AVOIDANT MEN OPEN UP when you do THIS 👀 Everything you need to know to get him to TRUST you!

[@emilytalbott2984]

I did all of this and more. It drained me to the depths.... I will jo longer give ti where im a shell of a being to an Avoidant.

[@Franziska.scherner]

What if he says: I don’t need your help … ? There is nothing you can do. - I ask if he wants/ needs anything: NOTHING.

[@renchemarais8419]

Send him far away to nothingville! 👉One way ticket.

[@danasteele-wh7vy]

This is my man too…so frustrating 😢

[@kalima7446]

Better say (like he said in the video) "Would it help you if I do x today?" Not: "How can I help you?" He needs a presented option for better orientation from what he can choose. Or I say: I do/bring x for you now/later so you feel better. Ok? He either let it happen (ok/nodding) or says no. This also works with head massage without words. He never said no to this. Treat him like a stray cat.

[@Susan-ye4bc]

Offering to help him actually comes across as a lack of respect. Like you don't trust him to handle whatever it is on his own. It is also a bit mothering which Adam said men do not want. Respect is saying I trust you to handle this. You've got this. And or just letting him handle it without jumping in to "fix" it. Then being open and accepting if he should come towards you later with a request, not I knew you needed my help etc. etc.. It can be hard for women who were brought up to be mothering to do this, but you can do this with practice. Good luck x

[@Kathy-hg5km]

Very interesting to listen. That Was 100% me, loving, caring, nurturing, supporting what not ... until realizing it's a one way game, watching him grow in every field of life while I got more and more depressed, emotionally completly starving, blamed, gaslighted, put down daily. Wohooo woke up, of course no one needs that in return. This is the time I'm craving for a partner, who would be this caring, loving and nurturing to me. That would be sooo amazing. Are there men out there who love to show respect, build on mutual trust, growth, sometimes also shrink 😂 sees his partner, values her or is it illusionary? Than I rather stay alone. Promise. Never ever one way street kind of relationship. Go for mutual care, love and support, not less!

[@shellynate]

Yep me to:*(

[@hotpink3459]

Right, I'm wondering if they ever reciprocate the help?

[@Kathy-hg5km]

@@hotpink3459 Adam obviously does, sure his clients do. I assume lot of work needs to be done by willing men with certain avoidant tendencies, who never experienced reciprocity, not to mention selfless love. Completly underestimated that. Really thought it would be much easier. But I'm open to proof me wrong and experience, MUTUAL LOVE. Glad Adam and his team put all this effort in to make a change. Who knows ... maybe in couple month, years the impact shows up 😉. Let's be positive.

[@kalima7446]

@@hotpink3459 I believe it's rather unlikely reliable because his (my partner's) answer would be unspoken "I never asked you - or somebody else - for help.". He rather says something like "Fuuuuck!! What do I do now?! (Screaming, Crying)". And I say, no problem, I will help, my motto is knowledge is power, so I am always optimistic. He's the hand, I'm the head (our motto). Deep down he is convinced I would abandon him, don't really love him - especially when I can't give physical touch back as in former years (I was traumatized by a gyn). He says a (head, back, feet) massage is not enough for him. As long as I am not ready to please him physically like HE wants it, he will further behave like a stray cat and only be there for me when he is in the mood, after several hours of his online game (always first priority for him). In the beginning of our relationship I of course didn't know that we are only in 7h heaven as long as I can please him physically and I should never dare to get sick = unable to please him. Am starting soon the attachment repair work. Maybe it helps us.

[@Melisa-tm3kt]

Your wisdom is greatly appreciated as I love my Man and I want to understand him fully

[@wendyswift706]

Thank you, no repeated deep table womps

[@jar_of_nonalcoholic_gin]

Every single one of the solutions sounds like something helpful to me. And amazing.

[@KD-hy3bi]

There’s nothing I can do. He already left. 3 times in 4 years. Only if he really is “working on himself” and comes back can we work on our future. In the meantime I am absolutely doing the self reflection work to not be anxious in life and relationships.

[@linamarie84]

😂😂😂😂😂 I actually laughed out loud 😂😂😂 "I go into my mind palace" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@KD-hy3bi]

I laughed at that too lol

[@lisaraper8053]

Your tips on this channel have been greatly appreciated and very helpful. Thank you so much.

[@Caseysfacey]

I recognized the harm my emotional avoidance was causing my loved ones about 7 years ago. I've been working on addressing trauma wounds and identifying/examining my triggers so I can be more intentional about how I show up to those people. That's all made a huge difference and I'm the most securely attached relationship I've had in my entire life. It feels amazing to experience so much safety and freedom to explore together. The biggest challenge for me is that, when we are apart for awhile or don't make time for sexual/physical/emotional intimacy, I feel disconnected again really quickly. It's like I haven't learned emotional object permanence yet 😅. When I feel disconnected from my partner, I also experience feelings of loneliness and insecurity. Those seem to be the moments where doubt and fear have me looking for either an exit or an outlet to escape the discomfort and dysregulation. What advice do you have for couples who maybe don't live together to foster and sustain a connection that endures even when we're apart? Like maybe how we text or communicate?

[@kalima7446]

Writing mutual love letters helps my partner very much. I can recommend taking the 5 love languages quiz.

[@lisaraper8053]

Thank you for your help. I appreciate it very much.

[@benjaminholt6640]

9:10 is too real.... damn I do that

[@nadaestephan1800]

If he does not want to commit? And I want to after 3 years

[@kathyjudson6754]

Love that use of ai for my situation !

[@Adriana.Gabriela]

So what if an avoidant gets stressed out when solving a problem? I know one like that 😅

[@ladybird3447]

Good Morning Adam! You were awesome as always 🎉all these things you (AI) mentioned did I make with my husband what made him total lazy until I was drained while he didn’t even get the clue how to return/give love the way I feel loved❤So from my perspective giving love pretty OK, but ask for what I need and make him do for me, this is where things get interesting and difficult.😢Could you help with some tips, please? 😊

[@hotpink3459]

The thing is, will the avoidant reciprocate this help?

[@temitopebenjamin2446]

Hi Adam, Thank you for the great video. I want to rewatch this from another perspective of an avoidant woman but first I want to know it it’s applicable. Or do I have to look for a separate video that touches on the same things you’ve talked about from an avoidant woman’s perspective? I’m a guy and hope this makes sense. Thanks

[@hotpink3459]

Yesterday, I texted my avoidant with a little funny video and "I hope the project is going well" because I know they're having a stressful week, and they didn't respond (this is unusual). I think they're way more stressed than usual. Should I drop off a surprise meal for them without them having to talk to me (they appreciated when I brought them food a few days ago when we hung out...they actually asked me if I could pick up food) or just leave them alone?

[@kalima7446]

I would send a meal pic + "I could bring this if you want" and wait for the response. Thumbs up + yes please means I will bring this. Else it could end disappointing for you and/or them. My avoidant is very picky.

[@hotpink3459]

@@kalima7446 I ended up looking up what they ordered before from our old texts and then I said "hey, I got you this, let me know if you want me to leave it on your car." They said it was nice of me to do that and had me come in and we hung out for a bit. Thanks for the advice! :)

[@AspenCreekFarms]

Lol. These are all the thinhs my husband does foe me

[@Kathy-hg5km]

Wow lucky you ❤👍

[@ndndndnnduwjqams]

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