2:30 No Mark. No, none of us were wondering why you're doing it now. It's specifically BECAUSE of the scrutiny and public debate.
@realtijuana59982 жыл бұрын
"Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell." ― Edward Abbey
@evatripp77882 жыл бұрын
And all U.S. Socialpathic/ Psychopathic businesses. They are drug addicts and always FEEL THEY NEED MORE MONEY & POWER!!! What they ACTUALLY NEED a HUGE DRUG INTERVENTION by OUR CONGRESS, OUR LAW ENFORCEMENT & MOSTLY the AMERICAN PEOPLE!!!
@martinlarson91382 жыл бұрын
@@evatripp7788 q
@somethingclever45632 жыл бұрын
Great quote
@chuck52792 жыл бұрын
Agent Smith's Corollary: "Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment; but you humans do not. Instead you multiply, and multiply, until every resource is consumed. ... There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern... a virus."
@somethingclever45632 жыл бұрын
@@chuck5279 Ha! That was the first place my mind went too lol
@Lucius19582 жыл бұрын
*"I never metadata I didn't steal."* - Mark Zuckerberg
@pemdechen63002 жыл бұрын
Oooh..... Good one!
@EmpyreanLightASMR2 жыл бұрын
I never metadata didn't buy dinner 4
@MsShellectable2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg looks like he's been taking his "act human" lessons seriously.
@smartiee742 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@Lord_Ronin_The_Compassionate2 жыл бұрын
Perhaps, so why is he still failing so badly?
@axelfoley1332 жыл бұрын
To be fair, the lessons are computationally complex and involves a recursive, adversarial algorithm looping through countless iterations to optimize the behavior for maximal reciprocation.
@Surge10772 жыл бұрын
He still has a long way to go.....
@nataschavisser5732 жыл бұрын
Also came here to comment that the lessons clearly didn't take.
@laalaa99stl2 жыл бұрын
Metaverse: to take your mind off how badly we effed up the real one.
@annmarieknapp2 жыл бұрын
Nice one!!!!
@Chunkboi2 жыл бұрын
Wouldn’t the Metaverse be effed up faster?
@petergodfrey86102 жыл бұрын
The writers are killing it!
@timeless2152 жыл бұрын
i agree! todays monologue was so fun
@karenwhinesmore93472 жыл бұрын
Absolutely 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@JoelHernandez-yl6yw2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing!!! 😂
@jessejameskaine2 жыл бұрын
Hit and miss.
@gabitron1822 жыл бұрын
Right!!!
@ericawentz27342 жыл бұрын
“We are going to be the metaverse first. Not Facebook first. But don’t you worry, the self esteem of teenage girls will always be last!” Stephen and his writers are tragically accurate!
@QueenofNonSequitur2 жыл бұрын
Best writers on TV!
@durmuskucuk77482 жыл бұрын
You are right
@jefschobert97652 жыл бұрын
That's why in order to endorse changing a products name, tampons changed their name to zuckerbergs
@marylamb77072 жыл бұрын
It's nothing new. It's been around for years and years.
@shahannahbreedlove49442 жыл бұрын
@@jefschobert9765 good one!!😀
@thelexicon72942 жыл бұрын
So, Zuck just sat there thinking of the most ominous-sounding company name straight out of the darkest arc of a dystopian comic series, huh?
@kcmichelson45282 жыл бұрын
Even social media has to be a Cinematic Universe lol
@skoll_20242 жыл бұрын
"When someone tries to tell you what they're like, listen"
@MTMF.london2 жыл бұрын
Is it my imagination or Zuckerberg looks like David8, the android in the Alien franchise?
@kristinLB2 жыл бұрын
After being on Facebook for 10 years, I Deleted it in 2019 and never looked back. Now I’m even more glad I did!
@frankys18202 жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@frankys18202 жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@Vraii252 жыл бұрын
to put in simple term for gen z... facebook is Meta gaming
@ba177ba182 жыл бұрын
you are not the target market
@injunsun2 жыл бұрын
It's still a relevant way for us shut-ins to converse with the world.
@carolyngarman14222 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best I've ever seen. It expresses our frustration and the utter insanity of the current situation in a histerical way.
@gimmedimmy65332 жыл бұрын
An hysterical way*
@carolyngarman14222 жыл бұрын
@@gimmedimmy6533 glad someone can correct my grammer
@amphoteric17292 жыл бұрын
In official English grammar, ‘a’ should go before a word starting with a consonant (all letters in the alphabet except the vowels) whilst ‘an’ should go before words starting with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u). However, in some English dialects that don’t pronounce the ‘h’ in many words (e.g. Cockney English), then ‘an’ can be used because the ‘h’, a consonant, is ignored. In most major dialects (Commwealth English, American English), “a hysterical” is correct.
@gimmedimmy65332 жыл бұрын
@@amphoteric1729 Mine would be that dialect. I'm not American. I know it's archaic English but it's just a preference. I probably should have said "A hysterical" given it's the most commonly used phrasing but I just wasn't that invested until now lol.
@didntlistendad2 жыл бұрын
@@gimmedimmy6533 maybe kinder and in better keeping with the fun mood to focus on the ideas offered and not a tiny surface error?
@randolphphillips31042 жыл бұрын
So the selling point for "Meta" is "illegally stream a concert to your friends without them buying a ticket and paying the musicians and crew".
@mwilson78422 жыл бұрын
Oh no. The end of live concerts?
@randolphphillips31042 жыл бұрын
@@mwilson7842 No more so than pirating killed recordings, but still stealing.
@andrewrlitster99662 жыл бұрын
100% I worked for security at a powderfinger concert and the band , made security had to stop any filming of the concert. It w was tuff getting 3 eryone to put there phones down.
@DeAnne12332 жыл бұрын
Updated Napster plan. Ya know, that one his friend tried before getting sued and shut down. Bye, bye, bye…
@anthonyitaliano73162 жыл бұрын
I don't think that's what it was portraying. You're not going to be able to project a 3D virtual world with your phone just because you're there at the concert. It's more like the band will have the technology setup at the venue so they can charge people to watch it virtually.
@Bejunckt2 жыл бұрын
This is the funniest monologue in a while 😂 Some of those good old satire-punches are back.
@heyheytaytay2 жыл бұрын
"I don't want to TALK ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE..." that was truly visceral, Stephen.
@socraytes2 жыл бұрын
He doesn't have to talk about it, *but* he loves that paycheck so he does what he's told.
@karenwatkins6552 жыл бұрын
I feel it too, Stephen.
@OlEgSaS322 жыл бұрын
@@socraytes so...any job on this earth then
@vironx222 жыл бұрын
As a dad whose son did start having a British accent after he watched peppa pig, he truly hit the nail on the head.
@caitlinburke51842 жыл бұрын
My child did too.
@telectronix13682 жыл бұрын
I've said it before but Peppa Pig is the UK's retaliation for Barney.
@caitlinburke51842 жыл бұрын
@@telectronix1368 barney was a menace. Melted my brain as a child, it was torture
@y_fam_goeglyd2 жыл бұрын
@@telectronix1368 my kids (we're British) all refused to watch Barney. All did it individually, they were either not interested and would toddle off, or would cry! I was hoping that once my granddaughter had got past the Peppa stage I'd never need to see it again (she's a brat! Peppa, I mean), but then my daughter had another "surprise" two years ago. You should see my Xmas list for her... I'm in Peppa up to my ears!
@missybarbour68852 жыл бұрын
This happened to me with a show I watched as a toddler called "Kipper". Started calling gas "petrol"
@amyavital12362 жыл бұрын
In Hebrew the word Meta means “dying”.
@leogama34222 жыл бұрын
Seems fit then
@jordanlazaruk47752 жыл бұрын
Wow
@missgolgistain58012 жыл бұрын
But who will it be? We or them?
@blessingomoyemen17592 жыл бұрын
In Yoruba(Nigeria) it means three or threefold
@petedog95812 жыл бұрын
When you are getting too much bad press and are on the verge of being regulated, you launch a new name platform. It is like the furniture store that has liquidation sales every year and comes back with new names.
@Mandrake5912 жыл бұрын
Best monologue Colbert’s done in ages!
@cathieludemann58792 жыл бұрын
With Facebook and Zuck, he had a lot to work with! 😄 Great job, Stephen.
@edezagon2 жыл бұрын
The crowd was lovin’ it!
@lorrainethomas87972 жыл бұрын
Almost like being back in the storage closet.
@roshnipatel15902 жыл бұрын
I agree. He was hitting it out of the park today!
@MonarchRigel2 жыл бұрын
ah yes. the "that was Facebook, we are Meta." defense.
@davidlickiss16092 жыл бұрын
Aannnnddddd...... Mark will be the CEO of Meta and someone else will go to Congress to testify as the CEO of Facebook
@ElPayasoMalo2 жыл бұрын
You US pulled that with France. After France went into debt fighting the British for the US, and then overthrew their royals based on the example set by the US, the US had the balls to tell France that since they aren't technically the same governement that helped, then the US doesn't owe France anything.
@fredherfst81482 жыл бұрын
Trying to stay ahead of breakup that's coming
@maryelizabeth67972 жыл бұрын
It will be used.
@OzzieTheHead2 жыл бұрын
lol, obv that would not hold up in any court
@Seahorse04182 жыл бұрын
I wish I could have “liked” every joke. I think this might be the best monologue ever.
@Rimmsolin2 жыл бұрын
Seems like Colbert is really on top of his game and enjoying himself.
@randyeisensmith14832 жыл бұрын
I have a good suggestion for a new name for Facebook - "Cesspool"! Truth in advertising!
@thesubhumancomedy2 жыл бұрын
pimplecalendar eyesite readingwhile - now one handed.
@jaydub55152 жыл бұрын
You're a Wizard, Henry... That's why Colbert is King
@TyrSkyFatherOfTheGods2 жыл бұрын
On FIRE tonight!🔥
@PraiseTheFSMonster2 жыл бұрын
Well, his writers.
@maskedmarvyl47742 жыл бұрын
You can thank Joe Manchin for the death of the most progressive part the plan that would have aided poor people; he's also the one who blocked taxing billionaires, because those are his donors. Thanks, Joe. Meanwhile, West Virginia, my mom's home state, remains one of the poorest in the country. Manchin's voters can thank him for keeping then that way.
@JamailvanWestering2 жыл бұрын
Not just Joe, blame it on Corporate and Moderate Democrats, especially Sinema
@brentsdadgets26582 жыл бұрын
I live in northern WV, and I have been calling and writing Manchin’s office constantly. He doesn’t seem to understand that all of these social safety net programs would benefit WV more than almost every other state. He wants to rip all the green jobs out of the bill because he doesn’t own any of those. Coal companies, though…
@GHinWI2 жыл бұрын
I blame Sara Gideon, Jaime Harrison, & Theresa Greenfield
@dannywalden70632 жыл бұрын
@@brentsdadgets2658 me too
@dannywalden70632 жыл бұрын
@@brentsdadgets2658me too
@BootCampSpecimen2 жыл бұрын
“Why? It’s just the Blue Origin rocket” haha!!
@neiloflongbeck57052 жыл бұрын
In the UK we keep renaming schools from X Secondary School to Y Academy to distance the school from it past failings. Same location, pupils and teachers, and quite often same buildings. But it does create a new set of data on performance.
@celticcheetah63712 жыл бұрын
Ha yes. I taught English in a seriously rough school in East London, which had 3 names in the three years I worked there. First change was because some of our kids got recruited into ISIS and became jihadi brides, second change because four of the five most senior teachers (including the head/ principal) were caught giving kids the answers to GCSE maths exams/ tampering with exam papers afterwards and were fired. The final straw for me at that place was when a horrible girl squirted hand sanitiser into an autistic boy’s eye during my class. He, quite reasonably IMO, punched her in the face. School suspended him and did not punish her in any way, because they were frightened of her father, whose response to his three children’s consistently awful behaviour was to constantly threaten to sue the school, which he did actually do earlier that year over a violent incident with another of his kids. So I had the utter f*cking indignity of sitting in a “restorative justice” meeting where the Head of Behaviour MADE A JOKE to the girl about how she should “leave your hand sanitiser in your locker from now on”. Didn’t matter how nice the new logo was, by Name Three it was still an arrant sh*tshow and I’d had enough. Phewf - it appears I had stuff to get off my chest there ahaha. Sorry for the essay 🤣
@craftergin2 жыл бұрын
So the “meta verse” is basically a reboot of Second Life.
@MichaelFlynn02 жыл бұрын
cue boner storm
@armandomercado22482 жыл бұрын
AKA "Get a Life"
@jayweh2 жыл бұрын
what's second life?
@JayPeG._2 жыл бұрын
@@jayweh VRChat
@TheMyrmo2 жыл бұрын
@@jayweh A video game from 20 years ago.
@LizzyMcD2 жыл бұрын
“I don’t want to talk about this bs anymore”. Stephen Colbert. I totally agree
@yesloow2 жыл бұрын
Stephen's "Do it or don't do it! I'm Out!" about congress and their incessant hemming and hawing is exactly how so many of Americans feel right now. If anybody at my work spent so long doing absolutely nothing, and then never compromised with co-workers on projects, and basically ignored 70% of the client's input and wishes, that person would be out of a job. What are these people in Congress doing? They want pats on the back when they pass a bill? Get over yourselves, congress!
@Seldomane2 жыл бұрын
When Zuckerberg did the outfit thing I swore Stephen was about to do a 'skeletons in the closet' joke.
@steverogers65722 жыл бұрын
Zark Muckerberg lmfao
@MildMisanthropeMaybeMassive2 жыл бұрын
Or a Karate Kid joke.
@tweaker1bms2 жыл бұрын
Or something about Mr. Pumpkins
@SpaceForceCommander2 жыл бұрын
Matt Gaetz is going to use that word often - “Meta? I hardly know her!”
@grahamcampbell82972 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha!
@timbeaton50452 жыл бұрын
Meta Gaetz?
@mr.mrs.d.70152 жыл бұрын
Hahahaha
@annmarieknapp2 жыл бұрын
:)
@stevencahn40192 жыл бұрын
"By far, bigger than any bill passed to fight climate change before..." Sounds impressive, until you consider what a low bar that truly is.
@Vespuchian2 жыл бұрын
I still fully expect to hear "After months of argument, debate, negotiation, and multiple rewrites of one of the most extensive reform bills in US history, Congress has finally agreed to... do nothing at all."
@pd48872 жыл бұрын
I just realized zuckerberg has that non blinking long stare that only psychopath and sociopaths have.
@bonnieb92382 жыл бұрын
Yep snl makes fun of it all the times. The skits are funny
@SeansMusicVault2 жыл бұрын
I know, right? 😨
@mnichols19792 жыл бұрын
Reptiles really don't blink much
@jbarnhart26532 жыл бұрын
And actors, if you blink normally, you look nuts... Howard Stern made fun of an acting video (Michael Caine) he had bought before his movie, on Letterman. "Ha ha, this is so stupid, he says just stares and stares and..." In the movie...did exactly what Caine said, rarely blinks and works at "closing" his eyes instead. Zuck just paid somebody to watch the video... "And?" "DON'T BLINK" "Gotcha..." Same in commercials, even Stephen when his doing a bit or setting up a joke. The Zuck is just bad at it...
@steven08372 жыл бұрын
...and corporate billioinaire's
@warpedjaffas12 жыл бұрын
In the metaverse a shark eats Zuckerberg when he's water skiing with ole glory
@Sylfa2 жыл бұрын
50% emission reduction would still leave usa as emitting 85% more greenhouse gases per capita than Sweden does in 2021. It's not precisely impressive when usa who has been the top emitter for ages until not too long ago is improving themselves to still not being better than other countries. Still, have a participation trophy 🍹
@jaguarrose70222 жыл бұрын
When you're used to getting NOTHING anything can feel like a lot but this bill is grossly inadequate. It's been so painfully watered down. It's sad.
@TehLucario2 жыл бұрын
Thanks Manchin and Sinema for keeping us all screwed for going to college.
@raggedcritical2 жыл бұрын
Look, buy a coal mine and maybe Manchin will see what he can do for you.
@bbirda12872 жыл бұрын
@@raggedcritical Or outsource a pharmaceutical company and send American jobs overseas. He might pay you a million dollar bonus!
@marvinmartion11782 жыл бұрын
But they're corporate masters are happy!
@alexdasliebe53912 жыл бұрын
Oct 28th they’d not said they’d vote “yes”. Head of The Manchin Crime Family & Petulant Child are standing in the way of Biden’s agenda.
@Toneloke-30002 жыл бұрын
Thank the Supreme Court for selling out this country, our politicians, our infrastructure and now they're working on our rights. Do you ever notice how there's always at least one obstructionist for getting anything non-corporate done? It's by Design.
@bravo-932 жыл бұрын
Oh that guy is hilarious even pulled Blue Origin into this mess. I’m cracking up lol
@haveagoodday57372 жыл бұрын
When Mark says "full eye contact shared sense of space" look over his right shoulder. On that shelf is a bottle of barbecue sauce WTF😂
@chapablo2 жыл бұрын
"we were put on this earth" hits different when Zuckerberg says it.
@krejados12 жыл бұрын
Well, I guess... if he has the power to reshape the world, he may as well claim the right to determine why we're here.
@shadowsun57042 жыл бұрын
🛸
@Montesama3142 жыл бұрын
"We were put on this earth to create... A WAY TO CONQUER YOUR PRIMITIVE SPECIES. We will do so without firing a single shot."
@Metalbass100002 жыл бұрын
I've never had a Fakebook page either. I've never felt like I was missing anything. Still don't.
@x57752 жыл бұрын
Yup... F#@k Facebook!
@Viking_Niels2 жыл бұрын
Metalbass10000 Because you have no friends in real life.
@AloisAgos2 жыл бұрын
Well you are missing social inferiority, hate speech, batshit conspiracy theories, awesome life stories that you will never live, and of course grandma pestering you why you haven't added her as a friend yet.
@Viking_Niels2 жыл бұрын
@@AloisAgos Who wan't a grandma and mom who lied about who cannot find out who's ther real dad is? - If i was in my homeland, I've shooted myself for long time ago, since I am on country with restrict law of weapons, I am still alive. - Haven't your mom or dad ever told you: never judge a book by it cover?
@malcolmxxx862 жыл бұрын
@@AloisAgos been on fb since 2009 and all i see are my friends posts, and some food and music sites...nothing political or anything else that many people are seeing...not sure why ... also ,same goes for the friends I actually keep in touch with regularly...I've found people I grew up with or went to school or worked with
@LLO2272 жыл бұрын
Good God I love this man's enthusiasm!!! Stephen tells it like it is!!! We're all tired of this government pending items falling from the vending machine hijinks!! enough already
@craigburghardt86042 жыл бұрын
"Speaking of theoretical magical universe where things might happen one day . . . Congress" Segway mastery!
@duvessa20032 жыл бұрын
“River. What river?” ❤️ u Stephen Colbert. Comic genius!
@NewMessage2 жыл бұрын
'Bipawtisan'? The dogs aren't the only ones dropping steamers on the carpet, I see.
@laalaa99stl2 жыл бұрын
I've never Meta Zucker that I didn't wanna punch.
@nikobatallones2 жыл бұрын
I present to you Zucker from Animal Crossing. :p
@SpaceForceCommander2 жыл бұрын
Everyone wants to Zucker punch him.
@warpedjaffas12 жыл бұрын
I think Zuck isn't as smart as some folks think he is. Facebook is like Google's poorer aunt. He's no Musk or Gates. He got lucky, moved to fast & broke to many things, without thinking of consequences.
@MIIRAPOSA2 жыл бұрын
I thought this was an antisemitic joke at first
@kimesch96982 жыл бұрын
Do people recognize how talented this man is. Wow, he was really on tonight.
@kaiozab48662 жыл бұрын
How old are you, 50?
@RogerHerzler2 жыл бұрын
We’ve already seen this. It was in Ready Player One, and it’s called OASIS. “I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn't know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life, right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it's also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real.” - Ernest Cline, Ready Player One
@patsylvest2 жыл бұрын
One of Stephen's best monologues!
@MrFancyFingers2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg is the king of cringe.
@susanfrancis54712 жыл бұрын
I think zuck shaves his forehead
@smiller20442 жыл бұрын
Jorge of Albion not sure about that... "Ted" Cruz is also top of that list...
@carolwilson55462 жыл бұрын
Eeewwww, yes!
@AdrianColley2 жыл бұрын
Or "kringe" if you will.
@mikeballew32072 жыл бұрын
@@susanfrancis5471 and eyebrows apparently?
@breakkid1442 жыл бұрын
so this "new" metaverse thing, is actually just vrchat.
@auroraofclanborealis2 жыл бұрын
VRchat without what make VRchat good
@MarioDarnadi2 жыл бұрын
Metaverse is not new... it was here before VR chat, right now just Zucc needs to make virtual world so he can act like he has friends
@sadscientist99952 жыл бұрын
Those plain avatars they showed in meta trailer... you know people are actually gonna be running around as big t1ts sonic.
@sleeve90972 жыл бұрын
true
@abram7302 жыл бұрын
It's a meta of VRChat. The portals go between different games, and you can bring things between them. You will be able to work remotely.
@ThisCharmingMan19842 жыл бұрын
It’s quite disconcerting, just how much that Zuckerberg video, looks like something you’d see in a dystopian science-fiction film; complete with an animatronic simulation of how actual humans function, in the ZuckoTron5000, that doesn’t quite get the simulation right, and indicates that something much darker is going on underneath the overly shiny exterior… It does rather feel like we’re currently living in, what will eventually be known as, the “Before Times”; every time I think “Yep, this has got to be as bad things can possibly get”, it’s like reality sees that as a challenge.
@heyheytaytay2 жыл бұрын
We all know that changing the name of a notoriously evil company always works #blackwater
@tadnanny45112 жыл бұрын
Wait y'all didn't even show Jon after that? He couldn't have been like, "I know that guy!" and then they clap for Jon.
@kindabluejazz2 жыл бұрын
Showing Jon right then might be perceived as a tie-in to CBS/The Late Show officially endorsing the Zuckerworld. Jon must have personally licensed that clip for the Meta ad fully independently of CBS.
@tadnanny45112 жыл бұрын
@@kindabluejazz Ah, that makes a lot more sense now. I couldn't figure out why then of all times they wouldn't celebrate their friend.
@blaizel37482 жыл бұрын
@@tadnanny4511 He's not their friend just the token black guy
@MIIRAPOSA2 жыл бұрын
@@blaizel3748 There is....more than one black band member in the show..
@RoninMike-DR2 жыл бұрын
@@MIIRAPOSA he's still "the token black guy"
@vgaportauthority99322 жыл бұрын
I'm here for the drummer getting his grove on with the tambourine. Hells yes.
@matttheking16552 жыл бұрын
This monologue had me rolling......😂😂😂
@NewMessage2 жыл бұрын
That Avatar looks much more realistically human than the actual Zuck.
@gamepapa12112 жыл бұрын
👏👏👏👏
@warpedjaffas12 жыл бұрын
Zark Metaerberg of the MetaFacebookverse would find this insulting
@vforwombat99152 жыл бұрын
because it is.
@brianhard18412 жыл бұрын
The new logo is copied from Australia's Australian Broadcast Corporation's logo and has been so ever so long. Although no one has drawn as they have on Zuck's as his sucks?
@scratchy9962 жыл бұрын
I can only imagine how hard those aliens are laughing at us. They sent an android that looks nearly human to our planet, and he almost took control of our civilization.
@yankeeladee022 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg: “All that damage I caused…Mehhh, doesn’t META.”😏
@warpedjaffas12 жыл бұрын
Perhaps in the metaverse he fronts Congress instead of going sailing?
@heatherallen22362 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg sounds like a Real Housewife... "We need to keep moving forward this season"
@w.d.g.2 жыл бұрын
Stephen is a genius; "Dr. Horsey's Microchip-Resistant, Ball-Shrinking, Anti-5G Suppositories."
@eigensinn832 жыл бұрын
Angry Yoda: "Talk about this I don't want any more! There is no try"
@WorldNeeds9112 жыл бұрын
Yes, the rich and bored are constantly wanting new "toys" to play with. Mark is sure loving "playing" with real lives.
@thatthingthatisaid652 жыл бұрын
Why hasn't zuck blasted off into space yet?
@sorasorisora2 жыл бұрын
he's the master of the real Squid Game
@injunsun2 жыл бұрын
@@sorasorisora Nah, that's Bezos.
@Taijifufu2 жыл бұрын
I mean...a Quest is subsidized down to 300 bucks. Don't need to be rich for that.
@phriedokra61582 жыл бұрын
Like playing Army with real live moving Army pieces....
@LeftIsBest0012 жыл бұрын
Mark 'Meta' Zuckerberg is a defective Nexus 5 replicant. 🤖
@zainlookboonmee2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg literally talks like Trevor Noah's impression of him.
@dunnbrandon2 жыл бұрын
so, Mark, here’s a new concept, how about, “Actual Reality”
@richiejohnson2 жыл бұрын
Well, Brandon, your name's time has finally come! I checked your profile, expecting a recent account.
@lostandwastedtime2 жыл бұрын
Reality is overrated.
@GHinWI2 жыл бұрын
Harder to monetize actual reality
@abram7302 жыл бұрын
Fly me to Mars and have a cartoon give me a lap dance on Mars. Can reality do that? I'm 45 minuets from my job, but rent is getting crazy, so I'd like to move 2 hours from my job, but I want you to cut the commute time to 1 minute so I can spend more time with my family. Can reality do that?
@MrPhotodoc2 жыл бұрын
$1.75T is about as much as the Pentagon spends on a couple aircraft carriers. Don't see much coming from that.
@elfsong7132 жыл бұрын
Nancy Pelosi is parading out and saying, you'll take these crumbs and you'll like it!
@paulfoley93702 жыл бұрын
@@elfsong713 Please, because the Republicans, including Sinema and Manchin, won't let us actually pass anything.
@bjornsantens90302 жыл бұрын
And less than the 2T $ ...which was the bipartisan tax cut (mostly for the top 1%) from the Trump government
@elfsong7132 жыл бұрын
@@paulfoley9370 News flash: Nancy and Biden have the same corporate donors as Manchin and Sinema. They were only pretending to fight for us.
@elfsong7132 жыл бұрын
@@bjornsantens9030 The trump tax cuts which the Biden administration has now made permanent. Happens every time. Same thing happened with Bush and Obama.
@brhwork2 жыл бұрын
Spot on! The best monologue to date. Thank you for the delivery.
@longlivedemocracy7562 жыл бұрын
Stephen’s monologue was on 🔥 tonight! 😆
@arcturionblade10772 жыл бұрын
Magnetic balls means no more clangin' around.
@Darknamja2 жыл бұрын
And the ability to always be pointing to true north.
@akb55312 жыл бұрын
Is suckerburg a real person? He came across as a total automaton trying to be a friendly human.
@KristiContemplates2 жыл бұрын
Sociopath/psychopath is the leading theory amongst the masses
@darinasilvaz7302 жыл бұрын
My fav part of my morning! These are on point every single day!
@dougvandyke13852 жыл бұрын
This was so well done, keep it up Colbert team!
@alex35agm2 жыл бұрын
Zuckerberg says being on Meta will be like being in a room with other people,or what people used to do before social media.They met,they talked,they flirted,and sometimes got married.It was having a life.
@LVArturs2 жыл бұрын
cringe. give me the black mirror version already.
@RoninMike-DR2 жыл бұрын
Plot twist: Zuck was showing us the real world and we are inside his simulation.
@laurenpinschannels2 жыл бұрын
VR chat is that already and it's great, Zuckerberg wants his control back and that's why he's making something to destroy VR chat.
@0BucketMask02 жыл бұрын
Yeah, cause I can just walk across the ocean to meet my friend in England for lunch. Maybe I'll invite my German buddy, too. He can backpack across Europe in time for tea.
@abram7302 жыл бұрын
VR is the first tech to allow social interaction remotely. Funny because we have social media companies, LOL. Social media taught people how not to be social, but now social is being released for social media, so people can learn to be social again. Now that is the meta joke.
@jasonarthurs38852 жыл бұрын
I still assert that Facebook's name change is to avoid pending legal troubles.
@alexdasliebe53912 жыл бұрын
Oh, I’d not heard that . As an added thing: good luck explaining to Granny that the name is changing.
@StellaMariaGiulia2 жыл бұрын
Facebook changing name is the real equivalent of Bond villains telling their evil plans: they started out ranking your face and now they're more about profiting from your metadata.
@melissaandrade25792 жыл бұрын
Who doesn’t love this man? Lololol! Colbert your awesome!
@mariesia05252 жыл бұрын
Facebook trying to pull off a Ye.
@bbirda12872 жыл бұрын
To meta is to game the game, I don't think Zuckerberg is that Overpowered yet. Fingers crossed, get on it Antitrust busters.
@aspektx2 жыл бұрын
"Who you gonna call!"
@williamcrisp60322 жыл бұрын
They 'll get on working out how much bribe money they'll ask for to just ignore everything
@saltdaemon44532 жыл бұрын
Bret Spiner has to wonder if Zuck is really Lore.
@agrey8322 жыл бұрын
1:35 C'mon man, that joke was genius!! Should have gotten more laughs 🤣
@lambdamax2 жыл бұрын
Ahh yes... rebranding instead of restructuring the business model. #progress
@cynthiaromero26582 жыл бұрын
Rebranding so much cheaper.
@SpaceForceCommander2 жыл бұрын
Oh Stephen, didn’t you know that just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in?
@HarvestMoon20492 жыл бұрын
Gosh. I keep bumping into your comments. And when I read them, I hear Zapp Brannigan's voice. 😂
@alaskanstrat66182 жыл бұрын
3:13 , top right corner , is that a bottle of BBQ sauce he is using as a book holder ?
@mesmartgnome2 жыл бұрын
My dog dropped his toy when Stephen said leave it 😂 😂 😂
@nadiavoun71372 жыл бұрын
Well, Mark's skin still fits fairly well. Even though he doesn't blink like a real human.
@injunsun2 жыл бұрын
#V
@mr.wonderful47372 жыл бұрын
i heard its stuffed with money to make him look young
@Lucky_Chase2 жыл бұрын
That's because he sleeps on thin slabs of tofu.
@Lucky_Chase2 жыл бұрын
@@mr.wonderful4737 It's stuffed with his "styles!". Then he starts making explosion noises, and wanders off to fight his imagination.
@mr.mrs.d.70152 жыл бұрын
Lol yeah but the scalp cap is slipping back
@batgurrl2 жыл бұрын
Stephen you are on fire here🔥🔥 It’s moments like this when I miss Evie sitting off on the side cracking up instead of the audience.
@faykouri11622 жыл бұрын
🤣😂🤣Colbert you are fantastic!
@indigowolf5562 жыл бұрын
That was freaking hilarious loved it
@shorezee12532 жыл бұрын
VitaMetaVegamin
@warpedjaffas12 жыл бұрын
He only called it Meta because the Borg was already taken
@mamapetillo86752 жыл бұрын
I Love That
@moetarded77572 жыл бұрын
Metadata is what they call your information. Fancy pants rebranding.
@jackbarry71552 жыл бұрын
“LuvOx” is a Classic.
@fattmusiek54522 жыл бұрын
around@11:40 , the upright bassist is bopping sooo hard.so great
@IsThisHandleTaken2 жыл бұрын
"no paid family leave"... gotta make sure America stays in the stone age eh Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema
@marvinmartion11782 жыл бұрын
You have to ask they're corporate masters that question.
@Coni20092 жыл бұрын
Genuinely surprised that paid maternity/paternity leave isn't a thing in the USA. I genuinely thought it was universally recognised as a 'good thing', I honestly can't imagine what people have against it
@potatowithgooglyeyes24582 жыл бұрын
@@Coni2009 people are just greedy for money
@FlowerGirl.MN502 жыл бұрын
Keep us poor and struggling.
@NewMessage2 жыл бұрын
Wow, Mitt... you finally found a way to break Ted's spirit.
@margo33672 жыл бұрын
Does he have a party to go to, or is he just dressing up like a little kid?
@gmmg87342 жыл бұрын
This is like that episode of South Park where Cartman fuses with a trapper keeper and just grows into an abomination and never can be destroyed
@ReezeGoingSenseless2 жыл бұрын
"less than half of the original plan" No, way less.This started out as 6T$, not 3.5.
@michaelwardle76332 жыл бұрын
I still can’t get over the goddamn BBQ sauce on the bookshelf.
@vgaportauthority99322 жыл бұрын
It's the sauce of the leak. I stole that joke from reddit.
@abram7302 жыл бұрын
Can't have a book burning without some sauce.
@user-ll7zc4hw6g2 жыл бұрын
Definition of "meta": (of a creative work) referring to itself or to the conventions of its genre; self-referential. "the enterprise is inherently “meta,” since it doesn't review movies, for example, it reviews the reviewers who review movies" Self-referential - yeah, that's Zuck.
@zesty98152 жыл бұрын
Meta: also a brand of slug poison.
@amberandrews68422 жыл бұрын
In Hebrew it means dying
@melanieevans88602 жыл бұрын
LAUGH OUT LOUD HILARIOUS!!!
@DaMannDC12 жыл бұрын
Great monologue tonight! I'm a daily watcher and this one was fire!