Relationship tips for ANXIOUS attachment | Adam Lane Smith provides relationship guidance

#attachment #adamlanesmith #attachmentbro
Relationship help for anxious attachment. Do you know someone who struggles with anxious attachment style and is anxious in their relationships? This video guide will help you understand what’s happening and how to fix it. Because anxious attachment happens for a reason, and you need help to break free from the fear and fix your relationships. Don’t let anxious attachment define your relationships anymore. Learn to fix it with this video guide.
I coach people on fixing their insecurities. That includes anxiety from fear of abandonment and the belief that they’re unworthy of love. If you can’t believe anyone will ever love you, if you feel like you have to earn approval from others, and if you want to end that fear forever and learn to be confident and secure, watch this video guide and see what you’ve been missing.
This video is part of an ongoing series about attachment.
You don’t have to be insecure anymore. Learn what secret fears have kept you stuck in bad relationships. And let me show you how to stop sabotaging yourself so you finally get the love and acceptance you’ve always wanted. This video guide makes it easy to understand why you’ve been so afraid and how to end that fear forever.
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NEW! - Attachment Bootcamp, a 7-hour deep dive into attachment. ► bit.ly/3Qu9HEY This proven 10-step system to love yourself, connect with
others and find lasting romance is finally available in a video
course presented by Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith!
Get to know more about Adam here: adamlanesmith....
Or stay up to date about his latest promotions and products here: linktr.ee/Adam...
📩//Work 1 on 1 with Adam//📩
📅 adamlanesmith....
🤖//Join Adam's attachment-focused discord community//🤖
►get.adamlanesm...
The 4 Attachment Styles Guide - Free Download! 📥
adamlanesmith....
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📚 Slaying Your Fear: A guide for people who grapple with insecurity.
►www.amazon.com...
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[@seeyouatsunset]

I started sharing your work with my partner after I bought your attachment bootcamp and we both started opening up to each other more about how we feel and we are getting closer even though we haven’t been able to see each other much the past few days. I just love hearing how sweet and soft her tone of voice is over the phone now when we talk, I can tell she has dropped a lot of stress from being afraid to share her feelings. I love being able to make her feel comfortable and open!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Great to hear! I am SO thrilled to hear you're both bonding deeper and building a more loving connection. Keep using the skills inside that course to deepen what you're building and keep it safe from going backward during times of stress. And thank you so much for the review, this is wonderful.

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

​@@AttachmentAdamwhere do I get this course, is it webinar or book?

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

Adam are you avoidant because I'm very anxious, I Believe cause I was latchkey . Having to use Always for rest room caus I had no where else. So ya I get my trauma.

[@MsVictoriaWolfe]

I gave my speech and every time so far I’ve had to speak up he has shown so much compassion and my trust is growing. thanks for nothing mom and dad

[@AttachmentAdam]

I’m glad to hear he’s giving you the love you need so badly. This is a great beginning to a new way of living. Let me know if you need any help troubleshooting issues that pop up, you’re not in this alone. 👍

[@GrungeGalactica]

I love how unapologetically ballsy, no bs, yet deep & vulnerable this speech is. Anyone who reacts oddly to that, isn’t worth that level of effort anyways. I’m literally taking notes like a student here 🤓

[@AttachmentAdam]

Exactly! Opening up to others is a test of their character/

[@maureengriffin7448]

Thank you so much for your comment … because I’m so afraid I’ll be rejected when I do this and now if I do get rejected I’m gonna tell myself … he’s NOT worth it (better to know that upfront)

[@wellladeda13]

I wish I would've had your videos in my teens.

[@AttachmentAdam]

I hear you. What do you want to use them to help you accomplish now?

[@wellladeda13]

@@AttachmentAdam I want to be a better husband and father. Then improve my other relationships.

[@TheHouseOffice]

You what I really need and think others would benefit from is a simple straight forward solution for how to have better relationships. This script in this video for example about admitting to anxious attachment and wanting better relationships. Then also a video on the skills necessary. How do you communicate your needs and wants? How do you communicate when you dont like something? What all is required in good communication for a relationship? How do I respond when my friend tells me their needs/wants? Potential common pitfalls, how to avoid them. Etc.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hi there, great topic here! I wanted to make sure you know I have The Attachment Bootcamp video course which teaches all of that in one concise approach. You can find that linked on my website AdamLaneSmith.com.

[@iamfelixp]

This is definitely me. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough 😕

[@AttachmentAdam]

How are you doing with your process of fixing this? Have you been able to fully open up to several people in your life who can accept you?

[@iamfelixp]

@@AttachmentAdam i did, i opened up to 2 female friends and 1 male friend!

[@TheHouseOffice]

​@iamfelixp how'd it go?!

[@Mymle]

Aah, love this. I’m binging these videos because they help me.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad to hear you’re learning what you need! What’s your next step in this process?

[@HH_Julius]

I'm really enjoying these videos. Came over to the channel after watching you on Chris Williamson's podcast. Fire words on there and I see it's continuing on your channel. Looking forward to more videos! I need these tips!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks, and glad to have you here! Leave me questions on any video and I’ll answer 👍

[@HH_Julius]

@@AttachmentAdam much appreciated! I'll have some questions once I wrap my head around some of the things you've stated in podcasts. (Still recovering from having my mind blown when I heard you say what men want from a relationship versus what women want (action vs reaction). Going to take a min to come to terms how badly I've been going about things and then meditate about how to put that info into good use.)

[@BadMotivator66]

what's more important than that? my principles. i opened up to my best friend

[@AttachmentAdam]

Good work! How did that go? Did you get the acceptance you need?

[@hepy4992]

I'm going to open up to my best friend. He knows a lot about me and we already have a very open and honest relationship but sometimes I wish I knew how to be there for him or what was going on in his life and so I think this would be a good step forward. I love the guy to death and he's my partner in crime

[@AttachmentAdam]

This is so encouraging! Best of luck in opening up, and let me know how it goes. Maybe you could even watch this video with them to help break the ice and intro them to what you hope to build with them!

[@ME-xh5zq]

So i always thought i was an avoidant because I appear cold and distant on the outside but from watching these vidoes i think im actually anxious as im always questioning how the other person views me. Anyway, ive been seeing a therapist and i think ive kind of done one of the steps of healing (without being aware of it). I told her that i had trust issues and that i found some of her behaviours inconsistent which made me uncomfortable opening up. Like you mentioned, this was a very difficult conversation to initiate. To my surprise she did not become hateful or give any sign she was going to abandon me.

[@AttachmentAdam]

This is exactly the process to begin healing. It's possible you could have a disorganized style, avoidant on the outside but anxious on the inside, and that keeps you safe but also sabotages connections. Having experiences where people accept you is going to be crucial to fix this. I've got resources available for your journey, like my book Slaying Your Fear, that you could work with your therapist.

[@TheHouseOffice]

My best friend. He probably would be surprised because he is so consistent that I feel secure with him. Also... what? you've NEVER seen it not go well? 😮

[@AttachmentAdam]

I'm glad you've got this with him - what makes it different besides consistency?

[@siegfreidx1633]

When ever i get my picture taken by someone, i tense up and i cant smile naturally. I wonder do you have a video that explain a bit about it or in the book youve written? Thanks. Im glad i found you through Modern Wisdom your videos have been super helpful!

[@larrymogusu5999]

I found him through the Mikhaila and Modern Wisdom podcast. Adam has really quality content and I've gotten better in terms of attachment by just listening to a few of his videos.

[@AttachmentAdam]

That's awesome, I am so glad to hear it. How is your process going so far?

[@AttachmentAdam]

I'm so glad to hear that this has been helpful for you! What you're talking about might be something related to high stress, or there could be other factors going on. I recommend you send me an email so we can talk about this one specifically in more depth, if that's OK with you. [e-mail]

[@siegfreidx1633]

@@AttachmentAdam Yes, thanks Adam i'll do that.

[@idreamforever2539]

This is an amazing video ❤ appreciated so much and got some laughs too!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for your support!

[@usinelachine8087]

great video, surprised its mm doesnt have more views + not an add , great answers

[@AttachmentAdam]

We will get there!

[@gerrysmith7088]

to a new partner because I think we've opened up and it's scary but it's a start

[@AttachmentAdam]

Sounds like progress, well done! yes its terrifying to being this work, that's why most people don't fix their attachment on their own and need help. If I or my support community the Attachment Circle can help, don't hesitate to reach out. We'd love to have you join and get some advice and support as you begin this process.

[@user-eg8jm8jf4w]

Is there another way to help anxious ppl get over this? I'm not going to do this and embarrass myself. Are you kidding? Please give other ways on how to overcome this. Thank you.

[@Aussie565]

I’ve sat here and thought about who I could talk to My few friends are suffering themselves So I think this is too much to put on them I’d be happy to do it gift them but not sure they have it in them… for me My partner is avoidant and I see him stonewalling me He can’t listen to emotion “Don’t worry about it What you’re thinking is not true And it kind of irritates me to hear you talk like that” I have a wonderful psych but I can’t afford to see her even tho she gives me a discounted price It’s still too high :(

[@AttachmentAdam]

It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy load right now. What small steps can you take right now to support yourself, even if professional help feels out of reach?

[@Aussie565]

@@AttachmentAdam I’m currently “studying” a self help book Trying hard to speak up when I’m made uncomfortable That’s extremely hard I’m going on holiday to see an old friend Learning to crochet And growing vegetables in the garden I’m certainly a DO er

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

I loved bomb whe i was 15 je was 18 . Now 20 years later .mid life! Changes everything

[@Helpingbos]

I trusted her, she said i can trust her and become vulnerable and share my feelings. I did. She left me ☺️

[@jakemorrison8507]

Aw sorry boss. She'd not then one for you. There is someone real honest and caring for you out there!

[@Aussie565]

I’ve sat here and thought about who I could talk to My few friends are suffering themselves So I think this is too much to put on them I’d be happy to do it for them but not sure they have it in them… for me My partner is avoidant and I see him stonewalling me He can’t listen to emotion “Don’t worry about it What you’re thinking is not true And it kind of irritates me to hear you talk like that” I have a wonderful psych but I can’t afford to see her even tho she gives me a discounted price It’s still too high :( I don’t seem to have a personality at all It’s just symptoms Of cptsd Bipolar 2 and Avoidant attachment A list of symptoms That’s me!

[@AttachmentAdam]

I’m really sorry you’re feeling so isolated right now. It’s tough when you don’t feel like you have anyone to turn to. What small steps can you take to prioritize your emotional well-being, even if it’s just for a few moments each day?

[@Aussie565]

@@AttachmentAdam I plan to take up some hobbies I’ve dropped And make sure I walk alone each day Most people wouldn’t know I smile for the world Happy kind and caring If I can’t do that I will hide myself away I can talk here because it’s anonymous My partner knows I suffer but doesn’t like me to talk about it I’m pretty used to stuffing it down But the body pays the price! I’ve had cancer Spent 4 months in hospital last year for an accident that happened during a surgery It’s taken nearly a year to recover but won’t ever fully Even then I tried very hard to hide my distress Having had a mother with muchausens … being ill is very uncomfortable! Anyway On another video you’ve offered me help via email I can’t this week coming but I definitely will message after that Thank you so much for noticing me and answering 🦋

[@BadMotivator66]

FOR THE ALGO

[@AttachmentAdam]

Appreciated!

[@dericflairmultiverse4952]

As a guy, just giving love isn't enough, we have to be able to provide in some shape of form in order to have any possibility in today's dating market

[@mirandal.4932]

Hi Adam, I'm wondering how to deal with my emotional impermanence. What are reasonable things I could ask for of my partner to establish long-term permanence in my mind, and how can I cultivate it for myself as well? I find that I have lapses of it sometimes despite that I know my relationship is 100% secure. Maybe a friend's relationship troubles triggers anxiety in me for a day or two, or a celebrity's breakup, or my partner's been busy, etc. How can I fortify my sense of emotional permanence and fix my emotional impermanence? Any wisdom or actionable tips? Thank you!

[@AttachmentAdam]

I think it would help for you to start by finding out more about which attachment style you have, and seeing how it affects the relationships in your life. To learn how you can overcome these issues and build healthier long-term relationships. You can do so at this link which will also sign you up for my newsletter for weekly tips, updates and resources to help you learn more about attachment. adamlanesmith.com/the4attachments/?+4+attachment+styles+guide+-+free%21+%F0%9F%93%A5

[@aurelienyonrac]

We will see.

[@Degast92]

Can the I am an anxious speech also be with a family member like my sister. I guess she will help, but I allready trust her. I allready have the feeling that I can tell her this. Will it be as efective if it is actually not that scary to tell her?

[@varshasrini2431]

I did it. And I am not sure if it went well. I did it with my partner who is Avoidantly attached.

[@aaronmcclain1279]

Myself I am anxious person and avoidant dismissive

[@thesensitiveowl]

Is it possible to have one different style for each type of relationship? I think im the anxious style in romantic relationships, and avoidant with friends and family.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Yes, this can happen! Usually it means you're the Disorganized style, with the anxious style as your inner self and the avoidant style as your protective outer shell. You keep people out until they get in far enough... then switch to people pleasing and fearing abandonment. Very common. I'd love to talk with you about how to fix this if you're looking to get over it, send me an email at [e-mail] and I can share resources

[@salviadivinorum6619]

Wow, I really wanted to make the exact same comment!))))

[@LoNoOr37]

Great question.

[@katelandsmith3760]

There is probably nothing I think about more than having a good relationship with someone. Though I might add the caveat that I'd rather have one with God first. Avoids a lot of bad trouble with people, cool thing, He doesn't leave, die, or do cruel things to people. Or desire for them to do bad things. I've had the anxious talk in pieces with a few people, out of necessity. Usually after I've screwed something up, sometimes before. 😬 A couple understand it, with disagreements on moral issues, so the trust never really clicks in completely. 1 is trustworthy in that regard, anxious stuff doesn't seem to perturb him. He's in a monastic community, so communication is infrequent, but they are what keeps me on track with praying, reading good things[religious texts...lol]. I get a lot worse if those things fall off. Though the two people I don't completely trust might think that when I read more of this stuff. They have no idea how central that stuff is to my continued existence. I would be so much worse or dead if I quit. I've seen you mention in other videos that you had to fix your attachment problems, it's cool that you specified which kind. I am curious, if this was before going to school to become a counselour/therapist/coach, what was the pivoting point that changed that? It's cool if you don't answer. A lot of my thinking comes out in writing more. Lol

[@AttachmentAdam]

It sounds like you're prioritizing a good relationship first! Glad to hear you're keeping your mind focused.

[@phonyPope]

Do you have any tips for those with avoidant attachment or would they similarly face their fears too and find someone they trust and open up about it?

[@AttachmentAdam]

Very similar process, I recommend giving that a try. Let me know if you need help.

[@karenpoirier9352]

My daughter!

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

What made you aware , of attachment styles, whats you story that made tou do what tour lisenters are doung. Looking for answers now you thing you can give the. Thats progress ess.gow do we do rhat? My husband on ourhoneymoon we met amother couoe.and the new hubbya ended uo doscusiong this we were in our 20s.

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

So gummy i actually say the same thing " lets fix it?).

[@ahmedashkano7114]

Can we try to do this with an avoidant?

[@AttachmentAdam]

You can, sure. There are also special ways to help an avoidant person feel more safe in a relationship.

[@TuffTgr]

@@AttachmentAdam do you have a video on that ? Thank you

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

Its not a fair or feeling these thing dod happend.. its mot somehow? Uts how do i fix kt before its to late?

[@NinjasOfOrca]

I may have found this person, but she is avoidant, and I'm developing romantic feelings, and that's causing a lot of tension and problems now. Idk how to be her friend without my romantic desires getting in the way :/

[@AttachmentAdam]

I encourage you to watch the video titled 'How to Love an Avoidant Woman' and let me know if it helps. What are your biggest challenges currently?

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

My spouse is that

[@Becoming777]

Is there another way to fix it when we don't have anyone we can open up like that?

[@AttachmentAdam]

Great question! Many people trying to fix their attachment are isolated. This does require you to connect to a couple of people who can accept you. That's one major reason I created my Attachment Circle community, to give people a place to come and receive acceptance from the community, as well as to be part of something larger. Together we're building a place where people can get the support they need to face their toughest challenges. Would you like to join us and work on this together with the group?

[@Becoming777]

@@AttachmentAdam That seems good. I'd like to make friends

[@internaltuning9914]

My people know me lol 😅

[@TheHouseOffice]

4:00

[@AttachmentAdam]

Hit close to home?

[@65Superhawk]

That's a tough ask, especially if you are a sex addict in recovery

[@AttachmentAdam]

Given that challenge, what are your specific needs inside the relationship?

[@65Superhawk]

@@AttachmentAdam I was merely mentioning that SLAA addictions seem to be treated much more harshly than AA, NA, GA, OA ones. Makes opening up to a non-SLAA member so very risky. The populace cheers the sober drunk or drug addict. Most normies don't even think SLAA issues are real. Just my $0.02

[@maureengriffin7448]

Nothing My boyfriend

[@AttachmentAdam]

@maureengriffin7448: Tell me more about what you're experiencing?

[@rugacatrecer]

I open up to Jesus Christ, my God.

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

Lovw your content but stRting to see. Shift you looks ng our for the anxious to now to the avoidant and its not fair avoidants shot down like computers we havw to wair. Where us anxious will tell youwhats up so thwres mo anxiety we tell you straight out.aybe start tellimg your aboidamt clients to tell thwre partmer whats nithwrimg them so us anxious instead of beimg looked at as the reason, we xan be looked at lie the resolution because abousamts do.t see ot coming, amzious do , wjy we are lrw emotional intelligent.avoidamts stay ignorant ans fearful of what? O no, someone's gonna be thwre for mw. Be greatfyl cause tkur gard to let love. Same as us anxious my apise ans i were twensaybe cause this on ourselves

[@user-il5yj1jv7o]

I know i can be lived your making a bot of a moxkweey