AvPD & ADHD vlog - stressful errands & finally making art again

Welcome back to a vlog about my life with Avoidant Personality Disorder and ADHD.
This week I had to will myself into doing some chores, tackle some stressful errands out in the world, and finally got around to making a couple cyanotypes. :) Thanks for watching.
Join the discord ---- / discord
Support me by purchasing a cyanotype --- anxiousavoidantart.com

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

I purposely left the sound in the timelapse because it cracks me up 😂 just needed you to know it was a conscious decision ok byyyyye

[@LiveFaustDieJung]

Oh wow. Those photos turned out so cool. I’m definitely going to get into that. So much to play around with. Thanks for sharing this. I’m super stoked to know of a new type of art I can play with. Oh and love to the fur balls! Of course I love them! 😅🩷

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

🤗🤗🤗 that makes me so happy!!

[@basedbutgay]

Cyanotypes finally arrived and lived up to the hype! I love this deep indigo blue color.

[@phil8742]

I saw a large Wolf Spider once in Kalkaska, MI. It was quite startling! The spider crossed the floor and disappeared.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

😰 they are so menacing hahahaha

[@markaoslo5653]

2:52 - You can also make _'bread-pudding'_ with those 'heel's! - croutons, stuffing/dressing - or, if one is not crust-averse, toast them, they hold a lot of butter! 😃

[@LiveFaustDieJung]

I like bread butts and I cannot lie! That’s my favorite part.

[@markaoslo5653]

🤣 Perfect! (my favorite, too - especially with homemade bread) Cheers-

[@curbesidenation]

Thanks for showing us the process for making cyanotypes they are so cool! I definitely want to try it out.

[@staleyexplores]

You do have a beautiful home!! I like you am very thankful for my current living situation in life that has been the result of my wife and i qorking really really hard, mainly her making the 💵 and me playing the supportive role of house husband. 💜 Ok I'm at the point in the video where you are at Walmart, let me finish the video now, I'll probably just need to comment again.😅

[@staleyexplores]

The cyanoart is so awesome!! I liked both prints 💜 but the plant one was my favorite 👍. Love seeing the pups playing in the snow too, another excellent vlog, thx for sharing.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

Thank you ❤️

[@neurodivergent7744]

Hey Maxine! That's so beautiful, wanderful art. I never heard about it or at least I don't remember that heard about it. And after your explanation, showing process and get beautiful results I read about it in wikipedia and then some articles ❤😮 Perfect color and perfect art. Thank you for show it for us...😊

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

😊❤️

[@abandonedplane]

I really appreciate the consciousness in reassuring that you in no way intend to display your present living situation as some kind of gloat. Not that you owe anyone any such explanation, but for you to go into detail in how you came to be where you are is very likely relatable to more than not. Glad you now enjoy such a living situation. I too avoid the more busy Wal-Marts whenever possible, for the reasons you detailed. I still almost only ever go to any, even the smaller locations, as early in the morning as possible. Good that you're exercising that kind of exposure practice, it's important that we gradually allow ourselves to better acclimate to such environments. Very interesting to see more of the print making process fleshed out. I think I like the print with the plants the most; the detail of all the stuff on the leaves, especially when washed in the peroxide, appealed to me.

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

Thank you 🙏🏻 I definitely try to go to Walmart as early in the morning as possible, I hated going midday but I survived! So I guess that’s the point. 😅❤️

[@chloe-mr7sz]

have u ever tried doing cyanotype on a shirt ??

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

I have on fabric and it does work! I haven’t tested the longevity of it after repeated washes though so I’m not sure how well it would hold up long-term. But you can use it on basically any porous material. ☺️

[@Oliver_Bryan]

Thanks for taking the time to vlog for us. I must admit am so pleased wolf spiders do not exist over here in England. I have to say well done on starting on the wrapping the gifts, I am pondering descending to using aluminium foil this year as I hate it. I use to pay my sister to wrap them for me till she selfishly got married and moved away :)

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

Foil is such a good idea 😂 it’s such a pain and I’m not good at it either hahahah

[@friarpesel5646]

I enjoyed this 😇 thank you. Would you characterize the day you had in this video as an “up” day, a good day, or an average kind of meh day for you?

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

I would say better than meh, but in a “fake it til you make it” kinda way. If that makes sense. 😅 I definitely wasn’t feeling particularly good, but I was proud of myself for what I was able to accomplish despite it. So in that way, it was better than average. 👌🏻

[@friarpesel5646]

@@anxious_and_avoidant very interesting. For what it’s worth if I had to guess based on the video, I would have thought it was at least a good day. How we see ourselves versus how others see us, is fascinating. Personally I know that I can fall victim to a particularly vicious inner critic that, frankly, lies… but I believe the lies because they come in the form of my own thoughts. It’s actually a peculiar kind of delusion. Maybe we both just need Zen for the rest of our lives 😅

[@markaoslo5653]

15:57 - I used to love wrapping gifts! (no doubt, I had it down to a 'science') 😺

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

I’m not great at it 😂 I used to think it was one of those skills that would just come to me once I reached womanhood but it turns out it’s like all other skills and you have to practice 🥲 lol

[@markaoslo5653]

@@anxious_and_avoidant - Hemmed edges, aligned patterns, and perfectly even, tucked corners, never-minding an appropriately matched bow, and invisible tape 💝 - it's suitable for a store display, or a professional picture, not much else... (unless, you happen to gift, another 'crazy' perfectionist - you'll know, they'll surgically, unwrap it 😜) - wrap it with love, and call it good! 😁 Cheers- ❤

[@HannoverDaz]

❤ Genuine question. What IS IT that you feel, when you feel down/ nervous/ avoidant? What has changed, or what emotion do you feel? (As a fellow suffer, I know how it feels, but I want you to think about it.) Dig deep into that, and question yourself... your motives. "Why do I feel like pooh?" When you dig deep enough, you begin to realise that it's yourself. *I'm* the one feeling this. *I'm* the only cause. And *IF* you can get to that place, in your thinking... then you can also get to the next place, which is... If it's *ME*, then I can do something about it. I can refuse to feel it anymore. I can get out of my own way. I can put on some uplifting music. I can surround myself with cut flowers and a fresh fruit bowl. I can pray. I can give thanks. And Be happy. And you can! Your house is lovely and you don't need to feel guilt about it. Or anything! No one is judging you. You are judging yourself... And you can change that! Lift your energy. Decide to change your internal channel/chatter... and DO NOT LET IT IN! imagine it as a little demon, and banish it from your life. Forever. I know you can do it. X🥰

[@anxious_and_avoidant]

This is definitely the mindset I’m trying to come into. ❤️

[@HannoverDaz]

@@anxious_and_avoidant I definitely think you can. And it's by no means perfect all the time... but it is really achieveable in SOME situations to say to yourself, I'm NOT going there! I'm NOT doing this to myself. We are not going to do this again. 😄 Become your own boss. Much love to you. X