Old Ork Lore Is Hilarious

[@eltonjohntubola3212]

He's more reasonable than an Inquisitor.

[@finnmchugh99]

A low bar tbh

[@leandrocastello309]

He is more reasonable than the meme this fanbase _thinks_ is an inquisitor. When you actually grab a 40k book inquisitors as people are some of the most compelling and interestings characters around.

[@ERAA-on-YT]

​@@leandrocastello309 I think it depends. Books and some entries can show stupid actions committed by background Inquisitors, meanwhile main cast Inquisitors are brilliant. I mean, the Celestial Lions Chapter got blacklisted and heavy backstabbed just because one Inquisitor was pissed by a minor inconvenience with them. That was as tragic as it was stupid.

[@lordgod9958]

I mean Heldane is(was) a named inquisitor and was anything BUT reasonable in both the series he was involved in lol. Dude was a basket case

[@Snipersnake85]

Fr tho

[@andrewoost9048]

First recorded instance of an ork attempting to be reasonable and it was to acquire more Dakka

[@justinbruck9602]

Playing the long Dakka game

[@giovannilamarra]

OI GITZ ! YA NEVAH HAVE ENOUF DAKKA !!

[@hulkingelf4957]

@@giovannilamarra google asked if i need to translate what you said. i speak ork just fine google...

[@Olimar92]

What other time would an Ork be reasonable? If you can get more Dakka, than that's Orky ain't it?

[@mazz9487]

Ain't nuffin' wrong wid more dakka.

[@watchingshows6683]

That's extremely merciful by Ork standards

[@raiderrivers3629]

That is extremely merciful by warhammer standards it would also be extremely merciful if the orc killed the commander and like 40 children by warhammer standards this ork is basically a damn saint

[@gaebi]

I've seen commissars, inquisitors, and mechanicus do far worse for less

[@normanderi]

@@raiderrivers3629 he could have erradicated half the planet and still be seen as merciful, to be fair

[@Manhackarcadeisfun]

​@@normanderiHe could have have left just a kid with no limbs and severe brain damage in a forest and be seen has better than average.

[@ForticusKrorkenstein]

To be fair a lot of Orkz won't fight an opponent who can't or won't fight back. They want a fight, not a civilian flattening sim like the Marine Malevolent are find of.

[@fallentitan9811]

Only half the shipment he wanted and he’s fine with it? Because he knows he flattened their factories? By the dark gods this Ork is more kind then any Imperial Tithe collector.

[@austinbutcher8106]

*Agri worlds tithe is short 1 carrot * Inquisitor: oh no yr tithe is short * glasses agri world over 1 carrots *

[@Mortablunt]

Yeah, no kidding especially given the state of the 40 K lore. My first learned about it around 2010 or so when it was fully established canon, the imperium wipes systems out of existence over rounding errors on tax returns.

[@cullenkelley4828]

@@Mortablunt You see we lore nerds call that shit lore and ignore it because as I said it is shit lore. Recall what happened to Kryptman when it was discovered how many planets he glassed. Over a rounding error? IRS doesn't even have a navy much less the authority to glass a planet. Warhammer lore has been written by many people and not all of it makes sense this is partly intentional as not all "cannon" lore is even true.

[@TheLitRight]

@@cullenkelley4828it’s the main problem with a franchise like Warhammer, that brings on a bunch of different authors, who (understandably) don’t have encyclopedic insight into the other 700 books. They hear of worlds being wiped out, and trivialize it. No, destroying an entire world and its people wasn’t for a tax return error - it wasn’t meant to be, at least. Yes, they do it over demons, mainly because simple knowledge of their existence can allow more to come into the physical world - ignoring entirely the corrupting impact of that knowledge.

[@retardedsandwich101]

I'm calling the inquisition 🚨

[@DKforever24]

1000 bolt guns is honestly a really small tribute to not have your planet burned from an ork waagh

[@bishoprenegade5540]

per visit we dont know how often they show up

[@Notmyrealnamenumbers]

​@@bishoprenegade5540every hour

[@elixavibuddies2951]

​@@bishoprenegade5540also how many factories they are visiting

[@bbutler3230]

​@@bishoprenegade5540 knowing orks, he'll forget the minute he leaves

[@richtheunstable3359]

Orks only sort of know where they're going when it comes to warp travel. So could be never or next week

[@thehippie3610]

that orc is at least 15% Krork

[@Outlaw_Deadman1996]

Nah, I'd say solid 20%

[@StevDoesBigJumps]

100% blood axe

[@cainrahl]

Nah like 7%, even 10% is too much matey.

[@leovillant768]

Nah he just revolvef

[@МОЩЬ32СТВОЛОВ]

That would explain how he managed to count past two without just saying ‘Many’

[@lukaskoser7507]

BY MORK AND GORK that Ork is is....THINKING and NEGOTIATE !?! May the dark Gods help us for if the don`t we ar all Doomed !

[@spencersholden]

He’s becoming a Krork!

[@maninmetal7073]

He is prob a blood axe, those Mork damned gits

[@Lacucarachadefuego]

Jus’ good ol’ Blood Axe know wots

[@thebighurt2495]

There's always at least one smart Ork in a WAAAGH. It's one of the main catalysts to having one. Specifically, a smart Ork shows up and starts getting things organized.

[@usernamealreadytaken9330]

He's brutal, but cunning.

[@chaplainarkanus6410]

More humain than the high lords of terra

[@tommygunengineer9184]

*humane and yes

[@Nuclear_energy_enjoyer]

​​@@tommygunengineer9184 *Huimeane cuz orks

[@tommygunengineer9184]

@@Nuclear_energy_enjoyer I stand corrected

[@ukaszszydowski2657]

Considering the hali devices yeah they re definetly more humane and sane

[@pillarmenn1936]

More humane that 40k humans

[@CT-1902]

He was clear and concise with his demands and was even willing to compromise. Truly orcs are the best diplomats

[@NearlyH3adlessNick]

He and his Boyz believed _really_ hard that that was the case. And so, it was so! The Administrator has no idea how lucky he is.

[@jerandel6910]

A reasonable Ork is a scary Ork. When a Ork legitimately has enough intelligence to do anything besides fight or find something to fight, you really should be afraid.

[@dantreadwell7421]

Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka.

[@Blacktemplar-6996]

Ah fuck a ork that does math we are seriously screwed.

[@brothatisfunny]

They retconned him cause he was too smart to be left alive

[@omarririttenberg6038]

They couldn't have just killed him off

[@iamyourmom2]

Did they retcon him, or did they just never mention him again? Because theres a difference.

[@onionman8668]

No he was saved for later by gork and mork. They made him shiny eternal and purple

[@marialuke2116]

ye sure they didn't just... slather 'im in purple paint?

[@erichoward1977]

​@@marialuke2116 Whats the difference to a ork

[@TheUnknownSpectator]

Damn, a smart ork, this is new

[@aintsleptinninetyyears3621]

Not really, it's from the 90s. It's actually old lore.

[@g-saviour6581]

Apparently every once in a while an Ork can tap into the ancient knowledge of the krorks

[@TheUnknownSpectator]

@@g-saviour6581 Well, love learning new lore. The orks really are a special breed ain’t they!

[@TheUnknownSpectator]

@@aintsleptinninetyyears3621 I meant new to me, don’t do a hard dive into 40k lore but I enjoy learning about it when it comes up

[@aintsleptinninetyyears3621]

@@TheUnknownSpectator ah that's fair, 40k is just ancient at this point. There's always something new I haven't heard about, that why it's fun

[@Havoc10K]

Reasonable offer, reasonable reply, reasonable consequences.

[@stefschouwenaars9562]

Nogrob probably just wanted to beat up the planetary governor, but when they still managed to produce half of the planetary quota, he went, "ok, maybe dis umie gets to stay da gov'ner."

[@clnetrooper]

Old lore around orks is wonderful. Like the imperium keep sending in "advisors" that make it so the orks keep fighting together.

[@SorchaSublime]

I vastly prefer this tone for Orks than just being fully inexplicably stupid

[@marmyeater]

It's mainly the regular orks that are stupid. The warbosses are not just bigger and stronger, but smarter, too.

[@Myrdin90]

​@@marmyeaterDey more thinky dan da normal Ork, dats why dey da big boss! Ya can't clobber wat sees ya swingin'

[@Broomer52]

@@marmyeater Stormboys are Counter Culture Orks that tend to act like this. They’re usually young Orks that want to rebel against their culture so they’re structured and organized. They have coordinated uniforms, shine their boots, runs drills and use actual plans. Then theirs Blood Axes and for them it wasn’t a phase.

[@reallyoriginalname1221]

​@@marmyeater yeah. Pretty sure the longer an ork fights, it gets stronger, bigger and smarter.

[@marmyeater]

@@reallyoriginalname1221 Exactly right.

[@maskedriderweaver4122]

This is why I love old codexes, lots of great stories.

[@pmc1727]

Must be one of those sneaky Blood Axe gitz. No self respecting Goff would be caught dead with a bolt gun.

[@lindlekindle]

Could be a Bad Moon considering the Gargants

[@Maxibon2007]

GW, kind of explained away in Canon that the Orks were dominated by the Blood Axe Klan who are Comparatively rational and very influenced by Human culture but then an event called "Da Big party!" Happened and they were decimated and fell from power , this "could" be them misremembering the War of The Beast.

[@freeb455]

​@@lindlekindle or a deffskull, considering theft.

[@pmc1727]

@@freeb455 a Deffskull would weld 9 bolsters to a scorcha and put it on a harness.

[@richtheunstable3359]

2nd ed Goff ork Boyz. "Do we mean nothing to you"

[@luzifershadres]

It feels like as if he didnt hesitaded beccause of supporting the orcs, he feared the inquisition. Than he realised he is dead anyways and the orc might be the better fait.

[@chaosinc.382]

I can guarantee that what was on his mind. At least now he can say he tried to say no and lost half his factories for the trouble.

[@LastOptionPils]

As someone who enjoys 40k without playing the tabletop I almost appreciate that GW’s business strategy is to price me out of their game before I can feasibly get addicted to it.

[@Fisthammet]

Looks at 3rd party guard models and 3d prints of absolutely everything else. _Sure, priced out._ 😅

[@iplaygames8090]

​@@Fisthammet3rd party isnt allowed by their EULA. Well like anyone cares about EULA but still

[@Eye_Of_Odin978]

​@@iplaygames8090 What're they gonna do, send the minifigure-police into my house and arrest me for my 3D printed models? Good luck. EULA is actually totally unenforceable for a game like Warhammer because it doesn't use any online services whatsoever. They literally can't tell you how to play with your toys in your own house.

[@iplaygames8090]

@@Eye_Of_Odin978 but they do organiye tournaments and sanction official games

[@hanchiman]

The Orkz is the only remaining old school "Silliness" of 40k back when it didn't take itself serious and had a bit satire to 80's action sci fi heroes. Orkz was based on the British Football Hooligans

[@DuskEalain]

Honestly it's why the Orks are my favorite, when everything else is considered super serious, here you have some space football nobheads going around opening windows in space to let air in. I think it's doubly ironic given when they tried to make Orks more grimdark and serious with War of the Beast... most of the community just went 'nah, empyioom proper gandaz m8" and kept Orks as the goofballs they rightfully are.

[@hanchiman]

@@DuskEalain I actually notice "Da Orkz boyz" is slowly starting to turn "Edgy dark" by showing more blood and savagery and Mad Max style equipment, but thanksfully still kept their cockney accent

[@DuskEalain]

@@hanchiman I've started to notice that a bit too, fortunately on the modelling side of things I can just choose to ignore that and kitbash/paint the way _I_ like my boyz.

[@hanchiman]

@@DuskEalain think the change started somewhere in early 201X

[@the_WAAAGGHH]

"WAAAGGGHHH" - such wisdom🥹

[@wildsalmon8410]

“WAAAGAAHH”~ such merciful intuition🚬🙂‍↕️

[@r25012501]

Orks are actually the more happy race😂

[@shadowki5687]

Nogrub: *actually makes a non-violent offer instead of just violence* Administrator: death before dishonor, xenos scum😡 Nogrub: I was hoping you'd say that😈

[@Thalanox]

It looks more like extortion to me, but yeah. The fact that the orks genuinely just want to fight makes them great to slot in as antagonists.

[@SrRurik]

@@Thalanox when you're occupied by a force of war obsessed hyperviolent giant mushrooms, just extortion is a pretty sweet deal

[@DeathKorpsMailman]

He's more merciful than the Administratum when a planet doesn't make its tithe. I can't imagine them being cool with, "Oh sorry, can only do 50% this year!"

[@phoenix-kingz]

Old lore Orks especially blood axes were a well n true different breed

[@philiphockenbury6563]

Dat's why da greenies are the best! Weze the thinkyest and the fightyest!

[@Negan-lo7yr]

I would like to see the Imperium be a bit more merciful on other races, a ork/imp alliance versus the Tyranids would be really cool

[@sgg3586]

The Ork was merciful because he was at least smart enough to realize "I get 500 guns now, and by the next visit they should be back to making 1000. But if I just wipe 'em out now, then I get 0 boltguns. And 0 boltguns means less fightin, and that's just not Orky."

[@identity7536]

You know who won‘t be so merciful ? The next imperial fleet visiting sometime in the future and realizing he gave 500 holy boltguns to xenos.

[@travisbishop782]

Tha big golden git can shove it up iz throne!

[@chaosinc.382]

Tbf it was either 500 boltguns or 6 Gargantz flatten everything. Considering PDFs dont tend to have anti-titan weapons, that planet woulda been toast...

[@informationyes]

Departmentum munitorum "where our are ten thousend bolt guns in your TITHE!!!" "We can only provide 5 hundred as our factorys are in ruins" Munitorum "its a rebellion then?"

[@cletusburgerboy9143]

The one Ork that can count past 10

[@chongwillson972]

@cletusburgerboy9143 apparently, he can count to thousand.

[@АриунболдЦоодол]

NOGRUB is a G for that!

[@patrickdees5256]

Bro after roughing up an imperium world, "Eh. I think you've learned your lesson," and dipped.

[@angelangelis8362]

He was called Nogrub, because he was often seen rubbing his noggin. Other Orks thought he just got bonked on the head a lot, but the truth was he was THINKIN.

[@LonelyMinnesotan1]

why are orks frequently more merciful than the humans...

[@soulshredder1368]

An ork that can think and make somewhat fair deals terrifies me

[@JWP-56]

Bro just wanted guns and someone to take care of his friend, what a kind and gentle Ork 😊😊😊

[@Warlord_Gruktak_Rukrak]

What a respectable fella WAAAAAGGH for Nogrub

[@nocturnaljoe9543]

Hez got big brainz.

[@SpencerHHO]

On the one hand, elevating and supporting an Ork that can think and show mercy could have enormous benefits in terms of using them as a cudgel against other threats. On the other hand an Ork smart enough to do that could be the single greatest threat imaginable.

[@aslightlysanescientist3874]

Dwarves would've wiped out the planet over getting just 999 bolt guns

[@Alpharius_Dominatus]

The ork might secretly sips a glass of tea every time he speaks

[@kasendaniel3896]

Crazy how that ork is clearly one of the most merciful characters in the series

[@joseph196]

I remember this quote in the 5th edition Ork Codex, glad to finally get the context.

[@kennymartin5976]

Nobgrub being like "oh dang i flattened the boltgun factories, thus hampering the boltgun tithes...ah yeah, my bad...carry on then" is perhaps one of the most reasonable takes in 40k. Like its still evil, but a reasonable sort.

[@lostlambv2939]

This git is crazy

[@inductivegrunt94]

He truly is reasonable. 500 bolt guns is half of what he asked, but that's because he and his boys smashed all the factories. So it's a good deal considering the circumstances. Man I love old 40k lore. The old Ork stuff was just the best.

[@thijsdeboer389]

Somehow this is way more terrifying than the "JUST KRUMP 'EM" ork warbosses Nogrub got some serious green matter sloshing around in his noggin

[@ADB_UWIM_2807]

This is pretty common actually. The Gothic Armada ork intro makes mention of it. That they can't be negotiated bought save with weapons that will eventually be used against you.

[@oriondragonstar7057]

I would be an Ork in the Warhammer Universe, looks like a lot of fun

[@lordlucius1341]

Minotaur: what do you mean you paid your taxes to an ork?!

[@9Hatman]

would you call it... Orkupation

[@adammoore3703]

I can just feel da Ork boss sayin it now... "Now gett thos Worksoops bak up an runnin, I want da rest o' those Shootas by da time I get back!"

[@bataton7733]

Im all for Orks having serious lore and whatnot..... but damn it keep making funny shit like this

[@HazelvonNuss]

He thinks mechanicus wears red, that means they work fasta xD

[@arizonadawn3094]

i mean hey at least he kept his word, unlike 97% of Orks

[@mikepowell8611]

Even by human standards that was downright reasonable. Plus just give them "Bolt Guns" if you know what I mean...

[@joshwimbley698]

This really good lore, we need this man with gazgull to deal with khorn because i know angron aint going down without a fight and hes gonna need all the help they can get

[@ItsChevnotJeff]

Boss demanded 1000 guns, got half, admitted it was his fault for destroying most of the factories, and lets them off the hook atleast this one time

[@ScholarlyScalawag]

Nogrub the merciful Nogrub the wise Nogrub the reasonable Nogrub, friend of the humans

[@the98themperoroftheholybri33]

To be fair you could've just given the Orks 100 boltguns and they wouldn't be able to tell, they don't have a number beyond 5, anymore and their word is "lotz" because no self respecting Ork has time to waste time counting, not when there's fightin to be done

[@hahaha1171]

Look after my mate Gorefang for me. Wait what 🤣

[@Survivingbutbadly]

He gets lonely

[@Aravaganthus]

Vast improvement over the kind of occupations Orks did during the War of the Beast

[@bearVshark100]

That probably means he would have been happy with 100 bolt guns. Always start the negotiations higher than what you actually want.

[@MFallion]

An Ork rhat thinks... Am I the only one scared by that though?

[@billyherrington5112]

He will be next beast

[@revanamell1791]

That Ork is actually super chill.

[@marmyeater]

Good thing the Old Ones remembered to make them merciful and willing to collaborate with other species.

[@grimsgraveyard3598]

When an Ork has mercy and the intelligence to sbow you not to question his demands is bordering on a Krork.

[@kickbrosmasher5155]

Itonic a ork that is more humane then many of the current leaders of the imperium

[@ZabuzaMomochi03]

I love how Orks have an Northerner accent haha 😆😆

[@minhducnguyen9276]

And they know gunboat diplomacy, absolutely British.

[@TheRealArmor]

"Nope." "Huhuhuh." Nogrub the CHAD

[@wesleythomas7125]

"We need no shelter! We are duperior beings!" [Moments later] "We need no ride!"

[@andrefloresca1324]

Its all fun and games until the books cover the human farms

[@n0isyturtle]

"Oy Nobgrub, I meants ta ask ya, how'd ya git yer name?" "I once woke up an der wuz a grub on me nob. Simple as."

[@4hire565]

Hot damn.. Orks have more common sense that the damn Imperium!

[@wastedviking6280]

Back when the writing was witty and unrivaled.

[@lyntonfleming]

Imagine being the guy who has to explain to the Emperors sons why you are currently making weapons for Orks...

[@austinbutcher8106]

Random factory worker: *duck tapping 4 shootas together * hey squig meat is better than corpse starch and I get a squig steak for evry shoota I make

[@alanwestmoreland6152]

*you were right about one thing, the negotiations were short* - obi-wan Kenobi

[@sombodythatyouusedtoknow9046]

DAT'S MORK'S BIGGESTEST FOLLOWER-BOI DA SECOND MOST CUNNINGLY BRUTAL ORK EVER

[@thequestbro]

Nothing that happens in second edition is canon but this is a fun story.

[@bonebard6178]

I think it would be fun to have more blood axe stories like this

[@psychobeam99]

I mean. Intelligent Ork. Usually, they just slaughter everyone, but hes using them to manufacture weapons.

[@Ilamarea]

This should totally be a thing. Orks should be like the predator. If you refuse to fight them, they should get frustrated, throw a tantrum, and walk off. If a planet just surrenders... It should totally confuse the Orks. Of course, there would be casualties because Orks are slow... "Dis' the easiest fight evah, boss!" "Dat's coz dis ain't fitin! Yous jus killin und... vandalizin." Heck, if you do this, the Orks should start growing smaller in size until they become dormant, sprouting in times of peril in feral forms - like a safety kill designed by the Old Ones once their foes were defeated. So the best way to fight an ork is the same way to fight trolls - stop feeding them xD

[@blacklighthologram5339]

All hail nobgrob the great and merciful one!

[@RustMonsterMilk]

The music and effects drip with 90’s sci-fi nostalgia.

[@scottieknows9943]

Then the inquisition comes and sees youre making weapons for xenos and flattens the planet

[@hugmynutus]

Damn, an ork being more logical than the administratum

[@gentlyusedpencil213]

I would love more Orks like this!

[@bobbyshmurda6094]

It’s canon Orks sometimes express Krork genes.

[@7I7IVN]

Loving the Ork content. Tis my grim bias, but I can't get enough of them

[@minhducnguyen9276]

The Orks understand gunship diplomacy,

[@BewareTheCarpenter]

For an entire planet that's quite a modest tribute. Whose Gorefang? I'm guessing a good friend who needed medical attention and so maybe that was the main point of the 'raid' and getting some tribute was just to save face in front of the boys?

[@razorsedge64ify]

Honestly i love orks that arnt just unga bunga dumb funny. I like older iterations of orks that are brutal, quirky but act like an actual species

[@painthegreat]

Holy crap he’s close to become a Krork

[@ZelZarKi]

Must have been a Blood Axe

[@bengonzalez5215]

I would follow nog'rub into the fires of the warp without hesitation

[@liamdanger6774]

Brotha is the Gandhi of orks

[@schizosamurai8840]

To be fair, they can also be subject to old lore that wasnt really set on what is what exactly.

[@sailed7972]

hey man i just wanted to let you know, your content is fantastic and i watch it all of the time. never stop making videos!

[@Erakius323]

This ork is more understanding then Imperial Tithe Collectors.

[@tyrant-den884]

A fine example of orks being more logical than humies

[@amosmcneal]

man I love the orks WAAAAAAAGH!!!