Ask Nick - Missionary Parents | The Viall Files w/ Nick Viall

Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Dr Orna Guralnik, from the hit show Couples Therapy, joins us to talk about the new season and her take on therapy in general. Then we get to our callers…
Our first caller called in because she and her husband disagree on the gender of their future child. Her husband wants to guarantee a boy, but she is persistent in leaving it a surprise. Our second caller is nervous because her long-term boyfriend is meeting her Christian missionary parents for the first time. Our caller’s faith is still important to her, but she doesn’t want to disappoint her parents due to her boyfriend’s lack of religion. Our final caller is wondering how to tell her parents that she doesn’t want to have kids and that her husband is getting snipped. She already feels bad about moving to another country, and previous attempts have not ended well.
Season 4 of COUPLES THERAPY premieres May 31 on Paramount+ with SHOWTIME.
“There’s no tougher lesson for a parent, than their own kids demonstrating the right behavior when they’re not”
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[@moirathompson6457]

First caller….imagine those boys and her brother with disabilities listening to this one day, this made me incredibly sad

[@evelynwiebe8693]

Orna is the BEST... so empathetic, so knowledgable... why isn't her face in the thumbnail ???

[@margaretpeters2911]

Wanting a “fresh start” with new kids is actually insane. Also being to busy to help raise his kids is on him. If raising kids is a priority, get a different job that allows for more time at home.

[@sydneybharper]

Read my mind

[@candy07831]

Very interesting that they’re talking so much about overcoming infidelity in relationships

[@chelseaheninger998]

I don’t usually love the ask nick episodes, but when I saw Orna was his guest, I got so excited!! I absolutely LOVE her and Couples Therapy! Such a great show and she is such a gem!

[@dakotaclarke6039]

Nick always asking long winded questions leaving the guests like 🤨

[@jnada101]

@the stepmom caller who said her husband wants a son because his first sons have disabilities....ouch. I cringe imagining how his sons would feel knowing he wants "a fresh start." I say this as someone whose parent saw her first-marriage children as too difficult and hopeless, so she started a new family instead of working on her "old" one

[@stack.attack27]

Exactly. It hurt me to hear and I imagine his ex wife had valid reasons for parenting them as she saw fit. Sounds like he didn't want to be as involved and used the busy job as the justification

[@arianagonzalez3058]

I thought the exact same thing and felt sick for the boys. I hope those words never find their way to them

[@julieta26100]

Agreed. It made me wonder how these kids or their mom would feel hearing the stepmom describe the situation that way. Also agreed with Nick saying if I love and trust my spouse and I have the ability to give him something he desires, why not?

[@kluceee33]

her voice is the most calming voice of all time

[@stepherann]

the way they read these ads is so rough.

[@francescad.135]

What a fantastic episode with Dr Orna. She is so smart, insightful and empathetic

[@paigehiggicrochetncrafts]

I completely agree that couples therapy is not always a good thing. I studied family therapy as my undergrad, and I think that if your relationship is doing well and you go into therapy, you can seek out problems that don’t actually exist. I also think it is good for you and your partner to have to work through things on your own and not always have a third party to weigh in. If your communication isn’t good with one another, then therapy can help but everyone has their own way of communicating and if it works for both of you, no need to change it.

[@arianagonzalez3058]

I miss the days where Amanda was on and had a more empathetic approach with the callers. Used to be the biggest Viall Files fan but his takes on things makes me cringes at times. It would be nice if another person was in during the calls

[@annapanto5905]

Dr orna is truly amazing and if nick and the household aren’t watching couples therapy they are missing out it’s so diverse and enlightening and entertaining and profound. Been dying for them to recap the show it seems right up nicks ally

[@absolutelynoooooot]

It's refreshing to hear Orna having such nuanced takes on all of nicks questions, didn't realize but makes me yearn for much more nuance from him

[@mememeome]

Orna’s mind is so cool. I love my therapist, but I’m so fascinated by her more psychoanalytic approach

[@sarahmorse5976]

First caller - I feel like it’s one persons “dream” vs another. So that is tough bc I feel like nick only is acknowledging the guys dream but is completely missing her dream is also present. If you both want different sexes then roll the dice is probably most fair.

[@TheJdubtrey]

They already have a girl together. She wants another girl, or to some extent just doesn’t want the pressure of raising a boy.

[@shannonphelps1148]

I know nick has been open to welcoming feedback recently and I feel like it’s important to mention that as the show talks more and more about family dynamics and complicated family relationships that Nick should practice opening himself up to seeing both the parents and child’s side. I know he has mentioned many times that he does tend to side with parents more etc and it’s great he’s acknowledging that but it was a little frustrating today to listen to him talk to caller 3 and suggest “ how hard would it be for you just to accept that they’re annoying” rather than the caller setting the boundary she’s discussing with her parents. Boundaries are discussed so much on this show but it feels discredited when a caller is explaining a boundary with their parents because to nick “they’re your parents”. The caller multiple times mentions how emotionally draining it is for her parents to constantly ask about children when she doesn’t want them. Just interesting to hear nick’s advice align with more just accept their reaction rather than protect your feelings and enforce your boundary. It seems that’s his overall advice a lot when it comes to parent/child and would be nice to see him open up to acknowledging the child’s feelings a little more in the scenario rather than “that’s just what parents do”. Just like he discussed in an episode last week about how We can’t make an excuse for someone’s behavior just because that’s “how they are”.

[@mrsjessicasmith]

I have to agree with you. I didn't think Nick gave this caller good advice. She needs to set her boundary and let everyone know shes no longer discussing it and then stick to it. Sorry mom, thats not up for discussion!

[@shannonphelps1148]

Agree!

[@cmary718]

Dang Viall Files can we get Orna’s name in the video title?? This was such a great interview !!

[@alroc3432]

In regards to the first caller: I’m still confused on what exactly your needs are or what point you are trying to get across. Your husband wants a boy and you are claiming to be impartial to what sex you want your child to be, so why not just have a boy? You are given a very rare and unique option to choose the sex of your baby but you are choosing to let fate take hold knowing that a boy would make your husband happy? The other problem I have with this fate situation is that it really isn’t fate. Unless I heard you incorrectly, you are already aware that 3 of the embryos are female and 1 is male. So statistically having a girl is way more of a probability than having a boy. You are deliberating letting fate decide the sex knowing that most likely you will have a girl. I guess it just seems really convenient to make all these choices but when it comes to letting your husband have the sex he wants, we want fate to have a play in this? It would seem to be more beneficial to be honest and up front with your husband on your reasoning for not wanting a boy instead of making up an excuse to let fate decide knowing that more than likely taking that route will produce a girl.

[@jefferstube]

She’s manipulative

[@TheJdubtrey]

These are my thoughts exactly. She should just come clean about what she wants instead of veiling it in the pseudo randomness. I can’t get my head around the fact that she can choose to make him happy but would rather roll the dice instead. It doesn’t make sense to me, unless she just really wants a girl and is wants to disguise the fact….which is not a great way of communicating to me.

[@michelleriggs2571]

What she said was they HAD 4 embryos. 3 girls, 1 boy. The first was a girl and they miscarried. The second was a girl and thats their current child. What's left is 1 boy and 1 girl so it's now 50/50.

[@TheJdubtrey]

Yeah, I didn’t think she had three left… I thought they had one of each left.

[@Blubealube]

Definitely listened to the first segment with a different perspective in light of the news that came out recently

[@yakatya539]

About the infidelity?

[@stack.attack27]

What news? I'm out of the loop

[@Blubealube]

Yeah, I guess rumors may be a better word. Long threads of it on bachelornation and lainfluencer reddits. Sad if true

[@mmeshke]

The timing he mentioned here about their “disconnect” is same as the “rumors”.

[@Blubealube]

I noticed the same thing! And tried to cover saying it was communication issues and nothing they were going to break up over. But Natalie previously said she got into therapy because she was making bad decisions and blowing up her life

[@maydaze5934]

Unpopular opinion probs but I kinda hate that Nick never does any research on his guests or knows their professional background.

[@tylerceretelle3639]

I thought the same thing when he interviewed Monica

[@Sarah-br5bm]

Omg same it's so annoying. Like you don't need to know every single thing about them but at least a cursory google search??

[@nafafonafafofo]

What did he say that makes you think he didn’t do any research on her? Do you think the guests should have any obligation to do any research on the podcast that they are going on? Cause I thought that it was interesting that she didn’t even know Nick was on reality tv

[@heatheraggus7501]

​@@Sarah-br5bm And how to properly pronounce their name. And don't blame ADHD on not being able to. Not an acceptable excuse.

[@maryruby5805]

@@nafafonafafofoim happy that she did know him. It can be a tactic

[@RealityRecapGurl]

What a great guest!

[@paigehiggicrochetncrafts]

Also for nick not wanting to ever “yuck anyone’s yum” he sure likes to tell everyone he doesn’t think destiny or fate is real. If they believe in it, and it gives them hope of whatever, you don’t need to try to convince them they’re wrong. They can think it’s fate if they want. Also I know he says “in my opinion,” but it bugs me a bit.

[@JoJo-mojo1]

Just to put out there, but vasectomies are not always successful or easy to reverse. At least the people I know and for one of my good friends, reversals don’t usually work. Sometimes to the point that you can’t even do IVF from his side. Tons of birth control options, but if you want permanent then it’s cool. It’s a decision not temporary bc.

[@haleysanders2017]

Thoughts from the first caller: I know it’s ultimately the woman’s choice to decide if she wants to have a boy or girl, but if you know how much it means to your husband to have a boy (especially after your first embryo being a girl), I don’t see why she wouldn’t want to have a boy. Either way, babies are blessing no matter the gender 🫶🏼

[@laurab5849]

This is just a problem with us playing “God” now I know that they can’t help that they can choose but some things are meant for us not to be able to decide.

[@catherineritch6241]

So having children naturally is called the old fashion way??? You mean the natural way to conceive. Let’s get our wording right😮

[@Infinitewake]

First caller 48:54

[@jennyonthecoast]

A question should not be the start of a monologue.

[@stack.attack27]

Cute doggo

[@mrsjessicasmith]

Who does the dog belong to?

[@cindicleee]

❤❤

[@lauramoor7730]

Boring 🥱 snooze fest