Are We Really Becoming "THAT GIRL" or Just the "SAME GIRL" |

[@KimoraMyliaa]

I really think that people never really have time to think about themselves and what they like because we're CONSTANTLY retaining social media opinions and aesthetics.

[@roselimonta]

very true i be falling into the trap

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Yessss and people are always getting ridiculed for something that is “different” or makes them happy. Like just let ppl live!!!! It gives very much high school dealing with individuals on social media and their opinions.

[@Mayan144]

Good point

[@Nominaze]

THIS RIGHT HERE!!!!

[@auspicious1]

#micdrop

[@Melhanilifestyle]

This is why so many people struggle with depression because they are not being authentic to themselves and their purpose. Absolutely absurd.

[@Shenieta]

Well said 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@z.k.7472]

Great point!! I became so much happier when i painted my room an amazing mango yellow color, never expected it to make me feel that much better

[@ThePhoenixThatRose]

1000%!!!!

[@brittanys5969]

I 1000% agree with this!

[@Simonecheddarblock]

Truth

[@kala5775]

I deleted my tik tok, Instagram, Snapchat etc. all back in June. I got tired of seeing people do the same thing, wear the same clothes, post the same content, reading the same negative comments. I didn’t want social media to affect my way of thinking. So glad I did and I’m never going back.

[@Dajahgang123]

I deactivated all of my accounts and haven’t been on them since April. I don’t think I’m going back lol. Best decision I ever made. Even my husband deleted his social. It’s made us closer and focus on more important things and give our kids more of our time.

[@suicideshy451]

not only that but there is a Photoshop race. not a surgery one though but everyone is photoshopped to look the exact same to... compete?? and it's starting to make me feel genuinely sick. it's creepy...

[@mariahskye7915]

That’s the reason I deleted Twitter a couple years ago. I used to love twitter! It was such a fun app. But now it’s so negative and everyone thinks the same. It’s too much now.

[@bonnieta2717]

Same 👍

[@mimireal6396]

Same!

[@aielianna]

The “that girl” aesthetic and aesthetics in general are so performative to me. Because at it’s core it serves no purpose besides making you appear like you have it all together. I’m not quite sure why people are copying and pasting aesthetics from social media and thinking that it’s some kind of self improvement when it is not.

[@naomicampana]

A word

[@HaahmayanShaalManasseh]

Bingo 😂

[@babygirl_likestochewgum]

This.

[@Angi3_6]

I think it depends what you do with it. In extremes, it can be harmful, and (popular) social media hardly ever does things in moderation.

[@pixystixwhore]

as an aethetic, it’s toxic. as a self-improvement plan? amazing. i feel mentally and physically better after taking tips from the “that girl” trend

[@maymenar9445]

Unpopular opinion.. it’s always been like this . Except with different trends we’re just seeing it more because of social media ..

[@karadumk2352]

I thought the same

[@beth7935]

Yeah, I was thinking this in the 90s, like that all famous women had the same face from plastic surgery. I hate how clothing is all the same, in whatever the latest fashion is- I want to murder whoever brought back high-waist jeans, I suffered through them once already, but you can hardly buy anything else.

[@gissellel663]

Yep! In the 90s the magazine would tell you what’s cool or uncool lol and also your favorite tv shows, movies or artists would set trends and everyone would follow them.

[@ihanakaunotar2741]

Yep, it’s always been like that. It’s just we didn’t live it so we think it’s something that happened for the first time.

[@mel818]

@@ihanakaunotar2741 nah, i lived it and now it's different.

[@gabriellerobertson9761]

That girl routine: - go to sleep at an adequate time so when you wake up you feel refreshed - let your diet fuel your nutritional needs and support your cycle, hormones and mentality - exercise with what feels good for cardiovascular activity and general health - let your home/ environment represent your personality so you feel most comfortable there. After all home is supposed to be your safest place. - dress in what style expresses you - keep your hygiene up - most of all have common sense. :)

[@lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64]

Exactly 🎯.

[@misskay6831]

I love it. I was living this lifestyle when the baddie look was popular. I'm a thin black woman who lifts weights. I also wake up at 4am, 5 hours before work to do what I need to do. I'm a traveling nurse with a very busy schedule and I still find the time to care for myself.

[@gnilanendiaye1212]

Amen !

[@babygirl_likestochewgum]

@@misskay6831 honestly that's really good. Good for you 🎉

[@myriamwilliams]

Well said

[@oneandonly3139]

People are seriously too obsessed and in love with themselves. I'm yet to see people making it goals to be kind and generous and charitable to each other.

[@RuffiRaggaMuff]

This!!!!!

[@diaryofavirtuouswoman]

Yep, Narcissism is at an all time high in this society..

[@cloudyskiees]

@@diaryofavirtuouswoman right, everyones talking about their super high standards for friends and partners and about "matching energy", but if everyone thinks that way then who tf will step up💀 everyones gonna keep it low engagement because of matching energy lol

[@terribryant7699]

Jesus is coming real soon. Eden bout to be restored!! 😂❤

[@joannepranata9405]

kindness is underrated❤

[@karadumk2352]

I've been journalling since I was 13 years old I was shocked when people thought of it as a trend.

[@AnaFB9696]

feel the same... back in my old days, it was "diary" here in Portugal. Now is a trend.. my god. I've been "journaling" since my youth, now i'm 41 years old.

[@JuriAmari]

Same. I’ve been journaling since I was 6/7. Now I’m 30 and I still do it. Journaling has saved my life and mental health - no trend required!

[@katherinef9110]

Amen hunny, didnt know people were somehow unaware of this

[@222dr3amgirl]

literally why do people have to make everything trendy or an aesthetic.

[@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998]

@@AnaFB9696 it’s called a “diary” here in the states as well but I guess that word is becoming less and less common? Lol I’ve been writing in a diary since I was little. Strange how people think it’s some new and enlightening thing

[@para97]

I was at the club last night and I saw a lot of blazers, sleek buns, chunky gold jewelry , milky almond nails and wide leg trousers

[@RuffiRaggaMuff]

😂😂😂 I was in Boston a few weeks ago and I saw a sea of flannel shackets and taupey uggs

[@anissa2361]

In the club? Wow that's interesting.

[@RuffiRaggaMuff]

@@anissa2361 not the club just in the streets but I keep seeing a lot of copy paste

[@kiaj.d.5855]

Wait people love blazers? I don’t have social media so I didn’t know it was a trend. I’m a teacher and I like to layer lol sheesh can’t have anything 😂

[@prettytonipretty]

@freethought YES I live here and all the girls do is copy each other they have no originality whatsoever. It’s cringe asf. I’ve even have a couple girls see something I’m wearing then buy it the literal next day. Bostonians have no originality AT ALL

[@WhenInDoubtPinkbackup]

What’s really hard is that when you don’t fall into the that girl aesthetic as a content creator, people are less drawn to you. I’ve always kind of followed my own wave, but that has definitely caused moments of self-doubt, and second-guessing whether or not it’s just better to go with the group so that I can actually be successful. The aesthetic is pushed because it works, it’s literally what people want to see.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Sooo true, I was doing some form of that content a few years back because that’s what seemed to work as you stated. However, I wasn’t exactly happy and confident with the content I was making. Now switching to commentary, this is the happiest I’ve been and the content I’m most proud of. I don’t plan on ever going back just because that is what’s “popular”. Keep making content that makes you happy and the rest will come!

[@aleruchiì]

I feel you, I feel you so much but authenticity would always pave the way you are being timeless not trendy keep being yourself. Your people would find you ❤

[@shannacollins8371]

People in general don’t even really know themselves or know what they like. Catering to them is going to constantly be jumping through hoops. That’s exhausting, and ain’t nobody got time to do it.

[@chenellebeautytv]

This! 💯

[@arcane1282]

as a girl in 2022, i dont wanna be " that girl". I just wanna be me :)

[@alp7928]

Best comment ever!

[@sayetazonen6607]

Honestly

[@Mindful.Movement.01]

Yes mam. Love it 🎉

[@miffycarter3876]

EXACTLY!!!

[@rayen7304]

one time i said this and got called pick me what the hell is wrong with this generation

[@kekoakaawa8879]

Millennial here. Gen Z and younger will never know the gift of anonymity- before social media. Growing up in the 90s and early 2000s people had their own private lives, time to themselves and to reflect and develop as unique individuals . It was about finding yourself and your own path; whereas now- it seems to be about following everyone else.

[@amnasadzak5283]

I think the oldest of the gen z understand that. Since a lot of us are moving away from social media and doing our own thing

[@realnettieb]

Exactly

[@keyahninaylor4974]

@@amnasadzak5283 same

[@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998]

@@amnasadzak5283 I agree. I’m an older gen z and I don’t really put all my stuff on display on social media nor do I really pay much attention to trends. I just kind do what works and I like to keep my business private. It’s the best way to be

[@KerriganTisdale]

Younger generations have access to anonymity as well. Being on social media is a choice, not a requirement for life. That’s what many of us fail to understand.

[@edannerowe-taylor3152]

As someone who studies fashion there will always be people copying someone especially the looks are successful on social media however I do miss people just wearing what they want and not following trends that don’t work for you/your lifestyle. Wear what you want and do you want you think is best for you.

[@charletfoster8917]

👊🏿

[@Dearashleythatsmee]

I would love to hear your perspective on “blackgirlluxury” as well. Similar context but can also be classist or toxic.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

I did a video on the black girl in luxury movement a few months back, however my perspective has changed a bit since making the video. I think I should do an update!! I also have a feature on a show coming out soon discussing my thoughts on this exact movement. Be on the lookout!!

[@butterflygirl01]

And the baddie hood aesthetic

[@K-allia]

@@butterflygirl01 exactly, i literally cant live without someone asking me “cAn I pUt GeL iN yOuR hAiR?” Like i get and can appreciate certain types of aesthetics but people cannot stop pushing their aesthetics on others. If you dont have an aesthetic, you’re basically a failure 🤦‍♀️

[@anissa2361]

@@ToniBryanneTV Yes please do!

[@miffycarter3876]

It’s VERY toxic if you ask me, glad you commented because most of us black girl can’t just up and do LUXURIOUS things the way it’s being promoted

[@kaylinrobinson5005]

Deleting social media and becoming aware of my screen time is THE most crucial change I have ever made in my life.

[@mayhem875]

I typically take in queer and artistic content, so this aesthetic is not very common for me to see. HOWEVER I feel that in those more quirky and artistic communities, I feel like we have the opposite problem. You have people doing all these amazing artistic things, making their own clothes renovating their houses by themselves, crocheting whole outfits. It can make you feel like you’re not unique enough. Sometimes it can inspire you to try something, like I made a flower mirror cause I saw someone else do it and I liked it. But it can also feel like you’re just not original or creative enough.

[@rebel1281]

I know exactly what you’re taking about!

[@newworldlord643]

I know exactly what you're talking about it's like we all just need to accept ourselves ultimately that's the lesson I think here..

[@RejoiceKauseni]

In most countries, places and families in Africa, you're supposed to wake up at 5 or even earlier than that. I wake up really early mostly 5. Some women wake up at 4 and trust me it's not luxurious. It's a struggle and we deserve to rest 😢 women wake up fetching for water, fetching forewood, getting the home ready, doing chores, and we do it because we have to, but trust me it's not luxury. I always look forward to the time I will be waking up at 8 or 9 because I can't with this. Maybe because most of these influencers are not struggling so it's luxury to think like that to them.

[@chelseaamara7218]

Nope tf you're talking about? Name your own poor African country and leave the rest of Africa with over 50 countries alone. Most ppl in most African countries have a house, car and running water. This is a bs narrative u are willingly pushing, Shame on you.

[@CarolaTesla]

My mom grew up in the countryside of Chile (south america) and it was a similar routine, wake up before dawn, fetch water, fetch firewood, bake bread, feed younger siblings, go to work, return home, fetch water, fetch firewood, prepare food, take care of her father and siblings... Same routine since she was 12, now shes almost 60 and she loves to rest and I understand why. This thing of "that girl" is quite toxic... considering what happens in the real world

[@happyxrich]

And that's why I'm not on TikTok don't want to die from depression. I can fight toxicity from other social media

[@couturemepleasexo]

Simply not caring about this stuff is the most peaceful feeling lmao

[@sydneym-y]

As a sociologist it’s wild watching all the trends happen cause I have a lot of material for my projects. Trends very much die out and come back so we’ll probably see similar trends in 10-20 years. I think trends can be fun in a template sort of way. You take what you like and then add your own spin and change it to best suit you

[@nevaehhmatthews4359]

This is very true especially for me. I'm in my teenage years living in kenya and we don't have the same scenery or same things as people in the US or any other place. It became a very toxic trend for me as I was OBSESSED with becoming that girl and inevitably felt bad about the life I was living and was striving for unreasonable and unrealistic goals. It has taken me a lot of time off tiktok to just come back down to earth and learn to be content with the life I live and who I am as a person. I'm not the girl tiktok wants me to be but as long as I know who I want to be and align it to God's will then everything works out. I love you Toni 😍 💗 and your videos are so educational

[@happyxrich]

I'm happy you realised it on your own. Youre an amazing girl

[@jamelahallsdyer]

Thank you, you inspired me as a teen girl as well thank you

[@linibellini]

I can relate. I live in Europe and most people have small, old apartments even with a good income. Nothing looks as shiny and new here as it does in the LA or NYC influencers homes. Also we often don't even have the same foods available. It's like a different world!

[@BBGL02]

@@linibellini europe is a whole continent be specific

[@linibellini]

​@@BBGL02 Why do I need to be specific if this is true for most of the continent? What the heck?

[@empresszoe9351]

No I don't want to look like a brats doll or cat. I pride myself in looking like myself. You know the normal looking girl with no fake stuff. The girl who looks like she's going extinct.

[@Rebecca-jh1ct]

I’m so happy you talked about this because I thought about this for ages and the “baddie” aesthetic too. It’s so unrealistic and it’s true everyone is starting to look the same because nobody wants to be left out or be an outcast. Nobody is original anymore. But the thing is when you speak your mind or your opinion I find that ppl are afraid to do so because they’re scared of being labelled a “pick me” it’s messed up. Because not everyone can or wants to dress up or wear makeup everyday and if you don’t ppl have the audacity to say “you’ve let yourself go” or bs like that. When in reality people have different views, busy lifestyles etc. it’s cool if you want to do that there’s nothing wrong in that but don’t put down others who can’t achieve this or simply don’t want to. Apparently speaking your mind or saying everyone has a similar aesthetic means your a hater. I don’t know where freedom of speech has gone and where uniqueness has gone. It’s almost as if it’s a crime to be your true self nowadays lol

[@renee6856]

This is odd because aside from any trends which I dont follow trends, in my opinion the definition of "that girl" is standing out and being different being yourself also not caring what others think and being independent. that's my personal definition of that girl. Also it is sad that people probably don't even realize or see that they are legitimately living there life a trend it's unbelievably terrible how people actually revolve there life around these fake lifestyles,

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Yesss! People think they’re just being themselves and the whole time they’re living someone else’s reality that they’ve seen on social media. Tragic really….

[@DeLaTr0ll]

I hate the bring r@ce into this but it’s more of a mainstream yt American thing. I always see bl@ck women being true to themselves. The other day I saw a woman with long blond braids and white thigh high boots living her best life.

[@babygirl_likestochewgum]

I think it's because it's really pleasing to look at, as a result you want to imitate and reproduce what you've seen on social media.

[@cloudyskiees]

yea, ive never looked at those girls as "that girl", ure just another mediocre tiktok girl following an aesthetic :') u just gotta have it in u, like alexa demie or megan thee stallion

[@zainabjanneh8656]

Yasss! I am so happy you spoke on this especially at our young age we need to be ourselves and learn who we are rather than mold to what everyone else is doing!

[@LeeLee-fr4um]

Growing up in the 80's and 90's there were all kinds of groups. There was always trends and fashion to copy, but there was way more individuality back then. In high school there was the heavy metal kids, grunge, goth, skaters, punks, preppy, hip hop. You fit into whichever group you chose. Its def not like that now. It is like everybody has to look the same or your an outcast. Very true 💯

[@melanierobinson4152]

This is a conversation every young girl should hear. We need to learn to be different. We was all born different for a reason. I've never gotten into the "look" and I'm grateful 🙏🏽

[@kaim1810]

Not different, but to just be yourself.

[@Sha.Materia]

It’s interesting that from your perspective everyones becoming the same, because when I was in school everyone would have the exact same shoes, bag, hairstyle, everything, the only variation was that it varied depending what city/town you lived in. And I felt like now there are more different aesthetics people choose from compared to then, even though people are still ultimately choosing an aesthetic to conform to. But maybe that’s just cause I consume a lot of social media and live in London which has so many different subcultures. I also think the reason people choose to dress like people or choose an existing aesthetic is that they just don’t feel they have the time energy or creativity to cultivate an aesthetic true to them, so they just want to be able to choose something that vibes with them and feel they look okay so they can focus on other things. A lot of people just aren’t fashion conscious and it’s not their calling to be, but we live in a world where it matters to your survival in a way. So that’s why you have people just following trends, cause it’s convenient, socially useful and safe (not as risky as wearing something no one else is wearing).

[@naomicampana]

That’s interesting… but that’s a phase, right… at a certain point we must find what makes us US. Interesting.

[@naomicampana]

And, I agree… if anything… it’s the time for image consultants to step up. And diversity.

[@rubyblue4265]

Did they also have the same face, speak in the same annoying way and literally have the exact same pieces of clothing and accessories in their wardrobes? Come on! What is happening today is a very serious and damaging thing, everyone needs to stop making excuses and do better and teach the young people around us to be authentic to themselves. I have seen it happen to my own niece, she went from being this fun and unique girl to becoming a literal copy and paste of the instagram it girl. She doesn’t even seem like herself or sound like herself anymore. And the sad part is, all the effort she put into becoming like everyone else has made her a less happy and bubbly person.

[@oreo_orexx2232]

But that affects the whole thing of being yourself. It's not risky to wear what no one is wearing its unique and people aren't acting unique anymore because they're lives are based off of trends

[@taty87]

I haven’t even finished the video yet cause girl you said “honestly it’s getting boring” and I SHOUTED “YESSSS!!!” at my tv. I watched a video from @BlakeJael some months ago and she talked about how as a creative she has to take breaks from Pinterest so that she can listen to her OWN thoughts and opinions on stuff and tap into her OWN creativity rather than repeating stuff that was already out there, so when it was time to redecorate my living room, I got off the socials and tried to figure out what I wanted. For months I looked at white couch living rooms and I’m currently sitting on a giant beautiful ORANGE couch that I love. The white might be prettier to look at and more aesthetically pleasing but this makes me happier 😊

[@TheRealCamillee]

Yes! I’ve been saying this since 2017!! I noticed every female started looking the same on Instagram!!

[@ToniBryanneTV]

They’re literally carbon copies of one another!! Same poses, same pictures, same apartment, same surgery, same furniture, same career, same job…it’s all the same

[@KiniaSwaby]

I don’t like the way people dress anymore I like knowing about fashion but yeah everyone does dress the same. Never though about it.

[@soteriaraymond]

This is nothin but the truth. I can take 2 or 3 with the same aesthetic buuuut every girl has the same exact one along with content and sometimes personalities. We need unique people or as you said, people need to push being themselves. :)

[@briannabliss1530]

There’s a show on Netflix called “Black Mirror” and this one specific episode called ‘Nosedive’ is what the world is turning into, literally what you are discussing in this video.

[@Krysb107]

I just had this conversation with a friend the other day. We are both in our late 30s but are often around younger girls between 18-25. They ALL speak the same, have the same opinions, and dress the same. Growing up, we all did our own thing, and had our own thoughts and opinions. Sure there were trends, but not like today. It’s almost robotic and it weirds me out🤣 I’m glad to see someone else discussing it

[@KiniaSwaby]

Thank Goodness I don’t know shit about Soceity. My life is just go to school and church. Watching this makes me more and more happy with how I look.

[@michelleb2.]

100% agree. The current aesthetic is so overtly saturated, inauthentic, and non-creative. So, many go to SB for coffee in lieu of patronizing and promoting small coffee/tea businesses within various cities. Imagine how helpful this would be to boost local boutiques ,other shops and it would set the influencer a part……… from the herd!!!

[@uxnne4492]

Looove this topic. Couple months ago I was trying to shop for clothes and noticed that ALL shops had similar or same clothes/style. I left feeling so down because none of the clothing suited my style and I kept thinking ‘why does everything look the same?’. Thank you so much for speaking about this! x

[@usisiphoqamata]

Love this video, I literally wrote about this a year ago...Spot on! Social media is making people lose individuality. If you think about it deep you realize how damaging this is, because we are all born with unique traits and interests, but now we filter our personalities so much because of social media.

[@trarondahicks188]

I remember I told my sister a few years ago everyone is starting to look alike and she thought I was crazy. For a while I started to think something was wrong for me not being able to attain that look, but now I just don't care about it. Somebody gotta be ugly/average 🤷🏿‍♀️

[@tasha1985]

Really liked this video PLEASE go more in dept and do one for black women you touched on the lace fronts but its more. Everybody and they momma wearing these dramatic eyelashes and long nails even these little young girls. This is really why I stopped wearing eyelashes and getting my nails long they just got to popular for me and I don't like looking like everybody else. Its even annoying to see it. I'm at the point now where I don't even like getting my nails done because of it.

[@Thufferinthuckotash]

Sorry, I’m replying really late but I just wanted to say: I completely get it. It annoys me when people use the term “not like other girls” when you want to differentiate from the crowd or say something against the current trends. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to associate yourself with some trends.

[@mooret212]

Whew, I started to realize recently influencers' rooms or living rooms looked like luxury hotel rooms and was like my home doesn't look like that 😂 and was about to feel some kind of way. However, I am on my being authentic and unique. Lord, help me to stay true to You and myself.

[@Harley24986]

My daughter just started hs this year and we had a similar conversation. She made the comment that all the girls at her school look the same. Same hair, same makeup, everything. This makes me love her style even more but she definitely stands out like a sore thumb 😂 at least she doesn’t mind!

[@JaeElise]

I literally said the same sh*t yesterday ! Girl living inside my head!

[@ToniBryanneTV]

you know what they say about great minds lol

[@gibbishgiggles]

Great minds think alike 🤠

[@odothedoll2738]

As a wise man once said: “It doesn’t matter what they say in the papers cause it’s always been the same old scene; there’s a new band in town but you can’t get the sound from a story in a magazine, aimed at your average teen.”

[@KiniaSwaby]

I like the natural look of people not plastic when I see the before and after. Hey

[@sharri5412]

I hate lacefront.. I hate the lashes and only wear it 2 twice a year. I refuse to dress and behave like social media. I'm being about my business until its over. my body will be my body where I live is where I live. My Career is my career, my decor is my decor. It's because we have a mind to consume rather than express what God gives us inside.

[@chassidytv6462]

Is it me or do I not like the grey tile floors and white/grey wall aesthetic It’s cute with pops of color but I wish people went back to the 2000s where it was fun colorful and creative

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Yessss it would be so much more fun seeing people’s personality show through their home decor. I’m so tired of seeing the same exact minimalistic approach.

[@prettyminaj5268]

I wish Celebs still dressed like how they used to in the early 2000s, especially Nicki Minaj, she was such a fashion icon

[@tisonhood]

Thank you!!! I’ve been saying this for a while now! Most people that has a full time job and things to do before and after work could never live a “that girl” lifestyle. I wish more people would bring light to this subject and show more real life scenarios.

[@sabahchoudry3183]

Wow I rarely leave comments, but I think I’ve been unconsciously thoughts about this but you put those thoughts so beautifully!! I think this is why so many young people are depressed or feel “lacking” because everyone wants this ideal content creator lifestyle

[@prettylittleinvestor]

This year I’ve been working on my authenticity and honoring clothing pieces that spark true joy for me - I love prints so I’m trying to incorporate more into my wardrobe - I clicked. On this video because it’s crazy that everyone looks the same now 😳

[@unapologeticallyblackbeaut7161]

When I said this, I was called a hater. But “every” girl literally absolutely looks the same. On social media of course. From the lips, to the hair, to their lifestyle. I commented on a video & told one influencer that her lifestyle is not realistic. Her followers came for me & I was ready. When ppl put it out there that they have it ALL together, I question their mental state. I am a newly single mom of 3 teens (13,14 & 15) that barely has time for herself. I was told that I’m not trying hard enough. All of my kids play sports, I went from 2 incomes to 1. So I work 2 full time jobs. I work from home during the day and then I work at night outside of the house. I have to work 2 jobs to make sure ALL of the bills are paid, groceries are in the house and ALL my kids sports fees etc are covered. While I do need to make sure I take care of myself, it’s very hard.

[@naomicampana]

Agreeeeeeeeeed. That’s why at some point, I move to Africa to see people wear COLOURS. LIVE LIFE. AND EXPRESS THEIR AUTHENTICITY. Even if I don’t like it, just the sheer joy on a person’s face because they put themselves together… woah. I wanna see, aesthetic from Myanmar, Nepal, Malawi, Cameroon, Sénégal, Peru, the indigenous communities… and as you said it’s all pretty WHITE, DULL AND BORING. Colours add something… you’re painting something. Ever since I came back…. Although I love me some blk… I streeeeeer away from it. Also your commentary is à propos, but just like anything else… the USA is not the center of the world… strong chokehold on culture and it’s a strategy… but honestly… Kim K, nor Kylie are the most beautiful women… I now understand why immigrant parent, including mine were SO PROUD AND WILLING TO WEAR traditional clothes when we immigrated. I get it now… but back then I was more interested in jeans and not making myself seen… but that the trick… people wanna see you. Thank you for your commentary. You’re levelheaded…

[@gavacasa]

I’m from Peru but I’m currently living in France. The comment about the colors is spot on. Whenever I got out, is easy to find me as I’ll be the only one wearing bright colors during winter

[@naomicampana]

@@gavacasa hahaha seeeee?!

[@chiquita683]

So many women think they are rebels getting a tattoo but literally all of them are getting the same tacky tattoos. Stand out with no tats

[@ToniBryanneTV]

Wait but I’ve literally noticed the influx of women getting tattoos, but not just any old tattoos…huge ones!

[@sagba947]

Yeah I started getting tattoos 10 years ago a lot of them are covering up bbls

[@Edemayy]

Orrrr just do what you like not for the sake of standing out ?

[@jarenfromvenus]

It’s not necessary to stand out. It’ll just be another trend set. Unplug.

[@yolandaholliday4964]

What I am seeing in our black community are the lace front wigs with the baby hair and the extreme long eyelashes. Everyone is starting to look alike.

[@yunyunid981]

“that girl” basically got reduced into something marketable, and it’s sad. it should’ve never become a full-blown aesthetic, to me it’s more of a philosophy, where i try to take care of myself to the best of my ability. i’m watching this video 7 months after you posted, and thankfully it looks like the hype for the aesthetic part of “that girl” is dying down (at least in my recs/explore page)

[@TheCrystallineLeoness]

I am glad I'm a 'weird' 'witchy' 'hippy' girl that's standing slightly out of the border of normality within society, because I see this homogenous theme going around every where. I'm not from the USA, I'm from Scotland, but even here, women and young girls are all trying so hard to aim towards the same aesthetic and abandon their own unique style. The only time I would get up at 5am would be to watch the full moon conjunct with Mercury or Jupiter or some other astrology shit was happening in the sky. I have a baby girl too and I don't want to teach her to be boring and basic. I want to teach her to be wildly unique and dance to her own beat.

[@chanellllllll8190]

Aint nun wrong with being basic tho. Just be yourself, don’t conform

[@TheCrystallineLeoness]

@@chanellllllll8190 It's not a flex tho. Being basic is the epitome of having zero personality and stealing traits from trends and painting it up as your own ID.

[@SamStPeter]

while i kinda dig the "hotel aesthetic" of their spaces sometimes, that montage really made me love and appreciate my style and home decor even more than i already did

[@jbslimshaddy]

A 'Brow lift' ?? That's crazy, like I can't even understand being told that your brows aren't good enough, like brows are literally just existing! This is wild! Great video!!!

[@briannaspikes3128]

Yes! And people will literally bully you for “gatekeeping” they all want to look, act, smell, talk, walk the same … these cookie cutter personalities and bodies and faces.

[@chaniandjoe8326]

Totally late to this video, but everyone dressing the same is so true. I went out with my bf and I wore a colourful patterned coat and aside front one lady in her 60s wearing a purple coat. EVERYONE was a sea of black or beige. I understand that in winter, you want a coat to go with everything, but you're gonna take it off when you go inside...

[@lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64]

Why is it unrealistic to eat well, exercise, and take good care of yourself? Why do people that don't do this feel bad about themselves? Why don't they just do it themselves instead of comparing themselves to others?

[@misskay6831]

Right, I'm so confused. This seems healthy to me.

[@TsukinoUtokki]

because "that girl" only works 1.5 hour a day "responding to emails" (from her sponsors bc she's an influencer) and most people work 8 hours and don't have that much time to do all those aesthetic things

[@h.b2774]

Because they present this lifestyle in such an unattainable way. You are right, there is nothing wrong with eating well, exercising and taking care of yourself, but most people do not have the time, money and resources to copy the That Girl lifestyle to a T and this makes them feel inadequate.

[@mel818]

she didn't say it's unrealistic, the way those influencers depict all that is unrealistic.

[@Neesha242]

@@TsukinoUtokki Why don’t they have time for it? Can they make time for it if they really wanted to? If they don’t make time for it does it mean that they just simply don’t want to?

[@angeliquealamer]

💯💯💯 Finally someone said it!! I noticed this when watching YT’ers and noticing everyone has the white everything, the espresso in their clear glass mug & straw, everyone’s into “neutrals”, etc etc. First thought that came to my mind was how sterile and dead everything felt. I appreciate the cleanliness, but not the uniformity. What a boring world if we were all the same!!

[@Redabook7]

A lot of good points were made and it's definitely visible that a large portion of social media influencer and everyday people are falling into the same aesthetic. But this has always been the case. Largely do to people wanting to looking the same and as close to what they see as the average successful person. It's no secret on social media there are thousands of different aesthetic and sub cultures with their own unique looks that have a decent sized community to enjoy it. These aesthetic are just largely shunned or labeled 'too out if the norm' so it get pushed side.

[@ktostam35]

These trends make me hate the color white. White is so nice, but the "that girl" and the "modern life" trends have SO much white in it it makes me ill. If I lived in a fully white home with barely any color I'd go insane. I love my colorful blankets and plushies and my super old bed and my brother's old desk and my super dark chair that don't match the rest of my furniture at all, thank you very much. (Ik no one forces me to change those but honestly these trends make me feel like we are pressured to match our furniture and get rid of the old mismatched ones even if they work well just for a stupid aesthetic.)

[@DaysiFranco]

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS TO LIGHT! You know intuitively I thought that we are all becoming the same, even when I choose things I want to buy to decorate with I limit myself to the "that girl" aesthetic, which as of now is neutrals, neutrals, neutrals!!! When I want to personally buy things of color or patterns, b/c its the Aquarius uniqueness in me (LOL!) that wants to be go outside the conforms of this "aesthetic"/lifestyle... I know I have a choice but I see the influencers on youtube, TikTok, and instagram and their lives look calm/peaceful/quaint that if I emulate their look I'll attain what they have too... which no it doesn't work this way and it only causes anxiety in me. It causes anxiety b/c I don't have time or resources ($) to make all my life aesthetically pleasing, and it feels like every other girl can. I even took a break from instagram, it's been a week because I noticed myself succumbing to these "that girl" aspects and it is exhausting and unrealistic to set these expectations of women. I often feel like they're not enough ours in the day, and although I am learning to make time for myself, I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I am not doing enough self-care or not long enough within the days. This issue is a very complex one because it promotes what most don't have or don't have easy access too, most of us working and going to school do not have time to live like this. Thank again for bringing this to light! - new follower.

[@atum6]

You know, rod serling the writer of the twilight zone wrote about this in 1964 called “Number 12 Looks Just Like You”. He was ahead of his time. It’s deep. If you get a chance, try to look at it.

[@ToniBryanneTV]

My father is a huge Twilight Zone fan and owns every volume! I will definitely check it out!

[@ladyzscuisine1166]

I’m glad to come across this, I can even find myself getting pulled in, so I’ve started changing who’s on my feed, and also scrolling less. We should worry more about tapping into our uptmost divine femininity as individual women. That is a whole DIFFERENT journey inside and out. It’s a beau thing and everything else starts to align for you

[@glamgetter1910]

I absolutely love fall and I’m always looking forward to fall decor videos. I haven’t been able to find one that wasn’t all beige with a hint of burnt orange pumpkins.

[@CrepuscularQueen]

If I was writing a dystopian novel for a society of everyone being grown in the same environment I would describe the wellness aesthetic. Clean. Crisp. Minimum color. Lack of authenticity. But still pleasing to a certain degree. After time it becomes daunting following the same routine, seeing the same structure, lack of color and personality in environment for everyone. Yet it gives a sense of wellness and health so nobody realizes they are being brainwashed to a crisp controlling society. Yeah my minds definitely going to attempt a story line now :] Edit: I just found your channel and I enjoy it so much! I can't believe I didn't found it sooner ♡

[@nameless9851]

I tried to follow this lifestyle when I quit college and was on a gap year cause of depression. I had nothing to do, so I would dedicate all my time to self-improvement, art, and wellness. It actually helped me a lot, especially exercising. I have to mention that I don't really have money or a job, so I did the "cheap" version of that girl lol xd Perhaps I should mention that I don't use social media besides youtube, therefore I didn't have to show off, you know. I hardly doubt, however, that an average high-schooler or working adult could follow this routine.

[@amandamacabre]

I think this kind of thing has always existed. On the mainstream level, there's always been a luxurious, aspirational lifestyle to look up to and imitate as much as possible and you were shamed if you didn't follow it. And narrowing it down to teenagers, there's always been subcultures where everyone is a clone of each other until they grow up enough to be themselves confidently (this doesn't always mean outgrowing the subculture either, just you're comfortable doing it in a way authentic to you). I remember being a teen and making fun of the skater dudes for all having the same hair cut and my bff looked at me and was like "uhhhh look at all of our hair" and it was a moment of painful self awareness 😂

[@CaliSayna]

I had to move out of Los Angeles in order to even try to have such a calm life where I can wake up, eat, work out and journal just because the busy streets of LA don’t allow that, you’ll be stuck in traffic for trying to get the tiniest thing done which is the opposite of that aesthetic! The air is dirty and over all everything but a dream

[@beautifullyyflawedd]

That’s why I don’t use social media anymore lol I only use streaming apps. I noticed that all on my peers were dressed alike, behaving the same & wearing the same hair styles. Then I was always overlooked because I was being myself.

[@mariamsissoko8088]

It is so difficult now to be yourself when you have been brainwashing by social media. I particularly feel like I don't know who I am anymore, I'm to cut all social media and reconnect to myself, but yeah it's kinds difficult now... 😢

[@destinycurry5521]

Feline (fee-line) a cat lol that made me giggle! Loved this vid!

[@driley5004]

There's no individuality anymore. I HATE the houses, decor, food, yoga, etc omfg I'm so tired of seeing it! I'm glad u covered this.

[@frontoffice9114]

All these celebrities either look like dudes, or cartoon characters. The real woman in the world are the most natural and beautiful.

[@Teenyteenager]

I am lucky that I found your channel thanks for covering this topic .it was bothering me that are we really being same and u made the topic clear

[@OHoneyPot]

I’m so glad you touched on this because I see it too. I cleaned off my social media a lot. I only follow family, a few makeup artists and home decor.

[@resilientbodies]

I recently found you here on YT and you hit every nail on the head for me. 😮‍💨 the accuracy with your commentary; it’s like you take the words right out of my mouth. I appreciate TF out of you!!!!! Thank youuuuu

[@jessicahanson6105]

I remember obsessing over wanting to be like other girls. I’m now 30 and all that was exhausting you get what you get with me now. I obviously still take care of myself I just don’t have time to live a perfect life.

[@anne-claudelparr9694]

I'm so happy somebody finally SPOKE THE TRUTH haha I thought I was the only one noticing it.

[@adoseofinfinity]

Damn I’m glad somebody said it 👏🏽🏆

[@aneshaelizabeth]

I completely agree!! It’s not just TikTok, but KZbin is like this as well. I’m moving in 6 months and I was looking for some inspiration to decorate my new place. As I was scrolling, every thumbnail looked the same. The same “luxury” apartments, the same furniture, the same bed, and the same color scheme (black and white). Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the black and white color scheme, but some of them do it to fit and aesthetic not because they like it (black is my fav color). I unsubscribed and unfollowed some individuals because I saw that they were doing and buying certain things to be part of the trend or be the “it girl” and I felt they were no longer authentic.

[@michaelajames99]

I just got to college after being homeschooled and let me tell you, I am truly learning a new performance of femininity, “cool”, and what not. It’s almost forced me to care a bit more about how I’m perceived by others

[@johanacaba5219]

I’m just seeing this video, but you should cover how if you compare social media growth between a white girl that fits that aesthetic vs. a black or Hispanic female like myself, the white girl’s following will grow a lot faster even if their content is less valuable…just a thought cause it’s something that I’ve seen and experienced personally and it’s frustrating

[@amandalea8772]

I agree with everything you’ve said in this vid and it still applies in Australia. I also think it’s so damaging from a mental health perspective. I’ve struggled for a long time and know from talking with various professionals and through my own experiences that we all have different things that make us feel better. If ppl see these things and think that’s what they’re supposed to do to feel good they may keep reaching to do that instead of doing what actually works for them as an individual.

[@gargisharma1578]

This video made me feel so much better and relaxed! Honestly I think a lot of these videos make us feel as if we are never doing enough, or not being productive enough. This becomes especially hard if you are a normal middle class working woman. And like that girl said in the video, especially hard to attain if you have an ethnic background.

[@meaganalexander2088]

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, and anyone who believes in Him will have eternal life.” John 3:16 This life is very, very short, but very, very important. Outer beauty is fleeting, but inner beauty is priceless. Live with PURPOSE. This obsession with looks, friends, money, food, the things you have, or the lack thereof, all of that stuff is absolutely meaningless - don’t allow yourself to get distracted by what takes your life away from you. God bless you!

[@ceoadiba]

I love this, say it louder for all to be at peace with themselves!

[@lacecocoa6272]

I like this video and it's so right too many people are following each other and that's why they never grow or become anything and why they walk around depressed. You have to do your own thing in life and become your own person or else you're going to forever be unhappy. People misunderstand are misinterpret looking at other people's lives and applying that to their own they think you supposed to apply every aspect and that's not the case. You take the good out of every situation you apply that to your life but you also develop your own sense of style your own thing kind of like being a kid and growing up and your parents put all the tools in your backpack you you take that backpack to school you carry it and you take out everything that you want to take out for a class which is basically how life is you pick up tools from everybody that you meet and see but you decide what you want to keep along your journey and what you want to leave behind. I'm glad I'm not on social media like that I've never been a person that's so fat and social media and when I was that is when I was the most depressed

[@jurinacleaver2342]

Honestly this is exactly why I decided to let my natural hair color grow out (dark ash blonde with some grey now) and rock my natural 2C/3A curls now, because I agree it's better to just love yourself as is...I even started a Instagram account at the age of 47 where I try to teach people to love themselves as is, but I focus on hair, because textured hair is stunning and unique and temperamental 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but I love everything about it!!!

[@biaotoch]

this. Also people need to stop trying to be what they are not, tf just be you

[@TheLisaloveee]

I know people who were like this before it became an aesthetic. Most people who have these routine lifestyles tend ti be people who need these routines to survive their day to day life. I hate that its a trend now because it is NOT for everyone.

[@TheLisaloveee]

Also it is not so extreme nor pressed..

[@neidacabreragarcia6353]

I see it as a way to feel good about yourself/ maybe for some people that have depresion doing some of these things is good for them, and as someone who does have depression it’s hard to think for yourself

[@teresamunoz91]

I agree with what you said around 3:30-4:00, that look is boring. When I get my own place, I plan to use bright colors not just sad beige, white, and gray

[@expensivenoodle]

Truly I love the concept of “That Girl,” I love taking care of myself, being healthy and becoming my highest self. It seems an offshoot of the That Girl aesthetic is also the “Clean Girl” look, which frankly doesn’t make sense to me because if you shower doesn’t that make you a “Clean Girl”?? Lol. I agree with your points and that we should customize our lifestyle according to our needs and honouring the cultures that we come from. Being an Asian girl I just don’t have the stomach for the bland white people food. I love my spices! I love bold flavours! I NEED variety! And I just love colour. I love neutrals too, but I gotta have my colour. Pinks and reds are my neutrals. 😆 It certainly would be nice to see more ethnic versions of “That Girl” on Tiktok who isn’t ashamed of her food and culture. Would luv to see it.

[@selfwar9147]

As a stay at home mom I stop watching stay at home mom videos. It just makes me depressed. I mean I have a two year old some days I can’t even brush my hair. this is ridiculous it provides unrealistic expectations of a mom or a wife. After I gave birth had postpartum depression and KZbin made it worse I felt like a terrible mom and wife why can’t I just wake up at 5am put on make up play with my baby and not look tired. I mean I just gave birth my body was healing and I am adjusting to a new life. I hope new moms don’t rely on these videos as the daily life of the average mom. I can go on (the unrealistic breastfeeding expectations) I’m glad I breastfed but it is nothing like what KZbinrs shows. It’s one the hardest thing I had to do. It’s worth it but I wish mom showed that it’s not fun waking up at 3am breastfeeding. There house always look so tidy like how is this possible 🙄

[@Leoniqua]

Ugh. 9 months postpartum with PPD and I regret binge watching so many stay at home mom videos and first time mom videos. I'm still struggling to this day with feeling the need to do "more" in my roles as a wife, mother, and an individual. It's rough.

[@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998]

You also have to remember that they only show you the good days. You have no idea what their everyday is like since they only show you the days they were able to get those things together. They could be in shambles for the rest of the month, but they were having a good day that day and decided to post it on KZbin.

[@ivegotmypopcorn3401]

That’s exactly why no one should compare and look at this women and say I wish I could do that it’s alllll smoke and mirrors Idc what anyone says.

[@yummymellon4058]

Ahhh.. Thank you for these englightment.. As I was wandering coming from a not a wealthy family from SEA Country I thought that people on the other side (westerners) are always damn wealthy like those in vlog videos with splendid routine journalling things.. But then again. The Internet is a miniscule population of people that being display to what the audience wants not necessarily what real life is.

[@Oqhixiism]

I find it funny how I use to get bullied for dressing “different” (not trendy) and when I did try to fit in I got made fun of for trying to fit in.