Ashens Halloween Special 2017

[@Qxir]

I honestly can't imagine Ashens getting rid of this couch and replacing it. What would I do with my life?

[@judojamie379]

go to the skip where he throws it away and slowly tear some off each day and inject it directly into your bloodstream or just cry

[@Firecul]

There are other couches out there that have had unspeakable things done upon them but this one is ours

[@danielflanard8274]

It would be tough and might take a few years of therapy but it's two simple words, move on.

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

I was quite amused to recently see comments on another video, where someone was extremely irate that he'd not used any of his KZbin money to replace the sofa yet.

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

Toxic Potato, I know, right? It's almost unprecedented on KZbin, known as a most civil and intellectual debate platform.

[@trogdor8764]

"Hello! This is certainly quite high pitched! Hi! I'm a small elf who used to advertise breakfast cereal, but now, kids just inject cocaine directly into their eyeballs every morning, so I'm out of a job!" I lost it lol

[@Ninten110dogs]

Same lmfao

[@insertjokehere]

He sounds like Jonathan Ablebody.

[@Poeley]

How did they get so much glue on the bats face and yet miss the eyes completely making them loose??

[@athenathegreatandpowerful6365]

Talent.

[@vvaspss5322]

years and years of research

[@samholdsworth420]

Slave labor and no quality control

[@mbpoblet]

_"It's also weirdly bulbous in the wrong directions..."_ Story of my life... :/

[@user-yo2lt8ch7v]

Yours too?

[@maverickREAL]

Marc B. Poblet oh you poor thing. Can we talk about our life stories? Mine ain't better~

[@CLaw-tb5gg]

And my squidger doesn't work.

[@vegasspaceprogram6623]

Dolphin dick

[@Kazza_8240]

Title of your sex tape 🤣

[@wug876]

That Evil Hairy Rat is quite clearly just a repurposed squirrel.

[@emmanuelferto3343]

Zoanthrope That’s what I thought!

[@whiterabbit75]

You say squirrel, I say fluffy-tailed rat.

[@kubektunes]

I was thinking a some mole/squirrel offspring freak. I mean, look at them claws.

[@alfiemorrison7741]

Zoanthrope sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

[@TheEvilpossum]

Thought the same thing... w/ the fangs, looks like Scrat.

[@ChadMojito]

Rat expert here, rats actually look like 3:49 when they are in attack/intimidation mode, it's the equivalent of a dog growling kinda. Their teeth move apart from eachother like this so they can inflict deeper, larger wounds.

[@argubertjones9441]

are you a professional rat expert?

[@cithaeron680]

I can confirm that he is, I follow his meme page.

[@harharluke]

Exploding Fish shitposting and senseless drivel watches Ashens. Could we have asked for a better Facebook page owner

[@EpicHysteria]

Why are you a rat expert

[@ChadMojito]

Yes

[@MagicalMysteryTrip]

"I've got a faulty squidger" - ashens 2017

[@EmmaW5]

DAMMIT you beat me to it! xD

[@bencockerill42]

- said the man with erectile disfunction

[@ohmanthatguy2443]

Obnoxious at Best Would you say his love is so soft that you ain't had nothing softer?

[@bencockerill42]

Had to Google that reference, but sure!

[@darrelsam419]

Sounds disturbingly like "fidget spinner"

[@mothcub]

I'm gonna write a fanfic about you and the Poundland bat.

[@baltic8558]

email pls i need it

[@mattycarrier4312]

Same ^

[@jamiewilliamson9829]

I'd wanna read it out of curiosity

[@Denkmaldrubernacht]

I want this

[@gokuuzumaki70]

No thanks.

[@thatchris1626]

"Very high and robotic, we call that Teresa may" Perfect, my Halloween is complete

[@TravisStewart42]

chris lowis "Brexit means Brexit" was pretty spooky.

[@adamcummings20]

All sides of the political spectrum are brought together by a collective hate of Theresa May

[@aidanfirth1581]

Adam even the tories!

[@browngirlinaclownworld2077]

For the first time in my lifetime, I feel like you Brits actually have some rather entertaining characters in politics. Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage, Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn. All of them are terribly disheveled looking though. I wonder what's up with that.

[@zachs5601]

Should have voted Buckethead

[@purpleneons]

"This is cutting out because it's crap, This microphone is the worst thing ever, Bleh, bleh, bleh" *why was it so funny*

[@libertyprime9891]

Ashens spent years studying psychology to then review crap on his sofa

[@pommax]

Gwyn Lord Of Cinder Your point is? He’s living the fucking dream. Graduate with a degree and be a youtube star

[@h_espeliz3347]

Can you blame him? It's almost mandatory to study psychology when reviewing crap on a sofa for 11 bloody years

[@Bready_Player_Bun]

It is literally the best use of a psychology degree.

[@rossfromfriends8468]

Techically when in you are in a psycologists office, he is analyzing a peice of crap on his sofa

[@thomasjenkins7506]

hate to be the serious one, but i'm sure it comes it very handy as he's running his channel. understanding how people think and act can be very useful when trying to manage viewer retention.

[@gwendolynwestwind9764]

That bat looks more like mothman than a bat

[@BigOlSmellyFlashlight]

Gwendolyn Westwind west virginia

[@Silver_wind_1987_]

Gwendolyn Westwind bats don't have that weird bone like structure it's more tissue with bone holding it together. ...with a tiny claw at the end of each wing to collect food...

[@tinysmall9697]

I love it wayyy better now that u pointed that out! I love mothman!

[@AlisonBryen]

@@BigOlSmellyFlashlight Point Pleasant.

[@BigOlSmellyFlashlight]

@@AlisonBryen i do not live near there sadly

[@Scoonga_Doonga]

How's it an evil bat though What crime has this bat committed?

[@acapeIIIa_callilulelo]

Snorting Cocaine through their eyes and turning them into rubies.

[@earo4040]

Was spook

[@Dan89201]

Charm it giver you a spooking

[@solaireofastora7178]

being black, that will get you shot in some places

[@PhaQ2]

Zandig : Like everywhere there is a critical mass of blacks?

[@Battledongus]

That voice changer was actually pretty cool i think! Good value.

[@IvanovIvanAKrutoi]

I kinda would've liked to hear what the voice would sound like if he set all the switches to on.

[@Battledongus]

Same i was hoping for more voice examples. He prob didn't because hes worried about making his videos too long because apprantly crazy people abandon too long videos which ruins it for the rest of us!

[@AtheistOrphan]

“I’ve got a faulty squidger!” He exclaimed to the NHS helpline.

[@Dan89201]

Atheist Orphan have some willy bigger said the nhs staff with a laugh

[@TheFlipsta97]

DEADPOOL No no no. The NHS aren't that useful. Here is how that would go: "just take some paracetamol" or alternatively "yeah... well see... hmm... Well there's nothing we can technically do about it." Seriously, do doctors in our beloved NHS actually do anything?

[@pickleparty247]

If you give them enough time they can be useful. I was on the waiting list to see the NHS Wales ear & throat doctors for a few months and when I saw one I was scheduled for an operation within a month's time. Not too shabby.

[@scruffydarealog2632]

A few months of waiting in america i could see a doctor and get a prescription or a procedure scheduled within the month :O

[@GeorgiawithaG]

scruffy da real OG but then simply going to the doctor would cost $300, prescription costs $1200, procedure costs $5000.

[@bjamiork]

I lost it at "Brexit means Brexit!" Lmfao

[@otakunthevegan4206]

T-Top Deluxe "it's like she's there in the room with you" wow that is terrifying.

[@commerceserverservercommerce]

brexit means breakfast

[@commerceserverservercommerce]

Kamina Bubbles pretty much lmao

[@DylRicho]

@Kamina Bubbles - Right there with America. :D

[@notamuffin]

"Air is in the air"

[@GeorgiawithaG]

Gunshots, violence: I sleep Ashens uploads a new Poundland tat special: REAL SHIT.

[@deadeyecowkillz7580]

Ashens uploads a 1hr special: *ACENDED*

[@MutantGrandpa]

The high pitch sounds like “David firth’s” “salad fingers” character

[@lingaustin2854]

I like...rusty spoons...

[@goodmachines7743]

David Trevino On his meds.

[@AnnoyingAsianWitch]

...they make me feel orgasmic....

[@Wemius61]

@@lingaustin2854 I like it when the red water comes out.

[@imemma7994]

That Theresa May joke though make me laugh so hard 😂

[@wolfyboy]

in a store in norway, i found an axe-stuck-in-head prop, and it was named "scissor" and i don't understand who could mistake a large AXE for a scissor. it's quite amazing, and i SO wanna know how it happend, as i can't think of anything that DOESN'T involve black magic or leprechauns!

[@Mrx2848]

"Weirdly bulbous in the wrong directions" is not a description I ever want to hear about anything.

[@laneatkinson6441]

Kevin Klawitter That's what I was thinking 😂

[@marcusroux3821]

"Nothing is worse than getting glitter on things!" *rubs glittery hands on sofa*

[@alxwlsh]

Died at the sound of the Theressa May Impression

[@mattyfox666]

3:03 "Nooooo... I've got a faulty Squidger" story of my life mate.

[@chrkme]

"I've got a faulty squidger!" Might wanna see a doctor about that, pal

[@abdulmasaiev9024]

8 modes for the voice box, 16 switch combinations. Madness.

[@jamesrodney951]

There are way more than 16 combinations. Try 100s kid

[@abdulmasaiev9024]

@@jamesrodney951 Bro are you drunk. 4 switches, each capable of 2 positions [on/off] -> 2^4 combinations -> exactly 16 switch combinations, like I said 5 years ago. Still, if you insist there's more, go ahead. Write just 17 different ones, it's not many at all.

[@sillie_billie]

All the dislikes are from Theresa May, angered at Stuarts spot on impression...

[@wetlettuce4768]

Also Boris Johnson left a dislike becuase he thought the real Theresa May was in this video

[@TerraMuncher]

The high-pitched voice reminds me of the imp-creature from House of the Dead 2.

[@stickman070791]

I was just thinking the same thing. "Suffer like G did!"

[@TerraMuncher]

Yep, really made me want to play it again...if only I could find a working PC copy these days.

[@Silver_wind_1987_]

TerraMuncher the high pitched sounded like starscream on helium

[@warblenoise]

I hate when my squidger's faulty

[@dicapriodelorean2888]

me too man, I've had to return like 5 squiders due to faultiness

[@childeater7327]

WaffleFive #relatable

[@maxximumb]

You can get pills for that now.

[@kent80082006]

There is a surgical option as well

[@dicapriodelorean2888]

its called a squiderectomy

[@gamophyte]

Intro genuinely scared me. I like to copy the "hello!" And just as I said it I was startled by sudden change.

[@patchsticks]

It's the most wonderful time of the year Until the Christmas one

[@dastumer]

yee

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

da stumer Science!

[@judojamie379]

why not st.patricks day? its a day to get pissed

[@chinchin2234]

Dicey you mom gay!

[@purpleravenstar]

Diceyy Pumpkin spice everyday, leaves on the ground and cold air, bruh.

[@Atlas_Redux]

No "EXTEERRRMINATE"? You sadden me :(

[@jenniferdowell3500]

I want to make more accounts just to like this more times.

[@KirbyMario12345_939]

These holiday specials are the very best. Is "Evil Clever Dog" (cor, who remembers that?) secretly associated with Halloween too?

[@anthonyboodram608]

I remember the "Evil Clever Dog". Since his name is extremely similar to the Evil Hanging Bat, I would not be surprised if he was associated with Halloween in some way.

[@samuelspencer2086]

I’ve been waiting for this all year now roll up Christmas tat special

[@henrik6754]

There is no Big Clive link anywhere.

[@SPM0717]

5:00 Not gonna lie, I thought that was a Halloween themed recorder at first.

[@geoserenity]

i hope big hairy rat becomes a regular

[@geoserenity]

bong the music industry he's -no one bloody cares you pedantic pisssnt

[@zh2motorsports867]

Geo Belmont we a Evil Hairy Rat movie

[@pvfireworks9118]

Stuart, your dry humor is killing me :'-D

[@otakunthevegan4206]

PV Fireworks Rule Britannia and classic dry British humour.

[@Youchubelover9000]

Ah Halloween, the holiday were children walk around neighborhoods and beg for candy they'll probably never eat after a week. My favorite!

[@elviswjr]

I work in a retail store that sells cheap tat like this. Every Halloween we have the same junk including a hollowed out plastic rat. When I started working there three years ago, there was one stuck to the ceiling by the tail right over the seasonal section where the Halloween stuff goes. It's still there to this day, always watching...

[@WildcardRoyale]

11:00 Sounds like a David Firth character.

[@phantomriddleronxbox]

That's the vibe I was getting too haha

[@lingaustin2854]

"Beetles are good at this sort of thing, don't you know."

[@Aliwoof23]

11:00 David Firth?

[@various3394]

That’s what I thought!!

[@GmodPlusWoW]

So the Snake Demon sounds like David Firth? Good to know.

[@mishumydog]

Man, I really love me some SQUIDGERS

[@Yamezzzz]

Tesco were selling these tealights for £2 with Halloween packaging. They were called "SPOOKY TEALIGHTS" and I wondered how an earth this was spooky or even related to Halloween. Then I realised why... The bottom of them were just fucking painted orange.

[@brandon3872]

JamesTavRule Lol, Wilko did the same thing 😂

[@chronovac]

Is "A faulty Squidger" a euphemism for erectile dysfunction

[@dicapriodelorean2888]

"hey doc i got problems there" "what do you mean" "my squiders faulty' "i see..."

[@MrDrifterNL]

"not going to unsee that for a while"... what has been seen cannot be unseen.

[@lemurjim]

Bloody hell... are we still doing these?

[@ancilodon]

lemurjim As long as there's a pound or dollar store selling tat these MUST be done

[@darrelsam419]

The nightmare never ends

[@johnsorrow1987]

I look foward to these...which shows you i have no life whatsoever.

[@aidanjameson2521]

John Sorrow I don't think anyone here does.

[@johnsorrow1987]

Aidan Reiling...........damn.XD

[@Willotaku9000]

I've literally been waiting all year for this special and it did not disappoint. :D

[@fintandavies7199]

"high pitch and robotic, ah, thats what we call Theresa May" *DABS FURIOUSLY*

[@mrendwa7149]

The High Pitch voice sounds like something out of a David Firth animation.

[@matevzkriznik701]

Stuart uploaded a video, now my night shift life has sense!

[@dannybrezelhorner2715]

3:29 "Oh no! It dosent work!" Got an Xbox one ad directly after that. It's a sign.

[@fuzzybobbles]

Send voice changer thing to Big Clive.

[@CarrotConsumer]

Agreed. That needs taken apart.

[@mogmason6920]

Fuzzy Electronics this needs to happen

[@spicy110]

Fuzzy Electronics yes!! 100% with that one

[@tasmedic]

IFuzzy Electronics It's only a battery, a microphone, a chip on board, some switches, an audio amp, and a speaker. Not worth of "The Clive"

[@87idk]

the day ashens posts the Halloween special is the day I live for

[@totallyaniceguy7695]

The Evil Bat looks like a half decent Mothman.

[@noahm.9091]

I love this channel It’s content is quality and humorous! And I just love that intro Ashens, keep up the great videos!

[@eggsamillion]

I always look forward to Stuart's Holiday Specials!

[@AmusementLabs]

That intro was the spoopiest thing I've seen this Halloween season.

[@MazeFrame]

You should totaly send the voice-thing to Clive, just for the giggles.

[@thewormo4353]

This is the first Ashens' Halloween special I've been subscribed to watch when it happened lol

[@jommisalami]

evil hairy rat sounds like it could be a nickname for me, my dog or anyone else in my family tbh.

[@mspenrice]

A is amplify, B is robot, C is one level of pitch reduction (switch between pitch up/pitch down?), D is a different level (small vs large pitch change? or just a little additional reduction?), seems to be the pattern.

[@RockyRailroadProductions_B0SS]

11:38 Ashens for the 2018 Captain Scarlet reboot

[@katkiss17]

Since sunday i have been binging ashens videos so far i've watched 30 videos. Great thing about being sick with covid.

[@Luna-gb4gu]

ashens reviews are my favorite anime

[@germanolivares4772]

Stuart is my waifu.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Overplayed.

[@Luna-gb4gu]

TsukiKageTora you don't get a sticker then

[@TsukiKageTora]

can't give a sticker to someone online :P Still doesn't help the fact that you are participating in the downfall of a well-liked joke. People are beginning to hate then and the people who use them because it is used daily by thousands. Again: it's like the Markiplier "Where's the Blacksmith?" from a video a few years back and how almost every idiot follower commented "Where's the Blacksmith" on every video of his (multiple times) for a year until those vulture idiot fans sucked it dry.

[@Luna-gb4gu]

TsukiKageTora why the triggered paragraph

[@chasereed1971]

Every Halloween for the past several years or so I get excited about the thought of the Silver Scull appearing on KZbin once again... it looks like I’ll have to wait once again until next year; possibly.

[@onedeadsaint]

totally agree with you about glitter. fucking hate that shit.

[@Jivetalkin13]

onedeadsaint Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts.

[@godslaughter]

The "mutant fork" got me so hard that I nearly woke up my entire block with my laughing. It's 2 AM for god's sake

[@jenko109]

I'm a Poundland manager and I want to help you with these! Should you need any help that is. Fan of yours for a few years, keep up the good work

[@JohnSTF72]

Glitter...the bane of Ashens and brown sofas everywhere. Happy Halloween you Grumpy Onion.

[@DataDrain02]

Honestly, that "Evil Hanging Bat" reminds me more of the Mothman than it does a bat....

[@NobodyWhatsoever]

Stuart, glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Once it's in your carpet, you never get rid of it.

[@magic666z]

So, daleks are using this voice changer xD

[@LovableAmy]

Merlin ORKO I was waiting for him to say exterminate when I heard the Dalek voice or what sound like a Dalek.

[@5roundsrapid263]

10:45 sounds like a Cyberman.

[@richardenrooijen]

Amy Koneko same here! Missed opportunity!

[@robertkilbourne323]

That voice box thingy has possibilities for modding or circuit bending. The last voice on the list was a pretty good Dalek voice.

[@Baronofevil]

Is Evil Hairy Rat a cohort of Evil Clever Dog?

[@AirknightTails]

Baronofevil Along with Evil Hanging Bay

[@BigOlSmellyFlashlight]

Baronofevil yes, the pet of Chef Excellence

[@jentzi23]

The squiggy looks excited, like "Yaaaaay, my best friend!" and then it wants a hug.

[@littleman8674469]

That one voice almost sounded like a dalek lol

[@5roundsrapid263]

Christian Turner Their voices are done with a similar box. This thing would be great for a Doctor Who convention!

[@lukecarrigan6]

Nothing will be funnier than you're Halloween special last year. This year everyone is just waiting for November 1st so Xmas can begin.

[@MrBigStuff]

11:00 sounds like the Anne-Droid from Doctor Who

[@ProblmSolvd]

The high pitch on that voice manipulator was actually half decent, it reminded me of various automaton voices in the Fallout universe. 8/10 for that single function.

[@ReverendTed]

Did I miss the link to the Nosulus Rift teardown?

[@artinyyk]

Haven't heard a Captain Scarlet reference in years. Now I remember why I subscribed.

[@oaooaoipip2238]

Pound Land sounds like a bad Porno from the 90's

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

oåooåo ipip I never noticed that before. I guess our equivalent, Dollarama sounds like a black bank heist movie from the 90's.

[@ZacHawkins42]

Tommy Deonauth's Archives Dolemite!

[@fryelover]

WHY DID YOU BRING IT UP AHHH

[@oversizedsweatsdress4164]

oåooåo ipip American?

[@schregen]

Pound is the currency in the UK!

[@AvoidanceProtocol]

Thanks Ashens, I'm not going to unsee that for a while! :D

[@gametrench1255]

*This is What i Subscribed For*

[@insertjokehere]

Oh yes, the voice changed bit is amazing. "NICE!" "Hello. It's time for Halloween, with LOW-PITCH voice." 11:03 He sounds like Jonathan Ablebody from LEGOLAND PC from 1999 14:03 He sounds like a diddy from Diddy TV

[@josephwodarczyk977]

I sent an ex a glitter bomb a while ago and the website suggested using honey to remove glitter. Never tested it but I thought it might help somewhat.

[@willovacc_1847]

I kinda wish all this tat would talk back to him to see his reaction.

[@joemck85]

Replacing the mic on the voice changer should be pretty easy. Lop the wire in two going to the mic, and same for a less cruddy mic. Both will have 2 wires inside that need to be spliced together to connect it up again. The splices should be soldered but just taping them instead works fine short term. And if you want to see if there's any other worthwhile modes, you can try them exhaustively: OFF OFF OFF OFF; OFF OFF OFF ON; OFF OFF ON OFF; OFF OFF ON ON; OFF ON OFF OFF, etc. There will be 16 combinations total, so with 8 on the package there should be 8 undocumented modes, most of which are probably undocumented for a reason.

[@flareonapocalypse1320]

I have an oddly shaped bottle collection. That poison bottle at the end seemed like a good deal. Wouldn't mind displaying that on my shelf.

[@carlz0r]

It didn't appear in the endcard for me, but I found the Big Clive video he's talking about here kzbin.info/www/bejne/i5Tcnp5mppxjl7M so there it is if anyone else needs the link.

[@ChristopherSobieniak]

Thanks.

[@kdgmr97]

I love the Captain Scarlet reference with the mysterons. Captain Scarlett is an awesome TV show

[@smilingboss77]

is it just me or do those squishy stretchy toys always smell oddly nice, like fruity pebbles or something?

[@earo4040]

Yes when I'm high out of my mind

[@ChristianSpliess]

It's the most wonderful time of the year when Ashens is doing a Halloween-Cheer!

[@Chalky.]

That glittery candle will be my new alibi for being covered in strip club glitter.

[@berenbuchanan]

woo ive been waitin for this for a whole 2 years

[@Chalky.]

11:00 We all know you've actually sent out the Silver Skull to kidnap Warwick Davis to force him to speak on your videos.

[@ColdFinger]

11:10 sounds like something right out of a David Firth animation.

[@Fazeof1p]

Ah, nothing says glittery halloween sink plunger like Final Fantasy victory music. Truly this is halloween :)

[@AdelTheKid]

Somehow the sofa has every single type of scratch, burn, rip but still no cumstain. Good job!