Are you stuck in the 'friendzone?' @Susan Winter

[@SusanWinter]

JC!! HERE'S THE ANSWER TO YOUR SUPERCHAT QUESTION THAT I MISSED. So, "does NC increase their interest in us?" Yes and no. Yes, it can, if there was an odd break with mixed messages and huge mutual attraction. NO, it cannot (as a rule), if they left you because they were bored, disappointed or attracted to someone else.

[@datingdiaries1681]

Yep people don't friend zone those they are sexually attracted to ..we must realize this and move on and still have high confidence

[@lemarch57]

You're right about people not friend zoning people they're sexually attracted to Unless the new prospect changes their mind about the connection. Then suddenly prior person looks good again. Be aware of that and walk on. If they kept their options open once, they'll do it again. Walk on. Save yourself the heartache if being used by a player.

[@maikhan2247]

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[@maikhan2247]

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[@maikhan2247]

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[@maikhan2247]

@@lemarch57 Qi Woo Qi Cqqqqqqoqqq Qqqqo Qoqq Oncqo C no o woo

[@maureenburke3717]

Susan I wish I had been on the live. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS.

[@SusanWinter]

Oh Maureen. Time to evacuate.

[@peterchin7796]

this is exactly what I needed to hear, I have been getting more intimate with this girl that I am interested in, she has been wary of getting into a relationship again due to heartbreak from previous relationship. I believe I have been patient enough to spend time to make sure how I feel for her, now, I will step up my effort and make it clear, of how I feel for her. no point dragging this on forever and ever, thank you so so much Susan, this is a fundamental realization for me!

[@TheCartajay]

Susan i just want to say how awesome you are and i appreciate all your advice, you are amazing

[@MindBodyBronx]

I LOVE YOUR WORK. You’ve helped me find my strength time and time again. I hope you see this. How does one become comfortable having just a friendship with someone you really care about and dated before, how can you compromise when they’ve made it clear that they don’t see you romantically anymore? Is it possible the feelings will go away while in the friendship or is it just a lost cause or should try and cut contact with this person until I’m completely over it?

[@shelleysanders9666]

Incredibly articulate description of the ‘friend zone’ at the beginning of this video

[@maureenburke3717]

THIS IS WONDERFUL! I NEEDED THIS SO MUCH!!! I have been in love with my best friend for 4 years not knowing what to do! THANK YOU FOR THE SOLID COMPASSIONATE ADVICE! IT TORTURE BEING IN THIS POSITION.

[@SusanWinter]

My dear, it is indeed torture. You can let go. Not to worry. You'll find your strenght again. You'll be able to feel happy again. I wish you all good things!

[@gumerzambrano]

Thank you so much for this! I just now gained the confidence to let go of this girl that has friendzoning me for 7 years.

[@alexflips393]

You were on fire here Susan!

[@Edith.G.G.]

I absolutely love your view of life Susan ❤️

[@Iamchristaelaine]

Oh no no. We either in or out

[@zaink7037]

The funny thing with me is me and the girl I liked started liking each other after 12 years knowing each other. We were more the type to talk to each other in school in certain classes than through the phone or outside school. Sadly she started getting cold towards me in our last year of college which I think foreshadowed where she is now. She got married to a family relative a few months ago and got engaged a year after college. I was heartbroken until I found she dropped out academia ruining her career to become a school teacher. She also had a son which I believe was before marriage. I think her husband got her pregnant whilst they were engaged so they have to get married and he knew he had to come from his country to live here in the UK. She disowned a close friend because she told her she couldn't attend her wedding which I feel is petty and she doesn't work. Nothing good said about her and I thank God I didn't get with her. I still get upset thinking I liked her for 7 years and she was seeing another guy in half that

[@CosmoMakeupgurl]

I told my friend...we can't be friends based off of your principals and I feel 10 lbs lighter. He is hurt but he will be ok. Thank you for your help🙏.

[@sean-xm9661]

Bravo ,Susan...! ( and looking stunning ! ) another straight to the point vid...! ♡♡♡♡♡

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Sean!

[@omgitsmakoto2743]

I mistyped in the super chat. 😮 I meant. It was a one sided relationship and I had to obey like a good dog otherwise he will start an argument or dump me by text. So many things bothered me like Never sticking up for me, because according to him sticking up for me was unrealistic and asking for prince charming. Kept a 83 year old guy around that was obsessed with him and kissed my ex boyfriend who is 28 three times on different occasions while my ex was with me, comparing me to his Ex boyfriend who he holds on a pedestal. I don't think it was a very respectful relationship and happy to be out of it will not go back to him for a 6th time. 🙂 I sent the text about the ego a month ago after being dumped by text.

[@SusanWinter]

Have you heard me talk about 'bad doggie?' I have guy friends who are also punished for the slightest infraction and often time for things they didn't do. YOu're better off free from that whole dynamic.

[@JillWhitcomb1966]

Susan, you look like a glamorous beautiful classic movie star. The NY humidity agrees with you !

[@datingdiaries1681]

I've done this to guys and have had two guys do this to me so I know both sides of the coin .....not a great feeling

[@31Alden]

Greetings Susan! The answer is simple: The Friend Zone, otherwise known as No Man’s Land, is non-negotiable. Period. End of discussion. xx “The Other Susan” ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

Love that, the 'other' Susan

[@halilisarahjeannev.4330]

I mustered all my courage and prepared myself for being rejected, told the guy how I really felt about him. The problem was, he didn't reject me nor accept me and we still continued our communication as if nothing happened and he treated me better.I'm now confused , am I being friendzoned or what? Btw, we are working in the same company where lovers are not allowed. So it adds to my problem whether he just sees me as a friend or because of work. (He's Planning to resign though)

[@tanyao2004]

Thank you Susan!! Yes please do a friendzone after your married/with someone *with kids and without...Should we stay friends.. I'm trying with my ex.. but it's hard.. especially when you have kids.

[@SusanWinter]

TanTan. Glad you dropped in for this show. I didnt' discuss taht angle

[@igatti9923]

I have almost never experienced this situation. Maybe when I was very young and it turned out that this guy decided at a certain moment down the road that I was the perfect woman for him after having watched me (via mail at that time) falling attracted to other males. It was an infatuation, I had after three dates with him and he decided I had to stay in the friendship dimensions because "I wasn't self confident enough for him" and "not enough Mediterranean" as a woman/girl (he was from Sweden and I am from Northern Italy). Later he changed his mind but I had already moved on. But now whwnever I see that a friend of mine feels something more for me, I do not give him any crack of hope. I don't wanna waste ppl's time. The moment I care for them as human beings and I would like to keep them in my life, they realize that they are just friends and if they feel good with the situation, they don't go away. This way I don't disrespect them and I keep value in my life.

[@SusanWinter]

I totally agree. Being clear about where the boundaries are is the kindest thing we can do for anyone circling us in hopes that will never be fulfilled. I commend you on your ethics and your truthfulness

[@igatti9923]

@@SusanWinter thanks. I have learned a lot from you.

[@tuff47]

Friendzone. Yep! That's me. She said we could just be friends. I've called and emailed. She does not respond. As I see it, don't "friends" return calls or emails?? The fact is this: She lied to me about being just friends. It was a tactic used to tell me to get lost.

[@keoki37]

Hi, I indicated I liked somebody a lot and got friendzoned ? This is different from your topic discussion, make yourself known..please comment thanks

[@gabriellewilliamson5810]

Hi ireland Gabrielle

[@allthethingswithjuliet3037]

I’m a bigger girl so I want them to not just judge me on my appearance and like me as a person and by doing that I end up friendzoned… every single time … I’m always the “Girl Guy friend ..” it’s so painful … damned if I do damned if I don’t

[@blissfulllife7625]

Blessed to hav you Susan 😘😘♥️♥️

[@Just4commentchannel]

my ex lover actually used the term friendzone on me..."i feel like youre trying to move out the friend zone"...yea im out

[@kelsey7859]

What if I tell someone that she can just choose me over her ex like jokingly then she said she's not yet ready because she was traumatized of her recent relationship.. should I wait or not?

[@blissfulllife7625]

Thanks!

[@SusanWinter]

THANK YOU!!

[@alexflips393]

What if 9 times out of 10 I’m only attracted to someone because of their looks. How do I correct that?

[@stevem3618]

Got this same problem myself 😂

[@alexflips393]

I’ll try and super chat her on Thursday on her live video.

[@alexflips393]

But for what’s it worth I think the media and other areas has made us want only the pretty girls.

[@toto-dh9dw]

U dont walk away lol been there done that.. big headache lol

[@igatti9923]

I am not on the dating market either. I just let love find me. I broke up with someone some months ago. I feel lonely but I am not looking at any cost.

[@gainfulheart]

You broke up and then now feel lonely? Perhaps it is not real love then? Sorry, just confused about your statement.

[@SusanWinter]

I think there is great wisdom in feeling lonely, and sitting with that feeling-Yet not acting out of desperation. Smart choice. It shows tremendous awareness and self love

[@gainfulheart]

@@SusanWinter, thank you so much! I really do learn a lot from you.

[@igatti9923]

@@gainfulheart He had the APD. I felt already lonely with him. He gave me the proof he cared for me because despite his character and his attachment style, he helped me all through the night when I had a break down. I felt burnt out because of what was going on in other sectors of my life. He was willing to take some days of permission from work just to talk to me and help me. But it was just a single episode, the most part of the time he gave me crumbs. I came after his parents and his work. He stated clear that he couldn't change his way to love. So I quit. He was sad but after having given it too many tries, I gave up. He's still living with his folks and because of this I was always his non priority. Love is not enough.

[@gainfulheart]

@@igatti9923, sorry what is APD?

[@catherinerubias-hadcan4390]

Hi Ms Susan, I fell inlove with my best friend, but it cant show to her bcoz she's public servant and i dont want to ruin her profession and credibility. I try to forget her bcoz i know its impossible to have an affair with her, but i cant stop loving her. Can u help me pls to solve this feelings i have. THANK U, i hope u read this, stay safe always and God bless, 🙏

[@SusanWinter]

Love her (and yourself) enough to transmute the form of love. You've made it romantic. If you really love her, love her as a person. Give up the idea of romance with this unattainable friend. OPen your eyes to those who can accept your love.

[@catherinerubias-hadcan4390]

@@SusanWinter thank u for the response ms susan.

[@duchessofessex2550]

Susan I love the Curls

[@chriswalls5831]

If im the friendzone that works for me what is meant for will be if not so be it

[@SuperQdaddy]

Why be stuck...be free hello its me..

[@joebyrd342]

If she is telling me Personal things is that a sing she likes me or no??

[@idushathamel]

He said I'm his best frnd but told it might change🙄

[@SusanWinter]

So... you're expected to wait? And stay in a holding pattern?

[@idushathamel]

@@SusanWinter the thing is he knows that whatever he does I will be there for him and also these days I'm facing my exams so he wants me to focus on it

[@sarahhey8654]

Sounds like a "benching" game that he's playing...

[@mariamiliotis]

@susanwinter , Years ago I started a hot, torrid sexual relationship with a man that never consummated into a friendship or committed relationship. Now, we are living in different cities and social distancing but have become platonic friends. I can’t understand how we have attraction to each other but yet can’t put the two together (friends and sex) into a commitment. Make sense? It’s either one or the other. How do I chance that?

[@SusanWinter]

Maria, he only does what he does best (one or the other).Very odd.

[@mariamiliotis]

@@SusanWinter I’m not a psychologist but I believe he has intimacy issues and attachment disorder xoxoxo

[@henrygrove100]

i think you may be psychic. has anyone told you that before? -Paul

[@LightSpeaker2k]

Lover in waiting. haahha. the horrible dates. I see!!!