Are We All Bound To Live In Nursing Homes One Day? | TBH Ep 4

[@co6033]

It is humbling to know despite the advance in modern medicine, it can only grant longevity but not quality of life.

[@jackskellington9195]

It was an honor to care for the last 15 years of her life we tried to hire help with her but no one will care for her alike we were willing to . So glad I got to spend this special time with her , she helped bring me in and I got to help her out

[@josivetang7323]

A key factor for final elder care choice is $$$. Employing a domestic helper or day care nurse, using say care centre or nursing home all cost tons of money, which are fully borne by patients or their families. Other than helper's salary, off day pay & maid levy, employer also have to pay for medical & hospital bills, food & snacks & toiletries etc. Very stringent criteria & limited vacancies for subsidised nursing home beds. But monthly stay bill at private nursing home can cost a few thousand dollars, which might be equivalent of patient's household income. Many do full-time caregiving as there's no one else around to help & they can't afford nursing homes, maids or day care nurses. But this means they draw down on their savings, as they can't go out to work. As family units become smaller & bigger proportion of population ages , we desperately need a great number of subsidised nursing homes spread across the island.

[@LingWong-b3e]

Then taxpayers money will go up or gst go up.

[@Abraham-uk4xy]

Yes agreed. Last paragraph is highly accurate. When you break up big families to smaller nuclear unit you will get this. This is the downside of development. Not many can afford nursing homes. But say three or four bachelor's can stay together and help each out in their health issues.

[@Moggietea]

The nursing home featured here looks really new and nice. We recently had the need to find a nursing home for an elderly grandparent. Unfortunately a lot of nursing homes we went to were dark, humid and moldy. We could also hear screaming and yelling from residents with dementia at some of them. Visitation hours are also short and family is not allowed to enter their living areas (they will wheel the person out to a common room for visitation). It gave us doubt that our elderly grandparent would do well in such a place which looks gloomy and unsanitary, and we ultimately scrapped the idea. We have a long way to go before our nursing homes are at the same level as the Nordic countries.

[@icilike]

Sounds like the place I had to send my dad to. Deeply regretted the decision. No privacy 8 people in the same room. Shorthanded - patient left in his dirty clothes. Visitors subjected to tikam tikam dependent on whether you are fast enough to get a slot. My dad only lasted 6days. Since he was only able to see me on 1 day. B4 he went in, he was aware, communicative and happy. When I got to visit him, he could not recognize me, eat nor communicate with me. My dad passed away at midnight. My brothers did not get a chance to see him. He would definitely have been happier at home. If I had known he was going away so soon we could have tahan a little longer. He was not supposed to be on his way out. Think the hostile environment made him give up. V. Sad

[@KarenChun-z8n]

@@icilikep

[@cadlac1533]

@@icilikesorry for your loss.

[@Trish-ql9kz]

Don’t know where you are but nursing homes in the UK do not have visiting hours, families are free to visit anytime during the the day...

[@deborahd.7281]

Was this in the United States, if so what state?

[@annie5247]

This nursing home and other ones I've seen in Asia are so much nicer than the ones in the United States. I worked as a nurse in a nursing home in the beginning of my career and it would be one nurse to 30-60 patients with two nursing assistants helping to do all the assessments, medications, cleaning, ambulating, wound care, special treatments etc. Many days we only had a few minutes per patient. If there were some emergencies we would only have time to pass by quickly on the more stable ones and glance at them. It's such a shame. This looks like heaven in comparison.

[@MrWaterbugdesign]

I agree. I'm 67, American, healthy so far. But planning to move to SE Asia in 2025 in part to have access to much better options for long term care that I may need someday. I can afford live-in help and these are world famous for being the best caregivers.

[@judymckee5992]

@@MrWaterbugdesign, I am the same age as u, formerly from Malaysia and just went back after 30 years to check this very thing. I come to the conclusion that my husband and I will go to Malaysia buy a condo and get 2 full time maid ( when the time comes ) my sister will supervise. I also thought getting 5 bedroom luxury condo and get 4 full time maid and get 2 more patient like us to offset the cost and have more help. lol I told my sister I will pay her to keep an eye.

[@yenchu1237]

The morning my dad passed away on 01.01.2017, my wheel chair dependent mum asked if I'd abandoned and left her alone. I said I'll accompany and look after her myself, as what I'd promised my dad. Tomorrow is the 7th year anniversary where my dad suffered a heart attack in the hospital and was in a coma (2 days before my birthday). November has always been a difficult month for me since. It's been and still is a taxing and challenging journey as a caretaker for my mum. I shall exercise my free will to leave this world on my own terms after my mother passed on. 20.05.2024 I appreciate all the kind words and encouragement, thank you. I am in a better frame of mind right now.

[@chopsticksforlegs]

No please don't do that. Depression and care giver stress is very real. How can I help you?

[@misterbig9025]

You need a family, a community

[@user-rr1xc1qw9u]

Hi there.. I don’t know you but i hope to help you with some resources and support systems i could connect you with. Ur life matters too and u’ve done an amazing job caring for your parents. There’s still so much meaning to ur life so pls let us help you thru these stressors.

[@shirleytan5162]

Maybe you think about exercising your rights for freedom, travel around and enjoy your hobbies without commitment , make up the lost of time you sacrificed when you were caretaker ?

[@jibrasome3489]

Jiayou Yenchu, i know its very tough on you. I pray for you ok? *hugs

[@Benbinolim]

I work in this industry. Such a meaningful job with so much to look forward to everyday. However, unfortunately most people in this industry are super underpaid. Therefore it’s hard to keep skilled workers. They’ll see their peers in other industry conservatively earning 1.5-2x more. Don’t get me wrong, money is not everything but money is something. If we don’t need money and would just want to give back through a job like that, we’ll gladly volunteer for free.

[@laifungsusanwong2390]

I resigned from my work to look after my mum although we had a helper. Mum was diagnosed with lymphoma. She suffered 3years. I waa also the caregiver for my dad after mum passed on. He had dementia stage 2. It was very tiring and stressful but I had my husband's and sister's support. I looked after him during the days and my sister helped at nights. So family support is very important. I had no regrets leaving my job although I was sad initially. Looking back, I've no regrets in my decision. My parents did informed us that they would want to be home in their final days

[@teresaforsyth6185]

You resigned from your job? What did you live on ? Did you give up your job at the height of your career? How did you have health insurance?

[@inlee99]

You are an amazing person. I am not sure if I can do what you did. I wish there is a better way to die not just for me but for the rest of my family members.

[@cant461]

should you be addressing like can you share your account number ? maybe i can recommend you some ngo who might help in welfare ? if you feel like working back ,i can ask some friends who can give some leads for job position ,maybe they can help ?kinda sad la i see most chinese are like typically you ,not showing emphathy sincerely@@teresaforsyth6185

[@kennawhitty5884]

@@teresaforsyth6185They obviously lived off of money??? What do you think? Horse poop?

[@lmb4876]

Your parents were very fortunate to have you in their lives..my only child has passed on & I have my 2 sisters..we plan on taking care of each other..none of us have surviving children

[@carolmsimang6224]

My grandma is 97 yrs old and still live with us in our home. We wouldn't dare discard her like that after spending her entire life loving us

[@silverlily4681]

God bless you ♥️👍

[@lindaguida4074]

Do you bathe her?

[@mitchelle-dz4lo]

Thanks for the video. I am living alone in my 80s I won't like to go to aged homes but you in Singapore you have nursing homes for the elderly and they are given due respect and concern. I've watched one nursing home in another country where the old lady was not treated well. You have done a great job showing love and kindness. I looked after my mother who was suffering from cancer of the nose and at the same time she had hemiplegia for some years but I took care not to have bed sores. She lived till 101 with no proper treatment as we could not afford to send her to hospital. But we gave her the best staying at home with grand children and great grand children around. God helps those who help themselves

[@silverlily4681]

You are a wonderful daughter, Heaven above is await for you. May you live a long and healthy life till the very end ♥️🙏. God bless you!

[@stevenlim9640]

I've watched one nursing home in another country where the old lady was not treated well. sinkapo oso got such cases lah, in the news and TV news ! you one eye can see one eye blind niah

[@bornwin-sx9oz]

I will never put my 91 year old mother and my physically handicapped brother in a nursing home. I love them both with all my heart. 💕🙏

[@kornhead8]

Sometime it beyond yr control 🥸

[@ronfesta771]

God Bless you mate!!!🙂

[@bornwin-sx9oz]

@@kornhead8 yes I understand

[@ontheroad5555]

Sometimes they need medicine several times a day. If you can't be around then pay for a caregiver.

[@heong20]

Thank you OGS you had been producing very good documentary with warm heart. I had been taking care of my late wife for 5 yrs and my late mum for 10 years. I understand how tough it is as a caregiver. My mum pass on while sleeping at home peacefully.

[@AWSC88]

So sad to watch. Thanks for a much needed insight into the aging population which we usually overlook.

[@marylowe3487]

A really interesting video, thank you for examining the different aspects of the subject. Respect is so important for older people, who often feel invisible.

[@jessieh867]

It is quite an important sector to handle elderly people in every country. We certainly can’t be “out of sight, out of mind” attitude towards these people who also contributed to the society.

[@juliefurneaux2373]

It all depends on the family! My mother looked after her mother in our home when I was growing up. Later in life she told me not to make that sacrifice and put her in a home when she was older. When her time was close she wanted nothing but to be with us ❤ I was with her when she passed❤

[@marissasonia]

my grandmother used to work in an old folks home when she was in her 30s and as my first volunteering job at 14 was in the same old folks home and i literally used to always look forward to sundays as it was my volunteering day.

[@lmb4876]

These eldercare places in Singapore are much better than in the USA…I have no children so I would rather die than end up in a nursing home in the USA…

[@cinnamonbun5510]

How do you know that? Have you visit this nursing home? I would like to now ?

[@misterbig9025]

USA number one

[@cinnamonbun5510]

@@misterbig9025 Lol 😂

[@lasvegasnevada7514]

I used to work as a CNA for 4 months. Most horrible place to be. Nursing homes in the US smells like animal farms (the smell of flesh, body odor, poop) entitled rude and heavy 200-300lbs patients. My cousin told me that Americans are the most evil ppl. She would rather work as nurse in the Philippines than being a nurse in the US if not for the pay.

[@ww3032]

The places I’ve come across are much worse than the one in this video.

[@marinwillow23]

Thank you so much for this insightful video. I was impressed on how you immersed yourself in the nursing home even for a day.

[@doreencetrangelo7255]

My generation were respectable and loving of their elders. Listening to their life stories and their wisdom. They were taken care of by their family with love,! Now many are warehoused and forgotten. .Or they are made to feel unwanted and a burden. For all their love and sacrifice they are considered a nuisance. Not all but many. I pray every day I don't become one of the them.

[@dawayeaung2694]

Time had changed. Life style had changed . With increasing population everyone is in a rush in all aspects of life.

[@duckseatingbread]

really interesting piece! definitely got me thinking about how my parents would want to be taken care of now that they're approaching retirement age. looking forward to more eps!

[@holeongkhit1958]

Wow, Respect to Gary, salute. "Make time or lose touch with your loved ones!"

[@p6h14]

thanks OGS for the wonderful videos always! ❤ really insightful to know what's happening at a nursing home

[@snoopysnoopy2556]

My dad was in the nursing home for 13 yrs after a stroke..it’s a horrible place to be. For his sake I wish he would pass and be free of the constraint and dealing with the whim of the care giver. He finally pass 2 weeks ago. We feel relief. The anger and guilt is finally over

[@wongbrandon]

Thanks for producing this video that touches on a topic that is close to many of our hearts. Both my dad and I are caregivers to mom who has dementia and sending her to a nursing home has never been considered. With her failing memory, we thought iit will be better for mom to be in a familiar environment and personally, I can't bring myself to send mom away. The initial caregiving period has been challenging, dad taking care of mom during the day and I takeover when I return from work, but we managed somehow. That said, every family has their own circumstances to consider and sending their loved ones may not be a matter of choice but a necessity. I haven't travel for 4 years until my recent business trip, and I haven't stayed out late like how.I did in my younger days. Such lifestyle changes are unavoidable for caregivers and ultimately, our love for family will prevail.

[@marietaylor5174]

I'm praying that the Heavenly Father will be merciful with me, so I will pass in my sleep at home and never have to see inside a nursing home.

[@blues1m]

same. i'd rather die in my 60s than end up struggling in old age, alone or in a nursing home this society sucks

[@theclfamilychannel]

A very good documentary on nursing home. Make me think more about the elderly.

[@carefulconsumer8682]

Excellent video. Very true. I worked part time after school in a senior home when I was in high school and it taught me a lot. Things you can never learn from a teacher or reading a book. Listening to seniors talk about their lives was one of the most educational things I ever experienced. I highly recommend all young people experience that. I also learned Alzheimers is a disease as horrible as cancer. I'm glad I stumbled across your video and this channel.

[@mpdmpd8118]

I would never send my parent to nursing home....they never once abandon me

[@shirleylangton7967]

This is an excellent video, showing all perspectives of aging care. Thank You!😁😁😁

[@teamcougars]

I hope my kids do send me to an assisted living facility when the day comes I don’t want them to be burdened with my care I had a stroke 9 years ago I already put a DNR in place at the local hospital in an attempt to keep my husband and kids from having to make the most difficult decisions and I’m already limited in my ability from the stroke I had already I don’t want to conte what my life would be like if I had another one 😢 This way none of my kids will have to worry about letting me go…😢 I can’t do that to them. I won’t do that to my children.

[@janeho4148]

Thanks OGS, this is a very meaningful vid.

[@sallyyim4427]

I was a caregiver for my Mother for almost 10 years. It was not easy as I was the only child and taking care of my Mother was a 24/7 act of love, respect, kindness, and devotion. Looking back, I would not have done anything different. It gave me more time with my Mother, but more importantly, I know she was getting the best care possible and not have to deal with the cruelty and neglect of others. I live in America and the horror stories about rest homes have been passed down through the generations. I know my parents’ wishes of never being put in a nursing home was ingrained in me since I was a child. I know people that was placed in nursing homes and it was horrible!

[@alvinphk]

Thank you for making the video content. It has definitely helped to create awareness for all of viewers. Thank you

[@englianconnietan1931]

Thanks dear,your video shows us how to accept our fate when the time comes. I an aged 75 going 76 in 2 months time. This is very real about elderly homes. Iam lucky as my husband is young n he is taking care of me ,thank Heavens. But I wonder if the day comes I hope the homes for the elderly are places where every elderly wants to go to n not be afraid to live inside,for their remaining years.

[@StarrySunnie]

Thank you very much OGS🙏🏽🙇🏻‍♀️

[@OCBrowser-f3o]

Please suggest audio books and music therapy for residents with visual impairment. Live music might also be something many residents can look forward to as well. Musical concerts can be less than 1 hour, performed by local school orchestras, string quartets, etc. at the nursing facility. A little live music every week goes a long ways to lifting the spirit. And music is a universal language. No translation needed 😁

[@mindful47]

The host asked very good questions.

[@knswee]

thank you so much for the insights!!! we are now know better what to expect?

[@Mcky-lw1zb]

I know a couple of people who are middleaged and never been married, nor have kids. If their health prevails, they can live alone until they can't walk, stand, cook for themselves, then what can they do? It's better to be in a nursing facility than with one care provider at home.

[@englianconnietan1931]

I was in 4 hospitals since October. All the nurses n doctors are wonderful. The nurses in St Lukes hospital are always trying so hard to make it comfortable. The other hospital nurses are also wonderful. Nurses are so wonderful. If the Government really cares for us then they should have more Daycares for the elderly n employ more nurses to take care of the elderly. We love our own homes but if circumstances turn out that we have to live in a home ,then a home with more assistances is crucial so the nurses will not be overworked because the nurses in the 5 hospitals are so wonderful. If aged homes have such kind nurses n helpers,it is not fearful to live the rest of our lives where these kind angels we called nurses, are nearby. Doctors visit us in the mornings but the nurses respond to our buttons I believe our children will send us to homes when we are wheelchair bound and aged.Try to accept the fact for when we are burdensome we will be sent away so the best is to be able to walk n no body have a reason to send you to a home.

[@AndersonTan-o1o]

Such a beautiful picture of mama. May God bless her and your family. Money is really not everything. If blessed we do our best. ❤❤❤

[@Humorousguy64]

A helper will solve the problem ...is money thats most important...

[@bennyng7790]

You need a lot money to stay in private elder/nursing home. For the young peoples please start saving while you are still young. I just look up St Luke Eldercare and cost about $1600 Sg a mth. and I think this is a better nursing home in SG. And I google good nursing home in Penang. It cost about $6000 Ringgit a mth. When you get old most your childrens cannot take of you just like this show. That the realities of life. In the US private share room in nursing home ( 2 to a room) cost about USD $5000 per person per mth. And that is for the room only. Most of medical is cover by medicare cover by the govt. . I might have to retire in Singapore or Malaysia to afford the Nursing home one day when i there.

[@vivianidelacerda9708]

You are a good reporter. Thanks for this 🎥 post.

[@lindaguida4074]

I visited my Dad every week until the last day of his life, I held his hand until his last breath. No regrets!

[@imnotleslie]

By the time it happens for our gen, probably all childcare would be converted to eldercare in the same premises

[@Abraham-uk4xy]

Good documentary. I like the active aged care centres where there are medical personnel nearby.

[@crimestoppers1877]

My father and mother lived independently in their home until each died because of an accident. Mom was 98 when she had a slip and fall in the kitchen ( slip resistent flooring and grab bars) , but the fall did not cause her death. Intead it was lack of medical care for bed sores in the hopital while recuperating from the fall. My father age 99 3/4 had a fall ( slip resistent floors and grab bars) and subsequent head injury. Both were lucid , active and my father had just passed his written and practical driver test. We had a housekeeper drop by three days per week for dusting and cleaning and we visited twice daily to provide food, meals and family friendship. We learned later that the "trusted" housekeeper had been stealing silver and anything she could sneak out of the house. She was arrested later. Thank you Nanny cams. My parents were physically and mentally active until their deaths. All of their meals were varied and nutritious and not the typical green jello and sliced weiners.

[@pov72]

We need heavily subsidised nursing home at every mrt station we have. They contribute to our current booming economy and didnt have the ability to think of retirement, and now houses and children so expensive, gahmen need to pick up ALL of the slack for us in monetary and facilities and healthcare abilities for them.

[@noproblematallmate]

Future generations have no problems staying in nursing homes. We will be able to utilise entertainment devices. All of us playing computer and mobile games in beds 😂. Actually we may like it.

[@shirleytan5162]

Despite having some arthritis problem 🤣

[@norman6499]

Same sentiments exactly!!! Once a gamer, always a gamer! Im hitting 40 soon and i dont know why i still have the same appetite as 30 years ago for game !

[@nt3352]

Full concentration during gametime with no interruption for household chores or nagging😅😅

[@pamhuckle3029]

Saw a cushion once withe the words: "Be nice to your children, remember they will choose your nursing home."

[@pamhuckle3029]

I hope that neither my husband or I need nursing home care but if it's necessary I hope we accept it with grace and love.

[@pinewood4048]

They contributed to our society that makes what Singapore is today … Seems like we are too fast and harsh as reality surfaces … How cruel can we be and are we still keeping this pace till we die as lonely person?

[@jjyy8767]

Nice coming across your channel👍Wondering if there will be Chinese subtitles for elderly folks who may not know English? Thanks🙏🏻

[@appscustomer4675]

The challenge with nursing homes are the patient to patient ratio is poor. The US does provide 24hr care at home based on income. One can do asset protection. Home health Aides can provide 1 to 1 patient care. We also have long-term insurance. Our nursing homes do allow one passes to go out daily in the community. You have to be back by evening. Quality of Care is hard in any nursing home. Technology has advanced. Electronic pill dispeners are available.

[@ramsari3811]

We have only few nursing homes in the philippines, but we are used to take care of our elderlies

[@caregiverinitaly]

I've heard in the Philippines has a strong sense of taking care of family and the nurses/caregivers are outstanding.

[@CKOssey7]

I think some of the nursing home standard and environment is not like we see in this video . Hidden camera will be able to capture the REAL ACTION and Attitudes of caregiver or staff inside the home. On 22.12.23, in Singapore hospital. l witnessed a educated lady. At 5am she asked politely to nurse that she wants to go toilet. After 2 hrs then nurse attended her needs. Short of nurses. I cannot imagine how long a dementia patient in nursing home has to wait for nurses to change wet soil diaper. My friend who engaged 2 helper at home to look after her mum who has dementia. Maid never turn her mum when she is sleeping. Her mum developed bedsore and maid did not inform her . Her mum who is having dementia also do not know how to complain. The bedsore is so bad can see the bone. When her mum was sent to the hospital is too late. Passed away because of toxins from bedsore. Best is to have own loved ones to help to take care of the elderly. And if need extra hands. Must supervise helpers. Pray that we do not have to end up in nursing homes or hospital.

[@Ramy-ql3tr]

Honestly, i want to send my mother to one but she doesn't want to. I'm the primary caregiver, in my 50s, I'm tired of caring for her. I dont have much time for myself, affects my work, no peace of mind, I'm angry daily doing everything myself, and costly because she's a dialysis patient.

[@Max-nt7ho]

Do the best u can. Do not feel guilty if u need to move your mom to a nursing home. I’m sure your mom wants u to be happy, too. Hugs to u! 🤗

[@silverlily4681]

Your mom gave you this life, she gave all of her youth raising you, this is the time you are paying back to her then You will be bless by Heaven above when your day comes. I hope you will find your inner strength and happiness from within while taking care of her ♥️

[@chickenricenation]

some people can't even afford to check themselves into a nursing home, or are not eligible, and rely on social services to pay visits to their homes.

[@michaelwong5356]

I disagree with some comments here elucidating that sending an elderly to a nursing home is a deplorable act on the part of the children. The demands, expectations, and challenges today are very different compared to the 70s. Nowadays, both husband and wife need to carry the burden as breadwinners. An elderly person needs round-the-clock care. This is something unattainable in this era. Nursing homes are there to give care and attention to the elderly people. Can you live with yourself if an elderly person gets hurt or worse, just because you think sending an elderly person to a nursing home is unfillial?

[@yenchu1237]

Agree. Only those who've been caregivers will understand. In some instances, the elderly are better off in a nursing home having company than being lonely at home.

[@lynnlee4822]

Henry Kissinger just died at 100 yo. Did he lived in nursing home? Why not? For me, for as long as I am able to make my decisions (have mental presence) and able to pay for hired hands (possess financial ability) - I shall not allow anyone to move me to a nursing home. Why? I cannot and would not trade my personal freedom for an institution. Period.

[@Hannie_meena]

I'm going to take up Nursing this semester as my 2nd degree to better care for my mom when she gets older

[@silverlily4681]

♥️👍

[@12345wwww]

It's not the place. It's how you make your own life, and be considerate to those who have to look after you, family or otherwise.

[@wongmeihancindy6868]

Thank for this video. Indeed it is not easy to be a caregiver as mental health kicks in just like me. I am a caregiver to my handicap bro but is my responsibility as promise to my late mum. I have time to destress and relax. At the end of the day is how you perceive it. Some need to work no choice. But aft calculate our savings etc, i decided to quit my job to look aty my bro and spend time with him as we are not close when young. Now i am semi retirement.😂

[@Yummy346]

No. We don’t have to. Nursing home life is boring. If you take care of your health very well, it’s lower the risk of many health issues that could lead you to be a resident at a nursing home. And if you have a good family support, you don’t have to live in a nursing home bc it’s very expensive!

[@lucasgdrezes]

My mom has always being very vocal about how much she doesn't want to be put in a nursing home no matter the situation. There's a part of me that wants to fulfill what she asked, but as an only child, would I be able to take care of her?

[@crystal8537]

I am also an only child... i was thinking like nursing home might be scary but is hiring a maid to be caregiver a better choice? Tbh I dont think so... most maids r not trained to handle elderly which makes things worse

[@XxPianoGalxX123]

@@crystal8537 Indeed, most maids are not well trained; but if your loved one does end up in a hospital, hospitals do provide caregiver training for helpers or family members. It may take time, but some helpers eventually become very competent in taking care of the elderly. We all start from somewhere :) The idea of a nursing home is indeed scary since we are unable to monitor the care of our loved ones, but if the care needs of your loved one is very high, tbh sending them to a nursing home with professional care might be safer than a layman screwing up the care needs or compromising safety. Just thought I'd give the flip side of the coin, hope it provides some insight as well, Jiayou!

[@lucasgdrezes]

@@crystal8537 I'm not quite sure. My mom has needed 24/7 care for the past few years since her Alzheimer's got worse. They live in a medium-sized Brazilian city and have always had a hard time finding skilled caregiver. But I think for the future, it might be one of the emerging professions.

[@Bellz972]

I wouldn't like to put any of my family members in nursing homes but certain situations calls for it. Am a nurse and work with dementia patients. Can just imagine your dilemma😢, the thing is that she needs 24/7 care and u need a break too, how will you take care of her if u are exhausted and fall sick. The longer her dementia progresses the more risk of her getting confused and doing something like wandering off in the middle of the night, or living on the stove and starting a fire indoors. At least she needs a nurse certain parts of the day so that u can rest, work or take care of other things. Ultimately the choice is yours and u need to think of what's best for both of you

[@sabbyn.1815]

@@crystal8537 There are helpers who are trained to look after elderly but pricey. Home care visits by medical professionals can be arranged too. Thankfully are alot of options to explore

[@ArnaPrints]

happy to see janice :) Im a fan !!

[@marywong8459]

You covered the subject very well. Thank you. I cared for my mother until she had a fall and spent time in the hospital; to be released from the hospital, the choice was a nursing home or go home with hired caretakers. I chose to hire helpers for my mom's care because she did not have the language to assert her needs in a nursing home, and I would not be there to advocate for her.

[@KantoCafe715]

Sean was amazing

[@Humorousguy64]

To my i think 90% of problem is money ..if one has no financial doubts ...no members will want to put parents in a nursing home ..no matter what a home is a home ...no place can beat a family home ...

[@noxbobby7192]

Catherine is lucky to have 1 vacancy and rushed in.. all i know is there are alot of eldery or patients in acute hospital or rehab hospital still awaiting for nursing home vacancy

[@englianconnietan1931]

I was in St lukes for a few days,not

[@tanchye1720]

1. I am not married and I took care of my mum until she passed away around 83yrs old. 2. I am 76yrs old now and still very healthy. 3. I rent out my spare rooms to my Myanmar friends (all from the same village) at a lowest rate as their monthly pay are not much and they themselves have to send money back home. I can sell-supported with my CPF. 4. They treated me like their father and I treated them like they are my children. There’s always people around the house and I don’t have to feel lonely. 5. It’s a win-win situation. They got a place to stay & I got someone to take care of. 6. Don’t think I’ll have to go to a nursing home even when I become older. (Remember Mahathir is 99yrs old now and he still wants to be the PM) To me, I feel lucky. Everything seems to fall in place. 🙏 p.s. Ironically, I am ‘taking care’ of my immediate neighbour occasionally, giving them help whenever required as they are near their 90 and living on their own.

[@jasonjames4254]

I will not live as an invalid unable to take care of myself. I will begin refusing all medical care beyond basic comfort care starting about age 72. I would much rather die younger than experience a slow lingering death that lasts for many years.

[@picturenut]

Even the best nursing homes are still that… Nursing homes. There is no possible way that they have enough personnel, working to give the care that we would all like to get and we would all like our relatives to get. even the best nursing homes with the most warmhearted, caring people cannot be everywhere at the same time.

[@barbgardiner5719]

I ended up needing to be on IV antibiotics for longer than was allowed in a hospital. I had the roommate from HELL! She blocked the door to the bathroom. Blared the tv all night. Lit up the room like a landing strip all night!

[@lingth]

When you are bedridden and your "quality of life" is to wake up .be moved on a wheelchair..pushed to eat meals and watch tv .then get showered and sleep.. then repeat for many years..i dun see how being in a hdb flat is better than a nursing home. I would say a nursing home is better since you will never know if you will fall or get in an emergency if you stay alone or with maid.. My dad in a nursing home sometimes have medical issues and the nursing home would immediately send him to hospital asap..had he live with a maid, the maid may not know how to react.

[@violetgaribyan-jg9ll]

I stay with my mothers day and night nursing home almost 3 week

[@you8899100]

Great video….never think of that before 😊

[@mariekatherine5238]

My Dad had to go to a home because of needing complicated 24/7 medical care. I’d have had to have hired the equivalent of a cardiac care unit in my home, just not possible. The first two places were terrible. We hit the jackpot on the third try, an order of sisters who took small numbers of elderly and treated them like royalty.

[@aishahhussien6896]

Nurses,You are an Angel

[@ageeibc6029]

It was never a concern in the 30s,40s, 50s & the 60s. Money were less, bit cost of living were low. Today, its a game changer. More money, more profits, more choices but cost of living shoots up & foods cost is unbelievable costly 300 times compared to 3 years ago. The youngsters today are dumping seniors in hospitals, old folks home. Worst scenario l have seen, these seniors are neglected by their children to fend for themselves out in the cold. What kind of generation are we living on? In Singapore, we coin this word, DINK. Double Income No Kids. Be healty as you age. It's your key to aging independence.

[@mtloke5732]

Nursing home = dumping ground? Oh my…

[@vickiecavazos231]

by experience..i'd rather keep there SSI and hire aides to care for an elderly at home..nursing homes no good they just check on them once a shift

[@Babu-kr3cr]

They will show their best face when you come to investigate. Even so, I don't like the way everything is done on their schedule. They come wake up someone and say it is time for your shower, and then just slide her out like a log and take her to be hosed off. Then they say it is time for food, and they just start shoving the food in while she waves her arms like she doesn't know what is going on. It would make more sense to treat them as a human being. They could go in and say are you ready for your shower or talk about the food, and chat with them before they just dive in and get the job done. That is what makes it so impersonal and lonely for them. That is sad that Eugene can't see enough to read. Can't they get him eyeglasses? He is just there waiting to die. He can only get out every couple of months or so, and he seemed to enjoy it so much. They don't have someone to take him to breakfast or the park or they can't get him glasses with all the money it costs there? I respect people who will take their parents or other relatives home and not consider it a burden but a privilege and money and time well spent to have their company.

[@siminkuo7916]

it would be even more insightful to tie in with the increasing number of singles in S'pore - who's going to look after them when they're old?

[@lingth]

Imagine if you dun have kids, not married, your option is to live alone, assuming you can feed and shower yourself.. or a nursing home. For ppl with kids, they also need to work and hiring a maid may not be a good option since living with a maid.. can be lonelier than being in a nursing home nursing home has activities and exercise timing..and also regular doctor visits to track the health of ppl living inside. Its certainly better than living with a maid alone.

[@OG21020]

Likely true for me but not for my parents. My dad passed early from an illness. I was the caregiver to my mom for 10 years before she passed. I would try to remain on my feet and active in my own home till my last days though.

[@missjaniceng1434]

In spore elders can stay in their house or flat n hv a maid to care for elderly

[@P53eud0nym05]

The thing is unless you are wealthy & can afford private homes, if not there is quite a waitlist for subsidised homes ie those “govt run” ones. The process is complicated especially if you’re not deemed to be really in need to get checked in to a subsidised home. Its not just a case of oh you’re old, or you have dementia so fine check in to a home. Private homes sure. Not subsidised ones.

[@ag-om6nr]

They are warehouses where people wait to die ! You should do one on the seniors in US prisons !

[@a1r9a9shi99]

I personally think both staying at home with family (if anyone was able to provide care) and being in a nursing home have their own special moments and also challenges. Many with family that would care for that elderly or person in need of assistance still chose to go to nursing home because a facility like nursing home can provide a lot more medical care and round-the-clock care that’s just not possible at home with family members. I never see that as failure or signs that someone is abandoning their elders. One person…or even a team of family member can only do so much and yes people have to work to pay their bills and maybe even for the nursing home too. Good elder care is a necessity and we all should invest in nursing homes so elders have place to go, with family or with no one.

[@judymckee5992]

God bless you Gary, u sound like my sister.

[@simbeekuan4056]

Guess it's very taboo to hear of people who sent the elderly to nursing homes. But seriously it can't be helped if situation does not permit staying at our own homes when there's nobody to look after them at home

[@veraroyen4986]

The nursing homes in Germany are awfull as soon as you are sitting in a weel chair, not able to move the chair yourself, suffering dementia. The problem: We can't pay a 24 hour help and/or we have no extra room for a 24 hours help, so we are forced to go into a nursing home as soon as we can't live alone. Many people don't have relatives anymore to pay attention and care. This is "dangerous" and common: Dehydration, urinary tract infections and all kind of infections, not enough weight, no daily mobilitation.... lead to sicknesses and death.

[@money3ss]

Generally if pay more wld be able to get medical, nursing care & social support.

[@cinnamonbun5510]

My sister children using her as baby sitter, cooks, and house sitter . Because they can not afford the nursing home .they are stinggy to her . Medication Or Good foods she must buy with her own money. Is there any elderly women like That?

[@francistang8209]

There's been considerable focus on nursing homes, but why haven't you discussed the associated expenses? It's important to recognize that middle-income families often struggle to cover these costs without income or private property ownership. You should also delve into the significant issue of charges, which affects many individuals and families. Although your video depicts nursing homes in Singapore as remarkably comfortable places to reside.

[@khokl9288]

Aging needs lots and lots of money.

[@ArnaPrints]

n=my heart is crying but thankful that there is such thing as nursing home. and eventually we will be like them , one of them, we have to be kind to everyone :)

[@nicklee7002]

Children nowadays are already living in childcare and student care centres.