as the Boobies do 😳 | r/MenWritingWomen

[@OneTopic2]

can *you* write *like a MAN* writing a woman? submit your homework here 😂

[@eyalm867]

her big *personalities* alerted everyone of her presence long before she arrived.

[@eyalm867]

also, hi ot! how are you today?

[@Djinn_Entonic]

Her meat Garden was totally unexploded and wild as the amazon. It would need a triming, but I will open it and conquer her passing through the cervix right to the roof of her uterus with my mighty sable that made every forest be a rainforest.

[@Material_Gurl]

Her watermelons make me happy and I don’t care about her personalities 😩💅💅💅 (No offense just some men are like that)

[@HoradeFidges]

No, but thank you for asking

[@thelittlestpika]

Fun fact: Cleopatra was actually considered to be quite unattractive but historians couldn't handle the fact that an "ugly" woman was in power and good at it.

[@candicraveingcloude2822]

Bro that's cool Edit: the first part not the second

[@zyerkos]

not historians! the romans who were at war with the egyptians at the time! basically our most known interpretation of cleopatra is from a smear campaign hundreds of years ago :(

[@avoup4]

oohh that was interesting

[@malycia883]

That's all because of damn pop culture. I don't think a real historian would ever say that

[@zanelaufey]

I thought that she was just considered average and it was the fact that she was very intelligent that made her attractive to the men she ended up with?

[@Eirazyth]

His eyes were rolling when he heard logic from a woman, his hyper-animated nose was crinkling and making the sounds of pop rocks. His arrogance had only led him to his ears worm dancing on his face.

[@OneTopic]

The sounds of pop rocks!! Hahah

[@lillie3029]

@@OneTopic hey ot just have to thank you for helping me realize i was trans! Love you! -now, Lillie

[@madelynsadelyn]

@@lillie3029 Same!

[@Ben-li9zb]

@@lillie3029 eyyyy congrats! I hope it goes well for you!

[@squish154]

@@lillie3029 I don't really know how I figured out I was trans, I just know I regret coming out because it's not going that great with my parents.

[@Insertia_Nameia]

I love how men think we can move our boobs consciously. Like we can move them like arms. I died at the one in the book where it said that we can physically make our boobs roll when we roll our eyes. Like "I'm not happy...GIRLS! Do a barrel roll!"

[@electronics-girl]

That would be so awesome if I could wave hello with a boob, or clap them together to applaud. It would present some wardrobe challenges, though.

[@chaoticdusk1316]

The barrel roll comment made me cackle, seriously though like guys if we could control our boobs like that the when would we either have to or feel the need to wear any kind of bra? Like we'd just tell those bitches to stay in place which would honestly be real freakin useful.

[@aazhie]

If someone was really athletic or a bodybuilder might be able to do the pec dancing thing, but that would require so much effort xD

[@chromaticaberration1]

I can't do a barrel roll, but I can give a concussion by leaping forward unexpectedly. And did, too.

[@paulcoy9060]

According to MatPat, it's more likely an airelon roll.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

We studied biology in school but I don’t remember ‘Jazz Café’ being part of the Female Reproductive System. I’m going to have a stern talk with my teachers.

[@RaisonLychi]

Perhaps she was a queef musician?

[@KyleRayner12]

It's sad how neglected accurate sex ed is in our nation's schools. Please tell me they at least told you about the egg tambourines.

[@sidrat2009]

echoey, damp and good atmosphere would visit again.

[@loverbxy]

@@KyleRayner12 ah, yes and the obscene jinkling of the nickel dispensers

[@blinobyknovennyy]

@@KyleRayner12 hey, at least you had sex ed at school. Where I live it doesn't exist...

[@normalhuman9878]

He maled masculinely into the room. His very masculine presence filled the room. His tight shirt perfectly outlined his muscular muscles and seemed to be restricting his blood flow

[@stellataylor7436]

This is gold

[@Zethyzingerrooo]

You joke but if you read alot of “dark” romance novels they all describe the men like this 😂

[@chaoticdusk1316]

This just makes me think of how all those "Alpha males" think they look and act lol.

[@ceilinh6004]

You forgot to give him tight pants, and a distracting bulge to which the narrator's eyes have been irresistably drawn.

[@FFVison]

Andrew Tate XD

[@Dragab1119]

She invited him to spend the night with her, and it was clear that he was enthused. He nodded vigorously, agreeing to her suggestion, his little man dancing in sync to his agreeance. His balls vibrated in anticipation like a pair of toddlers waiting to open their Christmas presents.

[@Dragab1119]

Sorry for the edit, I used “Sink” instead of sync cause I can’t spell lmao

[@crazypegasie9748]

LMAO

[@Youowesettness]

HIS LITTLE MAN💀

[@broccoli1683]

NOT THE TODDLERS 💀

[@teally-bop]

*vibrating balls omg*

[@PyroDrake1134]

As an autistic adult, I now feel obligated to say, “My testicles swing neurodivergently…” 🤣

[@asher692]

My boobs bob neurodiveregently as I waltz into my the therapist's office. "Come in" he whispers huskily. My breasts are stimming to comfort me in this alien place. 😜

[@salazarokierieta4385]

Crying😂😂😂💀💀

[@lanaharper9798]

I am twerking autistically

[@meaganstratton1733]

Its fine. I am now calling my lady bits "throbbing jazz cafe". It sounds like such a fun upbeat exciting name for it.

[@sandwingsauced339]

Lmao!!!!

[@imdeadoutsidetoo]

"as he walked across the café, you could tell by the way he walked he was well gifted below the belt. It was like two baseballs in a tube sock strapped to his waist. By the imprint left on his jeans his bratwurst was big, juicy, and ready to eat" -written by me, a female asexual

[@AutisticChristian]

As a female asexual, this filled me with so much pain that I burst out laughing.

[@sandwingsauced339]

Bratwurst!!!!! XD these descriptions are hilarious!!

[@alexandrahoward3686]

And... Where's the rest?!?! DO YOU HAVE AN AO3?

[@empyrea_2546]

As a fellow asexual woman, I endorse this. This is art

[@hazelthio7622]

I can't, it's so good 😭

[@lemonberry_soda]

Decided to write "man writing an enby" As they walked out of the family restroom, my jaw almost dropped. They were the peak being of envy. I knew that every man and woman in the room was also staring, flabbergasted, attracted, perhaps even horrified at the sight of the one who entered. They were leggy in that they had no legs at all, just one mass of shadowy flesh that rose up and up, leaving them towering close to the ceiling. How they walked, I had no clue, for they glided across the room in the most graceful of fashions. Their skin was a sea of night, and occasionally something would almost peak through. The Denny's cashier trembled, struggling to read the name of the take-out order the cryptid had placed, a name so exotic it probably required more than one tongue to utter. The being knew, however, and reached out two impossibly long arms to retrieve the paper bag and large freeze at the register. They turned to look at me before gliding out the same way. They did not blink, for there were no eyes, and their face I cannot begin to describe. I fell in love instantly. The event changed my life for better and for worse and started a lifelong passion for all things impossible. All I knew at the time, however, was that cryptids were real, and I was EXTREMELY horny for them.

[@asilnorahc8910]

A treasure!

[@Halloweenish]

That ain’t an enby, that’s a Lovecraftian monstrosity, stay woke y’all!

[@Genderanarchy]

@@Halloweenish this is enby lovcraftian horror erasure 😤 if mycelium can have 200+ sexes why can’t Cthulhu?!

[@dragonsarebutterflies3663]

Sounds pretty accurate to me (Source: i am said enby)

[@one-onessadhalf3393]

All my enby friends are like this, thanks for accuracy

[@Semudara]

"Ooohooohooo, yes," said the male author, his chiseled pecs positively twitching with anticipation. He had just written the greatest feminist novel in the world, full of womenfolk talking about all that weird girly stuff. "I cannot wait to be renowned as the world's greatest author!", he thought proudly to himself, as he sexily and sensuously took a bite of his pizza bagel.

[@empyrea_2546]

It's good. I love it🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Sad_Rats]

Ok I’m dying 😂😂

[@cloudbread4043]

Mmm, now I want pizza bagles

[@SidneyKenson]

nonbinary folks writing men and women? i mean i like it!

[@softnekogirl]

you wrote about a woman writing a man writing a woman, dayum how many bonus points did you get

[@reynastrange2828]

One of my pet peeves is when people describe sons being actively attracted to their mothers as “Oedipal.” While he did marry and have children with his mother, he didn’t know that’s who she was at the time (in fact he left his home to avoid this prophecy), and when he found out, he GOUGED HIS EYES OUT!!!!!

[@Kat-mv5dy]

Yes, but while the term references the play, it has long become separated from it. I understand if you are a fan of the play it could feel very discordant, but it is the correct usage of the term. Not trying to be particularly harsh on your pet peeve, but since the Oedipus complex is a well defined idea of its own, and Oedipal references that and not the original literary source, it seems a bit strange to get annoyed at that term. I could see getting miffed at Freud because he was a weirdo, but not really at people who are using a common term correctly

[@thefantasylife]

Just call it fruedian, that guy thought it was within every man’s nature to sexually desire his mother

[@Kat-mv5dy]

@@thefantasylife But Freudian covers a lot of terrible ideas not just this specific one. Why backpedal from using a word that means something in our language just because it doesn’t perfectly align with its literary reference?

[@omnistpagan3282]

It is a silly use of the term, and people are too lazy to actually learn these things in the first place.

[@herothebard]

Technically didn't his father send him to live with farmers instead of killing his son to avoid the prophecy?

[@lightbulbattacker]

Her mascara somehow gave the impression she could be extra aggressive. Like her eyelashes were tiny swords, just waiting to strike.

[@amore9003]

As a woman who loves women, I can confirm that you can wrinkle your nose "flirtatiously." Only thing they got right TwT

[@phoenixthings]

As another woman who loves woman, I have no idea what is flirtatious and what isn’t :’D

[@sassylittleprophet]

Meanwhile, I'm thinking of when Aziraphale was impersonating Crowley and he scrunched up his nose and it was the most adorable thing ever

[@Alice-ln8mg]

As another woman who loves women, and currently is dating a woman who will occasionally wrinkle her nose flirtatiously at me, making me fall even more in love with her, I can confirm it works 😊💚

[@roelandnaturewastaken]

As a man who loves men and women I have no idea how that would possible work!

[@mikewrites1577]

as an nonbinary person who loves men and women, I'm confused about how that works

[@plattkaeferindustries5469]

The one saying "oh she was not thin and conventionally attractive, so she had to have a nice personality or she'd off herself" is AWFUL in so many ways, I can't even begin to describe it. From the fatphobia to the sexism to.... oh god, why

[@kolgrimthunderhammer]

Yeah, stuck out to me as well and realized its from Midnight Riot by Ben Aaronovitch. I read it in 2011 when it came out since it was right up my alley as a fan of the Dresden Files and similar stuff and around that point in the book is when I put the series down if I remember right. I was just hitting the peak of my feminism (which I can't really say I've come down from...) and that kind of stuff in the writting had just become too much for me. Very well received book critically though.

[@leannequillan7566]

If I'd read that book as a teenager, I would have been absolutely devastated! When I think back to that me and the other girls like me, stuff like this makes my blood boil!! How utterly vile.

[@hmnhntr]

​@@kolgrimthunderhammerMan, I like Dresden Files so much, but wish so desperately he could just describe women like a normal human being

[@polomalco]

I can imagine the writers sweating feriously red faced with their hand in there pants as they write these passages but then the clarity hits in and they don't bother to go back on their writing.

[@avacadotoast5571]

Must be hard to write with one hand

[@N-Creator]

Me, a trans masc writing female characters doing things: She was beautiful but menacing. Her teeth were sharp as razors. Her eyes though striking fear in the hearts of all were a green shade like the crystals below her. The knife in her hand was sharp, the handle glistened the light like... [remembers I wanna be more like a man] a breast covered in oil...?

[@Semudara]

Ha! I do love the descriptions of how threatening she looks. Reminds me of when I'm petting my cat and praising how fearsome and gorgeous and incredibly deadly she is. ;3

[@realimereads2707]

My guy that's a cryptid (and I wanna meet her).

[@lordbanetheplayer8844]

@@realimereads2707 "I want to date the cryptid." Roll for initiative.!!

[@pennyforyourthots]

@@realimereads2707 monster girls are all the rage these days

[@booterfly6367]

Lmao, you are a man, just keep being you.

[@deadamoree]

As a woman, watching this is terrifying and funny at the same time.

[@beksbasillllll]

i love OTs videos but i couldn't continue

[@deadamoree]

@@beksbasillllll lol

[@princessstewart8196]

Manga Writer: She wasn't a typical shojo female lead, in fact, she had breasts big enough to stop a train and she could break a sword in half with her thick thighs. Therapist: *sighs* what has my job become...

[@BookWyrmOnAString]

Now I'm imagining the circumstances required to make a character have to break a sword in half without changing the genre away from shojo manga

[@-_Nifi_-]

Breast big enough to stop a train?!?! HUH?!

[@scootermcpeanuts6699]

Bro now I’m imagining her standing on a train track and reaching her jugs out like the heavy weapons guy in that end of the line animation

[@hamstermc7807]

@@BookWyrmOnAString Special crossover issue with a shonen manga about the protagonist’s brother? Almost like a She-Ra and He-Man sort of deal. Doesn’t “change” the genre, just temporarily adds on to it to keep both audiences entertained

[@amelieschalicke-wh8ed]

She ra luckily had a change tho love the new series

[@Sarah_does_stuff]

As she was walking i could've seen her watermelons hiden under a white shirt, the green stripes was visible and red watermelon juice was leaking out of her, i wonder why she tought that was a good idea to steal watermelons like that 0-0

[@tjtheknowledgeseeker7878]

They had us in the first half ngl

[@EE-bf3qx]

Castle

[@FaeChild8478]

XD

[@ladyscribbles6134]

😂😂😂

[@sandwingsauced339]

Lol! Watermelon thief!!

[@Catberyi]

as an asexual trans man I think I can write this perfectly I, a very manly man, was walking into the room of yum yum eating. She had her cake ready on the table. It was so glorious like a giant sleeping puppy. It had two perfect slices cut just for eating. I reached over to eat a slice and she said "NO, eat dinner first" which was a very yummy pasta with garlic bread and then we ate the chocolate cake after and it was awesome.

[@avsambart]

As an ace I approve

[@King.Koopaboo]

I'm drooling🤤

[@mirandamay668]

This is the most ace thing I have ever heard and I live with 3 ace people

[@mammoneymelon]

"and it was AWESOME" me lmao

[@cyrusharmon2597]

As a fellow ace, 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@gavia_galaxy]

Can I just say that my favorite thing about watching OT is hearing OT make random sounds "No!" "Woooh!" "Wow!" "*gasps* Not my ravioli!" "THATS YOUR MOTHER!" "Mmmf"

[@NathanPatrickLane]

Yeah, his voice is so bouncy and expressive. I'd love to have a soundboard of OT noises to terrorize Discord servers with.

[@-_Nifi_-]

@@NathanPatrickLaneyeah like you can imagine the faces he’s making whilst reading if you can’t see his face

[@matthew_cereals]

"she was.. Beautiful. She looked like a grown woman, even though she was 12 years old. Her body was alredy developed, her curves attracting every men in the world , including me. Elizabeth, my daughter" PS. Don't come at me I only read female feminist authors PPS. this was the most painful thing to write

[@TunaPetunia456]

I've been desensitized to stuff like this that I think it's absolutely hilarious still

[@zyerkos]

this is just the subplot of bioshock infinite

[@notoriousgoblin83]

I think writing this puts you on a list. I kinda hope so at least

[@retro3188]

Exactly! 12?! What the *fuck?!*

[@thewillow3457]

🤮 lol

[@DieHardAnimeOtaku15]

He stared hungrily at her as he thought himself a proud lion surrounded by his harem of lionesses. Little did he know, he was about to become a male hyena surrounded by a legion of higher ranking females, and he was staring at the highest among her pack. He was gonna be bullied into submission.

[@amore9003]

If only it was all on this level TwT

[@worm2976]

Was just gonna say it sounded lile a harem anime setup, then noticed your username 😂

[@jeweledexplorer3305]

"Hey Chris, you uh, don't enjoy sexual content, right?" That, was the first warning Chris foolishly ignored when his two good friends approached him, their faces red and their eyes pointedly focusing on anything other than Chris or the person beside them. "No." Chris answered, lowering his book as Felicia shoved a pair of pink sunglasses in his direction. "P-put these on, please!" Chris blinked, looked up at Felicia, then at Devan before focusing on the sunglasses. They seemed...Wrong. But he couldn't really put his finger on why, they were pink, childishly girly and had a female gender sign glued to one of the sides. But, like a fool Chris agreed. Figuring that they just wanted to snap a dumb picture or had been forced into a dumb bet. "Alright, I'm wearing them. Now what--," Chris stopped, blinked and then felt his face heat up. Felicia and Devan were no longer standing in front of him. Instead, two people drawn in a heavily, sexualized repaint of his friends stood before him. The male was glowing, his grass stained, tight football jersey highlighting every muscle on his chest and arms. As if they had been chiseled from Jojo Bizarre Adventure branded stone instead of carefully cultivated, human flesh. His face was sharp but kind, his green eyes piercing right through him yet also, inviting. Daring him to drink in his entire being as he smiled, perfect teeth glistening at him as Chris forced himself to look up and focused on the being's hair. A luxurious brown mane that would put any proud lion to shame was swaying gently in the wind. As if The gods of the Winds themselves decided to bless this outstanding mortal with permanent commercial grade fans. Something writhed and knotted in his stomach, prompting Chris to tear his gaze away from the human being blessed with the many things he was not and-- Oh. That. Had been a mistake. For to the man's (not a man, surely some sort of lust demon!) right, was the young woman. She was a head shorter than the man but what she lacked in height she made up elsewhere. Her long, flowing hair was a romantic shade of red, burning in the early fall sun as it framed her face, casting an air of mystery as she nibbled on her plump, delicious pink lips and batted her amber clay eyes at him. Quietly calling out to him, begging-- no, ordering him to make the first move as he glanced down and focused on her clothes. Swathed in a baggy grey sweater and a ripped skirt, it seemed so wrong. No, FELT wrong for her perky bosom to be shrouded in such mystery. The wrinkles did nothing but make him want to carefully peel the layers off of her and-- "DIIIIIEEEEEE!!!" "CHRIS!" Devan yelled while Felicia cheered, "GO CHRIS GO!" It felt like pure agony ripping the glasses off of his face, but the rushing adrenaline and maniacal joy as he felt stomped and did his best to rip them apart with only his feet made the pain--both physical and emotional. Worth it. "The devil made those." Chris panted once the deed had been carried out. "Okay, let's not go--," Devan started when Felica stopped him, a cold look on her face. "It made me, a lesbian, feel attracted to a man." "...I'll go get some gloves and lighter fluid so we can burn them." Devan wisely said. --This short novel has been brought to you by the authoress who cannot write...Whatever the heck those male authors consider a legit description of women. And decided to write a crack based story instead. (Cookies to whoever reads this monster of a youtube comment.)

[@Alicia-zf3nq]

I genuinely love this! It literally reads like what all stories with somewhat sexual descriptions, even good ones, sound like to me as an asexual. Like, Chris suddenly feeling sexual attraction and being weirded out by it, that's what I imagine greysexuals and demi-sexuals (asexuals who only feel sexual attraction under very particular circumstances) feel like experiencing sexual attraction for the first time

[@asilnorahc8910]

THIS IS GOLD (and i definitely will steal that sexy-filter-glasses idea for my whacky DnD campaign. Can be used as a bargaining chip, or for fun RP!

[@allenbush8780]

where are my cookies!

[@sapphicsapphire82]

I want cookies!

[@starkidbubble2000]

I'd love to read more of your work, this is great.

[@Super_Panda_BS]

Fun animal fact: The whip spider is one of the most weird looking spiders in the world and is found in Victoria, New South Wales and Queensland in Australia. It's often seen resting on one or two threads of silk. The whip spider has a long tail looking like a whip, hence its name.

[@OneTopic]

Those ones are so cool!! Thank you!!

[@opossumgutz]

thats so cool! thanks for the spider facts!

[@Super_Panda_BS]

@@OneTopic No problem! I love posting them 😆

[@jasperjazzie]

they have little pincers and it frightens me

[@TrueAnts1]

isnt that a whip scorpion?

[@Kila-Innova]

As a trans woman dating a trans dude I feel it is my duty to write erotica about trans dudes for giggles.

[@worm2976]

HOLY SHIT THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA

[@one-onessadhalf3393]

So what you’re saying is that you’re… SCHRÖDINGER’S HETEROSEXUAL

[@miraculous_lady_noir2179]

@@one-onessadhalf3393 Both dead and alive at once? Yep, describes most trans people right there lol

[@luniticarmor6843]

At the cost of my own dysphoria as a trans man, I shall also attempt 😂 "His shoulders, though seemingly chiseled out of stone, markedly hid the gorgeous lumps of flesh that grew like flowers out of cracked rocks along the riverbed of his body. Released from the confines of the cloth that dare to struggle against such gorgeous spectacles, they fell neatly above his boyish ribs. These outlandish marks of femininity upon his chiseled frame only seek to excite wonders upon eyes that wander to the edge of his pants, though I dare not ask what lay beyond the restraining cloth." That's it. That's all I got 😂

[@haroldgloom8637]

Currently readin "IT" and 200 pages in I can confirm, this man either has a deep grudge against women or never met one in person - how he writes them is disturbing

[@harleyquilt]

It is disturbing, but to be completely fair, he was blackout drunk and high when he wrote his classics. Needless to say, he was in a very dark state of mind during that period and from a purely scholarly point of view, his books serve as a fascinating reflection of people's mindsets when they have no restraint or inhibitions

[@haroldgloom8637]

​@@harleyquilt Good point, valid explanation - yet still no excuse. I don't want to say I don't like his book or how he writes (I do, its moestly the woman parts that eww me), yet just because it has a logical explanation to why and how doesn't mean one has to like it.

[@roul4842]

reasons why I don't like Stephen King

[@core17]

He's gotten better since those days, at least.

[@DesMuttYS]

Menwritingwomen Author: But how do I get across that she is angry? Most people: Well, you could describe the narrowing of her eyes, or how her lips are pressed thin. You established she has long fingernails, maybe describe how her hands are clenched so tight, the nails threaten to draw b100d. MWA: I know. "Her 8re@$ts heaved, skin flushed and n!pp1e$ hard with feminine anger."

[@POrion]

This makes fanfic writers seem a lot more competent lol

[@lenatunnissen369]

I can confirm that even if some of the writings were in fanfic, it would still be considered really bad lmao

[@POrion]

@@lenatunnissen369 good thing fanfic writers are a lot more competent

[@mndlessdrwer]

I just wish that BL authors would remember to mention preparation and lube at some point before the main pairing gets it on. Like, you're going to need some time if it's your first sexual encounter and saliva is wholly inadequate. On a side note, some women also don't get wet enough on their own, so lube is good for everyone.

[@LadySnowfaerie]

He charged into the room, his muscular pecs entering a full minute before the rest of him. They bounced around gaily as they waited, and one woman was tragically crushed to death at their advance. His hair fell around his shoulders like a glistening waterfall, the kind that you usually observe from a canoe seconds before disaster. His jawline was chiselled enough to cut rock, and in fact had previously been used just for that purpose judging by the condition of the walls of the previous room. ...I have no explanation for the amount of sarcasm that just happened.

[@John_Weiss]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm laughing so hard, I'm choking!

[@nathryl03]

@@John_Weiss I second this ☝

[@ladyscribbles6134]

I’m dying, and all the oxygen has left me 🤣🤣🤣

[@John_Weiss]

Important Lesson: _Always Check_ before hitting that "Reply"-button! When I originally wrote my reply, autocorrect changed "choking" to "coming". When I saw that while proofreading-before-posting, I *_completely_* lost it. I repeat: _Always Check_ before hitting that "Reply"-button … if not after finishing each sentence!

[@ladyscribbles6134]

@@John_Weiss Aw man, I wished I’d seen that then, I would’ve been so confused and even more laughing 🤣

[@SaltyTheAlien]

her eyes were the size of the MOON 🌑 much like her melons bought fresh from the grocer 🍉 her beauty.. unlike any other beauty 😳

[@OneTopic]

omg hahah what is this

[@valenciageode25]

Moon eyes. Run.

[@immutablebrew]

@@OneTopic Moon eyes... Local 58 is leaking.

[@michaelsingh8487]

@@valenciageode25 You know that when a woman's eyes are around 2,159.1 miles wide (each) that you're either in for a treat or everything around you is about to perish. Maybe both if you're lucky.

[@melialaa]

I wouldn't have laughed out loud, but the moon emoji made it so good 😂 thank you.

[@JessicaVincent83]

To be fair, dying from "staying out at night in Italy" was actually malaria.

[@catlover2223]

Or vampires.

[@amelieschalicke-wh8ed]

Or assault

[@JessicaVincent83]

@@amelieschalicke-wh8ed I know the story it's referencing, she died of malaria.

[@fluffypeguin09]

He looked her in the eyes. She stated “my boobs are down here” He embarrassingly looked down and watched as her stomach opened and she ate him alive. While in the stomach slowly being digested he though that she must have been really perky to kill him so quickly.

[@eruwaee]

He stared deeply into her deep blue orbs, marvelling at their deepness. "My boobs are down here," she said - seductively. He turned his eyes downwards, and watched as her torso opened up and she ate him alive. His final thoughts in her womanly, thin stomach were that she must have been exceptionally perky to kill him so quickly. Your work is an inspiration 🙏

[@SharpSquid_12]

Amongus

[@VampGirl353]

Omg I'm borrowing this for my D&D campaign 😂

[@Silentgrace11]

As an aspiring author, I sometimes worry I’m not detailed enough when describing characters, especially when I’m writing male characters. Then I see literature like the ones referenced in this video and realize it’s genuinely probably better to have less detail than more in this case.

[@charlespentrose7834]

Many of my favourite books and stories have little to no physical description of the characters, and when they do I often wind up missing or forgetting most of it. I honestly think too much is made of giving physical descriptions.

[@rainbowflowerpower4464]

I literally just bypass any description given to me and insert my own ideas of what the characters look like when I’m reading a book haha so I definitely agree that less is the way to go, just give what’s needed like their gender, any specific attributes like scars or body type from training or occupation (like they might be really strong looking because they’ve been a warrior most of their life for example), basic descriptors like eye and hair colour, and just add any other things you might feel are important for your specific story, like you might include height if they’re half elf and in your story world elves are tall for example, and yeah your sort of good to go from there 😁

[@Cora.T]

Vague descriptions are probably better ( unless genuinely necessary for the story, like a story about someone disabled for example ) that way people can fill in the blanks themselves and therefore also relate more to the character. Also very detailed descriptions can sometimes end up feeling like you're reading a self insert fic from the author. But don't be too vague either, specifically with the core personality. You don't want characters to feel like cardboard cutouts, think Bella from twilight.

[@Cora.T]

@@rainbowflowerpower4464 I don't even think eye or hair colour are that important, I think there are few stories in which it makes a difference to the plot

[@BankruptMonkey]

Describe hair color, maybe hair style, maybe skincolor, and if they have a trait that makes them significantly different from other characters like height or mobility aid throw that in. After that extra details are only really needed in romances.

[@rosegoldwolfie8482]

Actually there are some men who do great writing women the first one that comes to mind is Rick Riordan whos female characters are actually really good and that as an introverted teenage girl who stays at home most of the time can really relate to

[@sportenapfeltorten2095]

Yup I think he is quite good aswell. I think he gets especially good in his later book. With all the LGBTQ representation. I think its quite nice. I think Derek Landy's Valkyrie Cain, fromm "skulduggery Pleasant" is also quite well written.

[@roxassora2706]

HAIL RICK RIORDAN

[@saranjago]

While it’s been a long while since I read them, Chris Colfer’s land of stories has pretty well written women in them

[@worm2976]

And Christopher Paolini as well! Especially the excellent and diverse cast of women (ft a realistic female MC) in To Sleep In A Sea Of Stars The male cast is good too, just that it's so rare to see a female cast like that I was mind blown

[@oppoloppo]

I agree, his writing style feels light and easy to read, and he touches upon some surprisingly serious topics, while still having an interesting and diverse cast of characters, 10/10 love him.

[@gamergirl24]

I am embarrassed to admit that I have read "Conquered By Clippy". My friends and I heard about it and I was the tribute who had to read it and report back to the group. It was... a trainwreck. And definitely a strong contender for the most men-writing-women book ever written.

[@winterwitch8914]

Thank you for reporting it here. Now none of us have to suffer as well.

[@tuesdaywithanh]

I'm a little scared to ask, but did the author anthropomorphize clippy at all?

[@gamergirl24]

@@tuesdaywithanh Yes.

[@gamergirl24]

A little bit. Basically a 6ft paperclip with a metal dick.

[@gamergirl24]

And a network crash gave him sentience.

[@TheRogueCrow]

As a transmasc who wants be an author, this will be painful: She was beautiful, as she glided down the street. She was obviously hiding her voluptuous watermelons under a red flannel, and hiding her undoubtedly gorgeous hair under a hat. Her intentions were clear, to entice any man that laid eyes on her to further explore. A man describing a transmasc. (Based on a true story)

[@salty_the_salt3686]

Sounds like an interesting story

[@ezelfrancisco1349]

Why doesn’t she just carry the watermelons in a bag or something? Why does she need to carry it under her shirt?

[@TheRogueCrow]

@@ezelfrancisco1349 i cant tell if this is /j or /srs lmao

[@asilnorahc8910]

Well this is a synopsis that catches my interest. Based on a true story no less!

[@tbnrrenagade9507]

as an aspiring author, that was painful. well done!

[@sam177007]

“She always knew how to taunt me. Her slender legs would walk out into the living room after one of her many naps. Then she would present her butt to me, but right before I could have a touch of her soft body, she’d walk over to the sun patch next to our glass door. She’d lie down in it to nap again.” -a man writing about his cat.

[@wolf1066]

8:49 - anyone who thinks that "mentioning the [woman's] chest" is "unavoidable" is destined to wind up on lists like this one. Hair colour and style, eye colour, clothing styles and choices, whether they wear makeup/jewellery or have piercings/tattoos, facial expressions, body language - basically visible cues that tell the reader about the sort of person the character is - are the things I'm likely to include in the description for *any* character of *any* gender. Descriptions of body parts seldom reveal anything about the character - and when they do, it'd have to be "her left forearm and hand had been replaced with a simple prosthetic - a legacy of her motorcycle-riding days" or something equally noteworthy.

[@hokutoulrik7345]

Yup. Should only come up when writing erotica and should not be described as anything seen in this video.

[@wolf1066]

@@hokutoulrik7345 The one time I could imagine anyone needing to write anything like what was shown in this video would be if they were writing a particular *_character's_* impression of a woman - and wanting to convey to the reader that this character was some kind of immature sleazy idiot. It would be best to contrast it with other characters' POVs to show that it was an intentional characterisation, not bad writing.

[@JDM-is-my-name]

@@wolf1066 true, if you describe boobs or like, shoulders, I will always assume the character I am reading is a perv. With the shoulders, it's because I have read a variation of, "Her shoulders were thin and straight" too many times. Unless the character is a perv or is obsessed with boobs (so a perv, lol) or, if you must, the character is very, very attracted to the woman or had maybe slept with her before. It is so specific how and when you should describe boobs

[@wolf1066]

@@JDM-is-my-name It would actually be kind of fun contrasting two characters who are generally attracted to women by having one of them all about what mood she seems to be in, how her clothes make her look professional/rebellious/quirky/whatever, and the other one laser-targeting her boobs, ranking them on size, movement and how much cleavage is visible...

[@JDM-is-my-name]

@@wolf1066 it would actually, lol

[@0rang3boi]

She walked across the room, physics aiding her ample curves. She sure was a looker. Nothing else about her was really significant. -Manly man writer 2022

[@xeldabutterfae407]

Oooooouch XD That kinda sums it up, don't it?

[@ellaqyk]

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS

[@_foxpuppet]

Holy shit, too real

[@ana_jelly2010]

MANLY MAN WRITER LMFAO-

[@rhiannon.de.rohan-thomas]

* She sure was a looker: her eyes looked left, they looked right, her eyes crossed and then rolled down and back continuously like a barrel rolling down a hill. She was yet another one of those poorly made robot spies having a malfunction.

[@lorenloiselle1733]

14:03 Mr. Fantastic's eye was drifting towards distant fields yearning to be free

[@capinsgwiggs]

"I'm fine" he said while walking. his balls bouncing up and down made me recall an old memory of my time as a kid, playing on the bungee jump at the summer camp. his shlong had a slight bend where the tip pointed slightly upward, yearning for a life beyond our small town.

[@nosoynadaoriginal]

the last part 💀

[@AspiringToFailure]

Challenge accepted OT. Charlotte was excellent at writing erotic novels. All her friends had told her they absolutely loved them, but the publishers would not accept her manuscripts. "I need some inspiration" she sighed whilst googling. She flicked through page after page of results, incredulous at what she saw. She resigned herself to her fate and opened her manuscript on her computer. She deleted: 'Thomas was stuck in traffic. Stuck in traffic and bored. He glanced around his car for something to do. There was nothing, he kept a clean car. Not even a discarded reciept to read. As he looked, he caught his reflection in the rear view mirror and smiled. His chocolate brown eyes took in more of his reflection. His medium-length, swept back hair caught in a light breeze. His shirt unbuttoned and loose in the heat, barely covering a gym-sculpted body. He couldn't wait to get home. He had stopped to buy a dozen red roses and groceries, and planned to surprise his beautiful girlfriend with the most romantic night of her life.' And wrote: 'Thomas was stuck in traffic and he was bored. The heat was unbearable, and his mind wandered into naughty imaginings. He glanced out of the window and spotted a gorgeously leggy blonde. Her legs were like frozen icicles hanging down from a butt that jiggled like jello, waving hello. Her breasts were looking at him agressively. They wanted his attention, so he gave it to them. He was sure she must have a face but the boobs were too enticing. At least an E cup with a waist that could pass through the eye of a needle. His firemans shortcut tried to escape as his six-pack quivered with excitement. He was no longer interested in going home. He wanted her and she was just standing there so she must want him too. Noone could resist his magical flute once he showed it to them.'

[@pleasurepanda3285]

🤣🤣🤣

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

RIP the first draft ;_;

[@Xeyal1001]

The fucking Jello, too good.

[@notoriousgoblin83]

First draft made my bisexual ass go into full neuron activation

[@Maria.Mirabella]

Holy cow, this in amazing xD

[@SleepyCrumpet]

16:45 omg! My mum had that on audio book and was so horrified by this, so she did some research on the author. Turns out he had a lot of feed back about the misogyny in his books. After this he really did a genuine deep dive into why he was doing that, got some therapy and really put in the work to undo his internalised misogyny. Pleased to say his work has changed a lot in that department. Wish half these people writing these things would react that way tbh lol

[@bug4446]

He sauntered into the library with purpose- almost certainly to find a book. His intellect was oozing from his pores in a most sensual way, drawing many eyes to explore the majesty of his physique. His glutes tangoed together like two softly animated gems trying to fuse into a new being. His noticeably large pendulum in the front of his sweatpants swayed in eager anticipation of a good non-fiction find. As he reached for a book that was on a particularly high shelf, his shirt lifted slightly, revealing a mouth-watering innie naval. As he brought the book down to read, his eyes glistened with curiosity and he wet his lips in excitement. He was here for knowledge. The other visitors to the library suddenly wanted something else 👀

[@nemomagnum]

the tangoing glutes and large pendulum had me in tears lmao

[@agatahighstein]

GOLD 😂😂😂😂😂

[@ladyscribbles6134]

This had me dying 😂 Also, Steven Universe reference? 👀

[@MrsKirk2203]

I can think of a few male characters that are written much like this in fanfiction

[@watcher735]

This one wins

[@aceofspades8474]

4:13 “You just made me choke on my face.” I’m sorry what? That’s not what that says OT, are you alright?

[@TheManaPrism]

He woke up sweating. The usual nightmares again : he was in a room full of doctors telling him he was infertile. Wiping off the manly, dark-haired tears falling from his eye, his nude, naked jazz saxophone pumping against the sheets. "What being a man feels like... he said with a bitter smile."

[@rashellewilson5992]

As a female writer, this "homework assignment" is too funny to pass up. {{ As she raised her hands to pull her hair up into that messy ponytail I always admired, my eyes could not help themselves from glancing down to her clothed breasts. She was wearing her oversized hoodie, as usual, but I knew they were there. So big, so soft. Truly her most impressive feature. Such a shame she always hid them away from my gaze. }}

[@fisch37]

Oh, goodness, dear hypothetical author, it's a stroke of luck you can't see her breasts with that impression you have

[@asilnorahc8910]

CAN'T SPELL SAPHICC WITHOUT THICC (honestly, a good bit, congrats! XD)

[@rashellewilson5992]

@Simply Sahara I hate that you absolutely nailed that 😂😂😂😂

[@MusicalBloodDrop]

You'll have to be satisfied with an NB writing men but here goes: His hair fell into his eyes in a way that denoted shyness, but the rest of his body swung and wriggled and jumped with an energy unseen by his peers; the first of the sheepdog puppies had finally woken up and was ready to play :D

[@Crows_Nestt]

This made me laugh so hard😂

[@nathryl03]

Nice surprise ending there, had to read it a second time cuz I thought i misread something lol

[@GeodeCrowley22]

sheepdog puppies,,,, Oh my goodness

[@ladyscribbles6134]

He needs to get those puppies on a leash before they’re anywhere near a woman and wanting to act up

[@SushiWolfYT]

If I ever write a story that is female oriented, I will absolutely source my stuff by asking women what they talk about, and make sure it’s accurate.

[@Chib_Lee]

True

[@DigiVixen]

Perhaps that's why mine and my partner's story is so good because we ask each other things about our characters.

[@tiggert4002]

When I was about 11 years old, I went through the whole questioning if I really was gay. But instead of looking for a gay quiz, I decided to look for a lesbian novel. I wanted to see if reading about two women falling in love would be something I could picture for myself. I accidently downloaded an erotic novel. I will never forget that one of the characters stiff nipples were described as being the length of cigarrette butts. I was too young for that.

[@faunatide]

I don't think that author has ever even seen a woman in their life

[@caspergotlost]

@@faunatide Maybe they just smoke the cigarettes until they are burning their lips

[@the_melodic_banshee]

But did u figure it out through?

[@omjagvarenfisk]

Her sweater puppies where lay asleep cuddling each other as she looked down on them. She couldn't help but feel pride at how big they where. The only sad part was that she couldn't fit any more of them in there as her labrador went to get another puppy for her to look after.

[@chancewill6910]

I'm a trans man, lived most of my life as a lady but have never been able from the brain of a woman, even when I was a "little girl" I scrapped all the princess stories I tried to write because something just seemed off, girls weren't like that. I always write from a male perspective because I sorta understand that better and I feel it's disrespectful to write as someone when you don't know how that feels, have no idea how they think.

[@cinderellaskeleton6720]

How the hell are you supposed to add diversity if you only make characters like you?

[@rienn8559]

nah you can try writing women just give them an actual personality bro without sexualizing them

[@MidnightEkaki]

while you can't have the experience of someone who isn't you, part of writing is using imagination to imagine how someone might think or feel. if you describe it badly you either just didnt do enough research or youre just not good at writing

[@TisPopRock]

Eh as a cis girl I’m okay if a guy writes from a girl’s perspective just as long as you’re doing your research or if the struggles of being a woman aren’t relevant to your story.

[@teuast]

i have to imagine that even as a man, talking to women and getting their feedback on your writing would have to be at least possible

[@treyatkinson7564]

I can't. Instead, I have this: She was taller than any person I'd ever seen. Having worked construction most of her life, her arms were thicker than I-beams, muscles glistening in the early morning light as she finished another set of crunches. God, I was lucky to be her wife. (Felt more natural, but probably not great.)

[@celltower3032]

Beautiful, as someone who if I hadn't realized earlier would have been because of construction women.

[@nathryl03]

That was very nice 😃

[@MrQuantumInc]

That still sounds like erotica written by a man, just a more specific variety of erotica.

[@treyatkinson7564]

@@MrQuantumInc I'm not interested in writing women the way most uninformed men do. There's a time for trying to describe allure, and a time to write people as people. I liked the idea of writing from the perspective of a woman admiring her wife.

[@watcher735]

This is beautiful. I love it so much!

[@julievirga8834]

Me, a female, Attempting to write a man: I stomped into the room and glared at the council members around him. He opened his lips and out shouted one word "FOOTBALL"

[@tjtheknowledgeseeker7878]

nailed it

[@owenthompson4071]

I could totally see this as a musicman style scammer trying to convince a small town that the only way to protect the youth is spending on new uniforms

[@MDR-zf8th]

As an AMAB trans non-binary humanoid this made me laugh harder than I was expecting. Well done.

[@vxicepickxv]

At least he didn't shout Duval

[@feuerling]

The room immediately erupts in violence while each council member compulsively shouts out their favorite sport like a pokemon in a fierce, masculine battle for dominance among each other.

[@electronics-girl]

As a trans lesbian just starting my transition, I'm not even sure who I'm supposed to write as whom.

[@PRGME7]

my guess is you write what your brain can comprehend easier and branch out after that.

[@realrealwarpet]

“A leggy blond walked into my office” Ah, so the twist is its a guy. “14 legs!”

[@realrealwarpet]

@@thatotherted never skip leg day. Makes the goods even gooderer

[@John_Weiss]

The twist is she's a lobster-person!

[@John_Weiss]

@@realrealwarpet Speak for yourself. When I was in my 20s, I never did leg-days because (A) I bicycled everywhere instead of having a car; and (B) if I'd made my legs any bulkier, I wouldn't be able to get pants over my calf muscles! Never could build any upper-body muscle for sh1t, however.

[@realrealwarpet]

@@John_Weiss now im just imagining a huge pair of legs with a really skinny everything else XD

[@John_Weiss]

@@realrealwarpet Yep. That was me in college. I'm grad school, I lifted weights to try and put on some muscle in my upper body. I de-beanpoled myself, but never really bulked up much.

[@ryzekiv7147]

Male Author: She emerged from the water. Her hair, wet, like fresh-cooked spaghetti. Her hefty bosom, bouncing, like two halved watermelons in a brassiere. Her lips, juicy and red, like two perfectly cut slices of red bell pepper. Her figure, slender, like a hot and steamy loaf of French Bread… Male Author’s Wife: “Honey, Please stop making mannequins out of our dinner.”

[@mangaanimefan89]

Damn, now I'm hungry for French Bread! 🥖😋

[@Rav0000000]

I do think this kind of writing could have a place in a novel, if only to serve as the mindset of a particular character. Having the same scene described by a different character in an entirely different (more reasonable way) way would be a fun way to juxtapose the immature description by the other character.

[@Tekdruid]

14:13 Reed Richards' pupils are so ashamed of what just came out of his mouth that they're trying to physically escape from his face.

[@Cornyisshort]

Man writing a woman: As she ran down the road her large “watermelons” jiggled up and and down like 2 heads nodding with excitement Woman writing a man: As he walked through the dark forest alone he kept hearing sticks cracking “Could just be me stepping on sticks” he thought, little did he know it wasn’t him making the cracking stick noises…

[@MeigsmerlinMeigsmerlin]

Lmao

[@table2.0]

You’re such a supportive dad to young women and lgbt people alike! You’re wonderful, please keep being incredible and spreading love

[@Daphne1758]

Guys, here are some tips for writing a female character Wite a character with a personality, identity, story and goals Make them a girl or woman Finished

[@tjtheknowledgeseeker7878]

For an appearance description; Just say pretty. Problem solved.

[@melanie_13172]

@@tjtheknowledgeseeker7878 Part of the point is that you generally don’t need to know whether a character - male or female - is pretty or not. I’d say the only time that needs to be described is if you’re making it clear that the character whose perspective you’re writing from is attracted to them. And the only reason the reader needs to know that is if it’s relevant.

[@sundalosketch4769]

The only thing exclusive on writing women are experiences they have but if, and *only if,* it's important to the story (giving birth, periods, difficulties living in society as a women, etc) same goes for everyone who experiences something too unique to the usual written character archetypes to not not acknowledge within the story.

[@tyme7840]

(bad woman writing man) "As he walked down the stairs. His elephant was as clear as day with large tusks. All so firm that he could practically go hunting with them at any minute. All I could do was avert my eyes as it knocked over a lamp as he turned the corner."

[@OneTopic]

Haha oh no!

[@black_nekoboy828]

Watching this video, I finally found a way to subtly let my readers know that that one, specific male character does not deserve sympathy. Thank you, OT

[@salamanda11]

“All cups are good cups.” Well said, OT. Well said.

[@lorifiedler13]

A T shirt. That needs to be on a T shirt.

[@sleepy_sloth7998]

@@lorifiedler13 This needs more than a T shirt. It needs the works. Mug, poster, Jackets/hoodies, coasters, place mats, etc. I could go on and on

[@brandongertzen1455]

"Are you sure you don't want company" she said as she tried to put the straw of her drink in her mouth without looking in an attempt to seem confident and suductive. She missed and attempted again and again for just a moment too long. "Are you good?" I questioned

[@nosoynadaoriginal]

She was, actually, not good. A visit to the hospital revealed she was having a stroke. (I wanted to add something haha)

[@wintergray1221]

I don't know why, but I found this to be wholesome. We need more characters that act like dorks, I think.

[@MystLunarabne]

11:34 To be fair all three of those things are pretty sexy.

[@lauraanne341]

I never fail to be truly flabbergasted by these things. It's just... As a writer raised as a girl, how can anyone write these things and think 'yes, I've done well here today'? How???

[@TheAwesomes2104]

Lmao, I'm crying that when I heard "leggy blonde" my mind went directly to spiders or centipedes, and I giggled, then the "14, way to many" came and killed me dead.

[@alexanderthegreat6682]

my mind imagined stilt legs. half her entire height and thin as sticks.

[@Indie_Calls]

OT mentally high-fiving himself over "all cups are good cups" is everything to me 😂

[@BillyBob-vc7ns]

I hope everyone is having a good day. If something is getting you down OT is the best cure. His videos are my favorite part of my day and always cheer me up. Love you all ❤️

[@TheMightyX]

I hope you’re having a good day, too, kind internet stranger! Much love back! 💖

[@alex-simpson]

You know, the first time I watched one of OT's videos I wasn't sure I liked him. Now I can't wait for the new one. His laugh is just so endearing!

[@BillyBoyBatman.twitch]

SO YOUR THE REASON I COULDENT GET THAT USERNAME

[@lordbanetheplayer8844]

@@BillyBoyBatman.twitch Battle Of The Bobs..

[@Lucy666Fernandez]

This reminds me of an idea I had during another of these videos. Especially the guy saying it's unavoidable to describe someone's boobs in a story. How about a character whose body and appearance is never mentioned? They're only described in how they interact with the environment and the impact they have on it. It would be like a narrative void, even usable as somewhat of a metaphor in itself?

[@nathryl03]

I would love that. I like to imagine what the characters I'm reading look like and sometimes a new piece of information ruins that. I know it's silly, but it's part of getting immersed in the story for me lol

[@chloepainter4064]

read a story where the character had no name, don't see why it isn't possible!

[@ElvenTinuviel]

@@chloepainter4064 You're actually describing Fight Club, and there's nothing wrong with that, it's a good book.

[@ElvenTinuviel]

For a book with the protagonist not described, I lean towards Sunshine by Robin McKinley. I didn't realize it the first one or two read-throughs, but the only time the main character is described is by another: middling tall, skinny, fierce look, weird hair from always being behind a handkerchief. We don't even have to trust this guy's word, vague as it is, and she doesn't describe herself. I liked it, because I could imagine a huge range of races and physiques behind Sunshine, to make her look like me or think of myself in a stranger's shoes. Ok, I'm weird.

[@elenafriese891]

@@chloepainter4064 isn't that just Rebecca?

[@monroerobbins7551]

I’m glad I began watching these videos, cause… while I’m a trans man, I like hearing from perspectives that differ from my own. Plus, hearing tips on how to write about things like describing skin tones, hair, and things like that, in a way that are intuitive to many people, not just my own perspective. For example, quotes from my own story when I was 10: “Her expression screamed ‘you’re the wet food I touch in the sink.’” Or “The impatience and rage made her want to bite down on a goddamn table, because that at least would be stimulating.” I don’t write smutty stuff or romance stuff that much, but I’m glad to hear from different perspectives, and hear some constructive guidance on how to describe peoples’ physical traits better, or in the very least, more realistically.

[@mandipandi303]

Watching this in the library was definitely a mistake. It's taking ALL of my willpower not to laugh out loud and disturb everyone. I worry for these male writers.

[@TheAustronaut03]

sometimes, i feel bad about my writing skills and that i suck at it in these moments, i read this subreddit because it reminds me how much worse i could be doing

[@naylorgray360]

Omg the post at 12:32 is from the book Armada, written by the same guy who wrote Ready Player One. I remember because when I read Armada for the first time that line did so much psychic damage to me it’s been permanently seared into my brain

[@SterlingSilver2348]

Once again. I let out a ungodly squeal at Terry Pratchett being mentioned. Great video as always OT

[@alisonstark]

Brilliant to hear him being mentioned! Just a small point Moist von Lipwig is a human man not a golem (although there are a lot of them in that book)! Sorry.

[@SterlingSilver2348]

We have so many of his books at home, my mum, gran and me all love Pratchett's work

[@androgenius_alisa]

As a man, I'd never write boobs having sounds. I'm studying materials and can definitely say that boobs absorb kinetic energy and will absorb the sound since sounds are waves of mechanical energy

[@hawkeyescoffee6399]

Of course, everyone knows bewbs act as sound dampeners. 👍🤣

[@grassblock7668]

Tip from a fellow man: just don't write boobs in general.

[@real3576]

unless you slap them

[@sleepy_sloth7998]

@@real3576 I almost did a spit take. Slap? Technically correct and hilarious but completely and utterly unnecessary

[@quaryn]

I recall reading a random erotica story in the early days of the internet that claimed that the sound made by a jostling breast is "wubbeda". Always stuck with me for some strange reason...

[@amypond7631]

I'm new to the channel, but I just wanted to say that I love the way you read things; you've got a great voice and an even better laugh. Also, seeing that this was a fundraiser for the Trevor Project made me incredibly happy, so thank you so much!

[@Trickpants]

2:37 - OT, you missed the chance to say "Hungry, hungry honkers"!

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodmu2374]

I LOVE IT! 😃

[@annamolly1261]

With everything that's going on in the US right now I would love to see someone use these posts as a way to show how limited male politicians understanding of women's anatomy is🤣

[@michakaikarsten7331]

"Going outside at night in Italy" has me wheezing because that book had such an impact on me, I was there standing inside the Colloseum going "ah yeah would you look at that, the very thing that killed Daisy Miller"

[@dialupsituation1839]

11:18 Propaganda so successful that we're still repeating it over 2000 years later. Cleopatra was less of a threat to the Roman Empire if its people believed she was little more than a seductress, rather than a seriously impressive (unmarried) queen. She was actually quite plain-looking (I'm not sure if that's according to beauty standards of the time or because of Royal Incest).

[@catroyalty6360]

I can write like a man writing a woman and a woman writing a man. MWW: "her breasts sagged, becoming heavier and heavier with every breath she took. She would bat her chocolate-colored eyes, and the men in the room would get hypnotized. They would do what she'd command, regardless of their own feelings about it. Her chamber of secrets stretched everytime she used this power though, until eventually it stretched so much it took ahold of her. She tried to escape, with her breasts flailing around like pizza dough being tossed around at a pizzeria. She squirmed and cried, telling all the men in the area to help, yet eventually was swallowed." WWM: "His eggs jiggled around, craving some attention. While he walked, they'd bounce left to right, begging him to give them some time. 'Eat us!' they'd say, yet the man did not respond. One day while he was asleep, they had decided they'd had enough. With the almighty strength of the man's pleasure rod, they eventually found a way to detach themselves from the man's body. 'You didn't do what we asked', they told him when he woke up. They then proceeded to do what is called, in moral terms, a big no-no."

[@Sly-Moose]

Underrated comment

[@zyerkos]

i wish my glasses came in a day later so i didnt have to read this comment, good on you

[@catroyalty6360]

@@zyerkos mood

[@ladyscribbles6134]

Holy sh*t 😂😂😂

[@FByrde]

Ah yes...my jazz café is a super trendy spot, there's the improv nights, the beat poetry, and every now then even a big band revival, but the peak event is the "Paint The Town Red" parade held every month, preceded by a week of Eye-Boobie Synchronized Rolling.

[@princess_shymiera]

As an AFAB nonbinary fanfic writer/comic artist, I find this subreddit hilarious

[@alexisgrunden1556]

14:50 Ok, but to be fair? An elbow strike to the tit will *_REALLY_* freaking hurt. Like a steel-toed boot to the jewels, guys. You've got nerve endings...we've got nerve endings...it hurts.

[@aceofspades8474]

OH MY GOD THAT’S AN ELBOW! I thought the one in red was just punching and her entire upper arm was just submerged inside the other ones chest, like a bag of holding or something. I don’t know why I didn’t question it long enough to realize that’s not what’s happening, if I never saw this comment I would have continued to see it as someone sticking half their arm into an extra-dimensional boob.

[@vibingpurplerose2468]

I once picked up a series of explicit novels from a Goodwill, and in the first few pages it basically had a woman getting off on the vibrations from riding a bus. Made me wonder about the author.

[@thesearchforthemustache2589]

Andy smirked confidently, striding purposefully forward towards the bar in the club, turning countless heads as he walked past. This was something Andy often lamented. It was difficult to make friends with anyone like this. He resented his face, which seemed to be carved out of cold marble, beautiful, yet unattainable. His broad shoulders, that seemed to carry the world on them. And last of all, his massive, throbbing heart.

[@sandwingsauced339]

I can just imagine this guy looking exactly like Handsome Squidward lol!

[@yosefzanerva806]

How I write women vs how other men write women: How other men write women: It was a stormy evening. The dame entered my office in a flurry, her boobs shaking like the dice in my hand when I was at the craps table. As she spun around to close the door, her long, wet, silky hair swept to the side, revealing the view of her butt pressed against her tight skirt. It jiggled like two bobblehead toys. She turned to face me with those baby blue, innocent eyes, as fair as those of a young doe. "Are you GigaChad69XD?" I grinned. "Just like it says on the door, sweet cheeks", I replied in my manly voice. How I write women: She rose from the pool, the water sliding down her taunt abdominal muscles where her armor had been torn, the blood of her foe dripping off her blade. On the bank, the warrior crawled on the shore, before rolling onto his back, coughing. She stalked forward, the way a tiger or a crocodile stalks it's prey. The warrior gave a mighty cough before gazing at her with contempt. "You...can't defeat me," he coughed at last. "No man can defeat me in battle." She grinned at him, her grey eyes gleaming from beneath her helmet. She planted her sword in the ground, before undoing the chainmail around her chest. Drawing her knife she sliced the fabric that bound her breasts, keeping them secure during battle. "I'm no man!" she declared. The warrior's eyes filled with horror, as he realized who had defeated him, what had defeated him. "No", he whispered. "That's not possible." He broke down in another fit of coughing. She raised her sword once more. "S'korath, the bloody!" She declared. "For years you have terrorized my home, plundered our villages, killed our men, raped our women, and slaughtered infant and elder alike. Your reign of death and blood ends here!" She grinned mockingly before adding a final taunt. "...at the hands of a WOMAN." With those words her sword came down, down through his breastplate, down through his heart, down into the earth. He gasped, choked, and coughed up blood. Then he breathed no more.

[@haydenfields2282]

i'm sorry is this a lotr quote or do i just need to go to sleep

[@yosefzanerva806]

@@haydenfields2282 It's close, and yes, that scene was my main source of inspiration. Damn, that was an awesome movie!

[@yosefzanerva806]

@-Lick-elbow- "Damn" as in "Damn, that was awesome" or as in "Damn, wtf did I just read"?

[@wormsign2637]

She walked into the biology room, and that’s where she met him, a guy named Culley. His hair was gorgeous and was so tall it seemed to defy gravity itself. He seemed just prefect in frame, not overly muscular and bulging but definitely strong. His face was just so chiseled and oddly cute. And his black shirt made him look so handsome. It was all topped off by the bluish tint of the school that day. When he saw her, he covered his mouth with his hand, almost like he was disgusted. But, that’s when Swana knew, she wanted him. She *needed* him. *And only him.*

[@PastaWhichIsBurnt]

0:42 me explaining why my grandma can't be upset when a trans person enters the bathroom because she wont know that their trans:

[@sundalosketch4769]

18:47 made me so mindblown i can't believe i never realized that's what makes me uncomfy with "love triangles" so much. They're just love corners always filled with melodrama with a disgusting amount of sorrow and struggle in the middle and people call that love. I really wanna find that post and share it, we gotta make "love corner" a more common term for better accurate tagging/genre organization for people wanting real love triangles over the "2 want 1" deal.

[@lostpaws1314]

4:10 Text; "You just made me choke on my tea" OT; "You just made me choke on *my face* "

[@FaeFayore]

As he looked up he saw Lustelle, aloof as always, for the first time. As the nightly news droned on in the background, her mothers corset had made her molehills into mountains, bustling with the activity of a hundred meerkats. The meerkats seemed to dance rhythmically to the song of her heart, and they were charmed with each step as she moved forward. A single phrase left her lips. “Chicheechichichit.” Thad stepped back as the two polecat dens below her waist thrummed with each step. It was as if a colony of cockroaches had suddenly erupted from the floorboards, and her stilettos whispered for them to gather ‘round. “How-“ Thad whispered, as Lustelle revealed her true self to him. Hundreds of squirrels poured from her lips, red as a battlefield of 100 defeated Spartans. “How does this always happen?” he shouted as he ran. They followed, lusting for the nuts he was known for keeping in his trouser pockets.

[@len0764]

THIS IS AMAZING IVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR THE PAST FIVE MINUTES

[@tsukikage]

Okay, the lung one was from The Fault In Our Stars, a book (loosely based on a true story, made into a movie) about a teenager with thyroid cancer that has metastasized to her lungs, so she uses an oxygen tank and cannula and even then often has trouble breathing. So that's why she's feeling her lungs to keep their shit together.

[@A_Guy_Named_Jeronimo]

OH MY GOD OT LOVES TERRY PRATCHETT TOO Also, the character Moist Von Lipwig is a criminal who was allowed to go free if he could successfully set up a postal service, railway line and resort the banks

[@Dragiare]

Her name was Gwendalyn. She was more shapely that a polygon. Curves where you wanted them. Corners where she needed them. Only a really man could fathom such beauty.

[@Semudara]

She had vertices, a sufficient number. Her beautiful form extended across three spatial dimensions, and when she turned, you could see more of her faces and sides.... 🤤

[@the_once-and-future_king.]

So only guys can do geometrical maths?

[@sea2656]

That's my name and i am disturbed. Thank you 😭💀