarco]

or maybe find a balance between the 2. what a concept, right?

[@coolj9496]

See I think that too. Except after watching this video, I realize that helicopter parenting is one of the many mistakes my parents made. And they never cared for me at all, so I can't really say it was done with good intention

[@wanderingoryx3710]

They are potential humans, like how a fetus can become a person and why abortion is such a hot issue topic

[@rasul407]

When I was 6 I started walking to the kindergarten on my own. Walk right in and check in with the staff. When I turned 7, walked to school on my own all the way till I graduated. When I came to America in my 20s I was shocked to see a guy a size of my dad being dropped off by a school bus with flashing lights holding the whole traffic in a safe town. I said I love America!

[@sophiadavenport3959]

@@SkyCloudSilence My mother had me at 33 years old and she was a helicopter parent.

[@BlurryLens3105]

Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation?: Yes.

[@jesseward568]

I can't get away from them they are so horrible. And they just keep talking about how greatvthey are

[@mustasheolll2020]

@@jesseward568 My dad always reminds me of my school work, it’s pretty annoying, makes me want to move out of the house.

[@2008nathansmom]

God were screwed

[@whatoh3407]

Helicopter parenting in the suburbs. Suburb kids are the ones getting raised without any independence. They depend on parents to drive them everywhere. Parents literally build a park in their backyards so there kids don't go to the park. Abolish the suburbs! (or at least make it less car dependent). Some kids in the suburbs can't even leave their house. In the city kids take public transportation to school or to friends houses. They're more aware of their surroundings. There experience more. Suburbs should only be for old people.

[@bigbay1159]

@F-zero91maru what are you 12? Jumping to extremes is beyond naive...

[@EmmyHucker]

This is unrelated to the topic but gosh darn that animation is adorable!

[@brothers.mcleod]

Thank you for saying so.

[@Liphted]

GGGGAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!

[@nirad8026]

Emmy Hucker This is unrelated to the topic but you look like Mia Khalifa

[@-ahvilable-6654]

This is unrelated to the topic but still distracting. Dark coloured people are over represented in the video.

[@itsdogpaw]

-Ah vilable- It’s good. White people are getting old.

[@roninelenion4805]

My mother is a helicopter parent. She's one of those people that always has to monitor me and thinks that I'm too young and ignorant to make the right decisions in the big scary world. I'm constantly butting heads with her because I want to do things my way or be independent. I know that she means well and only wants to keepe safe, but I know that I can't be in her bubble forever, and I don't want to be. She's not going to control my life forever, because I'm going away for college in the fall, and I'm going to study for a profession _I_ chose, make _my_ own decisions, and take responsibility to _my_ actions.

[@kristianutomotobing9719]

Glad to hear that you have such determination Ronin. Strive for your goals! Butt head with your parents in a respectful manner, and prove them that you can do it!

[@deangelodavis9947]

I feel that completely

[@TankuBOSS]

Ronin Elenion You have just explained exactly what I am going through. I love my mother but she makes me feel like I can not accomplish anything at times and I am often embarrassed. Often, there are times where I am meant to go somewhere that involves people my own age who meet up and I am the only one who has my mother with me. Once again, I am very grateful for her but I would greatly appreciate if she could let go of me since I just started my freshman year of college as well. I don’t want to sound like an asshole but I am sure that this is how we feel about our parents, especially when we get into high school

[@TheOneandOnlyMyst]

Dude you just described my life and I'm 15.

[@teentraveler1790]

Alright just don't forget that your decisions will affect the people around you.

[@cosmo9925]

Glad my parents actually had me learn how to do things on my own. I'm 19 and going to move out soon, and I have friends in their early 20's who have no plans of moving out anytime soon, because they're legitimately incapable of doing so. To them, moving out would be like tossing a kid who can't swim into the deep end and saying "figure it out". They don't know how to manage money and they are always broke somehow, yet they don't pay a single bill. We have a generation who don't know how to fend for themselves. It's going to be up to those who know how fend for themselves to carry or help those who cannot. I don't think it's possible to do that, I'm worried we're gonna have a generation of mediocrity, some may argue we already do.

[@rachaelbrimhall5208]

...I think the point is to kick them out, especially if they're not ready. They'll flail, but they'll make it because they HAVE to.

[@digitalcyclone7218]

Say I'm overreacting, but I'm 14 right now and I'm scared I'll end up like those people you mentioned.

[@honestreviews7185]

Cosmo 99 partially it's called doing some research, ask your parents, start putting things into practice and just get on with it. I turned out fine and not only did I find a place to move in to but also learned how to cook, clean get WiFi on my own and now I'm sick of people i live with my age acting like teenagers so I'm getting a studio.

[@honestreviews7185]

StaticStrike bruh! you're 14!!! you've got plenty of time. don't worry yourself hun. You just start to move out when you feel the need too. if you do decide in years to come just start trying to offer to clean, pay bills (if you have a job) and even start saving up for expensive things you want if you do not already do so (as long as you understand how to budget and save money you'll be fine). overtime you'll get used to it so it'll become second knowledge but hell! focus on getting good grades!

[@bettycharms]

StaticStrike start applying for a part time job , make a list of house chores you need to practice, ask someone to teach you how to pay bills in case your parents wont teach you , learn to cook healthy meals , learn to use cleaning supplies , always buy on discount or sale , collect food tickets. Start saving money. start figuring out what is your plan after high school, sit down and figure out your dreams and abitions and what job do you relate the most with , and honestly research it and see the pros and cons , watch videos about it , learn to take college level tests , apply for extra credit always bc that shit helps. learn to sew to mend clothes , learn mechanics to fix a sink , mantain a healthy lifestyle and colorful green , do stomach crunches , always eat enough food so you dont crave desserts (it just rots your teeth and brings out more expenses) , have exquisite dental hygiene , pick up after yourself , be reliable , learn how to drive , always be organized with everything , your studies , your thoughts , your emotions , meditate , don't fear the future because you are your best friend , and all the strenght you need is within yourself , rely in no one else but you , and always look for opportunities , let your wishes be heard by other people , because the more you call out for it and let people know , the more likely it is for it to manifest. Develop social skills to be able to climb the ladder of sucess , control your emotions , there are no stupid questions , but there are shit people who will shut you down because you don't know something , not because you're stupid but because they're assholes, so no need to take it to heart , saves more time, if that happens then you just move on to somebody else and ask what you need to know. Always check your change in the case its wrong and always hold on to secret extra cash and a prepaid cellphone hidden in your clothing in case you're robbed , a taser for self defense , take some sort of self defense classes to let out weekly frustration and keep the juices flowing, fruit replaces snacks , oh and get multiple money sources , so you can stay afloat. i think i covered everything on how to be a functional adult. If you do all that you're very likely to be way more suceful than anyone you know , and above all , happier and fulfilled.

[@jennie.h7605]

For future parents out there planning to have kids, PLEASE do not be like my helicopter parent mom. Your kids will be too dependent on you and they won’t ever learn how to do things on their own, talking from my own experience. Let your kids explore and make mistakes because they’re opportunities to learn. My parents shielded me from everything bad in the world. As a young child sure that’s nice, but now as a teenager I’m no where near ready for the adult world.

[@albertomedina4394]

That's exactly how I feel

[@everydayfun9531]

My Dad just does too much for me and I always feel guilty and cause my dad didn't teach me the skills needed for this world even im nowhere near ready for this adult world and I wish to teach my kids better about this world than my dad ever did...

[@TeaCup1940]

I think parents should try to shield children from certain dangers, for example bullying, sexual abuse, rape, kidnapping and murder. But not others like falling or hurting themselves a bit.

[@albertomedina4394]

It's the same exact thing with me!! My parents say that I'm too naive to go out into the world... I'm 20 years old! How am I supposed to not be naive to the rest of the world if I stay at home all the time just because of my parents orders?!?! It's crazy!!

[@bigbay1159]

You're 20 leave or set boundaries...and if that sounds hard...that's life and the trade off... People drop everything and literally walk or boat to different areas with no support and make a new life one way or another...and you likely don't have half the struggles like those folks. If it's that bad, do something about it

[@adamlippert7126]

That’s crazy, my parents were trying to get me out of the house as soon as I graduated high school.

[@nikolailic9958]

this is very important for parents to understand. My parents weren’t helicopter parents with me, but they really are with my brother. they don’t let him do anything or take responsibility for anything. Parents if you’re reading, please let your kids make their own decisions sometimes and don’t always control their lives.

[@numbercode2486]

I can truly find a pattern between this comment and the reality we live in. My older sister grew up hanging out with her friends more than staying at home, so she was more prone to being independent, and she really is. She avoided my father during my parents' separation and lived with my mom, that's where she found more freedom. She is 23 as of now, and she's in University living in the other side of the state. I'm 20 and I almost always get my decisions chosen for me from my parents, and it's affecting my development. Don't get me wrong though, I have my part in responsibility to take care of myself and to make myself independent, but I feel like a part of that progress is being hindered, mostly by micro-management behavior. I don't completely blame my parents though, I just wish they'd done it differently. I'm not keen on having kids but if I did have to take care of one, I would want to do it differently.

[@eagle3676]

Helicopter parents are awful. Let the children live and learn And if a parent let's their kids do something independently, they're called negligence

[@yee7849]

My parents are like this wish me luck pls 😢

[@yashny]

My helicopter parents need to watch this. I can't even cook a simple meal without them jumping like I'm going to burn the house down

[@badgerattoadhall]

When I was like 9 I wanted something to eat so I grabbed a skillet and put it on the stove to make some eggs. My mother came in, saw what I was doing, said "you have the heat to high to make eggs right, put it on medium" and left. Man I am glad I was at the end of "free range kid" era.

[@yashny]

@@badgerattoadhall glad to know that was your experience! You even got some tips. When I wanted to try eggs there was a time I literally waited until midnight so everyone will be sleeping so I can try my hand at frying eggs lol. My comment is really old btw. A lot has changed now thankfully!

[@badgerattoadhall]

@@yashny no this was in the 1980s that this happened.

[@justfelix30]

If your not gonna fail how will you succeed in doing something properly ever told your parents that?

[@yashny]

@@justfelix30 they understood that later on.. been long time

[@jlb8111]

I'm in highschool. There are still kids that get their lunch or homework driven to school if they forget to pack it. My parents never did that from 5th grade up. If I don't pack my stuff, I have to live with the consequences. I now 17 year-olds that don't have to pack their bags themselves entirely, there mom's do it for them. But also this is in many ways an American problem. I live in Germany and when I visited my aunt in the US a couple years ago (I was seven) strangers on the street or in the mall would come up to my parents asking "is this your kid?", "Please have an eye on your kid." and even telling them that they were irresponsible for letting me run around or walk a couple feet in front of them. That was around a time when in Germany I was riding my bike to school every day alone (about 5 km), going into the woods with children my age or taking the bus into town to eat ice cream without supervision. I recently have seen an article where American parents got into trouble because they let their first graders walk home from school unsupervised. In Germany this is normal, all my friends did the same, noone cared, noone died.

[@marrymekatsuya]

J. Leonie we americans that live in cities are paranoid asf

[@LancesArmorStriking]

J. Leonie Problem is America isn't designed for that. In suburbs, because everything is spread out, you either have a car or you're fucked. Kids can't get on a bus to meet their friends, they need to ask parents to set up a "playdate." Then, when they finally learn to drive, there are no good places to go to. It's either city (downtown is fine, but Chicago's center, for instance, is surrounded by ghettos and muggings are common) or suburbs (nothing but housing). The United States lacks places to enjoy. You either live or work. No places for kids to develop. It's hell.

[@marrymekatsuya]

LancesArmorStriking ikr

[@starlesssu]

in the Netherlands we had the same thing, there was a lady in the neighborhood who would walk her kid and any other kids in the neighborhood to school but once you became old enough to look after yourself you'd just bike to school alone or with friends. and all this was in elementary school mind you

[@3dcomrade]

Lol at indonesia 5th graders ride motorbikes

[@mandykayla4762]

Yea I agree with this my parents were over protective with me. They wouldn’t let me stay after school, do after school activity, get a part time job, and wouldn’t teach me how to drive because they would say “Oh what if something happened to you baby girl” they wanted to cuddle me from the world but for some reason they let my little sister do anything which they did the whole favoritism thing.

[@shellyhamersley6366]

So parents who keep their kids in a shell of defence, are making kids inexperienced and foolish *GEE I WONDER WHY*

[@albertomedina4394]

Yuppp

[@nathan1507]

Imagine not letting your child to hang out and have fun as a kid and still being puzzled when they can't make friends as an adult.

[@bcubed72]

As a gen-Xer, my favorite thing was being a "latchkey kid" when my parents divorced. I was essentially raising myself from 3PM until 7 or 8 when my dad or mom got home. Cooked my own food; sought my own entertainment. Which was a BIG reason why I was able to be quasi-independent as a high-schooler: went to school; worked a job I found; came home to eat dinner and sleep. Not all my decisions were great (probably should have waited beyond 13 to start my drinking career), but I managed. Kids today seem like "overgrown infants."

[@therobinsontableno.5192]

Do you sometimes wish that the world is supposed to die

[@donnienora9782]

Overgrown infants! I'm dying 🤣🤣

[@justanomorifan3059]

I cook for my family, and I'm 11. I see people say "I'm edhdidjhissexual." Or somthing like that. It's like everyone wants to be special.

[@justanomorifan3059]

@Hania Nayla dont worry I accept most genders/sexualitys I'm talking about the people who actully lie. (Like lesbians who dont like women)

[@janedolores79]

@@justanomorifan3059 LMFAOOOO UR HILARIOUS AND 100% ON POINT

[@cos3]

Children raising children. Those helicopter parents are making a mistake when overdoing it..

[@sominboy2757]

Children raising children made gen x as independent as they became(even though it was completely by accident and most gen x'ers who had to live like that only did it to survive) What the hell happened?

[@bigbay1159]

@@sominboy2757 well clearly it came with downfalls since the generation produced so many worthless parents... That's what happened, all these kids didn't raise themselves....so if these new generations are so bad, then it just shows how worthless the previous generations were at raising kids...

[@xskittybellax8017]

This was my mom's process when teaching me how to wash and fold my own clothes at 8yrs old. I remember going to highschool with people who didn't know how to work a washing machine cause their mom always did their clothes for them. So sad.

[@drstraw1368]

My parents were helicopters I was one too, then I joined the army I became an Apache helicopter.

[@rosbifle413]

My grandad was a chinook.

[@mobilegamingkayleigh]

fuck I laughed

[@orenji-ov2yq]

i thought it was about parents who spy on their kids with drones lol

[@kashhh4u]

Same XD

[@remc0s]

That will be next step in helicopter parenting.

[@ceciliawallerstrom796]

Lol

[@KRAWofficial]

Shhhh, don't give them anymore ideas!

[@dewolf123]

@@KRAWofficial Parents won't see this dummy

[@DisWldFrk90]

I had one helicopter parent. The other one was less so and helped cancel a lot of her ridiculous rules out. As a result: my relationship with one parent was great and the other one wasn't. One I could talk to and the other one I couldn't. Wanna take a guess as to which parent my relationship was better with? *whispers* Not the helicopter parent.

[@ihavenoideawhatimdoing4]

So your dad

[@DisWldFrk90]

@@ihavenoideawhatimdoing4 In my case yes. My dad

[@ihavenoideawhatimdoing4]

@@DisWldFrk90 I knew it

[@bigbay1159]

Something told me the mother was the issue

[@olivetti1381]

I know a woman who was such a helicopter parent that she didn't even see that her child had off-the-charts ADHD. She said she wanted to be the perfect parent, and in her mind that meant that her child would never have a moment alone. Either she or her husband had to be "interacting" with the kid at all times. Once the kid started going to school, it was clear to everyone that this had been a mistake -- everyone except mom. Her child has been held back 3 times in his first 4 years of school.

[@Andy-hi3yt]

My parents guilt trip me when i try to move out... Im 28..

[@hundekacke]

I grew up with a scared mother who put out her anxiety on her children. It comes from a good place, but it's so hard to watch your friends being helicopter parents to their children because I know how terrible it is when you are an adult and you are stuck with all these insecurities because you never were able to make mistakes and make choices and to be scared and to not be able to trust yourself. It's hard because you have to do the work then as an adult and its much harder when you are an adult and it can even distroy your relationship with your parents. We have to stop putting our family trauma onto our children. It has to stop with us and we have to work on that and not just accept that this is how we are. But it's not only parents also in kindergarten kids are so highly entertained, that kids have a hard time doing nothing or using their imagination to invent games or plays with what they have. They seem to always need someone else to entertain them. It's sad.

[@TransitAndTeslas]

Should we raise the legal adult age to 40? LOL!

[@user-tm3fz7qx3s]

Helicopter parents "Higher!!" Sane people "I thought 21 was good enough.."

[@mesinovict6316]

@@user-tm3fz7qx3s me,an intellectual:i will let off my child when they get a good wage and a nice apartment or a house,and help them financially until they're ready to live independently

[@asha_vere]

My mom is a helicopter parent. She thinks she kept me safe from evil, but she always (and continues to make) excuses for the evil within my own family, especially my father..

[@ekaterinavalinakova2643]

Neglect is bad, so is helicopter parenting. Both is abuse.

[@mustasheolll2020]

Helicopter parenting is passive abuse

[@Panglos]

Having raised one generation and now watching that generation raise another, I've observed that the biggest problem is the unmoderated protection of self-esteem, which teaches children their worth has nothing to do with what they accomplish, or are capable of accomplishing. Then they're in for a rude awakening when they reach adulthood, and are often unprepared, incompetent and unable. Yes, you can become anything you believe you can become, but there's more to it than that. Much more. The key for parents (and educators, and trainers, and employers, and others of influence) is to consistently reward only desirable behavior (desirable not just to the parents, but to all of society). It is most crucial to consistently withhold those rewards when undesirable behavior is shown. Lots of helicopter parents are too weak to do that, as they equate love for their children (and some others) with niceness toward them. Children know that love has more to do with strength (but not abusive strength!) than with niceness. Kids test their parents on their strength, and they take advantage of parents that fail the test. That doesn't mean that children prefer weak parents!

[@minecraftminertime]

I don't think conditional love is a good thing to try. Rewards should only be for kids who accomplish things, but love should be equal to every person. There are too many families with narcissistic parents who only love some of their kids when they do something that the parent likes and neglect kids who don't over-achieve. Each kid should have love and affection, but if a kid accomplishes something, they should have a reward.

[@KRIGBERT]

Panglios, the way kids used to learn this was through stuff like tag, or other rule-based games. In those games, kids need to negotiate and take other's feelings and opinions in to account (otherwise the game doesn't get off the ground), and they need to learn to lose, otherwise the other kids won't want to play with them. Obviously, these benefits disappear when the game is run by an adult or other towering figure of authority.

[@honestreviews7185]

Panglos this is exactly it I think this should have been more or less described in the video

[@smeghead666]

Eh, how about the generations of people brought up to believe they're special cos they're made by god? Literally taught they have divine importance just because. Aren't they more the snowflake generation?

[@jellybeanium124]

MischievousMoo- Conditional love is bad, but I don't think that's the idea Panglos is trying to get across. My mom often said "I'll always love you, but I don't always love the things you do" after I screwed up. When I didn't turn in my homework, there were harsh consequences, not because she was one of those parents that followed the you-must-get-an-A-so-you-can-get-into-Harvard philosophy, but because she knew that not turning in your work in the real world will lead to equally dire consequences.

[@rustyshacklferd535]

Many helicopter parents tend to not have much faith in the child. by constantly telling them they're not doing it right to save them from failure will only set them up for failure.

[@vxxvxxvxx]

Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation? - Yes they are. I saved you two minutes of your time.

[@UnderscoreZeroLP]

no you didn't. you didn't explain anything. what if I summarised a philosophical book by saying "free will doesn't exist"? it doesn't mean anything does it?

[@haroldellis9721]

You beat me to it, as I was going to say very much the same thing.

[@haroldellis9721]

Allow me to clarify my comment; I stand with darkandgreedy.

[@bertogonzalez2396]

Underscore Zero to be fair the video didnt explain much either. It was just cute.

[@samphelps856]

Just a minute for me, watched in double time

[@honestreviews7185]

my mum's a helicopter parent ... she used to clean and cook but she never expected me to intervene much. all I learnt was I saw her often chop and cook things and that all I needed to do was to ask her certain questions about cooking and cleaning when I was ready to leave home. it's mainly having common sense, following instructions on the packaging and having the confidence to just go for it. I don't understand how some people my age have a ton of social confidence yet none when it comes to domestic life

[@CreamTheEverythingFixer]

This is perhaps the best explanation. We've traded our Domestic Skills for Social Skills and so when we become independent and must look after ourselves we fail to do so. The parents of today are rasing children as how they wanted to be raised, the selfishness of Today's generation can be tracked to the one before.

[@UraniumBullets]

This is exactly why I'm so happy for the way I raised. My parents didn't give a crap about my upbringing at all, they were terrible people. So I essentially had to raise myself. Doing so, meant that I grew up fast. And here I am at 23 years old I own a house, couple vehicles, moved across the country, have a well paying career, and a beautiful wife. I know plenty of people my age and older who don't have a single one of those things.

[@caster863]

My mom isn't a helicopter parent, but it's so f*ing depressing to see some other kids having to go through shitty parents. I hope the next generation of parents won't repeat the previous one.

[@mustasheolll2020]

This generation crap is stupid, very gen has good and bad

[@yoleeisbored]

Yes please parents let your kids go outside and meet people and hangout. Let them walk to their friends place just let them go out.

[@justfelix30]

parents act like their kids are spoilt and being ungrateful cause you spoilt them too much and giving in to them rather than making them be more disciplined and being grateful for the things that you have and they didn't even teach us the meaning of hard work on what it really means to work hard and provide for your family one day no wonder why the young generation hate the older generation cause they blame the young people for their own problems on how spoilt the kids are and are ungrateful whose fault is that now Huh.

[@pipertempleton1140]

I got made fun of today by my friends for being homeschooled they told me I should go to public school because I’m not learning enough. It broke my heart to hear that my own friends think I’m dumb. But the worst part is it’s so true.

[@matthewsanchez1108]

This is not a generational issue and this is not the majority of parents in the whole world. Even if we’re talking about the future generations of America, we’ll be fine. People with hovering parents can still grow into contributing members of society. We still of course need reform in our education system as well as better parenting. Beating your child and keeping them isolated and coddled both make your child unequipped for the real world. Too many people go to the extremes.

[@米空軍パイロット]

Matthew Sanchez Yeah, but recovery is such a struggle.

[@heyfami]

Yep. I believe that over coddling a child could be an issue, but I'm not at all convinced that enough people do it to cause any type of societal problems. I hoped the video would do more to set up the idea that parents are over coddling children now as compared to earlier generations, but nope, just another "wrapping children in bubble wrap is bad!!" video. Well no fucking shit.

[@米空軍パイロット]

Inebriatd Lol.

[@bobcatethan8919]

I don't think that this video was encouraging parents to beat their kids. It seems to me that they were just reccomending parents let their kids be more independent rather than doing everything for them.

[@bobcatethan8919]

MaximumCringe be real with them, tell them that the restrictions that they put on you now will harm you later in life when you have underdeveloped social skills and are unable to stay self motivated and rely on yourself. Also don't just argue with them with only your word against theirs, back it up with factual evidence. Try to get your parents to adopt a more authoritative parenting style in stead of authoritarian. Or if all else fails find a good boy scout troop to join, I remember plenty of kids in my troop making friends and finding their social footing in my troop.

[@RosalinaRivera-wl5rk]

I agree that helicopter parenting is very harmful to children and that it's okay and normal for kids to make mistakes. Because, from those mistakes, kids can understand and learn that if you make a mistake, you can keep trying, and eventually, you will get it right.

[@jfox11000]

I’m 65 and still being helicopter parented by my 88 year old mom and 89 year old dad , they still have to watch me cook when I make food on the stove to make sure I don’t start a fire

[@bigbay1159]

Okay so you never learned how to stand up for yourself and place healthy boundaries

[@Beanssss_]

@@bigbay1159 agreed

[@powerinknowledge2392]

Parents seem to forget kids are humans too, they arent mindless zombies, but when parents treat them so they will act like it.

[@MrsJohnsonListing]

An entire generation of adults is already ruined- millenials. We are the children of the last leg of baby boomers. And their insistance on babying us as children so we would never rise up on our own as adults and essentially replace them- much like they did to their own parents- was a planned move. It was poorly planned. As what they expected was a dull, placated mass of adults incapable of replacing them. Instead, they made self-absorbed and stubborn children who were also simultaneously left to our own devices growing up- as those childish whims didn't really clash with late boomers' lives. But that left a gap in a lot of previously uncharted *social* territory. We were left alone by our parents, bonding more with our own generation, basically creating and clinging to the echo chamber idea. And now that we actually are the fully grown adult generation- the oldest millenials now being just a few years shy of age 40- the boomers finally want to get involved. But we're not the little kids they could just shove off with toys. And our lack of proper parenting has left us independent only in thought, therefore making us painfully stubborn to the point of inflexibilty. We don't want to hear that our hyper attention to modern social politics are actually as toxic as the percieved toxicity in the social politics of past generations. We don't want to hear that maybe we need to come together with previous generations and deliberately set aside our own feelings and personal identities for the sake of actual equality. And we don't want to hear it because our own parents didn't cultivate that understanding for us when we were younger and did actually need direction.

[@sophiadavenport3959]

It depends on the child's ambition to develop skills to become independent my mother was a helicopter parent she forbidden me to wash on her washing machine but eventually my older sibling helped me learn how to wash.

[@Maria_Svetlana8847]

Helicopter parents ruin their own kids ...

[@johnnyrocketz7808]

My sister grew up like this. She is now 21, she can’t do shit and she acts like my mom bc of this.

[@N.M127]

My mom doesnt let me do anything i cant even go for a walk she gets mad at me just bc i dont know what i wanna become and all she does is compare me to my other cousins insult me telling me that im a failure and that theres no hope left she thinks ill get raped when i step out the house alone and its not even night time im sick and tired of her oppressing and tormenting me she even hates my interests and called me a junkie,drug addict etc just bc i hear metal music

[@rgonzalo511]

Damn I'm so sorry. How old are you btw you could try leaving

[@N.M127]

@@rgonzalo511 16 just 2 more years fa me mate

[@sys9208]

Helicopter parents destroy your potential.

[@nataleeisjustchilling2737]

I knew someone who had a helicopter dad (she was a junior in high school just for reference), her dad wouldn’t let her walk to the bus stop which was super close to her house so the bus had to pick her up in front of her house, this was all because she got off at the wrong bus stop one day and she found her way home easily but I guess her dad is paranoid as heck, she wasn’t allowed internet access and apparently her dad checked her school chrome book to see if she used it for anything other than school work like listening to music or something, I never saw her go outside her house once and it didn’t look like they owned any bikes or outdoor stuff in general, she also said stuff that was just a bit concerning in general like having to sleep on a broken bed because her dad broke it and he wouldn’t let her throw the bed frame away so she had to hold it up with legos, also she wasn’t allowed to have pictures took of herself so every time in the lunchroom when students were recording themselves around her she would go up to them and basically harass them to make sure she wasn’t in the picture, one last thing is that she said her dad isn’t ever gonna let her move out and that he wants her to live with him until the day he dies, she’s moved away since then and she’s a senior in high school now so I hope things are going well for her

[@nataleeisjustchilling2737]

@@Divan000 I’m pretty sure she told me her mom was in jail for trying to kidnap her, idk she’s in college now and even lives on campus so at least her dad let her move out, she probably exaggerated things too

[@pizzachu2281]

As an avid gamer i've heard of multiple stories of helicopter parents. They can and will snowflake their kid to blame a company for a bruise

[@reesecordova5106]

And then they get mad that you don't know how to do the stuff they were supposed to teach you how to do

[@jimmydunne7399]

Parents who spank their children are teaching their children to hit. All parents should pledge to never hit, slap or spank their children. Talk to them with respect and with love. Whipping children with paddles, belts, branches or any other device is "child abuse" and you should be arrested. These beatings leave big bruises. See my Facebook page "School Paddling is Child Abuse." Dallas Morning News reported that beatings of children still go on in rural North Texas schools. 31 states have banned school corporal punishment but 19 including Texas still allow it.

[@MyNguyen-gv2ip]

even if you hit them slightly it isn't about not leaving bruises on them it's you driving them away and you'll probably start hitting harder everytime

[@jimmydunne7399]

@@MyNguyen-gv2ip Parents are role models for their children's behavior. When they yell, curse or call names, they are teaching their children to do the same. Treat your children with love and respect.

[@square5726]

Depends what the child have done. Example if my kids had become bully’s, drug seller or worse. I probably think it’s ok to gave a beating.

[@apollodavis4090]

My mom: I'll do everything for you! My dad: They'll grow by themselves I don't even have to look

[@andrewfreiji4647]

I honestly believe this is one of the biggest reasons there are so many guys of my generation that stay virgins and that can't find any women because their mothers raised them into being the very kinds of guys that their younger selves would never be with, yet somehow expect that their sons will automatically find someone. Overprotective parenting isn't healthy but it is especially detrimental for sons. One of the worst things you can do to your son is to be overprotective.

[@jrdhooopsxd3151]

I don't know why I cried as a guy while reading your comment, I am already 19 and still processing emotions because of my helicopter Asian parents. What makes it even hard is, at this age is pressuring me to make adult life changes which is also one of the reasons none of the girls had taken a like on me. Never really felt real love from anyone, because in the end they are just a backstabbing people gossip toxicity about who I am.

[@mustasheolll2020]

​@@jrdhooopsxd3151 This is just my opinion, but I don't like Helicopter or Asian style parenting, that's my least favorite kind of parenting.

[@jrdhooopsxd3151]

@@mustasheolll2020 You don't get to choose parents, it's inevitable. But I hope I can just avoid my parents for the time being just for the sake of healing my mental health

[@genzi78514]

​@@jrdhooopsxd3151if this help you, I felt the same when I was your age. I'm a happy adult nowadays, and I was a very happy one since my 25's. It's hard work, but it's worth it. Be honest with yourself and others and don't get bitter, just because stuff are not working right now. If you keep going, it's more probably that it will go better.

[@tryanything5473]

The road of Hell is paved with good intentions! Period!!

[@youtubetimecapsul7491]

Soon to be parent here✋🏻Being a helicopter is one of the worst things you can do to your child. I’m personally prefer the latchkey model. Minus the not being there. What I mean is teaching them things at 14 how to use the bus and know addresses ect. If they make mistakes then teach them how to fix it.

[@comentadoraification]

Stop arguing with teachers. Instead learn them how to do better, how to sustain frustration and how to get up and to go forward after a failure. Nowadays parents don’t do that anymore, spoil kids, bully teachers who end up resigning and we are raising a new generation of narcissistic people unable to create a family, to maintain professional and personal relationships, unable to face all the obstacles in life. When you can’t do it what do you do ? Well you end up taking alcohol, coke, violent behavior. Etc etc as parents we mustn’t forget that we are supposed to pass away before our children so our purpose is their autonomy and not our control.

[@SirSculy]

My mother always watchs over my shoulder i can't do one thing with out her telling me what to do im 18 years old btw with no drivers license or even a job i have a daughter amd gf amd haven't seen my daughter in a whole month cause of my mother constily forving me to do what she wants and do it the way she wants .....

[@bigbay1159]

Hate me for this or not, don't care...but grow a fucking pair...you have a child now...it won't be easy to leave but you need to do whatever it takes for your child....

[@abborunda]

My mom never really cared about my grades, well I mean she was proud of me for being an AP student, but she would never be the kinda mom to go argue with the teacher about my grade.

[@PyroNinja713]

Yeah, as a first child I had some pretty strict helicoptery parents that probably sheltered me and my brother way too much as children. Now we both live completely separate, isolated lives, mostly in front of screens, where neither of us talks to hardly anyone ever (including family) and we (probably) have fairly serious undiagnosed mental health problems like depression and social anxiety. Fortunately they seemed to learn from their mistakes with us, so at least our younger sisters got relatively normal childhoods and seem to have developed into regular functional adults.

[@sta._rina]

Im in 8th grade. Some of my peers say they still have their parents wash their clothes and pack their lunches and stuff for them. It baffles me. Of course i rely on my mom alot in the mornings but i'm able to prepare everything myself if need be. And ive been washing my own clothes since like, grade 3

[@mustasheolll2020]

Good 4 you, you can learn this stuff when u older. But something like doing your child’s homework is child abuse and will Psychologically harm them.

[@mustasheolll2020]

@@MisanthropeAntelope15 It’s not that hard to learn how to do this stuff when your older, I’m almost 20 and I’m fine ok.

[@Beanssss_]

My parents packed my lunch for me since I was too exhausted to do it myself because school literally is super unhealthy and drains you of your energy.

[@sta._rina]

@@Beanssss_ oh no, for sure. this comment is a yr old and i have my mom do lunch in the mornings while i get ready. school is.... exhausting, to say the least.

[@kvdwg5530]

My mother is a complete control freak over my siblings and my life. She controlled my social life during school and didn't let me have sleepovers until 10th grade. She made me feel inadequate in school when I didn't get great grades and persuaded me to go to college (dropped out after 2 years) even when I was a terrible student in highschool... Now I have 0 self-esteem and feel like a complete failure most days, and I probably couldn't survive alone at 21 without my parents' assistance. It's rough, parents need to give their children independence.

[@anabanana3857]

I sometimes wonder about how previous generations (like me, Gen X) had at least one parent mandated to be in the military. How that affects parenting?? Lol. My father was in the marines. We were expected to get over fears, take risks, and he’s wake us up at like 6 ripping the covers off and singing that good morning horn song. But seriously….I think that changed people.

[@bigbay1159]

I mean that's just a anecdotal experience. Plenty...and I mean plenty of abuse from military parents who could never turn it off and also problems of being helicopter parents. It's all context and case by case, each person is their own independent being.... I'm a marine myself, and that has no bearing on if someone will be a good parent. Sadly some good amount of military parents also confuse beatings with regular punishments

[@TheHollandHS]

Helicopter parents is why you start dating with age gaps like a nervous inexperienced teenager. And society calls you a fucked up creep despite you both being above 18+. I feel i have to hide a number for society after what parents did to me. Well age is a number right ?