Avoidant love bombing

#lovebombing #emotionallyunavailable #avoidant #relationship #avoidantattachment #dating #relationshipcoach #insecureattachment #fearfulavoidant #dismissiveavoidant #situationship #attachment #breakup #heartbroken

[@gayleneflower398]

THANK YOU!! please keep running this every day. Was in r/s with fearful about, 5 wasted years…love bombed, cheated & I fed into the excuses. I was getting weak tonite thank you for your messages….

[@ScottH7651]

this is EXACTLY what happened, exactly.

[@beaker7353]

Very true. My ex da told me he loved me on the 3rd time together, told me 8 weeks later. He'd found "the one" truly swept up with love and passion in the start. To be discarded like a piece of shit on his shoe 😢

[@hilkaahlers5855]

Ditto....ouch!

[@beaker7353]

@hilkaahlers5855 nice to know that someone understands what I'm going through. I feel for you 💔

[@hilkaahlers5855]

Yes.....sadly I very much understand. I hope you can get closure and as I always say. Time will heal and resolve. I think through our experience. We both learned a very hard lesson.💕

[@ScottH7651]

very similar. she love bombed me and then discarded me saying that it was moving too fast. just wow. and then she's back on the apps looking for her next victim. she's truly sick and I feel like I've been infected with it now. can't trust anyone. maybe we shouldn't trust anyone.

[@tallspicy]

Why was that attractive to all of you? That seems like a huge red flag

[@AnnaWhite-go6nz]

Yep. I was informed how our children will be educated, our honeymoon, that I was his soul mate. That he would look after me. That he would have a ring on it and a baby within 12 months. But then discarded, ghosted and no show for a date he initiated. Psycho behaviour, never had this before and I will never let it happen again

[@formalhault5820]

Coach talk about your own personal experience dating one. It'll really help us as well. 🔥 🔥

[@seancostello6729]

I wish i had come across your channel sooner. My partner displays all the traits you talk about

[@ashton1952]

A very good explanation and valuable advice, thanks

[@stevenbeesley3329]

It is now week 2 of NC with my DA. She just suddenly switched off and all of a sudden stonewalled me. I didn't know what happened, no warning. It was just awful. After 2 years. Started to find out about DA and saw videos and it all started to make sense. In allot of immense emotional pain.

[@tredd9019]

Because their "Twin Flame" is the narcissist.

[@jbkormos]

Thank you, once again, for this insight.

[@charikloangel33]

Been no contact with a DA since January after a situationship. Lots of love bombing. It is like a drug and I've mostly weaned myself off, but it still lingers a bit. I do kind of miss him, but I thank him for the validation and the connection, and also the lesson in spotting red flags in future relationships.

[@Quixote1818]

Can you go into avoidant behavior that isn't from childhood neglect from parents? A lot of people have all sorts of other trauma's from deaths of parents and siblings when they are young, being cheated on, failing in school etc. Can these traumas cause the same behavior or will there be differences?

[@ashton1952]

Some people can become more avoidant, like people who were mostly healthy attached before, after getting involved with narcs. Narcs have that effect, whether they're parents or partners.

[@daughteroftheking6402]

My son died, the man I loved, my sister and my dad, as well as others and i feel I became avoidant now from all of that.

[@manchesterisred99]

I have a question Coach Ryan: can a severe avoidant's deactivation/shutdown appear like they are cheating - even when they might not be? (Happened recently with a situationship: felt like I saw a whole different woman and as if she'd been swept off of her feet by a new guy (or something like this)).

[@spiritwanderer777]

i can answer that, YES. when my ex started deactivating she put herself in situations that could be interpreted as cheating such as doing private naked jacuzzi with a random guy she spend a few days with while traveling. save yourself a lot of pain and leave if you are at the point of suspecting cheating

[@Sanecatlady74]

If you have a feeling. The gut knows. They always have a back up harem too.

[@ashton1952]

Sounds just like typical narc behavior, jumping from partner to partner, love triangles and making you look like the jealous and crazy one, getting any and all kinds of attention, even negative attention will do, getting naked and parading. That's narcs guys. They are insecure attached; somebody can correct me but I don't think narcs are secure. NPD more likely to have FA and anxious styles as they have huge neediness, need for control and create massive drama. That's narcs, not just the person feeling insecure relating. It's always good to know what one is dealing with.

[@ashton1952]

@@spiritwanderer777 The problem with simply leaving, without talking, without evidence, then you can get called the DA for leaving the relationship for ''no reason'' ie discarding them. It's good, I think, to check out the person's morals, behavior and everything else before even getting into the relationship.

[@spiritwanderer777]

@@ashton1952 try it. you will not know someone's values, morals etc. until you get into the relationship, because DAs and Narcissists will love bomb you and tell you whatever you want to hear. true face without the mask only comes out with time, when things become intimate, after you are already dating.

[@ShiloBenShalom]

So what if im not ready to open up about something? Am i an avoidant person?

[@annnee6818]

Did you even watch the video?

[@ShiloBenShalom]

@@annnee6818 Mrs. Anger... I say whats on my mind, i dont need your approval. thank you

[@salvomig2368]

All about the communication. The avoidant stonewalls and avoid the discussion. A secure person might say something along the lines of it is very painful and deep topic that I cannot discuss at this time. Secure person has boundaries which are discussed, the avoidant has boundaries which the partner is expected to mind read. Then when the boundaries are crossed, they use it as an excuse to pull away. So all about the communication, hope this helps.

[@Flufero23]

Ironically, my ex FA is also my twin flame. Lol!😂 Symptoms are the same.

[@Sanecatlady74]

Oh stop the new c age non sense. Real love doesn t run and gives you trauma.

[@Flufero23]

This is not new age nonsense. Educate yourself. If you don't know what you're talking about, it's better to just keep quiet.

[@koolkattysun1953]

Question: does DA know they are a DA or do they just think ‘ this one’s not for me’. And if they do know they are a DA do they know it’s from childhood? Also how are they diagnosed if they don’t go to the therapist? I never even heard of this word until I ended up with this guy for a couple years. I did know/feel things were off after much learning he was a DA. I basically diagnosed him. He had all the traits. Do you think these kind of people are lonely?

[@Sanecatlady74]

They love being alone. And don t diagnose someone without the education.

[@IndefinableSin]

- yes, they are lonely - yes, they interpret their reluctance to commit and that gut feeling that it just won't work out not as a fear of abandonment but as 'this one's not the one for me' - they can figure out they're avoidant themselves, they're not usually that un-self aware, but that doesn't mean they have the capacity or willingness to work on it