Autism tiktoks I wish my family would watch - part 1

[@youseimonogatari]

I have a meta question, esp for the autistic people watching. Does the intensity of the presentation bother you? Most of these tiktoks are very "loud", if you know what I mean: the visuals are constantly changing (zoom in, zoom out), the voices are emotionally charged, the text is often emotionally charged, facial expressions are intense (exasperation, outrage, cold and hot anger). And they are short and come one right after another. I'm asking, because 1. I find it hard to grasp, follow and relate to info presented like this, and 2. I kinda expected (though I know I shouldn't have for a big bunch of reasons) it to be more "I don't have to perform emotion in conventional ways", more low-key kind of thing.

[@luaharmsen23]

I totally get what you mean and actually worried that it wouldn't be comfortable for some people. What you are saying is totally valid. I just like fast information PERSONALLY because if things are too slow i can't concentrate. If you go to the youtube playlist these videos are there are also some videos in other formats that are more "sensory friendly". There are a couple TED talk videos and also some talks by researchers, all of these are slower paced and could be easier to take in. Sorry these tiktoks were comfortable! Everybody has different ways of taking in information and its completely valid to not resonate woth this one. And thank you for commenting, I'm absolutely sure there are other viewers who feel the same as you do 🎄⛄💗

[@luaharmsen23]

Here is the link to the youtube playlist where you might find some other resources you might enjoy more kzbin.info/aero/PLWD0kY5oNqlqYLxfg4lM19iUGIVGKTeDH

[@youseimonogatari]

@@luaharmsen23 thanks for your perspective and thanks for the recs! And you absolutely don't need to apologise: watching a KZbin video is a very adjustable experience, I can change things or stop any moment, but I still watched till the end. I think I already know the possible answers to my question, I guess I just wanted to say that out loud and maybe get confirmations from others.

[@DreamtaleEnjoyer]

Definitely! I always turn my volume down for tiktok videos, and if it gets too frustrating, I slow it down to 0.5. I’d suggest trying that :)

[@wildflower1397]

If this is intended for neurotypical friends/family to watch, it is not as big of an issue. I suggest you try slowing down the playback speed and use closed captions. It makes the voices lower and slower, and gives you more time to absorb the information. You may want to try pausing after each one and taking a moment to ponder what you just saw before moving on to the next one. Lastly, watch when you don't have any stimulation around you, such as lights or noise. :)

[@batnamedkat]

I told my uncle that I my therapist think I'm either autistic or have ocpd. And he said "just don't let it define you" my mom all the time asked why it matters and why I'm so obsessed about being diagnosed. They have no idea what it's like to know your different your entire life and not know why. While being gaslighted the entire time people telling you that you just need to try harder and listen to the "little voice" you don't have.

[@Creepergirl7794.]

my mom is literally like "you've done so much research about autism and stuff that I feel like you're letting it mold your personality", or it's making me see things that were always there that I'm just now realizing I have

[@AlmostOtaku7]

My mother is neurotypical, and most of the time she's wonderful with meeting me where I am. But she cannot understand the nonverbal thing, and I often feel shamed for not being able to use words when I'm emotional. :/ I may have to "subtly" show her that one...

[@luaharmsen23]

My boyfriend gets non-verbal sometimes. I know it can be extremely hard, and most people are just ignorant about why the body does this. I didn't even know about and I'm going into Speech and Language pathology. I didnt even know and i literally had this as a kid/teen/well into my 20s.🤐 We have a lot to learn in society. I hope your mom can learn to understand too.

[@AlmostOtaku7]

@@luaharmsen23 Interestingly, I have had co-workers who understand and ask if I need to take a 5/15 break or if I'm good to keep going on tasks that don't need vocals. So I genuinely think that most people are getting better with neurodivergent people (and just people with different needs in general). But family can be hard, especially if they aren't ND. These videos are nice, though, it gives a place to start/direct!

[@nickname2935]

Being nonverbal with family is tricky. If situations happen regularly, it might help to set up gestures beforehand. When I was 15, depressed and suicidal, my parents talked in therapy about how they would really like to support me but never knew wether it was a good or a bad day. So we agreed that I would wear hoodies inside the house (covering my head) on bad days. This was a comforting move, so easy to do for me and at the same time a very obvious sign for my parents.

[@vortex_of_creativity]

I've been considering learning sign language so that I can communicate when I go nonverbal. But that would also require anyone else trying to communicate with me to also know sign language lol

[@SharmClucas]

My brother is autistic, and I'm always looking for new ways to help us interact with each other healthily (which is why I'm watching these). When he goes non-verbal I've found it useful to react to him without words too. He's very huggy so I'll hug him and rock with him and pet his hair and just do whatever I can to remind him that he's safe and loved. He usually calms down and is able to get semi verbal and tell me what's really going on, then we work though it together. I'm not sure if this is the best way, but it seems to work for us. Validation first really seems to work with everyone though. BTW, I know Turing, he was amazing. I'm very angry about how society at the time destroyed him for not being "normal".

[@luaharmsen23]

That sounds like a wonderful way to deal with him. If you check this youtube playlist, after my videos I have included lots of other about autism from different perspective you might find useful. There are some tedtalks by autistic people, there are some research lectures and i think the thing you might find the most helpful are the short videos about speech and langauge therapy used for kids with autism. Not sure what age your brother is but I think you can apply the concepts either way. It makes me really happy to see that there are people who are willing to slow down when people with ASD have melt downs or go non-verbal. Just understanding that its a physiological issue is a great step in understanding each other. Sometimes people really need quiet first when they are overloaded so i think you are doing a great job! Thanks for being so sweet to him. Check out more about Speech and Language pathology with autism if you want to learn some additional practical tips 🙏

[@SharmClucas]

​@@luaharmsen23 We're both adults. Thanks for the heads up! This is just how my family works, we all work hard to be there for each other. It's not perfect but I still wish more families worked like mine. I have a lot of physical health problems so he helps me physically and I help him mentally, mostly with emotional regulation or rephrasing things so that it makes sense to the way he thinks. I wouldn't be able to survive without him, and without me he might never be able to get along with our mom. It works out well for both of us. I think any good relationship is like this, where we both put in effort for each other.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

You are a loving sister ❤

[@randomfrog1087]

The intelligence one on the beginning!! My brother very very likely has autism and whilst testing for special ed classes in school he awnsered ‘weird’. The person would have four cards that were rocks, slide, books, and a laundry basket. And she would ask what do you play with at the park. My brother pointed to the rocks, becuase he plays with rocks at parks and builds little statues and walls instead of on the equipment. He was correct, but they just didint have a way to measure his correctness. He’s a genius but neurotypicals can’t tell. He has photographic memory, to the point of being able to draw a map he glanced at two or three times proportionately. Real experience btw. It makes me so mad that there’s one type of intelligence, one type of awnser. The slide. But he chose the rocks.

[@luaharmsen23]

Its incredible how persistent this facination with rocks is across the board with the other autistic people I have me and how we can relate to each other on it is honestly really comforting to me. When i can geek out with my cousin or a friend on how nice this one rock is it makes me so happy that it's almost like typical for us non-typical people. I remember trying to explain to my dad on vacation that i couldn't fit the bag of rocks i found at the beach in my suitcase before the flight home and he was just like WHY would you ever bring those?! I was oddly devastated. But my cousin told me she does the same thing and that made me feel better. The funniest thing to me tho is that my daughter is not a rock collector type of girl but after kindergarten every day she would constantly brig home sticks. Little by little they're numbers grew, more and more sticks, and their size. One day she appeared at pickup with basically a pile of logs, just for her collection i guess.

[@LadyCoyKoi]

That is why IQs are BS!!! They measure ONE type of intelligence, not knowing there are multiple intelligence. There is even spiritual intelligence, existential intelligence, which is always overlooked in the world of psychology.

[@sewathome]

​@luaharmsen23 Comments like this have me reframing so many past experiences. My Dad used to work outdoors a lot, he would bring me home interesting rocks he would find. I never realised that was weird. Dad and I just like rocks 😂 and I ended up becoming a jeweller so the rocks got more expensive later 😂 No one in my nuclear family got diagnosed except my brother with ADHD, but it was a very disfunctional family and I could never work out why. Fast forward a bit and I end up marrying someone who was 'weird like me' and our kids are about to be diagnosed level 3 Autistic. The more we learn we have these constant moments of realisation and we're doing our best to embrace our difference as a family while trying to be a bit more healthy about how we relate to each other.

[@rheaharmsen5819]

This compilation is very very good. I mean it. It informs with real human experience. As a parent/aunt I can see all the things I’ve done wrong 😱 due to not knowing or being informed. As a possible autistic I can identify with so much. I think what you’ve done is brilliant. It’s like a super concentrated pill or lightning speed teaching tool! You go girl!

[@luaharmsen23]

Thank you for commenting mom and supporting me on this journey of finding out more about my brain, you always listen yo my info dumping ❣️❣️❣️ 😘

[@drgnldy8101]

Thank you for posting these. I am over here crying seeing myself in every video!!! I never knew I had ASD/ADHD until this year, age 49. I always felt so alone; y’all making me feel like I found my “tribe.”

[@rainways7586]

Going through the process of getting an ADOS assessment was probably one of the most disappointing experiences of my life, I had been told by 3 of my doctors that a am most definitely stage 1 autistic and we were told to go through the process of diagnosis and it came back inconclusive just as I was beginning to think I found some understanding in my life. Now I’m back to being confused.

[@luaharmsen23]

Yeah that sounds really frustrating. Honestly, it's one of the reasons that I don't know if I will actually get formally diagnosed right now. I'm studying psychology and it is just now a phenomenon that is starting to be written about in the literature: the "diagnosing gap" and the huge lack of understanding for different ways autism can present when it is or is not comorbid with another condition. As well as gender differences. So I'd say don't give up hope, use the tools you find that resonate with you to makeyour life better and if you find the topic interesting i encourage you to keep learning because we can literally wtite history right now in terms of learning how to understand the human brain and behavior better. And believe it or not, sharing with each other on social media is a big help in that growth process. Thanks for watching 🙏

[@MrClarissacain]

Those tests were based on allistic researchers perceptions of boys with extreme presentations. They tend to be inconclusive for female/female presenting/nonbinary individuals or people that mask well.

[@wildflower1397]

It frustrating, but is just a speed bump on your journey to discovering yourself. If tools and activities used to assist people with autism are helpful to you, use them. (Many are also helpful for neurotypical people too, or help them understand others who are not.) Unless a program requires you to have an official diagnosis, or the only way to pay for it is through disability benefits, you can simply say you have autism and participate anyway. Many, many people don't have insurance and cannot afford to get an "official" diagnosis, but know they have it. You are part of a large group of people in your same situation, and the autism community is generally very accepting of "undiagnosed" people. Keep looking for answers and ways to improve your life experience, and you will figure out a lot over time. Even with a diagnosis, it is a lifelong journey, not a destination. I hope you find your answers. :)

[@CrowleyTheWhovian]

I see a lot of videos where people say if you're autistic you may go non-verbal at the end of the day. But personally for me I get super crazy, I stim a lot, I scream, and shout, and I talk a LOT at the end of the day because when I'm at school I mask and I'm super quiet because I don't like to be a pain to teachers, so at the end of the day I stop masking and I go crazy. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this.

[@EsmereldaPea]

Those last two really hit home. Recent ADHD DX at 60. Feeling like I might be autistic as well. Gifted child who struggled in college and never found my career groove. Lots of conflicts with employers, colleagues, friends, and family. Lots of therapy in the last 6 or 7 years and on disability for depression and anxiety. Muddling through "have I been masking all my life and doing a terrible job of it?“

[@LadyCoyKoi]

Na... society is a POS that can't handle diversity in its purest form. Most "normal" people are hypocrites who don';t even follow their own rules and policies, yet expect those with disabilities and disorders to follow those same rules that normal people break all the time. The best we can do is have our own business. F^

[@anniestumpy9918]

This sounds a lot like me 😢 I hope you're doing well!

[@EsmereldaPea]

@anniestumpy9918 - It has definitely been a bumpy ride, but I'm feeling like I'm coming into my "power." By that I mean that I am placing more emphasis on myself and learning to trust myself - taking BACK my power from those I ceded it to. Not in a selfish way. I'm still the same empathic, giving person I've always been. But I'm extending that care and empathy to myself without guilt and without apology. I have ended a LOT of long term relationships that may have been good at one point but had turned toxic. The vast majority of them I still love dearly, but I can't abide by being made out to be "less than" anymore. AND I no longer let those voices live rent-free in my head, taking to heart their all-too freely given criticisms of me that were rarely deserved, especially as harsh as some of them were. There's a lot of grief, loneliness, and doubt that must be worked through in this process but it has been well worth it. It's been a sometimes lonely path, but I have made an effort to get involved in new activities and make new friends. In addition, I've reached out to good friends with whom I just lost touch because life happens. As a matter of fact, I met one such friend who I hadn't seen in 20 years for lunch today. We ended up spending the entire day together into the evening. We even tracked down the mother of the friend who introduced us who we hadn't seen since her son's funeral and visited with her for a couple of hours. These are people who fill my cup and I fill theirs. They are bright, engaging, loving, and genuine. I refuse to participate in drama any more. I don't have the energy for it. And I just ended a new friendship that brought more anxiety and grief than joy. I wish them well, but I'm looking out for myself unapologetically. The meds have helped ease my anxiety and depression. They're not gone - had a brush with a major depressive episode last week, but by recognizing the signs, reaching out to a supportive friend, and communicating what I needed, it helped pull me out of it before I got sucked too far in. I think what has helped even more is just understanding what ADHD is about and understanding that the behaviors I beat myself up about (because others beat me up about them) were largely a result of my undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. Adding coping skills to all that has resulted in a huge shift not just in how I DO things, but in how I think about the things I do and what OTHERS do. Sorry for the book, but I had a great day and feel very hopeful about the future. Hope you are or will feel the same! Edited to add: just rewatched the last two and realized this video was about autism, not ADHD. Lolz. But I addressed several of the autism issues presented. I'll probably never get an autism evaluation but I can still take what I find and learn from it!

[@jenelle11234]

Hearing that self diagnosis is so valid is so validating lol. Because I was literally just told that just because I researched it doesn’t mean it’s true, and that all of my research is useless, and if it doesn’t come from a professional opinion from someone who’s very well studied in it then my self-diagnosis means absolutely fucking nothing apparently.

[@dotwebp]

I’m getting tested for autism in November :D! It’s a while away, but I’m happy that I could at least get it scheduled!

[@mikumikubeammmm]

That's great! I hope it goes well for you.

[@confusedpotato5017]

how's it going with the testing?

[@vortex_of_creativity]

I've been considering learning sign language so that I can communicate when I'm nonverbal, but that would also require other people to know sign language lol

[@isabellaakl6794]

This is such a good video. I am not autistic but I think this is something all people should learn about. I hate that people just view autistic people badly 😔. Thanks for helping us not people in the ASD understand more about our fellow humans! ♥

[@LadyCoyKoi]

There is a reason why those of us who are non-typical neuros tend to gravitate and bond well with other species such as dogs, cats, etc. we can sense and feel almost at their level of senses. There is a part of the brain that focuses mainly on vision (larger than the typicalneuros' brains have). I was actually discussing this vision sensitivity to my sis there other day that my color range is very ultra sensitive compare to the average person which is why I can identify slight differences in color. May not know all of the names, but can tell if one green is closer to cool range or warm range. Could explain why I am able to use every color in the crayon box and make them work together. As a 40 year old who grew up during the super early years of Jimmy Carters' policies of limiting asylums and the whole "stick everyone and anyone with slight disability into hospitals and institutions" I can tell you those of us with disabilities and disorders are far better off today than back when I was a kid. Back then you couldn't even talk about this within the family itself, much less share it with the world. BTW, back then you had to earn your keep and degrees on your own. SPED or any assistance was a death sentence back then... once labeled you were f^

[@CardinalTreehouse]

"Have you ever heard of Allen Turing? Probably not..." You fool, not only did I study electrical engineering, but codes were a special interest for me.

[@Kinuhbud]

5:53 I love her because I am her... everything she said and how she said it...

[@scalylayde8751]

masking gets a lot of flack, which is deserved, but as an autistic person living in a house of other autistic people, my experience is that it's useful for us even among one another. We can overstimulate each other, our autistic expressions can clash, it's not always smooth sailing. Masking becomes an agreed upon set of rules that allows us to compromise and all get what we need to the extend possible, and it requires much less masking than we have to do for neurotypical people

[@kuibeiguahua]

As long as there is as much space as needed to be unmasked

[@emiliz2071]

I'm very lucky that I'm able to be clinically tested soon. I had my gp refer me for a neuropsych, and I followed that up by having my mom call them. While I actively don't live with her and am not a minor 😭

[@anniestumpy9918]

the girls with the IQ Bell curve swears a lot and is fighting against a lot of strawmen 🤔

[@Richan2150]

I don’t find Self-Diagnosis to be enough. Too many ableist people tend to thought I was trying to get attention, or thought I was on a trend of thinking. The only way I see Self-Diagnosis as Valid is the “Self” part, if you prove to yourself that you’re autistic, then you can start clearing out your internalized ableism and begin to be able to understand and take care of yourself. A professional diagnosis takes the wind out of the ableist’s sails and makes it harder for them to say you’re just attention-seeking.

[@sagegreen505]

This made me happy :)

[@DeeWeber]

7:15 very cool

[@FROGGGER.DRAGONSLAYER]

6:22 i watched a movie about him and the shit he did was absolutely incredible. he made one of if not *the* first ever computer to decode nazis messages being sent to ships and troops and stuff and this actually is what allowed the allies to win the war but he killed himself several years later because he was forced to go to conversion and hormone therapy bc that time period was v homophobic.

[@luaharmsen23]

What movie was it?? I wanna watch now. There are so many famous people in history who have been neurodivergent. They always seem to be the ones coming up with innovations.

[@FROGGGER.DRAGONSLAYER]

@@luaharmsen23 it's called the intimidation game i think i watched it on netflix but it was a while ago so it might have been a different streaming service or it might have been removed bc yk it's netflix. good luck w finding it /gen

[@unknownentity7964]

@@FROGGGER.DRAGONSLAYER hi what does /gen mean? Thank you I haven't learned that yet .I go online to learn how to be social better like lol after means it was funny. I seen /j after means it is a joke but I don't know the one you put. Thank you if you can explain me

[@unknownentity7964]

And does any body want to be friends? I have not allowed to have tik tok on my phone because my caregiver says there is too many bad people on there even though I am 9 years and a month older than tik tok rules say the years old you got to be. I watch tik tok here instead so I see videos of people autism like me because I don't have friends in real life not any with no autism and non with autism to. I want to find friends like me but I am not verbal instead I use AAC but people never wait til I finish writing then when I finished they already talk on something else. It makes me so much frustrated feelings. My brother told me a good idea is if I try make friends online. Here online it does not matter I use AAC because on here is everybody typing what they want to say an everyone has to wait to the other person finish their message before they change what they were talking of If anyone wants to be friends I will give my email or phone number because I use WhatsApp. I really want friends especially who got autism to so they understand how it is like an they know why I do things like stimming an don't look at me staring nasty way or bully me. I got bullied a lot before many times because things I do or how I be like from my autism so they just think I am weird and dumb because I cannot talk If you maybe want to be friends but you are not so sure then I will send you stuff about me and things I like. You can see if you like them to and then become friends from a 'shared interest' (my therapist told me that is what it's called when you both like the same thing an talk about it together. Because you talk about shared interest together then you become friends then now you are friends you talk about more things not just shared interest) I find it very hard to talk to a stranger but I can talk easily about my favourite things And does anybody know a other place I can make friends? And do you know if tik tok is safe really because I think it is safe for me because I am an adult I did so much therapy so I know stranger danger and that I got to tell my caregiver if someone is being mean or saying bad things. This KZbin video is all people with autism an they use tik tok. I want to show my caregiver -> so many people with autism use tik tok so I should be allowed as well. It not fair if they can go on it but not me

[@popcorn-milk]

​@@unknownentity7964 Hi hi!! /gen is an example of a tone tag, it means "genuine." I made a quick list of tone tags for you if you want to read it :D /s = sarcasm /j = joke /hj = partially a joke (half joking) /srs = serious /lh = light hearted /gen = genuine /p = platonic /r = romantic /lyr = lyrics /nm = not mad/not upset /neg = negative /pos = positive /f = fake those are some basic ones, i think there are more but yeah :] also do not go on tiktok, it really is just a bad place and i prefer looking at compilation on youtube. as a fellow autistic i can totally relate to having trouble making friends and im sure you'll meet some lovely people soon!!

[@batnamedkat]

Completely random but does anyone else experience physical pain when trying to eat something flavorful sometimes?

[@rosedoesstuff44]

6:08 i had someone tell me one time i was stupid because im autistic and that "A study showed 70% of autistic people are stupid" like what!

[@luaharmsen23]

What a jerk, im sorry. Autism doesn't effect how smart you are.

[@rosedoesstuff44]

@@luaharmsen23 my grandma filed a compilate and she was fired it was my psychiatrist so all is well now

[@susansaunders249]

I’m Autistic. Of course I’ve heard of Alan Turing. 😂

[@DeeWeber]

3:42 I collect rocks too.

[@jenelle11234]

I, for some reason decided yesterday was the day I needed to have the conversation with my mom about how I thought I was autistic and she just completely traumatized me. The conversation went about as good as a freaking housefire. I was called delusional and crazy and someone who is only saying all this stuff because I want a pity party. Yeah really fucking mentally traumatizing for me. But I guess it’s my fault, I was just missing the social cues that she wanted the conversation to be over and I just kept pushing through because I really want to talk about it. And this woman gets so in my head that she’s making me dismiss everything I thought. It’s like gaslighting to the ninth°. She’s convincing me my own research is bogus. And she’s making me like crawl back inside my shell. Now I’m like doubting if I actually have autism or not. I’m not tested but I’d like to get tested and she’s like gaslighting me so hard that I’m thinking I shouldn’t even ask my therapist anymore. It’s really fucking soul crushing. Sorry for trauma dumping. I literally just experienced this like two hours ago, and it’s crippling me.

[@echognomecal6742]

14:15 : Info-dumping. Where can I get info (I know, I see it, I get it) explaining this, or can someone help me, bc I am MISSING something here. Example: I LOVE frugal living. I can talk about it ALL Day. I'm not autistic, just enthusiastic, & yep, in retrospect, I know I've gone overboard w the yap, yap, yap more than once. I, too, have missed the look of, "How much longer do I have to nod politely?" It happens to many, many people. My point, I guess, is that it's not exclusively an autism phenomenon & there are (albeit imperfect) ways to deal w this. Like, I try to remember to start by telling the person, lemme know when I should take a breath, ha ha ha. So they have a "Get Out of Jail Free card" of sorts. It's "normal" to be concerned that you're bothering someone. That's being considerate (as opposed to narcissistic). On that note: QUESTION: Is he saying that everyone just has to endure hearing him go on & on about what's meaningful to him...& probably not so interesting to them? (Also, that's not "narcissistic"?) OFC people should be nice, & saying someone's annoying is super mean, but... I'm not getting this. If this is how he's connecting...he's not Actually connecting, it's really one-sided if people are feeling trapped & bored. (Look. Look how long this is. I go overboard. It's too much. I'm not kidding. I cut this down!) So what's the solution? Bc I didn't hear one :( Thanks for any help, bc this is significant. Being made to feel badly about something you enjoy sucks Mightily! (& ARGH! The very next clip was a rollercoaster of Here's Help: PSYCH!!!)

[@XSR_RUGGER]

As an autistic person I think the difference may be that we sometimes insert the conversation where it doesn't fit. I tend to not let people actually respond as I'm taking so much. It's very much not a conversation on the matter but me expressing my interest and love for the subject matter. Not consciously though. I just talk and talk. I'll go down all the rabbit holes and speak on the intricacies of the topic and then, not really knowing if they're genuinely interested or feigning interest to be polite, I'll take that as the green light to keep talking. I don't think I've connected it to people thinking I'm narcissistic but it does come off as a one sided interaction rather than a conversation.

[@echognomecal6742]

@@XSR_RUGGER that helps, thank you. It's hard to pause & can be hard to correctly interpret signals (even spoken) from someone who might just be being polite, for many people. Back in the day, the purpose of etiquette was to help everyone know what was expected & socially correct so we could feel comfortable & avoid embarrassment. I don't think I've ever come across a simple, clear, socially acceptable way of politely indicating "should I keep on?" or "let's change topics" despite how very helpful that could be for SO many!

[@XSR_RUGGER]

@@echognomecal6742 that would be amazing if there was a nice clear indicator for either "tell me more" or "I have no interest in this, wrap it up" 😂. I think the word narcissist gets thrown around a bit too much these days. During my info dumps, I rarely talk about myself except if my experiences about the subject can clarify some information. I think it's a combination of us so used to sitting "outside" conversations that don't particularly interest us and feigning interest as not to be rude and the overwhelming need to let people know everything all at once about our special interest. From watching other people's conversations about things there's typically a back and forth but info dumping is just that, just dropping ALL the knowledge an autistic person possesses on the subject in one sitting. More lecture than dialogue if you will. I feel like I'm rambling now but I like when people try to genuinely understand another's perspective or experience. My wife is my sounding board for neurotypicals 😆.

[@echognomecal6742]

​@@XSR_RUGGER OH NO! My reply disappeared! Crud! Well, probably good you get only a sum up lol. If ANYONE is rambling, it's ME! I would LOVE to have a clear indicator! It would be SO HELPFUL!!! I looked up "narcissism" after saying I think it has a "true" meaning & a "social" meaning (focusing on one's own needs & not others') & found that "self-centered" is better, but still not great. Thank you again, this is great, making me think & helping me learn. Also: Major Husband-points for the seamless mentioning of the wife. (I kinda wish there was some sort of coupon we could hand out. "Bravo sir, your decency & respect for those you love is noted." lol)

[@XSR_RUGGER]

@@echognomecal6742 the credit must go to you for reaching out and trying to understand others. We definitely need more of that in the world. I would be remiss if I didn't mention her. She's amazing and the reason I even know I'm autistic lol. Poor thing has to deal with two of us in the house. She gets after me for being too literal because for some reason I can't tell when she's joking. She's great though. Thank you for reaching out.

[@MrHeidio9999]

What was the name of the book they recommended in this? I couldn't read it

[@luaharmsen23]

That one about going nonverbal is called "The body keeps the score". Its about trauma.

[@guy_autordie]

High functionning? you mean "on the verge of burnout", right?

[@WerewolfofEpicness]

Most people with adhd do NOT have autism. they have autistic traits due to similarities in the conditions but that is not the same as meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism.

[@vortex_of_creativity]

When doing research into this topic, I discovered that upwards of 80% of people with autism also had adhd. Myself included.

[@WerewolfofEpicness]

@@vortex_of_creativity very true, although Ive seen 50-70%, but the reverse is not

[@WerewolfofEpicness]

@@vortex_of_creativity its like, lets say 40% of apples are red. that doesnt mean 40% of red things are apples

[@knowledgemilldaily]

This. People can have traits of ADHD or autism, that's common. Some people have a form that is much more severe and noticeable immediately. This person for example is extremely fluent verbally, which is something that many people have trouble with even without severe autism.

[@NothingToNoOneInParticular]

Allistic's? I refer to them as normies or npc's...

[@ntombindaba806]

To me it's sounds like everybody in the world is autistic 😢 .we all hate to do so many things, like going to school, going to work , but we do and we realize the good benefits. So I think we are call autistic. Sad things we all have responsibility as a task in life. I just look at it like going to school paid out well, as much as I hated learning, just wanted to play more than learning, but at the end of the day I actually enjoyed learning. This kind of autistic for me , sounds like laziness that I suffered from a lot.

[@rmaatn606]

Yeah, and we all hate standing up for too long, but you don't see me calling people in wheelchairs lazy. Just because you can't see the disability doesn't mean it's not there

[@ElizabethMidfordHatesCops]

Thank you for putting in TikToks that don't rely on text within the video. It was incredibly useful. My only thing is at 14:37 which honestly was pretty mild. It paints NPD negatively, which isn't something I'd want to see on a neurodivergent compilation. It honestly wasn't all that bad, but I still thought I should bring it up.

[@luaharmsen23]

Thank you so much for watching. I see what you mean about that comment, but I don't think he really says it to disparage other neurodivergent people, rather to showcase that that can be how we are seen by others when we are just enjoying our favorite topics. But its pretty mean to see anyone that way really, and not understand that social cognition deficits are a real handicap. I think the feeling he is describing tho is very common for us and it needs to be expressed so we can relate to each other. I know I have had tons of times when I talk on and on about a subject and worry very much later on if I alienated people or not. Also he doesn't say NPD he says narsisitic. I think there is quite a difference between the behaviors we commonly call narcism and a person with enough understanding to go to therapy and get a diagnosis for NPD and be open about it as a disability. But you are right, we are all in this neurodivergent boat together, trying to fight against all the internalized ableism in all of us.

[@ElizabethMidfordHatesCops]

@@luaharmsen23 Definitely! Like I said, it's incredibly mild and I almost didn't comment something about it. But, about where you said "he doesn't say NPD he narcissistic" I really wish it worked that way. I see where you're coming from, and a lot of people think this, but there is no separating the word "narcissist" with the disorder. NPD is so demonized because of how much people hate so called narcissists. A common thing pwNPD discuss is how if NPD was named something different, saying the word narcissist wouldn't be harmful. But unfortunately there isn't that distinction. The two are too closely linked, and that's why it causes harm.

[@biancaoh1841]

Narcissism is a personality trait which is present in the general population. It is a spectrum. Describing a set of behaviours exhibited by ND people as being perceieved as narcissistic is important to broaden the general populations understanding of the root cause of behaviour. This actually helps NPD people by broadening the NT understanding that all behaviour is communication with a root cause - for a NT person to encounter "narcissistic" behaviour or actions of a ND person and be able to pause WITHOUT making the immediate judgement call that what they are doing is bad or purely selfish - this also helps people with NPD be encountered with more compassion and understanding. It's not painting NPD negatively to talk about reexamining our judgements towards behaviours traditionally viewed as narcissistic - it benefits everyone for NT people to be less immediately offended by everything us weirdos do. Just my 2c