The Most Unhinged Cooking on TikTok

TikTok Cooking, a two word phrase that has made me pee my pants on more than one occasion. Today, we look at a great example why. Buckle up.
previous video: • The Worst TikToks Ever...
subscribe: kzbin.info...
join my discord!: / discord
follow me on instagram!: / oohgust
follow me on twitter!: / oohgust
support the channel!: streamlabs.com/augusttheduck/tip

[@Msmary98-98]

I loved the way he was about to puke all over the place after taking a drink , but then try’s to lie and say it was great.

[@23345star]

That's just Jack Scalfani.

[@anjunoob3465]

I think that’s the joke lol

[@smol-one]

That does appear to be the schtick of the channel.

[@Burntbabyfacemicky]

I bet he sherked the mans barth room

[@nuir8072]

british people what is wrong to you all

[@Rootiga]

My favorite part is that he puts the glove on his left hand before mixing, but as he's mixing he's using the uncovered right hand

[@Stanfordscienceman]

Literally identical energy to tf2 medic putting gloves on after surgery instead of before

[@ketaminepoptarts]

they just use gloves bc it looks clean, and thats all people on tiktok care about. theyll use gloves to handle raw meat and then touch every other ingredient with those same gloves

[@imsotallytober5]

I see you understood the joke.

[@ophzlia]

the humans that cook like this are a whole different breed

[@xenophanesfunnihaha3755]

Lol

[@digad]

look at my comment

[@JustaHedgehoginSonicBoom]

Facts.

[@qquack1950]

Fr

[@christopherkarr1872]

@@digad No.

[@yourl0calcrazyp3rson83]

I feel like it should be a rule that some people just aren’t allowed to step inside of a kitchen.

[@umbrellacorp.]

I would agree to that rule. 😎👍💯

[@Pancakesarebetterthanwafflez]

yeah

[@SomeOrdinaryJanitor]

@@umbrellacorp. of course Umbrella Corp agrees

[@TheReZisTLust]

Like Men.

[@Русские_вперед]

They would cook in a toilet like that TikTok guy

[@Sage_leaf]

no matter how bad it gets, these videos have never made me actually gag. until now. congratulations August, you have made me physically gag at a video for the first time

[@kaycep6819]

Same. And wasteful. August I hope your trip gets better. You deserve an awesome vacation.

[@abparker9971]

First time I couldn't finish watching one of these, that smoothie made me physically ill just looking at it

[@TR_GRIM]

Y’all watch that dude eat the rotten beef that was in a jar for like 100 days then the nasty sludge on the bottom from this once ny strip he takes blood pours it in the jar let’s it sit while he east the main pieces of the sludge then drinks the blood and oh yeah the maggots don’t forget the maggots

[@Sage_leaf]

@@TR_GRIM not even that made me gag... something about the mixture absolutely appalled me. my body triggered a genuine repulsive reaction to it

[@pixiv2914]

@@TR_GRIM Yeah I think eating rotten meat with amggots in it is a million times worse than any dish made in this video, ew Also, did'n that video get deleted?

[@CyberKirby]

You could not pay me to drink that smoothie because I believe that attempting to drink that whole thing would ACTUALLY kill me.

[@linda-0587]

Same

[@killthewrong4598]

Id chug that thing for like $200

[@feraltaco4783]

I have a really cranky digestive system. After one drink of that my insides would be at war for days.

[@hahahahahah777]

​@@killthewrong4598 I'd chug it for infinite money

[@MJfan560]

​@@feraltaco4783 same, I would settle for a million maybe.

[@geofff.3343]

I'm not going to lie, this whole Midnight Snacks Tick-Tock channel has some SCP energy.

[@DatBoi_TheGudBIAS]

They will create an SCP one day

[@LocalNimrod]

@@DatBoi_TheGudBIAS the food they create can already be classified as an scp

[@mommy2libras]

​@@LocalNimrod that smoothie definitely needs special containment. Damn sure don't let it get near the water supply.

[@haloichigo1]

I honestly found this incredibly entertaining. For one they knew the food was going to be terrible and not pass what they are making as an actual dish people should make. I also laughed that the host is essentially a captive who just to say the food is good even though he is in physical agony they even have the clock set to midnight in the background for extra care to detail. Overall one of the better things I have seen you share from Tic Tok that doesn't make me want to get a lobotomy.

[@i-am-moderatly-stupid]

Well if wanna get said lobotomy I can oblige

[@anoddmeme3833]

What makes it worse is that wasn't even mayonnaise that was in the "shake", it was tartar sauce

[@feraltaco4783]

That somehow makes it like 100 times worse.

[@bryanpineda2096]

You forgot when they put the popsicle stick in the blender.

[@Idk-jn5cl]

His acting is so convincing right? “oh boy welcome back to midnight snacks” in the most bored voice ever, oh and cant forget the “it’s time to get the host or it’s ready

[@Idk-jn5cl]

I don’t think “The H0st” is ok

[@aookami9581]

That's the joke. Bad acting.

[@oavideos6798]

Finally someone who gets it...

[@Stanfordscienceman]

“Wow E zow E,that was so good”right after fighting his urge to vomit

[@zoltanbojan8035]

the people commenting about his bad acting know that this the joke right?

[@RoseKindred]

Well, the plus side is at least the food is cooked. Unlike Jack's constant culinary adventures.

[@feraltaco4783]

"Culinary adventures". That's a weird way to spell war crimes. 😂

[@RoseKindred]

@@feraltaco4783 Ah yes, the Geneva Suggestions, or Geneva Checklist depending on alignment... or boredom.

[@feraltaco4783]

@@RoseKindred I'm sure at least one of those "meals" was a violation of the Geneva Convention. 🤣

[@kevinvieira2834]

​@@RoseKindred Jack out here using the geneva cookbook

[@AJCylace2002]

I Like How August Never Mentioned The Fact That The Account Is Satire. The Acting, The Way They Cook Most Of The Foods (I.E. Microwaving The Pie) And The Way They End.

[@TheGamingCat_]

That has to be the wor- That has to be the best looking waffles i have ever seen

[@ggmann13]

Some things don't need to be outright spelled out for people lol.

[@SamStuffz]

@@ggmann13 apparently they do based on half of these comments lol

[@jotade2098]

- What's the worst non criminal activity we can practice? - Wasting food. - Grab the camera!

[@DatBoi_TheGudBIAS]

If u did this in front of someone hungry, it would instantly turn into a crime... Cuz the hungry guy would kill u

[@callanwilson3623]

hardly wasted if its making them a crap ton of money

[@jotade2098]

@@callanwilson3623 try eating money

[@callanwilson3623]

@@jotade2098or you know go to the store and hand it in for more food that sits on a shelf all day and gets thrown out daily if nobody buys it.

[@karenbetanerd4396]

@@jotade2098 try using that money to buy food to eat

[@TheDeviIDogg]

I made the party cheese salad but I only used the pineapple, cream cheese, cool whip, and lemon jello and it honestly makes a great little dessert type thing. Almost like that's what it was supposed to be from the start

[@feraltaco4783]

You were raised right. 😂😂😂

[@cakedUraniumMuffin]

Aunt Myrna did not approve those alterations!

[@feraltaco4783]

@@cakedUraniumMuffin 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TheDeviIDogg]

@@cakedUraniumMuffin I feel like it was Aunt Myrna's original way of making it but she played a joke on Jack and forgot to tell him

[@mommy2libras]

I'm not sure if you've ever heard of it but Watergate Salad is a pretty popular dish, at least here in the south. It's cool whip, crushed pineapple, pistachio pudding mix and mini marshmallows. You'll find this at holidays, bbqs, church suppers, funerals- it's an all occasion thing. And strangely enough, we set it out with the regular food, right next to potato salad or green beans or sweet potatoes- it's not served with the pies and cakes after the meal. It is part of the meal.

[@DeadDiaries]

These people are actually pretty funny, the trolling they do is absolutely perfect 😭 Edit: The last thing I thought about when making this comment was food waste, It was in the back of my mind untouched, I was just saying that them being stupid on the internet was stupidly funny, but now that I read the comments I kinda do think about it now. I wasn’t trying to upset anyone this was a harmless comment that was meant to be fun and what not.

[@silverserpent420]

Kinda funny. Until I remember there's a homeless teen on TikTok that shares how he budgets food to eat and cook it at a public park. Then these fools are wasting food and wrecking the stove. They're not trolls they're assholes.

[@levicarpenter5509]

They are wasting food

[@msjkramey]

​@Levi Carpenter I was just about to comment this. It is some decently funny trolling but I just can't stand food waste, especially intentional food waste

[@ProjectDeltaplayer]

@@levicarpenter5509 yeah but they are still funny and all food ends one day (chickens are real animals incase you forget)

[@porgrcool4293]

@@ProjectDeltaplayer no food can not be rotten for many days

[@CrimsonAngel111]

It is so refreshing to see something real come out of tiktok, just a few guys having a laugh is all you need.

[@Chesozz]

This is like when you tried to make potions with sticks, mud, bugs, shit and whatever nasty things you could find when you were like 6 years old

[@icankillbugs]

Let me tell you what I think about bugs

[@jking446]

I feel like this started from the guy eating this stuff saying to his friends that nothing could make him throw up, so now their goal is just that

[@DatBoi_TheGudBIAS]

Ah yes, risk ur faken body for a chalenge, typical teen stupidity. Actually Dat dude looks like an early adult. EVEN WORSE

[@BabyLemonTree1717]

The clam blueberry pancakes would most definitely be the one I’d try out of the three. I don’t think it would be good, but way better than the other two dishes😂

[@MidSelin.-.]

4:21 he actually put the stick in, wood, and blended it💀

[@Ko8la2233]

Something you would see in a cartoon.

[@user-nf6sq8lx3b]

I almost cried when I saw them cook the most cursed pie I’ve seen on earth….. If anyone served me that their would be a crime.

[@Midoriya782]

the sarcasm in the dudes voice is so funny 😭🖐

[@YOUR_NARRATOR975]

I'm not Gordon Ramsay but I think I stand for us all when I say this man is a horrendous chef.

[@jimmyp410]

I know right?? He didn't even SEASON his waffle batter!! Probably taste like shit!😂

[@YOUR_NARRATOR975]

@@jimmyp410 hold on, what seasonings do you use 💀

[@vladislavdonchev1271]

woweezawa, clamcakes!!!

[@JustinGuan-qu9ge]

stop attacking ukraine man its uncool

[@jimmyp410]

​@@YOUR_NARRATOR975 it depends on the waffles, but when I make the blueberry+chocolate +raw clams variety I at least use salt and pepper and maybe some Old Bay... I mean who wants their raw clam waffles to be bland??🤮It's unacceptable! ...BTW I'm a big fan, Vlad! I'd love to see you turn up and start dropping some nukes. I'll throw a $2 super chat your way for each 🚀

[@bricksclip]

You know, normally I'm eating when I watch your videos and you give us the ole "If you're eating you might want to stop" bit. And I smile and think, "Silly August, I've been covered in vomit, blood, guts, shit, and piss and I still manage to eat right afterwards." But today. Today. I had to stop eating watching this. My arrogance was finally bested by you, my talking Duck friend❤

[@orcanosgaming657]

I'm Gonna Take A Guess, Do You By Chance Work In A Hospital?

[@bricksclip]

@@orcanosgaming657 Almost, I work in EMS😂

[@d.ragonology]

This is not punishable by federal prison. This is punishable by eternal torment.

[@DustyJones1997BGCL]

Even prisoners get better food than this

[@feraltaco4783]

​@@DustyJones1997BGCL I didn't eat anything half this bad in county jail. 😂

[@aprill4019]

I hope the rest of the week goes better for you, I love your content I really needed August the Duck tonight.

[@Jahsizzl9]

The whole gag of him being like a prisoner forced to say great things is pretty hilarious. “Wowweezowa”

[@El.tuna.god-]

I love your videos and I love how you are just so honest and don’t hide what you think. Have a good day or night

[@mikeandandrea5873]

Mid way through blender scene, I get an ad. “ hi, I Brandon from pretty litter” I’m dead

[@LeviAckerman096]

Mad respect to the dedication to this trolling. Bro actually eats these 😭 -10 respect points for wasting food though

[@ademetal]

Sorry to hear about your day August, I've had a few of those, where every problem just builds and builds, so much so, you find even trivial things infuriating.

[@IrishBrotato]

Meanwhile cooking with Jack is taking notes

[@NevermoreMadGirl]

Mixing shitty Tiktok "cooking" and a hostage being made to eat/drink their captors creations. Either this is hilarious or deeply disturbing... I'm going with the latter, what does everyone else think? Honestly, this looks more terrifying than most "horror" movies coming out these days. A film based around a hostage being forced to eat rubbish "food" until they just willingly starve to nothing, utterly horrible. Wowie zowa! That guy's acting skills are impeccable, you can't even tell how disgusted he is by these atrocities. Get this man into the '24 Oscars list of noms!🤣

[@feraltaco4783]

I'm going with disturbing. I'm certainly very creeped out right now.

[@新街口_Station_Pizza_Parlor]

These are food related crimes. Food crimes are no laughing matter.

[@bell6dandy564]

He didn't even mix with the gloved hand, he used the bare hand!

[@kaihart8275]

August is feeling particularly cynical in this video and I'm here for it

[@jackbarnes5589]

I'm high with the munchies and even I wouldn't dare try one of those plates of trash.

[@zb1349]

My friend makes some of these recipes at school lunch, mixes chocolate milk, apple juice, grapd juice, pizza, apple sauce, corn, potatoes, and some times ice cream into a container, and take a bite out of it, it's quite impressive actually

[@Mark_87]

100% my step sons when they get older 😂 They call them their "concoctions"

[@ViktoriaSkripka90]

Dude is just training to be able judge Jack Scalfani’s cooking at the next church Chili contest.

[@alazarbiru.69]

This is literally howtobasic in a nutshell

[@KidOblivion]

However many pizza rolls were in that smoothie, is the amount of zeros it would take for me to chug it.

[@KentonTheKnight]

This had the most vile concoctions I've ever seen and such odd, gross humor that any sane person would run to the mountains faster than then their shadow can move and I'm ashamed to say that I laughed at it a total of 4 times, all but one were me trying to keep it quiet by snickering, and the loud one I had to bite something to stop the noise.

[@mtnman8783]

Kay's cooking should take notes. It would elevate her cooking game

[@slimthebugguy]

The most down to earth person on the internet

[@Scorpion5120]

I just wanted to say "Thank you" for your content, August. Really appreciate your commentary, always a good laugh.

[@aaronvaughan5506]

The blue waffle with clams in a 200 IQ joke

[@glee9189]

That’s probably one of the funniest intros I’ve ever heard! It sounds like every single day of my life condensed. Sorry for you, but if you don’t want us to laugh at your pain, you know how to fix it! Great story! Have fun!

[@KaraTheGirlie]

Bro what kinda Uber driver says that my guy. That dude gonna get kicked off, I'd give a one star.

[@AmbblyPuff]

I'd drink it for $10k, tbh I'm used to weird combinations like that already cus I used to consume stuff like that when I was in high school, simply to gross ppl out.

[@williamrosenbloom215]

That's a pretty high number for someone who's used to it.

[@AmbblyPuff]

I mean, he asked & I answered

[@striker7983]

When you realize they never took out the can lid

[@willwailes9298]

Boiled pizza rolls? You mean Jack's lazy man's raviolis.

[@Lilskixxx]

We think these are friends but in reality he really is a hostage they force to eat gross foods or they kill him

[@shuleshersh13]

Make this format a series. August ranting about the vicissitudes of life while absolute random trash footage from the bile ducts of TikTok rolls without explanation, like gameplay over the old school commentary channels.

[@Tesseract.]

These are those guys at lunch who mixed all their food together and would bet each other to eat it. They just never stopped.

[@feraltaco4783]

I started having a flashbacks to junior high. 🤣

[@jimmyp410]

😂 These are actually pretty hilarious. I respect the hustle.

[@jankaczorowski7031]

5:39 10k and u got a deal. (Edit: it needs to be in € otherwise no deal)

[@nervousbabbs2769]

Also HOPE YOU GAVE YOUR BEST WISHES TO JACKS COOKING HE IS DOING OK AND RECOVERING. I love seeing you react to his food lol its a great combo of your funny dialog and his questionable food. Wishing you and yours the best as well! Go tell Jack ya miss him!

[@moshunit96]

Whats wrong with him? Salmonella poisoning would be my first guess. Second would be ecoli.

[@Mermaid-of-lake-Oolagah]

@@moshunit96 he had a stroke. Watch his KZbin video on it

[@Shitasss]

Oh no did he have another stroke? I hope he's alright!

[@Truecrimeresearcher224]

​@@Shitasss according to his uploades he had a stroke He has a video update on my stroke

[@WobblesandBean]

Why on earth would you send well wishes to an objectively horrible person?

[@DubyaG1235]

No matter how painful these cooking videos get, nothing will ever hurt me again like “Hair Cake”

[@ryeguy7505]

Ahh, just what I needed after a long day of work.

[@mikel6989]

This was definitely recorded in a state where weed is legal. No doubt about it.

[@trigremlin]

this kind of tiktok cooking terrorism doesn't really need attention anymore at this point. people are doing it on purpose.

[@Kyleplier]

That's one Hell of a way to be woken up for sure. Whenever someone comes up the steps to deliver a package or whatnot in my place, my head is literally on the other side of the wall with the main stairs. So I have the footfalls of people coming up the stairs resonate through my skull regardless if I'm awake or asleep...

[@ComradeXs]

this channel is unironically the funniest/ best managed of the ones you’ve shown

[@MrTenhighguy]

If you haven't thought of making a pizza roll smoothie while drunk at a house party then you've never been that drunk. 😆😆😆😆

[@jocelyn8635]

I have never been that drunk, and I've been pretty FUCKING drunk! Ewww...maybe if I was drunk aaandd stoned My phone automatically makes my FUCKING capital 🙃

[@christopherkarr1872]

I've never been to a house party that had pizza rolls, and I can assure you I cook halfway decent while blackout drunk. I do like your comment, tho.

[@marcelgardner8497]

The more I'm exposed to these tiktok/social media "cooking" videos the more I am in favor of The Purge coming true.

[@feraltaco4783]

I feel. Some people just want to see the world burn. Some actively set fires. We are doomed.

[@Vynn_Lynn]

My favorite sentence ever "Um no both suitcases allowed"

[@fletcher0411]

This reminds me of the kid in high-school going around saying "if you give me a dollar ill snort this chalk/pixie stick"

[@flavoredcement]

I really hope everything that you covered today is satire. if not, then I'm going to lose the last shred of faith that i have in humanity.

[@hawktalon7890]

I'm convinced most of TikTok as a broad general is ragebait.

[@flavoredcement]

@@hawktalon7890 Definitely true.

[@faith518]

Please, do more of these guys! They seem genuinely hilarious and don't take themselves seriously. I just almost spit out a lung while laughing at this video!

[@OrionTheHunter337]

Man literally added a lethal dose of salt, drinking the whole thing would kill a man

[@kaws2290]

at least 600k to chug that. IVE BEEN WATCHING FOR A LONG TIME AUGUST THIS CHANEL AND YOUR GAMING CHANNEL IT WOULD MAKE MY DAY FOR YOU TO SAY SOMTH BACK heehee

[@yes_theone]

BRO I CLICK ON THIS VIDEO SO FAST

[@absentmindedprof]

This channel makes Cooking With Jack look like The Galloping Gourmet.

[@jamiwami]

Bro was fr fighting for his life 💀

[@kings2284]

I still don't know why August still thinks these things are human and giving them the title of "people"

[@jackofsparro3362]

TikTok is cancer, am I right?

[@quinaryvanix5698]

Facts

[@JustaHedgehoginSonicBoom]

It is

[@NippyNep]

social media is, you guys act like tiktok is bad but in reality most social media is bad because it allows you to see more people like this

[@JustaHedgehoginSonicBoom]

@@NippyNep yeah, but if we’re talking about frequency of awful recipes and trends, TikTok takes the cake (hopefully they don’t put onions on the cake)

[@quinaryvanix5698]

@@NippyNep yeah

[@jamalwilliams7937]

Bro you the king of dry comedy you have me laughing my ass off

[@craigmcgillis1371]

Love ya man! Haha that rant made my day Bahahaha I was like yes! 🎉🎉🎉 went perfectly over top of what they were doing in the video 😝☠️

[@Deefjooo]

I love how the guy that makes this food and films his friend just chuckles while filming😂

[@camboi6103]

I love how this is clearly a friend group messing around

[@mcintosh206]

I'm so high right now and that rant hasn't me in years of laughter

[@kiyobot123]

Forget about microwaving jello, they microwaved TINFOIL. Also, hand went in with a glove (presumably) and came out without it

[@Heyo_Its_PearluX]

Are we just going to not talk about how august fled a whole entire continent just to escape children?

[@Stanfordscienceman]

As a huge fan of pizza rolls every second of that pizza roll smoothie segment chipped away at part of my soul

[@dr.menyac6499]

We all had long days, I LOVE those days it’s always a unique adventure that makes you feel good when over

[@ladymsoaps]

Why did this come across my fyp when I feel like crap 😂😂 seriously the last one made me gag watching it

[@BlackHe4rtQueen]

first time found myself laughing out loud at anything that's ever graced the tiktok platform. I think it's a fabulous satire on the awful tiktok cooking and fake reactions.

[@kritsadventures]

Clam pancakes don't seem dangerous to eat, unlike microwaved metal pie and woodchip smoothie.

[@pedroracoon]

The initial quiet laughing in the videos just proves it's all just for shits and giggles.

[@ImOnyyx]

Man this chef got VIOLATED omg August roasted him so hard XD

[@Munch_Hausen]

I loved listening to your rant. Such a not-so-unique european experience :D

[@WaifuEndMyLaifu]

For that whole mug, nothing under 6 figures will cure my pain. 7 figures for the whole blender

[@madisonpetri7361]

something about the microwave on the plastic stairs broke me fdjkdfjk

[@silverhawk24]

The thought of boiled pizza rolls should be enough to eradicate someone's immune system, but placing them in a blender is too far. Dude had the nerve to say it was "good" when he was about to puke out his intestines

[@feraltaco4783]

I've seen some abominations in the kitchen and watching someone boil pizza rolls was a step too far.

[@zoeonderweegs6556]

Your videos are taking off the sharp edges of my breakup. Thank you

[@ericbrucker]

These guys actually put out some really funny content.

[@H.P.Blavatsky]

Taxis & Ubers….in my town they charge $25 for ‘moving’ What that means is if you finish your shopping and you have 30 shopping bags of stuff you get charged regular fare. If you have literally a single box small enough to fit in your lap that’s ‘moving’ and you get charged $25 on top of regular fare.

[@rydiggydawg3166]

My soul died by another degree when I saw those pizza rolls being boiled.

[@howitworks5945]

Yeah, all I can hear is “Jack, maybe I’ll consider your home cooking.”

[@DreamTiger5]

They violated that poor blender.

[@elisaflore2850]

I really appreciate that we were all collectively scarred by aunt mirna's party cheese salad in pretty much the same way