AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT SHOULD BE AN OFFICAL DIAGNOSIS

[@spiritwanderer777]

Absolutely, the amount of trauma these people cause in others not to mention their own self-hatred and low self esteem is easily enough to raise many red flags in the mental health world.

[@SherriFlemming]

Well said

[@christinagaetano4756]

Say it loud for the people in the back, bless you, and thank you!

[@GesuHeche-fv4hx]

Thanks for bringing truth to light, Ken. I had a dear uncle, who passed away, but in hindsight, I realize he was a DA. He grew up pretty much alone - was sent to boarding school as a child and was bullied, with no intervention from his parents. He was a lovely person but in his romantic relationships, he could be very cold and unempathic and inadvertently hurt a lot of people. I really feel compassion for DAs because they received zero nurturing in most cases, but they are dangerous to other people’s mental health, even though they don’t mean to be. They have problems attaching and connecting, even to themselves, and this is sad for them and for the people that love them. As you said, this needs to be recognized as a diagnosis so that information is more accessible and people can heal if they choose to.

[@rupertperiwinkle4477]

Careful now, avoidants watching this will get upset and feel more like there is “something wrong with them” but its true

[@SherriFlemming]

Yes

[@insideunwrittenthings]

well said. if this was officially recognised, we can legitimise how it feels to have it and be on the receiving end of it. (and not be made to feel crazy)

[@jessy3488]

Yes... they say "somthing is fucked up with my head"

[@LD71685]

Word! Videos always make me feel better. Can you do another one on soft vs hard blocking?

[@evd0526]

100% spot on!!!

[@dimitrifert3321]

Absolutely ! I'm convinced that would greatly raise awareness on the topic which would benefit to both parties.

[@samchezrocks]

True!! Totally agree with You...

[@BirdieHaze2207]

My DA ex said a few weeks ago that he feels his brain is biochemically different, he would agree with this.

[@eg1620]

Your ex is correct. His brain is biochemically different

[@Jellybelly_143]

I’m an FA (healing) that was recently left in a terribly confusing way by a DA. I’m picking up the pieces but it was quite disturbing and has not been easy to get over ❤

[@jamesbondinspector]

Yes agreed! So ticked off at what I went through.

[@SSJavenger]

Why are severe avoidants so prone to alcohol and drugs? She literally left me for a drug addict that she also called ugly and had poor communication. Mind you i was ''the best she ever had'' and love bombed me to the point of obessesion. She was and still is extremely hard to get over even though if i put her possitives and negatives on paper, she is nothing special. I tried to figure her out even without knowing what an avoidant is because i pushed for communication and she told me she feels ''uneasy'' by how strong our communication is. Not happy, uneasy. I told her that since she finally found a good thing why can't she just live happy with it (me) and she told me ''because i fear of losing it''. How can this make sense?

[@Cre8Fire34]

You are 100% accurate on this. They are bleeding all over themselves, and all those around them, and they don't even seem to know where and how deeply they've been cut. I loved my ex - and she was toxic as hell - and petrified of a lot. Depressed, delusional at times ( she'd gaslight me in an arguement - usually one she created - and I'd have to end the argument by saying - "We need to stop, because I'm about to lose my cool - and become as nasty as you are being, and I WON'T do that - this can't be our dynamic". A few days would go bye. She's apologize - but also with this gaslighting caveat. "I'm sorry for what happened the other day. I wasn't myself. My psychic said that I was possessed by an entity - but she cleared the attachment"... She MEANT EVERY WORD. Not realizing that she has some dark shadow work and childhood trauma to heal from - and that the words came from JUST her - not spiritual possession.

[@Liza-Loves-You]

I love you! Ok thats a little lovebomb but I mean it!!!! I totally agree with you, as it is a very difficult condition to have and nearly impossible to solve without good help. Avoidant attachment can severely impact peoples lives. I once knew an avoidant. I didn't know about attachment then but I could tell how he suffered. I could tell that he had a very poor opinion about himself, control freak, perfectionist, "never good enough", only work no play, and "diagnosed" him with an anxiety disorder. I saw how he "distanced" himself from people, from life, as he didn't know how to fully enjoy and engage. He didn't feel free (safe) to do so. To just be himself, be curious and open to explore, experience, expand, develop, grow, learn, construct relationships, trust himself and also others and thrive in his life. Loneliness, he complained about. It was very painful for me to see him like that. He deserved so much better because he was a very warm and sensitive person, that was waaaaay too hard on himself. These people are really stuck. Sad, depressed. Never really relax. It's like they've given up on themselves and (try to) settle for it. He also said that before he used to feel things but lately felt nothing anymore. Not sad, not happy, just totally numb. That is ..... not feeling like a human. It seems to feel like a thick glass wall that burns them when they touch it. They can see other people close and intimate with eachother and they can long for that but no clue how to do it. If they can learn emotional and relationship tools, communication skills and that other people can be trustworthy and that they deserve a beautiful and healthy relationship with someone who is loving and loyal, they have a chance at a happy life. Most avoidants deserve that. But they think deep down that they are bad and only able to hurt and dissapoint other people. So by walking away they even try to protect other people. Remember What you think is true. Self talk is very powerful. Inner dialogue, mindset, attitude, gratitude. We all deserve to be happy and once we know that, we are halfway there. Then we are ready to do "the work", because we know it is worth it. I listen a frequently to Abraham Hicks. She teaches me a lot. I hope this helps someone, let me know ❤

[@VampyressVA]

If only they actually worked on themselves and went to therapy. But no, going to therapy would mean admitting that there is, indeed, something wrong with them, and that would be like revisiting their childhood wounds all over again. Better stay away and not face it. Just low emotional intelligence people.

[@fofeywhite7462]

....amen. Very traumatising. No future in it.

[@MD-gk2un]

Amen. I'm tired of getting my heart kicked in the ass It's traumatic af

[@therocknrollcook]

Absolutely factual.

[@tarkov666]

I dont understand how avoidance is considered just an "attachment" style when the entire behavior of that style is running away from attachment

[@christinagaetano8122]

Amazing 👏

[@andybiddle9088]

Bang on mate! 🎯

[@Growwithgrace101]

Well said! 100% agree 👍

[@noussa-tf3lb]

Couldn't agree more 💯

[@tinalu4695]

Absolutely. I stated that before in the comments of one of your videos. I would like to add the high probability of cptsd from childhood neglect/abuse for a lot of people with severe forms of insecure attachment. The symptoms you listed check every box concerning my avoidant ex. What especially hit home was the point about reality distortion. I keep going over our whole relationship again and again and his behavior and statements don’t make any sense at all. I think that’s why it’s so hard to let go. Maybe it helps if I see his way of thinking as a form of psychosis. I just want to get over the whole thing and move on already…. 😢

[@Liza-Loves-You]

Psychosis is a very heavy word, I don't think it applies. But paranoia, yeah. Negative Self fullfilling prophecies yes. Unrealistic assumptions, plenty. Perfectionists, hmmm. Control freak, nervous nelly, shy guy. Super stoic. Pokerface. Boyz don't cry. Emotionally stunted. They deserve help to learn how to feel truly free and happy with themselves and others. Behaviour that once was protection, now feels like (and is) a prison

[@tinalu4695]

Yes, Liza, you are right. As a therapist myself I should know better. I guess I just am very hurt and helpless. Psychosis is not the correct word and words and categories in general fall short in desciribing the inner world of a person perfectly. I guess I meant the fact of him living in his own and very screwed way of seeing, thinking and feeling about himself and the world. All the things you described apply 100% and I need to accept that there is nothing I can do or could have done to get to a different outcome than him running away from a potentially good relationship. Nothing really happened between us that would have justified such a behavior.

[@deb_diaries]

Absolutely 💯% agree.

[@AprilSunshine]

THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!!

[@SherriFlemming]

Well said.

[@sapnapandey5922]

You are right

[@Mine4ever-p3r]

So true

[@haihai5293]

I have FA. This diagnosis would be also fitting to us?

[@mohlmonster]

Truth bomb, look out below!

[@AltroIndirizzo-in7ze]

Avoidant personality disorder is in the DSM

[@deb_diaries]

He is talking about Avoidant Attachment disorders (there are two types: Fearful and Dismissive). He is not talking about Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD). The two differ. You are right, APD is in the DSM-5.... but that's not what his videos are about.

[@Curiousmind7777]

I’m anxiously attached and think that should be there too. Your content is great and you are very knowledgeable but Pls stop signaling one attachment type out.