At 55 I found out I'd been living with a covert narcissist

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you so so much for all your birthday wishes, support and for those who have supported me through the 'Super Thanks' donations!! I truly appreciate your love and kindness. I was hoping to reply to all your lovely comments. But after an hour of replying to as many comments as I could, I realised I wouldn't be able to have the time to reply to everyone. I'm really sorry if I've missed you out 🥰 Thank you also for sharing your stories and experiences, I know how hard this journey can be. Wishing you love and strength on your healing journey. Wishing you all a restful and blessed Sunday ❤❤❤

[@katrina4013]

After a 30 year marriage during which I recognized that my husband was a narcissist but I was dependent on him financially had high anxiety and low self confidence I only escaped after I found out he cheated with a 24 year old. I’m getting divorced finally now at 52. I am looking for work now and that is the scariest part.

[@SoulCareOver50]

I'm so sorry that you're going through a similar experience. I know how painful and scary it is. I wish you the best of luck on finding work and starting your new life. Believe and yourself and know that you can get through this. Sending you love and strength ♥

[@Dr.DorisTorres]

@@katrina4013 you are stronger than you think. You are worthy of a good and happy life. You will get there. The universe has your back. Always. ❤️✨💫

[@gabbymiles5655]

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@Raydrelle]

Hb. I am 57 as well, and have discovered peace in my aloneness

[@tracywood9301]

You go girl, life is going to just get Better & Better, Im 61 been there. just keep trusting in you. If your Scorpio ( sad fact we tend to attract Narcs & abusers ) but we eventually get on the right path & then theres no going back ❤ from Birmingham 🇬🇧

[@CrucialOlive]

Happy belated birthday! I have a very similar story, as so many others do. You are not alone. Subscribed.

[@ronawaldon9060]

This resonates with my experience. Learning about covert narcissism made so many things clear and helped me so much

[@Dr.DorisTorres]

Same here 💪🏼❤️🤗

[@lawrencedavis5459]

I have a long history of attracting narcissists, lost a lot over the years, I went back and examined my childhood and understood the mechanisms behind it. When I came to my awakening and learned to see the red flags I turned my back and walked away from relationships for good.

[@faery_realm]

I’ve been through very similar. I’m currently going through a horrible marriage breakup at 60. I have cancer and my mum died a year ago (two months before my cheating husband ended our marriage. All blamed on me of course). You are not alone. We will thrive and find our true path in life. I resonated with all your words! Xx

[@SoulCareOver50]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through with your health, mum and ex. You so deserve so much more! Wishing you love and peace as you recover emotionally and with your health ♥♥

[@gabbymiles5655]

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@faery_realm]

@@SoulCareOver50 thank you beautiful soul xxx

[@Kendrach]

Sorry you're going through this.

[@faery_realm]

@ thank you 🙏

[@realsteelmagnolia]

Happy Birthday!!!❤ You're not alone! Lots of us in the same boat, and all is well. We have no one to please but ourselves! God is good. Keep listening. ❤

[@tonyhall8495]

His loss Shirley, any decent man out there, would feel proud to have you on their arm 😉, your a beautiful Spirit, both inside and out, better times ahead 🤞👍🏻😉🙏🏻🩵 xx

[@reginapolo3357]

I discovered my ex husband was coovertly abusing me when I googled "How to.communicate better with your spouse"..somehow, the first artilcle talked about emotional abuse and a whole can of warm was opened. It was rough to have discovered that. I left 3 years later (quietly) and niw 10 year later life is so much better.

[@ytmee360]

Happy Birthday!!! I was in a very similar situation at about the same time… I’m having a cup of tea with you in my mind … be well and ENJOY 🎉

[@rebz-wt6bp]

Blessings to you. Im getting out of a 34 yr marriage to a narcissist. It is the single toughest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I’m doing it day by day. Finally getting to know myself. Hang in there and thank you for sharing your hope. Sending my best wishes to you ❤️

[@josearchaga7697]

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Also, I hope you had a wonderful birthday! Regards, JA from Miami, Florida

[@johncee8084]

Hey. You keep putting yourself out there. I have to believe it's liberating and scary, both at the same time. You're doing great. Stay on the path going forward. Rest on the bench for a few as you need it (metaphorically speaking). When getting involved in any new relationships -friend or romantic - stay true to your inner voice for any red flags. It's great that you are documenting your journey in your journal and these videos. I wish you continued success on this journey. Peace John

[@trrahr5496]

❤ " rest on the bench for a few"

[@dianepearson3840]

Good for you darling, from America. I've dealt with a covert narcissist. Actually, I've known her my whole life, she's, my sister. Growing up I never really felt loved by her. You Tube also taught me about covert narcissism. Now that I'm older and had to deal with her at the death of our mother, the battle was real. I put the pieces together that this is what I've been dealing with, with her. Even tho I had to deal with her to put mother to rest, it's been hard to shake the memories. I had to realize that she has a problem and forgive her and get on with my life. I hope you continue to grow strong and believe in yourself! You're doing a wonderful job. You have a sweet spirit that many don't have and that may make you an easy target. You are the wiser now!!! Keep being sweet but resist the nonsense of these ppl! God bless you.

[@Deia2701x]

Cheers from Brazil 🇧🇷! I am 55 and I’ve been through the same story of a narcissist relationship. I hope to get free next year, I’m feeling sick, that’s so sad . Congratulations for your birthday and for your inspiring videos. My best wishes for your new life! Take care ! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎂🥳

[@janmariebaldwin1415]

I am just about to turn 53 and my life has been the same. Last week I stumbled across the most relevant meme on the internet,it said “If you are such a people pleaser, name the people who are pleased by you”. Let that sink in for a moment, then realise that no one was ever actually pleased by you giving up yourself to them 😔 Now go and please yourself and appreciate yourself for it 🥰

[@tansysilva8594]

So happy for you to be on your healing journey. We all deserve to be loved. Happy birthday to you!

[@bridgetb9899]

Happy Birthday ❤ thank you for sharing your experiences...It helps me. ❤

[@realsteelmagnolia]

Blessings to you! Happy Birthday ❤🎉😊

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you so much for your support and generosity! I truly appreciate your support. Many blessings to you and wishing you a peaceful Sunday! ♥♥

[@nicoleleon6597]

You are beautiful and thank you for sharing your journey with us. ❤

[@Dr.DorisTorres]

Happy 57th birthday Shirley! ❤🎉✨💫

[@SoulCareOver50]

Dearest Doris, thank you so much for your generosity and kind, kind words. I truly appreciate you for being here on this journey with me. Wishing you love and strength on your healing journey too ♥♥♥

[@Dr.DorisTorres]

@ thank you so much. ❤️ We will keep on doing the deep work it takes to move forward in our lives and come out better and stronger than ever. ❤️🙌🏼✨🤗❤️❤️💫

[@pennygardner8496]

I was guilty with my looking past red flags.I wasted so many years and was isolated .

[@pillaroflight4363]

Happy Birthday 🎉 When you first started posting, I wondered if that was your experience. Maybe that is because that is the lens through which I view things now. I left at 58 years, was homeless for a while, financially devastated, among other challenges. I am almost 5 years out now. Things do get better, journaling helps make sense of our feelings and what happened to us; particularly if you experienced gaslighting. Celebrate you, and your special day, you are worthy of being celebrated. Love yourself as fiercely as you once loved the narcissist. From a fellow survivor 🇬🇧

[@pennygardner8496]

Happy belated birthday .Solitude with peace ,is a gift.

[@encouragingword-d5h]

What a beautiful present. Learning to love yourself and sharing who you are with the world. I'm looking forward to being inspired by your journaling process. Peace and blessings to you.💝

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you. I'm so happy that sharing my story is inspiring so many people. I'm planning to share more about my journaling process at some point 😃 Peace and blessings to you ♥

[@odettehokemeir4425]

Congratulations on taking your power back and now you can be the beautiful, strong, kind person God made you to be! Enjoy indulging yourself now 😊 the peace of mind is wonderful!

[@johannapurnell608]

Yes Gurl! I was married to a covert narcissist for 25 years, I didn't know....after I realized...I got a divorce and I'm a survivor of ME❤ .

[@redbone8844]

Omg I seen your other video no wonder you felt like you couldn’t be yourself I’m 2 years out of a nine year toxic relationship with a narcissist!! Keep THRIVING BEAUTIFUL ❤

[@SoulCareOver50]

Gosh nine years?!! Well done for getting away! It must have been tough? Sending you strength and the biggest hugs for your healing 💕

[@standswithafist8]

Happy Birthday! I’m 61 years old and life does get better with age. In my 50’s, I started realizing I wasn’t living my life for me either. I started doing what I love to do and now I’m more fulfilled than I’ve ever been. More confident, content and loving life.

[@Jaythecook]

Happy birthday beautiful sis. We love you here in South Africa

[@christinegarcia-luna]

Happy birthday birthday! 🎉 I love my husband after 12 years. He was a kind person to the rest of the world outwardly, for example, used to compliment me to my family and friends, but I know that that was about him. It was about him looking like a nice guy. When I left, I knew that I was going to have a nervous break down front of my children. That’s the reason I left. That emotion abuse was so subtle. I’m proud of you! ❤

[@SoulCareOver50]

I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I know how you feel, as outwardly they present such a perfect personality. But behind closed doors, we know what they're really like. I wish you peace and love as you go through your healing. Thank you for your birthday wish ♥♥

[@jonniesantos]

Cake!! 🎂😀 Good video and you come across as totally authentic. Lovely. Thank you.

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you so much for your support and generosity! I truly appreciate you for being here and for your kindness. Many blessings to you ♥♥

[@eugenepat61]

It's an achievement (hard-won maybe) to see life and speak about it as you do at a relatively young age. May that journey go on for a very long time... Thank you for sharing!

[@blokeabouttown2490]

My birthday is also in November. Happy birthday to you, I wish you all the best and thank you for sharing your journey so honestly.

[@nataliakrzyzanowskacoyner8384]

Happy birthday! You are certainly not alone today❤

[@soulseaurchin2739]

....btw, you look fantastic for 57 !!! Whatever you're doing for yourself, KEEP DOING IT.

[@javalily]

After 12 yrs, I did too. Huge weight lifted off my shoulders, but unfortunately, I'm still stuck financially with a special needs child. I'm happy you got free, I'm working on it.

[@kcarson125]

Happy birthday, Shirley!🎉 I'm turning 57 myself in a couple of weeks. Just discovered and started following you. You're inspiring me to get out there as well 🤗

[@SIERRATREES]

You give me courage to go out and seize the day. I find relatives can be painfully toxic, and Im best removed from them. If the other choice is peaceful solitude in quiet reflection, the choice is easy.

[@pallavidawson7933]

Wishing you a happy birthday and a peaceful time ahead 🎉💐

[@daveorama3188]

I think you're a beautiful person. Happy birthday! Stay strong

[@TartarianTourist]

Happy Birthday! Thank you for sharing your journey🌟

[@Wellbeing-ub6js]

Happy 57th Birthday and Many Happy and Peaceful Returns! 🎂Thank your for sharing another heartfelt video. I've recently started to watch your videos and find them very inspiring. There is a lot of pressure from society to be married or in a relationships even if it might be toxic, however being true to oneself as you are is more important. Your videos are inspiring others to be their authentic self too.

[@leesalovely2782]

Thank you so much for being a light in the darkness ❤

[@GodiscomingBhappy]

55 and looking like a million dollars lady. ❤❤❤ smart and resourceful. i feel inspired. thank you for sharing your journey. God bless you edit 57???? where??? 😂😂😂❤❤ HAPPY Birthday, sending you love. Expat in Portugal❤

[@dianegowland5866]

Happy birthday ❤

[@TheQueensWish]

Happy Birthday Shirley ❤

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you so much! 😍

[@Ilovemusic793]

Thank you so much for starting this channel and sharing your experience!!!!

[@johannapurnell608]

I love your channel and thank you for sharing your story. I'm in the US. HAPPY BIRTHDAY🎂🎂

[@violetwindsong]

Happy Birthday!!💝✨

[@missmagillicutty6721]

Happy birthday Shirley!!🥰🎉🎊 Thank you for these videos and God bless you!!🙏😊❤️🕊️

[@2009pix]

Wishing you a blessed and beautiful birthday

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you for your kind words, I'm really glad to be with you as you go through a difficult time. Much love to you too and wishing you strength as you go through your difficult journey ♥

[@faroutgolf3650]

Happy Birthday Youthful lady. Your soul is genuine.

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you for your kind words 😊

[@lyciamessersmith5348]

Happy birthday! Your bravery is amazing!❤

[@chilloften]

I get understanding by listening to others experiences of the same things I cannot usually describe clearly. I like your nature of being and hope the best for you.

[@adamday2067]

Love all your videos. So much of what you say has impacted me as well. Th one thing I miss so much being over 50 is intimacy and regular love making. It seems to me now, that being over 50 has relegated me to being nothing more than a 'lodger', within a marriage devoid of any physical intimacy.

[@jackiecarter5193]

Happy Birthday!

[@dorotheakenneweg]

Happy Birthday 🌻💐🌷🪷 "How can we not celebrate life?" 💕🍂

[@lareelongtin5129]

Happy Birthday!! 🎂🎈🎉😀💗💃 Yes, save up for that camera that you want! You really deserve it!'📸❤️ It was so eye-opening once I learned about narcissism, etc, and that, in fact, wasn't brought on by me, and that I didn't deserve it! Dr. Ramani taught me so much about this subject in her wonderfully informative videos! 😊💕

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you for your birthday wishes and your kind words. It was actually one of Dr Ramani's videos (I think the interview with @lewishowes) that came up on my feed. I ended up watching a lot of her and other narcissist videos 😍

[@sunlight8299]

Happy birthday 🎉🎉🎉❤ And congratulations on growing and transforming from the pain.

[@MsBlueRyans]

Happy Birthday beautiful and strong lady!

[@jbellbird9050]

Happy Birthday, i hope you enjoyed your day. I recently had my b'day alone and I was ok with that. It's good to follow your journey and know that we all have our struggles in life. Also we can have little victories when we cope with difficult situations. Narcissists are wolves in sheep's clothing. They're a very challenging type of person to deal with. They usually never change although they sometimes alter their persona to suit the situation. I try to enjoy life 🎉

[@BloominMoonGlass]

Happy birthday! I hope the next year will bring you more healing and peace.

[@cosmicjournal]

Scorpio or Libra? Happy Birthday! thank you for your videos. I’m not able to send a monetary gift right now, but I can send you an astrological gift. Let me know where to send it. 🦋 the way you describe personal transformation and authenticity is (in astrology) described through Scorpio and Pluto, which we all have in our charts (not just Scorpio Sun sign). But planets in Scorpio intensify the need to reveal your authentic self. I appreciate everything you do thank you.

[@TheSoulProponent]

Happy Birthday! 🎉🎈🎁 You look young but wise. Your attitude and the way you carry yourself are a breath of fresh air. ‘Preciate your willingness to be vulnerable sweetheart! ❤

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you for your kind words ♥

[@reneemeston7119]

Happy Birthday girl😊 I subscribed to your channel a few days ago. Yep, I'm going through narc abuse too. It seems to be an epidemic. Sooo many people are experiencing this hell that we don't deserve. I'm with you in spirit. Thanks for your videos. Its like we are all connecting with one another through videos and comments section. I'm sending my love to you and everyone here. We are strong and united. Keep going. You are doing better than you think. Renee from Southern California, USA

[@lusobridgebymiriamwaltrick7667]

Happy birthday and all the best!!! I've been following you for quite sometime now and I really wish your channel becomes a huge success! 😊❤

[@AnnAndNala]

Wishing you a most beautiful birthday. 💗I can relate with you in so many ways. I've been through a very similar situation and found that I've chosen a few recent birthdays to spend on my own. It's been very freeing and liberating and actually happier than times when I've celebrated in exotic locations and expensive gifts. I found that the peace and serenity celebrating on my own was an extra special and profound personal gift.

[@redbone8844]

Happy belated birthday beautiful ❤

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you so much! 🥰🥰

[@roseh1132]

Happy birthday 🎂 beautiful woman from Australia 🇦🇺

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you being here 😍

[@amdonut8091]

Just found your channel. Really enjoying your insight, thanks for sharing what you have learned in life. Thank you and great luck.

[@Annakiwaszkiewicz]

Happy Birthday! Treat yourself to a nice meal

[@Kendrach]

Happy Birthday. Best wishes for a great year.

[@danafindwell]

Happy birthday Shirley!! You are such a strong, kind, brave person and deserve to be in a really good situation now. Thank you for sharing your experiences, i really appreciate your vulnerability.🥰❤🌺🌸🌼

[@v.vi.6332]

Happy Belated Birthday! 🎂..

[@Dr.DorisTorres]

Dear Shirley, I wish you a wonderfully special day today. 🤗🤗🎉🎉You are a blessing to so many people including myself.✨🙏❤I can relate to everything you said in this video. Have you read the book "Mastery of Love"? That's the book that helped me understand love dynamics so clearly. I realized I was chasing, even addicted to, my person's love, and that he was in complete control of it. Now, I've realized that the love has to start within me. It's such a process.... I wish you continued strength, as you regain your bearings. You've come so far! Peace, love, and happiness always! ❤✨💫❤

[@dianegowland5866]

Thanks

[@tracyk8311]

USA here, happy belated birthday 🎉. 52 and starting over as well, I find your channel very helpful and comforting. Keep making, I just subscribed ❤

[@k.k.2157]

Happy birthday! May this new chapter of your life bring you the serenity and happiness you're looking for (and that you truly deserve)! I've been following you from Italy and rooting for you ever since I saw one of your first videos. You are a wonderful person, and wonderful things are bound to come your way sooner than you think.❤

[@jacklangley861]

God bless you lovely lady. I too at the age of 57 realized I was in a romantic relationship with a covert narcissist. What a nightmare. After years of healing and understanding how and why this all happened I realized my codependency attracted this demon. As horrible as this was I can see the silver lining. Anyway, I get this deeply. Thank you friend! 🙏

[@kennypham3856]

Sounds like things are improving, for you.

[@50Unstoppable]

Happy belated birthday 🎈 What a difference can two years make. So so pleased you’re in a such better place. As you said something things happen for a reason.

[@gabbymiles5655]

Thank you for channel ❤❤❤

[@gabbymiles5655]

Happy birthday 🎈🎁🎂🎊🎉

[@smallofferings]

Thank you for everything you've shared - it's helpful to me. And a belated happy birthday ❤

[@SoulCareOver50]

You're very welcome, I'm really happy that my videos help you. Thank you for your birthday wishes 😍

[@pedrozatravel]

That is rough, but at least you got out when you did.

[@lionness_simsima5941]

Hi there, great 👍🏽 sharing

[@SpringNotes]

Thank you for your honesty. Happy for your healing journey. Just curious, what is the camera you're using in this video ? I know you're saving money to replace it. But, I love the quality 😂

[@paulapereira2855]

Parabéns🎉desejo-lhe uma vida repleta de coisas boas, com muita harmonia, paz e felicidade ❤️🍀 Meu Deus! Tanta gente traumatizada por narcisistas! Eu também descobri o narcisismo através da visualização de vídeos que vi no KZbin. Um trajecto que nos faz parar e rever toda a vida para termos um futuro mais digno e emocionalmente decente. Identifico-me com muitas das coisas que diz. Obrigada🙏

[@avataroftheblue]

Happy Birthday 🎂and keep meditating 🙏

[@lindacockram3851]

Happy Birthday

[@SoulCareOver50]

Thank you for your birthday wishes ♥

[@btlfilmmedia9514]

The universe woke you up ...evil does exist

[@sandraemmi431]

Lost over 30 years to a covert. Then I found out some things he did that made all those confusing pieces to the puzzle fall in place. Haven’t won the lottery yet and old enough for health insurance to be an issue so here I sit. Yuck but I don’t want to make even more work for myself in terms of finance. Girl you are lucky to be out! I have no doubt I will do the same.

[@InspiredByTao]

I've been through a similar situation. I discovered how to overcome my self-loathing by disciplining myself to self-loving. My partner and I have a KZbin channel, Disciples of Tao ☯️, that may help you in loving yourself.

[@magdalena4153]

thank you ❤

[@Bright-f2n]

awesome love it

[@alicealison6048]

Missed something. What ring? Was it the birthday gift, and if so, why did you give it back?

[@sarahjaneross2918]

The bird in the background agrees!! ❤❤❤😅