Avoid MEN Who Want 50/50 Relationships For THESE 7 Reasons

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you receive the peace and love you deserve ❤ Get your copy of "Love After Heartbreak" here 👉 www.loveafterheartbreak.com. This book will lead you to find peace and happiness in your life.

[@symand3789]

When you use the word relationship, are you referring to a boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife? Because 50-50 can not work in marriage no matter what. But in boyfriend and girlfriend, that is a right way to do it. In marriage a husband is a provider and protector that makes a man responsible of providing 💯. While boyfriend can not be a provider to his girlfriend because the girlfriend is still in her father's, providing bag. If a boyfriend wish to be a father to his girlfriend, it's up to him not a must or a sign of not loving. It is also why a wife can freely call her husband daddy because he took over the father's responsibility. So 50-50 ends once people get into marriage

[@bobbiemichaelsNyc86]

Great video 🎉 thank you for sharing 🙏✨

[@brendafuller1806]

Hi, when will you be in New York again?

[@skinnyguy7773]

@@symand3789 You are utterly delusional, no man is going to marry some broke female who can't provide for herself. Stats show that broke chicks have the LOWEST rates of marriage, let that sink in.

[@djb4858]

Curious on your thoughts when the woman's income far exceeds the man's which is becoming more and more come these days

[@lennybandana]

I rather be single than be in a 50/50. I want to provide, protect and support my future wife🙏🏽❤️

[@hc7092]

Respect 💯

[@mineandmine4528]

@lennybandana859, Respect 🫡

[@shakirahstewart2593]

I know that's right! It's hard to find a good person in this day and age

[@chanelanderson4968]

That’s awesome!

[@lovelylala_32_]

🔥

[@stayce751]

I was married for 10 years. No children and we both worked. He made a lot more than me. He paid for everything. There was never a discussion of who would pay for what. I did all of the housework and cooking, grocery shopping, laundry. We never had any issues-no score keeping, no resentment.

[@iaf4454]

True, it is the best way.

[@sharonjohns1686]

Thanks for sharing. If you don't mind why did the relationship end?

[@jochebedmukanda5171]

What happened to the husband?

[@OItsSasha]

So why didn't it last?

[@stayce751]

@@sharonjohns1686 we ended up divorcing for various other issues that we couldn’t work out. We’re friends and still talk all the time.

[@cutescorpio1]

Thank you for this. It was confirmation for me. I was in a 50/50 marriage that felt like roommates. I did not feel protected or provided for. I did most of the emotional legwork, housework, and childrearing. I didnt realize how much resentment and frustration it caused. I will never do that again.

[@dia_na369]

My marriage was the same. Never again.

[@linaalhout543]

FOH... I'm happy you're out.

[@kyoblack.803]

Me either...11 years too damn long!!!

[@hc7092]

I was in a. 50/50 relationship for 5 years. Aged 19 to 24. Im so glad i got out and know what I want now.

[@mimia.4810]

It’s the leading reason women begin to resent their husbands and divorce. 50/50 destroys relationships.

[@elena-jp6ge]

No. 3 says it all, when a man is into a woman, he will protect, provide and keep her without any calculations. Plain and simple

[@HolisticManifesting]

I was going to say that, #3 is all you need to know, then all the other reasons come behind.

[@blessall8856]

Excellent point! That is a real man and he won't be abusive because he is the provider.

[@susancrawford3672]

Exactly!! #3 said it ALL!

[@kayci27]

I totally agree.

[@tjohnson5760]

Exactly, I was married for 15 years and he is an Ex husband now. We started out 50/50, he worked 2 full time jobs & I worked a full time & PRN job we had 1 daughter together whose now 25. He just stopped paying any bills & I just paid everything because I didn’t want to lose the house, have lights cut off, I started resenting him & was not interested in sex & wanted him out. When I would talk to him & tell him what I needed it became an argument, so masculine energy came into play for me. It took awhile to get the divorce but I couldn’t be happier. The delay was on his part, I basically had enough, so I’ve learned to move differently, just enjoying my SINGLE life & can see ALL the red flags to run for the hills when talking to guys.

[@lilylife4426]

My 90-year-old father-in-law said relationships should be 100%/100%. He supported his wife her whole life and she also stuck by his side when his business was down, she picked up work and helped out, then he got back up again. Loyalty and wanting the best for each other is key!

[@Tee-Star]

100 100 is the provider mindset they don't want.

[@cb4664]

Beautiful. Point is there’s no perfect way. It’s whatever works for those two people.

[@letssee9]

I like this and am glad your grand mother is who she is. Glad for your grand father. That said, sometimes a man wants 50/50 for insurance, he may find out that he doesn't have a woman like your grandmother. Some women will consume all while a man is doing well, then leave and take what she can get when he's down. With 50/50, if she leaves, she takes after putting in.

[@jennyb3933]

⁠@@letssee9 that rarely happens. Stop listening to dusty males on mics. Most men leave their wives when they’re sick. I’ve seen EX wives turn around and go take care of their abusive ex husbands. While some men that make their wives be stay at home moms just so the woman can be dependent on them… he makes sure she doesn’t have money to leave him no matter how crappy he is. Men who use their money to get women, will be “shocked” she leaves when he loses it. Most men that listen to these podcasts and share your same sentiments can only afford 50/50, if even. But want to uphold traditional values. “If she leaves” aka when she’s finally tired of my BS, I gave nothing so I lost nothing, so you think…Interesting it’s always when SHE leaves. Never heard a woman use that line…. Wonder why…

[@GarfieldDonatello89]

Good stuff! Now days women divorce their husband, cause they feel some type of way, which over throws love.

[@stephaniestokeseley631]

I can attest that 50/50 does not work. My now Ex- husband was all about 50/50. I was raised to be an independent woman so I was cool with it until I realized it wasn't a proper split. The kids came along and it became 80 me and 20 him. Frustration, resentment and burnout led to checking out. Everything you said is true. Women were not created to carry certain burdens. Following the biblical roles God told us we should do is best.

[@pander8382]

Going tru da same in my marriage except da kids part,,we have no kid 2geter, now he wants me to pay half 2 get our divorce started

[@stephaniestokeseley631]

@@pander8382 I'm sorry you are having to go through that. I had to pay for mine as well. He tried to use my attorney so he wouldn't have to get his own!

[@abcstyles]

Soooo very true!!

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@stephaniestokeseley631I’m not married, but a couple years ago I thought it was a good idea to get back with an ex and purchase a home TOGETHER and have a child. I feel so unfulfilled as far as he’s concerned. We’re both truck drivers and things have been slow at work, he has his own trucks but I work for a company and he’s been really on my azz about getting a job that pays hourly instead of getting paid for production being that things are slow. Every so often he says things like “he has to pay a brunt of the bills” which he does pay the mortgage and the surveillance system bill along with his bills and I pay all the utilities along with my bills, but that’s all I can afford right now. He has 2 businesses so he makes what I make in a week in a day (and that’s just on the low end) with just his truck. Not to mention last year I worked as a truck driver up until my 9th month of pregnancy and his mom was living here with us too and I still alternated paying the mortgage with him. I feel so overwhelmed because last time I checked it was the man’s role to be more of the provider, not to mention he has 2 of his own businesses. Also a few people has been telling me he’s been going around saying that “he put me in a home” when myself and his dad paid his business taxes (lots and lots of money) (he’s paid most of it back though) so he could even close on the home and I put my half of money down for the closing fees. Internally it’s an absolute nightmare because I know he doesn’t love me and I’m starting to realize he just used me to help him get where he wanted to be. He often says I should have been a nurse because I can make like 3-4 thousand a week. His ex was a nurse. I can’t believe I set myself up to be a part of an unstructured fiasco. When the conversation about marriage comes up he blames it on me not being as financially literate as him, but that’s funny because before I got back with him I had to help him be home owner eligible by covering the taxes for the same business he has previously told me I shouldn’t reap the benefits from because I didn’t help him start it, or he’ll say that we don’t get along good enough for marriage but if we didn’t get alone why would we be in a relationship or living together and furthermore I walk on egg shells daily just so we can co exist.

[@cavikutt9641]

@@beautiful_wonderfullymade Your story is so touching. I'm so sorry that you have to go through all these. In the midst of it all, never forget that Jesus loves you. We're not our mistakes. I pray that God guides you and gives you divine wisdom to navigate this season. The Lord is your strength!

[@kiranholt3296]

I do not want a 50/50 relationship. I want a provider, protector, husband, lover, friend. Nothing less!!

[@titlepending1302]

Same girl

[@Leroy175]

Once you don't preach that strong and independent message. You will find what you are looking for.

[@isabellopes890]

Me too.

[@mscurvy6922]

Yup

[@ruthk2504]

Same

[@Claire-gv7pi]

This is me in my relationship but it’s 75/25. He doesn’t drive or has his own place and says he is always short on money. We live apart and I drive us around, work full time, i have two children and a 4 bedroom house to keep clean and tidy. I feel like the provider and protector for everyone. It has been like this for 3 years! P.s. I have just ended that relationship!

[@jifeak]

Good on you!!

[@sweetvonbettie1]

Thank god!

[@tarawiselove]

And don't go back. Onward and upward, sister!

[@December_baby04]

I AM SCREAMING!!!!!! The person I was dating doesn’t drive so we would be using my car and he would automatically go to the drivers side and be driving US around in MY car. I looked at it as me getting a break from driving but I see the bigger picture now. And he would even bring up me making more money than him when we had disagreements too. I’m also a mom and would be tired from working full time and taking care of a toddler.

[@tarawiselove]

@@December_baby04 Good thing he's in the past.

[@sensukii6446]

I literally broke down crying to this video because I’ve been so frustrated and overwhelmed paying half of all our expenses and inevitably doing most of all the housework laundry,cooking, cleaning- while he gets paid more than me and over sleeps. I feel stuck not wanting to put effort in our relationship and being resentful. I hate this energy.

[@AdrianChang-q5f]

Divorce him asap

[@MyCatsChannel841]

Dang that’s a lot Moms do it all but people forget we’re human to 😢I’ve been there never again 🙏

[@December_baby04]

I hope you left and you’re doing well now ❤

[@rchot84]

You definitely should be splitting house work if yall are splitting bills.

[@jovanniespinosa8748]

Now you see how men feel when we do everything and the women does nothing

[@heiditugers]

If he wants 50/50 it’s a friendship. Will not ever be sleeping with him.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤

[@heiditugers]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks Your very welcome! Thanks for your great content!!

[@1trudiva]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@aminawilliamson2694]

Even in my friendships it was never 50/50

[@janetmunyirich9429]

EVER!! 😂

[@lissettefeliciciano6267]

This is exactly what happened in my relationship. It's sad when you start to shut down mentally, emotionally , sexually and verbally. When you carry too much weight it brings you down .

[@learnbahasaindonesia3361]

I think you shut down because you believe he didn't love you.

[@rengurenge]

@@learnbahasaindonesia3361 When (usually) woman invests more in relationships than man then yes she will start to feel like he is not loving her, like she is not enough to be provided for and is used for cooking, cleaning, children care and other stuff which those 50/50 men believes is "women's job" along working full time job to "cover her own cost".

[@AmericanDreamer]

exactly! If man is not manning and providing for his woman the environment to rest and flourish, she will wither away..and it will show...

[@CJPosh]

I dated someone who was big in 50/50. And I was cool with it. But, realized that he wasn’t interested in protecting women. But, exploiting and taking advantage of good natured women .

[@EcoworksFL]

Same, my experience was not even 50/50, he wanted women to pay for everything for him

[@AminaMina-bx3ze]

​@Ecowork😮sFL

[@YummyBabe94]

What’s crazy is I was in a 50/50 relationship with a man. I thought It was going to be okay. But it was the absolute worst. I began picking up the slack making way less than him and really started resenting him. I eventually began to not have respect for him and not wanting intimacy. I had my own bills and we split every bill down the middle. Ladies do not do what I did. Those two almost three years I watched my mental physical and emotional health take a huge toll. Not only was he not keeping up with the 50/50 he we also cheating and abusive towards me. I left and didn’t look back!! Don’t fall for men who believe in 50/50!! Especially when they’re doing dirt and abusive on top of not being a provider.

[@AmericanDreamer]

my experience too. Man who has no live for you, will do that. It was one sided. I'm sorry for your hurtful experience and wish us both better in the future! 💛

[@lala5061]

Facts facts facts!

[@ladyt4478]

I've never done 50/50. My husband provides and pays for our housing and major needs. He asked me to marry him and should be the provider. I didn't mind helping with small bills and putting money into our savings account. He retired me at 52 and he now pays for everything.

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

Do you guys have a son that you’re raising the same way 😂 it’s a time out here

[@chalottacox5898]

​@@beautiful_wonderfullymadeFacts😂

[@cb4664]

@@beautiful_wonderfullymadea nephew? Step-brother? Something 😂😂

[@Hippidippimahm]

@@cb4664dog walker?? Mailman? Anyone?!?!😂

[@gabbypage6929]

Lucky you

[@AriesSimmer]

Absolutely one of your BEST videos Stephan. 💯 You left no crumbs on this topic!! Any woman who insists on 50/50 dynamics and is unable to RECIEVE is deeply wounded. Heal & grow, sis.

[@pinkishdiamondz]

Precisely. Gotta rest in that feminine energy and balance that masculine.💜

[@nate2759]

I am definitely feminine but, don’t like men to pay for most of my stuff and most of that probably does come from hurt seeing my dad hold it over my mother and our heads growing up.

[@AriesSimmer]

@@nate2759 yep - it's a trauma response. 💯 Your father's actions made you feel unsafe and like you couldn't trust men when it comes to money. But you can and should trust *GOOD MEN* who show deep love by providing for us.

[@nate2759]

@@AriesSimmer I’m married but, still prefer to go 50/50 that’s just me. I can’t see myself changing that. I only trust God I can’t trust people.

[@AriesSimmer]

@@nate2759 to each their own. 💯 I personally have *zero* desire to ever do that.

[@lovely_shan_ashante]

All of this was spot on and from my experience I will never put myself in a 50/50 relationship with a man ever again because it caused so many problems and I came out of my pocket more than he did and he didn’t really contribute as he should’ve. I resented him and because I could’ve did better on my own than with him.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@cutescorpio1]

Same❤

[@brittneysperspective8433]

YUP! Women always find this. You would have had more, and did better if he were gone! Even with kids. Lol 50/50 usually ends up with the woman doing more while the man does less. Only men benefit from 50/50. Women comply with it out of FEAR of depending on a man.

[@lenebrantley221]

​@@brittneysperspective8433Out of fear of depending on a man and out of fear of not keeping the man.

[@dia_na369]

Same and never again

[@leviniabrown5550]

50/50 causes a lot of drama in a relationship. All facts on your points☝️

[@brittanyreneeheals]

I've worked my entire life even as a child and I would be highly grateful for God to bless me with a husband where I can finally be in my feminine energy and nurture my family the way I've always dreamed of! 🙏🏾❤️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏

[@tehillahcomfort6443]

I couldn't agreed more on this, like I just want to rest and feel special to be taken care of with someone for once jeeez

[@chanelanderson4968]

Girl me too! And I’m the oldest child, only girl. Can’t wait to finally be taken care of.

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

Me too! All my life I had to fight 😂

[@maguiedossantos2925]

❤🙏🏼

[@bertbrowm4488]

You are bang on with everything, this is why I have never accepted a guy who says 50/50. I said I do my bit in the home & kids, & you pay all the bills 100% I have always felt that if he doesn't take care of me & provide then he doesn't love me. Providing for me makes me feel loved. I just can't believe how accurate what you say is, I've been preaching this for ever since I've been looking for a husband

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@PhetteHollins]

You put your foot in this episode Stephan 👏I tried articulating this to a guy I was dating who told me that if I’m struggling financially then I need to get 2 or maybe even 3 jobs to make ends meet because he’s a proponent of 50/50😳 I was appalled. He makes almost twice of what I make & yet still required I contribute as if we were “equal.” Needless to say, I no longer entertain him.

[@AFFTFOMSICHTS]

Seriously never talk to that mofo ever again, the audacity.

[@Godzincharge]

You're wise. God will bring you the true partner. Focus on your own wholeness and a whole man will find you.

[@blessingpeters-kj7vc]

He wanted you to work more than your strength, it’s his audacity for me

[@BigblackDavis]

@@blessingpeters-kj7vcgod “audacity”. It’s just tough knowing that when this relationship inevitably ends like most do, I know I’m going to be THOUSANDS in the hole and your Not going to want to make up for that.

[@pablodacosta8356]

If you earn less money than a man, work harder, don't parasite ;)

[@NUGGET_G3TSl1mmed]

Could never do 50/50. In my opinion If the mans not in charge of things financially it just leads to the woman resenting him.

[@blessall8856]

That's exactly right.👍

[@blessall8856]

Also, if he is in charge financially, that doesn't mean he can be abusive in any manner.

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

Tell me about it. I’m learning this as we speak and once you make the unwise decision to make an unintentional man who isn’t marriage minded a father it’s even more difficult. I don’t regret my baby, I love her with every fiber of my being and he’s a great dad and all, but I could have given the privilege to a man who is marriage minded and intentional about me as well as someone who knows the role of the man is to be the primary provider. I feel so unprotected many times.

[@AntonioStewart-ng5pt]

Life is more precious then money lol y’all just need admit that y’all want to live above your means in this life y’all want lives that y’all aren’t willing to work for but want the man to supply it

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Theb yall will say he's controlling the money and abusive if he doesn't buy you expensive clothes. You don't want him to control the money. You want to control the money

[@kaycie471]

I'm single until the right one comes along. Till then being single is turning out to be really peaceful and calming ❤

[@amandipa8368]

❤️❤️

[@King__Tone]

Life long single

[@pablodacosta8356]

You're waiting for your sugar daddy, gold digger

[@evaasher1548]

The amount of compassion, empathy and intelligence this man carries truly speaks in this video. He does not discriminate nor attack anyone, he keeps in mind the inclusivity of every individuals own relationship, he discusses emotional factors while maintaining his ground purpose in the video, and gets to the point. This is a man who deserves respect, very well said. 50/50 creates resentment and scorekeeping. The best man I've been with in terms of finances never wondered or questioned our financial contribution to the relationship, the roles were naturally presumed, and they worked.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@tanyasowell2854]

I totally agree with this!!!!! I just got out of a 4 year relationship that took me no where with the growth process. When I left, I didn't miss him at all. He never gave me anything either, not even a plastic ring. I got laid off from my job during the 4 years and he never asked me "if I Ok?" When I left, I never said a word. It was that easy. There is no growth with 50/50 relationships.

[@DianaDeath]

in my 20s, I got finessed by an abusive boyfriend who earned more but insisted i "pay my fair share" and prove myself to be an equal partner. He wanted our house to be furnished with all kinds of imported fineries, which was a huge burden on me, but I thought I was being an equal modern feminist, or some shit. NEVER AGAIN.

[@steveeleigh3731]

He wanted what??

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏

[@cc1k435]

Seriously, it's kind of like asking someone to lift the same amount when they weigh twice as much. If you had been earning more than him, fine, but people need to consider and value other contributions made to relationships. I hope you kept half the furniture. 😮

[@chrysanthemums4963]

Feminism is 💀. Glad you got out of that relationship

[@irinaivanovic9792]

I had an ex fiancée who was pushy and a male feminist like this too. Ugh! 🤮

[@MB-xv7er]

Best lesson I was taught was to never date 50/50 men. I used my youth and beauty correctly and landed an older man who treats me like a queen. We were together a long time before we got married and everyday I’m thankful I was raised with the right mentality because those 50/50 women look miserable and rough. Some of us just weren’t meant for that type of life, and I’m happy I never have to deal with that

[@blessingpeters-kj7vc]

You’re lucky girllll, not everyone is wired for that 50/50 lifestyle…I wouldn’t mind dating an older man who does everything 100%

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

I’m going to be honest…. from my experience 50/50 relationships are nearly impossible once children come into the picture. How do you expect me to bring 50/50 to the relationship when my innate ability as a woman is to be a caregiving and nurturer to the child? There’s not enough hours in the day to dedicate full time hours to a job then come home and prepare a dinner and tend to the baby, then have time to tend to the man, there’s no way in the world. If men expect women to bring half to the table then respectfully he needs to understand that he has to step outside of his roles and be more hands on the with children and possibly prepare dinner sometimes if he makes it home from work first.

[@HeyLady08]

Exactly this ❤

[@KellyMason-t3v]

Not to mention the physical toll having the children takes on our bodies. I don’t have kids yet but I’m a little worried about working when I’m super pregnant cause of that stress on my baby. He ain’t got a baby inside him he needs to protect from stressors lol!

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@KellyMason-t3v tell me about it. Almost a year later and I’m still not to where I need to be physically after carrying/ delivering. Furthermore a week after the cesarean section I went to the ER for shortness of birth, which I thought nothing of. I simple thought o honestly was trippin and was just buggin because I’ve been cooped up in the house for 7 days, come to find out my blood pressure was like 177/100, they told me my heart was enlarged due to possible postpartum myopathy. I could have stroked out and still considering that I went back to work after my 6 weeks like I didn’t have any health crisis going on. Moral of the story, be sure to marry before you carry and vet a quality man with values to be the man you go through this with.

[@Tee-Star]

In my opinion, if a woman works and bears kids, the man should be 100% responsible for cooking, cleaning, taking care of 100% of the mortgage. That's the true meaning of 50/50.😂

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@Tee-Star it’s only fair !!!! I swear 😂

[@adriana27100]

I think the problem may be that some men grew up in households where the mom was doing a lot more, made more money than the father and did more house work too. So my ex grew up like that and pretty much expected the same of me. It was the only relationship I’ve been in like that and I never want to do that again! I never felt safe with him and for good reason! Best to find out the family up bring fast when you meet someone and figure it out! Thanks again for the confirmation! 🙌🏻❤️🙌🏻

[@womenstriving8960]

Exactly! Men raised by single mothers think women can do it all because their mums did, first of all I’m not your mum, second… you didn’t see your mum struggle, that’s on you! God forbid

[@adriana27100]

@@womenstriving8960 I very much agree! I definitely dated a guy like that in my early 20s and broke up bc I was pretty much going to be his mother for life. No thank you. My ex came from a 2 parent home, they are still married but the mom was the breadwinner and the boss of the household. So that definitely played a part.

[@babou5694]

That’s where the problem started. Mommy babying their sons. Never their daughters but their sons. They do it all the time. They grow up then expect another woman to babying him as well . Some don’t know what picking up after themselves means.

[@adriana27100]

@@babou5694 I feel you very much! Ended relationships bc of it. I am not going to be your replacement mother 😹😹😹

[@dianaisabela7816]

Same happen to me, in my culture men provides and taking care, and I met him , who is another culture and asking me 50/50 , for me was not normal, but I accepted it to show him that I’m not after money, but in the end when I broke up with him he accused me that I used him, wtf , I payed everything you asked me too..and his mother teached him how to behave with women , 50/50 🤯 I put many questions in this relationship and then I said to myself he is not the man that I want to spend the rest of my life. I didn’t felt love , just being used .. no more 50/50 for me, I’d prefer to be single then with a man like that.

[@montezchaseparker]

My wife and I have the "all is ours" relationship. We have no quarrels about finances. So it's 100/100 for us. That's our thing. It may not work for others.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@nunurbizness06]

Exactly, as long as they are contributing in some way, my respect is there. IMO, respect isn’t based on how much money they can contribute but how they treat me,pour into me and the relationship, and their character. Otherwise, it’s like keeping a running “tally” of who bought what for whom or paid what bills, “you owe me!” and competition sets in. That is not teamwork. Women are able to pour into a man and make him feel masculine without even bringing up finances as there are many other ways for a man to provide for/support and be masculine to his lady. The whole point of marriage is “ours” not “mine and yours,” as two become one. 100% is given by both partners and there is no scorecard. Balance and yes, it all depends on the two people in the relationship and finding what works for them.

[@CollinsMich-ox7oh]

That's because the understanding you guys have

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@nunurbizness0650/50 isn't just about finances tho

[@BabyFaceRose]

Facts

[@happynurse1062]

This is a great take and I absolutely agree that women that “want” 50/50 are feeling that way as a defense mechanism. I just want to add one aspect to why these 50/50 relationships end up being sexless. We aren’t wired to be sexually attracted to our children, and when a women takes on too much responsibility in the household, her husband becomes a burden, and she views him more as another child rather than her partner. Once he is similar to a child in her mind, the idea of sex with him becomes repulsive.

[@GarfieldDonatello89]

Highly disagree with your comment. “Women that want 50/50 are feeling that way as a defensive mechanism” I grew up in a household with both parents working. I came from a middle class humble family. At the end of the day my parents are together because they love and support each other. Period. Love wins, not the mentality of one saying “provide” “protect” BS.

[@tarawiselove]

@happynurse1062 The way you described the shift in mentality is a true transition. The romance fades quickly with a man who is similar to a child in a woman's mind.

[@tarawiselove]

@@GarfieldDonatello89 Both parents working does not mean 50/50. The dynamic of men being in a provider role also has nothing to do with economic class.

[@AdrianChang-q5f]

​@@GarfieldDonatello89you all are a burden to your mom but she will never tell you.

[@jasmineshelton759]

​@GarfieldDonatello89 nah, I mean, whatever works for you

[@catalinaramirez2426]

Omg my mind is blown 🤯 this is spot on what happened to my relationship . In the beginning he was supportive attentive and a good provider didn’t ask me for 50/50 . As soon as he found another job and made 10x more than me he started spending money like crazy vacations, cars and clothes and everything else you can think of and that’s when he started asking me for 50/50 and when I would tell him I can’t because my half will cost me more than his half that’s were he started to resent me and push me away and throw things in my face, our relationship turn to no physical contact and absolutely no communication in our relationship . At the end he ended our 8year relationship due to me not helping him financially enough and him feeling like he was left to pick up the burden. Not knowing I did just as much or more taking care of the house and our son. Thank you I really needed to hear this today .

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

Girl this sound sooo familiar to what I’m currently experiencing ! Ugh. This man has two businesses of his own and always throws up in my face that he has to pay a majority of the bills in the home we share. It wasn’t always this way about a year and some change ago we used to take turns paying the mortgage, even when he had his mother living with us I was still responsible for paying my half of the mortgage. I worked up until my 9th month of pregnancy last year as a truck driver and he seems to forget that. It’s like since the baby got here he started acting like a complete hog. I felt sooooo pressed to go back to work immediately after my 6 weeks because I felt like it was only a matter of time before he was going to be on my back about getting back to work. I’ve been back to work for about 9 months now and he’s been harassing me to get a better paying job since trucking is slow right now and has been for a while. Instead of strapping up his boots and getting into the field as he should as the provider he expects me to go find another job, WHICH WOULD BE FINE IF WE DIDN’T HAVE A BABY. As the woman I’m looked at as the nurturer and the caregiver to the child so it’s not as easy for me to just start off new somewhere knowing I would be sacrificing my leniency (if I need to leave because of the baby) I currently get at my current job. It’s so stressful for me because I have to constantly worry about money as though I’m a single mom or the man of the house and it shouldn’t be this way. He makes enough money to comfortably afford things, not to the point where he has an access amount of money to splurge, but me on the other hand I make enough money right now just to pay the utilities as well as my personal bills and honestly I’m ok with that. I don’t complain or resent the fact that I don’t have extra money to blow on hairstyles or nails, hell I don’t even have enough these days to put in my savings, but as long as the bills are paid and my baby has what she needs I’m happy, meanwhile I’m confident that he resents me because I’m not making as much money as I did when he got back together 3 years ago and it puts him to the point where he can’t save up money like he could have before or he may not have enough money to splurge, but wouldn’t that be the same outcome if I decided to leave and he would have to pay the bills he pays now plus the utilities that I pay.

[@KellyMason-t3v]

So sorry you are dealing with this. My ex also resented me because he couldn’t splurge for 2 years after we moved to a new place where his military housing allowance wasn’t as high as it was before in a different city. I was like bro it’s not my fault you bought a truck you def can’t afford. I’m pretty sure he moved into a trailer and I’m not trying to make fun of him for that but I’m guessing it’s not the best living situation compared to what he had when we were together…

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@KellyMason-t3v I’m not trying to make fun of him either , but serves him good 😂 you get what you put out. 😤😤

[@AdrianChang-q5f]

What an atrocious man!

[@AminaMina-bx3ze]

​@beautiful_wonderfullymade I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it's very hard As a woman you shouldn't be treated like this You're not with a real man I genuinely think you'll be better without him at least without his extra stress Good luck for you

[@marv1484]

You are really stepping on my toes with this one. Maybe I should consider therapy for thinking I have to do it all and be independent. You are absolutely right, I am very defensive, I have seen so much negativity in my family from men I have never had the kind of man to pay and do everything and want nothing in return. I recently had got taken out to eat by a man and his wife. He took me and my friend out as well as his wife and paid for everything. I felt like I owed him lol. He looked at me crazy and said I invited you here, just enjoy yourself. I really need therapy because I automatically felt guilty. This video is spot on!!❤

[@shaiii222]

I resonate deeply!! My sis & her fiancé sat down with me recently & asked me serious relationship questions. I mentioned if I ever got married I'd request a prenup because I'm not in it for that! They looked at me crazy 😂🤣 But im so used to doing it on my own, always paying & not seeing good male role models. But since last year im looking deeper into things! 🙏🏾

[@Qwinsede]

You are not use to seeing black women freely being given to….how sad. The black culture at the root is the problem here. Women are supposed to RECEIVE and get taken care of. ….for some reason black men do not like doing this and if you see it happen, you find it weird. Smh Black women please start dating out so you can get taken care of and treated well.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏 I hope you reach the point of truly doing what is best.

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@shaiii222do still get a prenup to protect you

[@Heyu7her3]

50/50 is also more than finances. There so much more that goes into relationships that women can end up taking on

[@nunurbizness06]

Many women are choosing to work from home part/full time, do homeschooling and raise the kids. Couldn’t agree more that it’s about balance and the children and what dynamic works best for each couple.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@tjeripohipose4502]

There’s no woman who prefer 50/50 relationship…

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Believe it or not, there are women who say this is what they want.

[@jaimepimentel1502]

Yeah women want 100/0 where men put 100% effort and women put 0 effort.

[@kw6724]

Not true at all. Some women prefer 50/50 to be viewed as more of an equal. A lot of men that pays all or majority of the bills tends to use that to their advantage. Meaning, they become controlling. So yes, some women actually prefer the 50/50 route.

[@chasechance3002]

That's just not true some women do prefer 50/50 I'm not one of them

[@digthewarmth]

I've definitely heard some women say they prefer 50/50, so that they can feel like an equal head of the household. They must have been hurt by not seeing good men leaders of their households.

[@CC-kr3mr]

Additionally, in my personal experience, I’ve found that men who are cheap with their money are cheap with their love. Although I am financially independent and successful, I take a wide berth around a man who gives me ant indication that he isn’t generous.

[@iwillsurvive1335]

That's a red flag 🚩

[@higherrealms5309]

My man takes his spending money out of his check and turns the rest over to me to pay bills, get stuff for the kids, or even pay for things here and there when we go out. He’s not checking every line item of what I’m spending, but just trusts everything is being taken care of, which it is. This works for us, and I wouldn’t want it any other way 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@itsyourgirlval6457]

That's how my mom's husband is.

[@YouAREyoubeYou]

Same for our family. -this works especially if you are better at finances. Some men can’t handle this. I’m a military veteran am I run my household as such. Our boys and daughter cleans, my husband does too. He also cooks and does laundry.

[@dsparks5308]

​@@YouAREyoubeYouBeautiful ❤

[@BrinAmberlee]

I have always done “50/50” in all of my past relationships and I will never do it ever again. I always ended up pulling the entirety in the household so it was never truly 50/50. It also made me resent my partner.

[@bleugirl101]

Stephan, you are on a roll for the past few days! 🙌🏾 I totally agree with you on the respect point. A lot of times when men are not stepping up to their roles and showing that masculine energy, women feel insecure and lose respect for them, which as you said, snowballs.

[@Qwinsede]

Again, this scenario only plays out in black culture. The majority of Persian/Arab, White and Latino MEN are not asking their women to do “50/50”. Only black women are asked to do this (BY BLACK MEN) because of trauma and unhealed struggle. Nobody wants to discuss that tho. The men fear that black women are golddiggers and black women fear being left high and dry. Both need to heal those issues or consider not dating until it’s more healthy. I really wish black women would consider being with provider men who are generous, even if it means avoiding black men who are the only ones pushing this 50/50 crap. There is nothing wrong with a black woman wanting a soft life so she can rest in her femininity like the other women get to do. Date out ladies because black men are not generous providers…black men want black women to struggle

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

[@lenebrantley221]

​@@QwinsedeYou are absolutely 💯 right.

[@abeautifullady5057]

I absolutely agree 💯

[@abeautifullady5057]

I never agree with 50/50.. I’m in a 50/50 but it’s bothering me big time and his thing is he comes from women who work, grandma momma sister but I’m like ok that’s them it’s not me and it’s not biblical.. I definitely don’t mind helping and yea I do all chores of course and I always throw some romance up in there, often, from time to time… this generation, these men, I don’t know. 50/50 will not be for the next 50 for me. I love him truly and he is awesome but he needs to I guess be awakened more or less

[@rosamoreno4794]

On a 1st date, if a man asks to split the bill, that is a H U G E turn off to most women. I will say “ oh! I thought we were on a date?” I would not consider a 2nd date. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Most women would lose attraction and respect immensely & immediately🤷🏻‍♀️

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏

[@_lizmc]

Yep. Because women know another guy wouldn’t even ask to go half

[@blessall8856]

Totally agree!

[@irinaivanovic9792]

That’s exactly what happened to me. Never wanted to see the guy again. 👎🏻

[@Shante_NC]

I agree the first date should be on the man the second date as well and as time goes on I might ask him do he need me to spilt the bill I don't mind it but some men think woman supposed to go 50 50 on every date

[@matildamaher1505]

Modern generations created this. Never start a 50/50 relationship, it hurts in the long run, especially wonen get stressed out. Thank you brother for explaining it so well.

[@AfuaYmani]

This was on point. You communicated my sentiments so clearly. In order for me to be my best self in the relationship, I need a man who is willing and able to provide. He must take care of the shelter and utilities. I'm willing to buy food and household items, fund the decor, pay the house cleaner, cook, make his house a home and make his life easier and beautiful. But I wouod rather remain single than settle for 50/50. The man I say yes to has to cherish me, adore me and want to cover me. On menses.

[@amazinggrace313]

You would be perfect

[@AfuaYmani]

@@amazinggrace313 perfect for... ?

[@Ziggimomspal68]

My 40-year marriage was everything commingled…we shared everything. He was the best…loved him to pieces till he passed away.

[@ajohonly3721]

May he rest in haven. I’m so sorry he’s not here by your side.

[@loismartin9634]

Sorry for your lost. You were blessed to have shared a loving union with a God chosen man. May her forever rest in peace ❤️

[@themadmillionaire]

🥰🙏🏿

[@Daisy_Aimee]

Completely agree with this. With reference to Proverbs 31, a woman of wisdom could play a vital role to contribute to the success of her home.Yet, the man, reasonably, should not propose or hint at this any 50/50 deal. The marriage should be in line with the principle of giving and receiving and there's more happiness in giving...in 50/50 circumstances the lady eventually bears it all, aging with fatigue and sometimes resentment when the man ages like fine wine and uses his money later in his old age to indulge himself(based on observation)...

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@nthabisengbapela7746]

Very true that. Its prefered by parasites

[@acd1168]

I agree with everything you said. My therapist phrased it the same way. I tried to be in a 50/50 relationship in hopes that he would eventually step up and start reciprocate. That never happened and when I felt drained he said LITERALLY to my face “what else you got?” 🤯 In the end, I still won because I learned not to ever go 50/50 in a relationship. ✌🏾

[@geralddial3154]

simple question. Yes or no. Does the man ever become drained also?

[@acd1168]

@@geralddial3154 Definitely. It happens but men have more testosterone so they don’t get depleted as quickly.

[@geralddial3154]

@acd1168 once you women learn equally yoked means 50/50. You will never be equally yoked to a man that has to support you. Like let's say if I am a millionaire you aren't my equal. Can you do something of equivalent value? No, but because you're a woman ( child) we have to force the scale to balance to equal postion to make you feel better. To make you feel equal. It's a contradiction within self. ☯️ like this sign. One side is equally yoked but if you look closer. It isn't. Women to learn this .

[@acd1168]

@@geralddial3154 Run your house how you want but I don’t want equality to a man. Women are far superior. Men need women not the other way around.

[@cookie22100]

@@geralddial3154I’m a woman that currently goes 100/0 with my husband. We’ve been together for 10 years. He has a college degree and makes very good money, which has afforded me the luxury to go to school full time. Even though he is above me in his career, we are still 100% “equally yolked”, because there is more to a relationship than just finances. There are things that I am good at and do, and things that he is good at, like making money and providing. He never complains about having to support me and understands what the end goal is for our family.

[@WahkeenaSitka]

I've literally never been in a single relationship in my life where a man was a provider or caretaker for me (other than my dad), so I don't even know what this means. And I'm 43. I've always had to provide for myself and be completely self-reliant and have learned to never expect to receive support from my partner.

[@actscigirl37]

😢

[@sandranardella5516]

Totally can relate

[@actscigirl37]

I really hope this will turn around for you sis.

[@brisay1844]

You are beautiful girl. You don't need a man who doesn't want to take care of you financially while you take care of him at home.

[@nthabisengbapela7746]

😢😢

[@nguyenthuyduong7939]

I have only been through the first point, but I can totally agree. My ex and I wanted a 50/50 relationship and we both felt like we needed to do more than the other and felt that we were treated unfairly. And I can tell you, it caused so much resentment between us and yes, now we are not together.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏

[@iaf4454]

I agree completely, that is why 50 50 dont work out. Men abandon you and provide 100 for the next woman he dates. Women feel resentful after doing so much for a man that at the end will leave her for another younger one ... he got her money and intimacy with no effort and did little to earn it. That is the worst thing a woman can do. I am against this trend

[@Reycobaby]

@@iaf4454 fact

[@queenofdivas5494]

OMG this video showed up in my notifications right after speaking with a man who believes in 50/50 and believes the man and woman don't have separate roles....this Gods way of speaking to me lol

[@joanwallace1962]

For me, this is a long awaited video which deserves a “Grammy Award” for it’s content. It details and breaks down, into sections, why, 50/50 long term agreements in male/female romantic relationships are best avoided, and, with it’s Martin Lewis style financial planning tips if there is a short term requirement for 50/50 in order to fulfill a long term healthy relationship objective, it is evident from the number of likes, how important this subject is. Thank you Stephan for trail blazing a subject that most would be reluctant to broach with such honesty, wisdom and insight. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👍🏾💯❤️

[@dubreil07]

I knew a girl who made half her boyfriends salary and was paying half the rent. It’s weird cause we were both financial counselors and I told her you aren’t paying 50/50 you are paying the majority of the rent

[@tarawiselove]

It's more challenging when you're 'inside the box'. Glad you offered an outside perspective as a friend.

[@laurenvictoria3486]

That was me in my last relationship. He made 65k and I was making 35k i was struggling. He wanted fancy things and to go out and for me to cook. I was struggling for 3 years while he saved his money. I had no savings at all and he didn’t care. Thank god I’m not with him anymore.

[@jibarabicha4853]

I was groomed into a 40/60 relationship that led to marriage. As soon as we got married and he paid the deposit to our apartment, he held that over me the entire time. I was a single mom out of college and this guy had a major savior complex. I took on a job that made $30K more than him and he refused to get a better job so we could start a family together and I wouldn’t have to worry about finances on maternity leave. He still pressed that he wanted to bring a child to this world, without maximizing his earning potential. Everything was riding on my income to happen and I was miserable. He accused me of being a ‘gold digger’ for asking him to step into his masculine role. I felt so unloved and defensive all the time -it was exhausting. The truth here was that on top of his laziness, deep inside, he didn’t want to step into a role of provider to a woman who was already a single mom. He married me for attraction and the social status I brought him as a married man in his circle. He would never admit that he had a chip on his shoulder about this and that is why he never could be the man that me and my daughter needed.

[@Camillyahreal]

Just to be clear, you had a child before him?

[@mineandmine4528]

Your ex husband sounds like my ex husband. He made more than be but still demanded 40/60. Any small contribution he made he expected me to worship him. I most of the contributions and it was expected. I wish I would have heard this 20 years ago.

[@jibarabicha4853]

@@Camillyahreal Yes, I was a single mom to a 4 y/o when he met me.

[@jibarabicha4853]

@@mineandmine4528 I’m glad you’re out of that relationship and hopefully you are doing well now :) I agree-if these videos existed before we could have gotten some validation on those red flags and moved on faster. The ladies of this generation have so much information at their disposal and don’t have to rely on their environments for guidance.

[@Camillyahreal]

@@jibarabicha4853 oh, OK no shade. To you lady, I’m a single parent mom to the reason why I ask is because I noticed a lot of men in today’s world follow that manospear/redpill bullshit where they’ve been conditioned not to legally marry a woman, take her to serious, who already has children. These kinds of males don’t marry women with children. basically they just use us this for sex and other things like most men do.. use women I couldn’t help but think of that when I read your comment

[@liviannafaria]

Hi Stephan. I just wanted to say that when you meet someone and they say they love you and want to take care of you and have a family with you, for you to believe them is to risk your future because as their feelings change so does their desire change to fulfill what they promised. And then you are also not only feeling hurt but also disrespected and also without a financial leg to stand on. This has been my experience for the last 20 years. I wish I had seen this video 20 years ago and then if would of saved me from making a bad decision that I would regret forever❤

[@tinahankins2443]

My friend just told me yesterday that he wants a 50/50 relationship and I told him what you said and he got quiet and changed the subject! 😂😂😂

[@pris_pris]

EVERYTHING you are saying, FACTS!!! But in the mean time he’s saving and will provide FULLY for who he really loves and wants.

[@lala5061]

And that's effed up...😢

[@Chellz727]

Majority of relationships ive seen doing 50/50 dont last. Someone is always going to keep score and with that brings pettiness and resentment. Dont fall for it. You've been warned.

[@meaganj]

Ladies open your options to other communities of men that don’t evoke this ridiculous 50/50 conversation.

[@shayemoore]

Exactly 💯 💯 💯. I never have this conversation with non-Black men. BM are lazy leaches who want ALL the benefits without working hard.

[@cookie22100]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Fay1106]

Some not all don't think all other races are different I've dated a few cheap ones who were of other races and men who were black who spoiled me it's just based on the man

[@meaganj]

@@Fay1106 I stated open your options.. I never typed that other races are different. This is sad 😢

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

If a woman contributes nothing to a relationship but "looks" or whatever the hell then the notion isn't ridiculous.

[@LoveGodEternal]

You broke it down and I love and appreciate how real you keep it.

[@MrsLauraVNL]

That's so interesting! I was in a 50/50 relationship with a wonderful man, but eventually I did lose some respect for him, the attraction aspect suffered a lot, and I definitely treated him differently by the end of it. His financial situation didn't make me feel "safe", especially when I thought about us having a future together (my career was growing and he seemed to be stuck financially), and I had to end the relationship.

[@lionessprowess3581]

That’s not alarming unless he is not willing to take steps to make more when you want the option to stay home with your baby.

[@Angryegaroq]

I’m 26, a married man, and this video gone make me dang near kms to keep my family together. Let me put these applications in.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[@nathanheath3756]

Keep up the good work. Your family is proud of you.

[@sherryporter4740]

Balance is necessary!!! When I was married the ex paid the bulk of the bills, and I came in and helped where needed. That worked great for us, working together as a team is key!!!

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

I need a relationship like that 🥴🤣

[@geralddial3154]

ying and yang

[@karlsinclair9285]

then, why are you not married to your ex, now?

[@parishers6351]

Still roommate settings

[@yardleyhbk]

Why u guys got divorced?

[@katied2196]

Completely agree and resentment will definitely snowball to affect Intimacy and attraction..

[@coryjackson6944]

Thank you 🙏🏾 for covering this topic.. Honestly, I am tired of the struggle, tug of war dynamics between men and women in this modern era. 😔 Frankly I find it draining, exhaustive even and I’m just a spectator..

[@raebaeglam]

I don't comment much but I have so much respect and love for this man...he is wise..being knowledgeable is one thing...but wisdom is the application of knowledge and he is that! I truly enjoy your videos. God bless

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much and may God bless you as well!

[@raebaeglam]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks ❤️

[@lidiapanettiere7268]

An eye opener! I was considering dating someone who believe 50/50 is the best. I also believe that was the best decision. But after this video everything makes sense..❤

[@lionessprowess3581]

It works for some couples. What Stephen is pointing out is there’s gonna be a point in your LTR when the kids arrive, for example, when the mother will be more burdened and can cause resentment.

[@yourbodyandu]

Now I understand what was wrong. I was in defense mode by trying to start out a relationship as 50/50. In my previous relationship, money was used against me. In the newer relationship, instead of him doing 50/50, I ended up doing almost everything. I tried to turn tasks over to him but he just wouldn't do them. There was always some excuse. From earning money, to budgeting, paying bills, shopping, chores. I was exhaused. Now, I'm in a much better situation.

[@babou5694]

Exactly! The woman becomes exhausted. Children, cooking, cleaning, work , take care the man ect… all that is on her. The man just go to work bring his 50 and then that’s it. Some don’t contribute at all in the household. I always say men got it good. I see it all the time growing up. These man got it good .

[@stephf4175]

This commentary is so on point, Stephan. I used to offer to go Dutch from the start when on a date because I didn't want to feel like I owed a man something (meaning I kept my defense up) after the proverbial "steak and lobster" meal. Maturity & healing have taught me this is not the way to start of my preferred type of healthy relationship as it pertains to this specific topic. Also, I love reason #6 around 25:00 in. If you look at a yin & yang symbol, that offers a great visual for this point. Notice within the circle of completion which holds the two different parts together, the parts although not divided by a straight 50/50 line, are BALANCED. ☯️👍🏽

[@seekingnorthnode1399]

14:54 Had to replay that! 2 years post break up from a relationship like this. Stayed 11 because i was scared to be alone. However, over the last couple years of the relationship I realized that i was pretty much doing it alone. I was worse than alone because of how my ex acted on top of being financially self focused. His mental processing was draining me emotionally and financially. Walk away from any one, male or female, who always thinks of their own wants and needs first. They wont change and dont even see or care how they are burdening others by not owning their own responsibilities.

[@LRWills-qq8eb]

This is facts

[@lionessprowess3581]

Same. It took yeaaaars for my boyfriend to acknowledge that men makes more than women that are working the same jobs (his colleague makes USD$40,000 less even though she has more experience than him).

[@juliagates4573]

I was in a 50/50 for 5 years. I was selling my stuff to pay my half of rent and it was pocket change for him. Tried having a counselor mediate a discussion about it and it turned into a huge fight

[@ashb452]

I need for so many more men and women to hear this. I like how you tapped into agreeing to 50/50 as a defense mechanism. You made me look at this from a different lense. I needed to hear this. Thank you so much.

[@bexiloveorion]

I think there are starting relationships that start 50/50 since it’s practical in the beginning and then later once they have gotten into an engaged one then it’s only very understandable when partners have to support each other depending on how much they are able to provide. Not every couple have same income. And give and take, both will partner to build and work as a team. ❤

[@1trudiva]

I never believed in 50/50 anyway…… I believe in having balance in a relationship. So it may be 60/40, 10/90, 70/30, 20/80 at times….. one stepping up when the other fall short….. but I do agree that the man should strive to take on the greater burden in a relationship.

[@ladyofspa]

Childbirth isn't 50/50,breastfeeding isn't 50/50, making a house a home isn't 50/50, me keeping my beauty up $ isn't 50/50, it's not cherishing of her or respecting of him.

[@GarfieldDonatello89]

Sound like a child

[@rchot84]

No thats miniscule compared to paying out 6k a month and working 70 hours a week.

[@jocelyn3376]

⁠@@rchot84you think childbirth is minuscule? What an idiot

[@hughjanus2781]

Making a house a home is definitely 50/50 protecting the family from an attacker is 100/0 man. Childbirth and breastfeeding 🤱 may be more on the woman but in most couples it’s the woman that either wants more kids than the man does or wants kids before he is ready for kids. So don’t sit there and try to make it seem like you are doing a favor to the man by having kids when you want children in most cases more than he does.

[@lisan8007]

So true based on my own experience as well. Had so many fights w/ farther of my son. There was no love at that point. Now I make much more than my bf. He tries to take on himself as much as he can. I can see how much he cares.

[@ShottiePippen]

As a man everyday I’m reminded to just focus on myself and only prioritize my needs and wants. Thank you for the free game.

[@ebonylyn6104]

This is the best I’ve heard this topic broken down. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. Thank you ❤

[@mayohsetsuna]

Currently in a committed relationship. We’ve never had a 50/50 convo. He’s always been the sole provider in past relationships, but I’m the first girl to throw him for a spin because my income is sometimes more. He has a strong desire to provide, and I let him because I see he needs to do it. I just casually slip some money in his wallet every now and then for the sake of my conscious. Sometimes he notices, sometimes he doesnt. Either way I make out because he’ll happily spend it on me. 😂 I paid for that smile on his face, no regrets. ❤ But yeah, there really is no such thing as 50/50.

[@gailainsley6939]

This is the best explanation I’ve watched as to why 50/50 doesn’t work. Thanks ♥️♥️

[@yana.miller]

I just left a 50/50 relashionship this year. My first and for most the worst experience ever. My ex partner has turned out to be a very greedy person. It reached a point when every little thing needed to be paid half half between us. It became an absurd. I was stressed as hell. Never felt safe, respected, loved or secured in that relashionship. When a man tells you lets live 50/50 - its not about love ladies! Its just like living with a room mate. Also, I found that he was checking other girls online as well...

[@user-oz5ky8wf3r]

I saw you the 1st time on the dear future wifey podcast. I've been following you since and you carry so much wisdom. Thanks for allowing God to use you like this❤

[@Limoncito2015]

You couldn't of explained this better, PERFECT ♥️

[@julianaanazor4921]

All the points you made is accurate, I see my man as the provider and protector and if he sees me as his love , I believe he should be able to provide for me and not shift the burden to me knowing fully well that I have my own role to play in our home too and if that happens it will stress my mind and exhume a lot of negativity

[@saralove6974]

Your right mr💯 Onely broke men want 50 50 Don't waste your time ladies

[@01Galileo]

Stephen if I may so, this video is one of your best videos. Keep schooling us sweetheart. Thank you so much 💕

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

My pleasure ❤️

[@sharron746]

This video really hit me. It is so spot on. It described my past to a T. I am old fashion in a sense so I dont even want a 50/50 relationship. I respect a man who leads in every way so that I can support him in every way. All Praises to the Heavenly Father for giving this.

[@yota0209]

I dont think a lot of people look at 50/50 the way you break it down. I think they look at it as, "he does his part, as I do mine". I totally agree there has to be balance in a relationship. Where you're weak & I am strong, I handle it & vice versa. If it can't be "we, us or ours" then we should not be together! There should be NO control over another. We will do this as a TEAM in a way that works for US to make sure we come together in a common bond. This is a conversation that needs to be had & agreed upon in the beginning stages of a relationship.

[@ALS2WA]

Yes! One hand washes the other.

[@michaeljmyers1995]

The best we can do is never going to be 50/50 because we're always different and the world is never equal. The best we can do is the best we can do and understand each other and solve the problem. Thats what i took from this. The first point definitely cleared up my misunderstandings

[@sunniesofit]

This was excellent. Never again. They will resent you especially if your income is significantly higher. I remember being verbally abused for being able to still shop after I paid my “half” of bills. Now I pay all my bills alone and shop peacefully until I drop ❤ 100 %

[@LoveLight7]

Your book on Healing is exactly what I need right now. You're a Great Man and Counselor, Stephan.. May God Bless your intentions and purpose.

[@shautonanderson2602]

Stephan, all I can say is thank you for your wisdom. 🙏🏾

[@shautonanderson2602]

​@Stephanspeak09 I agree with everything you said. Some may not agree but I am a person that for the most part, believes in gender roles. I definitely would not want to be in a relationship where everything is always 50/50. I do feel that a man should be a provider and protector. That does not mean that he has to "take care" of me and everything financially, but it does mean that he should want to and make an effort to provide for his family and not "keep count" on who paid for what. Question, What's your perspective on the dynamic between a couple when the woman makes more money than the man?

[@nolacanola]

This is why I from the jump told my husband that I’m not paying bills and it is his responsibility. Because I knew I’m going to be the one taking care of the house, cooking and raising our kids, and if I promise to do anything more, I will resent him.

[@sweetvonbettie1]

How can someone handle all that while also working tho? For example i will never quit my job. I have no kids. But i do work long hours and so does he, he said he is a provider.

[@marquisamurphy-glover5452]

It's a turn off when a Man is more emotional then me. 50/50 isn't important men! Do you love her then just do for that reason? She Will care for you. But if your concerned about what she do for you then she won't stay.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤

[@cleftheart1969]

I delt with a loser like that never again I do better alone if he like that IJS 🙄

[@cleftheart1969]

EXACTLY 👏🏾 💯 👏🏾 I'm not say men can't express their feelings and can't cry ...of course not that is ludicrous. However if he is more of whiney bitch than you RUN IJS I don't need an emotional bitch for a so called man 🤨

[@jibarabicha4853]

Yes! Takers are the worst

[@shanii9017]

I come against the spirit of 50/50😑

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

[@chrysanthemums4963]

💀💀

[@womenstriving8960]

Amen!

[@queenuthopia4003]

RIP 50/50

[@emilienneceleste6215]

😂😂

[@deborahavery6325]

This is an excellent video😊 a lot of people are feeling exactly what you're saying but couldn't put it into words

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏

[@RRthee1]

Never again. It goes from being “with” a man to “for” a man real quick. I will never pay to live with a man because essentially, that’s what it means. 🥵

[@bleugunz3l]

So u waana live for free?

[@RRthee1]

@@bleugunz3l I pay my own way to live and am doing just fine. My experience is that 50/50 turns into woman pays more while man then ends up spending more of his money on himself, leaving her to pay more out of her paycheck toward the household then he does. It's called financial abuse. It's cheaper and financially safer for women to be single and on their own than 50/50 IMO. I am aware that not all men want to provide in that sense and I don't care (so we're clear).

[@bleugunz3l]

Goes both ways , the woman will only spend money on herself worst if she's a narcissistic, I firmly believe if a woman truly loves you ,just the gesture of offering to pay would be enough

[@RRthee1]

@@bleugunz3l I agree.

[@sheenatalks8529]

Depending on personal situations and what season of life the relationship is in, one partner will need more at some point and vice versa. It should be adjusted daily based on what each person is able to offer that day. Sometimes one will do more and then there'll be a time when they then need more. It should be fluid and based on the needs of the person in the relationship ❤ unfortunately I've been fighting for this in my relationship for a while and keep hoping he will understand and show up

[@marquisamurphy-glover5452]

Exactly! Just pour into each other❣️ There isn't No 50/50. When a giver meets another giver its a beautiful bond. But when one gets tired of giving therefore you start to here them state I did this and that giving heart changes to self instead of we. 🥺😞

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

🙏 I hope he reaches the point of truly doing what is best.

[@NARCDELUSION]

Exactly. I dumped my ex due to this 50/50 crap because his brother who was his boss set it up like that for me when I was 20 years old. They relied on me to finance their business! After I dumped the users, they had to declared bankruptcy after 5 years. But they are millionaires now. 😂

[@latashahumphrey769]

That's true it's y'all house I agree. You just have to pick the right person and make sure everything is understood up front that's straight up and simple

[@AminaMina-bx3ze]

You understand us as women very well

[@ayishaablake4397]

Excellent episode relevant topic. 🎤 drop and a round of 👏 . A true masculine man will not allow a 50/50. I now know that and I am learning the hard way. Thanks again Stephan!

[@brerobinson3817]

This video was very insightful and informative. Great job, great topic and the details to support! Definitely saving this

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!

[@MaxJusth]

I prefer to be single than to be used as a financial means. I don't know anyone in my circle who doesn't work together with their partner. It's the most normal and responsible thing an adult should do. Two people working and pooling their incomes provide you with a more open financial freedom and quicker opportunities to go on vacation or indulge in something.