Ashens Easter Special 2018

[@SomeOrangeCat]

And when this life is done, instead of St Peter, we will be greeted by Ashens' giant hands. We will judged, and either end up on the good shelf or burned.

[@guerillagrueplays6301]

I would join this religion. I call the spot next to whatever He Man figure is on the shelf at any given time.

[@viktorvikinikfiki8607]

*good shelf* The shelf of interesting items , you uncultured swine.

[@andymadden8183]

"We will judged".

[@judojamie379]

we are all currently in the draw of purgatory

[@beabea5985]

@@andymadden8183 will lay egg

[@5705HU]

*Official Petition* to make Tesco change their slogan to *"That Big Supermarket Wot Does Sell the Stuff"*

[@skootergirl22]

Fazers "every little does not help"

[@simontay4851]

Change it to "Every little helps... Us".

[@andymadden8183]

Every little helps *us get richer*

[@cat21860]

I have no beak, but I must cluck.

[@cwhkim]

An excellent reference.

[@lestatcomedante3907]

Nice one!

[@cat21860]

Lestat Comédantè thank you

[@bunnydefunct]

Let me tell you, that sticky material stuff is a bastard. Here in the US there was a fad for sticky hands and other miscellaneous-shaped sticky things, and they were often sold in quarter vending machines for kids. My family ended up getting a rather big rat-shaped one, and my dad flung it by its tail, sticking it to the ceiling. My parents divorced not long after that. But the oily residue stuck around!

[@subterraneanfermentation8513]

Are you sure that was not a genuine rat

[@chronospammer2073]

​​@@subterraneanfermentation8513Do people normally fling genuine rats at the ceiling where you live

[@radiocaster2k]

​@@chronospammer2073 yes

[@charliehamnett5880]

Is it bad I look forward to holidays because of Ashens specials more than the holidays themselves.

[@MadameTeqi]

Charlie Hamnett nah mate welcome to adulthood holidays

[@darkforestzombie218]

No

[@Caldella]

It's not Easter until Ashens is forced to taste-test a chick/rabbit that may or may not be actually made out of food.

[@naranciaisbestboi125]

*something edible

[@Knights_of_the_Nine]

They’re almost certainly made out of food. That’s the scary part.

[@meursault7030]

People's Nans in the pound shop observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh that's cute, I bet our little Franny-poo will like that. Shall we get it? Yeeeaah let's get it. Why not, eh? It's only a pound!" Stuart observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh this reminds me of the darkest fucking collection of words and concepts ever committed to print by man or otherwise. Might make a half decent segment of a youtube video. Shall I chuck it in the trolley with the other shite? Why not, eh? Nothing matters in the slightest."

[@ebolachan3451]

"you could probably destroy the houses of parliment with enough of these" Stuart was then banned from the UK

[@IanC14]

Ebola Chan if someone did that they'd be a national hero

[@simontay4851]

Stuart, not Stewart.

[@ebolachan3451]

ah, I've got egg on me face

[@athenasrevenge93]

Ebola Chan (canned laughter)

[@PunakiviAddikti]

Yeah, pretty sure he's on a government watchlist now.

[@jackfleet6346]

It's only just struck me, at how funny the whole "sad onion" thing actually is, and ashens said it so naturally in this video, that i have in fact broken into hysterics and passed away.

[@UnOc2]

Those squishy chicks and whatnot were really helpful to me several years ago when my mental disabilities started surfacing. The squishiness was very comforting and squeezing them was very cathartic.

[@mitchlmitten5874]

The sheer variety of sad onions discovered on this channel never ceases to surprise me

[@FatalityMasterHGR]

"I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" is literally the best sci-fi story ever.

[@kirasioux0408]

This ain’t a scene, it’s a god damned spoon race.

[@GameHammerCG]

“I’m going to try a bit of the mushy blue stuff” *shockingly audible crunch* I did not expect that...

[@LazerLord10]

At the end I thought you were going to show us the lord and savior *THE GOOSE* .

[@bilbo_gamers6417]

No, he locked it in a leaded trunk and chained it to the bottom of a very deep lake a long time ago.

[@shards-of-glass-man]

If you want to see THE GOOSE, it's ruling over his kitchen.

[@woolenhat5796]

Bilbo_Gamers no he didnt its in his kitchen. Lol

[@sasaki8765]

I think you mean the GROOSE. HE IS LOOSE.

[@maryannmariano4230]

Read it in Ashens voice

[@DragonNexus]

I swear Ashens is the only reason I look forward to any holiday

[@JustinY.]

You should buy your couch a gift this easter considering what it's been through

[@Morgan02]

Justin Y. The one place I didn't expect to see you

[@thisisabadchannel.stopsubs2952]

The one Justin Y comment that has the least likes

[@ReddestOne24]

You're cool 😎

[@KurisuYamato]

For those curious in the UK, "Dolgen corp" is the American company that owns "Dollar General" stores, a chain that, as the name suggests, would be similar to Poundland / Poundworld. I know they have been brought up before on this channel but clarification I felt would be nice. Also, that company HQ is in the same state as me, so.. yeah... I knew that bloody package looked too American!

[@bt1234567892010]

from what I understand, Poundland/world is more akin to the American Dollar Trees. Dollar Generals don't have everything for $1, highest I've ever seen something in there is $50. Otherwise, TIL about Dolgen Corp

[@ChristopherSobieniak]

Dollar General is a discount store, but unlike Poundland or Dollar Tree, they do sell stuff that cost over a dollar, so their selection tends to be a bit more broader and has some familiar name brands sold regularly. They sometimes get some exclusives now and then like the time they had the Pac-Man plug 'n play I picked up a few years back.

[@MultiDarkZen]

Ashen's is the only reason I even remember to celebrate Easter.

[@darkfent]

You missed the date by uploading on a tuesday...otherwise it would be ashens wednesday

[@TsunogaiDanshaku]

anythingorz *click* PPPHBT

[@brianoconnell6459]

That's not Easter straw, that's a tribble, and you just killed it, you evil man you!

[@guerillagrueplays6301]

Feh. I'm sure there's plenty more where that one came from.

[@OnlyEpicEmber]

Ashens: Reviewing food that probably hasn't been on sale for years

[@schadenfreudebuddha]

how else will we know whether we should have bought it?

[@TheHutchy01]

Stu has eaten a scarily large amount of food from before the moon landing.

[@Tofticus]

Doctor: "I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid you have a herniated egg splat. There is no cure."

[@lostgirlneversaydie5907]

I lost it at “throw the egg on a window!...how bout no” he just sounds so unimpressed 😂 Edit: “I’ve given the egg splat a hernia!” is my new favourite Ashens quote ever

[@threeglassjars6051]

Out of date by 4 years. This is the ashens I know

[@EddieHawkinsII]

“It’s going to be difficult to come in via the bottom...” Words uttered on many a wedding night...

[@Verlisify]

Did that laugh box have a gunshot? Thats a bit intense...

[@sammyj.07]

Lmao I have one of those. There is also a bomb sound.

[@darkforestzombie218]

No

[@tsukiji_wasabi3722]

i have no beak... and i must cheep...

[@Knights_of_the_Nine]

I hop. And when I hop, I never get off the ground.

[@chataclysm2112]

tsukiji_wasabi cheeeeeep cheep cheep cheeeeeep.

[@nathanbarnes6869]

I have no bill, and I must trill...

[@seiyuokamihimura5082]

@@nathanbarnes6869 bills for thrills maybe?

[@NashvilleSkyline1969]

I’m watching this at 6:59 am with a beautiful sunrise coming through my window

[@mikerichardson4772]

A man throws Toyah Willcox's old merkin to the back of his sofa and films himself saying the word Cadbury won't. NICE!

[@Moonbeam143]

That poor couch.

[@ZeSnark]

It's a SOFA

[@__elly__]

Can someone explain the difference?!🤔

[@fyrentenimar]

A sofa is something you're not supposed to lay on, it's meant only for sitting (also, from what I read, it's meant to be slightly less comfortable).

[@puddycat2325]

Elly Medrano a sofa is correct English and a couch is American.

[@araigumaxo3907]

It's been through so much

[@Chalky.]

This reminds me of my youth having a big bag of grass before hoping to get some chicks to flash me.

[@maxscardanelli6185]

Chalky 😂😂😂

[@tncorgi92]

The startled chick looks like he's just seen the Grass Masks, and realizes there's nowhere to run.

[@kaizerwave5120]

You never disappoint in eating expired garbage

[@codygranrud6212]

My 3yr old HAS to watch "ashens" every night at bed... luckily, I've got a new one he'll love!

[@Zulf85]

Cody Granrud this series isn't really appropriate for a three year-old imo...better than that Spiderman and Elsa though tat I guess

[@xxx789ist]

A 3yr old should not really watch it as there is a bit of swear

[@maroyo3805]

_An excellent time honored tradition._

[@hamishthepolarbear614]

Very very very sadly, I got excited when the fortune telling fish was found. I even said "aw yes" out loud. Kill me, it is the only kind thing to do.

[@re7se]

That couch never gets old

[@kawaiilombax]

Lol I remember when I used to watch Ashens after stressing about exams and he’d some how calm me that much I’d fall asleep 😂😂😂😂 First time in years I’ve watched him again

[@LaureneZzi]

Seeing this in my notifications has literally made my day

[@LaureneZzi]

...and you didn't disappoint!

[@captainpunk6725]

Your holiday tat suffering gives me great joy. Thank you for your sacrifice dr. Ashens!

[@lunad27]

And here I was rewatching the past specals to prepare for this one. Highlight of my holiday as always!

[@SpudGun146]

YESSSSS FATHER DROWN ME IN UR EASTER SPECIAL GOODNESS , the rebirth of ur most recent upload list fills me with sweet delight. Thankyou

[@steelscooter]

You created your very own Easter land fill diorama 🤗

[@nathanbarnes6869]

I saw the egg and spoon race kit in a cheap store here, complete with fake eggs. Was going to send it through to you guys! Nice to see it reviewed here.

[@AnkoTime]

The true star of Ashens channel returns. The Sound Machine.

[@novaiscool1]

The best joke ever got off a laffy taffy wrapper was " What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheel chair!"

[@IanC14]

Thedoctor133 okay that made me laugh

[@user-74652]

I love having dark jokes on a children's product. Especially since, from what I've read, that joke would have probably been sent in by a child.

[@omgfandomfan]

Thedoctor133 hahaha okay everyone has seen it on the internet

[@mj3k3]

Loving the early guest appearance from the Lorax! Huge fan here c:

[@SuperSlynova]

No lie my favorite part about your reviews is when you take that deep breathe after tasting anything unpleasant.

[@Wemius61]

...followed by, "Oh."

[@arrowhead5217]

I love the reference to I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Great little story.

[@DarthVitrial]

Aw, I actually really like those rubbery squidgy chicks. They're good tactile things to fidget with. until you break them by stretching them too much.

[@alfje5492]

You know you've watched too many Ashens Easter/Xmas Specials when you've heard every cracker joke at least 3 times.

[@camgood2437]

I've been addicted to your channel for the past few weeks (and I'm glad that so much content has been created.. Since the dawn of KZbin lol). You actually have the exact same sense of humor and general tone as one of my closest childhood friends (even though he's American lol). We were always obsessed with Monty Python back then, though, so I guess you both have had similar comedic influences. Thanks for all the great videos!!!! Happy Easter!!!

[@littlesquid5116]

Literally woke up this morning thinking "I hope Ashens uploads a 20 minute video today." BEST. DAY. EVER.

[@vissova]

I love moving my mouse across the timeline on the bottom of the video and seeing his couch in the preview steadily become completely obscured by mountains of trash.

[@SwingYourSinners]

He rose on the third day to allow a day for us to buy cheap trash made in China and candy to increase our obesity thank you Jesus

[@naranciaisbestboi125]

And then a rabbit laid eggs and hid them for all the little kids to find. Praise Jesus!

[@darkforestzombie218]

Jesus_isn't_real.

[@OnlyEpicEmber]

You should open an art gallery for tat

[@jakedavies1393]

tat modern

[@eeresponsible]

Jake Davies: I just wanted you to know you're my hero.

[@FiorinaArtworks]

a Tatropolian Museum would be nice indeed.

[@jadeyxboox]

Jake Davies was going to say the same thing. Damnit.

[@SaidHead2]

I would totally go to that.

[@notinuse60]

"that's Spanish for look out these are shite" I spat my Pepsi everywhere lmao 🤣🤣🤣

[@Kerma7]

I got one of those "Egg Splat" things years ago at an exhibition near my old house. I actually loved it. There were multiple ones, one was a tomato, one was an egg, and I think one was like some sort of weird zombie where its skeleton would be little bone pieces inside. If you throw it really hard against a wall it never breaks and makes a satisfying splat noise and looks pretty rad. Too bad it always left marks on the wall and I was too scared of it breaking

[@CosyMatt]

It’s halloween 2021 and I’m watching an Ashens Easter Special from 3 years ago what is happening to my brain.

[@DeAthWaGer]

Harlan Ellison approves of this horrorshow.

[@Krowphay]

I really love these holiday tat specials. Thank you, ashens!

[@BillyF2LJeffs]

Finally some classic ashens that isn't a blind egg/bag or a figurine.

[@emerson8002]

I used to be fascinated with those fuzzy chick things as a little kid. I'd always get them every Easter

[@davidbrown8303]

I love you're videos it makes me feel good having someone with a sense of humor. Most people are a stick in the mud.

[@MarcomixToons]

I've always meant to ask in regards to those plastic fortune-telling fish things: what in the world do they mean with one of the results being "false"? The reading is false? The person is false? I genuinely don't have any idea.

[@sfighter0085]

A very Happy Easter to you. Kinda lazy for "Poundland" to re-purpose "Christmas Crackers" into "Easter Crackers", but I will say at least the first ones had more Easter related stuff then the other pack. Wouldn't surprise me if there existed "Halloween Crackers" or "Thanksgiving Crackers". Hell, I'd be more shocked if they made Arbor Day Crackers. Fun Special.

[@boredcreations8779]

I came to hear him say "Easter chick" 50 thousand times.

[@internet__explorer]

Happy Easter 2009!

[@ChaseMC215]

Internet Explorer It's 2018, not 2009

[@evanpalombella3161]

MC Chase No shit Sherlock

[@Jesus-H.-Christ]

Oh good Dad, you really are slow, no wonder I switched to Chrome

[@dustycrustyhomelessman1648]

MC Chase it's 20018 as I type this, need to ascend soon and visiting ashen's channel before I return to the 105th dimension

[@nickp1999]

@MC Chase looks like you're the only slow one here mate

[@CelebWrestling1]

We’ll call him dwerp 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 made me laugh so hard

[@iteachvader]

This is the earliest I've made it to an Ashens video. 22 minutes late.

[@thegreatrespectedsupremele1253]

Ever since discovering Ashens I have been very grateful to live near a Poundland

[@RavenWitchShade]

Nicely timed upload, I wonder what Poundland et all are 'blessing' us with this Easter?

[@BloodrealmX]

"Crappy spinning top?!" HEY! The little spinning tops from Christmas Crackers actually work really well!

[@mirandadalgetty6441]

It’s my birthday! Yay new ashens special as a gift!

[@athenasrevenge93]

Miranda Dalgetty Aw, happy belated birthday!

[@maskedskull_iv]

Oh my god, that things crashing down sound effect just reminds me so much of Constructor.

[@bobbynick5358]

When you wack that light up chick the only thing I thought was that song "Sandstorm" by Darude being played while it was lighten up. I remember eating this tube of jelly goo "candy" at the dollar store as a kid... it wasn't good, it was just artificial flavor of this jelly blue syrup in a tube. and I don't think they make them any more and that's a good thing.

[@gustavgnoettgen]

The amount of waste from this stuff is amazing.

[@MagnaRyuuDesigns]

I have the urge to find those light up chicks here in the US just to cannibalize the lights for other projects

[@athenathegreatandpowerful6365]

Dollar Tree has them

[@cubialpha]

i can’t even tell you how strangely satisfying it was watching you stretch and squish that chick amoeba lol i loved that

[@agoraphobicsquirrel8607]

You have to share what kind of vacuum you recommend.

[@Popecornclock]

Huh. I live in Goodlettsville, TN. I apologize for the tat.

[@francise.eichleriii4325]

TB8S where is that in regards to murfreesboro..i've watched this guff for years.

[@ChristopherSobieniak]

Dollar General pretty much represents those southern values too much!

[@Popecornclock]

Francis E. Eichler III I lived in Murfreesboro for close to 10 years. It’s not often I hear someone on here mention it. Goodlettsville is North Nashville. I’m about 15 minutes from downtown Nash. It’s an hour from the Boro.

[@athenathegreatandpowerful6365]

You mean the Mother Lode? No apology desired or required.

[@snesguy9176]

Ayyy. I just got back from the dollar tree around the corner. I'll eat my poor quality chocolate bunny while I watch the video then.

[@naranciaisbestboi125]

Don't get sick from how cheap it is.

[@alberttetley]

Stuart ashens your easter special is the highlight of my Easter

[@proven22x52]

because of ashens I will never eat foamy food, thanks you saved my life

[@RS250Squid]

*wakes up* "Yay, time for coffee and a hard productive day of studying". "Oh, Stuart's released the easter special! There goes that plan then!" :-)

[@Phox-in-a-Box]

2012 Easter Special was still the best one.

[@chi-chi1237]

cheap donald trump wig, bloody brilliant

[@SailorMaxie]

14:35 “Check out my new tat” has a dual meaning in this scenario.

[@jonathanm877]

I want that magical sound effect contraption! :)

[@noraunhappy]

Eating something that went off 2-3 years ago? There’s the Ashens I know. Also can I just say, how much chemicals has to be in something for it be an Easter candy that doesn’t go off until December?

[@nekomasteryoutube3232]

As usual with pound shop tat, I can find that stuff in my local Dollarama here in ontario, canada. I swear its like Pound land and Dollarama get stock from the same suppliers.

[@camgood2437]

It's a tribble! Didn't they make some kind of sound like the one you made? I can't quite remember lol..

[@grandviceroyoftheempire]

That egg was made here in Tennessee? Weird.

[@grumpyoldwizard]

Wow, 1.3 million subs! Congratulations, Sir. Well done.

[@SimderZ]

I was looking forward to this... awesome britishness, makes me proud 🇬🇧

[@nicolasbarry9252]

Ashens, why on earth are you uploading this at 2 am? But the again, this is enough to keep me going, with this damn insomnia I’m having!

[@catbeweird]

PSA: Easter is on April first this year. That means you can do a few funny pranks to unsuspecting egg hunters! (young and old!) My favorite is filling the eggs with dental floss, gluing the eggs shut, or spiking the candy inside with rat poison!

[@ZacHawkins42]

catbeweird Let's not forget the classic fresh dog mess egg trick!

[@OdaSwifteye]

I prefer to go to church dressed as Jesus christ only to take off my robe and declare myself as the anti christ. It's a hoot. Unrelated note. Deacons are really fond of Beretta Nanos.

[@vengeance1701]

I have the same Sound Machine. At a Christmas party, nobody wanted it, preferring booze instead. I ended up with the Sound Machine and I still use it. I was also the one who bought it originally.

[@aircraft94]

Oh Jesus the silence after he threw the egg. I’m dead.