The Pygmalion Effect

[@sprouts]

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[@ПОКОРИТЕЛЬПОКОРИТЕЛЬ-р7ь]

I want pizza

[@UwU_StudyMaker]

it's strange, when people don't believe in me I don't get depressed, but start working more and more to improve the relationship at least a little bit

[@Cormac_YT]

The people who were expected to do well were nurtured to do well and the people who were expected to do badly were developed to fulfill those expectations

[@Jy-xq2ew]

I don't nurture is the right word... Groomed perhaps.

[@ninja.training.6197]

Sometimes it goes the other way around

[@sandroadler3607]

That's crazy, and even today schools work like that They for shure don't want all of us to be smart and intelligent. You need some dumb people, because without those there wouldn't be smart ones

[@wariocart35]

Right up until imposter syndrome takes hold

[@smokeyjoe6059]

@@Jy-xq2ew Conditioned.

[@stellar_nathy6679]

This reminds me how EVERY SCHOOL YEAR, a teacher would say how we were "the worst behaved classroom" and from that point things only got worse and more dramatic

[@DimoB8]

This does happen to my class to, while I was in the 10th grade , the older students were worse (at the point of throwing a door at a teecher, yes a whole door). But because we were loud we were "one of the worst classes that ever passed through this school". And this is why our new literature teacher treated every one of our class like shit because "she heard the rumors" . She single handedly murdered my average.

[@bilguunchuluun3685]

Our class was the same also but at the end of 9th grade, there is a bunch of exams that determines if u make into the next grade or not. Supposedly all the bad kids didn't make it and one of the teachers started a rumor that our class got way better and now they don't view us as that bad. Even though our class was almost the same as last year

[@alegria1813]

Lmao I'm always in the worst class.

[@mochuyy]

I honestly hate my math teacher. She'll say "We've been learning this for so long! How come you can't remember this?" Or "You should all get 100%" And when she sees a student that doesn't get it after a while (that she doesn't like) she'll tell them, except in an angry tone. This is basically why I never ask for help :/

[@alegria1813]

@@mochuyy mine is exactly the same wtf

[@angelinebena9675]

That’s why good teachers are important. They literally change people’s lives

[@junsjulywonpilsyonpilchany5241]

Speaking from experience, yess!!

[@aarymantimalsina6148]

Ikr

[@stop4683]

absolutely. i had average teachers until my freshman year of high school where i had the best teacher in my life. encouraged and inspired me so much in school and outside of school & completely changed who i am. also made me actually care about a class that i otherwise wouldnt have cared about

[@charlesozuna8763]

And bad teachers can ruin your motivation to pursue something, speaking from experience, I hate band and jazz now

[@algorix8420]

@@charlesozuna8763 nooo, jazz is great

[@raimahossain2174]

This is interesting. I remember back in college I was tutoring some kids in high school in math, where some would get their work done asap while others I couldn't get to solve a single problem. Eventually, instead of giving up or getting frustrated on the few that acted like they just cant do it, I started to communicate with them more often, ask them questions that I knew they'd know how to answer and give them a little praise each time they were able to answer or they tried to, as though they just know how to solve the problems themselves, they just needed to believe and dig deeper. From there you keep applying it to slightly more difficult problems, give them a lil praise each time they try a bit harder especially when they might fail and now you have a child that actually wants to solve the problems and seems to be kind of enjoying it too. All because you had faith in them and helped them see that they can! It's amazing. Remember to praise the effort, not the outcome.

[@sprouts]

We need teachers like you!!!

[@richsackett3423]

Yup. There are no bad dogs.

[@MoniiChanTheUnicorn]

You sound like a wonderful teacher, this is why I was always bad at maths in school and have always been a 'creative' type, yet as an adult I work in STEM as a Software Engineer and I absolutely love it!

[@bernardkung7306]

@@karlwithak. Let me guess... You don't believe you're influenced by advertising and marketing, either.

[@jdelacruz14791]

@@karlwithak. Research from over 50 years ago is unreliable because of how poorly misunderstood psychology was at the time. Length of time isn't an indicator of how reliable something is. In fact, it's quite the opposite. When it comes to these topics, more recent findings tend to be more reliable than findings from over 50 years ago

[@skeg8599]

All of my teachers told me I was shy and I believed them, until one day a teacher said I wasn't shy, I'm just quietly confident. That changed everything for me and I started believing in myself.

[@borko8325]

AWWWWW

[@FingerinUrDaughter]

thats fucking pathetic. why would you place so much value on random people who dont matter? all they are are people with a job. do you hear the 7-11 employee say something mean about you, and start thinking that its true?

[@skeg8599]

@@FingerinUrDaughter wow that's so true. What kind of stupid little kid believes what their teacher says. We can't all pop out the womb as enlightened as you :(

[@Proxyy7]

@@FingerinUrDaughter Lol, you're a scumbag.

[@karkatvantass3730]

@@FingerinUrDaughter God it's almost like kids are impressionable what lmao

[@ataman8616]

From a little different perspective. I was taught a sequence by my uncle: "If you call someone a monster and repeat it every day, he will become one"

[@Lthe1]

I like that a lot. Imma have to write that down

[@ndinzuzu9236]

My parents say the same thing and then call me a stupid bitch

[@opusmagnum9916]

haklısın kardeşşşim

[@gamemations5066]

mine too

[@ShahidAli-wp3dv]

so if you call me handsome and repeat it everyday, i will become handsome

[@RelativelyBest]

Basically: Confidence has a _huge_ effect on performance, and your confidence is heavily influenced by people whose opinions you respect.

[@tankofnova9022]

@ANNABELL CANNON *bad* parents:

[@sleepingcinderella]

Unfortunately

[@ruchamansukh1203]

@ANNABELL CANNON :(

[@fleecemaster]

Doesn't have to people you respect, anyone with authority or influence over you

[@KushagraaDubeyy]

But more than that it shouldn’t ultimately depend on others or external validation too much otherwise one becomes a puppet controlled by this person or that circumstance etc. True confidence should always stem from within !

[@teauxni93]

"...is there a way to prevent ourselves from being shaped by others in a negative way?" Yes! Spite...

[@inu4825]

JAJAHSHAHtrue

[@jaideepshekhar4621]

Absolutely true! 🔥

[@darko-ages1257]

spite and sheer fucking will!

[@arynkauble7215]

That’s exactly what my mom did. I was born with autism and told I’d always be in the gifted (not in a good way) classes. I didn’t start talking until I was 5 and couldn’t read until 7 but my mom always told me not to worry about it and I had the same potential as everyone else. She’s sit down and read with me and help me learn. She’s encourage everything I liked including cooking, trains, certain books, art, crafting (towers out of toothpicks, etc.) my favorite was building stuff out ofntoothpicks. Even before I believed I was gifted in a good way or advanced my mom always told me I was to her. Now I’m graduating with two associates degrees for interior architecture and science before I graduate highschool thanks to a program I get to take. Thank you for everything mom ❤️

[@mikewoodson6930]

You have an amazing Mom. I believe you will continue to see more and more just how special your Mother is, in regard to raising you and all the encouragement. This is hard work for any parent. Your Mother loves you very much.

[@dth3252]

You sound a lot like my son! Your story is very encouraging.

[@Lisa04W]

EPIC!! so incredible and inspiring

[@chrisjoosten9819]

Good stuff, bud.

[@riddhibiswas6508]

Am so happy for you! And your mom is an amazing person!!

[@sdrice2007]

As an educator, I've seen this over and over. I wholeheartedly believe in this. I do my best to approach each class as a room full of young geniuses.

[@SevScout]

Hmm. What you should be actually doing, is to try and see the value/enjoyment of motivating even those, who are (even if only in your mind) behind the rest of the class. Seeing every child as a genius will put unwarrented stress on those, who are simply lacking. Motivating them to do their best, even pushing them to their limits is what should be preferable, since that will teach them their own limits and will harden them enough, so that they will be able to withstand far more rigorous educations than they would. This goes for the gifted ones as well. Teach them to know themselves. Don't teach them to be full of themselves. Please. You'd not only do the kids a giant favor, but the whole world.

[@cranjismcbasketball4754]

Damn is your last name really rice?

[@cappuccinocoffee9734]

I thank and highly appreciate teachers like you. I was a student with a low self-esteem at the start of my freshman year. My maths teacher saw something in me. She slowly developed me and helped me grow, and become what I am today; a straight A student. *Thx for the 18 likes haha.

[@AlthafShameelPP]

All the best sir. I too wanna be the same 😊

[@bnashtay2278]

Be my teacher! I wish everyone could see me as an intellectual...

[@piliana12]

A teacher told me I was slow at learning and understanding and I believed her, and when I finally met a teacher that showed me otherwise, I had the highest grades ever in my life

[@runpigrun]

You’re not supposed to end sentences with prepositional phrases

[@littlefishbigmountain]

@@runpigrun Why? We don’t speak classical Latin, which is where that rule was forced onto English from. As Winston Churchill said (ironically) about that claim, “This is the sort of English up with which I will not put!”

[@alextheconfuddled8983]

@@runpigrun Its not a sentence, it doesn't end in punctuation.

[@daanav3682]

Same

[@AydenRose04]

@@runpigrun they got their point across so it’s fine Plus you didn’t use punctuation so why are you bothering them about their grammar

[@teramir4302]

This is actually a very scary and yet tragic phenomenon. in short, society pushes the individual down the path it considers to be appropriate for them. be it a serial murderer, or a successful celebrity.

[@narrow3601]

That's actually an interesting view on this phenomena

[@PHanomaly]

It's important for everyone to be aware and give kids and adults, an unprovoked compliment, tell them you believe in them, that can succeed, that they deserve to live a great life, any extra positive thing. They deserve it and it works!

[@MichaelC-to7uz]

Either way it's up to you as an individual😊

[@eggrobo]

Except not everyone is gonna act according to society's dance. Some of us do our own thing and be happy with who we are.

[@burningbronze7555]

@@eggrobo true but most do not which is the problem

[@ew1852]

Makes you wonder how much talent has been wasted over the years due to teachers/parents etc not knowing how to nourish it!

[@nurysieve2185]

agree

[@heartache5742]

TALENT ISN'T REAL

[@theinvincibles764]

Alexey Stolovoy tell that to my 2 year old son who already knows thermodynamics and theory of relativity

[@kamehameha2291]

Teachers suck cuz they dont motivate people ;"(

[@MrEysox]

@@theinvincibles764 he just gives his best

[@AB-ur9rq]

"Whether you think you can or you can't, either way you are right." - Henry Ford

[@eddy4470]

But what does that mean?

[@josinelafontaine4939]

Except, the lesson here is: other people can control how you think about yourself (or, if they don't, it doesn't matter because you'll fail, even if you think you're awesome)

[@AB-ur9rq]

Josine Lafontaine True, but it is also a cycle. If I let other people's perceptions of me influence me so much that I begin to believe in them more than in my own perception of me, I would gradually prove them correct.

[@nofybn7794]

Some think they can and they can't.

[@Cortanasboyfriend]

Always hated that quote cause it’s sort of a hard to swallow pill

[@n0426]

That’s why good parenting is important.

[@kellyv6075]

Spot on!

[@bugeye8749]

It’s crucial

[@Gemoycana]

Exactly, i have a very very negative mother who always bring me down, and NEVER support me to reach my dream, she always said all those negative things, bad words and made everythings become harder for me, even my mother always insulting me all the time, thats why no matter how hard I try, I always failed, I wish my mother will gone, so I can enjoy my life and reach my dream, you cant imagine the amount of negativity she brings everyday, my morther always oppres me to the limit I cant handdle, I feel worthless everyday, everytime my mother open her mouth, I feel worthless, its begin since I was a kid, I dont know what should I do, im so sad

[@seakalix4297]

Hanna, the saddest part - at least to me - is that your mom was probably treated by her mom in the same way, and her mom probably treated her the same way and it goes back generations of women treating their daughters abusively. My mom was a controling, negative person too. Even when I grew up and moved out she was the same. Thank goodness when she died! But when she died she left my brother her house - because he was the one that never got married, never moved out, she chased away any girl interested in him. Kept him on drugs, cooked his meals. And you know what, karma got him because in 2014 a tree fell on that house during a hurricane and he didn't have enough homeowners insurance on it to rebuild it so he had to move, lol! I hope you can find your path!

[@gutenman7112]

@@Gemoycana I hope you will breal.the cycle , I know it will be hard even if you are concious of it , my father teaches me to abuse animal and expected me as a useless dumb child, im always angry of th , of me and everything because of how I learned from them , morever im concious in all of this .

[@caravanlifenz]

My mother always had so many mental issues when I was a child, so I always stayed quiet and listened to all her problems. Consequently, she said I was the 'good, quiet' one. In adulthood, I took a psychology class and realised she was a manipulative bully and a narcissist, so I stopped going along with everything she said. Suddenly, I was demonised as the difficult, selfish one. It's amazing how you're 'good' when you go along with everything they want, and 'bad' when you say no to manipulative lies.

[@Popomehappy]

I know that all too well I am afraid

[@OkokokRosepetal]

tbh my mom isn't bad, but she always takes out all her life's frustrations out on me, she keeps demotivating me, she keeps scolding me, she always points out my mistakes, and even if she pointed them out positively, i would have improved myself, but no, she pointed out my mistakes and kept shouting YOU ARE SUCH A FOOL, YOU CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING, WHEN WILL YOU EVER GROW UP, YOU HAVE MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE,JUST GO AWAY I DONT NEED YOUR HELP she even says all this even when i offer her help and don't do any mistake, her words hurt alot, and even tho at that time shes in a bad mood and has her own struggles, but why do i have to be punished for HER STRUGGLES, HER BAD MOOD, because of her i have started becoming so insecure and don't feel confident, i feel anxious, i feel like i should just give up trying to please her(pleasing parents, of course upto a certain limit, is obligatory in my religion) because i feel like she'll never be pleased with what i do, she'll never really appreciate me, tbh she is nice sometimes and does appreciate me when shes in a good mood(once every 2-3 days) i know she cares about me, but the thing is, she never understands me, she never understands how i feel, she never understands how her words actually impact me. I know she went through alot but I'm not the one who made her go through all that, so why do i have to suffer just because she's suffering, and why do i have to put up with her scolds when i don't even do a mistake.. i talked about it to my grandmother, she did agree with me but she said to be tolerant with my mom and try to please my mom because my mom has suffered alot and she needs help, but honestly, why do i have to suffer just because she did?

[@afroking2935]

​@@OkokokRosepetalIt's sad and I love how you were able to articulate your emotions. I can relate in some ways with what you've written.

[@OkokokRosepetal]

@@afroking2935 yeah, to be very honest, whenever she's in a good mood, she's super sweet, and she also works really hard for us, i feel like her good side makes up for her angry side, she's wayyyyy better than most moms ive seen, sometimes i do talk to her about her words hurting me and she apologized, just yesterday when she was scolding me, she did feel bad and hugged me and apologized, she's a really nice person, and tbh i wouldn't say its her fault for being rude sometimes, when a person works alot and has so much stress, they tend to take it out on others unintentionally hurting them, my mom is a good mom, she just sometimes need to calm down, Ive heard a quote and i think its relatable for her "If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on those who didn't cut you" She loves me alot and so do i- Idk if i overreacted a bit in my previous reply lol-i was just feeling kinda depressed that day- (not necessarily just bcz of her)

[@OkokokRosepetal]

@@afroking2935 and she does care about, she points out my mistakes and errors just so i would improve, i know her way of teaching them may be rude and wrong, but her intentions are nice, i hope she'll gradually learn to be more positive when teaching stuff.. Also, another thing is that she really cares... Tomorrow we have an occasion, Eid, and we're gonna have guests over, i barely helped in the household chores(i did intend to-but i got lazyy), she did all the work by herself, nobody helped her, not even my siblings, and we all have to wake up at 7AM tomorrow, yet she's still working (its 5 AM here rn) I'm about to sleep cuz she was really worried abt me, she kept telling me to go to sleep otherwise i won't wake up on time, while she's planning to stay awake for the night and work and keep up with the preparations, i told her to sleep but she said "don't worry about me, you go sleep, I'll sleep tomorrow night" She's really caring and its not the first she's sacrificing her comfort and sleep for our comfort, she's been working,cooking etc from the morning and is still working now.. (Btw she's a housewife and an artist too but barely gets free time so its very rare for her to paint) Also not to mention, that many comments here complaining abt parents(im not on parents side, just saying) are only telling abt the wrong things the parents did to them, just to let you know, there are lot of good parents out there and their kids are very cruel... Just saying that everyone has their own flaws and goods, you can't judge someone's parents to be 'abusive' just based on the kids point of view, it could be that the kid is more evil and abuses paremts more than they abuse the kid, but of course here in the comments, nobody will tell about their OWN flaws.. And to be fair, i do get lazy most of the time, its once in a blue moon when i actually work and help her alottt... And i do offer her help, but she either doesn't accept it or just takes little help, and she does scold me Sometimes, and sometimes her scolds do help me be more productive But honestly, when it comes to parenting in general, alot of kids are biased that they themselves are abused and parents are evil regardless of their own pros and cons, and alot of kids have a hard time accepting the fact thatt "not all scolds/beatings are abuse and not all sweetness and spoiling is good" Also i mentioned beating, i don't really support abuse, scolding or beating, but sometimes, in rare situations, it does happen that the kid, in my opinion, should be beaten(not too much tho), every parent has their own ways of teaching, and every kid has their own ways of learning, i know actual kids irl that cannot be handled with peace, they leave no option for the parents other than beating..

[@snookiewozo]

More appreciation -> more motivation -> more time spent -> more skill. Simple as that.

[@j0e3o77]

There is a way to break this: Self-motivation despite what people may believe, and you prove them wrong by your own skill and belief in yourself.

[@SapienSafari]

Exactly and the cycle restarts.

[@l3layze]

Sneaky Weasel this has been blatantly obvious to me for years when I managed a store. I’m only bringing it up because I’m not a manager anymore and my current managers treat everyone like Joe. They don’t see a problem but we have been trying to communicate for several months now.

[@ShadowPhoenix82]

That's probably how it works for normal people.

[@123456789santia]

@@ShadowPhoenix82 Yeah, because success have a lot of alternatives than 3/4 forms of improve skills.

[@joeyv2083]

This should be such a focus for parenting, schooling, and any place of employment... this would teach real leadership

[@dukeleeroy1394]

Absolutely, leadership is the key word!

[@dnegel9546]

I dkn.. I work with some real shitbags. 😂

[@dblack8141]

anyone who behaves like this should get their boomer shots.

[@Jy-xq2ew]

Well in an ideal world yes... But it should only go as far as home..(parenting)... The school or the workforce has no incentive to encourage their students or staff.. This is the nature of a competitive world... If your not fit for the job, someone else can step up... If your not the ideal student,... Well there are consequences for being average or below..

[@dblack8141]

@@dnegel9546 like jay

[@muyhiram]

This is why good looks often lead to success.

[@erza_scarletxjellal]

Same 🙃

[@VikeingBlade]

That's an insightful observation ngl. I wonder how this idea could be used for good

[@RedFloyd469]

And more importantly, why less attractive people get worse jobs, are treated worse, have less self-esteem, perform worse in tests, are less motivated and are regarded as worse human beings in terms of morality. The latter is only reinforced by hollywood cliches connecting morally bad behavior with ugliness, and virtuous behavior with beauty.

[@galacticlavalamp6338]

I hate when I heard that. Especially since I know it might be true. But you can’t just be beautiful, you have to actually be good at what you do.

[@VikeingBlade]

@@galacticlavalamp6338 This is true. The thing is just that people with good looks often get seen as better because of it (more charisma), meaning that they're trusted with bigger jobs, larger opportunities, etc. But what really wins out in the end is your ability, not how good people's initial opinions of you are

[@ThatiLeRosa]

This is great. I come from a schooling system that placed students in “A”, “B” and “Bottom”(or what they would refer to as “mixed”) set classes, the A class only got so much better. B remained consistent. Bottom class students dropped maths and tended to give a “I don’t care” “I’m barely even trying” attitude. Always didn’t like this system. Interesting to see how this video strengthens my belief

[@Gardor]

thats horrible

[@BetterDays2004]

My school did this too

[@ThatiLeRosa]

horrible horrible system @@BetterDays2004

[@99fulgur]

This is what happening in the schools for decades

[@GamingwithHarsh]

Sometimes the students don't do good in exams cause of their own fault rather than the teacher and this video gives them another excuse why they didn't study.

[@Hargazer]

Gaming with Thanos The video portrays well that a child that wouldn't be discouraged so much would be more inclined to work harder anyways. This video is about how our expectations of others can influence other people's success or failure. It's about shaping other people's behavior. Perhaps you should watch the video with a bit more attention this time.

[@literallyasuka2996]

Wtf is Mona Lisa holding in your profile picture

[@99fulgur]

@@literallyasuka2996 Uh just some broccolis officer

[@unnamed715]

@@GamingwithHarsh "No such thing bad student. Only bad teacher." -Mr. Miyagi The Karate Kid

[@sare8835]

Do not forget that this is a circle. Yes, other people’s opinions of you may impact you, but your opinion about yourself can impact the way other people view you, which in turn will continue to impact you. You always have a hand and a say in your own life. Make yourself the beginning of the circle.

[@mr.annihilazor8637]

Thanx

[@ok8077]

This is a strong message Grape🍇

[@blackatom4957]

@@ok8077 I will join Pakistan army and destroy India....Wow 🍇

[@hankhill6850]

Be the one to pick up the napkin first

[@akankshasharma943]

This is the best message we can give to someone... Before looking after someone.. look for yourself love yourself

[@lillianpark90]

This is why as a teacher it’s so important to believe in all of your students.

[@SourthernerPilgrim]

well if teacher paid more than some bullshit celebirity... maybe they will..

[@CarlosCosta-gp4dv]

Its hard when some of them don't give a fuck about studies, and they're not shy to clearly demonstrate that

[@SmartDumbNerdyCool]

They play favourites

[@Tenchi707]

Well then there would be no motivation to become better, if a teacher motivate a good player and a bad player the same way that would be weird, he can only tell the bad player to become better which they do all the time

[@stopworrying8850]

​@@Tenchi707 Falls

[@aguspuig6615]

I remember having a biology teacher that had negative expectations about me for no aprent reason. To the point were she would ask a question, i would raise my hand to answer, and she would not notice, on a room that was like 10 feet by 10 feet with ten people in it. And she wasnt just maliciously ignoring me, my classmates had to point out that i had my hand raised and she was genuenly surprised she didnt see me, but this happened repeatedly. The way she treated me was so confidence destroying that i doubted everything in tests, biology became so hard for me, the only subject i had to study many days for an exam to only fail, that the next year i changed it for another subject and got better grades despite missing a whole previous year of teachings.

[@sunsuna972]

I’ve had teachers like this. I was always told I was bad in maths so I believed them and in high school, one of my teacher tells me “wow, you’re one of the few students I have who understand maths to it’s core. you don’t memorize the outcome.” And that’s when I realized that those teacher who told me I was bad in maths meant that I was bad in understanding their method, which was basically making us memorize the whole step. I come from a country where memorization plays a very big role in education. I do understand that it is important but it’s not a guaranteed learning system.

[@shouryabarman4891]

​@@sunsuna972 Relatable..The Indian Education is also like that.. And which country do you belong to?

[@golapioraon6021]

After seeing this, whenever someone tries to bring me down and I feel discouraged, me in my mind:"It's just the Pygmalion effect! It's just the Pygmalion effect! "

[@cookiesyruplover]

Their words have no power over you!

[@marshmallowmann20]

but maybe you're just bad ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@jerenovvidimy7605]

Maybe not, but it sure helps you to have a more positive outlook for sure

[@thatguythere6161]

Good use of the placebo effect.

[@Heberhtcito]

Maybe you just suck dude

[@tryingtopickagoodusername9598]

"Treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, he will become what he should be" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

[@dededethesuperstarwarrior]

Nice.

[@maki4947]

Nice

[@neptune1810]

Nice

[@exoticcats6119]

Nice

[@UwU-yd4vc]

Nice

[@TheOtakuPrince]

As a taoist would like to say: Never let yourself become a prisoner of others expectations and opinions. Know yourself. Be yourself.

[@thinkingmachine354]

Boxspite but how exactly? Where does “one self” begin and end?

[@PengyDraws]

Well, I guess I should go toss myself in the trash can then!

[@LIFEwithBAVAN]

This has become tainted advice nowadays with an egotistical, grass is always greener societal mentality.

[@TheOtakuPrince]

@@thinkingmachine354 Thats for you to find out. Some defines themselves as they are what they are. Others think the full extent of their body and mind, all of it, is him. And there can be many interpretations of oneself. All of it could be true and all of it could be wrong. There is no correct answer, only an insight. Where does it end and where does it start? I dont know. It might be that you are the whole universe, or it might be that you are a part of, or maybe, it might be your nothing but a spec of dust in the grand scale of things. Thats why we look at it, we ask what we are. Define yourself and dont worry if its the wrong answer. There is no complete and universal standard for who and what a person really is. I think people define oneself to get close to completely defining who they are. And what get from it becomes knowledge of oneself which becomes the basis for how should you act. Well, I have talked too much. Sorry about that. To be honest, I dont know. All I have said above are nothing more but my perspective of the world and myself.

[@TheOtakuPrince]

@@LIFEwithBAVAN Yeah I agree. Know oneself, Be thy self. It has become so over used that its meaning has been twisted and has been used to misled others into becoming what others want them to be. They say know oneself, be thy self, but none says or ask the question of what is the self and in the end, either by intention or by accident, the people who asked the question provides one with the answer by injecting their worldview upon them, causing one to believe it is the right answer. Once it becomes the answer, it becomes a basis for they will become. An example is a celebrity using herself as an example for an answer for the question of know oneself which some people will see it and interpret it as the right answer, making more people mimicking him or her, no matter the circumstances that exists in their environment might be. Well I guess this is nothing more but finger pointing. But thats is how I see the world. How about yours people?

[@dvdmethod2]

Sometimes it's scary how youtube shows you the exact video you need to see. Thx for the content.

[@socosoul8294]

A moment of silence for all those who were in the same situation as Joe

[@_zet_zet_]

joe lean

[@shiinozaki]

Original Creator Who’s joe?

[@kristina4116]

Konno joe mama

[@N4m3el35]

@@kristina4116 xD

[@lidijaaleksoska5559]

@@kristina4116 Ah, I remember! Joe Mama was that fat guy.

[@tyborg314]

The way to prevent the opinions of others from shaping you, is to believe in yourself.. You, literally, can do the Pygmalion effect on yourself.

[@jewelz.a]

exactly!

[@kingsnowy3037]

I believe that I can believe in myself. And I believe I can do that. AAAAH! Feedback loop! I'm going to go recreate Middle-Earth at a 1:1 scale on Venus. Then I'm going to write an AI that enslaves humanity for me, after which I will enslave the AI and force him to make me a fleet of Borg ships, which I will just blow up for fireworks. Then I'm going to create immortality, and travel back in time to the start all this, and fight myself to the death!

[@whiteymamasan4138]

Your racist and a Nazi

[@nessg1043]

Hmmmm....I'll try it

[@biterness2323]

That can also make you a vastly delusional person though if you cant match the expectarions you inflicted on yourself

[@DVSS77]

Let me guess, this was in your recommendations?

[@9nineofdiamonds]

Yeap and I don't even know how and why?

[@arnavgautam319]

YESSSS!!

[@shadodovahkiin3951]

Yeaap

[@chisquare5501]

Yes, it was

[@NDGB]

Let me guess, this was on you recommendations too.

[@bentoeduardo1770]

3:52 Yes, if u dont care about others opinions u cant be molded by them...

[@nawal10]

I’m a teacher and this was very helpful..I already try my best to treat my students equally and motivate them all, even the class clowns

[@sourpuss5951]

... Have any of those students found your KZbin channel?

[@parthsharma7091]

your class kids are lucky to have a teacher like you. i wish i had the same then i would have been much better

[@buffalosaucemakesmytoescur4171]

nawal10 I had a teacher who sounds exactly like you and she was the reason I started to like school. I’ve been told my whole life I’m the dumb one, but she had faith in me and I started to get better grades. I ended up getting into an honors class! It just shows how much teachers like you make a difference! 🙏💞

[@shiBuyaking109]

Yeah glad you are willing to better yourself could you be my teacher lol JK 😘

[@madlad4687]

Beeing funny is a skill

[@quandrellhendricks]

*Ok but I’m just showing appreciation to the Artist who drew this*

[@leoelliondeux]

*cool story bro*

[@TL5official]

It's just templates from a whiteboard software. Anybody can make this.

[@22geo6]

I wish there was a real dislike button😂

[@stopstaringandsubscribe5189]

@@TL5official he means that the drawing sucks ... and if he complements the drawer it'll get better

[@natsukilovestobake4427]

1000,000 subscriber with some vids challenge Oh okay no wonder most of the replies are kind of negative! I was taking the comment literally and thought that was a genuine compliment so thank you for explaining that!

[@Clemingtime]

One of my teachers back in high school was a former sorority girl and she favored the popular kids and would pander to them. They could insult her to her face, make fun of her height and family, etc. and she'd take it/laugh it off. But I, a weird kid, snuck a peek at my phone and giggled once, and got kicked out of class for the whole period.

[@waiting90dastochangemyname3]

I had a teacher like this in eight grade, it was hell because the popular kids could crack unapropriate joke after unapropriate joke and she would laugh with them but if i even gave an answer or a question without raising my hand she would interrupt me or give me a death stare also whenever we played basketball or dodgeball at PE (which was very often) she would always pick popular kids to make teams and skip me and my buddies, it was arguably the worst year of my entire life and it has definetly left a mark on me. And the last thing, this honestly didnt matter much to me since i was treated poorly anyway, she would favor girls over boys and for example when a team had too many people in it, she would kick ME out who joined first and let the girl who joined last stay and she would always choose girls to do stuff like help other teachers who asked for volunteers carrying boxes and stuff and when we had to paint a wall for a musical we were doing she wouldn't allow boys to do anything and only the girls were allowed to paint and the girls were always allowed to play games and unholy poor taste songs on the digital board

[@Clemingtime]

@@waiting90dastochangemyname3 it's like...these people peaked in high school/college and are attempting to get back there by sucking up to the people who will do the same? It's sad, weird, not gonna work, and damaging.

[@HoneyedToast]

Had a French teacher like that but instead of the popular kids it was the boys in the class. And I do mean boys, it was 7-8th grade. The girls couldn't say a peep or do a single thing during class without her getting pissed off. One of the boys threw a hacky-sac at her during a test and she failed me for it. It was the most bizarre moment of my life as I sat in complete confusion while the entire class told her it wasn't me and the kid who actually threw it even owned up to it. She actually failed my test too.

[@mauricenr2969]

@HoneyedToast Horrible!

[@GiddyPinata]

Jesus, I’m sorry dude

[@Arc_Viper]

As a short man, this is relatable. The Pygmalion effect is strong with men concerning their height. People all around me have lowered expectations because of my height. It took me years and years to get my own motivation to be charismatic and confident despite my environment. It's not easy.

[@mradu30singh]

Correct I always feel same. 5' 6"

[@spacedinput]

What did you do different? I am sure you tried your best until that point. Did you just try even harder?

[@Neomalthusiano]

Sports are designed for taller people except a few like gymnastics or horse riding, where short people have an actual advantage. So they are sort of in the right to have lesser expectations on you.

[@SM-gh3cy]

In my native language, Turkmen, we have a saying "call someone dumb 40 times, and he will become one"

[@dekudeku5520]

Indeed I know of it.

[@dekudeku5520]

My dad also knew it, by still decided to call me all sorts of things regardless. Damn he lucky I don't wanna kill him, yet, I rather watch him go through hell, but at the same time I want to see him suffer, luckily for him I'm also lazy.

[@LATINASTYLEx3]

Right important parents don't call their children dumb or something. My parents did this very often and I believed it 🙁

[@LATINASTYLEx3]

Right important parents don't call their children dumb or something. My parents did this very often and I believed it 🙁

[@SM-gh3cy]

This way or another our parents teach us, now we all now how to treat our children. Not the best way to learn but still...

[@k-lahkhan1111]

if I try to explain this to my parents they'd just say "well Joe needed to prove that his coach was WRONG and he should've tried harder"

[@purdyprincess]

That's my mom. She's all about proving the other person wrong about their beliefs of ourselves

[@mazvitaselemani]

This effect seems to neglect all other factors, like individual interaction between Joe and the Coach that might make him change his mind about Joe, or Joe having support from his other team mates, or like your mom said Joe's resilience. It's definitely not 100% true but , it's certainly arguable that this effect exists in our society

[@hippiefairy7333]

Asian moms

[@k-lahkhan1111]

@@hippiefairy7333 how did you know omg

[@hippiefairy7333]

@@k-lahkhan1111 im asian too haha

[@ClioMako]

Poor Joe, he deserved to be believed in.

[@JaysonT1]

ClioMako ...but he's a douche.

[@benjaminr8961]

@@JaysonT1 He is also fat.

[@alehunter15]

Hey Joe where are you going with that gun of yours?

[@juliarenneker7297]

@@JaysonT1 but he wasn't a douche before the coach stopped paying attention to him

[@StreetGeekz]

Joe later became known as Wreck it Ralph.

[@haydenadams3308]

This is why as a coach you have to do two things: not get too attached to avoid bias in your treatment of players and never write a player off. Each is an individual and is on a journey that hopefully you have some influence on. You'll be surprised what players will start developing out of nowhere when you do.

[@plugshirt1762]

@@carsonhunt4642 congrats you managed to type a comment completely irrelevant to what you were replying to

[@rafaelalodio5116]

Moral of the story, never expect nothing from anyone.

[@gamingtacos381]

How did you reach that? If you expect nothing from anyone, then you will act with those expectations, and they will match those expectations, and so on. Under the assumption that this effect does work, then you are leading those around you to achieve nothing.

[@nnaif]

Gaming Tacos Read what he said carefully

[@RedFloyd469]

@@gamingtacos381 He said "never" expect nothing. A double negative. So we should always expect something.

[@theemirofjaffa2266]

@@RedFloyd469 we'll just hope Rafael didn't commit a grammatical error and really understood or meant what he wrote there.

[@gamingtacos381]

Red Floyd ! Oh shit you’re right. I didn’t read it throughly enough

[@ryanside7095]

This happened to me with eating food. I grew up as the middle of three brothers. One day I ate food that neither of my brothers wanted to try. My parents said to them “look how Ryan isn’t afraid to try new food” This made me believe that I’m really open to trying new food which eventually became true, all because of the positive reinforcement from my parents. Since then I’ve always enjoyed trying new foods.

[@LilXancheX]

Would you like a turd sandwich for dinner my guy?

[@natemajor6560]

Lol similar thing with me hard to say if I would be as open to different food if I wasn’t compared to my brother

[@ppjerry420]

which then evolved into Ryan gawking down strange hairy renegade dicks

[@etienne8110]

Congrats, you became a glouton. ^^

[@serronserron1320]

Whatever is for dinner? Including those annoying Girl Scouts and Latter-day Saints with pamphlets?

[@FokkeWulfe]

My mom raised me with, basically, a "praise the effort, not the outcome," mentality. My mother made it clear that effort was required. Oh I'd get praise for an amazing outcome too. If I passed a test with a 97% in a subject I'm historically very poor in, that was celebrated, but it was focused on the effort I put *into* the grade, more than the actual grade. The thought being, I can make a 97% by cheating, so it's not like this was the only path. But I made a 97% through hard work and study, which is far harder and *that* is what made my mother proud. And the culmination of that effort was a 97%, something to be proud of indeed.

[@mariodoomfist1049]

wait so what you're telling is that nice parents exist? in this aspect your mother is a blessing

[@FokkeWulfe]

@@mariodoomfist1049 My mother is indeed, a blessing. Lol

[@glaze5484]

@@FokkeWulfe same for me, my mom is also a blessing and always takes into account on whether she is in the right, or in the wrong

[@FokkeWulfe]

@@glaze5484 mine as well. I definitely lucked out with her. Lol.

[@TheUnsongUnknown]

parents shouldn't expect a child to have better grades parents should still be there by their child's side either by praising the child's effort on the grades or telling them its alright to not be perfect

[@CrusaderGabriel]

This is why I made a personal hobby going against other’s expectations Personally I prefer people not having any expectations just because it’s incredibly annoying having to meet them (the higher their expectations the worst, like you’ll have to work more than what you like to just to have others happy instead of yourself) but when they assume I’m stupid it makes it really fun to prove them wrong, I have no minimum to achieve so if I fail at proving them wrong at the worst I just did the bare minimum and still succeeded in whatever was the task, but that’s just me as a self motivated adult, the coach from the example was an A-hole and should’ve been fired

[@DesertStateInEU]

Same for me. Most people had/have extremely negative views about me, either to somehow elevate themselves or its self projection. Doesn't matter, the picture they created about me in their heads which they have held onto for a decade is negative. I never let those people define me, I worked my ass off, and reached levels they can't even dream of. Now when they see me, you should see the psychological breakdowns they get when their view about me shatters. Its like a nuclear reactor meltdown happens in their mind, they can't process it.

[@thanawatsudruangloet6450]

A wise man once said, "Believe in the me who believes in you". RIP Best Bro Kamina.

[@Galactic_15]

;-; God rest his soul

[@chenweihua848]

Kamina?

[@rowletthejowlet6241]

@@chenweihua848 A character from a show called Gurren Lagann. The one who said the quote in the main comment.

[@stanisawbenger3815]

Why did you have to write that I just barely stopped myself from shedding a tear. God damn

[@theHedgex1]

You brought a grown man to tears. Good job little buddy.

[@benjaminaltube8731]

"Higher expectations lead to higher performance" People with anxiety: *yesn't*

[@randominternetviewer166]

People with anxieties, learn it from a very young age. Most likely from how their parents reacted to their actions

[@ainsleyswartwout2202]

ay lmao yesn't that is true.. I was told I was smart etc. until I got to reading comprehension in fourth grade and my confidence dropped significantly because I was great at everything else but non-verbal (non-auditory word) comprehension and memory. I didn't have words for it at the time, but that's what it was. As I got older, I was still told you're smart, you have so much potential just keep at it you'll go far. But my feelings, my reality wasn't lining up with what was being said of me. I failed an AP English class in 11th grade and just barely got through AP History because I was so stressed about the work, anxious, and not confident in my abilities. Even still my parents kept saying, you're really intelligent I don't understand why this is so difficult for you, the reality for me caused me to lose all hope in my future. They weren't really seeing what was going on with me emotionally and with how I viewed myself, like I was just ignored a lot of the time, so they couldn't help... I remember seeing myself as someone who just couldn't keep it together, so what was the point in even trying. So but yeah, higher expectations of someone has to be there alongside being paid attention to, being helped and encouraged, and being coached for higher performance to occur.

[@zaplepikachu]

@@randominternetviewer166 I dunno dude, my family has genetically higher dispositions to anxiety despite us always being encouraging in homes and receiving praise for what we do.

[@red13emerald]

Higher expectations CAN lead to higher performance, if and ONLY if higher expectations cause a positive effect on the persons performance, like getting more attention put into their training, support after failures, etc. If the higher expectations are unreasonably high or the person is not supported in any way, they fail to meet those expectations, and may blame themselves for it, despite the expectations being the problem, not their performance. I’d say that is one of the prime contributors to anxiety, as it is very easy to internalise these unrealistic expectations and the subsequent self-blame, which, in combination, cause a vicious cycle of learned helplessness.

[@notthep01nt]

This is too accurate

[@sarie7509]

I've felt this effect from teachers, sometimes like chris but always like joe.

[@ritwikreddy5670]

I felt like joe in my freshman year when I took volleyball, but eventually transitioned to badminton because I wanted to play but hated to go to volleyball, so I gave badminton a try and there I was treated like chris. SO, APPEARANCES DO MATTER.

[@KT-hi1rp]

@@ritwikreddy5670 same my hs volleyball coach treats me like Joe

[@zzztv1915]

One of my football coaches treat my like joe. But the other one treats me like Chris.

[@ankhamybeloved379]

Same

[@mansoor6678]

I was treated like joe by my lecturers in college until word spread out i personally made a mobile game and published to the app store. Considering how the average student is a dimwit, the lecturers started eyeing on me with more respect from then on. I felt appreciated so i became more motivated. Became more productive in the end too with a better respect by my peers who otherwise considered me non-existent and potentially worthless. Sometimes all it takes is a good impression to change your fortunes.

[@Arch_Twisted]

This is why introspection and self-awareness are two of the most useful things you could ever learn. If you understand why your own mind does the things it does, you can avoid inadvertently affecting other people in possibly negative ways, while simultaneously bettering yourself.

[@itichakraborty9626]

Woah that's so true...

[@Arch_Twisted]

@@itichakraborty9626 I usually post random banter and schizophrenic-bullshit, but I was feeling philosophical.

[@itichakraborty9626]

@@Arch_Twisted where u from tho

[@Arch_Twisted]

@@itichakraborty9626 I'm in Canada.

[@kayjay8790]

This is extremely important for us parents to remember. “Nurture” your children to a brighter future.

[@Progamerjay100]

Agreed

[@justfriendly7676]

I think its less of a danger for parents to do it (though it is more important for then to avoid doing it) and more of a danger that teachers and mentors do it. Cause trust me, I know quite a lot who do

[@naritruwireve1381]

I rarely meet anyone who actually nurtures kids except maybe a couple teachers and parents... But then again, being a caring person isn't a necessity for becoming a teacher or parent.

[@erosdylan6380]

As a teacher... watching this video will surely give big impact to my kids. I'm glad KZbin randomly recommend this.

[@sprouts]

Great to hear that Eros!

[@11111653]

please be a good teacher bro because someone's future might be in your hand

[@erosdylan6380]

@@11111653 Of course 😊

[@yogawan3805]

@@sprouts Pygmalion effect = self fulfilling prophecy?

[@chrisgould101]

Don't teach Marxist thought teach critical thinking skills !

[@ioanbugheanu6836]

This is why a good first impression is so important

[@edwardgyan9749]

@anne exactly. Why the hell would you label a person because you met him once? And 'first impressions'...that label makes some people act fake because they want the other person to like them. Isnt it better to be yourself? If you trick them into liking you, you'll only inevitably disappoint later, or feel unhappy because you're always acting.

[@dontsaymynameunlessyouknow8775]

The point he was making is, this is why first impression is important regardless if you agree with it or no ,not everybody is gonna care or be aware about this - people are ignorant around the globe so you might as well go along with how things are instead of crossing your arms saying "but this Is ignorant " take advantage of this knowledge and not try to change the truth

[@edwardgyan9749]

@@dontsaymynameunlessyouknow8775 so are you saying we must try to impress someone when we first meet them? It's cool of you're saying so, but just want to know

[@dontsaymynameunlessyouknow8775]

@@edwardgyan9749 yea

[@sijalshrestha605]

Thats righr

[@KyleC11]

This video should be shown to every parent, teacher, and coach in the world.

[@hopiecow]

I'm a gym trainer and I think this is super relevant. Clients I like tend to perform the best. Without even knowing I am probably saying/doing things to not support some peoples growth. I gotta be aware of this so I don't let my beliefs about a client impact how I treat them, and ultimately impact their performance.

[@sprouts]

Exactly, when we are self-aware we can work towards changing our behavior.

[@0xsergy]

or learn how to say it to all clients, even those you aren't as big a fan of. might help their performance(and thereby they might keep you as a trainer as they would attribute their success to ya)

[@scrung]

@@0xsergy yeah thats what he said

[@davidf2244]

Impossible. You can't prevent your beliefs from unconsciously influencing your actions. You can however consciously choose to embody different beliefs. That's the basis of CBT. Ask yourself what your actions, thoughts, and emotions each tell you about your underlying beliefs. Ask yourself what beliefs you could try embodying instead if you're unhappy with the ones you have. How would you act if you believed these different things? What sorts of things might you think? Say? Try doing those things. Think those things (aka repeat a mantra to yourself). Say those things. Over time, your beliefs will change. That's how it works. We believe what we demonstrate to ourselves to be true. If we embody different beliefs, and the feedback we get is that they are being validated, then we'll start to believe that, instead. The good news is that people be default constantly confirm their existing beliefs and reject evidence to the contrary. So once you start embodying new beliefs, eventually you'll start automatically reinforcing them. The trick is to stay self aware enough and active enough in this activity that you don't slip back into old habits without realizing it.

[@forsenstunlocked5967]

@@davidf2244 CBT? Cock and ball torture?

[@naowright9308]

This is why my mom would say, "You're not an idiot so don't act like one!" She wanted us to believe we were smart and capable human beings. I always felt like I could do anything if I wanted it.

[@kharijordan6426]

Did you?

[@naowright9308]

@@kharijordan6426 Well, what I really wanted to be when I grew up was a mother, just like her. I have been married for almost 15 yrs. with seven children that I homeschool. I am left handed and taught myself how to knit, crochet, and sew in a right handed world. Currently I am taking Handwriting Analysis courses from home that I want to turn into a home business. Several of my siblings are in or have been to college studying subjects of interest to them(nursing, business organization, family counseling, history ect). One of them at 20yrs.is about to get his pilot's license and his pilot mechanic certification. One, mastered Chinese and until recently was employed in China as a translator for a major electronics company.

[@kharijordan6426]

@@naowright9308 Cool. I'm still... thinking threw stuff. Glad you were able to live your dream of being a mom.

[@keripik6728]

same like my mother told me, 'Actually you're smart but lazy'. Ah yes, i'm lazy af.

[@zeenatbatenga2717]

You are lucky that you had such a mom, when i do something wrong accidentally or not she yells, "YOU ARE SO STUPID!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS HOW THE HELL ARE YOU MAKING IT IN SCHOOL??!!"

[@talea9593]

This is literally how I became a good artist. My family kept telling me I was really good and talented even when I was little drawing stick figures. So I kept drawing because I thought I was good. Now I actually am very good haha

[@chaldeanguy8356]

That's actually kinda weird, 'cause I remember a study a while ago, where parents, who didn't criticize their children's art, music, etc...And simply gave them positive feedback no matter how "terrible" it was, led the kids to become less ambitious and more content in their work, which also led them to not pursue any work ethics in furthering certain areas of life. Not saying that happened to you or anything, btw. I do think it depends on the person/parent in certain situations.

[@talea9593]

@@chaldeanguy8356 Well I was a very sensitive kid. I would cry at everything. As a kid, I'm not sure how well I would have taken my family telling me my art was bad when I did my best. I probably would've been discouraged and stopped drawing.

[@ngndnd]

@@chaldeanguy8356 i actually think youre right tho. Its important to give children constructive criticism and not make them believe that they are perfect. Usually kids like that end up having a meltdown when theyre older when they mess up because they arent “perfect” anymore.

[@chaldeanguy8356]

@@ngndnd, that's exactly it.

[@Incognit0777]

@@ngndnd That is true. I was a very good student (mostly for the sake of it, which was a huge mistake) and that made me a perfectionist, though it didn't translate well in the real world and even when it came to choosing what to study further. It took me a couple of years and meltdowns after high school to refocus my mind and the mindset change is still somewhat a work in progress, even though nowadays I have learned how to let go of things a lot more easily and care a lot less than when I was an ignorant teen.

[@Tanay352]

This effect is very similar to my expectations in school, where in school I was really bad in studies, but was totally opposite when it comes to sports...At that time i had already expected my sports teacher to treat me the way Joe was treated, so even if I had got no compliments I had gave my best because I just loved playing and at end even though was not treated equally like other players i won lots of gold medals which was the source of my motivation

[@PhuongNguyen-oy9xt]

Being a teacher means being a huge responsible person, it can change one person's live.

[@lilithleviathan819]

100% truth

[@baldoggie]

Iife*

[@odddellarobbia4]

like the one who rejected a young painter

[@baldoggie]

@@odddellarobbia4 adolfus

[@syphon5899]

Exactly

[@kageisuke]

This is basically why the school system is failing. Low expectations creates a low bar to jump over. And when thee bar keeps going lower and lower in hopes more people will pass, you've instead dumbed down everyone.

[@zissler1]

Grimmjow Jaggerjack isn’t that what affirmative action reinforces. You expect minorities to do worst than Asians or whites, and so they do.

[@centanhotbox84]

are all of u mentally handicapped?! oh wait i cant say that thats the polgmania effect. OH PLEASE. u sll know this. u dont let something out of you dictate or control how you feel or think. god damn its elementary this. no successful man or woman is extrinsicly motivated. and im talking about resl sucess here. Einsteins mozarts and michael jordans. Many "teacherssss" didnt like em but who cares? they just did their thing fully expressing themselves

[@kageisuke]

@@zissler1 No, affirmative action was made so that if two applicants are equally qualified you give the minority applicant a better chance of being hired instead of going with the default white guy.

[@zissler1]

Grimmjow Jaggerjack you have no clue about it, it counts as a score against you. So if someone has higher grades but is Asian and someone has lower grades and is black the black will get in as there are already a higher concentration of Asians. So in a way your already assuming they will not do as well. Sure you could say they both qualify or not, but it should be about the most qualified

[@kageisuke]

@@zissler1 You're confusing what it was made for and how you see it working. I specifically said EQUALLY qualified because of what you just said. Affirmative action is not supposed to promote unqualified or underqualified people over those who have the qualifications. How people view, interpret, and see it working doesn't mean that's how it's SUPPOSED to be used.

[@restsarapmaginhawa5499]

This is why your self esteem should be internal and not external.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Restituto Ginhawa Shut up, loser!

[@aryad.2540]

@@thereisnosanctuary6184 whats your problem kiddo

[@olliew2932]

wordd

[@A_Random_Rat]

Arya D. His mom took his fortnite away. Let Timmy let out his anger.

[@balladin9200]

Don’t seek validation from other people, you’re the greatest. Wait a second should you believe me or not?

[@manasjaiswal1783]

This is exactly what has happened to me every time this year either consciously or subconsciously, eventually resulting in poor performance of mine during preparation journey ! And now that I know what was going on I can totally cutoff or keep myself unheard from such people . Thankyou for this valuable information 🙌

[@fiorenzadelafuente1062]

Joe deserved better. Hope you’re having a better life buddy😔

[@Ray2311us]

I was Joe, I’m having a nightmare ever since elementary.

[@SONALI_V]

@@Ray2311us aww 😔I love you for doing your best

[@jorgerosas2516]

You mean the Joe that got sick with hava?

[@karthiksashank6829]

Its a story and it aint true

[@fendy5124]

@@yw6836 joe mama ahahsssjsskjsksjsks Ok

[@Max2ds]

“Imagine if you’re the coach of a basketball team” Woah now slow down, you gotta start the effect small

[@kannatheweeb8836]

Oh

[@luke_222]

Ok

[@thozby]

Alright

[@user-sf9gs2pg1b]

Got it

[@bub2440]

Ahah

[@nazzznazzz163]

Moment of silence for all the people that been treated like Joe, You know who you are.

[@gdl-nik]

Nazzz Nazzz ... (just making silence here)

[@Lynn-ip9sh]

...

[@kyler7097]

...

[@valtaep1ece796]

Nazzz Nazzz ....

[@dontforgettolike7127]

It didn't come out of nowhere. Put some damn effort forth and break the cycle. This video is an excuse for the Joe's out there. "People think I suck so I might as well not try anymore. Not my fault. I want socialism now."

[@yeah....2334]

Sometimes the same expectations can fuck you up once you start thinking you're not doing enough to meet those expectations

[@Neiotic]

Poor Joe, he doesn't deserve that, it's not his fault. WE LOVE YOU JOE

[@hansgruber788]

Javier Borrego well he should’ve lost weight. I mean seriously, would he ever be that successful at sports weighing 18 stone

[@debban6397]

@@hansgruber788 he's just a kid joined their as a hobby. Who knows maybe losing weight was main the reason he joined.

[@mochamommyATX]

Some people THRIVE on negative reinforcement. Look at the JJ Watt and Micheal Jordan. Look at boxing's new heavyweight champion. Those guys chose not to be victims

[@edward10619]

@@hansgruber788 Nikola Jokic would like a word

[@FlareonB]

I Love You too Guys - Joe

[@richardgonzales3341]

Joe: I'm going to play basket ball! Random guy from the coach's past: I'm about to ruin this whole guy's career.

[@usercanalviejo2]

Basically lol

[@MultiTrickster121]

I thought he was gonna ruin the half guys career

[@neemasherpa3571]

LMAO😂😂😂

[@Iluvnaomi]

999 like

[@kongoll]

so many likes for a misquote...

[@xiaomingqin590]

This should be shown to all educators before they go into the field; handling and shaping young minds.

[@boomerangfish3558]

This should be thought to the students, so they rely on themselves instead of what the educator thinks.

[@xiaomingqin590]

​@@boomerangfish3558 Now that you mention it both would be a good start but I also feel it wouldn't be bad to give the educators a refresh/reminder at what the main mission is when handling the youths of the future. I get it as humans we get lost every now and then but never focus that energy on an innocent. I've just sadly seen it too many times to count.

[@boomerangfish3558]

@@xiaomingqin590 Having it as a class would not only educate the children, but also serve as a reminder for what you said. Teachers are unreliable. They are humans ...as you said.

[@quarepercutisproximum9582]

But what about when a student believes the encouragement they receive from their instructor(s) is undeserved as a result? But yeah, that probably wouldn't happen nearly as much as I'm thinking it might...

[@xiaomingqin590]

@@quarepercutisproximum9582 That may be a more internal situation where they just need more confidence coaching. Regardless of the situation it's never okay for an educator to berate students they fail to understand or know the situation of. Almost everyone has been there; young, misunderstood, making mistakes, and learning. One thing a student should never learn from an educator is how to doubt themselves for just being. It's not a bad thing to remind educator/students of how they can impact a mind. Sometimes humans get lost and they just need a refresher/encouragement of what the bigger goal was for them. It's so easy to find flaws in a person but it should equally be as easy to find a person's strengths. Pretty much it's perspective and how we look at it. Personally I think looking at it with a positive perspective has a more rewarding outcome than just do nothing or the opposite.

[@bethanyray6421]

i realized this a really long time ago. My sister and I were close in age but I was a little more outgoing and she was a little more shy and attached to others. It seems as though from a young age, I was fostered with higher expectations and over time my sister was given lower and lower expectations. She struggled in school while I got A's and B's and rarely any C's. My sister failed, almost got held back, and never graduated high school. I was involved in a lot of extra curriculars because my parents thought I NEEDED that and thought my sister didn't need it. They thought I had more energy, more of a need to express myself creatively through dance or music. My sister was not given the same resources that kept me out of trouble. She got involved with a bad friends, drugs, bad relationships. Now I am 21 and she is 23 and she doesn't have a job. She is living with my mom in a one bed-room apartment staying indoors literally all day long. Whereas I am in a private 4 year university going on my senior year and going to move on to graduate school. All of this because she was seen as a struggling kid and expected not to do well from the get go. She never stood a chance because we were always being compared. I think my parents did the best they could I really believe that and I would never ever tell them this but they failed her. I know they tried hard and I know that they wanted the best and can't help their own biases but they still failed her. And I have vowed that if I ever have kids I will always try to give them equal expectations and opportunities. Every kid deserves that.

[@sprouts]

We never know how drastically our biases and expectations can influence other's life. I am sorry your sister's environment wasn't favorable.

[@kaz_50]

You just described your parents failing your sister, I may not know the details but the way you described it is basically that. I think the reason why you still believe your parents did their best was because you yourself turned out well. Just because you turned out well does not make the way they treated your sister well (based on how you described it) was ok. This is just how I see it from an outside perspective based on the information you shared.

[@narrow3601]

​@@kaz_50oh absolutely they failed her

[@doublet3n672]

"My sister deserved better, but I'm never ever going to tell my parents that, can't ruin their perfect view of ME" mate you are part of the problem.

[@storyfrontierdrive1433]

How selfish you are

[@KeishaPritaAngrijanata]

My math teacher on 9th grade always say this to us whenever we're doing exams and practices: "Ah, I know you guys will make it. I know you guys are smart students. If you fail, don't be sad, that's completely okay. Every person is an intellectual in their on subject right?" And then he also always encourages us to ask, saying that asking doesn't mean that you're dumb or smth, it is just another way of learning and it will make you guys smarter. I'm so happy he's my teacher, even though on my last year of junior highschool, and we can only meet online. I wish he could teach me again. Come to think about it, maybe he is the best math teacher I have ever met 🥺

[@xiquai]

This is so sweet 🥺

[@namechangerfre7296]

What a great person, and lucky students. If only all teachers could be like this.

[@Kaymitlit]

Hooo what a nice teacher and a cute comment 👌🏿🤎

[@nibblesnarfer]

I wish my math teacher was like yours. I had no memories of her being supportive of me--or my classmates-- most of the time she focused solely on two students that she thought so highly of. Might be part of the reason, why I never had any interest in math but was completely hooked on literature and art.

[@Zed9659]

@@nibblesnarfer it dosent matter just ignore them they keep telling me I'll fail but still I pass dumb teachers

[@zaboomafooba]

Dang, everyone keeps saying things like “this is why you need to decide your own worth” and “we let others affect us too much” but those individualistic ideas are missing the real point of the video which is: WE have an effect on OTHERS. Not just that others have an effect on us. Our behaviors and beliefs *affect others* and it would be best to be aware of that and interrupt ourselves if we find that we may be treating others unfairly with our expectations and actions. So many people are interpeting this individualistically... but... the point of this is that we are WIRED to interpret that social information, and loop it back into our view of the world and ourselves. The lesson of this isn’t “well everyone needs to individually make up their minds of their own self worth regardless of what others say” the point is that WE SHOULD BE AWARE OF HOW OUR BELIEFS IMPACT OTHERS.

[@Natalia-hf3et]

Great point. I love your comment.

[@mishi144]

Or both :)

[@ConradFiat]

True. But if theres one thing people are. Its stubborn to admit people need one another. People need good motivation aswel to make things work. If it isnt there. You might aswel call it quits on the other. Because itll end in frustration.

[@keerf255]

This guy gets it.

[@ferghalicious1480]

Underrated comment👍🏻

[@williamt1267]

Wait a second. This is the EXACT reason why I stopped playing basketball back in fifth grade.

[@crapcantbeholy1389]

Oh yeah, it's all coming together

[@williamt1267]

@@soc7967 it wan't really annoying, it was more confusing. In the time span of about a year, I completely lost all motivation to play a sport that I had been playing since I was 5, and I had no idea why. I realize now that it was because as teammates and coaches had lower expectations for me, I matched those expectations until I no longer had fun playing the game that was practically my only hobby besides video games. It was tough finding stuff I enjoyed for quite a while.

[@sirnuggets9666]

@@williamt1267 although I may not know you, I want to let you know I appreciate you and I'm glad you shared this with us.

[@Jonymankitty]

@@williamt1267 when you work a job, you have to have a mindset that you're great. If you just start out and the managers treat you like Joe, then prove them wrong by overcoming what they said you cant, and that's how you can rise in a job

[@williamt1267]

@@Jonymankitty thanks for the tip

[@aguspuig6615]

I feel like its really important to train yourself to see the good in people, if you try to fake it it doesnt work, it only works when you have a genuine degree of admiration or respect for the person, i feel like being profecient at seeing the good in people and being able to show it is one of the best social skills there is. You help other people, and predispose them to treat you nicely, if youre already confident and charismatic people will get a big boost from being apreciated by you, but even if youre shy and kinda awkward, if people get the vibe that you apreciate them youll always come out at least as cute to them, no matter how awkward you are.

[@pinky-lz4np]

I'm a quiet person and a loud person, depends on who I am with. When I met a person mistaking my quietness for shyness... I feel shy toward that person. But when I'm with someone who do not think I'm shy, I'm acting the way I am.. I don't feel awkward and I don't do weird things around that person.

[@eaauz]

same

[@chrisgould101]

So basically bipolar ambivert I feel u

[@randomness4989]

@@chrisgould101 no it's called being an introvert

[@DaviidOnTop]

@@randomness4989 Nope, it's called being an ambivert

[@junyibiolasion674]

isnt this just acting like a normal person, we all act differently with people who we feel or perceive us in different ways, its normal for humans to act differently. I dont get why people try to label themselves as "im an introvert" "im an extrovert" when in reality all these things can literally change overnight. It's foolish.

[@aartig.5143]

Damn that is scary. Someone else's beliefs about you have the power to change you and how you look at yourself. So toxic people are around all the time. That's probably why you need to stop caring what others think and don't let their actions define you. I'm not quite good at that, but if someone is tell me please

[@autumnwind2699]

That's why good teachers and schooling is so important

[@wordzmyth]

Keep looking for somone to believe in you. Until then do affirmations in the mirror every morning, so that you go out into the world already having believed in yourself.

[@EclecticHottie]

Say to yourself, "That's interesting. Is there merit in what they're saying?" If not, there's a million reasons to not take what they say to heart. I agree that affirmations will help get over the yuck feeling you got from them. I AM are the two most powerful words ever, so stay away from saying anything negative about yourself as well! (If you DO catch yourself, immediately change the phrase to positive.) If what they've said is true, improve yourself... then prove them wrong or just prove it to yourself. This life is for growing, learning, and bettering ourselves. The person saying negative and untrue things to you may just be having a bad day or is not on a journey of betterment.. because if they were bettering themselves they wouldn't dare speak to another badly. That is their story, their negative mind eating themselves from the inside out. Negativity creates chronic disease so keep your story full of light and love!

[@IntheEndAhNevermind]

Be nice to others. Believe in them. Help them when it's sensible to do so. Positivity has an infectious effect, just like negativity. As a result, you will feel good about yourself and others will do the same for you, due to the law of reciprocity.

[@noeme17]

This is true. This theory will only take place if your affected by what others think about you. If you care less then you just do you.

[@biakahmar9171]

"I am not who i think i am, i am not who you think i am, i am who i think you think i am" - C.H Cooley

[@Lisa-qt4hh]

Good quote, very fitting!

[@lordx4641]

Carl jung was a copycat but a nice man

[@nittokki888]

Biaka Hmar Carl Jung is the best!

[@lordx4641]

@@nittokki888 lol he plagiarized ancient hindu mind sciences look up his model chart 😂

[@theemirofjaffa2266]

That's deep

[@dragonsoda3244]

i expereinced this with my parents. When I was in elementary school, I did all of my assignments on time, didn't fall behind, and was motivated to do my work. But when I fell behind just a couple of times, my parents believed that I was a procrastinator, and they would tell me this so often, that it got reinforced into my mind, and I actually turned into a procrastinator. Now that I'm a lot older, I still struggle with procrastinating, parents really need to be conscious about the beliefs they have about their kids, because it literally directly influences how they will turn out in the future.

[@СерегаКапюшон]

Yeah, and also a complete lack of praise for good studies(

[@9faris3]

So that's why Harry Potter was the chosen one. It could be Neville Longbottom

[@MagarAnandChidambaranathan]

Sinister Strawberry yes Voldemort started the pygmalion effect.!

[@Hideotic]

Sinister Strawberry Can you expound on that? Lol

[@dragonbane44]

@@Hideotic As per the criteria set by a certain prophecy, two people were fit to become the Chosen One: Harry and Neville. Both were likely enough. But Voldemort attacked Harry who he felt was a greater danger for some reason. This made everyone think Harry was the Chosen One and no one knew about the other choice. And because Voldemort became a mortal danger to Harry, Harry fought back and defeated him. He, thus, fulfilled everyone's belief that he is the chosen one. Voldemort started the Pygmalion effect by attacking Harry.

[@kunal1957]

Did you just watch a film theory about it?

[@dereklewis4321]

And then you see the Actor who plays Neville now and your like damn

[@Posby95]

In other words, self-fulfilling prophecy.

[@johnathendean6019]

But from an outside prophecy. I was thinking the same thing

[@purporchid8628]

That's exactly what I thought also. Your perception of what you're seeing/believe shapes the future, either for better or worse, but the effect mentioned also has an impact on others' own self-fulfilling prophecy. Like the gift that keeps on giving, what you give didn't only affect yourself, but anyone else it touched. I'm just kind of stuck that I never thought of this before, it makes a lot of sense

[@amaracea]

More like peer-fulfilling prophecy

[@KalOrtPor]

@@amaracea This explains a lot about how people perceive and react to you shapes your beliefs and experiences going forward, like why so many CEOs are over 6 ft tall and attractive people are considered more confident and outgoing.

[@Sarah-cy8bc]

I was thinking it reminded me a lot of something I’ve heard of called labeling theory, which I think is a phenomenon in sociology if I remember correctly? If this theory is supported, that would explain the underlying mechanisms of it, though this is a bit more specific to people in mentoring positions

[@whyY3489]

I remember having a teacher who would scold me and insult me for not doing the maths right...I started to think low about myself and had in mind that I was dumb, until I had this very supportive teacher who made learning maths fun and motivating. I scored A+ grade(89/100) on my final high school year.. I thank him to this day

[@UltraStarWarsFanatic]

Where in the world is an 89 an A+?

[@whyY3489]

@@UltraStarWarsFanatic In India. We do not have general grading systems, but percentage. A sum of all the subjects and if the percentage lands somewhere near 95-96%, it is considered as an A+. My apologies that I mentioned it as an individual subject there, but I meant an overall. Because obviously, if I hadn't scored an 89 on maths, maybe...my percentage wouldn't have added upto that.

[@UltraStarWarsFanatic]

@@whyY3489 Oh, I see. That does make more sense. Thanks for the explanation.

[@dariusdafigga]

Wow I’ve always vaguely thought about this concept but didn’t know it had an actual name and it is so true. I experience this just about every time I meet someone. Your looks and the personality you give off often causes others to have certain expectations of you. I often find myself trying to live up to those expectations subconsciously. Every now and then I would realize and question why I do the things that I do. This explains it

[@justme9818]

'Who's going to surprise me today?' is a great trick for coaches and teachers to use just before class/training. It really opens the mind! 😉

[@at5286]

just me! I like this.

[@yourbarista4154]

Interesting idea, it contradicts the video that talks about believing in the capabilities of others rather than not believing in them and asking to be surprised.

[@kuku505]

Wow you should be the next aristotle man! I love that phrase.

[@JG-on2wx]

That's a great idea. My plan is to teach at a university here in Germany one day, I hope I'll remember this phrase, although teaching at a university isn't quite the same as teaching at school, I guess, since you have to be more independent and self-organized as a university student

[@incogniftoar3943]

J G anyone who doesn't want to forget this phrase just screenshot it

[@ITyraxI]

This happens in the work place as well when your superiors think little of you and don't invest in you, you end up entering the same cycle.

[@sarahhamdan5470]

Your preformance gets worst and you don't even care🤷🏻‍♀️

[@ITyraxI]

@@sarahhamdan5470 Precisely and the best part is they'll never realize or acknowledge they had anything to do with it.

[@sarahhamdan5470]

@@ITyraxI it is really bad🤦🏻‍♀️

[@user-hw7dz7mg5n]

On the contrary, not all people are like that. Some people when they have others expecting less of them, they want to prove them wrong.

[@kaxis26]

Just about to write this. Working in a supermarket is the worst for politics among staff. This all goes hand in hand with workplace bullying.

[@Chaimelo]

This is why teachers who pick favorites and judge all the rest harsher are a huge problem. I was always reserved in school, was polite and did my work. But this made me the "favorite". I whole heartedly believe that being a teachers pet will actually encourage you to be better and help your thinking in that subject. It's reinforcing positive behavior. But teachers should be attached to ALL their students to encourage them like this. Note: some of my teachers really did become attached to misbehaving or struggling kids and and it really did help them. My earth science teacher Mrs. Atterbury was a real one and she deals with a lot - bless her heart!!

[@ginnundso]

Agreed here. Back in grammar school I had a pretty good relationship with my English advanced course teacher and he was so supportive. Not only did he help me with my depression (after I have confessed my depression to him after I had missed sending in my homework in online-school), but he also once told me he believed I had the potential to be a grade A-student! And that gave me so much hope. That he is also one of those teachers who not only write down your mistakes on an exam but also make compliments on the things you did well also helped a lot with the positive reinforcement. Whilst I didn't grow to be a grade A student, I still invented time in the online homework because I not only liked the subject but I also kinda wanted to be a good student for him. In all the other subjects in which teachers didn't have such a relationship with me, e.g. my maths teacher who straight up told me "yeah let's keep it real, you won't ever make it above the minimum amount of points needed to pass", I didn't do much homework and often zoned out in class. In English course, however, I continuously paid attention, learned from my mistakes and I was kind of hard-working.

[@theneedforspeeder9575]

@@ginnundso same thing kinda happened to me. My maths teacher said that she didn’t know why my score were so low. So I got a private teacher who was sure I could do it and got near maximum result in next test. Obviously she was surprised af lol, she was the problem

[@Harbour122]

This is exactly me, always reserved and polite. Didn't cause trouble, only did my work. I became multiple teacher's favorite student to a point that some of my classmates either side eyed me or they copied my answers on a test. I had to right the wrong answers purposely so they don't get a free pass.

[@kevinoconnor4582]

“Earth science teacher” did you also go to Marz to learn science?

[@Chaimelo]

@@kevinoconnor4582 lol what? Did u never take earth science? It's where you learn about rocks and shit

[@norukamo]

I watched this exact video around 5 years ago and had forgotten the term until now. Can't believe it went back to my recommendations. Thanks!

[@amer369]

Otherwise known previously as 'self fulfilling prophecy'

[@DubG9]

Exactly

[@temptlessmonk9331]

Litrally, unneeded complications

[@marcose1137]

Word, I'm not sure why they're Barney styling this shit

[@lozer93gurl]

Well not exactly, what they're describing is how you can indirectly influence people's behavior by the way you treat them both positively and negatively. A self-fullfilling prophecy is more so about psyching yourself out and has a negative connotation. They are based in a similar principal though.

[@LikeGoldenFire]

not true, pygmalion effect is when other people's beliefs affect you. self-fulfilling prophecies are when your beliefs affect yourself.

[@QG_TheRemnant]

*Moral of the story* _Just show love to everyone equally unconditionally despite what level of understanding they are at!_

[@jankozak2984]

TheLiving TestimonyChannel but we are doing this subconsciously

[@QG_TheRemnant]

Ján Kozák A Man knows what he wants to do with a woman EVEN before he ask for her name. Either to steal or to give love.

[@alexarango1840]

TheLiving TestimonyChannel what does that even mean?? To steal what lol?

[@fatalos6855]

@@QG_TheRemnant You dare oppose me mortal ?

[@QG_TheRemnant]

Alex Arango picture it like this Alex, a thief wouldn’t go into a empty warehouse. He wants to take whatever is the most precious to you. And that love that you have is the most precious thing people are so desperate to have. People either come in your life to give more love into your “warehouse” or to steal from it.

[@richard12347123]

Every school teacher should know about this... I feel like my confidence was completely killed during my school days because of how teachers acted with me

[@Sailormoonsuperfan94]

Richard Sigamani that is so awful. I am so sorry. I am a new teacher (second year first grade teacher). I would never.

[@richard12347123]

@@Sailormoonsuperfan94 😄💯♥️

[@nurcanagar7593]

@@Sailormoonsuperfan94 i Hope so lol

[@mandiimouse2755]

Richard Sigamani exactly, you should watch American vandal or watch the ending of season 1, it explains how these assumptions influences the students actions. My confidence was gone, I did terrible in high school, I dropped out for a year in grade 11 cuz I failed that entire year. I went back with the motivation to get all As for the rest of my time there and that’s exactly what happened. The confidence made it easier for me to talk and make friends with the teachers and for them to view me differently/be more willing to help me. It showed me that first impressions matter but no matter what they may see you as, if you’re sure of yourself it can make them view you the way you want them to.

[@richard12347123]

For all the concerned people... I'm good now 😂

[@Lilitha11]

This reminds me of my little league coach when I was younger. He was a no nonsense, extremely strict coach and he expected everyone on the team to do well. He is the type that yelled even if we won the game, if we gave up too many runs. We were undefeated and dominated the league that year. I played on other teams in other years, where the coach doesn't really expect much from a lot of the people, and ones who thought the most important thing was just to have fun and try your best and we always did really bad on those teams. Even if the couch was a hard ass, the high expectations from him made everyone a lot better.

[@Chrishoulihan84]

This is a great thing for supervisors and management to understand. If you treat employees like they aren't as good as others, they will never become as good. Give a fairly difficult task to someone and say "I'm giving you this task because I know you can do it". It goes a long way.

[@jessicaportillo1218]

I totally can relate to that,they sat that is one of rhe reasons America is going through this great recession,not sure how true that is but I've read about many many people that said one of the reasons they don't want to work is who wants to work with bosses that belittle put you down and thsn expect you to go slave away, all that makes workvery unfilfilling. I can relate to that so much..

[@headliner48]

@@jessicaportillo1218 I see what you're saying at my factory everyday new workers quit within a couple weeks they often complained they felt undervalued some of them seemed to do well I wonder when the American worker is gonna become less valuable my employers have become more leaniate on punishment for no call no shows because they need people which is think is a effect of the labor shortage I'm currently reaping the rewards of labor shortages though so ig I'm in favor of it

[@jessicaportillo1218]

@@headliner48 I'm glad your able to at least able to get something out of it, work that system s much as you can. I also hope they treat their employees decently at least the ones they have left. I've always talked about making it big in my life financially speaking as I've grown I'm learning it does not matter how big or small I make it. It's about how I treat others, I want to be happy with myself and I never want to make another human beings value feel bad about themselves. I have learned life is truly about living for God and showing his love for others and telling others him dying on the cross for our sins and accepting him as Lord as savior is the best thing in life because we all gonna die sooner or later but the real question is will we choose to accept him or not? I will say though if one does accept him on this earth he can put a peace and love for others him and ourselves we never could imagine. The Lrdord Bless you.

[@Gensagi]

That’s why YOU first have to believe in yourself so that no matter what people say, you are still going becoming the best.

[@D9xAbstract]

Thats hard for children. But I agree.

[@ginnundso]

But for that confidence to build and be there you need positive affirmation in early childhoof/baby years/teenage years.

[@alexiuslovett5452]

Not easy for everyone. Never know what someone has going on at home or school

[@Gensagi]

@@alexiuslovett5452 I hear a bunch of grown adults complaining about life being hard, life’s unfair deal with it.

[@D9xAbstract]

@@Gensagi I would like to say that complaining is a form of "dealing" with it. Just not the one you want people to use. Kinda shitty of you.

[@ujwal8033]

Its opposite for me ''when I get unnoticed I will do best'' "but" ''when I get appreciated and encouraged I will get overconfident and anxiety and make it worse''

[@Gudo-kv6ot]

Hahahaha. True. I prefer that too.

[@hithere9857]

honestly same

[@snakeuhatessprite8288]

Yeah

[@unknownme9467]

Same here dude... It's so relatable to me

[@ljshainevillan1523]

Same!

[@bishalkumar8287]

Woaw, I can relate to Joe, as during my high school days, our teacher used to treat us different and always favoured the person that performed better and eventually led us to think that we are not good enough and used to affect our performance and we also started missing the classes, but eventually things became better........So message to all the Joe(s) out there, don't give up man, just keep trying, don't stop....you will eventually make it

[@licigriffin8576]

I find it terrifying that my future can depend on someone’s perception of me.

[@prestok]

That's what I was thinking during the entire video. I hoped there would be a "how to avoid it" segment...

[@supernana7263]

@@prestok there is. Don't care what others think!. It's that simple really

[@mrunseen3797]

@@supernana7263 in my opinion it subconsciously influences you. Some people are more affected than others.

[@supernana7263]

@@mrunseen3797 it all comes down to how strong your mentality is.

[@prestok]

​@@supernana7263 I don't think that is the case. The examples shown in the video are very light and inconsequential, but if the opportunities your boss gives you run through the same filter, then it's not a case of "being cheerful and confident" or "not being weak-minded" anymore, you see?

[@HudsonRebel]

Moral: Never belittle someone, and never let someone to belittle you!!!

[@LeSyd1984]

Grandpa absolutely despised only two kinds of people. Those who thought themselves above, superior and those who thought themselves inferior, unworthy. He also taught us that humans are like maple leafs, they all look alike but you'll never find two identical ones... However it doesn't mean one is more or less useful to the tree...

[@mems5766]

@@LeSyd1984 damn you had a great grandpa

[@jamesmcinnis208]

@@LeSyd1984 The plural of "leaf" is "leaves."

[@newbloomwon]

Good thing no one told Einstein he was stupid. 😉

[@jamesmcinnis208]

@@newbloomwon Smart people know they're not stupid but stupid people don't know they're not smart.

[@thethirdview7098]

“The Pygmalion Effect”, AKA “Love”. Anyone or anything we put energy into grows.

[@usernameluis305]

Yup. People who are loved, grow and prosper. People who are not loved, whittle in silence

[@paincake2595]

@@usernameluis305 no one can understand it better than a gamer or a weeb.......i second you.

[@Beregond1861]

@@paincake2595 Ah yes of course, the most oppressed group of society.

[@Sunset4us]

You nailed it.

[@kenyettahayes5324]

Facts

[@thesophisticatedjellyfish]

Yep, very true. That's why it's important to try to be encouraging and find the good things to say about someone to them, even if it's hard at times. Or maybe a bit of a stretch. If they hear the positive things you believe about them, it will trigger a positive loop (and vice versa). Especially important for parents to encourage their kids, because other kids in school will say so many mean things for no reason, and if the kid doesn't have an authority figure combatting that negativity it will be bad for them

[@CodyRushDriving]

Warning: being aware of this effect may make you question if you are actually good or bad at anything, or if people are just manipulating you for whatever result they desire to see in you.

[@procrastinatingfangirl7462]

_...oh my god_

[@randomguyonthenet2623]

either way you succeed so it's not a losing situation

[@hithere9857]

oh my god yeah

[@rabtenh]

well , it was not the case until you commented this🤦🏻‍♂️

[@guilles8905]

Live is a big theatre

[@Reaper512]

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

[@WeirdKDM]

Albert Einstein?

[@scarletlarvesta]

Hey, there's a book called Fish in a Tree or something like that, and that quote is basically the main idea(obviously). It's a really good book. Man, I gotta read it again.

[@medexamtoolscom]

Don't be ridiculous. Most people have no great talents, in anything. It's not that they have some great talent if they could just discover it. Most people are dumb slobs and never had any greatness within them. What's more, the same person who actually is very good at one thing, is most likely very good at many things. The idea that everyone is a winner and everyone is special and amazing and equally amazing (therefore equal) is just progressivist bullshit.

[@scarletlarvesta]

@@medexamtoolscom you're right, not everyone is a winner. Most people are losers. But everyone is different, therefore everyone is special in their own way. I don't really agree that there are completely talentless people in the world. I mean, there are people like that, but they can work and become talented if they try hard enough and have the right resources. Not Everyone has the right resources or can try very hard, though. Everyone has potential is what I'm trying to say.

[@Revixter]

I wonder if your opinion is some grand form of irony. Perhaps if society started to think of the average person as competitent they would begin to act that way.

[@Rosaap_]

This make me think how being labelled "shy" by an incompetent teacher (that doesn't understand the difference between shy and introvert) during my childhood changed all my relationship and my life.

[@lexlu886]

I used to be called shy a lot during my childhood, which then made me actually label myself as such and act accordingly. But no, I just prefer to stay to myself. People seem to not comprehend that...

[@kayjoyce9932]

@@shaunhayes3072 Being an introvert does not mean you have problems socializing with people or having conversations it’s just that being too social drains your energy and you prefer spending free time either around people you know or alone.

[@kingbowser4542]

Damn, that kinda makes sense. It did affect me huh.

[@Scaramouche122]

@@lexlu886 how possibly u can be introvert?

[@annabethyeung8512]

I mean, realistically, introverted people do usually come off as more shy. It’s not a for sure, because some introverts are still really active socializers, just for short periods of time, but many introverts see socializing as an activity so draining they will not usually initiate it.