How to get someone on board with MINIMALISM | 15 TIPS

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Which is your favorite tip? Any other advice you can offer to those who struggle with this?

[@carmenlheureux5435]

I think it's harder for the younger children who somerimes don't completely understand all the benefits. Play games, Give them time and Lead by example are probably the best tips here.

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Yes, very true. ❤️

[@kathleenmcgovern9659]

I was just thinking , I myself am on the journey to declutter my house. It's been a year and a half, and my house feels so much better. I think I'm about halfway into the second( or third, I'm not sure) pass, and I'm diving deeper and deeper. Your family may not be on board with it at first, but the decreased stress of less clutter is palpable. Some people are so attached to their things and can't easily let go, but being an example to them might help them come around, even just a little bit. Encouraging them with kindness and caring will always be more successful than nagging and griping. Just give most people space, and they'll come around. ❤

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Absolutely! Very true in all regards! Just getting the clutter levels that you can control down to a level that feels comfortable helps so much! ❤️

[@amychen2504]

That color looks so good on you!

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Awe, thank you! ❤️

[@susiemejia7917]

Perfect video for me. My person isn’t interested at all. My patience gets tested all the time. I’m beginning to be able to focus on my stuff. I do the decluttering when they’re no around. It’s clearly a process. I’m determined to downsize inventory. Lead by example may work in our case. If not,guess I’ll need to work in acceptance.

[@ArrowHillCottage]

It’s all you can do. Just keep focusing on what you can control and your own mental health! ❤️

[@bonnytiley3998]

Very helpful! Thank you! After years of practicing decluttering and working my way to minimal ish, my husband actually decluttered a large box of old clothes! May not seem like much to some but it was amazing to me!

[@ArrowHillCottage]

That’s a win for sure!!! Exciting times ahead! ❤️

[@bb_lz9790]

Thanks for pointing me to this video! Unfortunately, the tips that will work are the ones with me worrying about my own stuff. As I mentioned in a comment to another video, what was once "ours" becomes "theirs" when I propose getting rid of it. Can be anything from cookware that we haven't used in years to comforters that we haven't used in years to just about anything that we haven't used in years. On the bright side, not much new stuff is coming in. The stuff that's here has been accumulating for 30+ years. I still have too much stuff, but have pared it down a lot. I'll keep going. While watching, I remembered something an Acupuncturist told me. He's Chinese and we've had a lot of very interesting conversations over the years. One of his theories is that "Cat is Boss". In the family, Cat is boss, followed by Mom, followed by Children, followed by Dog, followed by Dad. We don't have pets, so Mom is boss, followed by kids and I'm at the bottom. Despite children being grown and one has a family of their own, we still have a lot of their stuff here. I'll keep trying to get them to see the light. If they refuse, I'll take care/already have taken care of my stuff and if I'm the first one to go, which is likely, they'll have to deal with what they put off. 😡

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Awe man, that’s tough! Sorry to hear that you seem to not have a voice in your own home. Proud of you for doing what you can! Try to keep your chin up and keep moving forward as able - hopefully in time they will come around ❤️

[@daniellecarney1487]

Thank you for addressing this very difficult topic. My husband thinks the whole thing is a joke and the minimalism movement is preparing us for communism! The “ You’ll own nothing and be happy” concept. He lumps veganism and the new trend of eating bugs into the same neat little category of minimalism. It’s so hard to have the person you are closest with be so opposed to your dream!! I’ve been on my minimalism journey for about three years or so, and it makes me so incredibly happy. I will say that he is not as opposed to giving things away as he used to be for instance, he bought some new shirts and then got rid of two bags of clothes, of course, to get him to this point was an accomplishment. My daughter has been a mini hoarder since she was tiny and I recount the exasperation of cleaning her room every six months or so we’re like things were never together and every organizational tool I would get her would just be filled to the brim with unlike things hoarded up. at times, it would bring me to tears. She’s moving out soon and I’ve told her that she can’t leave anything in the attic or hoard it up in the room so it’s all gonna go with her. Don’t want to see my daughter go, but I’m very happy to get rid of all her things.!!😂

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Oh wow! He REALLY dislikes it! Ha ha! Well, I guess it’s a good sign that he will declutter a few things here and there and will put up with your pre-communistic antics! Lol. As far as your daughter goes, I get it. She honestly will probably get a giant wake up call when she sets out to move all of her things! ❤️

[@daniellecarney1487]

@@ArrowHillCottage Yes, he’s willing to do something, which is better than nothing. And our daughter will probably learn a lot in her new place- I hope- or she’ll wind up on the Hoarders show! 😂 Thank you for your support !! ♥️

[@amandazplace5663]

Wow! You just described my life as a minimalist...right down to the extreme comments from husband, "minimalists all have mental illness, usually an anxiety disorder or O.C.D." My daughter is moving out soon. I've told her it's ALL going with her. We are currently renovating the entire house. Luckily, my husband sees some sense in getting rid of old furniture. As far as his boxes & boxes of paperwork🙄, I'm just staying quiet and forcing him to move it all around as we renovate. It sounds cold, but often wives are enablers to the clutter. We spend all our time organizing and cleaning others' stuff. I think he has to feel the pain of dealing with the junk or he'll never change his mind. At times I will say, "well, you can deal with it now or when you're 70. Which would you prefer?" 🤔♥️🇨🇦

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Very good thoughts! And I agree…telling the reality that someone, at some time, will have to deal with all the stuff…it’s a good perspective to have. ❤️

[@janetstraw191]

So much really good advice! Thank you! 🙋‍♀️🥰👏👏👏‼️

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Thanks for watching! ❤️

[@cathyjackson8021]

Loved the video!

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Thanks so much. ❤️

[@paulamcleod1227]

Just found you! Hubs and I are looking to downsize to a condo in retirement from a huge 4 bedroom, 4 bath house. We have about a year, and I'm ready to start getting rid of things. Great tips! Love tip #4 to lead by example. I'm looking forward to hubs getting on board when he's ready. Gift free will not work for my extended family. We tried last Christmas to just exchange consumable gifts, foods, mostly. Many were not on board!

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Awesome goal! It will definitely help when you are in the same page - but there is so much you can do to lead example in the mean time! ❤️

[@amonralice2]

Hey, Angela. Thinking about Swedish Death. 😉 Though, very difficult with my hoarder mom type 3, as a minimalist for 5 years now. My advice: take your time. And The Minimalists. ❤️

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Yes, that sounds very difficult for sure! Do what you can- and I agree…though progress may be slow and take a lot of time, the effort is still worth it! ❤️

[@amonralice2]

@@ArrowHillCottage Thanks, Angela. Yeah, it's slow, indeed, but I'm always there to help her. She has her own journey, as we all do. 👍🏻

[@kennethbailey9853]

😊😊😊 I Wish !😢

[@goodenoughgirl8102]

I would say that it’s like anything else. Staying in the middle of the road is always better than getting stuck in a ditch on either side of the road. Same as all things I guess. Everything in moderation. So while you don’t need to be like a demanding bulldozer, you also don’t have to be a marginalized doormat getting backed into a tiny little corner like some unfortunate refugee. So what do you do? I think that’s def where things like negotiating, assertive communication and boundaries come in. Or as the saying goes. Live and let live. Let them do enough of their own thing but you also should get to do enough of your own thing too. I mean esp if they are adults lol. You can also decide to not “caretake” their excessive stuff. Just more or less ok. You do you but you clean up after you also. You manage your things and don’t let them pile all of it up in your own “defined zone.” But even with kids eh? They can learn the very important life lesson of taking responsibility for their own things or choices etc. (Aka learning that other people don’t just come in and “fix it” or “clean up” their messes or solve all of their problems for them). I know for me, I needed to learn that lesson (on the flip side) as much as they did. Lol. And for shared spaces you could come to a compromised consensus about the rules for the space that everyone abides by. Having the kind of renters I do lol. I had the one girl over here on my side and it got so bad I had to just say time out. You need to go live on the other side and I no longer share my kitchen. I was a thousand times happier once I did that. Of course you can’t really do this with fam but I think you can still carve out some things on “your turf” or put your foot down on the select few things that really bother you the most. If I don’t share the space all the time then I just put blinders on and instead of getting irked I just say “not my problem.” And if their mess starts to encroach on my turf…I just give the items a toss back over the net onto their turf. And if it breaks the “shared space” terms, correct that also. But idk. I’m glad to be single really. That way I can have things be like I want (of course animals don’t always get it lol but I still find myself happier if I just get alone and firmly decide what I’m going to get willing to live with and what I cannot live with). Again tho. You really can only control you so all of it should just be like making an appointment with yourself and figuring out what you need, want, can compromise on, can’t deal with etc. Later is when you communicate to others what bothers you or what you can’t deal with anymore. And if they’re not toxic, tell them why and how it affects you. Toxic people are a different story tho. Same as this however. You can’t control them. But you would have to be more firm about drawing any lines in the sand with the biggest things you can no longer stomach. My favorite tip. Personal boundaries. A quote I found years ago that I held onto: “Boundaries: The distance at which I can love both you and me at the same time.” I think the key word here is distance. Where is my personal defined space eh? Even in a group you want to be in such as family, everyone is still a separate and distinct individual human being. Each person needing a certain amount of personal space in order to be able to have room to breathe and grow and be true to who they are. And of course it goes both ways. We all need the same sort of respect (by virtue of our own human dignity). Both to give it and receive it. I really did stop trying to win anyone over tho. Lol. Of course I often declare how happy I am with it and how much it has helped me but others will do whatever they want anyways. But if you do want to lead or influence anyone, the best way is to simply lead by example Imo. The fruits of your good labor will be evident soon enough to anyone who has enough insight to see how well it all has served you. And that’s when you maybe can start talking more about it and have a more receptive ear.

[@ArrowHillCottage]

Very good points, as always. 😀 moderation is definitely key. Not a bulldozer or a doormat! And I really like the quote you have regarding boundaries! All makes perfect sense! ❤️

[@goodenoughgirl8102]

@@ArrowHillCottage Aw thanks! I stole the quote of course, but you know. It was a meme. Everybody steals memes…I think anyways. Lol. 🤣🤣

[@kennethbailey9853]

Good Luck with that !

[@jennyjenkins877]

My partner would never declutter on his own but he has ADHD and loves body doubling so he has happily decluttered his closet and mancave when I'm there with him to help.

[@ArrowHillCottage]

That’s awesome! A team effort! ❤️

[@yelenayeli9529]

Downsizen and see if an early retirement is possible. To sell our home and move to a smaller house in a less expensive area in The Netherlands.

[@ArrowHillCottage]

What a wonderful goal to have! ❤️

[@Shiryone]

My husband appreciates and sees the benefits of decluttering, but he does not like the process. We've had some heated discussions.

[@ArrowHillCottage]

At least with some agreement about the benefits, the two of you can work toward a common goal and it will be easier to see that light at the end of the tunnel! ❤️

[@kennethbailey9853]

This has bee my Cross to Carry Many Years. No, Honestly !😮😢

[@ArrowHillCottage]

I can imagine it is very difficult! ❤️