How a mortician deals with the most taboo trauma

[@valkyrie1066]

A family member of ours was in a terrible auto accident. There were several parts at the scene, and sadly some were undiscovered or unusable. She was a gorgeous young woman. We were unsure whether there would be a viewing or not. We were startled by how good she looked. A slightly less grieving member asked how the magic had been pulled off. Parts of her clothing had been stuffed with newspaper, but both hands and feet were located, and showing. They did NOT have a lot to work with and pulled it off, at the last minute, an open casket viewing. Miraculously. It was very very appreciated. ❤❤

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you for sharing 🙏 ❤️❤️

[@shanewinters3121]

Sorry to hear that, at least you got to see her. Sounds strange coming from someone who has been in a few very serious car accidents 2 as a passenger in my teens and 1 as the driver at 34 where a jeep rolled several times on the interstate after hitting and flipping up on, then off the guardrail. One where the car went airborne and hit a tree, not sure why but there always seemed to be slight changes in life afterwards. Very strange, we should have all been memories for sure. Was she a passenger or driver? Someone hit her?

[@jenniferdaulby5519]

I was a mortuary assistant for 10yrs & helped with a lot of autopsies - I was always teased because I liked to wash the bodies with warm water & talked to our patients too. I went on to become an RN & am due to retire next year. Thanks for your interesting videos ladies, new sub here. Best wishes from South Australia 🇦🇺 👏 ❤

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Jennifer, you sound like such a beautiful caring person - you are Tracy would get on so well. 🪷Thanks for your lovely comment.

[@mindyhuntbeach8026]

I thought about going to mortician school. I'm sure your compassion did not go unnoticed!

[@blazefairchild465]

Thank you for caring for those who’s loved ones , have trusted to you to prepare their earthly remains for burial.

[@SmilingNautilus-eq1tl]

Having to be a lover of wild Game Deer racoons fish and to have to prep for cooking and eating this ain't to bad. I no it's a different between humans and animals but this does sorta give me personally closure on the funeral industry. U guys are GREAT 😃

[@LindaCantrell-s7k]

Bless you

[@johnjay9404]

I can't imagine having to work on a child/toddler that died with a shock or terrified expression on their face. It would haunt me forever.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, somedays can be really tough but we have a great support network available at work. Thank you for your comments take care 💚

[@lisawright63]

I could listen to these two all day. It’s not morbid, it’s not an unnatural discussion, it’s fact

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Awww thanks Lisa, your support means heaps to us both 🌻

[@mindyhuntbeach8026]

It's fascinating to me as well!

[@RedRoseTat]

My best friend hung himself. His eyes and mouth were sewn shut when i went to view his body, but i remember appreciating the fact that even though he had very thin lips, he still looked beautiful as they'd clearly opened his lips to do the stitch halfway inside, so that they weren't as visible. He still looked like him. Bless you and the work you do. It can make the difference between closure and further pain, that can last a lifetime.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

We are so sorry to hear such sad news of you best friend 😔 Glad you got to say your last goodbye, sending you love & hugs ❤️❤️

[@truthisreal.]

My older brother didn’t lose any limbs but he was killed in a car crash. The dashboard came in so far it crushed his chest. I just remember his chest sounding so crinkly under his clothes. God bless you ladies and those who do the work that you do. Every time I’ve lost a loved one in a tragic way, it’s always been comforting to know they were taken care of in death.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

We are so very sorry to hear you lost your brother in such a tragic way 😞 sending you our deepest condolences 🌹🌹 Take good care ❤️❤️

[@coffee4dayz19k4]

I know a lot of people find these topics morbid and horrific. I actually find it fascinating. The art of reconstruction and making a broken body look suitable for viewing is an amazing process, and I admire the skill and dedication of morticians, embalmers and funeral directors to enable family to have closure and sacred memories of their loved ones. It makes me feel less anxious about my mortality also. In the end, we are all merely a vessel which carries our soul.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks for your comment. We agree totally. That's how our channel came to be 🙂

[@bobs1356]

Yes I find it amazing to when a body has been damaged so badly to make it look decent for showings .

[@debbiewatts5377]

Me too. I've learned so much from traci. ❤

[@pattycoe7435]

What you do for the dead is an art. Not everyone can do it. Thank you for your dedication.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you. I feel honoured to be able to help care for families and their loved ones.

[@racheldemain1940]

If a Mortitian, Funeral Director suggested that The Deceased might be too distressing to see, I would take their advice and remember the person as they were, alive and well

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

👍

[@debmorton3310]

When my daughter was murdered the morticians did the best they could but she was strangled and buried face down so there was swelling and lines on her face. She looked like she was in pain. I put my foot down and insisted the casket be closed during the service. The family that wanted to was able to see her but no one else did. She was 19 and was abducted by a paroled sex offender. The state punched his ticket in 2015.

[@danoyse8233]

@@debmorton3310my sister was a victim of DV and my other sister advised me not to see her. I was pregnant at the time. I took her advice. I also didn’t go to her court case, the perpetrator walked, due to a technicality. Multiple autopsies. I think I made the right decision. That was 44 years ago.

[@MissyL12789]

​@debmorton3310 oh my goodness that is so heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss and can't comprehend how much you must be grieving. My thoughts are with you x

[@Unlike230]

​​​@@debmorton3310I'm so sorry. So many things in life are not right and losing your child especially horribly is one of them. I wish you never experienced this. She went on and saved many. Sending ❤

[@shelwilliams1963]

Here in Minnesota about 2 weeks ago a woman head was decapitated by her abusive boyfriend and broad daylight outside her home. Someone actually recorded the man killing her and the video circulated on Facebook. I seen the video by accident it was sent to me. Needless to say I didn't sleep well that night. R.i.p to the beautiful woman who lost her life to a evil scum.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh Shel, that's horrific. Stay safe xx

[@shannonbailey7580]

I love that she can still laugh. Life is so hard, hearing any adult laugh is a wonderful sound to me.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you for your kind words ❤️❤️

[@earnold1896]

My mother would have been one of the ones that died in utter shock. I was 3 days past age 12 when she died suddenly when her aorta burst. I ran to her and her tongue was protruding and her eyes crossed staring at me. I was screaming at her to drink (as if she could). I ran to ring doctors and try and get help. I had nightmares for 16 years. She had just turned 49. I knew nothing about death. I often think of that time. Oldie now. I was healed of the nightmares at 28. Worse still I wasn't allowed to see her or go to the funeral so no closure!

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

That's such a sad story and a trauma that you went through. We are so sorry you had to endure that. 😔 I had a similar experience in not being able to say goodbye properly which landed me in this industry years later. That's why I do what I do. So others, wherever possible, can have their viewing and say goodbye. Big hugs to you, lovely, thanks for sharing 💜

[@daneekaplan4284]

I am so sorry you went through that. How traumatic. Losing a mom at that age is devastating enough but to watch it happen- and happen so fast- is beyond what a 12 yo can handle. I'm really sorry they didn't let you go to the funeral or get you therapy. Adults think they are protecting kids from death but they are doing the exact opposite. I worked at a camp for kids with cancer which runs each summer for 3 weeks- 2 weeks for cancer patients and 1 week for siblings. The sibling week was emotionally so much. Those poor kids had so much baggage from being "protected" when their sliding died. Some of the same things you felt- no closure, no way to say goodbye, confusion, plus guilt for being alive. Many had horrible thoughts about what they imagined happen. Many were shipped off to neighbors or relatives until their sibling had passed away. They hurt so much. Every year we had each cabin make a "boat" (getting it to float was always a challenge) that holds candles and on the Friday night, we'd light the candles and sail the boats on the lake while singing "Kumbaya". It was always a very sad, solemn time. The last night, Saturday we always had a dance and by the end of the evening the kids would often breakdown again, even more so than the night before. I held a lot of broken-hearted kids. those evenings.

[@Cazi1111]

So sorry to hear you went through all that trauma ❤

[@jol4342]

It's such an important (if traumatic) job to put the bodies back together with such care and attention. Thank you, mortuary workers, you do a great service.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, thank you so much for your kind words 🙏💚💚

[@erictaylor5462]

A kid I went to school with liked to play chicken with trains. He'd try to cross the tracks as close as possible and one day he crossed a bit too close. The train hit the back tire of his bike and he was pulled under the train's wheels. He was cut in half just bellow the belly button and he lived just long enough to say to his friend, "Don't tell my mom." He'd been in trouble already for playing chicken with trains, and he lay there separated from his legs and all the other parts that make life fun, and he was worried his mom would be mad at him. This made me extremally scared of trains.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh Eric, we can understand why. That's horrific! 😔

[@debraanderson7086]

My heart goes out to the little boy in you that witnessed your friend's death.

[@TheSaltySunflower]

Oh my goodness that’s absolutely heartbreaking.

[@ChrisR_4812]

You work in a field I call "the unsung heroes." You help families have closure and some peace of mind all with respect to the deceased and the family. Thank you for what you do.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you for your kind words ❤️❤️

[@MrJeffcoley1]

My dad was on a ventilator before he died. We provided the mortician with a collared western shirt and a bolo tie. I don't know if my dad ever wore a bolo tie in his life; he certainly didn't make a habit of it. But the hole from the ventilator was completely concealed. Very grateful.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

We are sorry that you lost your dad. We would have looked quite dapper with a bolo tie on. I've dressed a gentleman like that before. It works for some 💜 thanks for sharing your story x

[@marilynb8136]

I'm a retired nurse and the human anatomy and physiology is fascinating to me. The harsh reality of living and dying should be embraced. Thank you for all the compassionate work you do.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you for your beautiful comment and all the work you did as a nurse - such a caring profession - you are all angels 🥰

[@simmypoo]

A year and a half ago my father jumped off a bridge with a rope around his neck. He was decapitated. I don't know if his head was reattached, he ended up being cremated after a lengthy investigation. Thank you for being respectful, clinical, yet blunt. I love your channel ❤

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oooh my goodness that's so very sad 😢 we are so sorry to hear, sending you our deepest condolences 🌹🌹 It's just heartbreaking, take good care ❤️❤️

[@joylynn4JESUS]

I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. I understand that trauma. I’m sorry that you also do.😞

[@danbear5254]

I know nothing of the science of being mortuary professional, I can only extend my most sincere appreciation for the kindness and care exhibited on family members. Losing family is painful, somehow the sense of peace is a huge consolation and that dedication is appreciated.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks for your kind words xx

[@kathybrant150]

I'd never thought of what you go through Tracey, when you're looking after people who've suffered such horrific injuries as you described here. You're amazing.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks Kathy, someone's got to do it so the family can have their farewell. I feel honoured to be able to do this work.

[@kathybrant150]

@@Areyoudyingtoknow 💖

[@bouffant-girl]

Embalmers and other medical professionals have to be able to detach to a certain extent to avoid emotional burnout and emotional trauma!

[@joannemadden7449]

Ladies I've left a comment on the "Coffin Births" I'm a Retired ED Nurse and married to a Police Officer ( murdered ) and I'm very ( sadly ) familiar with many of the issues you address on your videos, I just wanted to write and tell you both that you are both very compassionate & caring as well as very accurate in your explanations regarding the issues and situations that happen once someone has passed. I believe you've given much comfort in a setting and time of heartbreak. Thank you, please don't stop. God bless❤️🕊️

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh Joanne, thanks for your thoughtful comment.💜 It is good to hear you say that as we cop a bit of flack for our delivery at times.🤷 Thank you for the important work you do and for your husband's part in making the world a safer place for us all. It is devastating that you lost him. We are so sorry that happened.😔💕 Thank you again you are a complete angel 🥰

[@kedeglow2743]

When I was in my 20s my best friend's husband was hit by a semi truck. He'd been on foot (nobody could ever figure out why) in a snowstorm, and he was on the interstate. The accident took the left side of his head off. My friend told me she was having an open casket funeral for him, which shocked me. I was even more shocked when she took me to the funeral home to see him before the visitation--somehow, they had made him presentable, especially for a body that had undergone that kind of trauma. I think you folks must work some kind of magic.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

What a sad story. We reconstruct where we can so families can have closure and say their goodbyes. 💚

[@matulich77]

My daughter wants to be a mortician. I'm going to have her watch your videos. I've witnessed a horrible accident and I saw people removing a body that got tboned on the passenger side. The man driving was on the street and when they moved the passenger I saw the person literally break in half. They had a sheet up but I moved to a spot where I had a clear view. Guts n everything. It was horrible but didn't scar me. I find this part fascinating. Absolutely sad of course. I looked into my dad's ashes and found pieces of bone and was fascinated as well. I'd of probably been good at this job because I'm not scared of it and I care.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, what a terrible sad story 😔 so sorry to hear you witnessed such a tragic accident. It is a very rewarding job and a privilege to take care of total strangers loved ones in there time of need. It is also a hard job physically as well as emotionally but with the right guidance definitely a job to look into for your daughter. Take good care and look after yourself ☺️💚💚

[@rileysteve]

Over 55 yrs. embalming experience. I thought you gave a very honest appraisal of the methods we usually use to put the body back together. And it is very true that no two embalmers are going to tackle these situations the same. Most of us learned from the old-timers and then had to figure-out what methods work for us. I am impressed that you will repair an un-embalmed body. Only those of us with the old-time work ethics would do so. Here in the US, most of the young ones today, would not bother. And, if they did, the family would get a hefty "repair" charge. Obviously, I prefer to do repairs as I embalm the body. I want the tissues dry and firm. I also prefer the body to have been posted. It just makes things easier overall. Let all the parts rest overnight and assemble everything the following day. Anyway, just wanted to let you know it is obvious to those of us in the "business" that you are competent and professional.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Ooh wow thank you so very much for you lovely comments and support that means so much to me coming from someone as experienced as you. You would be great to interview for the channel with your wealth of knowledge 🤗❤️❤️

[@gaggymott9159]

Sadly, in Northern Ireland, we had 8 Covid Deaths today, and as Regulations relax, we are expecting more. Concerning decapitation, my best work mate's brother was decapitated in a Ford Capri (UK long-nosed car) accident, where he drove, head first under an articulated lorry when not paying attention. This was in the 1970s, but Trevor's mother was eternally grateful to be able to see her son, one last time, as a 'complete person'....Morticians/Funeral Directors/ Embalmers are AWESOME. Thank you❤❤❤

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh Gaggy, sending our thoughts to you. Please stay safe, masks and distance. How’s the Vax rate there?

[@morticiaheisenberg9679]

"Every head I have reattached..." "Not everyone can say that"😂😂😂 That was great. So true.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you 💚💚

[@jengallion]

Here's to making those hard conversations less taboo. You two handled that with delicacy and grace.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

🙏💚

[@stitchyreevo9768]

Blimey, just can’t imagine how hard that must be to deal with those poor people who sadly died of trauma. But how it helps the grieving process of the loved ones knowing the deceased is lying in rest put back together.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Stitchy, it’s just got to be done. I’d rather deal with this so the family can have the least possible trauma in a horrific situation. Thanks for your comment and for watching.

[@cliffodell7417]

When I worked transport we had a body that was in a head on collision with a semi. His body was torn to pieces. We recovered the first set of remains from OMI and had to put them into storage until the investigation was complete. I was sent to OMI three months later to retrieve the rest of the body....I inventoried a left leg severed below the knee, a lower jaw bone, and assorted pieces of his skull... I can't even begin to explain the smell. I was relieved for his family he was finally able to be cremated.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Cliff, wow that's so traumatic to witness and I can imagine that smell it is very confronting. In that kind of job you see some difficult cases 😔 Take good care 😊💚

[@mirandahoney]

I was wondering about that kind of scenario. Like, there are just some situations where you go 'I can't fix that!' For instance in the case of death by shotgun to the head. The only option with those, really, would have to be cremation, I think... Or just burying the jigsaw puzzle of remains without a viewing. I know that's morbid but I think it's true.

[@debralynnpaxton5238]

Helping care for the remains of a decedent is a sacred task that must be treated with loving care for the sake of their family, friends, and colleagues ❤ Thank you all for what you do and for discussing the sacred process ❤

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

You are so kind, thank you ❤️❤️

[@patrickmalone1902]

Good to know theres people like that wonderful lady who can do this kind of work and bring some kind of relief to the bereaved.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much Patrick, so kind of you 💚💚

[@SniperLogic]

Father Time is undefeated. Some day he’s gonna get us all. No need to unpack, we’re just passing through.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

So very true xx

[@alexandrasmith7682]

My mother had a closed coffin for two reasons. She had been very obese and her lymph glands had stopped working. The fluids have to go somewhere so they weep out through splits in the skin and pores. It actually isn't unusual for obese. But secondly, she had had a number of mental health issues including diagnosed narcissism. I was there when she died and she truly had the most horrific look on her face - the nurses could do nothing to help. The funeral director told me that she would have given people nightmares so it was better that people remembered her as the beautiful model from her 20's.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

😢 we are sorry for your loss. Each case is very different but when people die with shocking expressions we can usually relax the face and soften the look. We have a video on this. Thanks for sharing

[@Magnetar99]

This was comforting. Facing death doesn’t need to be callous. The empathy here shows.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you ❤️❤️

[@JanHurstonHolland]

Greetings from Alabama, USA! I love that y’all are educating the public about all things related to death! As a former hospice social worker, I know that all things death-related needs to be demystified so that it becomes just a natural part of the life cycle. Thanks for all you two do!

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hello out in Alabama. We totally agree with you. There is no reason people shouldn't know what actually happened instead of imagining the worst and believing some of the ridiculous thing you see in movies and TV. Thank you for your kind words, take good care 💚💚

[@judylee3589]

I found this VERY interesting, not morbid at all. I think a lot of people want to know but are afraid to ask about death issues. You ladies are very kind and thoughtful and I think I'm going to enjoy watching your channel.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Judy, thank you so much for your kind words 🙏 This is one of the reasons we started this channel to help dispel the myths behind the mortuary door talking about death should not be a taboo subject as it's going to happen to us all. So please if you have any questions we will do our best to answer them. Take care 😊💚

[@lennieblake3444]

Sad but facinating. I'm the kind of person who likes to know things. Naturally inquisitive rather than into gore. Thanks for this video.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

You are welcome. Thanks for your lovely comment.

[@wendyhanzel8364]

Finally, someone who’s not afraid to ask anything! Thank you. It’s very interesting.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, thank you for watching 😊 take care 💚💚

[@laurainebelsey2498]

I admire you Tracy, You are very special how you take such care of the deceased, as I'm in uk I'd hope there was someone as kind as you dealing with me when my time comes. Sending lots of love xx 😘

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

🌹🌹💚💚 thank you so much for your kind words and support Lauraine 🙏 I would like to think that most mortician are kind and caring to all the loved one prepared by them 💚💚 take care 😊💚

[@LD-ge6ge]

What a lovely lady Tracy is. She tells it straight but very respectfully. Id love to spend a day working an learning with her. Thank God for people like her 😊❤️

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for your kind words 💚💚

[@woohunter1]

It takes a strong person to do what you do! It’s not for everybody, we are thankful for your passion and skill.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much 🙏💚💚

[@jus10lewissr]

In 2001, I went to the funeral of a girl my age (16 at the time) who had been decapitated and her body had been completely severed in half across the abdomen. It was an open casket funeral and I remember being blown away by how great of a job the mortician had done on her but I never actually learned about the methods used to "piece her back together" for viewing. Until recently, I hadn't thought of that in a very long time but had been extremely curious how they did it, so thank you for the information!

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh wow that's so sad what a traumatic death her poor family. So very sorry to hear 😞 But so very happy to hear the mortician did an amazing caring job that's special. Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️

[@lindahubbard-brinston6741]

Morticians are so gifted in that they take away the ravages of disease, disaster, and long-term suffering. ❤

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you Linda for your kindness 💕

[@Teofane]

Fascinating topic. I have two questions: 1) Double funerals-How do morticians handle the challenges of viewings for more than one family member? 2) Clothing/"Practical garments"- What happens if a deceased person does not have any appropriate clothing for a viewing?

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Teofane, thanks for the questions. We’ll put them on the list for an upcoming vid 😊you’re a champion at keeping us in material! Thanks

[@SierraNovemberKilo]

Someone I knew lost her bf on her 21st bd, he'd driven home to get her gift and was killed in a motorcycle accident. She, on viewing his body broke down because his hair had been combed the wrong way. A shame a photo of him alive at not been provided to the mortician. This would have helped I believe. The poor girl was traumatised enough without having this last image to deal with.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, so sorry to hear such a sad story😞 poor girl, hope she is doing ok 🙏 Yes I try and get a photo most of the time, it helps a lot. Thank you for sharing, take care 💚💚

[@naomimcmullian4442]

I'm so glad you asked what the facial expressions are like, as that's exactly what I was thinking. I'm so interested in all of this, I love your channel. I'm currently in the process of getting myself a job in a funeral directors which I'm hoping to then move onto embalming. Keep the videos coming! ❤️

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Naomi, thanks for your comment. Congrats on your career move. 👍 if you need any info, send us an email and we will help as best we can. We both really appreciate your support. Don’t forget to tell your friends! 😊

[@annyoung6560]

Creepy. We don’t give these people the credit that they deserve. They are truly amazing people.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Awww thank you so much for your kind words 🤗❤️❤️

[@AdrienneMullen-vb4cs]

I was amazed by the artistry of my brothers mortician. I’m so amazed by what you do. It really makes a difference for the family.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️ So sorry for the loss of your brother 😔 sending you our deepest condolences ❤️❤️

[@spenney84]

Hi ladies! Thank you for the warning. It was indeed confronting, but I have often wondered. I lost my brother-in-law to suicide by hanging but he looked peaceful when he was laid to rest. You are both so awesome in answering our questions and educating us. Take care and stay safe! - Sharon

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Sharon, That's really sad. Thanks for sharing your story 😔

[@daneekaplan4284]

it's amazing what a mortician or embalmer can do. My mom died two years ago of cancer. She was so emaciated she was fully unrecognizable. The hospice nurse who came after she died commented "she's so tiny". She never was tiny. She was 5'6" 150 lbs until the very last couple of weeks after a very short fight. She still lived in the tiny town we grew up in mid Michigan so not a place I really except great work of any kind. The mortician is a classmate of mine so I trusted him to do his best but,,,. We told him we figured she'd have to be closed casket to the public and he said "let me do my thing and you can decide". My sister and I were both shocked at how good she looked. She definitely didn't look like the tiny little body wasted by the ravages of cancer and chemo side effects.

[@bushratbeachbum]

Thank you both for doing what you do, the way you do it. I've lost a lot of people in my relatively short life and it's comforting to know people care for the dead the way you describe it. The discussion was fascinating and light-hearted enough to watch but equally respectful enough to make it educational rather than a dramatisation. You're both beautiful people. Thank you. X

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh gosh what a beautiful comment. Thanks for letting us know we are on the right track. 🙏😍 We are so sorry you have experienced so much loss 🌷

[@murphyville]

My cousin was murdered by decapitation. It is gruesome to think how someone could do something like that!

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

So sad. 😔💙

[@Tuberuser187]

It's so nice to hear how you try to do the best for the families, to help them get some degree of closure, especially considering how the events that caused the trauma have already caused a lot of distress. Thank you for doing the things many other people cannot, you and other morticians are gems.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏💚💚

[@Honeydear1971]

it takes a very special person to take this on and give families the peace and closure they need after a loss. Not everyone could have this conversation and explain these things much less do them, Thank you for helping those heal who are left behind after tragic loss.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏🥰❤️❤️

[@bonniehortman8203]

My mother died in a tough accident with lots of facial cuts and bruises. We did not think she would be able to be seen at visitation. However, the mortician did an outstanding job. Thanks to you and all caring morticians. You do a great job and this video helped me learn about trauma with a deceased.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

So sorry for the traumatic way your mother died, sending you much love & hugs xxxx

[@karenjohnson3495]

I love how honest you are on the subjects. It is so nice to learn.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Karen, thank you for your kind words 💚💚

[@lucywilkinson6045]

Tracey we love you for who you are, your aloud to talk and express, i love that you trish ask the questions, they do need to be asked, their not inapropriate, your both fab, you give great content but in a respectful way, this was a pretty hard topic but you ladies covered it perfectly aa always :) Thankyou both 🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💯

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Aww thanks Lucy! We aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but then, who is!? Thanks for taking time out to write such a beautiful and detailed comment. We are definitely feeling the love 💚💚💚

[@dsbassoon]

The two of you are definitely my cup of tea. The others, …….they just prefer vinegar.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi dsbassoon, 😍😍 Thank you 💚💚 Take care 🤗

[@spiritualspinster4222]

I had a friend who was decapitated in a car accident many years ago. You answered a question I was always too afraid to ask.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

So very sorry to hear 😞 sending you our best, take care ❤️❤️

[@thejaxter6384]

When my father died, I was 17, my mum went to see him first and advised me not to go. I don't regret not seeing him, I trusted my mum's judgement. My mum died when I was 26. I did go to see her and she looked beautiful. The mortician had washed and curled her hair and applied her face powder her favourite lipstick. The shade was Pink String and I think it was Yardley. Her hands were laying across her upper abdomen and she had been dressed in the satin and lace garment provided by the funeral director. The only thing I couldn't do was touch her. Even though the mortician said I could,I didn't want to feel how cold she was. I don't regret that decision but even now, 45 years later, it makes me cry.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

We never forget our parents and especially that last image, glad she looked beautiful and the funeral home took good care of her ❤️❤️

[@Misskimalee-b5p]

I am so grateful there are people like you who do this work.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you 🙏🤗💚

[@heatherking4204]

This is so intriguing. Haven’t came across this yet in the mortuary. Beautiful work Tracy

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Heather, thanks for watching! It’s amazing what a variety of injuries and illnesses can cause people to end up on your table. I am still seeing some unusual things for the first time almost 8 years in!

[@heatherking4204]

I’m sure I will be sharing some stories with you when I see it ❤️

[@amandacoffey6170]

I want to be come a mortician so bad, I just don’t know where to even start. Especially money wise. Thank you for being such an inspiration to me && many others. When my father died abruptly of a heart attack, the funeral director && mortician helped my sister && I thru it. We were young && so scared && so full of grief. But they walked us thru every step && in the end, seeing my dad “sleeping” so peacefully really helped the process. That is the exact reason I want to become a mortician. I want to help people with one of the hardest parts of life, death.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

So very sorry to hear you have lost your father 😞 sending you our deepest condolences 🌹🌹 Take good care 💚💚

[@bcaye]

My BF college was a nursing student, while I was in the respiratory therapist program. He was pretty handsome and I pursued him assertively. He was on the GI bill, so he lived at his parents home and our first date was pretty much MTV and chill. The next morning he had an invitation with to the local university morgue to view postmortems. He was hesitant about asking me, but I was HELL YEAH. And the pathologist said I was one of the few observers that never turned green or gagged. Great way to learn about anatomy.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Wow it is a great way to learn 👍 thank you for sharing your story 😊💚💚

[@hyltonla]

Such an invaluable service for the family left behind. It helps so much to see your loved one looking similar to what they looked like when alive. Thank you for what you do.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you for your kind words 🙏❤️❤️

[@The_momur]

Thank you for the work you do. After 6 cruel years of living with ALZ my mom finally looked like herself again.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Take good care, sending you our very best ❤️❤️

[@adcatman]

You do an absolutely invaluable job that not everyone of us could so I take my hat off to you and I have the deepest respect for your work. Thank You for sharing your experience in such a way the rest of us can appreciate....

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏💚💚

[@joryan237]

Thank you ladies for your candid stories and answers to some fairly graphic questions. I came across this Chanel by accident and I’m hooked! Love your positive and respectful outlooks, very fresh and enlightening. Best wishes from down here in Oz

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh, thanks for your lovely comment. We are so glad you joined us! Hello from sunny Brisbane 🌞

[@boogoodie]

It's interesting to hear how a mortiction does these things . I couldn't do that job, but I'm grateful that there are those that can, for all the loved ones of the deceased. I do wonder what they do if a body is totally destroyed? I would imagine they would just have to tell the family that they just can't have an open coffin. What an awkward and a hard thing it would be to have to tell the loved ones.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks for your comment, we have videos on this. Extreme trauma and when a body can't be viewed. It happens unfortunately, but there is always some kindness that can be done to help the family get closure. 🌻💜

[@coryballard4449]

Hi there!! I'm from Garland Utah and really enjoy watching and listening to you two. Thanks for filling us in.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks for watching! All the way out in Garland Utah 🤗❤️❤️

[@elizabethmckessick154]

This is honestly something I wanted to do 15 years ago. But after losing my baby, at birth, I realised I couldn't do it x

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh, that's a terrible thing to go through, we are very sorry for the loss of your baby 💕

[@daneekaplan4284]

Hugs to you and your baby.

[@petercarmeci8317]

You ladies are angels. You are the unsung heroes. You seem like you treat every job with dignity. I just subscribed.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Peter, thank you so much for your kind words 🙏💚💚

[@amysassard1068]

I appreciate your channel and the knowledge and honesty you provide.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you Amy for your kind words 🙏💚💚

[@gordanpulver9901]

it's nice to see someone tell these things to the public....it's a part of life few can do but it is nice to see they go above and beyond

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much 🙏❤️❤️

[@rachelread1346]

Im one of those people who listens too the warnings ONLY it makes me want to watch it more😊

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

😂 we are like that too 😉🥰❤️❤️

[@maureengoode6150]

Thank God for people like you. We need more.👍

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Awww thank you so much 🥰❤️

[@annec781]

I worked in a coroner’s office and we frequently had funeral workers call to ask if a person was “viewable,” usually at the time funerals were being planned, not in the presence of the family, of course.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Yes we do the same ❤️❤️

[@mindyhuntbeach8026]

Not bad girls! You explain it sensitively and very well! I talked to a mortician in the past and he shared a story where they could not find the person's head. That would be a tough one!

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you. Yes I have had cases like that before terrible sad 😢 💚

[@rnupnorthbrrrsm6123]

Thank you for having compassion for the deceased and the family !

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, thank you for your kind words 🤗❤️❤️

[@Craterface666]

A local person my wife knew blew themselves in half with fireworks accidentally, no bottom half left. They were aware on the way to the hospital begging not to die. They had an open casket since he was blown in half, though I don't know what of the bottom was left. If your curious, he was making a sparkler bomb. You take a bunch of sparklers with one already much further out and duct tape them together and light it and run. I saw my brother blow apart a metal outdoor grill with one, they are very dangerous. This guy forgot to leave one out that he could light. Instead of pulling the tape off and taking one out and retaping, he pulled on one to get it out and the friction set off all the sparklers and blew him in half.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Oh dear, that's horrific. Very dangerous 😢

[@margueritemazzeo2904]

😮🙄🤢🤮

[@cvent8454]

You ladies are awesome. Thank you for the respect you show the deceased and the compassion extended to families. God bless you. 🙏🙏🙏

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for all your support and kind words too 🙏❤️❤️

[@investigator77]

I don't find these things morbid at all. It's a part of life and death, and I believe that knowledge if power. We fear the unknown, so if we educate ourselves about these things, they don't seem as scary. When our loved ones die, we put so much trust into the mortician, the makeup and hair artistry, etc., to make them look as beautiful or handsome as they were in real life. Love to you ladies, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada!

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for your comments 🙏 take good care out in beautiful Toronto Canada 😚💚

[@ljtlove4519]

I didn't think it was taboo or morbid. It's what it takes to make the body look peaceful for the family. Sometimes a fact of life. I would think the hardest ones are the ones where the face is damaged beyond repair and have to make do with what you can.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, thank you for your comments. Yes some cases are very challenging but will always try my best for the right outcome for the families. Take care 💚💚

[@vanessatibbles7148]

Thank you for that. It was very educational, I never thought about facial expressions. I love watching your videos. Keep up the good work by educating the everyday person like me.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks for watching, Vanessa. Our aim is to normalise the death process as much as possible for people. It won't take away grief but it might take some.of the fear away. Stay safe x

[@katymitchell8200]

I was an ER nurse for 8 years. The worst case seen was a 13 year old with half his face missing, like a cookie cutter removed it. I don't know how you could've fixed that except put a mask on it like Phantom of The Opera. Wasn't good for the family, but it was fascinating to me. It was a freaking carnival in the ER til the body left.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

That's so sad. Sounds pretty horrific. Gotta say, thanks for the great work as a nurse. The world needs more people like you xx

[@albert.anthony]

🧐 Thanks for explaining some of the science behind it. How does your profession get used to the smell of decomposition, but also of embalming fluid? Also what qualifications differ between a mortician & those who do autopsies?

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, the smells are masked a bit by all the protective gear and masks you need to wear and we use a filter mask for badly decomposed bodies this dulls the smell further. We also have a ventilation system that draws out strong smells and bring in clean air. You don't really get used to the smell you learn to manage it, I still sometimes have to walk out the mortuary when the smell makes me gag, take 5 minutes out, then compose myself and go back in. The difference between a Mortician in a funeral home to a pathologist that performs the autopsies is, a pathologist is a doctor with up to 10-15 years of study to become a pathologist and to be a forensic pathologist you need to add any 5 years of study on to that. Mortician tend not to have a medical degree. Thank you for question take care ❤️❤️

[@kit5730]

Thank you for addressing such a tough topic.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Kit5, and thank you for your comment. Stay safe and take care 😊💚

[@doriwei5118]

Y'all don't talk too much lol the banter is funny ! I can't imagine working with children or decomp...I admire what you do for the families🦋

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Dori, thank you so much 🙏 it can be very difficult some days 😔 Take care 😊💚

[@sunflowers730]

I'm being cremated when I die so they can just shove all the parts in the furnace if I'm torn apart. No need to reconstruct. I don't want a viewing.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, yes absolutely nothing wrong with that. I get a lot of requests for no preparation to the body at all and straight to cremation, will always honour that too. Thank you for your comments take care 💚

[@brandlynnyoung3123]

I always wanted to be a funeral director/embalmer. I love listening to these 2.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks for joining us 🥰

[@rondolinar]

Get into a school. Where do you live ? There are tons of them in the U.S. It's a little more difficult in the U.K. My understanding is there is only one school there.

[@angelrabbit13]

Thank you both for the asking, the answering and the sharing.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

You are so very welcome 💜

[@Shazzadut1]

Thanks for the videos. I’m at a loss to understand how if a loved one is decapitated and has to have their head reattached, and has an awful look on their face, why the heck would you want to have a viewing at all? Just have a closed coffin and remember them when they were alive… I don’t think viewing them whole would erase the thoughts of what happened. Just my opinion.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi, thank you for your comments. We aim to care for the deceased to give the face a peaceful look after all the preparations has been completed. I totally understand where you're coming from and say best remember the way they were. But sadly when it's a sudden unexpected death it is extremely hard for family to do this. I know this personal unfortunately 😔 this is why I specialise in reconstruction because I know the pain you have to live with forever, never getting that last goodbye. Thank you and take good care 💚💚

[@jasonlaureno8422]

This is the first episode I've seen, but I'm now a subscriber. Wholly enjoyed the info. I'm a removal tech / cremationist here in the states. Although I don't have the responsibility of preparing people for viewings or making them whole after incurring some of the catastrophic damage you've described, I certainly see my share of it in dealing with the Medical Examiner's office and such (gunshot suicides and persons who weren't discovered for some time among them). Looking forward to viewing more of your episodes! Keep up the good work, ladies!

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Jason, welcome to the channel ☺️ Wow what an amazing job you have too. Gosh you must have seen so much too in your line of work. Thank you for what you do 🙏 take good care 💚💚

[@Foxybiker72]

Thank you ladies for covering this difficult subject it's not easy yet again Thank you

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you as always for your kind words and support ☺️💚💚

[@kelvinzaiontz5368]

I choose cremation because as strange as it sounds and I know I will be gone and not feel it I am scared of the trocar, I hear it's quite invasive. Stay safe ladies much love from Texas.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Kelvin, you're not alone there, many people feel the same way. The trocar is invasive and violent but necessary in some circumstances. Just make sure your family knows your wishes 🙂thanks for watching.

[@elultimo102]

During a conversation with a mortician, we broached the subject of military deaths. Since so many are particularly gruesome, the young guys assigned to mortuary work don't last very long at the job.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you for sharing. Yes we see some things most people would never see in their life time and neither would you want to. You need a good support network around working in theses area's. Take good care 💚💚

[@mikesells4726]

Very interesting. Thanks for telling it like it is. Y’all are great!!❤️

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks for watching Mike, and taking the time to comment. 🙂

[@stevew3196]

Hi ladies Tracy I'm so glad the expressive hands stayed relatively still as you outlined the reattachment process. Another emotive topic handled with sensitivity which is your trademark. It's not really a taboo subject because the message you pass on is. No matter how your loved one dies we will do everything possible to ensure family and friends get the chance to view the deceased who will look as natural and peaceful as we can make them. You deal with the trauma so they don't have to witness the effects. BLESS YOU😉

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks Steve, I guess you are right. Yes, the hands 🤣🤣I’m noticing it more now but as much as I try to stop, my hands just have a mind of their own to tell the story!

[@Romans1.24-27]

it's life...a shame that society deems this taboo

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Totally agree 👍💚💚

[@mandabailey3507]

That must be traumatic to deal with. What an amazing job you are able to do for these families. This video was very interesting (and dignified) with how it's all done . Much respect to you. I have a question. I often wonder about the emotional aspect it must have on those in this industry.? (I know it's a chosen place to work) . But as someone dealing with these situations do you ever need to get some sort of counselling? The work you do is fascinating to learn about. Thankyou as ever .

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Hi Amanda, great question. Yes it can be very difficult somedays. I have a caring network around me. My husband is a big help when I come home and I need to scream and cry out loud. Also Trish is really good and knows the signs to help. I have my sister's too as good sounding boards to bounce off. And my employer is the best, he is always looking out for me and checks in on me constantly. Work does provide counseling if needed. And I run it clears my mind, exercise is one of the best therapies I think, or and don't tell anyone maybe a glass of wine on a weekend 😜 take care 😘💚

[@valeriegood8427]

I know somebody has to do it but wow - you are so amazing to be able to do what you do.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thank you so much for your very kind words ❤️❤️

[@ediemcphillips9334]

I see nothing wrong with these discussions. They are quite interesting.

[@Areyoudyingtoknow]

Thanks Edie, we agree, death care has been kept secret and behind closed doors for too long. Death is a fact of life. 🌻We are just trying to inform and start some important conversations. 💜Thank you for your comment xx