Autism Shutdown - Dating An Autistic Series

What are Autistic Shutdowns? How can you help your Autistic partner?
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[@heated817]

I would love an autism+adhd relationship series

[@vik5648]

Best description of a shutdown I've heard. Thanks! I don't think I have heard anyone explain it so well.

[@ThomasHenley]

Thanks Victoria! I’ve definitely had a fair few of them in my time 😅

[@vik5648]

@@ThomasHenley likewise, unfortunately!

[@divafulbeauty648]

Thomas thank you SO MUCH for your video! I just experienced my partner who has ASD having a shutdown for the first time and because I have been watching your dating series as soon as I understood he was experiencing a shutdown I knew exactly what to do thanks to this video again thank you so much - Ash from Australia

[@colleendeis928]

Where has this channel been!?! I’ve subscribed, liked, shared, and commented to support your channel.😊

[@jeanmilne397]

Your brilliant at explaining all the ins ands out autism. Hope your operation went well and your pain free. Also find it difficult to understand why you don’t have more followers with the amount of the population that has autism also family members that are carers. This has been a god send for me for understanding 🙏👍

[@GeekyGirl36]

Thank you for creating such informative videos! 🤓 I am still trying to figure out my meltdowns and shutdowns with the neurotypical(?) life. Since I do not have another adult to give me feedback, I have to rely on my guessing abilities on how I feel. 🤣 Your explanations help me immensely. Thank you again!

[@zoeynorman6563]

finding your videos very helpful! Weve recently figured out my husband is autistic, SO many things finally make sense! I wondered if you could advice on what to do when an autistic person is shut down for many days in a row or even a week or more? Once my husband gets off work for the holidays he goes into an intense shut down and is very upset about having to do anything besides his special interest. I need his help with things and need to talk to him but he just responds with grunts or ignores me so much, but if I push the issue it leads to a meltdown. I dont know what to do!

[@tanningandtarot]

I need this info too. Days. Weeks. Sometimes months and I’m just left over here like …

[@paulocl2]

I laugh the same clueless laugh as you😅😅😅😅

[@rereb8515]

How long can a shut down / melt down last? My ex has had a major trigger with a new job stage, said he was overwhelmed and needed to be alone all of a sudden right before he started the new job. Haven’t heard from him in 4 weeks. What’s the likelihood he will reach out? It was all going well until the change in jobs

[@joycejoin]

"I have a friend whose cycle usually ranges between 4 and 6 weeks. When we had a serious discussion or when a lot was going on in his life, it could sometimes take months. But he always came back. I didn't know what it was, so it hurt me each time. Now I understand and give him his space. It can help to send a message after a few weeks just saying hello and letting him know you were thinking of him. Also, make it clear that you don't expect anything and give him his time. Sometimes I get a message back saying he's going through a vulnerable period. That's when I know I need to give him some space."

[@tanyaaguayo2859]

Can an adult in the spectrum distinguish between someone wanting a friendship & wanting a romantic relationship? I am neurotipic and have been sharing a lot lately with man on a spectrum and having great times & conversations and although I will settle for a friendship, I would be willing & interested in a romantic relationship. How do I know if he is aware?

[@ThomasHenley]

Hey Tanya! I think it very much depends on the level of cognitive empathy they have, as well how apparent your signals of attraction are I think most autistic men I’ve come across would appreciate being direct. It may be that he is struggling to know if you are interested. Maybe ask him out for dinner, try escalate and flirt a little, then confess your feelings towards him if it feels right It may be that he doesn’t want anything romantic, but you will know this way. If nothing comes of it you can continue being friends, and if he doesn’t know you can let him think about it and continue to connect platonically for time being I hope this helps! 😃

[@tanyaaguayo2859]

Would you recommend I be direct and tell him? 🤔

[@jiggyrage]

Asking directly is preferable to most of us autistics. Hints tend not to work.

[@tanyaaguayo2859]

@@jiggyrage thanks! Appreciate your feedback

[@turtleanton6539]

😊😊😊

[@nobodysperfect06]

Don't know if you watch the show love on the spectrum but thinking about one of the people on there gets me mad and depressed

[@JT-wc7me]

Is this not similar to bipolar?

[@karadiberlino]

Ummm no! 😂😂😂

[@JT-wc7me]

@@karadiberlino why do doctors try so hard to claim its bipolar?