Ask Shallon: Why You Should NEVER Ask A Guy Out (Or Even Text First)

[@auroraomelas4220]

you just blew my mind. i will now stop forcing conversation with that cute guy and stop trying to figure out how to ask the other guy out. if they wanted to talk to me/go out with me, they would ask/do so

[@moniquelouw2030]

Same girl. It's eye opening isn't it

[@xixi3148]

Six years on, how did that work out for you?

[@OmarVincent-gg8se]

she is now settled with the mediocre average guy because her options were only limited to what comes to her because men of quality rarely if ever initiate first. whilst the cute guy simply waited for another girl to hit on him. this is the reality.@@xixi3148

[@xixi3148]

Shalon, there's a difference between being the first to approach or go say hi or even start a casual conversation or ask someone out.... And running after someone who does not respond to you at all. The first thing is fine. It doesn't oblige you to anything. And you lose nothing by simply talking to people. It's the second thing that makes a woman look ridiculous. Trying too hard to get that one guy who is not interested in you. That is silly. It is fine to just approach a man just to talk. You're not offering him anything. Just being friendly. And what's wrong with being friendly? Why can't we normalize being friendly and kind with each other?

[@Runawaysally]

"If a guy can't pursue a woman, is he even a man?"

[@robynbaxter7374]

Girls this is sooooooooooooo true! Ignore the guys on here that are getting p'd off with this truth. I've recently learned this the hard way, thought I would try a more modern approach to dating but it became more n more apparent that he never truly appreciated me the way others have that have asked me out in the past. I wish I had watched this a year n half ago! lol I really weighed the pro's/cons for a few mths before building up the courage and there was def a difference of how things unfolded and his much more casual approach towards me. Anyways live and learn!!!! and yes ladies our biological make-up IS different for this exact reason. Nothing wrong with flirting or giving a guy subtle hints..they like the chase and if he IS interested HE will find the courage NO MATTER how shy he is to ask you out. If he doesn't then trust he's not the guy for you and move forward.

[@xixi3148]

Has this strategy worked for you? Did you meet any guy who was "right for you"?

[@zenaidazarate7203]

​@@xixi3148 xan you pls share how you do it? Do you invite guys to go out or hold your tongue and wait? Im sort of in a dilemma rn

[@AriaPringle9053]

To my younger ladies, please listen!!!! She is 💯 right!!!

[@kozmaalexandra]

So this is all true. And I stopped doing this. But the reason why I did chase men because I myself had a lot masculine energy. And I liked eating from the smorgasboard. Just like men do. So we don't have to feel sorry for girls because there are lot of women who are huntresses and enjoy it. Even though there were heartbreaks, I couldn't stop doing this until something shifted in my whole being, after a lot of consciousness and healing work, and I started to embrace my feminine energy and way of being. And from this energy it is ridiculous to chase a guy, you're absolutely right! :)

[@NohaRajaz]

Couldn’t agree more. Thank you for this!

[@dezareilopes5511]

It's about time someone said it!

[@DestinyC1020]

Right on!!! You are SO right. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Look ladies, when a man wants you, it will be obvious. If you have to make the first move, then more than likely, he wasn't all THAT interested (or courageous) enough in the first place.

[@xixi3148]

Just because a man wants you, doesn't mean you have to be with him. Why should men get to do the choosing?

[@Cheerleader644860]

@@xixi3148 ikr

[@moonwitch1615]

Girls never make the first move! Shallon is absolutely right! Listen I’m a huge believer that whoever is meant to be in your life will be in your life and everything will workout but, we can’t know that from the first glimpse, but if a guy isn’t the one for you and you play the game wrong then you will make a fool out of yourself by telling that you like him. By telling a guy that you like him or are interested in him, the chance that he will lose interest in you is HUGE. Don’t do it girls!!!!!!

[@Cheerleader644860]

Why would he loose interest though. It should make him be more interested though.

[@Christinadicaprio141]

shallon, you give me so much confidence. I love your vids sososo much!!!

[@kawaiiluvlis5805]

i dont care if i like a guy i do ask him if he want to be my bf. if he dont then i move on so i dont have to waste time with him.

[@Cheerleader644860]

You do ask or not but anyways if he doesnt then move on right

[@650Pisces]

Its all about balance!. I agree that he has to put in the work and we can't just put in all the effort 😊. I slowly started talking to a guy i like and now i let him approach me 😁. He says hi to me now and i am slowly letting him put in the work

[@darcieday8236]

Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank youuuuuu

[@srishtisharma1514]

I just got rejected by the man who approached me first,who showed the intrest in me first,who asked me out first but when I confessed my feelings he said he doesn't like me he sees me as a friend.and said he liked me as a person idk what just happened???

[@xixi3148]

That guy is a piece of shit. I'm sorry. Please let me apologize on behalf of all men.

[@srishtisharma1514]

@@xixi3148 Idk maybe he never liked me but he still treats me like a child.its confusing

[@Cheerleader644860]

@@srishtisharma1514 yeah just fuck him. He like stood you up basically.

[@lil1627]

@@srishtisharma1514this has happened to me too, they were talking to someone else as well

[@Keresechetty]

Listen to her, she's right

[@ThulsaDoomr]

Aged badly. Men don't pursue because it's dangerous to pursue. If she interprets it wrongly, it can ruin your career and life. Not worth it.

[@lisahamrick5185]

How so?

[@sarahcox7801]

I loved this video so much! I have watched and followed you since you started KZbin and this is by fair my favourite! Thank you so much. Made me realise some stuff and gave me clarity. Lots of love

[@sabrinapariag6825]

I honestly love you, you give me so much confidence.

[@eezepic1]

Words can't describe how much I love your opinions and videos

[@camilanieto8673]

Really needed this video thanks

[@donttouchthis1000]

So much respect for you Shallon

[@lambo2655]

Shy guys aren't hunters and ladies are possibly ignoring quality BF or future husbands.

[@lenalupin1314]

Never heard it like this before. Excellent video. I've learnt a lot from this woman.

[@laurapissani]

LOVE LOVE LOVE, well said!

[@alicealice6544]

I just love your thoughts,Shallon. You're amazing!

[@LuvableAF]

So…sending nudes of you and others is out then…what about sending all your survival money? I suppose texting him and not getting replies on a one sided text program, is out as well..,

[@laurenduvall8547]

I am sick of being prey

[@Cheerleader644860]

How r u prey.

[@mariaangelicajapos6328]

This is the best advice ever.

[@valeriajuarez6953]

Love watching all your videos! They're always a big help, you're like a big sister to me ❤️.

[@AnthonyHeadway]

Move away from tradition I never ask a woman out

[@Cheerleader644860]

Right I dont give a f abt this rn.

[@cookiesarelikecream]

That’s why you’re single

[@stargazerlily8451]

Shallon is absolutely right! If both men and women stayed in our lanes, there wouldn't be so much confusion or mixed messages. When a man pursues a woman he is attracted to, he demonstrates assertiveness, virility, and confidence. All traits that women love. I actually ended up marrying a man I asked out and it ended in divorce because he was just looking for someone to use for financial gain. It's ok to make eye contact and flirt with a guy you think is cute, but don't call or ask him out first.

[@keerthivijay3335]

Nailed it.

[@bebesbae4686]

Her videos are the best!

[@EG-hh6zz]

most women go with men because he ask her out but he’s not the one she wants the one she wants doesn’t want her why do women always has to settle for men we don’t want are you saying we don’t have a say who we can have as a woman I want who I want if not I’m not going to be in a relationship with someone I don’t like if we don’t go with the guy then women lose out if a man is a predator and the woman is the prey how sick is this so women got to sit back and wait for the predator to show up it sounds like we are animals

[@dnjj1845]

She's right. If the girl takes initiative, it makes you look beta and like you need help.

[@youhavenoprivacyandownnoth8289]

keep waiting, hun. men ask once. once you get dumped, you'll be unable to get a new one. then you'll come crawling back to your old one and get dumped again. enjoy.

[@Cheerleader644860]

??? I'm confused.

[@madhavikrishnan1976]

Love this! ❤️

[@EG-hh6zz]

if a man is a predator and the woman is the prey why would we want to settle for a predator they don’t care who they hurt we must have a animal nature this what animals do sleep around answer the question

[@Ashchiz]

You're amaaaaaazing!!

[@xixi3148]

Men and Women are the same species.

[@Cheerleader644860]

No were not but she can make the first move.

[@cookiesarelikecream]

@@Cheerleader644860yes we are. Did you not take basic biology? We are all Homo sapiens species regardless of gender. But we differ in certain anatomical features, behaviours and temperament

[@user-mb9jx5tx9y]

Wow love this video

[@brianasparks339]

I Love You Shallon! So awesome! 😙😙🙌💝💝

[@Tmcsinger91]

I like how you tell it how it is

[@powergirl6931]

Completely agree. Every. Single. Word.

[@natalielary5285]

Your best video ever!

[@MashaVujanovic]

100% agreed

[@VeronicaLovesBeauty1]

Shallon, you are so right!

[@devinal6183]

you're my queen

[@anadebeljak9528]

I love you Shallon!!!

[@phoenixflier25]

You are sooooo right!!

[@kmarquis4216]

Thanks you are awesome

[@dianafilip636]

Love this video!!! So true! Thanks!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@Pr3tTyC00L]

Shallon you are the BEST

[@elenagogogo]

You're awesome!!

[@fruityeva]

Thank youuu!!!!

[@brandi17able]

I agree

[@whatwho9595]

YESSSSSS!!!!!!!

[@geovannanobrega]

Yessss girl

[@heathermcdowellmusic]

THANK YOU

[@kasketbase8741]

Well shit, since no guy will make the first move on me, I guess I’m undesirable and unworthy of love and destined to be alone forever. This kind of advice isn’t empowering, quite the opposite. This is the kind of advice that turned me into a bitter resentful person I don’t wanna have to just go with the first guy that asks me out just because I want a boyfriend but don’t get approached

[@heliraz8224]

Wow You are so right!!