Attending a Funeral in Germany [What to Expect]

[@kilsestoffel3690]

In my area, funeral invitations say often "von Beileidsbekundungen am Grab bitten wir abzusehen". This means, the family doesn't want to recive condolences near the grave / during the funeral. In these cases, you'll find sometimes a condolence book (Kondolenzbuch), where you can write your name and maybe some words.

[@capeceneveral2129]

Girls you are doing a great job❤

[@TSinRM]

How different cultures conduct funerals and memorial ceremonies is really quite interesting. Here in the United States, there was always a multitude of customs, as we are a very diverse population, and now in a changing age, where traditional funerals with open caskets, wakes, and graveside services have become far less the standard, it's hard to even say what attending a funeral here is like-too many variables to be able to generalize. The most common concept I see is now a "Celebration of Life," which can take on a much different atmosphere than a funeral. I think this is a step in the right direction.

[@katecutie9948]

Thank you for this. It was very insightful

[@Yosh001]

Maybe worth mentioning: often not all who received an invitation for the ceremony are also invited to the "Leichenschmaus". Usually all get the same card which states the location and time of the ceremony and, as you mentioned, the bank account that can be donated to, etc. However, on this card there is no mention of the meal or "coffee and cake" after the ceremony. Those who are invited to that will find a small extra card in the envelope where then the location and time is explicitly written.

[@simplegermany]

Very valid point! Thanks for sharing your insights :)

[@Fani.Christie]

A very close family friend to my bestie had recently passed away. Of course she shared very quickly with me about that, and of course I offered my condolences, my respect for that person. What staggered me, as the day progressed and I actually met with her alone, is that the family was currently in arrangements for the funeral to be held the very next day! However, it got the final settlement for the after next day, so roughly 48 hours after the man's passing. Now, I don't wish to be any controversial, but just that speed, that rush in such a moment has always raised my eyebrows. I find it reasonable for a funeral to take place about a week or a couple of weeks after. A tough topic, but important as one enters new social environments, also with very simplified and easy to understand set of dictionary and rules.

[@simplegermany]

Wow, was the speed as you described an exception or are funerals always that close to the death in Bulgaria (similar to how it is in Guatemala)?

[@Fani.Christie]

@@simplegermany Not an exception at all. The 48 hours type of scheduling is the most common in Bulgaria and, mind you, in the recent case I mentioned it was initially desired for the next day. I find this practice unsettling for a few reasons, in regard to both the immediate family of a deceased, as well as all those who knew them and were otherwise involved in their life. Quite some years ago, a young girl tragically passed away unexpectedly. I learned on the next evening, but I had no immediate means to reach the family or closest friends. When I got them on the phone the following day, that was only to be told the funeral had been held. 3-4 hours prior. Just no words. Another thing which I find different, is the family doesn't send out invitations, but issues an announcement, that is for everyone or anyone. (Only if that announcement reaches everyone or anyone on time!)

[@claudiakarl7888]

Was it a muslimic or jewish family?

[@Fani.Christie]

​@@claudiakarl7888 No, neither. A very regular Bulgarian family, for all cases I can think of as examples. Bulgaria is an eastern European country, member of the EU and NATO. Traditionally our religion is Orthodox Christian.

[@n1vca]

"When I joined my first funeral" 🤣 could have been a line from the "Anchormen 2" movie - Brick's funeral scene A dark but necessary subject, very well covered per usual.👍

[@Beyblade0battles]

Lets take a moment to appreciate both of them for correctly maintaining the serious vibe of the video throughout while also not sounding too dark. I'm glad the way this video is able to cover such an emotional and sad topic, while keeping in mind not to be too cheerful, happy, loud etc which is the general vibe but rather muted and serious, while not being too depressing at the same time! There are many subtle things in this video that tell you two managed to strike the perfect balance that this video topic suits.

[@simplegermany]

Thank you 🙏

[@timrtl]

Here near Bremen, after the funeral, we often have Wickelkuchen and Butterkuchen. Therefore, the funeral is sometimes sarcastically called Butterkuchenparty Butterkuchen is here often also at normal celebrations, Wickelkuchen however, actually only at funerals. It reminds a little of a christstollen

[@reginas.3491]

Since I'm old I have been to many funerals. Your explanations are excellent. I have only one small addition to the flowers. It must not always be a white rose. A classic flower is a lilly, I also love to bring one sunflower or a flower that the deceased liked. If the deceased was a colleague or a club comrade etc. it might be that the colleagues/club members together buy a wreath with a message on the ribbon.

[@trassentante]

In our area the Leichenschmaus is called "Fell versaufen". And it's not recognized as disrespectful or rude, it's quite common. You will not see it on the invitation cards but when you sit there after the funeral somebody would say:so, dann wollen wir mal XYZs Fell versaufen.

[@herodaro]

Can you please make a video about how to get prescription glasses in Germany, Many thanks

[@simplegermany]

You can go to an optician (Optiker) shop and get an exam, consultation and the glasses there. In most cases you need to pay for them yourself.

[@karinland8533]

Very well explained!

[@turjo119]

Having buried my father just before I came to Germany I found this video to be quite eye opening. In Bangladesh, mostly amongst Muslim families, when one passes away the funeral and burial take place almost within the next 24 hours. I won't go into the details of how arduous this task was ( as I had to do the lionshare of the task alone) but within less than 14 hours my family and I had taken my father to a funeral parlor, informed our relatives, went to a local mosque to say prayers and then laid him to rest in a local cemetery. Amongst Hindus( my best friend being one) traditionally speaking setting up a funeral pyre and spreading of the ashes from an urn is far more commonplace and this also takes place within a day or two. Grieving for a deceased loved one as a whole is a complicated and sensitive issue but I am glad I am now better informed about how its conducted here in Germany and what is the norm :) Thank you as always for making such amazing and informative content ❤

[@simplegermany]

Thanks for sharing your personal experience. It’s so interesting to read how everyone does it differently. Sorry you had to deal with your dad’s process on your own. - J

[@turjo119]

@@simplegermanyOh it's quite alright. I think those hardships have shaped me in becoming the person who made it here and become more empathetic as a person in general. Regardless thank you for the kindness you've shown me :)

[@iZeb0x]

Often the closer family members, parents, so, children, will wait two-three meters from the burial site so after you have done your turn with the flowers and sand/earth you can walk past them shaking hands, saying a few words, while the next person goes up to the grave.

[@Attirbful]

Within the past five years, I lost my entire family and for each of the three funerals, I chose three songs to be played during the ceremony. This was very comforting and I would not have been able to give a speech or something like that. By choosing the music that best personified my father (50s Jazz, Benny Goodman, Louis Armstrong), my mother (classical music and Santa Lucia [her name was Lucie]) and my brother (Sting’s Fragile,Hugh Laurie’s St. James Infirmary Blues, and guitarist Tommy Emanuel’s Hellos and Good-byes), I had the opportunity to embrace their lives and likes without words. Since all of the funerals took place late in the morning, the small circle of family remaining, we went to have lunch and then coffee afterwards.

[@simplegermany]

Thank you for sharing. Our condolences for your big and many losses!

[@YT_Gopnik_Mario]

its cool how they handle Funerals in Germany in Bosnia and Herzegovina we dont have forests for Cemetary we have Grave Yards and Graves are made of some kind of rock idk name of im not knolageble in Biology and Funerals also go trugh Funeral Homes

[@Zucvettin78]

I haven't even watched the video yet, but the thumbnail killed me

[@Syrus84]

You don't have to wear all black/dark, it's also very common for men (esp. from older generations) to wear a black suit, white shirt and black tie.

[@IgnacioHeredia]

Muy buen video chichas! Viendolo me dio curiosidad acerca de la donacion de organos en alemania. No se si es material suficiente para un proximo video, pero definitivamente me parece un tema interesante. Por ejemplo, por defecto se considera que todas las personas son donantes? O al contrario solo lo son quienes lo explicitan? Sigan con el excelente trabajo 😁

[@laeum1433]

Excelente idea! Yo soy donante y en mi licencia estadounidense, aparece. Pero aqui no se como es.

[@user-gg3xm1zo9i]

Please make a video on the elterngeld new law. I am a bit surprised you haven’t commented it already since it is such a game changer for young families

[@simplegermany]

So far no changes are confirmed yet. Changing the income threshold for Elterngeld remains a suggestion. The Bundestag will decide on it most like in December. Should there be changes we will be sure to update our written guide on our website 😊

[@MrJcsa16]

porfavor hacer videos en español tambien 😢 y poner subtitulos tambien...❤ Gracias

[@laeum1433]

What do you do if a couple wants to have their ashes burried together? For example, my husband and I have always said that whomever survives the other will hold on to the ashes of the other and once the survivor passes, our kids will plant a tree or something with our ashes combined. I find it very painful that a last wish cannot be fulfilled.

[@simplegermany]

You cannot hold on to ashes or take them home in Germany. You could speak to a funeral home and for example ‚reserve‘ a tree for both of you. But your urnes would be buried at the times of your individual deaths.

[@laeum1433]

@@simplegermany

[@jP-yu9ie]

Jen .. I’m from Guatemala (living in Philadelphia) and my German bf’s father just passed and we went to the funeral in Essen .. it was odd to say the least .. seemed too formal and cold to me .. there was last minute drama about where to place the urn ( cemetery vs this forest concept ) which I felt extremely inappropriate from his family in Germany , we then went to a hotel lounge to drink beer , coffee and cake like nothing happened .. (my 4th cake of the day that day ).. and none of those daily prayers we do back home .. we then came home and the priest kept calling for his “donation” 😮

[@simplegermany]

Hola! First off, sorry that your bf's father passed away. Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope everything worked out in the end. -J

[@jP-yu9ie]

@@simplegermany it did , thank you .. not been able to understand what was going on as things were happening was hard , so I can only go by what my partner explained to me .. I apologize for the previous post as it came out a bit dry ( I probably wrote it late at night ) .. it was of course emotional and I’m sure family dynamics need some improvement, like in any family , you know , these are the types of experiences nobody is prepared for and everyone will do differently.. but yeah , that was the first time I heard about this forest burial. Gladly my partner’s mom has re found some community in her small town .

[@mdtufayelahmed7124]

Pretty good

[@thaimays6933]

Who gives out funeral invitations?

[@psycdice]

Make video about adoption in Germany. And international adoption from my home country.

[@peoples.say.masoom]

I was not expecting a good thing after watching your thumbnail

[@technicalcentury]

Sisters ,i am curious as a muslim , do i have to follow certain rules ? Because in our religion we must have to follow certain rules during funeral which is really really mandatory for us ? Please enlight me about it What if i want to choose muslim funeral process ?

[@simplegermany]

There are also Muslim funeral homes in Germany that follow the rules.

[@technicalcentury]

@@simplegermany 🤔 thnx sister/s

[@ThePumaDe]

Jen i want to hear you speak german pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (im not german)

[@thomasbartzick7372]

Aftet-Shiw is alled Ruggen in rural Sauerland. 😂

[@krugerfuchs]

Can you not bring pets home either