Autistic Life Hacks for Surviving The Holiday Season (5 Top Strategies)

Surviving the holiday season stress-free and avoiding burnout can be a challenging task. However, with the festive season already here, there is already an increase in social demands, and for many of us, these demands can be overwhelming. So, what do we do? This video will feature life hacks recommended by our autistic community on Facebook that you can use as fool-proof strategies for surviving the holiday season.
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🎞️Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
1:14 Hide
1:42 Setting Boundaries
3:03 The Importance of Self-Care
4:15 Coping Strategies while in the moment
4:56 Coping Strategies for Autistic Kids
6:26 Do it your own way
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If you're autistic or think you or someone you love might be on the autism spectrum, this channel is for you!
I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.
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Peace,
~ Paul
#autism #asd #autismawareness

[@terencemeikle534]

No family. No friends. No-one to hide from. Pure heaven! 😊

[@ivanaamidzic]

You gotta find someone that you can hide from. That's crucial.

[@au9parsec]

I'm dreaming of an autistic Christmas 🧩⛄ 🌲 🎁 🧩

[@ivanaamidzic]

My main 'hack' has always been just to hide from everyone - at work, and in my personal life! I prefer spending most of my time by myself in general, and holidays are no exception. I said I prefer it, not that it actually happens. One of my goals in 2024 is to socialize less, way less! I usually fail at this. Alternatively, it would be nice to connect with someone who does not take part in society wide hysteria, binge eating and drinking, family feuds, and is happy to have a nice, interesting conversation, cook a nutritious meal, play a board game, or alike - but I am in no luck with this when it comes to most people I know. This is also first winter holiday and New Year's that I am not travelling anywhere and I am very happy that I made that choice this year. P.S. Walking barefoot on grass - I just imagined that in our Canadian winter! 🙃

[@Alexandra-zu6gi]

That sounds like a really nice way to spend time together.

[@springtwigz]

In the Canadian winter you can just walk in fresh snow with the right shoes on! The sound is so satisfying!!!😊

[@guitarmann3001]

These are genuinely helpful tips! Thank you! Even before I knew I was autistic I invented my own holiday celebration to replace Christmas! 😂

[@michellelambton3636]

My job as a chef has been an unexpected good strategy; I arrive at festive family gathering already tired and they think it’s because of my busy job🤣! So they hand me a beer and have learned not to expect too much. But when I identified as Autistic…they didn’t make a fuss. They still hand me a beer and don’t expect too much😂. I love them for that 🍗🎄❤️ Merry Silly Season, Paul. I also love watching the spider plant in your backdrop grow.

[@clicheguevara5282]

I was a chef for many years before my diagnosis. Now I have no idea how I ever did it. 😂 It was SO stressful and draining.

[@clicheguevara5282]

I was a chef for many years before my diagnosis. Now I have no idea how I ever did it. 😂 It was SO stressful and draining.

[@melaniewantsabeer243]

I was lucky enough that my husband got stationed in Oahu Son told me about the big family holiday hell going on back home So thankful to be here Best Christmas EVER🎄🎄🎄

[@BobDouce]

Ello 😀 ive just turned 60. A late diagnosis, I've had 4yrs of denial and 3yrs of acceptance. During this time I learned to say 'no thank you'. I now have my own holiday with cupboards full of snacks and treats and a measure of rum in my coffees. Its bliss. I buy and give gift's, as and when I please through out the year and sometimes I get it right as well. I leave them on the side as i depart after a visit. This time of year should be about happiness and not convention . 🧔 👍

[@peterwynn2169]

Yes, these are genuinely helpful. Christmas 2021 saw me go to my brother's brother-in-law's place and his partner is a social worker. She understood me and I stayed there for an hour or so, came home for two hours and returned and my brother's sister-in-law was pleased that I returned. They're coming here this year, like they did last year, and I plan to spend some time in my room and come out for a while as well. I also find that not opening all my presents in one go is helpful.

[@AlexLouiseWest]

That sounds really helpful.

[@peterwynn2169]

@@AlexLouiseWest Thank you.

[@AnRodz]

I feel so identified. I have been doing all of these unconsciously, Incredible, who knew,,

[@indigocrow3435]

The last two years, I've opted out entirely from the family celebration and stayed home, watching DVDs on the history of Christmas and stuff like that, plus my favorite Christmas movies, all by myself, cuppa coffee, quiet, lovely. Played a little Christmas music. And as it says in "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," Christmas came. Just the same! It came!

[@ZabavaThePower]

Taking a barefoot walk on the grass during Christmas sounds so Australian :D

[@kensears5099]

I posted this on your other video about this, so I hope it's okay to repeat it: Even before my seismic ASD discovery last April/May I already knew (of course) much of this about myself instinctively. Not having a name or diagnosis for it certainly doesn't mean you're unaware that "something" is there. Anything but! And one thing I have learned over decades of trial-and-error on such family/crowd-gathering occasions is the "rule" that works at least for me: Keep Moving. Not having either the terms or "excuse" to expect others to cut me a break, as it were (i.e., I could hardly say, "You know, because of my ASD this environment is simply too overwhelming for me right now"), I had to instinctively and, yes, in a very lonely way, contrive my coping mechanisms for the things that, bewilderingly, I just couldn't stand. Now, what "Keep Moving" means is, if that particular cauldron of chaotic reverberation and engulfing sensory assault in, say, the dining room where everybody's roaring and chortling and chattering and the walls are practically pulsing with frenetic energy, is just totally beyond my brain's capacity to "place" and cohere in, then of course I just can't be there, no debate. But it won't do to just stand there on the periphery watching, out of some false sense of social debt to be near the "collective." Nor will it do to just sit in another room by myself staring at a wall. Nor can I spend an hour in the bathroom. Any one of those three resorts is simply too obvious and too (regardless of my intention) attention-seeking. It's just too much of a downer to everybody else to know (they will inevitably know) that Ken is "pouting" or "in a bad mood" or maybe even "angry at us?" because, look, he's isolating himself and doesn't want to talk to anybody. Well, not only do I NOT want to spoil everybody else's time, even more than that I DON'T want that attention! But what I find is, nobody is bothered by, or even notices, a person who's scurrying about apparently doing something necessary. It presents the appearance of being involved, of making your contribution, of attending to the "party" and being part of the production. Indeed, it perpetually looks like a moment's digression, to anybody who happens to notice, like you're just popping out of the crowd for a sec to get some extra cutlery, or to wipe up a spill, or to replenish the pretzels, or WHATEVER. No one person pays attention for long enough to notice that this momentary diversion is actually how you're spending practically the entire party or a significant portion of it, and that's great. From my observation over decades, absolutely nobody notices or is any way bothered by it. This is infinitely preferable to hiding in your room only to have somebody come knocking and asking what's wrong. Between occasional escapes to your room, to the bathroom, to the car ("What? We're out of milk? No problem, I'll run to the store!") and then the "Keep Moving" rule when there's absolutely nowhere else to escape to at the moment--and then, yes, punctuate all these "escapes" with the occasionally pleasant, personal, meaningful encounters, those little oases of genuinely substantial exchange on the edges of the obsessive merry-making--all of this combines, in my experience, to a survival strategy that keeps me sane without making anybody else miserable.

[@cblaney3931]

Congratulations on 300K subscribers! In an ideal world I would just hibernate from the start of December until mid January. Aside from the hideous social side of Christmas and New Year, it is so false. Everyone pretending to like each other, and being nice, when two weeks later they'd walk over you in the street if you were dying (okay that might be a bit extreme, but you get the idea)!

[@seabee5695]

Great Video! Perfect timing with excellent coping strategies for the Holidays. Thank you 🎄

[@xiphocostal]

Thankyou. a bit late to the game, but I'm learning to say no to activities I know I'll hate, and saying yes, with strategies, to those I probably will.

[@linden5165]

I'd like to do #1 but also I do like to be with family and compromise for them so I do 2, 3, and 4. I have minimised demands and expectations extensively and I keep up my routine and life so it doesn't feel like as disruptive of a time. It has helped. I feel much better this year than I did last year.

[@chrjsnt]

I really like to socialize with friends and I dont want to miss out on family (a couple of my siblings). I sometimes am the one to plan get togethers with friends. I make sure to tell people in advance when they’re kicked out. At family gatherings, which I do not organize, I arrive late, hide in a different room (doing that right now), and leave early. That works pretty well for me.

[@SILVIATHEGIRLS]

Thank you Paul for your suggestions 🙏🏻, I wish you a lovely festive season however you will spend it and I look forward to see more videos from you in the next year ☀🌈

[@user-eg8ht4im6x]

Yep do it my way and say no when I don’t want to do it! And yes to the things I really want to do.

[@jasonuren3479]

Hiding is my strategy every year tbf. 😊

[@aquarius53866]

You can tell he is in Australia. Barefoot walk in grass and camping. We are in middle of winter. 🥶

[@runinsmth]

#1 for me ;) I didn’t realize when I was younger but I love that I have figured it out

[@AlexLouiseWest]

I’m lucky. I’m seeing my fairly quiet family plus Labrador today for lunch. Christmas Day is just beach walk, church choir, which is my favourite activity and has predictable expectations, and then lunch with a very quiet friend plus parents. Then home to my cat, who is the noisiest of the bunch!

[@pearllindy357]

Thank you, helps me feel less alone, more undsrstood in my choices.

[@lilalakehal4309]

Waouh, so good, thank you 🙏🏼 i feel very seen in my needs and now i have escape plans for xmas - 2 days 😜 best wishes to everyone

[@chiaratiara2575]

Some of us live like this all year round! Great video! Definitely identify with being drained by small talk and doing my best to find a job - which is quite easy the larger the gathering.

[@Alexandra-zu6gi]

Just read somewhere: Your preferences are not my obligation ❤

[@marthamurphy7940]

It goes both ways, though.

[@Alexandra-zu6gi]

Of course! ❤

[@Alexandra-zu6gi]

I and I alone decide who I spend my time /energy /attention/ body with. I prefer to spend it with those who are equally happy with that I like to have te freedom to say no to what makes me uncomfortable and of course the other is free to do so as well.

[@ic7804]

@@marthamurphy7940 I like very much that it goes both ways. I would hate if someone would tell me ever again that they did for me something they didn't wanted to, just to please me. What would please me more, if they were straight with me.

[@paulr17kw]

Thanks. Have a good Christmas🎄

[@CatsAreTheBestPeople-mm1fo]

5:45 Yep, I'm the person volunteering to do any and all mundane jobs at a social gathering. Was recently invited to a wedding where I will know very few people. Terrifying. Solution? I've volunteered to drive the guest shuttle bus for the day. If it all gets too much at the reception, I can escape out to the carpark, hide in the bus and pretend to do some emergency window-cleaning. 👍

[@toaojjc]

I celebrate with close family only. With a planned schedule that includes watching a movie in the middle which does recover me.

[@melissa1150]

Thank you for this.

[@estrick4854]

Excellent video…thanks!

[@inekekyriacou2282]

I like to hide 😊

[@LilMissSpeeedy01]

I set a 3 hour time limit for large gatherings. I find if I am not coping, I take a "toilet break" and decompress alone for 10-15 mins in there

[@i3ignorantidelweb43]

To this day I’m still under my parents tutoring but when I will be indipendent I’ll find the strategy it works for me thanks to all there great vídeos you make, thank you. Happy holidays

[@evemacdonald8654]

I like the first one! 😄

[@Rainer_Landes]

❤

[@Alien_ated-human88]

My strategy is always taking breaks to disappear for some time. When my batteries are recharged and I feel ready I shop up again.

[@megr4576]

A family gathering for Christmas dinner was going so well until a whole bunch of people that I did not know (my cousin's husband's friends from Malawi) suddenly showed up and the whole dynamic got upended. I immediately wanted to leave but I had to hang in there for another 2 hours 😞

[@sasquatl]

I have trouble just getting through work most days

[@koen8185]

Just don't participate ! Never ! Find your own way and none of this conditioning adjustment . My hero is Diogenes , and that's it...

[@zrienkersh1475]

I’ve found taking a low dose of mushrooms or acid helps. Always take in the morning or not too late so you can’t sleep.

[@agathoklesmartinios8414]

My strategy is to stay in my bedroom most of the time and only coming down to scarf down some food, before scurrying back to my lair.

[@xyzxyzxyzxyzxyzxyz]

Eish, I think I'll skip that barefoot stroll this holiday season. Ag, there are moments when I really long for the southern hemisphere. Here up north, trudging through the sleet barefoot is not exactly a jol with that biting Arctic chill running down your spine.

[@OperationDarkside]

I take a #1 for home delivery, please. No packaging needed.

[@natural3362]

Can you make a video about on how not to be rude?

[@elizabethCorkins83]

❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄

[@Devaneurodivergent]

Strategy 1 has been mine for over 20 years without the cats as don't like cats. I have to disagree that we are missing out when choosing this option. We choose this option because we are not interested in any aspect. so do no feel like we are missing out on anything. People see the world through their own eyes and often project there own reality onto us like we are missing out. I don't know about anyone else but I find all the pop ups and noises that go along with them in your videos sensory triggering and distracting, so now I don't watch or listen to your videos thus I just turn the sound off and and only highlight the captions window.

[@simongore29]

Don't pretend. Neurotypical people generally don't have issues with pretending, but it's fine for them not to partake in things that make them uncomfortable. If you don't like it, don't do it - if they don't like that, you won't feel anything anyway 👍

[@BozoDuhClown]

It would be cool if you grew your hair back out and went and had some new dreadlocks done professionally and then just let them freeform from there.

[@ana777]

❤