Autism Life: Are Autistic People TOO Serious? (The Verbal Spectrum Part 6)

Why do so many people think autistic means humourless & overly serious? It's ironic that so many autistic people laugh about such ideas all the time😂 So many of us have been told we're "too serious for your own good" or that we have "no sense of humour!" it's beyond a joke? There has to be a reason so what is it?
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[@alanguest1979]

I've also noticed that those who have the tendancy to use "humour" as a form of bullying, don't like being ridiculed themselves!

[@graemesutton2919]

Being told 'you've got no sense of humour!' is usually said by people you have confronted over their bad behaviour. It's their dodge to acknowledging their behaviour was not acceptable or hurtful

[@autiejedi5857]

I also don't like jokes at the expense of others. I've never understood what's funny about someone getting hit in the groin, etc. either. My humor is picky aa well, and I frequently get called out for only chuckling when everyone else is doubled over laughing.

[@stephaniet1389]

I was constantly told that I dont have a sense of humor, but I was only told that when the "jokester" was telling a racist or sexist "joke." I do have a sense of humor, but I have standards. Dad/mom jokes are still funny to me, and chaotic unexpected situations can leave me crying tears of laughter. This video reminded me how much adults got angry at me when I found a situation hilarious as a kid.

[@MartKart8]

I often find its Neurotypical people that take life so seriously, being yelled at because they expect me to know a lot about, countries I've never visited, or give an answer to a complex question, I don't understand at all.

[@Ember_Green]

so often has it been assumed that i'm a "prude" just because I don't find some specific dude's banter hilarious. most of the time they then pick on me - "oh, look at her face - she's shocked!" like dude, my family come from Coatbridge, Scotland & would banter you into kingdom come - you're just not that funny, Kevin.

[@Mondomeyer]

NTs have a very specific rule for joking at the expense of others: Humor at the expense of others is just innocent teasing unless it happens to be at MY expense.

[@ladyvoreva2754]

We often find situations, which for Non Autistics are quite serious (for instance, hierarchy rules), ridiculously funny. Situations from everydays life. As systemizers, we find behavioural patterns, which can be pretty hilarious when watched from the outside. We laugh spontaneously about ourselves. I usually like our sense of humour, which often is (or can be) misunderstood.

[@Autistamatic]

Very well said 👍

[@Mistfall254]

One of my classmates received a detention note for assaulting me with a metal spoon and I randomly laughed, that did not go over well with her cliche.

[@RaunienTheFirst]

@@Mistfall254 to be fair, that is funny

[@michaelyyy2872]

The Google AI sent me your channel. It's kind of a shock to me, when I hear autistic KZbinrs tell their stories, because I've never heard anyone who thinks like me before. I read comments here and what has happened to me has also happened to others - I can feel their pain in the comments regarding"respect". Great channel thank you .

[@mdj864]

I am really enjoying this channel-- it is so well done! I hope everyone is ok with me interacting even though I'm an NT, bc I love listening and want to learn from all of you. My kids and husband are autistic and so I respect and admire every one for what you've had to deal with. So please be yourselves and don't worry about saying how you feel about NTs-- it does not bother me in the least bc I don't like a lot of NT's either 😂 ESPECIALLY BULLIES! So back to the subject-- I LOVE humor and it would be great to know what is funny to you bc I am sure, it would be funny to me too. And yes, John Cleese is a favorite--Monty Python too. Thanks for the camaraderie.

[@Autistamatic]

Of course you're welcome! Autistamatic isn't intended to be an autistic echo chamber. The purpose is to help non-autistics learn about and understand the autistic people in their lives as much as for autists to increasingly come together and share our experiences and knowledge. We live in a neurodiverse world, whether we know it or not, and it can only become a better place to live when all of us, neurotypical & neurodivergent alike, learn to understand each other and make the most of our differing strengths 😎

[@mdj864]

@@Autistamatic Thank you! It seems we have a lot in common. I feel that people like us have the ability to connect the disconnect and share our discoveries with the world 💙

[@arasharfa]

the part about adults transfering the guilt of their embarrasment to the child for not understanding what they find funny is a very important one. NT's will assume children laugh because of disrespect when they simply might find something funny because it surprised them. why there should be such value and judgement put to what is considered funny has always confused me. Why is enjoyment of something a sign of disrespect?

[@alanguest1979]

I'm often told "It's only a laugh!" when someone who does something that annoys me, it is as if its compulsory to laugh along with whatever that person thinks is "funny".

[@ashamancito4630]

1:01 wow, that is so spot on. Humor and theoretical discussions, exchanging views, are pretty much the only thing that interests me. Smalltalk and having agreeable discussions is so agressively boring to me, I can hardly put it into words. Additionally, I just do not know what to say in the latter two.

[@tangerinefizz11]

I'm autistic, and though I do have a sense of humor, I often think that other people aren't serious enough. I have little patience for people who don't take seriously the things I feel passionately about. Maybe it's not a good trait, but that's just the way I am.

[@why2goatdagame]

I am often not taken seriously because I joke so much, but then if I’m serious I’m too serious. I’m like what do you want from me?

[@johnrice1943]

People take me serious when I'm joking and blow me off or laugh when I'm serious

[@skyleroudega9052]

The main way I mask is through smiling and laughing (something which can go very wrong), my ex told me while breaking up that I need to stop smiling and laughing so much, after that and after a lot of horrible things happening to me, I find it very hard to smile at all. I used to be very goofy and that’s pretty much gone now. Trying to find my way back, but it’s a hard road no matter which direction I take. Thank you for the video as always, this one especially means a lot to me.

[@ScarryGargoyle]

Brotha, please, keep smiling, keep laughing. Me and you are the same, smiling and laughing is also a big way I mask. I’ve always worked in restaurants, and I’m telling you- I get either complimented oh my smile every single day- or asked WHY I smile so much. The guys at work asked me once, while I’m always smiling so big, and always laughing, and I said, “that’s how you know I’m really nervous ,” There’s nothing wrong with being silly or goofy or smiling or laughing to much. She only said that because she probably is jealous of how pure and beautiful that very thing is. Like who would get mad at it. If you do it at the wrong times, well I do too! These same people use laughter to cope for other things, and it’s literally just hypocritical to say you can’t do it either. You’re ok man. Smile again. I smile my way through life, and when I do, I feel much more fulfilled. There’s even studies that say, the more you smile, the more you trick your self into feeling happy!

[@Mondomeyer]

When you get right down to it, satire is humor at the expense of others.

[@yearginclarke]

I've realized this for a long time but it seems like most people either don't understand this or just don't care.

[@Mondomeyer]

​@@yearginclarkeThat's common.

[@yearginclarke]

@@Mondomeyer Yep it's definitely all too common.

[@Mondomeyer]

​@yearginclarke Come to think of it, when people say "satire," they are other referring to "parody". Many (NTs) use them interchangeably.

[@kiko8u]

You are a true pioneer to understanding autism better. Thank you for your great video’s

[@davestambaugh7282]

I frequently don't watch the whole video because when I see the window showing an other video I automatically assumr the video is almost done with but this guy puts them in the middle of the video instead of at or near the end of the video.

[@aspidoscelis]

I think people don't understand that one can be serious in a light-hearted way. There's being serious because you take yourself seriously and want others to take you seriously as well. And there's being serious because you've forgotten yourself and are absorbed in a topic or activity.

[@MartKart8]

I do wonder if most people are depressed, because of the amount of sarcasm I hear outside and on television? I've often seen and hear panelists on Jeremy Vine Channel 5, get angry at callers for having or seeing things differently like they might gang up on them.

[@justuscrickets]

I absolutely despise pranks and mocking humor, and I've never understood why that makes me humorless in the eyes of others. April Fool's day is a nightmare for me, and TV shows based on pranking and teasing characters or real people just make me miserable. But I can quote whole sketches by comedians like Eddie Izzard, the Monty Python crew, and Mel Brooks, and favorite comedy clips can elicit peals of laughter from my ND family members and me, no matter how many times we've already seen/heard them. I can't count the number of times I've been scolded for laughing at something funny that crossed my mind in the midst of an otherwise serious context, but I'm still generally seen as too serious / lacking a sense of humor.

[@RaunienTheFirst]

Same, pranks aren't funny they're just cruel. That said, I appreciate comedy at the expense of the *powerful*. Punching up, as it's called. But even then, I'm not on board with mocking even the powerful for things they likely have no control over, such as their size, (dis)ability, etc.^ And punching sideways, or worst of all, down, is anything but funny. ^The exception is if the person is entirely unworthy of respect. King Charles III (or monarchs in general, yes that included/includes our "beloved" late Queen Liz 2), Elon Musk, Andrew Tate, Prince Andrew, Ben Shapiro, J K Rowling, Donald Trump etc, are all in my opinion valid targets for (almost) any and all kinds of ridicule, although bigoted "jokes" such as ableism, sexism, racism, are still a no from me.

[@mariuszwisla3230]

Your videos, like this one, make me realise how typically autistic I'm :D in my way of perceiving, reasoning and acting upon my own conclusions. I'm polish, and I learnt english playing RPGs on PC without speakers, I live in UK now for 14 years, but my accent everyone finds strange still. Mockery is present in every country, man of any age who finds it amusing, always pick weakest, easiest targets, they never act alone, but there is only one instigator usually, sorrounded by others. I find enablers the worst, true sociopaths ready to stand by and watch someone's misery.

[@rooster613]

I can't stand bullying humor, and rom-coms leave me cold. I do enjoy puns and satire. And movies like "Airplane!" where the humor lies in taking idioms literally, or "Get Smart" with silly gadgets like shoe phone.

[@AlexandraAPunkt]

This is really good. Thank you.

[@kyleethekelt]

I think humour is so much more subtle than you could ever fit into a short video. It carries endless cultural differences, even withinn subcultures. Here in this part of the world you get teased if you are liked and accepted - no spite or harm intended, though it can sometimes be hard to distinguish between teasing and mocking even though here there is usually aidifference. Along with some of my blind friends (the ones with perfect pitch) I might laugh when, fir instance, a car horn happens to be in tune with a song in my head or on the radio, just as I might cringe or flinch at other sounds. Some of the sounds on your videos are cool and I'd love to know what they are because they make me chuckle. My wit has been described as 'cerebral' or 'acerbic' and, while not many people laugh unless I've borrowed some saying or other from elsewhere, I don't often laugh at their jokes either because I don't understand them. I'm afraid puns make me cringe as I take words very seriously. I do admire your brand name because it's based on proper etymoligy, unlike so many portmanteau words nowadays.

[@saoirse7167]

I agree! I love irony, satire and observational comedy, but comedy at other people's expense makes me uncomfortable. Monty Python over Mr Bean. My own humour is usually wry commentary that often gets blank looks, like the connection I've made makes no sense or I haven't hit the right tone of voice to convey sarcasm.

[@xiuyxy]

That's a point I've tried explaining to others, but they always tell me to be less serious, and that I should just joke with them too. I tell them that does not align with me, and that I joke but not mocking or harassing others. I also tell them it seems to me they make jokes to cover up their hatred towards others, for example with sexist jokes, i cannot avoid thinking they are actually sexist despite it being a "joke". But after a couple messages into this conversation they give up trying to understand...

[@watchingthebees]

I discovered this channel today, and it’s definitely one of the best (if not THE best) channels about autism, and it’s so underrated. I know you already talked about hyperlexia, but as a mainly hyperverbal autistic, I keep wondering if you’re going to make a video about hyperverbal autism, people barely seem to talk about us

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you for your kind comments 😊 There's plenty still to come in The Verbal Spectrum series and new Autistamatic videos come out every week, so watch this space.

[@watchingthebees]

@@Autistamatic oh okay, I’m excited, thanks! 😊

[@ryno_8848]

Sometimes I feel like Neurotypical’s are too shallow. I know not all Nuro typical‘s are like that, but it’s just a pattern. I’ve kind of noticed with some of the Neurotypical‘s I’ve met throughout my life.

[@benmitchell4425]

Relatable as always. Appreciate your work.

[@cristinachaliandroi1369]

You basically call out all the bs of the society. Good job.

[@BooBooBugalugs]

You, sir, are brilliant!

[@janemc5304]

Thank you so much as I have just seen your channel. Spot on ;-) and described perfectly.

[@thewildybeast]

People love to laugh at Comedians deliberately saying something inappropriate. Then show rage when an autistic person mistakenly does the same.

[@mrsm6727]

Another fantastic video, thank you!

[@Cocoanutty0]

I’m glad this video was recommended to me. I always hear about autistic women being seen as playful and manic pixie dream girl types. I do not fit that stereotype AT ALL. I don’t like colorful clothes or giggling and smiling all the time. I’ve been called serious and sensitive my whole life.

[@Autistamatic]

We come in all colours, shapes, sizes, genders, sexualities, preferences and probably flavours too. If all autistic women/girls were "manic pixie dream girls", why would so many have been seen as "tomboys" in childhood? FWIW - many of my personal traits are stereotypically labelled as typical of "female presenting" autists along with many of my cis male autistic friends & contacts. I even did a video on the topic! You're welcome to be serious and sensitive in these comments any time😊

[@Green_Expedition_Drgn]

I've been told I'm too serious my whole life

[@MrsDoorhandle]

It’s actually pretty curious. I can be very funny and come up with very hilarious occurrences, but then I can also find so much stuff people find usually funny so not funny. People can be very confused.

[@lyrablack8621]

Thanks!!

[@kuibeiguahua]

Love you dude

[@karlakay]

Do Autistics Ever Express JOY!? Unfiltered, unexpected, situational JOY ! I don't mean after a joke. I mean during an experience, an accomplishment, a grateful event, a spontaneous Smile?? Or are they never un-anxious enough to appreciate a Joy-inducing moment?? TIA

[@raven4090]

I hate "practical jokes" too. Anything that hurts someone, even if it's just for a minute is not funny. A practical joke ends a friendship with me.

[@AeonZhang]

Thank You 💫🌟🖤🖤🖤🌟💫

[@turtleanton6539]

Yes

[@johnrice1943]

Keep laughing and I'll give you something to laugh about! Lol

[@anthonypena3322]

Seeing the u in humor filled me with anti British rage

[@sarahodom7091]

I hate mockery. American comedians and sitcoms have a disturbing mocking sense of what’s funny and “cool”. I don’t see that in British humor. One summer I was laid up with Lyme and a spinal tap that leaked and watched a lot of Catherine Tate and British comedy! So different from American. In America people love Fox News. It’s just so mean and constant mockery, unending mockery of anybody who doesn’t hold their position. Though to the credit of Americans, Tucker Carlson is the most popular and he doesn’t do that.

[@Anonymous-dh2lt]

Now he's been sacked!

[@ErdrickHero]

Whether it's schadenfreude or empathetic release, the majority of humour is at others' expense. Unfortunately 99% of attempts to avoid this are boring, unfunny, and generally unimpressive because this point of emotional connection of disconnect is what gives a joke it's "stake", for lack of a better term. Comedy = tragedy + time.

[@towzone]

LOL

[@turtleanton6539]

Xdddddd

[@felicitytoad]

🦧🦜