Assassin's Creed Valhalla (Zero Punctuation)

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This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Assassin's Creed Valhalla.
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#ZeroPunctuation #AssassinsCreedValhalla

[@theescapist]

Watch this week's Zero Punctuation episode on Spider-Man: MIles Morales - www.escapistmagazine.com/v2/spider-man-miles-morales-zero-punctuation/ - OR watch it early on KZbin via KZbin Memberships.

[@MinscS2]

Yatzhee you should look into Wasteland 3. It's essentially a Baldurs Gate / (early) Fallout-hybrid with X-COM combat with witty dialogue and pretty nuanced characters. Sounds like a game that's right up your alley.

[@thebrightideashow7587]

Love all ur vids yahtzee the comedy never gets old quite legendary sir

[@ArunPandianApk]

@@MinscS2 In one of his earlier streams, he said he was playing it. But not sure about a review though.

[@LightStrikerQc]

Need a key of Hellpoint?

[@LightStrikerQc]

@@skyfall7819 :P

[@sailoritaly]

You know, when I hear the term “Assassin”, I don’t usually think “giant burly men that storm in, smashing everything in sight”

[@merrittanimation7721]

Pff, what? Next you'll tell me guys with only hidden blades up their sleeves don't make good infantry warriors.

[@MobiusChickenStrip]

I have a dwarven assassin in D&D that's like that

[@michaelo5665]

I mean, ..if the targets dead and there was a contract it's still an assassination.

[@wolfen9113]

I like the way fire emblem 7 put it, assassin is just a hired killer, doesn't matter how it gets done as long as it gets done

[@tootiredforthis1]

@@michaelo5665 if dm'ing blades in the dark for some chaotic assassins has taught me anything, it is the truth of those words lol

[@denkokoro]

"This is Assassin's Creed. Again." The end.

[@01oo011]

I thought it stopped being Assassin’s Creed when they kicked out the creator and turned it into “The Ubisoft game”.

[@TG-ge1oh]

@@01oo011 It's not been Assassin's Creed ever since, true. Not sure if that's a bad thing or a meh thing...

[@denkokoro]

@@01oo011 I think it's more of an "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" type of situation. Fortunately, the Assassin's Creed video game franchise has been pretty consistent. None of the major installments have been universally panned thus far. But if or when one of the future entries is considered trash by the majority of critics and/or fans, ho boy. I believe we might have to buckle the fuck up for the ensuing catastrophic onslaught of opinions on a God damn video game.

[@barretxiii27]

"It's Groundhog Day... Again"

[@Hydrogoniise]

@@denkokoro I thought Asscreed: Unity was the one most people didn't care much for. After all, that's when the horrible faceless NPC glitches & memes started

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

If the definition of Assassin were stretched any further you could sell it as taffy.

[@nachoolo]

It has reached a point that it would be better for the franchise to drop the "Assassin's Creed" off their title and call it a day. Calling a munch of colonizers "freedom fighters" and making every event of History a struggle between good & evil are quite detrimental for the storytelling.

[@willowarkan2263]

I don't know, I still want to see Assassin's creed honey badger. Where the assassin's got real high and decided to induct a honeybadger and the vague implication, that somehow the protagonist in the future is descended from a honey badger, hangs over the entire game.

[@bonogiamboni4830]

@@willowarkan2263 that would link it with far cry 4 as well, given that the fuckers are everywhere.

[@Tralfazz74]

I come from the year 2020 to let you know that this happened around year Black Flag

[@willowarkan2263]

@@bonogiamboni4830 the honey badger extended universe

[@thomasparkin259]

Why do they keep setting a game series known for incredible verticality and urban stealth in places primarily defined by their relative lack of metropolitan development?

[@matthewmuir8884]

Because bandwagons and famous historical periods = $ (in their logic)

[@alfredhadesworth9253]

Assassins creed WAS about its sneaky killer monks doing some vertical urban stealth, but now it seems you're playing as a very loud Viking smashing up a field.

[@wandererwerewolf477]

Because for the hidden blades to remain useful, you can't have effective guns. That's fine for Rome and other ancient cities with tall buildings, but they were very much the exception.

[@BluePieNinjaTV]

@@wandererwerewolf477 the hidden blade works with crowds too because it's hidden. It'd work perfectly well in a modern setting but Ubisoft was to put everything in some sort of historic setting for reasons

[@dumpy8312]

They honestly could have made the Watch Dogs games just modern Assassin's Creed games

[@loneherozero]

I like to point out that when he mentions the handing out the hidden blade to random people, the expression on the other assassin is kind of how it was in the game

[@issa4767]

Yup. Then there were like. Well he has it might as well put it to good use. Can you kill some guys for us with that? Eivors all like, "Say Less"

[@Cumbisquit99]

@@issa4767 eivor, Kill.

[@Japaneseanimeguy]

On purpose or do you think this is another Unity situation, where some model textures aren't quite right?

[@simonaspalovis1204]

I think Eivor's acquisition of the Hidden blade could have been handled better. It would make more sense if initially, Siggurd had the hidden blade on his arm (because he was a lot closer to Basim and Hytham at the time). Then there might be a scene, where Siggurd uses it (maybe as self-defense, after being disarmed) and Eivor looks surprised by not noticing it before. From that point on, Eivor would be like "Cool, I want one" and then it could be either: A) Eivor trying to replicate the design with the help of a blacksmith, B) Siggurd gifting his blade to him out of brotherly love or C) building trust with Hytham and Basim so that they would gift him one, too.

[@buttlicker7670]

@@simonaspalovis1204 isn't that basically what happens? They already gave Sigurd a hidden blade, and then Sigurd gifts you a hidden blade in front of then when he returns

[@nathanahedgehog2871]

Petition to just call Assassian’s Creed games just “Creed”

[@daishoryujin95]

But then Scott Stapp will have to get involved!

[@Cartoonman154]

Sylvester Stallone: What?

[@TheCheat_1337]

Less stabbing, more boxing.

[@Anonymos185]

"Emotionally stunted murder-hobo Creed"

[@MarkDanov]

How about just "Ubisoft: The Game" and then attach a number to it whenever a new Watch Dogs/Assassins Creed/Ghost Recon/Far Cry/The Division is supposed to come out?

[@portalMaster299]

Part of the problem with the "historical accuracy" of this one is that half of the stuff is painstakingly accurate and the other half is Viking-y things they thought were cool, so you get the worst of both worlds. You can't trust that you're learning anything but you also have just enough accurate stuff to trick you

[@mekonnenmuluwork3784]

some one has seen overly sarcastic productions

[@jasonblalock4429]

@@mekonnenmuluwork3784 It's still worth bringing up, tho. Up until this point, the series' general dedication to making their historical environments as realistic as possible was one of the big selling points. Going full on "Viking fantasy" completely destroys that. And makes it seem like Ubisoft is turning into Abstergo even more than they already were.

[@powerbeard5653]

@@jasonblalock4429 you mean like the realistic magical death feather bullshit from that egypt game?

[@SaveMeXenu]

I think the big problem is that it took so much obvious inspiration from Vikings (the show) and The Last Kingdom, which were both hilariously inaccurate. The Saxons using rectangular shields still bothers me.

[@Vajrapani108]

@@powerbeard5653 no no, when talking about Egyptians, greeks, indians and almost all ancient civilization, mythology IS history. We have various records about how people did things in 10th century Europe, but we know jack shit about ancient india 3000 years ago, save for some archeological finds

[@PaxAuTelamanus]

Ubisoft Naming Committee: What should we call base upgrades? Employee of the Month: How about Supplies and... Raw Supplies?

[@matthewrichardson8162]

Ghost to Tshumia also has "supplies" that you loot from enemies. I think it's for upgrading your gear but I have no idea what's actually in the supplies lol

[@MatanVil]

At least it's not how they name the 25 different confusing editions they give to each game (this will only scare consumers. Do some money garbing companies bad at making money?)

[@bloogalooga]

Should've just been "Grind Requirement 1" and "Grind Requirement 2"

[@Evanz111]

Supplies and supple eyes 👀

[@TG-ge1oh]

@@Evanz111 Still a step up from muscly eyes

[@cybertronftw1]

Can’t wait when they really run out of “assassins” ideas and do AC: Power rangers

[@RanwulfMaxwell]

"Ok guy, we need a new assassin theme for the next game!" "Egyptians! Spartans! How about some japanese ninjas?" Throw last dude out of the window.

[@FlameLOGNET]

....go on

[@StardustLegend]

Honestly I feel like that would actually be really fucking interesting. If they had an assassin's creed set in the future or some shit with power-ranger esque weapons they could cut the crap of trying to be historically accurate

[@RobertHamiltonBean]

If they did Assasin's Creed in the future they might have to actually think up new things.

[@barneypotts9868]

DC: Power Rangers would be a much more linear game though...

[@D1ayer]

Can't wait for Assassins Creed Primal. Bunch of cavemen and cavewomen being assassins. Its just a matter of time at this point.

[@Boss-_]

A neanderthal hands you a hidden blade and says: "This weapon from ancient times. Cant figure out how use"

[@lemao2222]

So basically Third Person Far Cry Primal.

[@Rendo86]

@@Boss-_ no it's a club and you assassiate people by walking up to them and bashing them over the head. Also your friend is the guy discovers fire

[@danialabdullah29]

@@Boss-_ Correction : Hidden club

[@jasonblalock4429]

I dunno... set it in a fantasy dinosaur-land and you'd have the great basis for, at least, a Blood Dragon style short spinoff. I mean, imagine cavemen assassins parkouring up brachiosaurs to get the jump on a rival riding by on a triceratops. FUCK YEAH. Damn, now I want this game. :-(

[@robertmehal]

Vikings, pirates, ninjas, cowboys and knights. It's like a weird pentagram dartboard of gaming

[@Modie]

Don't forget Nazis for Shooters. There is technically Zombies, but I guess those are too much fantasy to count in this graph.

[@lpris]

@@Modie I don't think zombies are too fantasy considering the past few games have had you fight literal gods and there's a full Undead Nightmares DLC tied to Red Dead Redemption.

[@whatscout78]

dont forget funny space men

[@aguyhere7945]

Gotta throw in some samurai too.

[@janesmith1840]

Pentagram. Penta. Five.

[@acertaincheese2340]

Honestly, i'm suprised he didnt talk about the game telling you "This is not how Assassin's creed should be played" if you turn on instant kill on stealth assassination.

[@midnightwolfwarrior]

What massive brass balls Ubisoft has for telling you that instant kills are not a thing you should want in your ASSASSIN GAME.

[@wrpen99]

This is not how Assassin's Creed should be played? _HOW THE FUCK ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE FIRST SIX THEN!?_ edit: Okay so I started playing the game and I kind of get what they mean now. They still don't really explain it in a good way, but I think it really does do you better to leave it off, or at most put it on until you can gun it for the advanced assassination skill

[@ananousous]

Look at how they massacred my boy

[@infamousplayer8772]

Yup, guess I should play Pokémon by challenging people to a Yu Gi Oh duel then. Well shit, you learn something new everyday.

[@m.oudekerk63]

...but sneaking and murdering everything all silent like is what I enjoyed in the first two games

[@dpg154]

"There isn't really a stealthy way to raid a monastery" sums up the problem with recent Assassin's Creed games pretty well 😂

[@aungsandoonkhaing2768]

You can, but you need to call in the bois if you want to open large loot.

[@2CPhoenix]

Check it out, I can sum this whole review up with one sentence: “It sure is another Assassin’s Creed game.”

[@annadidathingy2832]

To paraphrase you a little: "It sure is another game with "Assassin's Creed" in the title".

[@skata5569]

how the fuck is this comment from 6 days ago

[@Deliveredmean42]

"Just another Ubisoft game" seems like a more fitting sentence/title. You kind of forget you can even assassinate in this game lol

[@Yuhara_rev]

@@skata5569 you can join the channel membership which will give you 1 week earlier access to some videos

[@TheLoraxshadenough]

"it's another disappointing open world ubisoft game" also applies very well.

[@PadraicSmith]

"Wearing earthy tones in the name of historical accuracy" Actually, and I'm gonna sound like a right dweeb saying this, even in the Dark Ages, people much preferred to wear colour, because reds and blues and greens were actually really easy to make, and people didn't like to walk around looking like they hadn't bathed in 3 years (which again, is another common misconception)

[@Caroleonus]

and especially if they were "involved in political squabbles". they would've worn nicely coloured stuff to show off their status

[@Tatwinus]

There is evidence that vikings really liked silk. Imagine buying something thats been painstakingly harvested by hand from thousands of cocoons and shipped halfway around the earth only to dye it brown.

[@manuellorenzo4655]

I was going to make the same comment. Even peasants wore colorful clothing and not brown stuff.

[@prcervi]

blue was a trickier color to get a hold of but yeah reds and greens were bloody easy to get/make, yellows and oranges being about the only easier ones

[@EmperorSigismund]

Don't forget not combing your hair. God forbid the Vikings actually use any of the thousands of combs we keep unearthing from their remains. Nah, just shave half of it off and let the other half get matted and nasty.

[@SpudMcKeegan]

I just realized that Assassin's Creed: Origins and Assassin's Creed: Odyssey are different games.

[@dafeels3085]

greek eypgt vs greek greece

[@kalidesu]

@@dafeels3085 But always geek

[@crimsonking6246]

Are they though?

[@jayr7965]

Barely

[@arlopullman6836]

I'll never understand why they made the assassins big, burly frontline warriors when they had the fucking templars right there. Make two series! Assassin's Creed and Templar's Oath or some shit like that. Assassin games would use the gameplay of one as a base, doing parkour and killing individual targets dramatically, while templar games would use the new style, fighting through hordes and fortresses. Just doing this would instantly make the two sides more interesting, because it would give you more of a perspective. Where are the Templars getting these kill able hordes? The assassins are master manipulators who keep orchestrating for whole armies to want to kill templars. So now it's a game about two armies across time: one crippled by strict adherence to a code that makes them largely the villains of the story, but are honourable and willing to die to a man for what they believe in; versus an army who know more, who have better intentions overall, yet kill and control from the shadows, as it turns out that some of history's greatest atrocities were created by them for the greater good. But nope, assassins are just really fucking shit at their job, as it turns out. Brilliant.

[@Darkfyreofthezenith]

@@StrazdasLT The thing about ninjas is they disguised themselves as non threats to get close to the target. About the only time it would make sense to dress as a viking would be if you were going to assassinate a viking and wanted to blend in with the crowd.

[@guitaristut]

Well because they have painted out Templars to be racists and xenophobes and it would take a good writing team to flesh out Templar characters, which Ubisoft doesn't really have but nevertheless I found Valhalla to be much more story driven than the last two

[@roguepsykerhaaker4813]

That's an idea with a whole lot of potential, good job for thinking of it. I do love the idea of an assassin final boss that just keeps running and hiding and shanking you in the back

[@ChuckPalomo]

Or just throw the whole assassin/templar/modern day shtick into the trash and start a new franchise of historical fiction using the same engine and core mechanics, which is clearly what they should've/would've done a long time ago if the name didn't sell so well and the main creative talents hadn't left the studio. At this point the Assassin's Creed part of the game is just dragging it down.

[@blueninjanoname7338]

Assasins creed: Rogue.

[@lemao2222]

Aight, wake me up in five years when they've done Assassin's Creed: Infinite where we become intergalactic travellers and can Eagle Dive from orbit.

[@barretxiii27]

That actually sounds awesome... But ubisoft would still manage to make it boring.

[@dumpy8312]

@@barretxiii27 probably turn the Eagle Drop from orbit into a damn loading screen that lasts 2 minutes every single time

[@bramvanduijn8086]

@@dumpy8312 Well, that is what falling is like. You just have to wait a while for something interesting to happen. Sadly, the only interesting result would be SPLAT.

[@justmerc1642]

Ah yes, the orbital assassin strike

[@johannesseyfried7933]

So....Baumgartner was actually an Assassin? 😆

[@vojtechstepanek7145]

Ubisoft: Vikings were a nuanced people. Also Ubisoft: All Celts were goathead wearing tree huggers.

[@Japaneseanimeguy]

Going by my beard and where I live, my ancestors would probably have something to say about that.

[@nachoolo]

They are going to have a DLC based in Ireland. I'm completely expecting for every pagan stereotype posible to be imposed on the Irish. Even if in that age Christianity was the norm. To the point that Irish Christianity plays a huge part in the History of the Early Medieval Chuch.

[@matthewmuir8884]

Ugh; don't remind me. I found most of the historical inaccuracies laughable (like the presence of a building that's a type of Norse Church, at a time when vikings were still pagan), but the way they misrepresented the Celts really pissed me off, as it's not just inaccurate; it's basically stereotype ever assigned to the Irish, Scottish and Welsh all rolled into one. Also, considering that Britons who lived in the Saxon Kingdoms were treated as second-class citizens by the Saxons and the Viking settlers, what this game's doing is basically representing a marginalized group using stereotypes while also glorifying an act of colonialism (the Viking conquests)…

[@e.y.d.6079]

@@matthewmuir8884 Forgive my ignorance, but doesn't colonialism have the idea of "spreading civilization" to the world, like Rome and Britain wanted to? Shouldn't the Viking stuff just be considered flat out conquest, rather than colonialism?

[@matthewmuir8884]

@@e.y.d.6079 Colonialism, according to the dictionary definitions I found with a quick online search, is, "the policy and practice of a power in extending control over peoples or areas." What the vikings are doing in AC: Valhalla is arguably an example of Settler Colonialism: enforcing power basically by moving into an area and kicking out the people that already lived there.

[@scottgrey3337]

You know, for the potential of Assassin's Creed to make history its setting, portraying the nuanced extremes of freedom and order in the context of humanity's most impactful moments, they really do prefer to just lunge for the most generic pop history stuff and make it fantasy.

[@wrpen99]

It's like that one really predictable joke where one character assumes someone can do something based on a stereotype, the other character gets angry over being stereotyped, and then it turns out they do completely fit the stereotype. Only the joke is also a business model.

[@manavsridharan3811]

These games are basically lowest common denominator for people who just want a new game on their new console to kill time. Can't expect much more from Ubisoft at this point. Lowest common denominator does sell doesn't it.

[@AlexRodriguez0407]

@@manavsridharan3811 the game became free on PS+ Extra/Premium Since I bought it, I decided I'd give it a try Played for about 30 minutes, uninstalled and then regretted wasting my time on it

[@merrittanimation7721]

Ubisoft: "Can't we have it both ways on historical accuracy and mindless murder?"

[@mityakiselev]

aren't those two the same

[@Ion_TheTrashB3ast]

The annoying thing is that Viking wad a job. Specifically about raiding and pillaging. Itd be like if this age was called the IT support age

[@glittalogik]

I mean... **points at most of history**

[@mityakiselev]

@@Ion_TheTrashB3ast why would anyone support this stupid book

[@TitanDarwin]

Blue from OSP actually took a stab at the whole "historical accuracy" thing in Valhalla and... turns out there really isn't much of it. They pretty much mashed a bunch of stuff from different eras together, while also low-key whitewashing parts (the whole "no harming civilians" bullshit), while also making some relatively troubling design choices.

[@DesignInYourOwnTime]

It's almost like they jumped on a viking band wagon that already ended.

[@Hillthugsta]

When did it start?

[@Grounders10]

@@Hillthugsta and when did it end?

[@showmemoviesnow]

@@Hillthugsta It started with the Vikings TV show.

[@showmemoviesnow]

@@Grounders10 It ended with the Vikings TV show.

[@ryanweible9090]

@@Hillthugsta id say skyrim, that was in 2011, and thats when i noticed it going batnuts.

[@Victoura56]

I gave up on Assassin's Creed a long time ago. The horse is long dead and rotting yet Ubisoft insists on flogging it some more.

[@GreenLantern814]

It's bones yet exist! Beat it some more!

[@stuartbagley2586]

Doesn’t mean the game isn’t good. I’m having a blast with Valhalla.

[@Gamer3427]

The franchise used to be unique and had its own feel to it, but these days you could remove the Assassin's Creed name and change a few minor things in the story, and it'd pass for any other generic action open world game out there. It's fine if someone enjoys it, because people are allowed to have what fun they can where they can, but at least for me, the franchise itself died a long time ago and now we're left with its boring brother insisting that it's the real one.....

[@Eatmycurzezz]

I remember when the first AC came out. And they said it was going to be a trilogy. As soon as I finished Brotherhood i gave up on the series. I realised that they were going to beat the cash cow until it was nothing but dust.

[@TG-ge1oh]

@@Eatmycurzezz Wait, are you...me?

[@denmark1226]

Calling it now. Top 3 on the Bland list

[@kadosho02]

This has been a weird year.

[@jamesbull4240]

It'll be exactly third again

[@just9019]

i'm going to bet both Valhalla and Legions are on that list

[@prcervi]

@@just9019 legions had the odd few interesting notes, it might make bottom of the best list

[@radicalraddish6292]

At least he managed to finish this one.

[@SAUglaz]

He didn't say that.

[@jordanj809]

@@SAUglaz whenever he doesn't finish any game, he makes a big stink about in the review so safe to say he did here

[@josha5933]

Which is weird since this one is actually longer than Odyssey And much much more boring

[@bigrigjoe5130]

No he didn't . He said in the post ZP Stream that he "Got far enough to know his opinion wasn't going to change" and then stopped. He played for 40 hours and still hadn't gone to over a 3rd of the map

[@glctcthnkr8059]

@@josha5933 I haven’t played Valhalla yet but I have played odyssey and there’s literally no way that any actual game (as in not shovelsware or steam trash) can be even close to as boring as that game

[@AlexWaff]

BUT BUT, who's the popular historical figure turned eccentric friend that helps you out throughout the entire game this time?!

[@StephenFay2606]

It's more like who isn't? Your job is to make friends with historical figures like Ubba and Ivar Ragnarsson, Ceowulf II, and Oswald of East Anglia. But the main one would be Sigurd, who is actually your brother.

[@GamerGuyOG]

Assassin's Creed back then: Join desmond as he relives his ancestors past as assassins to stop the templars and prevent the end of the world. Assassin's Creed now: Join...um...what was her name? Doesn't matter cause she's in the game for like 10 minutes. Be an assassin who is definitely not your ancestor to prevent the end of the world. Unless of course the bugs prevent you from finishing the game at all. So uh, VIKINGS THO

[@EclipseHedgehog]

assassins creed back then: parkour platforming and social stealth by blending with the crowd, eagle vision, beautiful settings from Acre/Damascus/Jerusalem, to renaissance Italy, to Rome, to colonial America, down to Caribbean sea, meet and fight real historian people from the history books. assassins creed now: rpg, level gates, lack of platforming, controlling an actual eagle, choose your gender, mostly hide in bushes, forced naval combat, fight giant mythical monsters like anubis and scorpions, fuck whoever you want right down to stealing an elderly man's wife, women were treated equally back then even though they most certainly weren't. also buy exp to level up!

[@UrpleSquirrel]

AC really shot itself in the foot, story-wise, by killing off Desmond. It completely wasted what they'd set up in the first few games, and it why the games are now a franchise and not a series.

[@thunderbug8640]

​@@UrpleSquirrel The modern-day stuff has always been the weak point for me and Desmond the Bland was not a selling point for me either lol. It hit its peak awful with AC4 though, I mean first person walking through an office reading emails, who the fuck thought anyone wanted that in a pirate game. They need to forget Assassins Creed, it’s just a dead marketing name at this point, and just make fantastical stories set in historic periods instead of cramming the god-awful AC modern day garbage into the games.

[@davidpoulton8592]

I like this idea of plotting your characters on a 3d slider graph of Viking to Ninja (stealth), Pirate to Cowboy (vehicle size), and Astronaut to Wizard (technology).

[@espio87]

The other day a friend of mine told me about the inability to kill civilians. I was flabergasted. It was the Dark Ages! Everything was fair game!

[@TheBardorp]

That's what I didn't get. In Odyssey you could mow civilians down at your leisure, but here the game gets all huffy despite the fact vikings actually did that.

[@protectbabysif]

@@TheBardorp Because Odyssey was set well before the Creed was established

[@hexalby]

Contrary to today, where everything is still fair game if you have enough money or guns.

[@blitzburn2871]

Thats like hitting up your local fast food joint and not eat something that will trigger instant guilt over your decision the moment you finish it. Why go for Vikings if you are gonna remove their identity by tossing out things they are know for and cram in shit they are not know for, like stealth.

[@merrittanimation7721]

"What do people associate Vikings with?" "Senseless murder and boats?" "Awesome. Let's take half of that out."

[@nachoolo]

"We are freedom fighters!" *Proceeds to conquer and colonized another culture.

[@hazukichanx408]

Does seem a little contradictory, doesn't it?^^ Sadly, certain superpowers (well, probably all of the superpowers) are kind of still doing it on various degrees of the sly.

[@Zeverinsen]

Ironically it mirrors US American ideals more than anything. Vikings didn't pillage for "freedom", it was their job and an honourable one at that point in time. Additionally they did trade and enter diplomatic agreements as well, so portraying them as only Savage madmen is uneducated at best.

[@warcow1]

"Well, if crimefighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?"

[@ananousous]

Foreign cultures, in a nature setting, are to be conquered

[@andyknightwarden9746]

@@Zeverinsen It wasn't a job. It was a hobby. The word Viking comes from a Norse verb or action word. It was a thing that was done, not a job that needed doing. The warrior elite went viking for shits and giggles.

[@diewildemathilde4432]

In comparison to his other reviews of the AC games, this was really mild, like he didn't try to shit on it till it suffocates

[@goten339]

I wouldn’t count that as a mark in the game’s favour still, he comes across as incredibly bored with the series. He’s thoroughly unimpressed with the game even if he doesn’t summon the same energy to shit on it that he might have had a few years ago

[@JavanPatrickReigner]

thats because it is entirely undeserving of a real kick in the nads. its really boring and more of the same, but not outright horrible. just extremely, painfully boring

[@louisrharmony]

@@JavanPatrickReigner I like it but I get why others wouldn’t. As an AC fan it does so much good and tries so hard to fix Odysseys fuck ups which I appreciate.

[@courier4529]

@@louisrharmony Please explain how it improves on Odyssey. I played odyssey and I'm curious how this would be better in any way.

[@louisrharmony]

@@courier4529 1.) they cut down and refined lots of the rpg mechanics. In Odyssey the constant loot hunt and grind was annoying and tedious. Here, you can take any piece of gear you like and upgrade it to max level over time. Each piece of gear is also unique so there is far less gear and you don’t have to constantly clear your inventory. 2. It cuts down on fluff. You can pretty much speed through the main story. The world is designed so it’s not a checklist, but rather you find things to do off the beaten path that interest you which leads to more organic progression. There also aren’t true side quests. All of the “side quests” are small encounters that will usually take you 1-3 mins max and don’t require you to leave the area. 3. Level gating is much better. In Odyssey if you are 3 levels lower than an enemy, it is impossible to take on. In Valhalla you have a power level instead. During the beginning of the game I accidentally stumbled across a level 200ish raid and I almost beat it. This also means you can comfortably explore anywhere you want without being level gated. I’d say if an enemy is 30-50 levels more than you, it is still an easy fight especially if you have powerful abilities. 4. The writing is actually good. Darby McDevitt is the lead writer who also wrote Black Flag and Revelations, which are the best written AC games. While you can tell that there is an arc or two that he didn’t write himself, the majority are at least still up to his level of quality and it’s just superb. So many well written characters and actual backstories. The story for a longtime fan of AC is truly amazing in how it respects the lore (unlike Odyssey) and ties in to every game and builds upon old threads in the story. 4. Eivor is an actual character. Any dialogue choice you make is something that he would actually say given his established character traits. Kassandra/Alexios had the problem that they were a blank slate and so you couldn’t connect with them. In one misson I could be a good guy while in another I could murder innocents and have sex with an old mans wife. Valhalla handles dialogue similar to Mass Efect and Witcher 3. That’s most of it but there’s a good amount more. I think this will give you a good enough idea.

[@danialabdullah29]

I miss the times when Desmond is the important character and his ancestors played a huge role in shaping history.

[@zephyrerazortail5478]

Same. Lost interest at 4:BL, came back cos of Origins and lost interest again with Odyssey.

[@prcervi]

i wish they hadn't so badly mishandled the future narrative, that had promise(squandered, painfully)

[@rezanators]

Ubisoft didn’t get the negative point of the saying “you either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain”

[@howlingdin9332]

A lot of people thought Desmond was boring, and since salvaging him into being more interesting was too tall an order for Ubisoft they decided to just appease the fans by killing him off.

[@Harff-_-]

A leopard wearing a scarf? That's almost as silly as putting a hat on a dog!

[@garcalej]

(British gent voice) Humph. Don’t be absurd, man. Hats on dogs, that’s just....silly.

[@taipolar333]

Have you played Hat Fall?

[@Axl4325]

Bro, get this, *A monkey wearing a suit* now ain't that the silliest thing you've heard in your entire life! Who thought that??

[@BrenGamerYT]

You hit a point I couldn't quite find the right words for: "climbing all over elaborately realized cathedrals and palaces" vs mud huts and such. Thank you for that. Ad besides, it's not about playing "as an assassin," it's about intrigue and mystery. The historical events are not the focus of the game, they are a backdrop which should provide a context for what the characters are motivated by. Even AC Unity, for everything everyone hated about it, got that right. The French Revolution is going on through the course of the game, but the main character's don't actually seem to particularly care about it. It's more about preventing figures from using it for their own gain. You're not a badass taking your place in history, you're a shadowy figure lurking in the background, preventing others from doing so.

[@ryanwelch1272]

Every time a new AssCreed game comes out, I watch every video Yahtzee has done on it in preparation for it, and boy has it fallen from grace.

[@Jame5man]

You can really see the downward spiral

[@barretxiii27]

@@Jame5man Their logo makes more and more sense with every new game

[@DarkHypernova]

I just his comment of "Something new and original" for the very first one. Oh, if only he knew back then.

[@teigansobkowich6082]

This aged well lol

[@PikaLink91]

Just wanna let everyone know, that if they wanted to be the least bit historically accurate, which Ubisoft has clearly long thrown out the window, this game about vikings should have taken place in Denmark, but according to one interview Denmark was apparently too flat and boring for them to make a game out of compared to Norways hills and flourishing nature. Well at least the two main protags are played by Danes, so there's that I guess.

[@matthewmuir8884]

They said that this game's Ireland DLC is going to convey the "dark, mysterious and druidic" nature of Celtic Ireland or something like that. This is the 9th Century: Ireland had already been Christianized for more than 400 years! They basically just looked at druids in Dungeons and Dragons and thought, "Yeah; that's what the Celts were like" while also happening to have the Celts in the main game be basically every stereotype ever attributed to the Welsh, Scottish and Irish by the English rolled into a really offensive caricature. Seriously; it's all mud-huts in forests and people wearing antlers and skulls on their heads.

[@PikaLink91]

@@matthewmuir8884 Next you are telling me the vikings in this game have horns on their helmets.

[@matthewmuir8884]

@@PikaLink91 They don't; instead, apparently, few of them even have helmets (that old media excuse of "we need the audience to be able to see the main characters' faces" even though the helmets in this period were open-faced).

[@Tleilaxu0]

@@matthewmuir8884 I suspect it has less to do with D&D druids, and more to do with some guy from marketing going to the executives with a chart and saying "So The Witcher 3 made a lot of money...".

[@PikaLink91]

@@matthewmuir8884 Well we wouldn't get epic braided viking hair straight out of the series Vikings if we covered them in helmets afterall. These days, Vikings is the popular depiction of vikings, so that's what we model them off. I remember an artist guy in Denmark made a "modern" exhibition about vikings a few years back where he sculpted representations of the bloody norse warriors that looked like they were taken straight out of Vikings as well, and he naturally got a lot of flag for it from historians, but he defended himself saying it wasn't MEANT to represent historical accuracy, but to be entertaining for the kids and teens visiting the exhibition. That THEY were whom he had made it for. In other words, draw the audiences attention with what is popular.

[@matthewmuir8884]

As someone with Celtic ancestry and an interest in history, I really dislike how the "Celts" are portrayed in AC: Valhalla. In 9th Century England, Britons that lived in the Saxon Kingdoms were basically second-class citizens that were Christianized and ultimately were to the Viking raids what the Aboriginals were to the US War of Independence (i.e. the victims). In this game that glorifies the Vikings, the Britons are portrayed as backwards people living in forests and wearing skulls and antlers on their heads while doing fantasy-druid stuff. At that point, that's beyond historically-inaccurate and is just stereotyping; in fact, I'm pretty sure those are stereotypes that have been attributed to the Welsh, Scottish and Irish for centuries.

[@emilybarclay8831]

Let’s be honest, Ubisoft wanted a game where you can split monks and druids in twain and thought no more of it and certainly thought nothing of how historically accurate it may be

[@johnnycripple1930]

Anything so the mc can be the good guy Also thanks for the info good thing im not buying it.

[@josha5933]

The celts are responsible for voodoo style "cursed symbols" dotted around the map And that's not even getting into the dlc about bloodthirsty cult of druids worshipping -checks notes- the pre-christian irish mother goddess of rivers...hmm...

[@dud5606]

Honestly, who gives a fuck.

[@victormeas450]

Aboriginals?

[@jobelthirty1294]

the word "Civvie" came up on the screen and for a moment, I forgot it stood for civilian. Thanks cv11!

[@vcom741]

0:08 I honestly really recommend Jacques McKeown series from Yahtzee, audio or written. Listened to both and they are phenomenal. Having listened to a ton of audible stuff, Yahtzee is also the best and most engaged reader on the platform.

[@PerformingNerd]

It says a lot about the series that Yahtzee says "Assassins Creed: Deadwood" and I had to pause to think if it already exists.

[@WigBeanus]

I mean in black flag you just find an assassin uniform and they seem chill with it so them handing out hidden blades really isn't that farfetched in this clusterfuck of a narrative

[@EYEZACISTRYify]

not arguing, but in black flag you have the sight/vision which technically means you are an assassin ancestor ( I still don't understand this eagle magic they are doing now, seems like someone at Ubisoft just said put drones on all the things!!!) … also they were not "chill" with it Mary Reed had to kiss their ass vouching for you convincing them you could be useful hence the " you are not welcome here Kenway" until you eventually proved yourself by destroying the observatory despite your greed. also they pay you to do assassin stuff like a hitman not a brother. it's not perfect but they kind of make a big deal about it, they even try to teach you the meaning of "nothing is true, everything is permitted." like I said it's got it flaws but it's not even a microscopic bit as stupid as "look at this guy, he seems cool, give this man/woman a blade!!"

[@paullaing5921]

I thought it was the Templars that gave Kenway his blade. They just had a box full of the things knocking about.

[@MrRebelliousNerd]

You weren't given an assassin's blade by the Assassin's, the Templars gave you a pair when you first meet them because they want to see your skills. The actual organization of the Assassin's are very hostile to you for most of the game, with only Mary Reed supporting you because you have the vision powers and paying you to kill Templars. Nothing you did was for the guild up till the last third when you have a change of heart.

[@The110014]

I have a friend at work who has been absolutely obsessed with this game since it came out.

[@wesleythomas7125]

"There isn't really a stealthy way to pillage a monestary." Sure there is. Sneak in and pinch all their shiny shit without being noticed.

[@gankhef5564]

That leopard in a scarf did some heavy lifting, Yahtzee. Really brought it all home.

[@Montesama314]

"But now you get to know how all the names are spelled." Honestly, that IS a benefit to me.

[@MrRed-su4rc]

I’m listening to this high, wondering why I don’t listened to ZP when I’m stoned, when the ending guitar sting kicks in causing a what can only be described as mild cardiac arrest.

[@TheBaca219]

The idea that ubisoft is taking "creed" franchise in the direction that can be easily adopted into a themepark is highly concerning.

[@anarchyjinflames]

You're about 4 games too late to be concerned about that.

[@ChuckPalomo]

@@anarchyjinflames And now they're making Assassin's Creed Infinity. See? it CAN get worse.

[@onedeadsaint]

[@BoserPSN]

🍦?

[@15oClock]

This is the game that Ubisoft said they need to be a success or they'll be on course for the closure of the studio. Where are those bankruptcy forms?

[@hexalby]

Really? I highly doubt AC games make that little.

[@ivanrzhanoy9389]

Well, we all know this Hollywood style accounting: "Oh no, our game has made only 0.9 billion dollars and we needed just 1.3 to break even. Do you have any idea about the size of our cocaine budget? We need tax breaks and government subsidy to merely stay afloat"

[@WesOEden]

AC Valhalla for pc is on Epic Games.

[@geraldposter1496]

I'm really glad I normally stay away from ubisoft sandbox games, because when I very rarely decide to play one I can enjoy it. "They're all the exact same with different hats" is definitely true, but when you don't play every single one that comes out they can still feel somewhat fun cause you're not burned out from playing with same damn game five thousand times.

[@andreavizzolini8201]

As always he gets all the right points. The only thing I managed to do to avoid the idiotic desynchronization due to monk slaughtering was to pace myself while doing it. For some dumb reason if you wait a couple seconds before slaughtering another civilian you still get the message but never actually desynchronize.

[@minias1444]

I picked this one up and have done practically nothing related to what I was supposed to be doing. Faffing About Creed indeed.

[@sin21ful]

Suddenly I really want an Old West Assassin’s Creed. Seems like a fresh enough setting for Assassin’s Creed to recapture the magic... Honestly I’m not the worlds best writer, but I bet I could bang my head against a keyboard for a bit and come up with a great one game+expansion send off for this series that wraps it up, kills it, grinds up it’s corpse, and fertilizes the gaming worlds soil.

[@garcalej]

They won’t and they shouldn’t.

[@mattpinkerton6562]

I loved AC 1-Brotherhood for the actual Assassin part of the whole thing, I played Black Flag as a fun pirate adventure but the fact the series is still going absolutely baffles me

[@pigbenis8017]

2:30 i just realized the white lower half of their faces was a mask. I always thought they just had weirdly big smiles for whatever reason.

[@GameKeeper28]

Now I can finally find out how Davesham Derby is spelled.

[@flaco3462]

This game was developed by a multicultural group of extremely large beards.

[@jbardouc808]

No Black Beards though, they worked on Black Flag

[@dillonpanarello5242]

@@jbardouc808 Can we get more of those beards back because that was the last actually good Ass Creed game. And that came out SEVEN years ago.

[@murky1608]

No no, it’d be a group of diverse cultures, beliefs, sexualities, etc. etc.etc. ..... AND varying facial hair lengths.

[@airglide2]

*Neck Beards*

[@rightbehindyou973]

This game was developed by a multicultural group of 80 grit pubes

[@josiaheck4865]

I know I sure appreciated the scarf clad leopard. Really broke up the colorless monotony.

[@B0rsk]

We actually have really nice beaches in northern Norway. Just too bad they're always cold...

[@piclemaniscool]

It isn't even historically accurate anymore, since they're trying to pigeonhole all these game mechanics onto increasingly ill fitting occupations.

[@LordGame2222]

I haven't played the series since Black Flag, but I'd totally buy Assassin's Creed: Deadwood

[@omarchowdhury09]

In the US we have this chain buffet restaurant called Sizzler. Ubisoft games as a portfolio remind me of this restaurant.

[@exodore2000]

At least Ac Rogue had the whole playing as a templar aspect.

[@zachattack2746]

It feels so strange. I used to be so into AC and the community surrounding it. I used to watch discussion and speculation videos, obsessing over leaks. Once I realized that the series wasn't what it once was, I gave up on it. It is just the same generic ubisoft formula over and over again. I'm so glad that I moved on.

[@hipolitoalanis443]

Let's give credit where it's due, Assassin's Creed didn't have Ninjas yet. Yet

[@radicalraddish6292]

I can almost bet ubisoft looked over at ghost of tsushima and said "Shit! Why didn't we think of that?!"

[@CMGThePerson]

Maybe if we have that Assassin’s Creed can focus on Assassination

[@barretxiii27]

The closest they got was Shao Jun from the side scrolling AC: China spin off.

[@matthewmuir8884]

They can't, because in certain periods of Japanese history, their houses were designed so people couldn't climb them.

[@Twitch_Fox]

Will Destroy the Galaxy for Cash was actually really good, listened to it and Will save the Galaxy for food while I was at work earlier this year and I loved the way pilots swear using math terms like ply short for multiply because swearing was banned. "Go forth and Multiply."

[@nuffens]

nice, liked the leopard in a scarf. hope they make a return

[@blake-81]

1:03 OH GOD! He said it again- Expect AC: Yee Haa in a few years from now...

[@nicklager1666]

As a viking i can attest to the authenticity of the words horgen borgen. We do use them. Yahtzee has done his homework.

[@CB-sv2bm]

I love how he has kept up with Jiminy Cockthroat for all open world sandbox games.

[@joncrow3228]

Damnit Yahtzee! Now I want to re-re-re-re-re-rewatch Deadwood AND play AC Deadwood.

[@zacharystewart9790]

Hahaha “tried running the steal option across my party, but it’s hard to talk with your shield between your teeth” hahahaha

[@TheOriginalMarkJones]

I thought the hooded figures were smiling really big for most of the video.

[@newuser1101]

I cannot unsee the assassins in this as having enormous smiles instead of having half their faces in shadow... Makes the monestry pillaging part very comical at least

[@jerethgryphon4244]

That said a wild west one could be cool it's about the last really interesting setting and you absolutely can stealth your way through a monestary then once everyone's dead start the raid to get heavy crates

[@thelittlestrummerboy]

I thought the assassins had their mouths open super wide and now I can't unsee it

[@Exkhaniber]

I thought that was precisely what they were doing. If that's not it, what /are/ they doing?

[@billveusay9423]

@@Exkhaniber the black part of their faces is the shadow of their hoods

[@thegoldencaulk2742]

Assassin's Creed: The franchise they keep telling me is "really good this time"

[@ridergilwin1494]

The first few were pretty good. Around the time of the American Revolution I stopped caring because it’s just not fun climbing around on colonial style buildings.

[@AngryIrishBenjamin]

The Valhalla Calling Me song and associated video made this game look way more interesting than it actually was.

[@StarkRaven59]

Thank you for your stunning rendition of a leopard in a scarf, Yahtz.

[@Frosty-kz4om]

I don't know why Ubisoft bother with all the historically accurate stuff when they're not very good at it in the fist place

[@matthewmuir8884]

Just look at how they handled the "Celts" (i.e. the Britons) in this game: it's basically every stereotype ever assigned to the Irish, Scottish and Welsh all rolled into one deeply-offensive blob: backwards pagans living in mud-huts in forests, wearing skulls and antlers on their heads, and doing crazy ritual stuff you'd expect from a fantasy druid. In reality, the Britons that were living in the Saxon Kingdoms were not only Christian (and in fact had been Christian for far longer than the Saxons), but they were second-class citizens in Saxon societies, and they were treated just as badly by the Vikings.

[@dirckthedork-knight1201]

@@matthewmuir8884 That sounds extremely painfull Also is the briton/welsh as second citizens actually real? This is the first time i hear it

[@matthewmuir8884]

@@dirckthedork-knight1201 Someone told me about it and pointed to some books on the subject. I have yet to read them and truly fact-check, but I intend to do so. According to them, the treaties and laws written as part of Danelaw (the viking-controlled areas of England) included laws saying that Britons living in those lands were not to be seen as the equals of Saxons or Danes.

[@dirckthedork-knight1201]

@@matthewmuir8884 Hmm interasting it appears that the idea that the Welsh where mostly unteached by the Norse raids by comparison to all the other British peoples was not as accurate as i originally thought 🤔

[@matthewmuir8884]

@@dirckthedork-knight1201 Oh; the Welsh did retain their autonomy in this time. I'm talking about Britons that were living in Saxon-controlled territory (i.e. England).

[@dr.carmichael530]

Can you Name a single series that comes out with a new installment every year that's any good? Because I cant.

[@FlameLOGNET]

Thanks for the leopard at the end. I hope he's living his best life

[@angeldeb82]

LOLed at the imps and the guy jumping into a haystack that turns into crap! XD

[@nevernowhere3935]

Assassin's Creed: Deadwood would never happen, because that would be fun.

[@HaloInverse]

Red Dead Assassin.

[@georgesears934]

How many Assassin's Creed games have featured on Zero Punctuation now? And I still think the hooded Assassins' faces are a giant gormless : D rather than the top half of a face cloaked in shadow?

[@nintendoentersoft]

Ubisoft: Historical accuracy! Nuance! Diverse team of beards! Also Ubisoft: Vikings totally had a warrior with an American accent that attacks by playing baseball right? Like don't get me wrong, Cody Bellinger's out of place cameo was about the only thing stunt casting wise that could get anything new out of this series, but it's hilarious in a "The corporation disclaimer doth protest too much" kinda way.

[@matthewmuir8884]

They say historical accuracy while portraying the Britons (the "Celts") using every stereotype that has ever been assigned to the Irish, Scottish and Welsh: backwards primitive pagans living in mud-huts in the forests and wearing skulls and antlers on their heads while doing sinister fantasy-druid stuff, when in actually, Britons living the Saxon Kingdoms were Christian (they were Christianized hundreds of years before the Saxons were), and they were treated as second-class citizens by the Saxons and the Vikings (in fact, sections of danelaw explicitly state that they were to be treated as inferior to the Saxons and the Danes).

[@VoidsEclipse]

*Anyone remember when Assassin's Creed was actually about Assassins? Good times.*

[@VaultBoy1300]

Laugh all you want, I want Assassin’s Creed: Deadwood. Yeehaw 🤠!!

[@johannesseyfried7933]

Could be funny. Maybe they replace the Hidden Blade with a Hidden Gun this Time? Ezio already did it, if I remember correctly.

[@ScubesFTW]

And ninjas. Gotta happen. They'll fuck it up but still worth t.

[@GalliadII]

just play red dead redemption and ass creed 3 back to back.

[@nobletenshi7659]

@@johannesseyfried7933 Wouldnt it be a hidden Lasoo ?

[@johannesseyfried7933]

@@nobletenshi7659 I guess it could be a hidden Garott wire? You normally don't kill People with Rope. Unless you are Slipknot. Yes, that Guy from Suicide Squad. Apparently he was an Assassin in the Comics that was known to hang his Victims. Don't know why they made him an Escape Artist.

[@SnuSnuDungeon]

The Ubisoft drones keep getting in there the same way we do Yahtzee

[@leohex8767]

On the plus side a ubisoft assassins creed mixed with a western like dead red redemption sounds interesting on paper. They can even make it a redemption story. Like a templar goes in to "settle the wild west" gets a slap in the face with the native oppression. Joins the assassins. And learns that order sometimes isn't worth it if the body's your building it on rise up in your nightmares. And then our un witting protagonist learns that there's no stopping the wheel of opposition, only slowing it down at best. And at the end they have to make a dammed if you do, dammed if you don't choice that the whole story has been leading up to. It could be interesting. Just Saying.

[@rlsamuel117]

I really like your books Yahtzee. Especially the latest storyline with Jacque, his friends and the psycho Div. I can’t wait for whatever you do next, even though I would finally like to find out what Jacque’s original name was and if he will ever meet the real author =P.

[@TheHappyKamper]

Can't wait for "AC in Space", where it's the ultimate realisation of Ubisoft's dream to have infinite boring side missions showered across the entire universe.

[@eugenestan2188]

Is that a Ubisoft drone. Oh shit, it's taking notes. Almost vomited my food LOL

[@orangeboi3387]

Congratulations ac 2024 is japanese based we hit 3 points in the chart with pirates in 4 vikings in valhalla and ninjas in the new one not long before deadwood

[@rohncarver3585]

fun fact if you didn't have a moat around your keep castle strong hold or what ever pile of stone you called home, you could bring down the walls by digging a tunnel under it then forcing a bunch of fat pigs into said hole and then light them on fire, the heat would be so great that the stone in some parts could warp and start to melt making the whole thing shift and crumble so you'd have a way in

[@TheCulexus]

I raided a monastery and while fighting a shielded enemy I cleaved thru three monks that insisted on running in circles around the soldier. Instant game over followed by immediate CTD. Game of the year

[@maximilianpeitsmeyer8612]

I can tell this one's gonna end up on the Most Blandest Games list this year.

[@AbiShoukathAliA]

Wait did you finished the game? Yahtzee. I heard this game has a bigger world, a way longer and more boring campaign than Odyssey, and away worse loot and grind system than Origins. Ubisoft devs are like "Well we sure can't make a good fucking assassin creed game, might as well make very very bad but functional one that everyone won't even bother to remember."

[@theescapist]

I just finished it the other day and I enjoyed it much, much more than Origins or Odyssey. I don't think the larger plot is all that interesting, but each area of the map is broken up into its own arc, with each having their own individual stories that end up tying into the larger plot by the end of the game. It's the first time since Origins or Odyssey that the game didn't lose its momentum half-way through for me, and really just felt like a Viking adventure to "pacify" England. Bringing back one-hit kill assassinations also helped to bring back some of that stealth action that was missing from Origins and Odyssey. - Nick

[@dribamboultonkeke1969]

I like when Switzerland tries to buy Big Ben

[@prcervi]

one thing i do distinctly remember from my history learning(on my own time, fu school), those who went a viking were doing so because they sure as fuck weren't inheriting much of anything back home(if anything) so out they went to get something