Why Do Japanese Date Foreigners? and NOT?

We asked Japanese girls and boys if they would like to date a foreigner in this Tokyo street interview. This time we got some different responses from before, so be sure to check out the connected video about dating in Japan too
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[@lt.dashkov1079]

At this point I'm just here to support the best content creator out there. Keep up the great work

[@kevinstreeter6943]

The truth is you never know who you will fall for. There is a history of people from different cultures connecting.

[@sven888]

From personal experience (with exceptions, of course), Japanese women are often considered highly attractive to Western men. However, it can be challenging for Western men, as they typically desire more affection in both emotional and physical forms, such as hand-holding, hugging, and intimacy. This can become an issue in relationships with Japanese women, especially after marriage or having children, which contributes to the higher than usual prevalence of sexless marriages in Japan. Western men may not realize that they are usually more expressive in showing affection because they are deeply smitten with their partners. Personally, I also appreciate mutual words of affirmation, but Japanese women, in general, tend to offer fewer compliments which may eventually become a problem. There's also a notable difference in communication styles between Western cultures and Japan. I hail from Western Europe, where open communication and freely expressing emotions are common, which is quite different from the cultural norm in Japan. It's often customary in Japan to keep emotions in check and avoid expressing them until a point where they might explode or where they give you a silent treatment (or a combination of the two). Western people are sometimes seen as more direct, and this straightforwardness can be seen as negative by some in Japan. However, many Westerners value honesty and direct communication over suppressing emotions and building resentment. Also... I grew up with the Western ideals of love and forgiveness, which can seem foreign in a Japanese context. My ex once mentioned that these values are rooted in Christianity and don't necessarily apply to her culture. I've observed that Japanese people often keep their emotions inside to maintain 'wa' (harmony) until one day they might reach a breaking point. It's important to remember that every person is unique, and these are just general observations based on personal experience. While having an appreciation for a different culture is valuable, it doesn't guarantee a perfect long-term fit in a relationship. It's crucial to evaluate your relationship objectively, especially before considering marriage. Being deeply infatuated can sometimes cloud your judgment. In my case, I too was "smitten," got married, spent over 20 years in the relationship, and eventually divorced because I was suffering internally due to the lack of affection, compliments, physical intimacy, and sex. However, I am grateful for the beautiful children that came from that union. I wish everyone the best of luck in life and love.

[@athros7624]

I have no experience with dating a Japanese person, but I’m a Scandinavian married to a Singaporean and the essence of what you’re saying is SO true. Obviously a relationship/marriage between vastly different cultures CAN work, but in my experience both parties need to be very consciously aware of the problems that different cultures and different ways of thinking can create. Both need to be able to “sacrifice” and compromise. It’s so important to figure out with yourself if you’re willing to change and willing to keep having to view things from different perspectives. For an example in my marriage we have vastly different views on how to raise children which stems from the norm of how our cultures handles raising children. These kinds of subjects are delicate and should be discussed and considered before committing, especially like you said before marriage at least. Having the “my view is the correct view” mentality will probably lead to resentment. Staying firm on your beliefs but accepting it’s not the universal truth is much better. It’s a massive task from both sides that people often don’t think about. Love doesn’t conquer everything, it also requires tons of hard work, understanding and patience.

[@maegalroammis6020]

What a dumb idea to marry someone without wanting to let them show you their affection. Most japanese are pathetically bounded to their cultural rules.

[@maegalroammis6020]

what a stupid idea to marry someone who doesn't want affection.

[@NilvaLima-mc7lp]

With due respect, i dont know why in the hell could someone be in love with such emotionless persons, they are not even that pretty compared to other asian women. Plain bodies with no tan or curves, do yourself a favor and go after women with some color on them

[@feroce82]

Most mature and insightful advice here, thank you

[@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan]

Language barrier is a big obstacle to date/marry people from different countries. But you'll get so much (not only dates but knowledge, jobs, insights) once you become fluent in a language. I hope Japanese people become more open to explore other cultures. Yes it's scary to get in a western dating culture, but it's fun as long as you know basic rules 👍

[@Mwoods2272]

Kind of hard to date someone when you don't know what they are saying.

[@honiahakaa]

If they both dont speak a common language then yes its hard.

[@Mwoods2272]

@@honiahakaaThey both speak the language of love.

[@Libellulaire]

I remember when I was walking through Tokyo at night, in a pretty deserted street there was this couple: one Japanese girl and one French guy. Since the street was deserted, I could hear what they were saying and... the French guy obviously sucked at both Japanese and English, they couldn't even understand each other about needing to buy ice cubes 😂 Imagine when it's time to talk about more important matters ? They literally cannot communicate.

[@Despond]

Never go full cringe.@@Mwoods2272

[@talesofmichele]

American married to a Kansai man here. He doesn’t speak English. 😅 One thing we learned fast is we have to ask for clarification if something hits us bad. It’s usually a cultural or language miss understanding. I enjoyed the video but only having one guy answer questions is disappointing.

[@_momosumomo]

Yeah she has at least one other video where she just asked the guys. My recollection is many of them said yes.

[@NayvieNoir]

Forget boyfriend/girlfriend: how many Japanese would actually MARRY a foreigner? Because it seems like the vast majority don’t see us as legitimate partners.

[@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan]

Yeah I hope Japanese people become more open for intercultural marriage. Though, I understand the struggle and difficulties because of the cultural difference.

[@alexander1989x]

Forget about marriage. Talk about the real problem which is rampant cheating. Not sure if most foreigners would be ok marrying someone who sees cheating as being "alright unless caught" mentality.

[@louditalian1962]

@@alexander1989xYou do realize Japan has no more cheating than America and it depends per person. Americans know is wrong and still do it. Japanese know is wrong and still do it. But Japanese cheat a lot less than westerners.

[@gordonbgraham]

In general, for Japanese women, the ability to provide financial security is one of the most desired aspects in a potential husband, foreign or otherwise. If you're an ALT, you're on the same level as an employee at McDonalds.

[@DCS_World_Japan]

I'm not sure Japanese women see anyone as "partners," rather providers of financial security and babies. Once they get those two boxes ticked they don't give a damn about the man they married.

[@hastamanana8696]

2:46 この種のインタビュー動画で、こんなに正直に話す日本人女性を人生で初めて見ました。彼女は外国の現実をよく知っているからでしょう。非常に珍しい日本人女性。

[@ALLKASDLLS-mg4lu]

まぁぶっちゃけこういうタイプの人も多いと思うわ　もしくは好きとか嫌い以前に興味がない ただ日本人は優しいから「外国人と付き合いたい？結婚したい？」とか聞かれたら気を使って「かっこいい」とか「憧れる」と言ってしまう そんで問題はそういう動画を見て影響された白人の奴らが「日本人女性はみんな白人の事が好きなんだ」「日本の男は人気がない」とか信じちゃう事 本当に日本人が白人好きなら国際結婚の割合とか上がってもいいけど未だにめちゃくちゃ低いからな

[@hastamanana8696]

@@ALLKASDLLS-mg4lu 日本人男性は外国と比較してもトップクラスに正直な方だと感じます（だからかなり失礼なことを平気で言っている）が、日本人女性は不正直です。世界中どこでも不正直な人は嫌われるため、日本人女性がモテないのは当然なのです。メディアは政治的意図から嘘を言うのがお仕事。馬鹿はメディアを信じ、賢い人は全く信じていない。世界中どこでも同じです。

[@akramsma121]

@@ALLKASDLLS-mg4lu インスタグラムで15歳の日本人に尋ねたところ、彼の学校には白人の男の子がいて、女の子たちは白人の男の子を応援するが、応援はしないとのこと。 そこで、それについて詳しくお聞きしたいのですが

[@jonnymarcia4403]

Shige is just becoming a regular on this channel now and im here for it.

[@pygmalioninvenus6057]

I fast forwarded through his segments.

[@DCS_World_Japan]

Shige's response was smart, particularly when talking about values. All the girls were focused solely on what the guy could do for them like a one-way transaction.

[@taniakaulitz6490]

They were not asked what they would offer, instead what they would expect him to be in a hypothetical chance to meet a foreigner.

[@Libellulaire]

Tbf they were only asked if they would date a foreigner, and what attracts in foreigners. They weren't asked anything else. Shige developed more because he said he wouldn't date one and had to explain in details why. Also, the fact he's a TikToker means he's more comfortable speaking to lots of viewers and putting himself "out there" on the Internet, while it isn't the case for the girls. Which is also why they all talked in a very shy/mannered way.

[@philipplichtenberger2932]

Hey, mehr Dating-Videos! Thx für die interessanten Interviews KathyCat ❤

[@MarioUcomics]

Cathy randomly dropping an I love you to the Japanese girl

[@relievo6559]

As a non-speaker, the host’s Japanese sounds superb. I’d love to know how you/she learned to be so fluent. 👏👏👏

[@BxBL85]

My gf was totally against dating gaijin until she met me. Nothing is impossible (within reason)

[@outwest1014]

The young. lady in white blouse with black trim is gorgeous!! From LA.

[@TheSourcerer111]

For me, if its foreigner, it depends on his nationality, his race, his religion, his personalities, These 3 are very important. before he is cleared.

[@JP-eu2dc]

The age old question returns

[@ian_s7481]

What, do you go through all the trouble of learning Japanese?

[@JP-eu2dc]

@@ian_s7481 if your serious about it, why not learn? When in Rome, do what the Romans do.

[@JP-eu2dc]

@@yukio_mishima the US.

[@JP-eu2dc]

@@yukio_mishima one of these days when I know traveling to Japan is guaranteed

[@SuperFlanders123]

Not surprised at all......w/ any of this.

[@_momosumomo]

The guys are reluctant… until a blonde Russian comes along. 🤣

[@gordonbgraham]

Have you ever dated a Russian? Good luck with that...

[@kanchi21]

very informative video

[@fionafidela]

😭 they’d be surprised realizing ladies-first foreigners are such a minority anywhere in the world including most of their potential partners

[@mariothibau1070]

I would do ladies first for a Japanese gal. But I would not do it for a Western gal. There is a big difference

[@atomixfang]

​@@mariothibau1070that is why you are still single.

[@mariothibau1070]

@@atomixfang I don’t care i am happy being MGTOW

[@heilong79]

As long as you gals are not dating Male Feminists I am sure Ladies first is still practised.

[@iimmortalldreams]

Exactly. Too many movies. Whatever they've experienced about Japanese men or their locker room talk about women, it's just the same in foreign countries, sometimes worse tbh due to the nature of interracial relations.

[@soullessnight6539]

Guys and girls, if you love affection, open communication and sex, don’t get involved with a Japanese person😂.

[@shizuokaBLUES]

just remember guys. Once you get married the sex stops. Never forget it.

[@corpusseofficialchannel7857]

1:42 Hello!!! Kanojo wa totemo bijin desu ne....!

[@unkopower7899]

do Japanese women know that English is NOT the only foreign language in the world?

[@freddie6190]

How did you become so fluent in Japanese was it just living there? Because your insanely fluent it’s very impressive haha

[@taniakaulitz6490]

I wish she could answer this question bc I wanna know too. I lived in Japan for 8 years and my guess is that she was raised there and probably went to the Japanese school ( not language school, regular school) If you do it as a kid your japanese becomes like a native. I had many friends who learned the language in international adult/foreigners Japanese schools and their accent were not that good and I also had friends that went to the public school as kids and have perfect accent.

[@Libellulaire]

I honestly think she was probably raised in Japan, indeed, which is why her Japanese sounds very natural as if it was her native language. Or even that maybe she's a half raised in both cultures, which is why both her Japanese and English sound so good.

[@chickenfoot2423]

i think shes mentioned before that shes german but has lived in japan for a number of years. i dont remember how many, but she never mentioned also living there as a kid so i doubt she did. shes just great with languages.. her english is amazing, too.

[@yo2trader539]

@@Libellulaire Her Japanese is near-native. But we can also sense that she wasn't raised in Japan, as we have attended school or have worked with Russians, Chinese, Koreans, Nepalese, Mongolians, Peruvians, or Brazilians who were raised and educated in Japan. I think she said she's a German who was educated in the UK. She has an excellent talent with languages.

[@Aeris_InJapan]

it's great but would be so much better with good japanese subs to learn from !!!

[@ian_s7481]

Are there any countries in the world were you are taught Japanese during your time at school? Japanese are taught English (obviously not very well or they are asleep) but you would have to speak Japanese a language you know virtually nothing about. There's not even a "We can teach each other our languages". At the end of the day it's a country that was shut off from the rest of the world until they needed to trade with it. Foreign men are like Disney World to Japanese women , great to visit but you wouldn't want to live there all the time.

[@gordonbgraham]

The Japanese aren't responsible for your lack of Japanese and they aren't obligated to facilitate your English communication. If you come to Japan, it's up to you to learn the language or you can find someone who is fluent in English. There are more Japanese who are fluent in English than there are native English speakers in Japan.

[@gordonbgraham]

@@yukio_mishima since 1988

[@taniakaulitz6490]

My husband is American and he never wanted to learn my native language to improve our communication in our relationship. The responsibility for our relationship cultural differences fell all on my shoulders bc he had zero interest in my culture and trying to understand it either. I fit in his culture or I fit in his culture. Super cool but not.

[@Libellulaire]

There are *plenty* of countries where you are taught Japanese in school. Not all of them offer it in middle school or high school, but I'm sure as hell every developed countries offer to study Japanese in university. Your lack of wanting to learn it is your fault, not theirs. If you wanna learn a language you have to seek schools or apps which offer lessons, it's not gonna magically appear to you.

[@panda_4545]

彼女の日本語はとても自然で、同じ学校の友達と喋っているようです

[@soullessnight6539]

What I take from their comments is… they want you to bend to their culture but are unwilling to bend to yours😂. Japanese are very set in their ways.

[@Despond]

Height > face at a reasonable ratio of course for lots of females. You could have the face of Brad Pitt but if you're 5'6 it's going to be harder than an average face that's around 6'2.

[@sanazi081]

Don't get me wrong, ladies first is a given

[@user-ih3jh4xb1d]

Amigos me gustaría salir con una chica japonesa guapa sin patica me gusta mucho gracias japon 😊😊😊❤❤

[@InterviewingJapan]

Japan girls seem super open to dating a foreigner from my experience interviewing them! Their biggest hang-up is the language barrier, so do your Anki reviews and you'll be fine.

[@bishop51807]

Anki reviews?

[@albin2232]

Gaijin have big noses, hairy ears, and smell like butter.

[@Dynamatrix1973]

Lose not loose. 😂

[@davidhall8049]

The language, is the only stumbling block

[@chamcham123]

Can you please make videos with Japanese subtitles? For the Japanese language learners out there that like to use KZbin videos with natural Japanese conversation. This video has subtitles in 6 languages, but none are Japanese.

[@lukejm5721]

Try importing it into LingQ if you use it

[@MikeD8318]

There is one question I have about the women in this video, maybe it didn't make the final edit, but would they be willing to teach a gaijin the language of Nihon??

[@radionmynayev865]

That's a good idea for Cathy to ask a follow up questions during the street interview. What if a guy is not fully fluent yet? 😅

[@atomixfang]

Why would they waste their time? If they can find q Japanese boyfriend they can talk to or a foreigner that has already bothered to learn it.

[@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan]

I think it's better paying for Japanese teachers if you want to learn the language 😅

[@Mwoods2272]

Too much work for little payoff

[@rochellusvz]

*I researched all marriages between Japanese and foreigners and realized that Japanese people prefer to marry orientals* ! Foreigners who marry Japanese people are usally from China, South Korea and Brazil!

[@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan]

And USA. As they're the second popular country that Japanese women get married to 👍

[@gordonbgraham]

Is that a preference or is it because there are far more foreigners from those countries in Japan than from other countries?

[@_momosumomo]

Brazil, pearl of the orient 😂

[@cottoncandykawaii2673]

of course, most people marry within their own race and culture or similar cultures

[@wordpress319]

​@@_momosumomo He must be talking about Japanese-Brazilians! I heard there are thousands in Japan! Japanese women seem to prefer tall western men from America or Australia?

[@Petteriks]

I've had that dream 😊

[@user-nu1uh4cj7i]

OMG FIRST!

[@ShandiNicole1982]

Maybe I should think about keeping my husband out of Japan…

[@markcontini5396]

Only if you don't trust the person you married.

[@dergaagung6142]

sepertinya gadis2 jepan sedikit berkhayal dalam menilai...kenyataan tidak seperti itu.

[@XeclipseXZ]

Hey Cathy wanna do a collab ? I can be there and you can just say point out if they wanna date me. I speak Japanese too.

[@yumekoono6103]

一番考慮することは、宗教だよ。縛りの強い宗教(例・ローマンカソリック)は、厳格な人は配偶者への圧力が強すぎるか、全く堕落しているかのどちらかだよ。

[@cowboyneptune4544]

It’s a psyop fellas get out of here

[@shadowdrawings_18]

She ain’t trust me but Ima gain that trust / Yamete

[@GunterD1337]

it's funny they think every foreigner speaks English 😂

[@gordonbgraham]

Most do...even those from Indonesia, Malaysia, China, France etc.

[@Libellulaire]

@@gordonbgraham Oh boy, you haven't met many French people, have you... ? :P I'm French, most French cannot speak English. Or at best they can say a very basic, easy sentence. I actually don't understand how that's possible. And I'm not talking about old people, mind you, but even any 15-30 years old will usually not be able to say anything in English. Some do, of course, but they're rare enough that it's a real surprise when you meet them.

[@gordonbgraham]

@@Libellulaire Not many in Chicoutimi speak English. However, those who make it to Japan are usually educated and have at least some English speaking ability. Every French person I’ve met in Japan has spoken English. I’ve been in Japan since 1988 and have met around 50 French people during that time, all of whom spoke English fluently. I'll count you as 51...who is also fluent in English...apparently.

[@jaguarstar7426]

It seems they only are mainly attracted to Caucasian men…

[@SusanaCanales1]

Yeah, that’s pretty much the situation in most Asian cultures lol

[@Libellulaire]

Darker skins still have that "dangerous" reputation. Sometimes even a "creepy, weirdo" reputation...

[@mariothibau1070]

Yes, black guys can go try but to no avail

[@galas455]

I find the Japanese language very attractive, though I've been watching your channel for some time I must say that you are a pretty interviewer.

[@hcm9999]

Next: Why Do Japanese Date Humans? and NOT?

[@dougjstl1]

I think Japanese girls are the cutest race. I want a Japanese girlfriend and a wife

[@Mecks089]

At this rate, it looks like Japan will lose it's identity soon.

[@darthwater999]

Not possible, the language barrier filters a lot of people

[@mariothibau1070]

@@darthwater999this, the girls said it themselves they don’t want to get into a relationship with someone that doesn’t speak Japanese. Japanese is the second most difficult language to learn only losing to German.

[@frez8141]

​@@mariothibau1070arabian , chinese , russian 😂

[@patrickhein6986]

@@mariothibau1070 Sorry but that´s not true. Japanese is the third hardest Language to learn, right after Mandarin & Arabic. German isn´t even in the Top 10. To be hounest, German isn´t realy that hard to learn. it has many similarities with English because they are having the same Roots.

[@mariothibau1070]

@@patrickhein6986 Mandarin is easy compared to Japanese. They only have 1 alphabet, Japanese has 3. And Arabic is easier to learn then German

[@Toletanus]

Very selfish people that only want their culture and language.

[@gordonbgraham]

Very practical people

[@cottoncandykawaii2673]

they are selfish for wanting to preserve their peoples existence?

[@DCS_World_Japan]

@@cottoncandykawaii2673 Their existence isn't threatened by interracial marriages you bigot.

[@Libellulaire]

@@cottoncandykawaii2673 They're selfish because they're not willing to broaden their horizons. It has to go *THEIR* way only, they don't accept anything done differently. If that's not one of the meanings of "being selfish," what is ? We can enjoy Japanese culture all we want, but it doesn't change the fact that them being self-centered is very much true.

[@cottoncandykawaii2673]

@@Libellulaire it's their country though, it's not like they are impossing themselves outside of Japan, so if people want to go to Japan just respect their ways of doing things

[@shadowdrawings_18]

She ain’t trust me but Ima gain that trust / Yamete