Are Trans People Harder To Love? | Kat Blaque

[@KatBlaque]

PC Users, Copy and paste the emoji here: 🥰 Timestamps for people who need them: 0:00​ Introduction/Catchup 2:08​ Setup 5:31​ My Partner, Self Sabotage and Love 11:27​ True Intimacy 14:29​ Trauma and The Wall You Build 20:40​ Love During Transition 24:49​ Conclusion

[@qwandary]

Yay now we can be in the cool club! :P

[@camelopardalis84]

Or - and please hear me out on this - we try if "windows key" + ": ;" works for an emoji keyboard to show up. If it does, we don't have to be copycats who copy Kat.

[@UndiCreator]

Omg, I just included that emoji in my before the vid comment 😁

[@lynnes1864]

🥰 Oh, that's how you do it.

[@lynnes1864]

@@camelopardalis84 😊

[@stoodmuffinpersonal3144]

"Stuck in the trauma of yesterday, hard to accept the love of today." Oof. Solid point, Kat

[@stoodmuffinpersonal3144]

I forgot I made this comment, cause I had only watched this much at first. But, it really is true.

[@elenakalliste]

Yes. So real.

[@kate2late91]

Too relatable

[@ThisOnesOptimistik]

Cis Black woman here, in love with a trans white woman. I loved that you mention being manipulated and feeling unable to be truly loved. Strangely enough, part of how we connected was through that pain of having past relationships or social environments where we had to perform in order to be seen, yet alone liked, and the transactional nature of a lot of those interactions. For me it was performative Blackness as the token minority, and for her it was toxic frat masculinity. The resulting intense insecurity and suspicion of others’ motives had led to so many unnecessary arguments where we projected past experiences onto each other. Thank goodness we were patient, and learned how to communicate without internalizing or projecting because otherwise we would’ve missed out on what’s become a wonderful partnership. Love your work, thank you for your soulful content. 🥰

[@MzRachel]

Such a beautiful story thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

[@stoodmuffinpersonal3144]

Thank you for saying this, and making me cry beautiful, ugly tears lol

[@veganboundary5390]

A lot of us trans folk have a hard time loving ourselves after being beaten down by transphobic experiences. We're devalued and stigmatized, and treated like a sexual commodity. It's fraught for a lot of us to accept love. We put up those barriers, and it takes effort to convince us to lower them. Have I done this? Yeaaaahhhhhhhhh 🥰 But I'm working on it, I'm helping my other trans friends work on it, we support each other and we love each other, and we have those platonic bonds even if our romantic lives are still on hold during the pandemic!

[@duskxdawn347]

Amen

[@INAN2222]

❤️

[@Xxsorafan]

When she talked about mentioning that she’s trans to turn a guy away, that hit too close to home. I didn’t fully realize that’s what I’ve been doing and how awful that is for me.

[@dannybeeson5084]

It's easy to be vulnerable when you're naive. When you've been hurt or abused it's a tremendous act of bravery to allow yourself to be vulnerable again. Acknowledge that the fear is rational, it is, and do your best to face it head on.

[@harryportfelikartakredytow8907]

@@Xxsorafan Same... (I'm not trans but using other stuff to "defend myself") and do you also feel even more threatened when the guy expresses acceptance towards what you've just said? Just asking because I'm curious, that's what I feel, it's like "yeah that is a totally unlovable part of myself that people have pointed out to me many times, if he says he's ok with it he must be lying in order to use me and leave me broken" :/

[@KathaK4th]

I just need to point out how cool Kat's thumbnails are. every. single. time. always very creative and eye catching. i mean it is a known fact that she is a great artist but i needed to mention it again.

[@INAN2222]

❤️ Indeed! Artistic brilliance! ❤️

[@fluuufffffy1514]

Yeeeeeeesssssssss!

[@edenabraham1103]

I’m a cis woman but I related to this on an emotional level. You carry your trauma around with you (especially sex related trauma) and it seeps into everything. It can even disguise itself as just doing the smart thing. It’s tricky because sometimes being guarded in the beginning can really be the smart thing. The “grown up” way of entering into a relationship. Going slow I would say is the smart thing. Young love burns hot and quick and then it’s over. You give yourself totally to someone right away and end up devastated. So certain boundaries are important for a healthy relationship. However denying yourself true affection by building emotional walls as a defense mechanism isn’t. It protects us. But after awhile it hinders true emotional understanding and love between two people. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and half. And I can feel myself wanting to love him. I can see a future with him. But I’ve kept him at a distance in my heart. And I’ve tried to only show the sides of myself that I feel are the best. Obviously after so long ones true nature peaks through. I know mine has, but it’s still hard for me to believe he could truly love me at my worst. Or even just truly love me in totality. Like you we’ve had deep conversations about it and he’s stuck it out. Not only stuck it out but affirmed me in every way. Unlearning all of habits I picked up over the years for my survival and sanity is hard. Those habits served me at one point. But now they are just getting in the way. Learning to trust your heart and embrace that 14yr old girl who believed in love almost feels foolish. But it’s been nice reconnecting with her. Allowing this experience to heal some of my past trauma has also changed me. I’m a softer person that I was before I met him. That counts for something right. Lol looooove the vid tho☺️ Side note it’s crazy that people try to make such divisions between trans ppl & cis people. I constantly look at your channel and feel validation & my own story reflected. I think if people were more willing to look beyond the word trans they would see it too.

[@millsykooksy4863]

🥰

[@Sophie-fx3tq]

My experience too 💓

[@amandareynolds-gregg5962]

Hard same! I am cis but definitely relate to putting up barriers around myself to protect my little heart.

[@eugeniac9190]

It doesn't always have to do with men or past romantic relationships, personally, I come from a war zone-like household and at this point I'm so tired of suffering that I'd rather keep myself from being vulnerable. I will always give love, because I know I'm authentic, but when it comes to receiving and or accepting others' love it's difficult.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

Yep. Not only am i a transguy (obviously things are different but we face similar oppression) but i come from battlefield like home. My poor bf has his work cut out for him. 😂

[@squishish]

Agree. A lot of my trauma is actually from past "friends" and it affects me so uniquely compared to my other traumas... man. Shit sucks, ugh. There is a reason I only have two friends.. One of them is my boyfriend, so I suppose if you discount him i have 1 friend. I want more but I find it really hard to trust that they'll accept me at all, in literally any aspect. Or if they'll think I'm too sensitive I get upset because they hurt me. I hate it so much dude, I just want to make friends with nice people. :( also: hey, I'm really sorry about your home situation. I know it doesn't help much, but I know how that can affect people(not me personally) and I'm really sorry you're going through that. I hope you're doing okay today and that some good things come by to balance out your stress. Much love

[@baguettegott3409]

Oh how I hate that "If you don't love yourself, how can you love somebody else?" thing... I hear it so much that I guess there must be something to it, but it just feels like an evil prank the universe is pulling on me. Like, wow, you already hate yourself? Well let's make that worse by making you feel lonely and unlovable, and there's absolutely no hope of getting out if there until you magically learn to be okay with yourself. Like that's gonna happen anytime soon. I'm not into men, but I sometimes worry that if a woman were to tell me I'm beautiful (or something along those lines), I'd melt into a puddle on the floor and then obey her every wish until she leaves me. But honestly, I think it's much more likely that I would not believe a word. Find a reason why it doesn't count, coming from her, and shut her out. But I don't know, because it's never happened.

[@millsykooksy4863]

That phrase annoys me too

[@PhishbowlTV]

@@MaejorArray I felt like you just punched me in the chest with this one. I broke up with my ex because of a similar revelation that I had. Towards the end of the relationship, the arguing got so bad that I realized that I couldn't be the person she wanted me to be. In reality, I had to realize that maybe I wasn't capable of being the person I thought I should be or better yet what I thought society is supposed to view me as. Like I couldn't live up to her expectations because that's not who I actually am. I was lying to myself that I could be who she wanted because so many times when I was dumped, it was because I wasn't what my exes wanted. I was convinced that I was never going to be good enough for anyone. It's part of the reason why my dating life has been quiet for over 2 years now (that and the pandemic). I'm just afraid to be me a lot of the time because I'm so used to being rejected beyond the romantic level. It's hard to handle the idea that you're not everyone's cup of tea and there's nothing wrong with that.

[@PhishbowlTV]

🥰

[@cgg2621]

I think you can believe someone is being sincere when they say this but still totally disregard it as being meaningless. The last person who said it to me in a romantic context absolutely believed that he loved me, but his definition of love was totally useless to me because he was incredibly abusive. No amount of me pointing out how incongruous this was made him change his behaviour or rethink the idea that he loved me. So the next time someone claims this, I won't necessarily think they are lying, but they will have to prove that this love is something that either has value to me or at least isn't actively dangerous for me to accept.

[@Dionnnnz]

🥰 tbh even as a cis gay male i find it hard to accept compliments much less when someone claims they love me. It must be way harder for trans people tbh. Isn't it sad our defense mechanism for survival ends up harming us instead

[@SoularSlothesk]

As a nonbinary person, I definitely relate to not believing when someone says they love me. Even more so, I find it difficult that people could be *genuinely attracted* to me for who I am since my exterior does not accurately reflect my interior EVER. So I am in disbelief and perpetual confusion due to people constantly misgendering me or discounting my feelings either because of that or perhaps an extension of my gender identity or expression somehow. Can't love us if they can't truly know us, right? But yes, they can. And we are deserving of that love~ 🥰

[@qwandary]

I feel this. I'm just glad I'm panromantic, as my personal conclusion has been that cis hetero-leaning men, Especially white men, aren't capable of loving me because they have too many layers of attractive privilege between their eyes and me, and they never seem to actually see me, even in years long relationships. So I'm just not bothering with them anymore.

[@ccdiez8326]

As a fello nb .. Honestly good , never believe men! Theyre always just after an experience . I call it the boring life crisis. Kinda like a mid life crises when men want a sportscar. Men in a boring life want someone they see as exotic for the experience.

[@k8g8s8]

I left a much longer and more emotionally charged comment by you summed my feelings pretty well.

[@lindas483]

i was looking for this comment omg, thank you for wording it so perfectly!🥰

[@aidou97]

Yeah, I'm a guy and I don't think I would ever be open to dating a nonebinary person.

[@sindraxo9249]

🥰 I have SO much to say on this topic that I can't possibly fit into a KZbin comment. So I'll try to super shorten it. I think it's fair to say most trans woman deal with a fair degree of insecurities and trauma, especially early on in transition. That combined with the way society portrays love in relation to trans woman (basically we are here for sex and that's it), I find it a completely natural conclusion that trans women are guarded when it comes to love. In my own experience, my first love was a 2.5 year long unrequited love. Looking back I was essentially led on so he could get a kick out of my affection. I realized after my feelings faded that I never even considered that he could love me back to begin with. I was just happy to love someone else because I couldn't love myself. Unfortunately I can't say things have gotten better. Any romantic encounter I have had with men since is just them wanting to sleep with me. I think at this point I'm so guarded and distrustful of love and affection, that I'm just trying to convince myself it's not real and I don't need it. It's a struggle to say the least. In the interest of not making this too long I'll just leave it at that. 🥰

[@KatBlaque]

I think all trans women who date men feel have had a relationship that never leaves their apartment.

[@TheEniBody]

I think it started with my parents. Their love for me has always been artificial and superficial, but I learned from them that love was just a word that didn't mean anything. My dad would say he loved me but would scream and make fun of my until I cried, and to this day sends me threatening emails that end with "and remember i love you no matter what! -dad" My mom says she loves me but isolated me and refused to teach me to drive so I could do things myself after we moved, refused to drive me to the only clinic that provided HRT, accused me of being the reason my sister would hurt/kill herself, allow her friend to physically threaten me while she did nothing right beside him. She said its all bc depression and she has no energy, but she magically has energy to have fun with her boyfriends, abandon me to go all the way to Italy from the US Midwest, babysit for her friends. But for me, I'm too difficult and the fun stuff will eventually help her so I should get off her back. So I learned that only OTHER people get love and are important, but when people say it to me its as if nothing has changed at all. It's just a word. Dating is extremely difficult bc it doesnt fit into my reality that someone would like me enough to protect me or help me or want me. Those are all things I have to do for myself, and that these people just don't know me enough to figure out they actually don't like me at all. So that's the life I live basically. It's all I know, and it's painful sometimes bc it's lonely but I'm use to it. I recognize these patterns and I've started therapy but it's going to still be hard for a while. "Love" is such an empty word to me it makes me cringe, I've slammed the door in someone's face bc it felt like they were teasing me when they said it. And I don't want to live like that anymore, I'd like to be able to take or leave love as it suits me. Not reject it as soon as it's anticipated. 🥰

[@aaronpoole5531]

Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you've had such a rough deal with love from other people in your life. Just wanted to send some genuine love and support from somewhere else in the world ❤

[@SonjaPond]

Hey, I want to remind you that you are worthy of love. There is nothing innately wrong with you. You are not bad. And you deserved better than that. It wasn’t fair, the way you were treated. You deserve better. And one day you will feel loved, protected, secure, and safe. ❤️

[@eyeamstrongest]

my dads like yours, its a godawful experience esp knowing the people who brought you here against your will also dont like you cause you didn't turn out exactly how they wanted you to

[@Spookymerbabe]

As a fat person, deep down, I never truly believe that people actually love me. Or they fetishize me and I feel like an object.

[@Enysum]

I'm transmasc (somewhere around nonbinary or ftm, still not sure) and weirdly, I'm actually MUCH more prone to instantly, 110% believing someone saying they love me. I've been in mostly good relationships with one nasty and lengthy abusive one - I was told I was loved a lot more when I wasn't out and passed as a "girl", and those kinds of crushes on me plummeted after I came out. I'm not sure if this is part of invisibility in masculinity in general or if I just look like shit now lmaoooo but I WILL say that trauma for me at least, made me a lot more needy for that kind of affirmations. You could ask me out while I was getting a tooth pulled and I'd probably go "🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 aw shucks really "

[@nelumboandrews6762]

Transmasc and same

[@canonicallykayfabe]

Commenting late so thisll get lost, but I wanted to share. I'm a 16 year old trans guy. I came to a new school in a new area trying to go stealth but unfortunately got outed by a massive transphobe in my year that I went to my primary. Back in year 9, when that happened, it was totally devastating, as many boys that I liked weren't willing to date a guy at all, let alone a trans one. Because of this, "dating" became sort of a joke to me. My best friend (who is nonbinary) and I would make jokes about "haha what if we dated this guy or that guy wouldn't that be so crazy" - after we came back from Summer last year, of year 10, everyone seemed pretty different. The big group of "lads lads" who the guy who'd outed me belonged to had disbanded, and many of the outward transphobes no longer came to school. One of the girls who'd been in this group came out as bi, two boys revealed they'd been dating this whole time, and one guy - who we'll call Jamie - did a full one eighty. He went from being the most politically active of the bunch, a "facts don't care about your feelings" racist transphobe to being an even more politically active trans rights and blm supporter. I didn't know this, as I don't often use social media. So I was terrified to be sat beside him in biology class. This year, he started flirting with me. He would make nerdy jokes all the time, get flustered when I laughed, constantly try to initiate political discussions with me, and then, once, offered to carry all of my books home for me when covid came round, despite the fact that he lives in the exact opposite direction. I think, in a sense, I've ended up in the same situation as this. He's trying to drop all these hints, and I believe them. He's super cute and sweet and always supportive, but I can't help feeling he's either just being friendly or he's leading me on. Tl:Dr: male former Ben Shapiro wannabe is now flirting with my trans guy ass and I can't help feeling like its some sort of joke.

[@joycelinlgbtq]

Y.ou have good reson for your mistrust, but sometimes people do actually change. Especially when they're young & naïve it takes a while to grow into being a worthwhile human being. Maybe just ask him outright what made him change his attitude? If nothing else comes from this experience, you can at least be this guy's first proper introduction to a trans person - and if that's positive it will help all the future trans ppl he will meet.

[@canonicallykayfabe]

@@joycelinlgbtq I'm not worried about the political end of it. We've talked about that a lot and he said that he always tries to take a science based approach to things, but over the summer, through online forum discussions he discovered that the science supports trans people, and also that transphobes are generally also people with very little backing up their points.

[@sontaranmc2109]

@@canonicallykayfabe have you talked to him about this? It sounds like the kind of thing that’s good to communicate.

[@canonicallykayfabe]

@@sontaranmc2109 not really. I'm fairly awkward, and I don't wanna make any assumptions lmaob

[@sontaranmc2109]

@@canonicallykayfabe still, it sounds like he’s at least trying to be friendly. Regardless of if his intent is platonic or romantic, it’s probably good to communicate to him that you recognize his progress, but still have some lingering mistrust that isn’t currently his fault, you know? If you want a positive relationship with him of any sort, that kind of communication is generally beneficial.

[@SelfxMade32]

"and you don't even want to get caught giving a chance to the bad men because you'd look like a fool" 👏 yes

[@liyahmeridy7997]

The legendary Jenifer Lewis says something related to this (I think). She said: "Love yourself, so that love will not be a stranger when it comes."

[@Sausageandeggs]

I fell madly in love with someone who would tell me they loved me all the time. The kind of love where you have a genuine deep care for someone, when you adore them and truly want nothing but the best for them, to be there for them, and treat them like their your favorite person in the world. And yet, one of the worst and most painful feelings I’ve experienced is finding out that same person didn’t actually ever love me and was merely lying to me to get want they wanted out of the relationship. I honestly don’t wish that amount of pain on anyone whose never experienced it. 😔

[@Pafemanti]

🥰 Wow, 12:28 ... "I felt like I wanted to love him too, but that I had been guarded too much to open myself up to feeling that way fully." 😭 Who else noticed Kat swallow as she said that?

[@tayxxmonster]

I was crying less than a minute in so it took me down again 😭

[@rayne333]

given the much higher rates of abuse & assault that we experience, i don’t think it’s surprising that so many of us have trouble trusting someone to truly love us. i wish i wasn’t so damaged & traumatized, but i’ve been mistreated by the majority of the people in my life that were supposed to care for me. it’s hard to move past that & allow someone the power to hurt you again. sorry this was such a downer, i’m glad to see you happy in a good relationship kat 🥰

[@hsohliyt]

I have felt and sometimes do still feel the feelings you feel. Even as a lesbian woman. I did question the women who want/wanted to date me. Especially as a larger woman. But within the last year and this year I've been open with my figure,I don't hide it at all. I make sure you see all of my "flaws". And that makes me feel sexy. What makes me feel sexy isn't what someone else thinks,it's what I think. It's the boldness of putting on a short skirt and a strapless dress with my thick thighs and large arms. I'm no longer hiding my body and I love it here🥰

[@DahVoozel]

"It's hard, keeping your heart open. It makes you vulnerable, but it doesn't make you weak." - Perfuma, on calling me the fuck out.

[@rochellerodriguez6431]

It's such an emotional roller-coaster for women who are attracted to men. It's swings from hey men can be so cute to men ain't shit lol. So happy you're with someone who truly sees you and loves what he sees. 🥰

[@hyunaglazer]

When it came to the true intimacy minute, and you talking about how he said he loved you and meant it I already was tearing tf up bc my ass be EMO. And the second you said "but" I already knew what you were going to say next, almost word for word. I can't tell you how much this has been on my mind, both consciously and subconsciously. Even with meaningless crushes, nowadays I'm starting to disallow myself the simple joy of liking someone even from afar, and it fucking sucks ass 😭!! Seriously though, jumping to the hypersexuality vid to this vid, and relating to a lot of these insecurities and schemas adapted by these experiences has jst HIT ME so hard. I love you Kat, for once I feel like someone sees me and they don't even have to know me, and my socially anxious ass couldn't be more happy bout it LOL. You're an angel girl :')

[@kohl1722]

I feel this whole video a lot. Like, my brain doesn't understand the idea that me with all of my things could be loved. My brain is like, you're 1 traumatized 2 a trans dude 3 feminine and 4 bisexual, who is going to be willing to deal with all of those things at once in one person??? And I feel the self sabatoging, the using of my identity to try and get people to stay away bc of basic parts of me. Its hella sad and I've struggled with it for a pretty long time. Love your content 🥰

[@ziggy5246]

This is so helpful Kat thank you! I’m trans and my partner and I have been together for 8 years (married for 4.5) and he’s just opened up to me that he misses intimacy with female presenting people and I took it at first very internally and went on a whole rabbit hole of feeling like not enough for him. We’ve since had wonderful conversations and we’re both in the same mindset now and hearing your experience with being guarded makes me feel less alone and guilty! Edit: fixed a typo

[@meh_im_a_sheep6018]

How did you deal with this information? I know i would just play that over and over in my head. I know no one os at fault, but it still would make me feel very shitty (thats one of my fears in relationships. Not being enough because im someone they arent use to)

[@ziggy5246]

@@meh_im_a_sheep6018 honestly, I’m very much still dealing with this - only started talking about it last week. Basically I just shared and continue to share all of my feelings and hurt that I’m feeling with my partner and being as transparent as possible. The more we both open up about everything the less guilty we both feel! When we got married I was presenting and living as a woman so it was a big fear of mine that my transition might end our marriage but luckily we are both invested and in love with each other that we are happy to adjust and adapt as we see needed along our relationship. I also told him that hearing verbal affirmations are supremely helpful in dealing with my fears and he’s been doing so much to make sure I still feel loved. All that, and therapy lol

[@meh_im_a_sheep6018]

@@ziggy5246 im so happy for you. Really. To have such an amazing partner. It's so rare for partners to stay after the trans person comes out. You guys seem to go in the right path, but if you need to, maybe couples therapy will be a good option. Having a neutral person there helps sometimes. Have a great day, and remember, you are awesome!!

[@ziggy5246]

@@meh_im_a_sheep6018 Aw thank you so much!!!! I definitely am so lucky, both of us are really - we’re lucky to have the friendship we have within our marriage and such a strong relationship 🥰 thank you! We actually have been going to therapy together now for a while! During the Telehealth times it’s been more one on one but funny enough actually today we’re setting up our sessions to do together! I also think couples therapy shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing, there’s a lot of stigma that it’s “admitting defeat” or whatever but that sounds like some toxic bullshit. It’s there to help for a reason and if you’re both open to trying to make things better and make things work then it’s a blessing in my eyes! It helps that our therapist is the coolest person ever lol and also I’m on the spectrum so just communicating in general can be tough for me, no shame in asking for help!

[@meh_im_a_sheep6018]

@@ziggy5246 Honestly, its these kinds of comments that make me seriously happy. I'm so grateful to be in a community of people that are actively trying to better their mental health and breaking the stigma around it. Thank you for the response to my comments. It was really insightful and hopefully, if i have have that same problem, ill manage it as good as you are now.

[@Dani-sn5hs]

"Let me get them before they get me..." there were so many parts in this video I connected with but this part right here hit hard. I'm a cis woman and I remember when I was very young I lived my life this way. More than a decade later and with a lot of help I realised I set my self up for disaster even though I was trying to protect my self. I learned healthy tools along the way and no longer live my life this way. However, I still have trauma and some of it is also new. I'm in a new relationship and have been struggling with triggers of a past abusive relationship. For example, I took a weekend for myself for self care and my gut reaction to communicating that to my new partner was "get ready for a fight he's not going to understand". What happened was that there was no fight and he completely understood which was jarring to me. I think we shoukd try to have an open mind and heart while still protecting ourselves one day at a time. We should try to be easy on ourselves we've been through so much trauma already. I also look out for when their words meet up with their actions and if those two things don't it's a red flag. Look out for red flags and be easy on oneself that's my solution. Thank you Kat for everything you do 💕🥰

[@Malta_]

Ahhh the mortifying ordeal of being known... As a trans person that isn't really out yet, I definitely see myself sabotaging every relationship I have (even platonical ones/friendships) out of fear of the reaction and possible rejection I will get, even from people I have concrete info that they would be accepting and totally fine with the real me. Amazing video as always :)

[@SelfxMade32]

A great fracking sage 😂

[@satya4234]

That line was amazing, lol.

[@robhatesyoutube]

🥰 a man will watch u cry in his apartment every day and be like "huh wonder what that's about. not me, that much i know. hope she chills out soon..."

[@roxanneconner7185]

I LOLed at this

[@robhatesyoutube]

@@roxanneconner7185 yay :)

[@drasco61084]

Damn this just made me think of my parents when I was a kid.

[@daphnewalker7673]

this made me reflect of how I've been thinking of love. i sort of thought of love almost as a charade, love being a type of status symbol. like in a materialistic and performace way, something that's obtained to show off to others. I'm in a place where I'm allowing myself to go out of my comfort zones, but every time i have any level of intimacy i feel ok in the moment but get really afraid for days after. the idea of love scares me because i feel like it's temporary and fake/painful long term. i don't want to be tricked into something fake and be a fool for thinking it's real.

[@electricshock4806]

Honestly burst into tears at 'when you tell a trans woman you love her she's less likely to believe it' God its true even for me as a trans man

[@waysofreasoning]

Perfect timing 🥰 I'm on break before my next class, can't wait to hear your thoughts

[@magn0liaflowers500]

Same!

[@queentati3101]

Same

[@niseeo1201]

🥰 I'm a young trans femme person and this video was completely calling me out. I'm in the most loving and fulfilling relationship I've ever been in but I still struggle to accept the love. I'm still relatively early in my transition so I really feel incomplete and very visibly trans, which isn't a bad thing but leads me to be harassed or just made uncomfortable, which is why I find it odd someone so beautiful would love me. I'm starting to embrace the fact I just need to be patient with my transition and everything in life, I'm a Uni student lol, and accept that things will come when it's supposed to. So all of your videos, have made me feel a lot less alone since an older trans person has these same feelings and similar experiences, the main differences is I'm really ✨Gay✨ and genderfluid. Hopefully as a get older and through therapy I can learn to accept the love I'm being showered in completely and not feel so bad that they love me as much as they do.

[@elidom388]

i'm ftm and in a committed relationship with another trans guy and it's so nice. just the ability to have that similar experience of being raised female as a child is something really hard to describe to people who weren't and it's hard for me to relate to cis men the way i can relate to trans men. just the mutual understanding and acceptance that comes with loving another trans person is so liberating

[@minashelley9740]

🥰 I recently had a cis woman start flirting with me. It caused a sort of crisis because many of my previous experiences with cis women were them pretending to be interested and then using that to bully me, them dating me breifly and then choosing someone else over me. My last relationship before coming out was with someone infected with TERF logic. Currently this is coupled with me not being able to find the local lesbian community and the lack of trans lesbian representation in media. Right now I feel that if I am rejected by this woman it would be a blow to my identity as a woman and as a lesbian. This makes things really tough right now. Also I am worried about if I do find the lesbian community locally that I will be the only trans woman present.

[@juanv4939]

Not trans, but i’ve dated men so i feel this 100%.

[@CreativeReptiles]

Trauma has definitely destroyed my love life as transman. Im still trying to work through it but i definitely have self sabotage myself for the last 10 years. Great video on this topic. 🥰

[@MangoBased]

🥰 I've never heard someone describe intimacy the way that you did, so after hearing that It really makes sense to me why I have such a hard time feeling close to new people that are interested in me or I'm interested in. Crippling social anxiety doesn't help either 😕

[@stephaniejunca1641]

🥰... Being a survivor of sexual assault as a young child, I dealt with this issue my whole life. Especially in my teen years... I didn't allow people to get too close to me because I 1. Could never be sure if they were honest and real and were just trying to lure me into hurt me; and 2. Whenever I did allow people in, I found ways to self sabotage by immediately noticing all of their flaws. Now that I have been with my partner for almost 6 years (married for 1.5 of those years)... I know that it is possible to find real love. I still struggle with old habits; but because I am aware of it, I do my best to stop it. We talk about it a few times a month though as a check-in, and we've gone to therapy together and I go on my own as well. These behaviors are so hard to stop once they're formed at such an important and formative age though.

[@narcissistwhisperer]

The thing that made THE difference for me was understanding codependency & how the roles interact. Once I had a good understanding of the concepts, I could see the roles play out in situations I observed. It also provided me the education to manage men that approach me with manipulation. Education is key. The world is literally overflowing with garbage human beings that are always looking to take advantage of someone. Knowledge places one in more advanced perspective. Now when men approach me, I hear their words & then watch their actions. Do their later words & actions match how they approached me? If not, they are cut off.

[@charlotteboy6783]

Im not Trans but I literally had this conversation with my bf a few days ago where he said he was worried about me and I was genuinely surprised that he cared about my well-being.

[@vikkile]

Another great video as always Kat ❤️ I remember being so amazed by people accepting and loving me, like it’s so foreign to me because I usually don’t expect that from people, like that’s not what we usually see growing up, act of kindness towards trans people. But at the same time i feel like I’m rewarding them for doing the minimum. Idk it’s rather complex accepting love as a trans person from my experience.

[@harleenvanblair5229]

This conversation is honestly very important for both trans people and cis people who have connections to trans people. I have tried to date but I started to notice this pattern of guys who would switch up the convo when I mentioned I was trans. It has lead me to engage in very uncomfortable situations where I did things that I wish I didn’t do or meet up with people that I later regretted meeting. Now, I’m at a point where it would be nice to have someone but I need to focus on myself. However, in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been more longing for that connection and it hurts because not many people that I interact with understand where I’m coming from. Many say just wait for it or don’t look for it while possessing the privilege of not having to worry about their safety because of their gender identity or who are used to being the people that everyone wants. They think that because I am young, things will magically get better when in reality, I have a hard time believing that. Being trans will not change with my age. It will be a trait that will follow me for years and tbh, the world is still far too prejudiced about trans people to make it even remotely safe to explore.

[@araweelougaasobarwaaqo3332]

🥰 I definitely suffer from that problem. A lot of internalized transphobia, which is even harder to deal with when you weren't aware you were trans and you didn't understand why you were being taught certain things. Messes with your self-esteem and ability to forge and maintain relationships. 🥰

[@thetreacherousleech8990]

I think I'm struggling with the same thing but for me it's gotten to a point that I fully isolate myself from possible relationships because I am so very aware of the risks that come with them. I've seen a good few of my friends and family get absolutely ruined by a bad relationship and since I am still in a vulnerable position I don't see myself opening up to those risks anytime soon either. For me the real struggle is knowing how beneficial a good relationship could be for me in my situation but also knowing that if it goes wrong I could end up straight back at square one or worse.

[@classycolas]

🥰 For me, it was harder for me to accept love/love myself pre transition compared to now. It feels like transitioning opened up that door for me and I’m really not sure why/how tbh

[@alys1127]

Big mood, to me its like I had to accept my self and because it took a while to realize and admit I am trans personally felt as if it was an act of self love to come forth living my true self. And to have to come to terms of these physical changes that i almost have to put on public display become harder to hide but it feels way better than before transitioning, gave me the feeling of confidence in a way. Like shit Im doing this an the euphoria is happening for real

[@FinntasticMrFox]

🥰 I'm a bisexual trans man, but I lean toward other men, and have definitely encountered similar issues dating as an out transgender person as I did when I was living as a woman dating straight guys. I naively thought it would be different to date in an mlm context, but found it was very much the same; that men tend to fall hard and fast based on surface attraction alone, and conflate intensity of attraction (and in some cases, desire to possess) with love. I ran into far too many men who viewed me as a novelty or item on the bucket list to really trust when any of them expressed sincere feelings. In my experience, men seem to have a far greater tendency to commodify people they're interested in than women or non-binary people do, and I think that's multiplied tenfold when you're trans because of the way our stories and identities are framed by society. Thankfully, I found my person, and scary as it was at first, it was such a relief to be able to fall in love again, and trust the love he expresses in return.

[@vday16]

Im so happy that you've found that kind of love in your life cuz you deserve it! I relate to what you meam when sharing that "ugly" intimacy with your partner. I have dyspraxia but i can hide pretty well but it requires me to police myself a lot in public which can be physically and mentally exhausting. I remember the night i told my boyfriend after 3 months of dating. I broke down in tears assuming he was going to leave me soon after since it's happened in the past or guys just thinking im making up disabilities to be more "interesting". He's stuck around to my surprise and even tries to educate himself learning disabilities so he can understand me better and be patient when my dyspraxia effects me. My own parents never even did that for me. I don't know it just feels so cathartic to let your mask off around someone you love and just feel safe.

[@joycelinlgbtq]

I expect men to want to fuck me but not desire a relationship with me, or not want to go further than platonic friendship; so yes it is a bit shocking when something like that happens. Especially because a declaration of love & a desire for a relationship IS SO DAMN RARE. I think its fine to have those kinds of ego-defensive barriers but also its important to recognise when they arent needed. And always talk thru the insecurities with the good partners.

[@brynmcclennan973]

This is the first video of yours I’ve seen. I just want to say I love the way you filmed this and your lipstick. Also, as a straight cisgender woman this was so interesting and informative to me. Thank you for sharing your experience 😊

[@jmanna5650]

Your bashful and enamoured description of your 1 yr love is sweet and lovely to behold. You deserve that.

[@squee1139]

I’ve played with and gone on enough dates with men who turned out to be chasers, so I relate to this hard. It’s really hard to trust people’s intentions. Though now, like you, I tend to be read as a cis woman most of the time, and the insecurities more come from “how do I tell them? Can they already tell? How are they going to react? What’s the safest way to bring it up with them?” Good video as always 🥰

[@PrettyPettyJoMo]

Wow this hurts so much because it’s so true. Like I have been mentally drained from dating apps and even walking outside getting that false attention from men to use me for some purpose. That I just feel like sabotage myself is easier to do. Like is anyone else confused about one person on if they were crappy or if they were a bad man. I’m going on 6 weeks of unadding and cutting a boy completely off and I think he’s a bad guy but I keep thinking about him and I’m wondering if he was not all bad I’m not sure. Thank you for this Kat💗💗💗

[@kaliora7047]

🥰 I'm a cis woman but some aspects I definitely relate to. I grew up being bullied by peers, mostly for being visibly autistic, and in my early teens that sometimes took the form of boys pretending to like me and be interested in me to lead me into a position to be humiliated later. It took me a long while to be able to trust when someone actually liked me because I just assumed it was going to be a trap somehow.

[@heatherbarrier1718]

I am completely with you on the men saying all these wonderful perfect things then treating me like shit. Which made me learn a hard lesson and made me somewhat cold. Lesson being to trust actions not words and the coldness being that I don't let my walls down until they show me consistently that their words and actions match...because of that I come off cold and often viewed as not worth the effort which only reinforces that men lie when they open their mouths

[@heatherbarrier1718]

That part where there are girls that don't understand healthy relationships because their whole dating existence has been abuse and shit. That's me all the way....I don't believe that I will ever be truly loved in the way others are loved. And because I believe that I'm positive I've sabotaged the chance of a healthy relationship and not even recognized that i did.

[@zyperellen6413]

🥰 So I am cis, but I do recognize a lot of the feelings you describe here. For a long time my type has been whoever wasn't into me, or only into my looks but not me I think it has been a coping mechanism, because with these men I knew what I would get, and with them I wouldn't have to address a lot of things about me, but it has also been really hard on me, and made me feel very unattractive I am working on it, and trying to pursue people who might be interested in me, and who are nice, and I feel a lot better about myself already, even though I haven't had much luck yet

[@TheIndepententCraftyGamer]

“Never take a man seriously” sis I live by these words everyday

[@rachelschonfeld4900]

cis white girl here 🥰 i really related to this video, not as a trans person but as someone who’s experienced trauma. ive found myself recently contemplating how avoident my attachment is and at the root of that is how scared i am to let someone else see all my shit. as much as i want so desperately to have intimacy with someone, whenever there’s a chance i just sort of shut down in anxiety. especially if it comes to just like...physical contact from people who i really love, i just get so physically uncomfortable? my immediate reaction is to cringe, its so bad!!! because its not that i dont want it, far far from it in fact. in those situations im trying to just notice it and breathe and other CBT stuff. anyway, trauma’s a bitch.

[@l.j.s.8485]

My experience with nonbinary transness and dating had been that I don't have a hard time believing that my partners love me, but I often feel like they look at me and think that they love a woman. There are so few cis people who really seem to see me as the gender I actually am that I pretty much exclusively date trans people, because other trans people seem to be the only ones who can see me and love me as I am.

[@salrkimmich3660]

Honestly, I've been watching these videos for years and I used to think you got a professional makeup artist to make your eyes so damn amazing BUT YOU'VE HAD SO MANY PERFECT LOOKS ALL THROUGH THE PANDEMIC I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU DO IT, YOUR LOOK IS GODDAMN FLAWLESS EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[@unknownninja4430]

15:52 - 16:31 my friend resonates so much with that. she had been abused by her parents, constant bullying when she was in school and toxic verbally abusive relationships, which ended up her trying self harm herself. she's now just slowly regaining the love for herself back now and trying pick up the pieces that's shattered in her life from her past strife.

[@Ikine557]

I'm a fairly tame person and I still worry that people can't love me just because I like "childish" things like anime and video games. I think it's very human to feel unworthy of love.

[@vl-s1716]

My spouse, who is trans, talks about this topic a lot. Can't wait to show them this video!

[@JasonBakerEngineer]

🥰 Glad to hear your partner fell in love with you

[@tonyagibbs1963]

🥰 I'm over 50 and still find it hard to believe. It's an action for me, love is. I need to get better at not settling.

[@courtney1329]

🥰 I think it's really hard for people with trauma and low self esteem, especially if that has been taken advantages by others, to trust and feel comfortable with partners. I know for myself I have definitely dealt with the mental hell of thinking that I am unlovable and nobody would ever want me. And I think that led me to a really toxic relationship. But now after that, instead of the anxiety that I am unlovable and will forever be alone, I am trying to build up my confidence and be content with myself whether I have a partner or not. I'm not really back into dating though, so I don't know if my mistrust or reluctance with others still persist, but not gonna lie, I assume it will. If anything, it is hard to have walls up, but sometimes, I think a healthy bit of caution isn't always a negative. I think finding that healthy medium of being cautious enough, which I know is something I have to work on.

[@skyskarze]

This made me realize the sometimes i feel this way when people come to me saying they feel certain ways towards me and it feels so hard to accept those experiences you have- its crazy what just someone talking about an experience can open someones eyes to a whole new trove of feelings, i think kats content is really special because of that fact and I've never quite seen someone like her on the internet. It makes her content seriously enjoyable to just watch and relate to. I hope she can keep making content for a while💗

[@tiabooker]

Aww. The way you smiled when you talk about him is adorable. Lean into the happiness. You very much deserve it.

[@Lia-dm3cm]

ok but your intro story is so cute with him coming to fix your outlets while you're burning things in the kitchen

[@Val19indigo]

I'm a trans man, early into my transition, and I definitely see myself a lot in what you're describing. I live with constant thoughts and fears that I am disgusting as I am right now and nobody could ever love me or even want to have anything to do with me, intimately. Some people have confessed their love to me in the past (even quite recently) and I can never quite understand it. I've been struggling with self hatred for a long time, I still do, and it's making it really hard to accept people's feelings towards me. I kinda lack empathy a lot in general and when someone actually pointed out to me that it can also be hurtful that I keep dismissing people's love as if it wasn't something real, well i realised I'd never thought about that point of view at all. I still don't really know how deal with all this and I can only hope that some day I manage to love myself enough and hopefully also learn to accept that I can be loved by others and that me existing actually has an impact on their lives. Anyway thank you for this great video as always! 🥰

[@Malu-di1ur]

I absolutely love the start of these videos! There's something so casual and so warm about Kat telling us what she's drinking and me getting a drink to join... really feels like I'm talking to a friend. Or maybe it's just quarentine. Either way the gesture is nice

[@kimberry2010]

Mad respect. You are one of the most honest people on You Tube.

[@RazorXXTreme]

🥰 I completely feel what you said in this video. I've almost been 'blackpilled' into thinking I'm never going to be loved, be with the person I want to be with, start my own family, a house to share with the person I love, have a garden, some kids, pets, etc. with someone because of my identity. It's something I've had to force myself to not think about constantly and I hate it.

[@karlabiederbeck3082]

You are making so much sense! I transitioned later in life, so I'm not that far into my experiences dating straight men. I feel like you just pointed out the trap right as I was on my way stepping into. I can totally see how all the bullshit from men is clouding my judgement about what is good. I'm going to say good for girl! I'm happy for you and open for the possibilities myself. 🥰

[@chelseagreenberg6234]

Trauma takes awhile to heal from. It takes patience and understanding when a person has PTSD. Great video!

[@jadephoenix3]

I like how you came for my edges in the intro in this video, as a trans woman I’m guilty af for holding on to past trauma love it❤️❤️

[@lex_ve]

I (cisf) do often surprise myself how I shut out new relationships or experiences because of my past. Hearing you talk about it made me examine myself. Its so hard to look inwards sometimes. thank you! 🥰

[@emaeco6602]

Kat 🤧 I just want to give you a big hug for always expressing yourself on this platform in a very intimate way. It touched me when you said that it takes a really special kind of intimacy to be raw and open with someone. I definitely feel like sometimes it’s a performance when I am crushing on someone new or dating around. It makes me sad that you are so guarded, but understandably so as a coping mechanism. It’s very difficult deprogramming our minds from past trauma. I think as womxn we’ll always be suspicious of anyone who says they love us because of the way we’ve been traumatized. Transwomxn deserve love. Coming from a cis-girl I don’t know if that’s affirming or not, but i felt like it needed to be said ❤️ im happy for you and your new love Alexander 🤗 (im a cancer sun and leo moon so I have all the feels watching your video).

[@easternscreechowl6701]

A teacher of mine gave me ten rules for living a harmonious life. One comes to mind here: "Be plain, honest and practical when dealing with the world. It is better to be naïve than cunning. Better to be fooled than suspicious". I ruined my social life as an adolescent and early 20-something by being too suspicious of people I could have been on better terms with. Life is better for me now that I've recovered some of that child-like innocence, albeit with the protection of some wisdom to back it up.

[@solvjans5988]

I've been in relationships with guys who told me they loved me, but then didn't act like they loved me. So I understand how you feel. It has shifted my love languages. Quality time and acts of service mean a lot to me. I think it has become more important for me that my boyfriend acts like he loves and doesn't just say it. I'm in a relationship now where I can see how I'm healing from the past dissapointments. My boyfriend is just wonderful to me and I can see how his 'I love you's are really meaningful in a way that the ones from my exes weren't. With every time we meet, the more and more time we spent together and the closer we get, the more I trust him and the more I feel secure with him

[@rawkshavant]

🥰 I am a non binary trans man and I don't think anyone could ever love me or be genuinely attracted to me. I don't know how much my being trans contributes to that. I have a lot of other unrelated trauma and body issues, but I'm sure it does contribute some, especially because I'm older (29) but still so early into my transition.

[@rawkshavant]

@@Dimpdis818 thanks, same to you, man

[@guadalupe2170]

My heart melted with what you said about your partner Alexander. I recently watched the video you made where you talked about how you met him in detail and you discussed the self sabotage thing and I was actually wondering how things were going with him. I'm happy for you, seems like a guy you really really like🥰

[@internetlie13]

I am absolutely obsessed with your lip color in this. I was so entranced by the shine and multiple tones, it looked so great on you. I couldn't look away 🥰🥰🥰

[@claw.some_duo]

🥰 men know the way into a womens pants is to make her feel loved especially if the women is insecure for whatever reasons... Thats why I never trust anyone that is saying anything to me... I only believe you a certain thing if you show it and put into the effort to prove me you are for real... Action speaks louder then words... me and my boyfriend rarely even say "I love you" 1) we know anyway, 2) we rather show it then say it... 3) those word dont even express fully what we feel for each other tbh., 4) we heard it so many times in the past and it was never true

[@rosx3245]

🥰 Alexander loves the authentic you. Ex loved the hidden you, the parts that you doubted yourself about. As I’m sitting here listening to you I’m processing how ready I am to love someone as my authentic self. Thank you Kat for your perspectives and highly valuable thoughtful videos.

[@Iridgoth6812]

🥰 I needed this. Im a person because of trauma and my codependency I avoid men and intimacy. I avoid people in general. And its hard to know if the other person is being genuine because like you said you dont want to seem like a fool. Its almost like it keeps happening to the point where i question my instincts and intuition. Like i dont trust myself to pick the right guys. But its funny these beautiful relationships I have are with my very small group of friends. And there are moments when i meet someone and I hold back. I hide. Its hard to know if men are seeking out your insecurities or actually are all about you. Its crazy how people look for that in a woman.

[@jack-xo5rz]

its so refreshing hearing someone talk about this, thankyou

[@shik1563]

I think I get you here. My shutting down love came from my parents and growing up so I dont have the relationship aspect but when my now husband told me he loved me I just spiraled into fear, if you get past that, thats where the good stuff comes from :)

[@tesseraph]

🥰 Wow, do I relate! I spent four years working out my gender and came out to my partner in 2020 as a trans woman. When I started to become more certain about the fact that I'm a trans woman, it honestly felt like I was sealing my tomb on myself. I felt absolutely unlovable by either my partner or my family. My accepting relationship with my one friend to whom I was most out felt like the singular thread I could hang on to while everyone else would obviously abandon me. However, since my coming out, my partner has gone from "I don't know how I'm gonna feel about this" to "I'm so here for this", which has honestly blown me away. My select friends I've come out to have also been chill and nice. (Parents: Pending) All this has helped rebuild my confidence which I honestly never thought I'd get. And yet, I do still notice a pattern of thinking against this: "if my partner and I break up, that's gonna be game over for me dating-wise...I'm not gonna find someone else." I don't know if I'll be free of those thoughts at any point... Come to think of it, this wish to feel lovable has been outsized for a long time. Even in high school, I was desperate to have someone express interest in me and didn't really ever receive it. Both relationships I had then were initiated by me and ended by the other party. From that sample size of 2, I figured that my relationships were just bound to always go like that - me making the move to be accepted for a finite time. This thinking definitely bled over into my twenties. I wonder how much of this thinking had to do with me (eventually) being trans...

[@JudesUnlimited]

This video was so real. Thank you for making it. I think all of us who have been hurt or abused in romantic relationships feel that same way. Being open is hard. I have challenged myself to walk towards the things and people that I want rather than away. It is more difficult than I imagined.

[@rorogoprrr]

I do think it's hard to learn to accept love when all your life you've been told you weren't worthy of love and that feeling has only been used as a weapon against you. Because of that, I kinda like a variation of a phrase you used in your video. It goes somewhat like: "you can't love yourself until you've really been loved."🥰 Although I disagree with some aspects of it, I agree in that we learn to recognize that we are lovable when we are loved, and we believe we will never be loved when historically we haven't received that. And like, it's not just true about romantic love but it also applies to every other kind of love.

[@cecoletti1]

Kat, honestly, you make SO MUCH sense on this video. I don't suppose I know the experience of any trans person, but I have been in an abusive relationship before and, oof, you pressed the right buttons here. The distrust when someone comes at you, just in the beginning, and then moving forward when the person wants to take that extra step with you because they genuinely liked what they saw up until now and they're willing to look further... I mean, it's so hard to believe. I can only imagine that the cumulative experience is even worse, but having just even one person that you trusted being a douchegbag can just fuck you up so deeply for future rellationships, make it so hard to trust...

[@harryportfelikartakredytow8907]

I cannot stress how much i relate to that, how well i know self-sabotage and absolute lack of trust. I'm only 20 years old and I sometimes feel so... sad, when I think about how litte it took for me to lose this childish positivity and get into the anxiety I have now. I would love to have it back. I haven't been dating for two years and I'm surely not dating during COVID, but I know I will in the future and it honestly haunts me. And your video pointed this attitude to me again and I know that THIS is what I've been hiding from myself during therapy, because I knew there is something that I haven't talked about yet. So thank you for that, and I had tears in my eyes when you were talking about your current relationship, it's wonderful to see you so happy and safe, I wish you two all the best 🥰 I am looking forward to a moment when I can be vulnerable with someone and not get hurt. I want it so much.

[@ElfPoles]

OMG... Me too... Not about the trans stuff... but about the.. "How little he recoils from it". BLESS I'm so happy you get to experience that, complete love and acceptance! I've had so many times where I'm worried to say something to my BF,,,, and eventually I finally talk about it and he just. Kinda nods and is very calm about it and accepting. It's so amazing

[@Liolia22]

🥰🥰 Kat, thank you so much for making this video. The struggle you’re describing is a universal one and you should not feel alone in any way. I’m going through the same trouble as hetero cis female, because I’m becoming a more authentic version of myself and healing past trauma. I’m realizing that most of us are afraid to believe we are WORTHY of love, so we fear it and either run from it or push it away, consciously and unconsciously, in a multitude of ways. I do, however, acknowledge the added layer of struggle that the trans population faces, so that adds even more complexity and pain. But broadly speaking, this is a struggle of the human experience, and only the very few with secure attachment styles as adults might not go through this. But those folks will still likely be in relationship with partners who are subconsciously fearful around love. Especially receiving it. So happy you found a man worthy of you, in an authentic moment in your life when you were able to open your heart to him, and he opened his to you! What a joy!! 💗

[@nathancha834]

🥰 Thanks for this convo. I definitely relate a lot to this. An odd thing I have found over time is that I encounter people who know me from the person I present online or they have heard of through others and for the to meet me with an amount of hype, that makes me hard to trust how genuine an eye-level connection we could have (almost as if they love the idea of me, which just...puts a lot of pressure on me to fulfill that). And also what with sharing some trans trauma online, there's also an idea of empathy with that struggle and like - the whole thing makes it truly complex to make sure the people I encounter are being genuine.

[@MsAaannaaa]

omg, I'm feeling this so much. I'm currently getting to know a new person and she seems to be really into me but I'm only thinking about how this will probably fade soon and I'll end up alone again, trying to pick up the pieces of my self-worth.

[@serpenking]

You're really inspirational to me, as someone who's really struggling with their trans identity and being happy with myself. Helps me remember that we can lead happy fulfilling lives and that it gets better. oh, and emoji🥰