Ashley's Big Lesbian Break Up: A Conversation w/

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

couldn't watch this, too sad

[@ashgavs]

i love you bruh

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Hi Alayna Are you still in touch with Breanna and/or Willow?

[@mateoguzman9350]

What is grief, if not love preserving?

[@daxmonkeyfeet2574]

I love you guys together you're hilarious I want more..subscribed to you both 💗

[@zararobnett8284]

😂

[@onenipwonder]

how does adam and eve not sponsor you yet??? you’re literally perfect for them 😂

[@gabriellasplanner5667]

Probably from the amount of times she’s said she prefers fingers 😂😂 (I’m only joking)

[@firestickkoala1371]

@@Atalinay 🤣🤣🤣

[@beatricefox937]

I was literally thinking that

[@SaraMcDonalds]

KEYWORD ADAM & EVE NOT EVE & ASHLEY SELF EXPLANATORY

[@natandyeti]

Once just before a breakup I confided in a friend and I said "I would never find someone as good as them" and my friend said "They aren't the best you'll ever have, they're just the new standard"

[@samanthamerritt1718]

Surprised there wasn’t several chaotic “ZOOM”s at the beginning

[@smileitsgoodforyou10]

Growth! 😂

[@ruemakesit]

Can confirm I was originally a joy baby but I have been LOVING the podcast. As a baby queer myself it has been so hilarious and informative at the same time. It's a shame we live on opposite sides of the country..Keep the videos cummin' 😉❤

[@jehoqz]

Congrats me too to everything you just said! I'm Canadian so finding these 2 10/10 would recommend lol

[@idibidi3724]

SAME except its the other side of the world in my case.😅😭

[@briannenurse4640]

I actually followed you before I followed Alayna. You were the one who introduced me to her.

[@ashgavs]

ALAYNA I DID IT!!!

[@dianeaishamonday9125]

@@ashgavs eyyyyy 😎

[@laurenbeavers6811]

Same! 😊

[@нрп-ш8х]

same

[@deklein6444]

Sameee

[@honeyclark3595]

"Even the worst people don't die alone" 😂 That really cheared me up as I am someone who's super anxious of staying single forever 😂

[@silverstorm06]

It's comforting to know that being 33 and just getting into the lesbian scene, that I'm not going to just be too old.

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

For shame, I didn’t come out until I was 38 and had no trouble. 33 is young.

[@DelphineTheWorstBladeEver]

Old?? You need to stop listening to society and perverted men.

[@Arelath]

Same for me. In my early 30s, discovering myself now.

[@apersonwiththoughts]

I feel like 33 is peak coming out age honestly. I’m a 33 year old woman and two of my 33 year old friends who are women are exploring it, and I think about it too. We’re more aware of ourselves and the world. “The world” meaning men and how much so many of them blow. 😉

[@humanhuman9933]

You should make her a permanent or semi-permanent host of the podcast

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

I volunteer I volunteer take me back

[@ashgavs]

Okay. Come back!

[@alma7382]

Now they have a podcast togetherrr

[@thatpiscesgal]

I could count on one hand how many people actually make me laugh out loud, and Ashley is definitely one of them 🥰

[@ashgavs]

We gotta get you to some live comedy!

[@thatpiscesgal]

@@ashgavs I meaaan if you’re down to take me Ashley 😉

[@KA-bv1wc]

Whoever edited this deserves an award hahaha! Oh my god, perfection. Chefs kiss.

[@ashgavs]

Alex! He’s amazing!

[@jenparkerdavis]

Lol sorry about the purgatory my b But yeah killed it good work pal

[@daxmonkeyfeet2574]

Shout out to you Jen ! Still thinkin about you..EVERYDAY . You guys seem to be very close and healthy too so i believe that you guys will figure it out and if you're meant to be together you will be .

[@CrazyCupCake991]

“And inevitably i meet people that are better suited for me, because i am a better version of myself” DAMN this hit like a BRICK. Preach Ashley, thanks for this truthbomb reminder❤️ (btw not that i went through a breakup or anything but still super valuable information in any stage of life haha)

[@NE8675309]

20:55 I needed to hear that! Sometimes to me, being gay feels like a double-edged sword in the regard of time, because as a late-blooming baby gay (27), I feel so angry that I wasted my youth, completely terrified to acknowledge what should've been obvious (so it's as if I'm going through adult puberty which results in regret), but on the other side of the coin, my life is no longer bound by the strict confines that I used to feel trapped by.

[@bripk9598]

Lol I feel that. I got outted at 26 to my ENTIRE family and was (and still am) in a very loving long-term relationship with a man. (We are both bi) It feels like that was an experience I had written off, like I'll never get to have it, and now I'm forcibly out... and still can't have it lol.

[@briesullivan6149]

Ashley and Alayna- I'm sorry that both of you are in post break up "glop". My sister uses that term for big transitions for the part when you're in the cocoon and being deconstructed into DNA soup before reforming and re-emerging as your healed more whole self. It doesn't feel great and it can be really disorientating. Sending big love to both of you and trust the process. I've really had some experiences of holding such deep pain in those moments, but also feeling like my heart broke open and kindness and compassion and love came rushing in from family and friends that made my life so much richer and holding deep gratitude and joy for those incredible connections and for people really supporting me in those moments. I hope you each experience some of that tenderness while you heal and reconnect and realign with your selves. ♥️

[@wendykidd5637]

Omg, so well said, I'm in the same life phase here

[@irradiated_woman8016]

Damn.

[@DungeonMistressC]

Perfect term.

[@briesullivan6149]

@@wendykidd5637 sending you positive healing thoughts during your "glop" phase too!

[@crazyhusky8646]

I do watch alyna's videos ,but i feel more like a ✨GAVIN'S GIRL✨ than a JOY BABY ,so Ashley we exist too in ur subscriber base not just joy babies,we need recognition too!

[@okiegirlsrock5103]

I love your Groot icon..and how about Gavin's Bitches....haha. did you happen to see Ashley's very first podcast it was about when she hooked up with someone in the witnessed protection it's on KZbin and you have got to see it I laughed myself silly. It's so funny.

[@crazyhusky8646]

@@okiegirlsrock5103 i did see that episode...infact all her episodes....and obviously they r all cool

[@user-jn2tj3di6f]

I blush every time that ash calls us “little bitches”

[@jazzyroly]

Genuinely surprised you’re not doing sex toy sponsorships on here or the pod 💀 you have the perfect target audience and should pitch them

[@ashgavs]

I will never stop saying that I’m the most ignored (by industry) comedian on the planet. Patreon.com/WHGS

[@_gremlinboy]

You two talking about toxic codependent relationships is somehow the realest way I've heard anyone describe it, I'm sure a lot of that is due to my personal experience being similar to y'alls but it was the first time I've heard someone describe it and went "oh man I did that" in a really concrete way. It's good to have it laid out for you like that

[@AmyNaylorMusic]

Alternative perspective on long distance in response to your guys' "there must be an end goal" comment, in case other long distance folks are panicking 😝 I'm in a happy long term, long distance, polyamorous relationship that has survived a year and a half separation due to covid. When I realised I didn't want to move over there to be with them permanently, I grieved for a long time about what could have been, and I thought we had to break up. But now... after lots of communication and figuring stuff out, I love what our relationship looks like. People are taught that the narrative of relationships is: get together, work towards a life together that looks just like every other couple, move in, get married, have kids, blah blah. But actually, whatever feels good for you (both/all of you), is good. Make plans to see each other, make it sustainable, and find ways that you can support each other even from far away. It can work. Promise!

[@maximumride427]

Thank you for having this conversation. I just paused this video and had the most painful but empowering phone call with my recent ex in which i cancelled our plans for the weekend and with all the kindness I could muster explained that regardless of how much we love each other I need to set and respect my own boundaries. Being gay is fuckin gay dude.

[@krystalynkirschner9861]

I love being an exception! After a few months of dating I was ready to break up after taking a trip with my girlfriend. 6 years later, we are married with fur babies. I realized in therapy that I was struggling to accept the love from her because I was so used to being in toxic situations that a healthy one just didn’t “fee right.” I’m so glad I didn’t let let my past traumas push this amazing woman out of my life.

[@realdirtbagOG]

Revisiting these older videos and realizing I am so grateful for these collabs. I started as a Joy baby but now I am fully hooked on WHGS and Chosen Family! I relate so hard to Ashley and discovering your content has been so meaningful to me ❤

[@Jenny_796]

can't believe i've just left comment on Alayna's video about how helpful is was, and now you are saying things that apply to me even more. thank you!

[@melindamcdaniel2479]

Yes! (Regarding exiting a healthy relationship vs a toxic relationship!)

[@aquariusaunty]

I really enjoyed this video! If you had more videos like these where you are a big lesbian sister giving us baby gays advice that would be great!

[@carmelr5504]

I use a journal like Ashley too, just get everything out so it stops living in my head then I don't have to go back to it, have been doing it since I was like 12 😅

[@nash0089]

As a bi guy, I've really been enjoying your content lately. Not only are you fucking hilarious, but you give great relationship advice. I haven't been in any relationship in over 5 years but still. Thank you for the uploads

[@Katia.t.t]

I'm not even 20 seconds in and I love the editing already, big ups to the editor

[@jess.mp3]

This is my comfort video lol. I come back to it every few months when I'm feeling the Big Sad over my first gay heartbreak. Idk this video is so empowering so thank u

[@bitchesdemise89]

I really wish this amazing person would perform in Canada! Ashley is amazing 🥰🥰

[@NatureAmbiances]

Recognizing toxic fear thought and how that is not how you would speak to a friend or how a friend would speak to you is GOLD, Ashley!!

[@tillyrose2632]

It actually makes me sick that most women, are attracted to their age as they age, but most men are still attracted to basically 19-20 year old kids, when they're like 40-50 years old, sometimes older then the younger persons dad. That's sick to me. I think it's circumstantial when it comes to age gap relationship's, some people are inlove and spend forever together and are perfect for each other but when an older person is ONLY ever attracted to younger people and constantly tries to get with younger people, gives me seriously gross, rock spider vibes. Just sayin.

[@menareshit3120]

Cis men are absolutely repulsive and disgusting creatures. It's an obvious fact at this point.

[@sylvia6706]

100% agree. Plus it's so demeaning to women to minimize us to our most physical qualities. The attraction ages up when men look beyond the physical.

[@B2Roland]

I'd be hesitant to presume 'most men' feel any one monolithic way lol.

[@leandrog2785]

If this was the result of some scientific survey, i'd like to point out that if you ask a man "what age of women do you find attractive" or something like that, he may assume the question is specifically about looks. So a middle aged man may answer "early 20s" even though he wouldn't seek women that young for a relationship, and would seek instead older women. The cultural differences between men and women lead to differences in language. It's similar to how the word "hot" for straight men usually has the connotation of referring specifically to body shape (even though other factors are important in determing men's sexual attraction to a woman), whereas for women (whether straight or lesbian) that's not the case, and it's more equivalent to "sexually attractive".

[@talwyn_cc]

Some will chalk this up to "Biology" where it's natural for men to feel the urge to spread their seed on younger women who commonly have it easier getting pregnant.

[@bluepursue8542]

I could listen to you two chatting all day

[@zeiroc]

thank you for putting this video up despite it being such a tough and sensitive topic because heartbreaks sucks!

[@raapyna8544]

I was just thinking I wanna listen to Alayna before I go to sleep, because she has so chill energy. Thanks guys for the the content. And yes, I've been listening to Ashley a lot lately for the same purpose. Love you too.

[@moustachetuesdays]

This was so funny, I have to admit I did find you through Alanas* Channel, BUT I subscribed for the hilarious content not because a felt sorry for you! 😂

[@Princess_0f_Trees]

You’re both my favorite. I did learn about Ashley on Alayna’s channel, but I’ve since listened to every episode of We’re Having Gay Sex, and you’re both just the best queer content creators. I love when you two collab.

[@kaiya33123]

Needed This!❤🥺❤ Thank you both❤❤

[@tals.8960]

What you said about how hard it is to get out of a toxic relationship... and what Alayna said about constantly thinking about what you wish you'd said or what you wish you'd talked about, I feel that so much. I think a big reason I stayed for so long in the toxic relationship I was in was because I was desperately afraid of being the bad guy, or for that matter making her feel like the bad guy, or leaving it on bad terms or whatever. I just wanted so desperately to feel that I had truly given it my all, that I had tried, and most importantly, I wanted so desperately for her to feel that I had tried, and to not think too badly of me. I wanted her to agree that things weren't working out, and break up more amicably, rather than having a nasty bad traumatic breakup. I think there was a part of me that thought that if we could agree it wasn't working out, then maybe we could actually remain friends. But, now, the idea of interacting with her gives me panic attacks. So, that's out. But, yeah, anyway, like Alayna said, I just keep going back to wishing I'd said something differently, or wishing we might have had certain conversations, or just wishing things could have been different. I know that we're not meant for each other - at all - and that she's a terribly toxic person. So it's not like "if I had said X, we might have been able to make it work," but more like "if I'd said X, maybe it could have been more tolerable & less traumatic while it lasted," or "maybe we could have broken up on better terms." :/

[@tals.8960]

Hey! Long Island!? I'm from Long Island :)

[@xohilary07]

i love the chemistry you two have, you're so fun to watch and interesting- this is so sad though xoxo

[@mrfredbasset]

As someone who’s aroace with only 2 relationships in my past. I find all this breakup talk so fascinating 😅

[@bye_felicia136]

Ashley..I'm a new fan..ur absolutely hilarious..I have been binge watching all ur podcasts and I haven't stopped laugh crying lmao..gold..

[@malcolmadams1051]

Thank you for your theory on toxic relationships. Mine is, but you have removed some of the fog.

[@someoneelse7629]

I'm here from Alayna, I have seen some of your comedy on youtube/instagram, but not your channel, and I must say you and Alayna is great together in this format. I love people that doesn't take themself seriously, and does overshare a bit, that's when you feel it's real. I must say I love you, in a respctful distanced way

[@greycloud7063]

i did not know i needed to hear some of this stuff today. thank you

[@romankrassner5615]

I need every hard moment of life to be animated like that cutscene heading to the store. It gives me the dopamine rush of the poster from Angela Anaconda 😂

[@bereglez90]

Lol. I was just having the thought that this video was just what I needed right now and then Ashley says "this probably isn't helpful to anyone" 🤣

[@lourdesmartinandrade8642]

When you guys started talking about society rules I remembered how my parents think lgbtq+ people are just people manipulated by society and that's why we feel like we're attracted to X gender ... but we are actually the most liberated, I mean I feel like we don't feel any pressure to match the kind of lifestyle society says you should match

[@theembersinside1420]

Great advice here.👍🏻 For me, any time I've been single, I try to remember that those cpls you're looking at w envy are probably miserable IRL! Sincerely, Denise 😄

[@annag467]

Straight cis woman here, Ashley is correct about long distance 'ships: the distance is not sustainable WITHOUT A PLAN TO JOIN LIVES IN THE NEAR FUTURE. I took way too long figuring out that i didnt view my long distance bf of 4 years as a good friend, or as someone i ever want to live with. He wanted to test drive shacking up together before any talk about marriage. The distance kept us in the danger zone: no relationship progress, i felt like an emotional prop or a crutch, he felt terrified throughout the relationship of completely losing our relationship. We were on and off for a period of 8 years, thus i say we were only together for 4 years.

[@osunale]

So I came here to laugh, but actually found this whole conversation (on both channels) to be incredibly helpful for me right now. Free therapy whoo! But seriously, you both have a lot of excellent insight and advice. ❤️

[@ccaatttiraffe]

The market is so fresh LOL. I found out I was gay just before my 31st birthday this year. LOVE YOU BOTH

[@mrc2205]

Your Libido follows your heart. And whatever’s going on in your life reflects on your libido.

[@sophielouise8722]

I am loving this 💖 thank you for the openness 💖

[@lyahertz6059]

I originally came from your tiktok and then listened to your podcast and then became a Joybabie :) although I stumbled across Alayna through my KZbin recommended but I am beyond thrilled that these collabs are happening

[@catherinetran1251]

How are these two videos out just as I exit a long term relationship 🥺 These funny as videos actually do really help since I know I'm not alone in how I feel about her and knowing that I can move on by focusing on myself so thank you to both of you! Gained a new subscriber from me 😄

[@sawtoothmetal]

I'm het and going through a rough breakup. This really helped me so thanks! Love the podcast.

[@theantae6380]

This Video eventuelly did really help me.

[@mickeyvranic6709]

This conversation is helping me sooo much because I feel shitty for not having myself figured out in relationships.

[@lili-cl1zx]

i really found your podcast through the first collab with alayna and now i'm on episode 20 :D i love it it's my saving grace for any train or bus ride and honestly teaches me so much as a somewhat still baby gay!

[@zararobnett8284]

Write your future self a letter! Genius!!

[@daxmonkeyfeet2574]

15:08 was so funny and cute especially that laugh at 15:19 and is she cute ? Can I look at her ? Also thank both of you for your videos because they honestly really did help me

[@mynameisglitter2220]

Being broken up with feels like it was all fake and you were never truly cherished.

[@heartbeat0506]

Thanks for this, guys. It really was helpful to hear your advice and similar experiences while I'm going through the heartbreak pain.

[@ziggysheynin3786]

I found Ashley first and then Alayna, and now I love both ❤

[@norahoyer9413]

This video helped me so much. I love you both, you’re great internet therapists lol

[@georgiavachon4879]

OHMYGOD the editing

[@Rachel-qz4hj]

came here from your vid with alayna, now subscribed so HI you're hilarious thank u for the funnies!!!

[@Alex-on7ne]

the edits are amazing on your vids. I can say I hardly laugh at vids but yours really get me cracking up by myself😂

[@Elizabeth-nn4qn]

I absolutely love the editing style!! These two videos have made my day ❤

[@ballershanelle]

Our joy has found her lesbian self. It just hits harder..women can do that 2 u. It took me a 1 1/2 years to get over my One but now, I rarely think of her and no chance of going back. Time and knowing u deserve being treated and fully loved is key

[@liamclarke64]

Was it just me who paused the video to see if Jen had commented?? :-)

[@brittanylove222]

Immediately looked at the comments! Haha 😂

[@expatmoose]

Erm! 👀👀👀🤫

[@52Paulis]

Thank you both.

[@steviebabb5120]

I came across Ashley on tik tok and didn't know who AJ was until the podcast with Ashley. So I may be that 1 subscriber that you sent to Alayna 💁🏻‍♀️

[@ale-hc4sk]

this video was very helpful to me, thanks

[@AVD223]

came over from alayna... not because i feel bad for you but because you are fricking hilarious and the podcasts are fascinating

[@Freshly220]

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks these two would look wicked cute together….

[@KelliDee23]

This coming week, I’ll be 51. Was married for 12 years. Three now grown kids. Haven’t dated in 10 years. I didn’t choose well and realized it and just quit trying. You are both young, beautiful, smart, and way more mentally aware than I was at your ages. You’ll find the right one and they’ll hit all the right buttons, sexually and emotionally, at the right time. I do still believe in love, just not for me, lol.

[@kaylutz5824]

I can't believe I didn't know you had a KZbin channel (but also being honest I did come from Alayna's channel...) but I follow you on TikTok!

[@NostalgiaBrit]

My relationship with my ex, Meg, was massively toxic! Thing is, _everyone… _*_EVERYONE_* saw it, except me! Like, _all_ my friends were constantly _trying_ to drop hints, in the hope that I'd realise & dump the psycho! But it took _her_ dumping _me_ (over text, would you believe; because, so she claimed, she realised that she was bisexual & more into guys), then me wallowing for _three years_ (incl. torturing myself by looking at her Facebook profile), before I was finally able to see just how abused I actually was! What utterly *_terrifies_* me, though, is the thought that, even now, _9 years later,_ in the right situation, I'd fall back into her arms; hell, I'd probably take a bullet for her, knowing me! That's a truly, spectacularly unhealthy thing to admit about myself, and I _know_ it's not healthy, and dearly hope I'm wrong; I hope I'd have the strength to slam the door in her face (not that she's ever likely to actually come knocking)… But yeah, it keeps me up at night, the fear that I might actually be so weak, and hate myself so much, that I'd be hers again for the asking! Wow, this comment turned into a therapy session, sorry! 🥺😢😭

[@virgilmcclendon5072]

Thanks!

[@IbelongtoMUSE12]

My number one breakup advice is watch Daniel Sloss’ stand up special Jigsaw.

[@lili-cl1zx]

i was focused on the hat for so long it's really so cool i want it too!!

[@recyclops229]

Not me actually being named Denise and being a fan of your podcast… 😣

[@_gremlinboy]

That must have been a very funny moment for you

[@steffanvierirs2239]

Also love both of you, looking forward for more content ✨

[@irradiated_woman8016]

I've been waiting, _ladies_ . Seriously I need this and I like you both very very much thank you, more please. Edit. I'm sad gay and boring.

[@Tessa_llate]

A+ video and advice, much love to you both

[@katiehotham1474]

Damn that intro is ✨chef's kiss✨

[@marysteer6794]

Such a lot of good advice learn a lot from you all

[@annabelapurva-madhuri4861]

This was so good ❤️

[@Lady-Y]

That part about late discover is totally true though. Didn’t realize I was gay until I was 18, unlike literally every other gay person in my town (which they were very hostile about). Also didn’t realize I was trans until I was almost 22.

[@bamb3928]

I actually found both your channels independently which is weird. I kind of rediscovered Alayna and actually started watching her content around the same time I discovered Ashley’s stand up. Then I got addicted to the podcast naturally. KZbin just knows to give me gay content. 😂 I absolutely loved this little chat, both of you are awesome.❤️

[@loupelizzo2399]

Back to back seeing the part 2 and continued my laughing, and Ashley how come Adam and Eve hasn’t sponsored you yet they are missing out. Enjoyed this post break up advice video a lot and laughed and cried all the way through this video and I love your podcast. Love the advice and the conversation was so cool and it was just amazing, thank you so much for both these videos. You are both so great and so happy you’re here for me

[@philhatch483]

Joy baby here. I subscribe to you now, Ashley because you're funny and REALLY smart about relationship and personal development stuff. Are you coming to Raleigh, NC in 2023? I will watch your special in April 23 but I want to see you live. I'm secretly hoping you'll make fun of me live.😂

[@nicohobson5251]

Erm I just found you both individually .... and then you collabed and I was like .... oh it's those two together,.... basically you're both great.

[@leorojas1572]

You want an Edith? My grandma's name is Edith Dyke, not joking... She's not quite 90, but she in her 80's 😂😂😂

[@shielamariedolera5597]

so sad for ashley dont worry right person will come along in gods perfect time...lovelotssss

[@RestlessReini]

Me 3 days after a break-up with a guy: I'm fine again lol, let's have some fun Me almost 1 year after a break-up with a girl: FINALLY getting over her, took long enough lol How could I have ever thought I was straight lol

[@Alex-on7ne]

love the collabs!!!