Autistic parenting Q&A (with

In this week's autistic parenting Q&A Sam of Yo Samdy Sam and I are answering your questions about being an autistic parent.
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A little bit about me:
Hi I'm Purple Ella and my family is an autism family with three out of five of us on the autistic spectrum. I also have a connective tissue disorder (hypermobile Ehlers-danlos syndrome). So life can be a challenge but also a lot of fun.
Helpful links
The National Autistic Society - autism.org.uk
Hypermobility Syndromes Association - hypermobility.org

[@justhereforthe_comments8994]

Being a parent when you’ve got Autism is super overwhelming but so so worth it wouldn’t change it for the world

[@nettie7645]

Absolutely agree with the stages. I loved the preschool years but i didnt cope in the baby years. Mine are 9&10 and excellent humans.

[@Susannamf]

I would love you both to do an updated version of this :) Maybe when @YoSamdySam 's second baby is here?

[@MrsNorry]

Thank you so much for these tips! I have a 22-month-old toddler and I struggle so much with sensory overload ever since he was born. It causes weekly meltdowns for me. I'm going to be using some of these tips now.

[@PurpleElla]

Glad it was helpful!

[@reginawinter6095]

I'm not completely through the video yet hut I feel the need to get my thoughts out about the social behaviour. I can't get it in my head why I should be worried about not being a good role model when it comes to normal social behaviour. What is considered normal behaviour is just superficial. Why would I want her to learn that? Of course she will se me saying please and thank you and hello and so on. But not because it is normal. I do that stuff to people I like and respect because it is nice. I would never ask her to thank somebody for a present she doesn't like or hug someone as a greeting if she doesn't like the hug. That might all be very polite but it is just untrue and hurtful to oneself. I'd rather have her be honest and happy. What I do is ask her if she wants to say goodbye or thank you or give me a kiss. And if she says no there will be no repercussions. Real friends will like you for being you and being a friendly person not for being superficial and polite.

[@simikatra3434]

Totally agree. I'm not big on hugs. And only feel really comfortable hugging my own children, who are all young men now between 18-28, I have a sister who expected and demanded hugs and kisses from my three sons, it always resulted in tears, she would push their boundaries and mine too far, needless to say, she is not liked by them and I've had to go no contact because she has always been nothing but hassle, cruel and twisted.

[@briena8881]

I agree with you in parts. However, I had a lot of struggles learning and understanding others, exactly because my parents raised me to a critical thinker and someone who doesn't blend in that well. It was hard, I tried to distance myself from my weird family for a long time and just wanted to be normal and be accepted. Now I understand, that the clue is to raise your child to a confident being, then the non-conforming socializing will probably get accepted way easier. Because it's just not worth living a life where you are accepted only for your mask.

[@prairiesunflower]

#SaveTheAnderson The Andersons School for autistic students is being shut down in Essex. The parents are looking for help to find media mention to find someone new to come in to save the school. These students have no other school options.

[@tiiaj7589]

It gets easier between 3-12. But then teenaged hormones kick in and independence issues etc. and then the problems became much larger. More “real”, and much harder to solve. Mine are all teens now and although there is mch that is better the hard stuff more difficult. All stages have positives and negatives.

[@cooperkyler8077]

I realize it's kind of randomly asking but do anyone know of a good website to watch newly released series online ?

[@geraldjoaquin9159]

@Cooper Kyler Lately I have been using flixzone. You can find it by googling =)

[@noor-5187]

Lovely video. I adore children and connect with them really well. I feel so much more comfortable around children and elderly people, feel less the need to mask! My dream is becoming a mom but my partner isn't into the idea. He fears I won't handle it well, because my general physical and mental state isn't the most ideal. But I want it so deeply that I believe I will cope (not always nor perfectly but who does?!). I honnestly feel like there is a mom inside of me. It's maybe not the most rational argument but I can't really explain it any other way. If that instinct is so present and I believe I am capable , then why should I deprive myself from it because of autism. Maybe I should show him this video😏

[@gauntlettolife833]

I think that's a great idea! Watch the video together because Ella & To Sandy Sam are so different & they offer "diverse" ( pun not really intended but there you go! ) Experience & approaches. I have 3 children who are all ASD & at least 1 with ADHD. I had no idea until I was 40 that I had Asperger's so if you already have that knowledge & a HUGE support community on the internet & hopefully from Family & friends. All the best, I know it is a decision that you are being very thoughtful about. Take care & hope the video can spark some good conversation for you & your partner.

[@noor-5187]

@@gauntlettolife833 thank u so much

[@briena8881]

I hope you figure it out with your partner. 🍀

[@jerichoburg7065]

This was really interesting - thank you. I just discovered that I'm autistic with ADHD in the process of having my 14-year-old diagnosed. So I'm doing a lot of self-discovery now, with a lot of, "ohhhhh, that's what that was" moments. One thing that struck me in this video was Sam's comment about not projecting herself so much onto her child, and her empathy allowing her to understand what is behind his behavior better, and also being able to talk to children more on their level. I've found this to be absolutely true, and one thing that bothers me a lot about other parents that I see is their constant projecting of themselves onto their kids and not seeing their kids as real people. I feel like my neurodivergent friends are much better at seeing their children as people, and it's so, so important.

[@justhereforthe_comments8994]

I’m a single parent and I found the baby stage super easy (for some it may be different), it was from 2 I started to struggle and now she’s 5 and I really notice how much i struggle with sensory overload

[@rhian2033]

ASD dad of 2 (4-boy, 5-girl) and the constant change of growing up is not helping, both children are showing quite a number of ASD traits and this compounds the former. Not getting any easier :'(

[@PurpleElla]

Sorry to hear this Rhian

[@toniecollard752]

Thank you soooooo much for this video it has helped me alot as I dont get to speak to any other autistic mothers and I find that "normal" mothers dont understand me as me so I have to mask a lot when I'm around them ,I would absolutely love it if we was able to put together a little online group of autistic mothers and mabey have a video chat every now and again and even just a typing chat ,maybe Facebook messenger or the houseparty app would be a good place for us to set this up ,let me know what you think. 😁👍❤

[@PurpleElla]

Hi Tonie, I'm so glad to hear this was useful. Unfortunately I can't commit to anything like this as I'm super busy but I know there is a Facebook group already for autistic Mothers, have a search.

[@garyfrancis5015]

Your such a humble person Ella. You been on you tube 4 times longer than Samdy. And she got 5 times more subscribers. You are doing alga rhymics more now. So that it is Samdy study you tube Alga rhymics. The more likes of a video the more it get suggested to rest of you tube. I hope you get 10k in a couple of months.

[@PurpleElla]

Thanks Gary, I try not to worry about the size of my audience, helping one person should be enough. That said getting to 10k in a couple of months would be lovely 😊

[@evmage7530]

Love you two

[@PurpleElla]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@maijuk802]

This was exactly what I needed at the moment! Thank you so much :)

[@PurpleElla]

You're so welcome!

[@Ember_Green]

This was really good - loving the collabs!

[@bee9678]

Not all 3 of my faves in the same corner of KZbin 😭💕

[@bee9678]

So happy rn x

[@gemmamccabekelly4629]

Great video! xxx

[@julialianjosecarrera5649]

Great vid🤩

[@heedmydemands]

❤

[@tiiaj7589]

My births were all pretty good. Medication free. Second two were at home! (Wonderful) I did a lot of research, not surprisingly, lol. Not that they were the easiest births in history either, but far from the worst.

[@gauntlettolife833]

Same here! Home births are an excellent choice ( obviously need to be aware of any preexisting conditions etc ) but birth has been so "pathologised" & I found I was far more peaceful & empowered being in my own Home. No pain relief either but I could be in whatever position I felt comfortable in. Midwolife was so wonderful !!!

[@PurpleElla]

For sure, I tried to have a home birth but sometimes these things don't work out the way we would like. Glad to hear you had a reasonable experience.

[@gauntlettolife833]

@@PurpleElla I live in a country where Homebirths are Government supported. My midwife had over 30 yrse experience. I did A LOT of research ( that was my "special interest ) I was young when I had my babies & I didn't have ANY health issue ( preexisting or pregnancy related ) so my experience was amazing! I'm saddened that women aren't more empowered that they are designed to have babies & have been for thousands of years. But I completely understand if your health &/or other factors mean Homebirth is not possible. The focus is now you have your beautiful Family big or small. We are very blessed.

[@gauntlettolife833]

Purple Ella I live in a country where Homebirths are Government supported. My midwife had over 30 yrse experience. I did A LOT of research ( that was my "special interest ) I was young when I had my babies & I didn't have ANY health issue ( preexisting or pregnancy related ) so my experience was amazing! I'm saddened that women aren't more empowered that they are designed to have babies & have been for thousands of years. But I completely understand if your health &/or other factors mean Homebirth is not possible. The focus is now you have your beautiful Family big or small. We are very blessed.