Are you in a Confused Relationship? ‐ Disorganized & Ambivalent Insecure Attachment | Dr Sia

Hi, my name is Dr Sia. I am a psychotherapist, lecturer, and researcher. As per usual, I hope you comment, subscribe, and press that bell icon for regular updates.
In this video series I talk about different types of relationship structures in its various types. I have coined these terms myself so do not bother looking up the terms but the research that underlies them is solid IMO. I will release lots of videos on different types of relationships so I hope that they resonate with you all. Please do check out the channel if you are interested in attachment, defences, and psychotherapy such as ISTDP. I hope you find the video useful and that is resonates with you!
Also, make sure to follow me on @doctorsia on insta for regular written posts, IGTV posts, and live IGTV sessions on Thursdays at 19.30 AEST and more!
To contact me for sessions, supervision, or training, via telehealth or face to face:
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[@Liankirry]

I don't agree that it can't work. It does take a lot of work from both people though, and a lot of awareness about how to navigate the most common challenges in this dynamic. That information sadly isn't available to everyone.

[@Ridiculi]

Yeah this was sadly relatable.

[@YoBoiElifr]

Spot on

[@drsia2323]

I laugh every time I see the beginning!

[@loria287]

Great content. I’m fearful avoidant or what you called chaotic. And I have dated only 2 anxious preoccupied people and I’ll never date them again for the reasons mentioned in the video. My most recent AP I will say we started off slow then changed speeds abruptly. I created a routine for us that my ex expected to be consistent and maintained but because of my attachment style I was very dismissive and hot and cold. My ex was too forgiving, too dependent, too willing to change for me and I didn’t like that. I found myself constantly apologizing for the things that were my norm and hated that I always felt like I was doing something wrong. I was applying for graduate school, finishing research, and dealing with finals when my ex came into my life and I was extremely busy or simply just exhausted. My ex wanted to talk about the differences between “trust and believe” during the time where I was most worried about a well written SOP. I’d become distant and irritable and my ex would just beg for my attention. I ended up saying some pretty hurtful things to get my ex to leave me and it felt like a breath of fresh air to be alone. I’m currently in my career, practicum, graduate program, and doing more research, so there would have just been no way we would have worked. I think about my ex seldom and when I do it’s never positive thoughts, it’s more or less being thankful that I dodge a needy bullet. I’ll take a dismissive over an anxious person any day, and they are too characters. Anxious is definitely worst in my opinion. lol but I’d like to suggest using different terminology. 😂 I mean I know I’m chaotic but dang I’m fine with being called Fearful avoidant. Disorganized attachment works but it’s not commonly used and neither is ambivalent attachment. Anxious preoccupied is most used now for that attachment type. Using these will also bring in more views because these are the words that are searched. Just my thoughts.

[@chantalvanham8912]

Wooooooow……… so true

[@ericakirk3264]

Sounds exactly like my ex relationship