what it's like being on T for 7 YEARS!

✧ important links! ✧
SO MUCH good info here: decolonizepalestine.com/
solidarity cinema recently added more palestinian films: www.solidaritycinema.com/
visual and data-driven resources for understanding Palestine: 101.visualizingpalestine.org/
lots of wonderful, easily-consumable info: / letstalkpalestine
everything u need to learn about and participate in BDS: bdsmovement.net/
free ebooks from haymarket: www.haymarketbooks.org/blogs/...
palestinian youth movement: linktr.ee/palestinianyouthmov...
palestinian action (US branch, direct action network): linktr.ee/PalActionUS
stop cop city: linktr.ee/stopcopcitylinks
✧ chapters ✧
intro - 0:00
voice comparison - 3:50
photo timeline - 5:35
your qs abt me - 12:50
some advice qs - 43:10
info abt prostatic metaplasia - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35034...
✧ my links ✧
instagram: / graveyardpansy
shop: graveyardpansy.square.site
twitter: / graveyardpansy
storygraph: / graveyardpansy
tumblr: / graveyard-pansy
or, find everything here: linktr.ee/graveyardpansy
business e-mail: [e-mail]
join this channel's discord to talk to me and other viewers for advice, conversations around videos, mental health chats, and whatever else you're interested in! / discord

[@alexandriaf.4374]

It’s been 6 years on Estrogen for me this year. Congrats 🦇💜🦇

[@The.Percy.Ever.]

Omg congrats for you!! :)

[@qwertykeyboard5901]

...Why the bats?

[@The.Percy.Ever.]

@@qwertykeyboard5901 becuse cool looking emojis probably

[@HateFax]

How does your voice sound?

[@alexandriaf.4374]

@@HateFax lighter and more much feminine. With help from a speech pathologist :)

[@melindaramirez9040]

My son is on puberty blockers. The doc suggested T and I'm doing some research. This video gave me an idea of what to expect. Thank you so much. You look great and I love your style. I wish so much happiness

[@johndoe4110]

Best wishes to you and your child. You are a very kind and thoughtful parent to help your kid out with his self-discovery.

[@user-eb7qt7lx4g]

This is so sweet. Love seeing parents being active in supporting their trans kids.

[@anaro9132]

Don't trust those corrupted doctors. Please keep yourself and your child safe♥︎

[@Gray-Or-Grey]

❤

[@HateFax]

@anaro9132 Shes just as bad as them. ​her daughters going to be in & out of mental care until they finally grow up and realize they destroyed their lives with their naive mothers help. Its so sad.

[@abberancestar]

I'm a year and half on T and god dayum I'm so happy with what it did to me. I also heritated the bear gene from my family and it's insane how am I covered in floof

[@graveyardpansy]

congrats on becoming a bear! i love trans bears :)

[@Computergirl567]

happy for u! and nice basil pfp :)

[@frankiemustdie]

praying i inherit the bear gene when i go on t 🙏 congrats

[@jackriver8385]

Same here, I love it!!

[@Factorum...]

Gay ally here, it's always nice to see ppl in the community be happy

[@Computergirl567]

fr I'm bi but seeing ppl being happy is awesome since a lot of ppl aren't doing so good right now understandably. I hope we can all have good days soon.

[@cakeskin3333]

What you said about gender expression, I’ve recently got to 18 months on E and about 2 years socially transitioned and I have gotten sooo much more comfortable doing masc things than I ever was before I transitioned

[@jasperofthehollow]

for those that want to do shots but have anxiety abt doing it yourself, there are options for less regular, larger injections from a nurse at your gp every 12 to 14 weeks (starting off w/ slightly more regular injections). It is a bigger injection which can still be scary, by my nurse does mine in two goes (half in one butt cheek, half in the other lol) and as someone who experiences a lot of anxiety around needles and injections it has been really good for me.

[@graveyardpansy]

that's so cool, didn't even know that was an option! thanks for sharing!

[@user-pp4pu1eo4b]

if i may elaborate on this piece of info, this kind of administration method is done not just with a different dose, but with a different kind of testosterone ester, one that is slower to break down and therefore doesn't cause as big of a spike and crash in T-levels. in my country (the Netherlands) it is sold as Nebido

[@twig6102]

As a South Asian guy, I've only been on testosterone for 8 months but I've had facial hair since about 4 months on T and I have to shave basically every day/every other day in the morning and the stubble will be back by 10 pm! I've always had a very masculine face shape and used to be made fun of for "being a girl with a mustache" at age like 6-7. So just a reminder that everyone's experiences will be different and oftentimes it will really depend on genetics and your race!

[@meow-sr2bl]

As someone who has always had problems with a very oily scalp just make sure to always properly dry ur hair with a hairdryer after washing with antidandruff type shampoo. letting ur scalp be warm and moist after washing encourages fungal growth and makes ur scalp tender and greasy.

[@treffyfrinn]

I just started T yesterday so this is fortunate timing! Thank you for the great video!

[@karterstrophic]

Congrats!!

[@treffyfrinn]

@@karterstrophic Thank you!!

[@honeybee3269]

The t-shirt reminded me of the fact you introduced me to dog park dissidents!!!!

[@Rattacadabra]

💖💖Congrats on 7 years!! I'm so happy for you hitting that milestone. 💖💖 I'm about 7 months on T at almost 24yrs and it's genuinely been life-changing for me in all the best ways and seeing people on hrt way longer than me is so inspiring.

[@Computergirl567]

congrats! I'm happy for all of u guys in the comments here.

[@Rattacadabra]

@@Computergirl567 Thanks!

[@puddingwars-]

I’m almost a year on T! Currently 10 months on T! Can’t wait to celebrate my T anniversary for years to come! Also congrats on 7 years!

[@TheSeaSwells]

Omg same! 10 months on vitamin T baybee 😎

[@Computergirl567]

@@TheSeaSwells vitamin t? omg thats perfect

[@frogman5935]

The variability is interesting. I’ve been on T for 4 years and facial hair growth started about 1 month in (I had a mustache pre-T however) and started growing (more) body hair around then too. My voice starting deepening about a year in and it didn’t start to settle until recently. My fat redistribution and facial changes have also been pretty dramatic.

[@ffawn]

I've been watching you since I started my own transition, I feel like watching a older brother. So proud of you!!!

[@phoebeallen284]

Just hit 2 years on E, 3 years socially transitioned, I just feel so much comfortable being me at this point, not trying to pass, not trying to be a guy, I'm just me!

[@praalgraf]

oh so cool! i'm hitting 4 years soon, so this is good to look forward to the coming years :) can't believe i've been watching your videos for such a long time

[@SkyeID]

I was on T for 3 weeks...and it was a nightmare! I had (have) pre-existing health issues, and T exacerbated those issues to a high degree. Side effects included: -crying a downpour of tears. Every. Day. -paranoid, afraid to leave my house -depression, a feeling of utter hopelessness -dangerous and scary uncharacteristic behaviors I had no control over -period didn't go away...it just got worse! Granted these are considered rare side effects, but I know I'm not the only one. I met a fellow trans person who had almost the exact same side effects I did when he was on T for a month.

[@Rattacadabra]

Thank you for bringing up your own experiences with hrt. I've heard of that sometimes happening, and I hope you and that other guy are doing better now! Being trans is expressed in so many different ways that hormones aren't the only way, and I hope to see a future where medical transphobia dies so we ALL can have better care for ALL types of transition, including ones that aren't considered medical.

[@gh0stgarbage]

Man, sorry to hear that. And thanks for sharing your experience. 💚

[@SkyeID]

@@Rattacadabra oh, I'm okay now....that was 11 years ago lol!! HRT didn't work out, but hey, I got top surgery, I changed my name, and I got legally male on all my documents. That's just my journey, for now anyway.

[@SkyeID]

@@gh0stgarbage thanks

[@ZijnShayatanica]

I recall Miles McKenna stopped T for pretty much the same reason - he took it for 9 months & had to stop because he was suffering almost the entire time. That sucks, dude!! But I'm glad you got top surgery & did all the legal shit - transition doesn't have to look the same for everyone.

[@nik41797]

haven't finished watching yet but i've been following u since like, early-mid 2017, and seeing how far uve come in transition over the years has been really really cool!! 💜

[@arrowheaded]

today is 1 year on T for me! hope to be where you are in 6 more :)

[@Computergirl567]

am i going insane or is that an akira fudo pfp

[@arrowheaded]

@Computergirl567 it is, you're not insane lol

[@Computergirl567]

@@arrowheaded based. I just started watching devilman its insanely good

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

Off topic but omg the dog park dissidents shirt!!!

[@josephtaylor-leach5617]

If you are having trouble remembering to take any meds setting recurring alarms on your phone can help. there is a limit though. obviously if you've got something you need to take 3x a day it can be frustrating to have so many alarms. I take a bunch of pills right when i wake so i put it in my line of sight where i eat breakfast. then an afternoon alarm then a bedtime alarm (i'm a super night owl which doesn't play nice with a 9-5 society). for weekly alarms i need a gentle reminder the night before and then the alarm the next day. while panic may make the brains of people with adhd super um verby it's not a great way to do injections that require more care and focus.

[@Trash-Garbage-Trash]

That's awesome! Thanks for documenting everything, it's so nice to see updates from people who've been on hrt for a long time!

[@fireignitus9767]

Thank you for uploading this video! I'm going on T this month so this is very fortuitous for this to come out this month lol

[@fangs4thememories]

the FIATC shirt you're wearing the day before starting T got me emotionally 😭 i saw frank on the Parachutes tour that year and it feels like a lifetime ago and yesterday at the same time. im a year and some-odd months on T now, but have known i'm trans since middle school in the early 10s, so it's like night and day in certain ways. can't wait to see what's in store

[@chaotic_enby2625]

this video came at exactly the right time for me, I've been thinking a lot about the effects of T and wether or not it's right for me and stuff in the last few days. it has been pretty helpful, thank you for posting!! (also btw your clothing style is so awesome, goals tbh... I think I have even gotten some new ideas about accessories to maybe make from this video)

[@Computergirl567]

based lain pfp

[@belligerentkitten]

I have EDS and testosterone is basically the only thing that allows me to walk. Testosterone can affect joints - but usually positively.

[@ZijnShayatanica]

I also have EDS & yeah, Testosterone has had amazing effects on my pain levels & ability to function. No PMS = no monthly increase in Relaxin = fewer subluxations. And the increased muscle mass also prevents injuries & makes continuing my PT exercises way easier. I also don't bruise as much as I did before! My baseline POTS & fatigue are the same as they were, but no PMS = predictable energy levels.

[@diigitalbath]

im two weeks on T as of today!!!!! i havent checked on your yt channel in a few years a i was so excited to see this. congrats on 7 years!! 💗

[@icearstorm4210]

The one think I wasn't told about being on T is that body hair seems to funnel everything into one's belly button; never knew what people meant by belly button lint before then... Some days it looks as if a small mouse crawled in there :/

[@softnsquish]

I used not to like facial hair, but it grew on me (ba dum tss)

[@debesys6306]

also for ppl who are concerned about T: research taking T with dutasteride (tho you can't take duta indefinitely) or nandrolone!

[@Veryvoidlove]

What are those? And what do they do? Im v curious

[@lavender-rex]

congrats on 7 years! nice to see your videos again :D!

[@rain-gx1lj]

i was subscribed to your channel in 8th grade- congrats on getting so far on your transition!! it’s so weird because i’ve gone from questioning wether i should go on T to “nah im cis” to….questioning wether i should go on T 😭

[@thebreeoche]

i always find it really interesting to hear what other people go through and if that's ok i'd like to add my own experience: i am 24 + 1 and a half year on T (started a month before my 23rd birthday!), and i have basically become a bear. i barely had any body hair before, so it was really surprising when i started getting visible hair on my hands & thighs & breasts XD my entire stomach area is covered in hair now, my arm hair is visible in photos, and i've actually had to start shaving my armpits for the first time in my life due to the hair getting too irritating and causing my skin condition to flare up i also started growing facial hair almost immediately, my beard is kinda sparse and shitty but it's there and visible if i don't shave for ~3 days. everything i read/heard told me this was very rare so i REALLY didn't expect it, but it could happen to you! nobody told me it would be so itchy and i was NOT prepared x_x shout-out to the trans women in my life who have helped me a lot with figuring out shaving and stuff, getting some good aftershave has been a life saver ahah i've never had acne in my life before, unlike a lot of other people in my family. my older cousin & younger sibling both have a lot of it and i've always thought it was funny that it "skipped" me. anyway that is not the case anymore and i should have kept my mouth shut! i don't have much on my face, but my chest and shoulders are covered in it. i am lucky that so many people close to me know how to handle it, because it's been affecting my self esteem and they've really helped me figure out what works for my skin. my speaking voice has changed very little, people close to me can hear it but it still reads as 100% feminine unless i force it down, but my singing voice now has a noticeably different range. i struggle with high notes i used to be able to hit very easily and can now reach way lower than before. as mentioned i can also force my voice down to a masculine speaking range, it feels unnatural but it allows for some really funny bits at least lol people have told me my face shape has changed but personally i don't really see it. i have gained a pretty significant amount of weight since starting testosterone, so i don't know how much of that is playing a role vs the effects of T alone. and that's pretty much everything for me that i can think of!

[@flow_dojo]

Thank you Ashton 💝everyone has such a different journey for sure; all uniquely special

[@nekoites]

ASHTON!!! Congrats

[@Computergirl567]

he's helped a lot of us, i remember watching him the day my dog died in 7th grade. happy 1.5 years!

[@noahruiz9532]

this is so cool to watch because i think ive been watching you throughout all of this, 2017 was my first year out as a trans person (i was in high school, the school year starts in the january and it was the first time i started the year meeting a bunch of new people as my first trans name and pronouns and considering going on t) and watching you was important for my experience. i ended up going on t for almost 2 years and then stopped because i didnt want any further changes. i am now a 22 year old genderfluid person and im able to navigate well my gender fluidity and present how i want both when im feeling more fem and more masc

[@SarastistheSerpent]

Congrats on 7 years, Ashton!

[@87654321j]

Congratulations on 7 year anniversary Ashton 😊

[@howdyhoward]

i knew i would get more hair but i didn’t realize that more hair on my belly/belly button would mean LOTS of belly button lint!

[@d.m.1070]

thank you for this video, it helped me confirm to myself that pursuing T is something i really want to do

[@mikeymullins5305]

Oh my god taking the shot eight days apart. Every single week for me. Im glad someone else has got that too.

[@cuartemi6582]

I had a slight jumpstart on facial hair from PCOS, but it’s still one of the most slow going things lmao. But it is truly like that for so many cis men, so it wasn’t too surprising for me. It definitely can be annoying that it’s patchy, but that’s testosterone puberty for ya

[@christiebecerril8113]

Yes this is lovely your videos are always so helpful and informational and I would love to hear you talk more about gender affirming care and gender expression

[@thatsagiantmouse]

Have you tried hair products specifically for curly hair? I had random curls a lot growing up and didn't understand why they'd show up and leave, but since switching to curl-friendly products, my hair is consistently curly with minimal effort

[@adaptationmoths9098]

hello, i came from your name changing video and you said something about changing your name as a dual citizen. could you go a little more into depth about how you changed your name on the foreign country’s citizenship? thanks!

[@misssheltered1081]

Almost half way but good video. Enjoy your content.

[@Kozinovaa411]

Congrats! I’m almost 7 days on T I can’t wait to be 7 years

[@Computergirl567]

happy for u thats awesome :3 7 days will become a year soon enough, and before you know it 7 years will have gone by. time flies, you'll look back and be happy with where you are.

[@Kozinovaa411]

@@Computergirl567 thank you!

[@Computergirl567]

@@Kozinovaa411 now ur 16 days on t!

[@AsherindollLand]

This video just confirmed I for sure want to go on t

[@paytoonspayton3064]

Omg I haven’t see ur videos in like 6 years 😭

[@aidenLjmz]

I have the exact same shirt ❤ Happy to see other ppl who enjoy Dog Park Dissidents, they're great

[@herrdoktorseltsameliebe]

When do we organize the revolution?

[@rosarolli]

Speaking of facial hair, which side of my family would I get the genes from? My dad's side doesn't have much hair and my mom's side is the opposite

[@ZijnShayatanica]

I heard that you should look at your mother's side of the family, but I'm not 100% sure on that.

[@storeymerrill9384]

sorry but the picture at 13:42 is sooo hot

[@graveyardpansy]

aw thank you !! no apology needed :)

[@ZijnShayatanica]

Agreeeeeed. Whenever he uploads, I play the game of "Is it gender envy or a parasocial crush?" 😂🤣

[@Leolourdes167]

How many different times was your dose increased?

[@graveyardpansy]

hmm I can't say I remember exacly, but I think 5ish? i know i started at .2 ml at 100mg/ml every other week, and went up to .3 ml at 200mg/ml slowly over time. it took ~3 yrs of adjustment to get there.

[@kenworthunofficial1934]

omg we're T twins, im alson 7 years on T holy shart

[@zakbrand7354]

Congrats on 7 years

[@shtteredglam]

YESSSS I NEEDED THIS VIDEO FROM SOMEONE LIKE YOU 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[@RivLoveshine]

I love Dog Park Dissidents! Best band!

[@lou3893]

hell yeah :D

[@qwertykeyboard5901]

0:30 And people wonder why I'm a communist.

[@graveyardpansy]

real!! it is rough out here!!

[@GrungeQ_27]

Call videos it's okay to be different that's what makes us unique who cares what the stupid system or people in society think or say I also like watching videos like this because individualism and self-expression to me is important I love watching KZbin birds that are not afraid to be themselves to dress how they want do what they want and make videos however they want to self-expression is happiness not a phase

[@Veryvoidlove]

:3 v cool and awesome video :3 I'm still waiting to move out of my transphobic parents' house bc i can't start t until I leave for safety reasons, but man oh man! I'm equal parts excited and anxious bc moving out is scary in this capitalist hellscape and tbh I have no clue if ill ever be able to afford t. I hope I will bc its the one thing about medical transition that I dont want to not have. All other surgery is basiclly not on my radar bc its expencive and I can deal without bc i think my body is cool :3 one thing I got a head start on last year for my period dysphoria was getting a levongestrel iud bc it completely stopped my period for a year! (Since then there has been a complication but id do it again at the drop of a hat bc it was life changing!!!!!)

[@GlassMelon]

Non binary trans male for 7 years? Must be a faze. Lol You looks great. Thanks for the video. 💛

[@mochiboy7750]

holy moly 7 years dude?? I feel like you were this little short haired emo boy 3 years ago 😭 My sense of time is fucked

[@Nerdical.]

I’m a trans-guy. The part of me I’m most insecure about is my voice. There is not a single trans-man I’ve had the chance to witness that actually had a deep or masculine sounding voice, including people on 10+ years of tesosterone. Is your voice seriously the best it gets? Feel like k/lling myself now, lol.

[@RM-xr8lq]

practice using your diaphragm. consciously lower the pitch of your voice. you will think you are doing a voice or a character at first before it becomes normal and natural way of speaking men with deep voices made an effort to talk like that, it isn't something that will just switch on through testosterone (though it will lower your voice a bit)

[@lunarsystem]

maybe check out transmasc peoples voices on r/transvoice!

[@hellomynameisrioo]

This person definitely did not voice train. I’m a trans man and my voice sounds like my brother’s. I don’t know if this creator is even trans tbh they just come across as a girl

[@charlieblah]

I think you look really different from even 3 yrs ago, idk if it's the hair or no makeup or the brows 🤔

[@BBWahoo]

Haha share some

[@Computergirl567]

I'm not trans (cis female bisexual) and I'm not a leftist either im more centrist, so we may not have a lot in common but I've been watching ur channel since 2020 when I was 12 and I still enjoy your content. I watched your channel the day my dog died and that helped me feel better, ur videos are just informative and cool in general. I've learned a lot about the queer community and been more curious to research about it since watching your videos such as the ones where you'd sew patches on ur jacket, i really liked that series. Even if we disagree on a lot politically i still really enjoy your channel since i like listening to both sides. I also like ur style and vids about ND stuff bc i have autism and adhd, its cool to find another ND youtuber cuz i already watch a lot and am looking for more. So yea just wanted to say that. and happy 7 years! :3 Glad ur happy with ur voice and everything. sorry im rambling xd

[@yoursugarismine]

Non binary man is an oxymoron tho

[@SarastistheSerpent]

I think Ashton is trans masc rather than a binary male. Similar to the concept of a demiboy

[@catticus6637]

ashton has a video explaining this further

[@graveyardpansy]

it's true, i have multiple videos discussing my gender in detail. gender is expansive, individual, and full of seemingly contradictory identities. anyone can be whoever they want. why police how people express themselves?

[@luka1258]

nonbinary does not mean “not a man or a woman” (for some maybe yes) but implies a general separation from that binary which can either be subtle or huge for different people

[@luka1258]

but yeah wasting time arguing about “contradictory” trans politics gets us no where. just move on maybe if you’re unable to understand? that’s always an okay option 👍

[@debbiew2377]

Come back to Yeshuah you have the code in your DNA YHWH. I'm an ex third degree wiccan. Spells have to be reinforced it's a circle of no end. All false deities there is no power greater than the Heavenly Father God.

[@MandyCandy13]

your god means less than piss and vomit here

[@CadyAnBlack]

My guy is giving < tohru Honda is an American born runaway transmasc who accidentally becomes a member of Young Guns 1988 and heals all of their hearts while falling in love with Lou Diamond Phillips > right? RIGHT!? Anyway, we're sliving for it. 🫰