Are Intrusive Thoughts Part of Being Autistic?

getting real deep and honest here so pls be nice lmao
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[@apollo4216]

Based on your description, I could see how your GP might have mistaken your thoughts for true delusions that would indicate psychosis. If it makes you feel any better, my great-grandmother actually has Dementia-Related Psychosis and her behavior and her experience is nothing like ours. One of her delusions is that her former husband (dead for over 20 years) is in her house stealing her things. She genuinely believes this so strongly that she's actually called the police on him. She also believed so strongly that mice had infested her apartment that she had to move to a new place (and of course, they followed her). That rationality check that we have, the "I think this but I know it's false", that's not there for her. She genuinely believes her delusions and takes action upon them. Your experience with intrusive thoughts is quite similar to mine (including the unpleasant violent and hateful ones). I knew these experiences were somewhat normal based on my research, but it definitely helps to hear it another real actual person. I also came to the conclusion that it's probably related to our pattern recognition and/or memory differences that leads us to be more susceptible to having persistent intrusive thoughts. I think some of the violent ones have originated from crime shows and podcasts that I've watched. I might subconsciously recognize a situation that occurred in one of those and my mind will immediately jump to the violent crime part at the end to complete the pattern. As for the hateful ones, I think there's an element of being drawn to thoughts that are the complete opposite of our actual beliefs, like you're playing an internal devil's advocate. We also tend to form strong memories when they are associated with intense emotions, even if those emotions are negative. All in all though, I think that the juxtaposition of those conflicting beliefs is a cornerstone of our ability to learn and change as humans. It's a natural result of our brain seeking to better understand our surroundings, and the continued need to rationalize our beliefs against these internal conflicting thoughts keeps our morals strong.

[@ulfrthered]

Hey there! Neurodivergent sort here, and I can confirm that I too get intrusive thoughts regularly. In my case they're more inward focused than outward focused. Specifically awkward and cringe things I've done in the past, and the intrusive thoughts were more self flagellation regarding what I'd done and oh god why didn't I think that through with a nice dash of it'd be so much easier to just end it all on bad days. If that doesn't fall under the umbrella of intrusive thoughts my apologies, feel free to ignore the rest! I work with folks in the medical profession, and there was a psychiatric fellow who really enjoyed my second hand smoke and would hang out with me and we'd chat on cigg breaks. When I described what I was experiencing she was like, "Oh, yeah no that's fine, not normal mind, but not anything to be concerned about. It's when the thoughts start getting voiced inside your head by ones that aren't yours that you need to start freaking out." Long as you're aware that it's not a rational thought I'd suggest doing your best to accept it and move on. Worrying at what's going on tends to make it worse, whereas having the thought pop up, accepting that it's an odd notion and not fixating on "where the hell did that come from?!" tends to make them less frequent in my experience. EDIT: Having finished the video, I would suggest not blaming yourself for thinking the thoughts. For me at least? Intent is what matters the most. You didn't try to think those awful things about your friends, they just popped in. You're not going to act on them. From what you're describing it sounds almost like what Sweet Anita experiences (Tourette's Syndrome), minus the actually doing it part.

[@fixelish]

I never comment on videos... but yeah I wanted to comment on your video just to say a massive fucking thank you, I watch every video you upload and they make me feel so much less alone

[@niamhira]

I'm afraid of eating liquid food in cafes or restaurants because of the thoughts that it's easy to drop something harmful in a liquid. Even drinking tea I didn't prepare myself became so stressful! And I know it's just my anxiety, and that the cafe staff have no interest in poisoning me or something, but still it sends me to panic 😢

[@DanaAndersen]

It’s one of those things my anxiety brain totally understands, despite also knowing it’s very very very very very unlikely to happen, so like valid, but also I don’t want to validate anxiety 😅💕

[@Station737]

Every time I watch a movie with a romantic or dramatic moment, I imagine one of the character farts in the silence 😂 It's an intrusive thought that is almost a stim.😂😂

[@heedmydemands]

That's hilarious. Doesn't kill the mood for u?

[@nimrodgrrrl]

I have OCD and autism. I relate to a lot of this. That’s all I can contribute to this one (late though I am!) I hope you’re able to get some clarity soon re: the possible OCD diagnosis.

[@katiephillips5110]

I’m so glad you do what you do. Your content is so helpful and relatable. You are a wonderful human 🍻

[@gmlpc7132]

Very good video on an important topic. I have many of the same issues. Bizarre superstitious-type thoughts are a particular problem. I often have this idea that if I am "lucky" in some way I will be repaid by something awful happening - but the bad that will supposedly happen is always far worse than how I benefitted. This never works in reverse - I never think that if I have bad luck it will be balanced out by something good to follow. If I'm feeling good or optimistic (which doesn't happen very often) I worry that I am "tempting fate" and will suffer a deserved downfall. None of this makes any rational sense but I can't help thinking it. I also sometimes have nasty, vindictive or disrespectful thoughts, including about people who certainly don't deserve them. These are really hard to admit. In the end we can't control what's in our minds and what pops into our heads. What we can do is control our actions and if someone does good things that is ultimately what matters. Such a person is far better to be around than the person with pure, happy and very rational thoughts who does bad things.

[@gmlpc7132]

@@artemisXsidecross Very well put. I'm also reminded of the words of philosopher Bertrand Russell: "If we were given the power to read other people's minds the effect would be to dissolve all human friendships."

[@DanaAndersen]

Oooh I feel you, i think I’ve just become quite a cynical person at this point, so I don’t allow myself to get excited for or look forward to anything, because it feels guaranteed to fall through or go wrong if I in anyway let myself feel good about anything 🫠 Totally in agreement that our actions and the things we choose to say are the things that we should be judged by, if we’re going to be judged at all!

[@gmlpc7132]

@@DanaAndersen Another maxim that dominates my thinking is "be careful what you wish for" and there have certainly been cases where things I really wanted turned out bad. While there's some merit in that idea - "don't get your hopes too high, don't get carried away" - it's not good to feel unable to take pleasure in things in going well or even have the bizarre intrusive idea that they've gone wrong as "punishment" for enjoying some good news or event. These sorts of belief are hard to shift no matter how irrational you know they are. Maybe it is "how we are wired".

[@aaacomp1]

This is common. I've experienced the same exact things. A random guy in a bar tried to start a fight with me for no reason once years ago. Well, about a year later i ran into the same guy in a different bar and then he tried to start a fight with me again. I wanted to beat him up, to teach him a lesson, but I also literally saw red while it was happening. But I controlled myself. I started having thoughts about wanting to unalive him. I would get a random thought about him and then I would focus really hard on the thought of it. Well, a couple of months later I found out that he died a few weeks after that last encounter. Had a heart attack in his kitchen and his girlfriend found him on the floor dead. He was like 29. I literally felt like I had manifested his heart attack.

[@emilyg6193]

you actual legend x

[@joylox]

I have ADHD, and I've been dealing with the same things. A lot of similar kinds of intrusive thoughts. I heard it dismissed as being the impulsive side of ADHD, but I think it must be something else. I was told that I likely have autism, but haven't paid for a test and initially my doctor thought I had OCD instead of ADHD. I sort of learned to ignore it and just let the thought come in, and come out, just like a breath in and out. I'm not sure if there are other things that help or not, but it can be very uncomfortable.

[@brooke_reiverrose2949]

Absolutely loved the kitty noises so much ❤❤ Intrusive thoughts are common with all kinds of conditions I believe? Ptsd, anxiety, depression

[@heedmydemands]

Ok quick couple of questions: does your bedding have astronaut cats on it? If so that is awesome. And also what is the mannequin for? PS love your videos

[@dana8657]

This was a very helpful video to me. Thank you. 🙂

[@DanaAndersen]

💕💕💕

[@deesparklebazinga9374]

I used to struggle walking over tall bridges due to thoughts of wanting to jump. I defo experience moments of what suddenly feels like rage with dreadful thoughts. It does sound like your mums comment set you off about the drummers death. I realise I have internalised stuff from childhood and find my brain feeding back nasty crap using other people's language (that I've heard). I often struggle with feelings of not being a good person because of my thoughts. These days I feel flat most of the time otherwise I'm agitated and frustrated with everything which results in sadness and guilt xx

[@niamhira]

I still struggle with bridges, any bridges 😢

[@mazky]

Not sure exactly how to categorize it, but I do have some need to complete things. In some way treating even enjoyable media as a "chore" that must be completed/finalized. Didn't always do it, and that kinda created "gaps" that's getting filled as I work through a kind of backlog. It sounds like some casual thing, but in the event it wouldn't be possible, it will severely annoy me and take up a good amount of energy to process or whatever. The brain is a weird thing. Possibly a bit different, but it's what came to mind.

[@DanaAndersen]

A bit different, but still in the same realm of things. I get what you mean to a degree, if I start watching a movie I HAVE to finish it, I had so many meltdowns as a teenager when my parents wouldn’t let me for whatever reason. It just felt like there was some huge empty part of my brain that couldn’t be filled again until I finished it 😅

[@Daniel-pp3jt]

To me it sounds like the thoughts you had were intrusive in how they kept coming back but psychotic in terms of the nature of the beliefs, very typical of people I know who have had psychosis. Sort of constantly attaching extra meaning to ordinary events. That just seems more psychosis-y to me. From what I've read about common intrusive thoughts with OCD it's more like, "I could kill that person over there" sorta thing. It's more like bullying yourself with this idea that you're this evil person or that you could theoretically cause harm to yourself too. I'm probably oversimplifying massively here. This is just my intuition and what I know from reading. I am in no way a professional on this. In case you didn't already know, psychosis is usually a part of other conditions rather than it being a stand alone thing, so you can get like, psychotic depression, psychoptic anxiety, psychotic bipolar etc. Keep making videos Dana! :)

[@DanaAndersen]

I think with the other things I mention later in the video it’s more OCD with autistic pattern recognition and some very stressful situations that were pushing me to breaking point kinda thing. That being said, thank you a lot for your comment, I feel a bit less nervous and untrusting of my GP given what you’ve said about psychosis, I can see why he would want to see if it was that, and as annoyed as I was I did go into it open minded and honest, and was told it’s not that! Anyway, this comment is getting too long, thank you again, im so crap at researching, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such an educational comment!

[@Daniel-pp3jt]

@@DanaAndersen After I made this comment I worried that it sounded blunt. The word "psychotic" in particular has negative connotations so I hope it didn't feel blunt. It was late at night and I couldn't think of a more delicate way to put it 😅 I've heard a lot of people talk about psychosis and it's often theories regarding things they've seen or heard, giving those things meanings that they don't have. I often feel like I'm being followed and think strangers are planning to attack me, so in a way I understand it. For me I call that paranoia. I wonder if on some level the reason you weren't diagnosed with psychosis is because you clearly question these thoughts. You're somewhere between certain and uncertain when it's happening, so maybe that influenced the decision as usually but not always, people with psychosis tend to feel certain about their theories... I think this is a silly distinction in a way though because the Taylor Hawkins thing clearly caused you distress and deserves support of some kind. That thought in particular might be a bit OCD though because it ties into this idea that you've done or are someone terrible, which is what OCD can make you think. I've had it myself and think autism causes it. I hope you don't feel ashamed about it. It's very common to have thoughts like this. I can think of a handful of people who have had them. I've watched a bunch of your videos recently. Keep going x

[@lunar_proxy]

ocd can actually include more "psychotic-like" intrustive thoughts (like the cat one) and a whole lot of magical thoughts (which the taylor incident clearly was- thinking that op caused his death due to her indecision on whos concert to attend. prime magical thinking), and it'd still only be considered ocd (possibly ocd with psychotic tendencies, depending on). ocd is VERY broad and is a spectrum in itself. you're right that psychosis can be a part of most other existing conditions, though it can totally be a standalone thing

[@Catlily5]

I would agree that people are drawn to watch things. Because you are interested in it or maybe it reminds you of something.

[@DanaAndersen]

Absolutely! The documentary I was talking about meant it in a much more sort of fate/psychic energy sort of way that’s specifically there for certain people, and that’s what I’m personally a little more skeptical of 😅

[@Catlily5]

@@DanaAndersen Yes, I knew what you meant. I just thought it is true because of interest or experience instead of psychic reasons!

[@Catlily5]

@@artemisXsidecross Do you realize that 7 out of 10 autistic people have a mental illness? Not all mentally ill people have delusions? Go educate yourself.

[@shmeleu]

After reading Carlos Castaneda's books, you can start paying even more attention to coincidences. But at school, I definitely controlled with my mind who the teacher would ask in class. ADHD probably has a stronger effect here: there are always a bunch of absolutely random thoughts in my head. 95% of which are not mine :-) BUT just in case, knowing those "not mine" desires, I have never tried drugs, so as not to go out the window, jump overboard the ship, etc. Even knowing that so called "High Places Phenomenon" is a common thing. But intuition is more likely an affect of autism: it arises from constantly guessing what others want from us. I guess Intuition may seem very similar to an Intrusive thoughts. So it's probably a mixture of autism and ADHD.

[@BipolarCourage]

Intrusive thoughts are not necessarily OCD. Seeing meaningful patterns in unrelated coincidences is attributed to bipolar disorder by my clinicians. You had mentioned that diagnosed bipolar?

[@DanaAndersen]

I went through some of the diagnosis process for bipolar, but the doctors chose to not continue once it was clear it wasn’t a diagnosis that fit for me.

[@BipolarCourage]

@@DanaAndersen there is overlap in various diagnoses, and they can change, which is why I don't make any into my entire identity. Anyway, to answer your question, intrusive thoughts don't necessarily mean OCD. I get them sometimes (more anxiety & trauma related but not OCD).